Transitions

Transitions

by Djinn

Christine Chapel took a final look at herself in the mirror. Stop it, she ordered. You look fine. She tried with little success to convince herself this was just another day. But it wasn't. Spock was coming here. To Earth. He would be living here in San Francisco, working at the Academy. Seeing her. I'm never going to get through the day if I keep this up, she thought sternly. I have to put him out of my mind. Striding purposefully out of her apartment she headed off to Starfleet Medical.

But once settled in her office she found her thoughts again turning to Spock. She was still somewhat shocked that he was in her life. Really in her life this time, not just a fantasy. What had started so unexpectedly during their time together on Burask was slowly blossoming into something strong and true. Spock's visit several months ago had allowed them to nurture their yet tentative understanding. He had not stayed with her; in fact he seemed content to take it slow as if to prove that her fears of his affection being caused by the Pon Farr were unfounded. But they had shared time together and she had found that a sweet gift indeed.

Perhaps the biggest gift was that he was constantly surprising her. Even after all the years they had served together, she had only known a very small part of him. She had fallen in love with him, despite that. But now, she was falling all over again. This time with the real Spock. A reserved, logical man yes. But unemotional? She was finding out that he had emotions. She had always known he was brave, loyal, compassionate. But she was learning that he was capable of great tenderness. She remembered when they had gone to the park just to sit and talk. She had been telling him about something painful in her past and had looked down, not wanting him to see her tears. His fingers had stroked her hair gently, then had lifted her chin till their eyes met. "Do not regret your tears, Christine," he admonished her. "They are part of what I value in you."

Yes, he was capable of tenderness. And, she was starting to understand, passion. He had not shared his mind with her since that time on Burask. Nor had he touched her other than a few gentle caresses. But his passion for her was there. It was in the way he listened to her tell of her life, in the way he remembered the way she liked her coffee, how he could pick out her favorite foods. And it was in the way he looked at her when he left to arrange his affairs for his return to Star Fleet. He had touched her arm, a feathery stroke down bare skin that made every inch of her body tingle. "I look forward to spending more, much more, time with you." She had wanted to take him back to her apartment right then, tell him to forget everything else, just stay there with her. He must have been reading her through the touch because he raised an eyebrow at her in what she was coming to learn was his playful look. "The sooner I leave, the sooner I can be back." She had nodded and moved aside so that he could step up to the transporter pad.

And now he was coming back, after several very long months. She was more than ready to see him again. But in the meantime, she had some experiments in the lab that needed a steady hand and a focused mind. Pushing thoughts of Spock away, she went to check on her work. Once engaged she quickly found herself lost in the intricacies of biological exploration. A discreet cough distracted her from her work.

"Spock! I was going to meet you. And I meant to clean up a bit, I've got dye all over my hands and..."

"My meetings finished early. I have been watching you for some time, Christine. I found the sight of you working fascinating. And the dye is most becoming."

"You have very strange tastes. Give me a minute, I have to continue this stage or I'll lose a week of work. "

"Perhaps with my assistance, we can accomplish the task more efficiently?" Spock came over and picked up an instrument.

Christine shook her head. "If I didn't know better, Spock, I'd think you were eager to get out of here?"

"Fortunately, you know better," Spock teased her, one eyebrow raised. They set to work and shortly the specimens were safe to leave for the night.

Christine bent over the sink, scrubbing the dye off her hands. "Sorry to deprive you of something that you found stimulating." She looked up at him. He stood over her with a tender look in his eyes.

"It was not your hands that caught my interest." He reached over for a cloth, moistened it, and gently wiped her cheek.

"On my face?" she asked in dismay.

His expression changed again. It was the look she had come to think of as amused. He continued cleaning; his touch though gentle was arousing. His expression became more serious. He leaned in closer. "As I indicated it is most attractive."

"Attractive?" Christine repeated, somewhat breathlessly.

"Yes."

