No Such Thing as Goodbye

No Such Thing as Goodbye

by Djinn

This takes place after ST:WoK. This is mostly likely Kirk and Chapel from the Prime Series. They've broken up, have been apart for some time. But Kirk calls Chapel in when McCoy begins to lose it just before the events of STIII. This is after she has seen McCoy, when Kirk is walking her home. They’ve stopped outside her apartment.

Kirk turned to watch Chapel leave and saw that she had turned back also. She was staring at him, a lost look on her face.

He took a step toward her, then another. "There's something else I want to ask you. Not about McCoy."

She waited for him to get to her, never taking her eyes off him.

"The last time I saw you, you were with McNair. Is that serious?"

She slowly shook her head.

"Does he know that," Kirk asked as he moved closer to her.

"I'm not sure." Her expression was serious, calm and steady. But something burned in her eyes. "Do you want to come in?"

"Do you want me to come in?"

"Yes." She held out her hand. "Yes, I do."

"I'm not McNair, Chris. If I come in, it will be serious."

She reached for his hand, grabbed it and pulled him to the door. "You think I don't know that?"

They managed to maintain some sense of decorum on the short elevator ride, and on the longer walk to her apartment. But as soon as the door closed she was kissing him and he was tearing her uniform off and they were pushing each other toward the bedroom.

"I almost lost you," she said, the sound almost a moan, as she pulled his uniform off. "Khan could have killed you."

"He didn't," Kirk said as he pushed her down on the bed, followed her. She tried to pull him to her but he grabbed her arms, dragged them over her head. "Chris...missed you so."

As he kissed her neck, biting softly, then more forcefully, she whispered. "So, I don't have to worry about Carol?"

He chuckled. "We're friends now."

That answer apparently did not satisfy her. "Jim."

He pulled back, studied her face. "No. You don't have to worry about Carol." He let go of her arms, felt them wrap around him, felt her legs pull him down, pull him into her. "God, Chris. I've missed this."

"Love you," she whispered as he moved inside her. "Love you so much. Hated being apart." She kissed his cheek, then nipped at his ear. "Whose stupid idea was that?"

"I believe it was your stupid idea. Goddamn firebrand that you are." He captured her lips, kissed her deeply as he moved faster, harder. He could feel her clenching and the sensation sent him over the edge. He heard someone yelling, and realized he was making the noise.

She was grinning at him as she wrapped her legs around his, holding him inside her. "Don't leave me."

"I'm not going to leave you. I don't ever want to leave you." He tried to move so he wasn't resting on her but she wouldn't let him.

"I'm strong. I want to feel you again. I want to know you're back."

He kissed her. "I'm back. I'm back and I'm not leaving you again."

She shook her head as she finally let him roll them over so that she was resting on him. "Famous last words." She let her head lie on his chest for a moment, then she jerked it back up. "Whats-her-name? Angelica? Does she know that you're not leaving me again?"

He grinned. "It's Antonia."

"Whatever." She was about to say more but his hand moving lower stopped her, turning her words into a groan instead.

"She and I broke up a while ago."

"I'm so sorry," she said, her tone leaving no doubt that she wasn't.

He pushed her back. "Shut up, Chris."

As he kissed her, his hand never stopping, she did shut up. Until she cried out, her words muffled against his lips. He pulled away, let his hand trace the flushed patches on her chest.

She was staring at him. "I love you."

He pulled her to him, felt himself relax for the first time in days. "I thought I'd never hear you say that again."

He heard her exhale in amusement. "Even if I never said it, I'd never stop feeling it. We have something...something that won't go away." She twined her fingers with his. "I'm sorry, Jim. So sorry about Spock."

He closed his eyes, let his breath escape in a slow stream. "He's dead." The words still hurt. "I'm having trouble getting used to saying that. Spock is dead." He swallowed hard. "One of us had to die first. I just always thought it would be me." He looked at her, curious what she was thinking.

She was watching him intently. "He was Vulcan. He should have outlived us all." Her hand tightened on his. "He never stopped loving you either."

"I know." Kirk thought back to their last scene in engineering. Spock's words, his voice so ragged: "I have been and always shall be your friend." So much unsaid, so much love felt...felt forever. "I loved him."

"I know." There was no censure, just gentle understanding in her eyes as he pulled her up to kiss him. She let go of his hand, smoothed back his hair. "How long has it been since you really slept?"

"Too long. Forever." He pulled her down, into the crook of his arm. "We always slept together well."

He could feel her smile against his bare skin. "We always did a lot of things together well. Sleeping was just one of them."

"Why'd we stop doing them?"

She didn't answer for a long moment. Then she said, "Because we were incredibly dumb?"

He smiled. "I'll buy that." He kissed her hair. "We do some things so well...but the fire we have, it burns so hot. Too hot at times I think."

She nodded. "Passion. Out of control."

"Passion." He thought about Antonia, how gentle she had been, how tame. He'd found it comforting. He'd also found it boring. But that was over. He had Chris back, had this fire back. It was scary but it was also so right. He might get burned but he'd risk it. He needed it, needed her, now more than ever. He turned so he was facing her. "Is McCoy going to be okay?"

"I don't know, Jim. I wasn't sugarcoating it for you when I said earlier that I wasn't sure how he was. I truly don't know."

"Okay." He'd have to wait then. As she'd said earlier. Wait and see. He yawned, heard her chuckle softly. "You wore me out, Doctor."

"It's a new therapy, haven't you heard?" She snuggled in closer. "Hold me."

"Forever," he said, his eyes already closing. "And it won't be long enough," he mumbled as he surrendered to sleep--and to her.

FIN