That Chance We Never Knew We Wanted

by Djinn

Kirk sits watching Chapel talk to the people wishing her well as she prepares to leave his ship and go off to med school. Her party is well attended—as a nurse she's probably taken care of all of them at one time or another. Making physicals less a pain, bringing food to infirm or injured crew, and tending in sickbay to those not well enough to be on bed rest in their quarters.

She'll make a fabulous doctor. He knows that. Knows her better than he expected to, especially after Rand's going away party. He and Christine bonded over that. Well, not so much over Rand leaving as how bad the sex was when they both decided—at different times, of course—to see what they'd been missing.

Christine saunters over to where Kirk's sitting, and there's definitely a whole lot more sashay in her walk than he remembers. He tries to bite back a grin, fails miserably.

"So." She helps herself to some of the food on his plate. "I guess this is it."

"I doubt that it's goodbye."

"And even if it was, we'd always have Janice, right?"

He laughs, louder than he means to. "I think Paris would be preferable."

"That's what happens when you try to improve on a classic." She takes more food.

"Help your damn self." He meets her eyes. "Is Janice all we'll have?"

Everyone seems to have backed off, giving them room. He can tell she is casually checking the proximity of those around them before saying softy, "I might be horrible in bed."

"You might. Hell, I might be, too."

She laughs softly. "So maybe we were the problem, not Janice?"

"Maybe so." He looks down. "If you'd rather give Spock one more try, though..."

"Whoa. Where did that come from?" She frowns. "Would I be propositioning you if I wanted to give him a try?"

"Oh, is that what you're doing?" But he knows it is and feels a huge surge of relief that it is him and not his best friend that she wants—he just needed to hear her say it.

She rolls her eyes and says, "Go get me more food."

"Man, you're bossy." But he gets up and fixes her a plate while she goes back to talking to some crewmen who have just come in.

He walks over, hands the plate to her with a somewhat sarcastic, "My lady," and retreats to his spot.

Bones walks in, talks to Christine for a while, then heads over to Kirk with a pit stop at the bar for a bourbon. "Nice party."

"Umm hmmm."

"Gonna miss her." Bones looks sad the way a boss does, not the way an unrequited lover might—why is Kirk suddenly so interested in how his friends view her, or how she views them?

It's just one night if they do this.

The fact that he's heard rumblings about making Admiral, that there'll be a place back at Command for him, has nothing to do with this.

The fact that she would be nowhere near his chain of command on Earth has nothing to do with this.

The fact that he's grown very, very fond of her has nothing—oh hell, it has everything to do with it. Somewhere along the line, this woman who is his friend became more. He's not sure how. He doesn't think she set out to make this happen any more than he did. They just...click.

"You're awfully quiet. Everything okay in there, Jim?" Bones taps his own head, smiling in the way that says, "Answer wrong and you'll be on my biobed."

"Just thinking about the future."

"Big plans?"

He hasn't told Bones or Spock that he may make admiral. Because he knows what Bones will say to that: "Stay on your damned ship." He's not sure what Spock will say. Spock has been...strange lately. Distant, the way he was when Kirk first took over. Kirk has asked him if he's done anything to offend him, and Spock has told him no.

And yet...there's a wall between them suddenly.

Spock has not shown up at Christine's party. Kirk wonders if she cares.

It seems to take forever for people to say their goodbyes, to wander out. Bones left long ago. Finally, Christine looks pointedly at her gifts.

Jesus. Damned slave driver. If she thinks she's always going to be in the driver's seat, she's going to have to let go of that idea.

Cripes. He's thinking of her in terms of an ongoing thing. Without knowing if she even wants that.

On the other hand he's a very pretty man and hardly ever wrong about these things. And he has a feeling she would not be treating him this way if she didn't want him. So he gets up and gathers up her gifts and walks her to the lift.

"I guess you think we're going to do it, huh?" He lets her go first into the lift, then follows her.

"Yep." She winks at him.

"Spock didn't come to the party."

"Bring him up again and I'll suture your lips together."

"Wow. Way to kill a mood." He laughs. "So you're upset he didn't show?"

"What did I just say?"

"I don't give a damn what you just said. You're not running this show, lady." He laughs as she gives him a look that says, "We'll see about that."

The lift opens and they walk out. She looks over at him. "Since you do seem very concerned about this, I'll answer. No. I couldn't care less. He and I...we're nothing. And he's changed lately. Been more..."

"Distant."

"To you, too?"

He nods. Feeling comfortable telling her something that he hasn't told Bones and is afraid to bring up with Spock.

