All of these lovely beings belong to the entity known as Paramount/Viacom.  I just like to dress them up funny.  Any and all feeback is enthusiastically requested.


This is rated PG.






By Trekki





Happy Birthday!



//Do you have any clue what time it is?//



-It's 1400 hours.



//Do you have any clue what time it is where I am?//



It's--Uh, sorry.



//s everything okay?  Are you all right?//



I'm fine!  I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday on our special day!



//<sigh> I wish you wouldn't call it that.  You know I hate it.//



I can't believe you still don't find it amazing that we, two half-sisters, have the exact same birthday.  I mean, come on!  What are the odds?



//Actually, 1 out of 365 by the Julian Calendar to which you refer, but I forgot that math isn't your strong suit.//



There's no need to get bitchy.



//Sorry, Christine.  I'm just not a morning person, and for me, it's three o'clock in the morning right now.//



You're not exactly a people person either, are you?



//Are we going to do this again this year?//



No.  We're not.  I'm sorry, I just wanted to wish you a happy birthday and maybe share in a little sisterly bonding.  I'll let you get back to sleep...



//Don't hang up.  I'm awake now, so we may as well talk.  So, how's work?//



Why do you have to ask that first:  There's more to my life than my job, you know!



//In other words, the unsatisfying, mentally unrewarding job of emptying bed pans and supervising others who empty bed pans, has finally gotten to you and you're regretting leaving your potentially brilliant career in research to look for a man you don't even talk about anymore?//



Hey, don't sugar-coat it!  By the way, you were on this ship for six years.  One would think you'd hold a certain nostalgic fondness for the place in your cold little heart.



//Six years, no career advancement since they offered Jim Kirk the captaincy.  Can't figure out why I'm not all warm and fuzzy inside...//



At least you've gotten over your bitterness?



//Very funny.  If I'd stayed behind in a position I had outgrown, like you're doing, I'd be excruciatingly bitter.  And mean.  Don't forget mean.//



If only I could imagine that...



//Keep trying.  By the way, why are you calling me from orbit instead of knocking on my front door.  Not that I like to be surprised by people knocking on my front door in the middle of the night, but would it have killed you to come by in person?//



It wasn't really my choice.  Someone has to supervise the quarterly inventory surveys while everyone else is on leave.  Besides, Dr. McCoy and I are co-authoring an article for the Federation Medical Journal.  Articles don't write themselves, you know.



//And articles don't get written when one of the authors is three sheets to the wind in a space port strip club.//



How did you know?



//Lucky guess.  Here's another guess:  His name will be first on the byline, and you'll be lucky to not be referred to as "and staff".  Come on, Christine!  Which one of you did all of the research, and which one of you is merely prioritizing the data and signing his name?//



Why is everything a competition with you?  Why do you always have to be number one?



//I will do you a favor and let that one slide.//



So, what's new in your life?



//Great segue.  Really smooth.//



Seeing anyone?



//As a matter of fact, yes.  And he's still asleep, so could you lower your voice?//



OMIGOD.  I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.



//To interrupt would mean there was something to interrupt.  The fact that I told you my partner is asleep should have clued you in to the fact that activities have finished, or at least are in recess.//



You romantic, you.  Once again, I apologize.  I had no idea you had company.



//Excuse me?  Why wouldn't you think I had company?//



You're not exactly an easy person to get close to.



//I'm quite easy, for the right guy.  Let me rephrase that...//



All I'm saying is that you can be a little off-putting, that's all.



//Hey, just because you're only serious relationship is with your sonic-shower nozzle, don't think I'm in the same boat!//



Okay, that's just low.  Besides, we haven't talked for over seven months.  For all you know, I'm in a deeply committed and monogamous relationship.



//Are you?//






//Once again, I'm not surprised.  Please tell me you are not still hung up on Spock.  Please tell me that.//



Do we really need to go through it again?



//Oh, hell.  You are still hung up on him.  Chris, when are you going to learn that the unattainable is sometimes that.  Unattainable.//



I'm really sick of everyone telling me this.



//Rigel IX to Christine!  There's a reason everyone tells you this!  Everyone can see it but you.  Is it really worth putting your life on hold for a man, especially one who's not interested in you the way you are in him?//



Let's change the subject before we both say things  we'll regret.



//Fine.  So what interesting things could you be doing now instead of mooning over Spock?//


I don't consider that changing the subject.


//I'm sorry.  It just hurts me to see you waste your potential like this.  You have so much to offer the right person.//



You're still not dropping it, are you?



//One more question, then I swear I'll drop it.  Has Spock given you any encouragement that you two could ever be anything more than colleagues in the last six months?


Hello?  I can't hear you.//






//If you weren't stuck on the Enterprise right now, where would you be and what would you be doing.  Better still, who would you be doing?//



It's not fair, those are three questions.



//I'm your big sister.  Fair's not part of the deal.//



Okay, and don't laugh.  I've considered going to Medical School.






Come on, I said don't laugh!


//I'm not laughing, I'm just surprised.  You've never indicated any interest in becoming a physician before.//



Sickbay is not as tedious as you make it out to be.  I enjoy being with the patients, I enjoy being hands on.  I can always do research, but seeing all of this every makes me feel alive.  More alive then I've felt since, well, since Roger left.



//So do it!  Go back and get your degree!  With your resume and connections, it will be a snap to get in.//



I said I'm considering it.  I haven't decided one way or the other yet.



//What's holding you back?  Oh, please don't say what I think you're going to say...//



Then, I won't say it.



//This is unbelievable!  I can't believe you are being so ridiculously tunnel-visioned!  You know, I dropped you on your head when you were eighteen months old, and that explains volumes to me now!//



You're going to wake Prince Charming up if you keep yelling.



//Forget about him!  And more importantly, forget about Spock!  Would it kill you for once to put your own interests first?//



I'm going to hang up.  I didn't call you so we could argue about this.



//Yes you did!  You know what my views are, and I think you want me to tell you how you're ruining your life.  How can you live in such denial?  If our positions were reversed, you would drag me off of that damn ship by my hair.//



And you'd tell me to go screw myself before slamming me into a bulkhead.  Unlike you, I don't quit when things get rough.



//We really don't want to go down that road, do we?//



You started it.



//No, I didn't.//



Yes, you did.






You have an IQ over 300, and that's the best response you can give me?  Whoever your friend is, he must be pretty good to leave you that brain-dead.



//I'm merely trying to argue on your level so you will understand.//



You're known for your warmth.  Really.



//Is there any way you can beam down and see me face to face while you're here.//



Well...maybe for an hour or two. 



//We can buy a cake and split it.//






//An ice cream cake.//



I guess I can delegate some of the inventory.



//Excellent!  Would you like to meet at the main gazebo at the station?  The one with the Antarean forsythia?//



I'm allergic to Antarean forsythia.



//Then it will be easy, follow your nose.  How does 1900 sound?//



Actually, it's a little late.



//Good.  I'll have time to catch up on my rest.  See you then?//



Fine.  1900 by the allergy bush.  I'll be the one sneezing maniacally.



//Great.  I'm looking forward to it.  By the way...//






//I love you, Christine.  You know that, right?//



I know.  I love you to.  Good night, or good morning, or whatever.


//Good night.//







The former first officer of the Enterprise hit the button that terminated the communication.  Her normally controlled features momentarily tightened in a grimace as her angry indigo eyes fell on her companion.


"You and I are going to have one helluva conversation in the morning, Mister."


Spock grunted softly as he pulled the covers over his head and began to snore.