She was drowning. He only had to touch her like this and she was drowning. He must have sensed her thoughts because he moved up against her. She felt the sink behind her, his body in front of her.

His voice was ragged, "I have missed you, Christine."

She tentatively reached her hand to his face, stroked his cheek. He breathed out, nearly a gasp. She brought her other hand up, let her fingers play; go where they had always wanted to go. His hair. His ears. His skin. He captured her hands in his, brought his mouth down to hers. She felt his lips on hers, the touch set off the exchange of sensation she had experienced when they had danced. He was gentle, but she sensed the fire kept in control. When he pulled away, she found herself unsteady.

She just looked at him for a moment, then gave him a long slow smile, "We should get out of here?"

"Indeed." His expression turned thoughtful. "Christine, I may have been presumptuous. I did not bring much with me from Vulcan. But what I did bring, I had beamed to your apartment. I was hoping to stay there until other arrangements could be made."

"You want to stay at my place?"

He raised an eyebrow. "Perhaps you should have Dr. McCoy check your hearing?" His look was playful, and she felt herself grinning back like a fool. "I believe that is what I said. Shall we go?"

He moved back letting her get past him. Shaking her head at him, Christine grabbed her things, and they made their way out the door.

**********************************

Christine tried to get her racing heart to slow down as she and Spock walked back to her apartment. She asked him how his journey was, allowing his words to wash over her, calming her. Until she thought again about kissing him, his hands on hers, his lips on hers.

"Christine? You are distracted?" He kept walking, did not even look at her, but there was a lightness in his tone that told her he knew exactly what she was thinking about.

"You aren't...distracted?" She replied devilishly. "Seeing as how you started it?"

"It was illogical to put it off any longer." He glanced over at her. "One of us had to start it."

She laughed. If I could go back, she thought, and tell the me of all those years ago that someday I would be walking down the street with Spock, joking about kissing, I know I'd never believe it.

"Are you hungry?" Spock was slowing as they came up to one of her favorite restaurants. She had taken him there during his visit to celebrate his reinstatement and promotion to Captain. "We could stop."

She had planned to cook for him tonight, but this seemed like a much better idea. The idea of being alone with him seemed suddenly terrifying despite her desire for him. She followed him into the cozy bistro.

"Dr. Chapel, so good to see you again." The maitre'd came up to them. "And Captain Spock, how nice that you are back. You are in luck. I have a table for you right over here." He led them to a side table, with just enough room between it and the next to give them some privacy. "Some friends of yours are here as well." He inclined his head to the back where she saw Dr. Zarthakh and Chief Healer Dotura eating with some others from Starfleet Medical. Dotura saw them, excused herself, and walked over to the table.

"Christine, my dear." She leaned in to kiss her. "You look radiant," she whispered, "I expect details." Dotura turned to Spock, "I hear congratulations are in order, Captain Spock."

"Most kind, Dotura. I am surprised to see you here."

"One of the advantages of being the chief healer. When the opportunities for the first medical exchange came up, it was easy to make sure that I was on the list. Andrei had to return here, so I decided to come with him instead of remaining on Burask alone."

Christine interjected, "Dotura makes herself sound so selfish. Starfleet is lucky to have her. Her experience with certain cultures that we have no access to has already proven invaluable." She smiled at her friend, "Of course, I may be biased."

Spock agreed, "It is the nature of friendship to be biased." He gave Christine a look laced with affection.

Dotura smiled when she saw it. "I need to get back to our guests. We will have to get together when you are settled in to your...well...wherever you are staying."

"I will be at Christine's," Spock replied.

She glanced at Christine, who seemed happily dazed. This gets more interesting by the minute, Dotura thought as she made her way back to her table.

**********************************

Spock stood close behind her as Christine keyed in the code to her apartment. They had lingered over dinner, catching up on the last few months, reconnecting until Spock called for the check. The short walk back to her place had been silent but comfortable. Spock had brushed against her several times as they walked, and Christine had felt her heart skip a beat each time.

