DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the
property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the
creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2020 by Djinn. This story
is Rated R.
Fidelity
By Djinn
You
sit with Spock in the mess
Trying
to get food past your throat
You
want to pay attention to him
To
your friend, who knows you're aching
But
all you can focus on is
That
they're going to take Chris away
Bones
will have to report her injuries
Her
lack of response to treatment
He's
down a doctor and it's been a week
You
know Starfleet has better facilities
But
you won't be there and she'll know
Won't
she? She'll know
Jim?
Sorry. Distracted
Understood
Bones
comes into the mess
And
you hate seeing him
Your
other best friend
Here
to break your heart
Here
to tell you she's being readied for transfer
You
breathe in sharply, loudly enough for
Spock
to turn to you
Jim?
It's time
Your
voice breaks as you say it
You
swallow visibly, but you don't care
If
Spock sees it—if he recognizes the fear
He
knows how you feel and he's
The
only one who's given you hope
After
he melded with Chris, trying to wake her up
Unable
but sure she's still in there
She
just wasn't...reachable yet
Tell me she'll
wake up
Silence
For the love of
God, tell me that
Or I'll never be
able to let her go
Vulcans
don't lie and yet he says she will
She
will wake up and you mustn't lose hope
And
he almost—almost—sounds like
He
actually believes that
And
then Bones is sitting and you're ready
You're
ready to hear that he's tearing her
Away
from you
We had a meeting
Who
had a meeting?
You
let him go on, don't ask stupid questions
Hoping
against hope that a meeting means
He
found a way—any way—to keep
The
woman you love on board
And
he has
Not
a solution that works for long
But
for a few more weeks, they'll cover her shifts
She'll be listed
as recovering, not...unresponsive
She can stay?
She can stay
Spock
studies Bones, finally asks him
A
question you want to throttle him for
But
also know is exactly right
He's
the conscience in this, the voice of reason
Of
protocol and the greater good
Because
you can't be—not about this
Did
Bones ask them to do it—put pressure on them
Out
of affection for her, his deputy, his former nurse, his friend?
It has to be
voluntary, Doctor
It is
You
need to go to her and you leave your tray
Because
they'll take care of it the same way they're
Taking
care of you and her
A
moment later you're in sickbay
In
the quiet, darkened room she lies in
Machines
breathing for her, her skin
Shining
from regen but it looks better than it did
Yesterday
and the day before that
She's
improving—on the outside, anyway
Hi, sweetheart. You
don't have to leave
Bones found a way,
but you need to wake up
You have to come
back to me
There's
no change in her vitals
No
sign she can hear you until
You
take her hand like you have every day
Since
she was hurt and you feel...something
A
squeeze—a pulse, something anyway
So you say it again, closer to her ear,
lower
Husky,
the way she likes your voice when
You're
making love, when she takes you in and
You
forget everything except her
I love you, Chris
You
haven't told her that yet
You
were still new and even though she was
All
you could see, you were both cautious
You'd
both been hurt
By
declarations said too soon
And
you thought you had time
Until
you found out you might not
So you tell her now, over and over
I love you, I love you, I love you
And
each time, you feel it
The
slightest tension, pressure
Her,
there, hearing you
Working
to get back to you
Stubborn—she's
so relentless when
She
wants something, whether it's a billet
On
your ship to look for Roger or the last of the
Cookies
you grabbed from the mess
If
she wants this, she'll fight her way back
Where were we?
You
let go of her hand and sit in the comfy chair
Nurse
Hampton dragged into the room for you
You
reach for the padd you keep by the biobed
As
you settle into the peace of the room
Into
the steady sound of her breathing
The
memory of her fluttering strength
Against
your palm bolsters you
As
you resume reading her headlines
News
from home, anything that's
Happy
and good and funny
Things
that would make her laugh
If
she were awake
Things
that will make her laugh again
When
she finally wakes up
You
stop reading, reach for her hand
I love you
Come back to me
You
feel the answering squeeze, stronger this time
Closing
your eyes, you exhale a week's worth
Of
hell—you're tired, so damned tired
But
she's going to be okay
She
has to be
You
realize you're squeezing her too hard and while
Her
breathing is the same and her eyes stay closed
You
feel...something
And
it makes you smile as if you're
Suddenly
a touch telepath like Spock
You
imagine her reaction to how run-down
You've
let yourself become
The
way her voice would dip, becoming
Husky
in a mix of lust and concern
The
ways her eyes would shine
The
lazy smile—so sure she can distract you
And
always, always right about that
What's it going to
take, Jim, to make you
Stop working and
come to bed?
You, Chris. Only
you