DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the
property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The
story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c)
2013 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
That Chance We Never Had
by Djinn
Kirk
watches Rand, knowing heÕs the reason sheÕs leaving his ship. HeÕs offered her another position, has even
come up with a plan to train her in several different departments—sheÕs
shot down everything he proposed.
She
told him she wants more from him.
She wants too much from him.
She
wants him to break his rule for her.
And when he said he couldnÕt, she had a counter: ÒYou did, when it was just the part of
you that took what he wanted. IÕm
not saying I want that—obviously I donÕt, since I fought that version of
you off. But he was you,
right? ThatÕs what you told
me. So some part of you wants
me. Some part of you chose me.Ó
He
canÕt argue with her logic. That
part of him did choose her. SheÕs a
beautiful woman—but heÕs not allowed to notice.
The
captainÕs married to his ship.
The
captainÕs not allowed to have a life.
What was it he said to Spock?
No beach to walk on?
He
realizes someone is staring at him, feels his hackles
go up the way theyÕve always done.
That Kirk luck has a lot to do with this ability. He turns slowly, casually, as if heÕs
just checking out whoÕs at JaniceÕs going away party.
Chapel
smiles when he finally looks at her.
Then she walks over to his quiet corner where heÕs mostly being left
alone. This is JaniceÕs night. This is a night when the captain can
disappear into the woodwork. HeÕs
made his speech; the crew has given gifts.
SheÕll be off at Starbase Sixteen by morning.
And
heÕll break in a new yeoman. One without her legs, her hair.
Chapel
sidles closer. ÒYou should get her
out of your system.Ó She says it so
softly he is sure no one else heard her—he can barely hear her.
ÒExcuse
me?Ó
ÒFor
both your sakes.Ó She is watching Janice
with a fond look—a sad one, too.
ÒIÕm going to miss her.Ó
ÒWhat
are you doing, Christine?Ó
ÒDo
you really want her last memory of you being close to her to be that other
you?Ó She lifts her eyebrow in a
creditable imitation of Spock. ÒYou
did me a favor—Roger, too—when you got so...creative on your report
when we found him. I feel I owe
you. So IÕm telling you what I
think you should hear. You need to
find out what youÕve been missing.Ó
She gives him a gentle smile, then takes a sip
of her drink.
ÒDonÕt
you have a Vulcan to go harass?Ó
ÒHe
told you? I wondered if he would.Ó
ÒI
wormed it out of him when he was looking at you a little...differently the
other night while we were playing chess.Ó
She
doesnÕt ask if it was different bad or different good. He likes her all the more for that. What Spock admitted was that she had
proclaimed strong feelings for him when the Psi 2000 virus hit. He didnÕt, however, seem particularly
troubled by her interest in him.
Kirk
wonders if he should tell Chapel to go get it out of her system.
She
gives him a strange smile and says, ÒIÕm going to leave you to think, sir.Ó
ÒThanks
for that.Ó
She
looks positively devilish as she nods slightly and heads over to the group
around Janice.
Kirk
helps himself to another drink but makes it half soda water. He doesnÕt want to be drunk while heÕs
thinking about what ChapelÕs said.
He
doesnÕt sleep with his crew.
Janice
wonÕt be his crew after tonight.
How
tightly does he have to hew to his rule?
He
leaves his little corner as the night wears on, joins the group that is around
Janice, then drifts off to talk to others.
But he stays at the party longer than he would usually, and he thinks
Janice is starting to realize it.
She looks at him and her eyes narrow, but when he smiles, she seems to
relax.
ItÕs
not a smile he normally gives her.
The
smile she shoots him back before she turns to another group of well-wishers is not the smile she normally gives him.
Finally,
the crowd has thinned to those who arenÕt there anymore for Janice and she
turns to him. ÒHelp me carry my
stuff back to my quarters?Ó There
is a no lack of ballsiness in her
request—especially since she could easily carry her small haul back
herself.
ÒYou
bet,Ó he says and hurries to grab the presents.
They
walk in silence to the lift, ride it to her deck, and he follows her to the
door of her quarters.
She
turns, seems to be studying him.
ÒWhat are we doing?Ó
ÒThatÕs
up to you.Ó It comes out less suave
than he means it to. Probably because his voice cracks a little.
SheÕs
still his crew.
But
sheÕs leaving in the morning.
ÒWell,
while I decide, come in and put my presents over by my packing cartons.Ó
He
follows her in, sets the items gently on the floor by the cartons already full
of her personal possessions. The
room is strangely bare, no personality left in it,
other than what is provided by the two of them.
He
turns and she has moved closer.