She palmed the lights and stepped into her living room. Several small cases and a satchel were sitting neatly near the door. "You weren't kidding when you said you didn't bring much, Spock."

He was standing right behind her, she could feel his breath on her hair as he answered, "I was unsure of what I would need for my accommodations. I can have more items shipped from Vulcan if necessary. But I believe that everything I need is right here."

She turned to look at him. He was not looking at the bags. He was looking at her. She swallowed, audibly. "Spock, do you have any idea the effect you are having on me?"

"Yes." He reached for her, running his hands over her arms, her shoulders, her neck. "And I am equally aware of the effect you are having on me."

Christine had to remind herself to breathe. Spock's hands were everywhere; she felt his passion through the touches. He was making no attempt to hide it. She wanted him desperately. "Are you sure? Now?"

His lips found hers, gentle at first, then more demanding. She opened hers to him, felt their tongues meet. Found herself matching his passion, pulling him closer. His voice was rough as he replied, "Christine, I desire you. You desire me. I see no logic in denying this. Or delaying it. Unless you do not wish it?"

She knew he could feel her emotions. Her need for him. But also her fear of him, of this, of what this could do to her life, her heart, if it went wrong. "I'm just a little afraid, of us I mean, of doing this."

He pulled her close, smoothed her hair, kissed her gently on her lips. She could feel a more tender emotion alongside his desire. His fingers found her face again, but this time his touches were not random. She felt him reaching for a meld, hesitating while he waited for her to help him, or stop him. *It has to be your choice, T'hy'la,* his voice sounded in her mind. She shuddered with pleasure at the feeling of it, the intimacy. *For everything there is a first time. Shall this be ours?* His mind was hovering just on the edges of hers. Her fear warred with her desire. The battle was brief.

*Spock,* she sent him her thoughts, *Yes, my love, yes.* She felt his mind filling her, his thoughts to hers, his heart to hers. Her knees gave out and his arm tightened supporting her as his other hand shifted, deepening the connection. He was everywhere, she felt his desire, she felt him feel hers. He lowered her to the floor. His fingers left her face, but the meld remained. As his hands roamed her body, removed her clothes, she felt his pleasure in touching her. As she stroked him, kissed him, he sent her his need to be touched. She felt the reflections of her own pleasure in his. It was difficult to tell where one began and the other ended. As he joined his body to hers, she cried out, unsure whose enjoyment she was expressing, only intent on experiencing it. They moved and touched, matching pleasure for pleasure. Overwhelmed with sensation, with emotion. Finally they lay still together on her living room floor, the meld easing as they both returned from a place neither had experienced before.

Christine felt Spock move away from her. His hand found hers and he helped her up, moving them to the bedroom. "Come," his mind and voice whispered to her, "come to bed." She let him lead her, watched him turn down the bedcovers then pull her in with him.

He curled himself around her, stroking her gently until she fell asleep. He watched her for some time until finally, exhausted, he followed her into slumber.

**********************************

She awoke to the unaccustomed feeling of hands moving over her body. Opening her eyes she found Spock awake and watching her face as he touched her.

"Is it morning?" she groaned.

"It is," he replied evenly. "And I believe we have to go to work, do we not?"

She rolled over to the alarm clock, muscles protesting as she did. "Spock, we don't have to get up for two more hours."

"Hmmm," he pulled her close, continuing to move his hands over her, "I must have made an error. Curious. But, as we are awake now, perhaps we could find a way to use the time effectively."

His lips found hers, then drifted to her throat. She felt his fingers reaching for the meld. "I suppose we could find something to do." Sensing his amusement, she sent back her own as she pushed him down and covered his lips with hers. She sent him the innocent thought, *Is two hours going to be enough?* In answer he pulled her closer and she lost all interest in the question.