"I'm sorry. That's unexpected."

"Yeah. I think so, too." He closes his eyes for a moment as she palms open her door. "You were right. Why the hell are we talking about him?"

"Maybe because you need to?" She takes the presents from him and sets them into a waiting packing carton, then pulls him close. "Everything's changing."

"It is." He smiles at the way her hands feel in his hair, the way she's making the hair stand up on the back of his neck—but in a good way, not in a flee-the-scene way. "There's a rumor going around. A friend of mine told me I'll be making admiral. Be stationed at Command then."

Her smile is very sweet. "Are you trying to tell me this may not be just 'so sorry you're leaving' sex?"

"I think that is exactly what I'm trying to tell you."

"Well, until I take you out for a shakedown cruise, I'm not going to tell you if that's happy news or not."

He laughs. "We'll always have Janice. Should we make that into an acronym?"

"WAHJ. Not sure it really works. But yeah, not something we want to say in front of her. Hopefully someday she'll find someone who'll help her improve."

"Or just not hurt her partner so much."

"Right." She kisses him, and he's glad she's kissed him first, does not want to be the aggressor in this.

Only then she licks his lips rather sloppily and he freezes.

She pulls away and starts to giggle. A silly, high-pitched giggle he's never heard from her. "Oh, my God, if you could see your face." She wipes his lips off with her finger, then begins to trace his lips lightly with the same figure. "I couldn't resist."

"Devil." There seems to be a direct link between her finger moving so fleetingly on his lips and Jim Junior's stature. Kirk groans and begins to take her clothes off. "Why the hell did we wait?"

"Because you have a rule. Because we're friends. Because this wasn't what either of us were looking for. Or expecting." She kicks their clothes aside and pulls him to her bed. "It wasn't, right?"

"Sure wasn't." He hovers over her for a moment, just enjoying the moment, then he moves down, and does the best he can to appear as if he has no idea how to give a woman pleasure.

She starts to laugh and he grins. "Good stuff, huh? How's the shakedown cruise going?"

"About to fail."

He surprises her, fingers going places, tongue applied just so, and hears her say, "Oh, grade's going up." A moment later, she says, "And up." Then she abandons words for moans as she writhes underneath him. As he kisses his way back up to her lips, she is smiling the smile of the recently satisfied. "Well, you pass."

"Not so sure about you, though." He lies back with a smile.

She rolls her eyes and says, "Give me a minute to enjoy the afterglow. You're really good at that."

"Mmm hmmm."

With an annoyed-sounding groan, she rouses herself and makes her way down to Jim Junior, who welcomes her by standing tall. "Pretty, pretty," she says and then she can't talk anymore.

And soon neither can he. He can only make unintelligible sounds of pleasure as she does things with her mouth that may be illegal on several planets. When he finishes, his toes are curled, his forehead is sweaty, and he's clutching the bedspread as if it's a lifeline.

"Guess you liked that." She curls in next to him. "I may have lied."

He's not sure he heard her right. He's also not sure he's capable of forming words yet, so he turns to look at her and gives her a puzzled look.

"I have thought of this. With you. For a while now. I thought maybe we'd do this, my last night on your crew."

He kisses her, pulling her onto him. The kiss starts out tender but it ends up scorching. "If the rumors do turn out to be true, I want to see you once I'm on Earth."

"Just see?" She grins, then touches his cheek. "I'd like that. I like you. I mean the sex is great and all, but I really like you."

"I really like you, too." Jim Junior is chiming in that he's pretty damned fond of her as well, so Kirk eases her to her back and pushes into her.

Then he stays perfectly still and asks, "Good for you? Did you come?"

She laughs. "Yeah. Oodles of fun." She begins to clench down on him with muscles she clearly has been working out—a lot.

He starts to thrust, watching her expression change, timing when he reaches between them, when he brings her to the edge and over. Feeling her wriggling against him sets him off, too.

He rolls to the side, pulling her to nestle next to him. He realizes he could love this woman with very little effort.

Her eyes are sleepy and sated, and she leans in, kissing him, murmuring, "I hope the rumors are true, that you are coming to Earth. I want more of this."

"I do, too." He smiles, holding her lightly, thinking about having her. Tonight and later, on Earth, like a normal couple. How long has it been since he had that? Since she has?

She has fallen asleep in his arms. He watches her, content to let her sleep—for a little while. He'll wake her up in a bit. If the rumors aren't true, he wants to get all he can of her.

Even if he's way past the point of getting her out of his system.

FIN