She
licks her lips—a nervous move, he thinks, not one calculated to
titillate—and her voice cracks a little when she asks, ÒDo you want me?Ó
ÒYes.Ó It is the best answer he can give
her. Truth, but
nothing beyond that. ÒThis
isnÕt the start of some—Ó
ÒDo
you think IÕm an idiot? I know itÕs
not the start of anything. ItÕs the
end.Ó
ÒYes. The end.Ó He touches her cheek, and she leans into
his palm. ÒDo you want me?Ó
ÒThatÕs
the dumbest question ever. You know
why IÕm leaving.Ó
He
laughs. ÒBut tonight. Just tonight. Do you want that?Ó
She
nods, then she moves into his arms, and they are kissing the way he has imagined
kissing her.
Except...while
her lips are full, they arenÕt very soft.
He expected kissing her to feel sweeter. When she pulls his clothes off, she sort
of pinches crucial parts of him. And
doesnÕt appear to notice.
She
kisses him again—would it be fair to call her kisses sloppy? And then she moves down his chest to his
nipples and—ouch, holy shit!
ÒJanice,
youÕve done this before, right?Ó
She
stops, moves away from his chest, thank God, and stares at him. ÒOf course. Do you always ask that?Ó She looks confused.
He
realizes that the right answer at this moment is most definitely, ÒYes. I donÕt want to assume.Ó
ÒOh. Gentleman to the end.Ó She laughs and pushes him onto the bed, and
climbs aboard before he expects her to—heÕs lying a bit farther up on the
bed than he should be, his neck is cricked and as she moves, his head hits the
wall. Hard.
SheÕs
exuberant, heÕll give her that. And limber. At times, she seems to lean back so far
heÕs afraid Jim Junior is going to break. He tries to roll her over, but her grip
is like iron. He tries to get her
off quick, finally does, and with relief lets himself go, too.
As
she collapses, as he lies under her, his head is jammed against the wall, the
pillow not doing much to help. He
slowly maneuvers her off him, and inches down until he isnÕt in such an
uncomfortable position.
ÒThat
was wonderful,Ó she says, and her smile is a real one.
She
really thinks it was wonderful.
He
slowly exhales, feels something leaving him, thinks
itÕs any regret he had over what might have been.
Thank
God, heÕs got her out of his system.
ÒSo,Ó
she says, as she plays with Jim Junior, who seems to want to do nothing more
than crawl under a rock and hide.
ÒHow much more fun can I get out of you?Ó
He
gives her a game smile and gets on top before she can mount him again. Then he closes his eyes and tries to
imagine he actually likes what sheÕs doing to him. He thinks of Ruth, Carol, Janice, hell
even Spock. Anything
to get hard.
ItÕs
one hell of a long night.
##
He
sees Chapel in the mess the next day.
Her look is devilish, and she laughs as he puts his tray down at her
table and sits down gingerly.
ÒJan
get off all right?Ó
He
decides to ignore the double entendre.
ÒBeamed off an hour ago.Ó He
studies her, not sure how much to say, and she bursts out laughing, then seems
to realize people are staring at her and goes back to eating.
ÒWhat
the hell, Christine?Ó
ÒSheÕs
just really the worst, isnÕt she?Ó
Chapel meets his eyes; hers are filled with tears—from trying not
to laugh. ÒShe and I did it the
night before last, when we were drinking and I was helping her pack. SheÕs so pretty, and I was sad about her
leaving, and sheÕs been with girls before. I have, too—lots of times—but
IÕve never told her that, fortunately, or IÕd be afraid sheÕd want to do it
again.Ó
He
starts to laugh.
ÒI
thought at first she was just joking around. Or that it was her first time ever.Ó
ÒYep.Ó He nods in an ÒI went down that road,
tooÓ way.
ÒI
tried to get her with Pav last night. Thought they might do well together.Ó
ÒHeÕs not good, either?Ó
ÒI
have no direct experience. But from
what IÕve heard...Ó
ÒReally
wish youÕd succeeded in pairing them up.Ó
He frowns. ÒAnd I thought
you said you owed me one. How was
this paying me back?Ó
ÒYouÕll
never wonder now, will you? If you
and she...?Ó She reaches over and
pats his hand. ÒNo illusions, in
this case, seemed the best thing. I
found that out, thought IÕd share the love.Ó
ÒOr
lack thereof. Were you sore after?Ó
ÒOh
my God. I felt like a vacuum had
gone down on me.Ó
He
nods and feels Jim Junior trying to hide more than he already is at the memory
of JaniceÕs blow job. ÒOur secret, Christine.Ó
ÒOur
secret, sir.Ó She holds her coffee
cup up and he clinks it softly.
ÒMost disappointing night ever.Ó
ÒI
know. I really thought sheÕd be
good.Ó
ÒYou
and me both, Õhon.
You and me both.Ó
FIN