**********************************

They made it to work on time despite her worries. She should have realized that Spock would calculate their time together down to the last second. Yawning at her computer, she brought up some formulas she needed to work on. Gods, I'm tired, she thought, stretching carefully and wincing. And out of shape. It would probably be a lost cause to try to convince Spock they could sleep longer in the morning; he would never accept being late, even occasionally. Oh well, we'll just have to go to bed right after dinner from now on.

"You look like the proverbial Terran feline, my friend." Dotura was standing in the doorway, smiling sardonically. "I don't suppose you are going to spill any lurid details?"

"No." Christine pretended to be immersed in her formulas.

"Well, can you at least assure me that he is..." Dotura leaned in close, whispered, "...fully functional?"

"Dotura!"

"It's strictly for medical purposes!" Dotura laughed, "And to make sure he is treating my friend right. So, is he?"

"Yes. Fully."

"Christine, you are blushing."

"As would you if you had a shred of decency," Christine looked up at her friend in mock anger.

"We both know that I don't," Dotura teased. She became more thoughtful. "Seriously, it is good to see you so happy."

Christine met her gaze just as seriously. "I have everything I ever wanted, Dotura. Work that I love. And now Spock. I don't think I have ever been happier. I'm almost afraid to talk about it for fear I'll jinx it."

Dotura nodded, "I understand. So don't speak of it. Just bring your fully functional...I won't mention that when I see him...Vulcan over to our house tomorrow for dinner. I'm looking forward to this, we can do all those silly 'couple' things that you humans seem so fond of." She gave Chris a quick hug. "I am happy for you, my dear."

"I know." Christine sat happily for a few minutes before turning back to her work.

**********************************

In the months that followed their first night, Christine and Spock began to make a life together. They had little contact during the workdays, but spent their free time with each other, either alone or with friends. Dotura and Zarthakh became frequent dinner partners. McCoy invited them over often, as did Kirk. Spock treated her with courtesy and affection during these times. He was completely the proper Vulcan, and she believed that if her friends had not known that they lived together they would not have suspected that Spock and Christine were a couple. She did not mind his reserve; she knew how strongly he felt about her from their time alone.

Several months after Spock arrived back on Earth, Christine met his protégé, Cadet Saavik. She was severely beautiful in the Vulcan manner and extremely intelligent, but Christine was surprised to find her far more volatile than the normal Vulcan. It was Saavik who told her of her heritage. How Spock had found her on Hellworld, the result of a Romulan-Vulcan mating, and brought her back to Vulcan. She admitted that were it not for him, she would have run away from Vulcan. But Spock's own experiences as a "half-breed" had helped him sooth her when the other Vulcans made her angry or upset. He had encouraged her to continue with her schooling, and sponsored her for Starfleet. She had done extremely well in mastering the Vulcan disciplines, but her Romulan nature still came out occasionally. Christine found her delightful, and Saavik seemed to return her affection, content to share Spock with her. They often included her in their outings when she had a break from her studies.

Another Vulcan accompanied them at times as well. A Vulcan that Christine had a much harder time accepting. Valeris was just a young girl, but she made it clear, whenever Spock was not present, that she found the relationship between Spock and Christine unacceptable. Valeris was in school on Earth to gain what Spock deemed as beneficial early exposure to humans. It was clear to Christine that she worshiped Spock and wanted to follow in his footsteps in Starfleet. It was also clear that as much as she disapproved of Christine, she loathed Saavik. And the feeling appeared to be mutual. One day, after dropping Valeris back at her school, Christine asked Saavik about the girl.

"Valeris?" Saavik thought carefully before she answered. "Valeris represents everything that was unpleasant for me on Vulcan. She is so perfectly logical, and so coldly cruel in her logic. Watch out for her, Christine, she will stop at nothing to get what she wants." When Christine reminded Saavik that Valeris was barely more than a child Saavik interrupted, "That one was never a child. Do not trust her! Ever!"

Spock's parents were also often on Earth--as Vulcan Ambassador, Sarek had residences on both worlds. Christine became very fond of both him and Amanda. She knew that she would have many things in common with Spock's mother, but she worried that Sarek would disapprove of her. But she came to greatly enjoy his company. He enjoyed discussing her research and she liked hearing of some of the problems he dealt with at the embassy. Amanda teased her once, "The father and the son, Christine? Isn't that a little greedy?" Spock still had a difficult time dealing with his father, but seeing her affection for Sarek seemed to let him relax around the man. Knowing she was helping the man she loved repair his relationship with his family added to Christine's happiness.

As for her relationship with Spock, she would never have guessed the depths of intimacy they would achieve or the intensity of his feelings for her. She knew he wanted to make their situation permanent, but he sensed that she needed time to just enjoy their closeness. And she did enjoy it. Making love with Spock was like nothing she had ever experienced. She often teased him that he had ruined her for anyone else. And he had. When he melded with her, mind and body, she experienced levels of pleasure she had not thought possible. It made her wonder just how much more intimacy they could achieve with a full bonding. She knew that soon they would need to discuss the issue.

Work progressed for both Spock and Christine. Spock was often gone on training cruises, now with Uhura, Sulu, and Scotty, who had taken positions at the Academy. McCoy sometimes joined them for these exercises, as did Admiral Kirk. Having his former shipmates with him seemed to bring Spock pleasure. Saavik began her final cadet training and was placed in Spock's class. She was proving to be a brilliant student, and Spock often came home with anecdotes of how she was progressing. Christine finished the project she had been working on and proposed several more to Starfleet medical. She was surprised to receive a message from Starfleet command asking her to attend a meeting on a classified project. The project head was a hero of hers from college, and she was flattered when the noted molecular biologist asked her to join the project. It was the chance of a lifetime but there was just one catch. She would have to leave Earth.

She went home that night distracted by the offer. Spock noticed and insisted they discuss whatever was bothering her. She told him what she could, leaving out most of the details since the project was extremely sensitive. She explained that this was exactly the sort of thing she had wanted to work on when she first went into research. It was the chance to make a difference, not just for a few, but possibly for all life forms. He listened and at the end he told her that it would not affect their relationship if she chose to go away for the year or so it would require her to complete her part of the work.

"You're sure?" she asked him.

"I will wait for you," he assured her, pulling her into his arms. "But I will miss you greatly."

They made love all night, seeming to already feel the absence of each other. And the next day she accepted the offer. Once all the details were arranged, she got her departure notice. She would be leaving in a week.

**********************************

Spock faced Christine as she waited for the project lead to join her for beam up. They did not speak much, having exhausted all possible farewells over the last few nights. He leaned in and said softly, "Try to get some rest during your flight. I worry that I have exhausted you this week. I did not allow you much sleep."

Christine was more than tired, but she would not have traded the past nights with Spock for anything. They would be all she had for some time. "I wouldn't have missed the experience, Spock. I will hold those nights close in my memories while I am gone."

"As will I, t'hy'la." Spock touched her cheek with his hand. She felt the lightest of mental touches and then the thought, *My love for you will endure. Never doubt that.*

The transporter room doors opened and her new boss walked into the room, smiling when she saw the two of them waiting. "Good, you are on time, unlike my son, the creative energy behind this project, who was supposed to meet us here but is running late and will join us at Spacedock." The project head turned to Spock, "I don't believe we've met?"

Spock nodded to her. "I am Captain Spock."

She looked surprised, " The Spock? Christine, you travel in interesting circles. But of course you must have met on the Enterprise?" She seemed lost in thought for a moment, then looked at Christine. "When you are ready, please join me on the pad." She walked to the transporter, leaving Spock and Christine to say their good-byes.

"Live long and prosper, Christine."

She fought back sudden tears as well as the urge to tell the other woman to go on without her. "Peace and long life, Spock."

She mounted the steps onto the pad. Spock watched her, and nodded. "Dr. Chapel, Dr. Marcus, I wish you success."

Then the transporter took her away.

FIN