DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the
property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The
story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c)
2014 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
Kismet
by
Djinn
I. The Calm Before the Storm
It
was a glorious fall day: the water was sparkling blue, the breeze blowing cool
and salty off the ocean, the beach almost empty, just a few hardy souls
scattered across the expanse of sand.
Kirk took a deep breath and tried to ignore the fact that the woman he
was with was boring the ever-living shit out of him.
Natalie
was gorgeous. She liked
admirals. She said she liked Jim the
man as well as the guy with all the credits, but Kirk was relatively certain
that if quizzed, Natalie would be hard pressed to come up with her own favorite
things, much less his. She was great
in bed, and after Lori and his fiasco of a marriage, that had been enough. For a while.
Now...now
he was tired of her. Just as he'd grown
tired of the women before her. And
the one before her.
He'd
longed for a beach to walk on and a woman beside him. He should have specified that it be a
woman he actually wanted to be around. And that the beach be during shore leave,
not when he was tied to a desk doing a job he despised. He was stuck on Earth, not roaming the
stars like he should have been—like Bones told him he should be. Damn it all that he was right. Kirk and he weren't talking, first because
Bones had lectured him and been unsupportive of the new job and now because
Kirk didn't want to tell him he'd been right all along.
Natalie
picked up a shell, telling him what it was—it wasn't—and where it
had floated in from—it hadn't.
He had the feeling if he listened to one more word out of her mouth he
might just strangle her—or himself.
Whatever seemed the faster way to some peace.
This was not good.
"Nat,
sweetie, I have to go in to work. Our
long weekend isn't going to be that long."
"Oh." She seemed at a loss—had no man ever
cut and run from her constant stream of inane chatter? Or did every guy do it eventually? "Wait. How do you know you have to go into work? No one's commed
you since we woke up."
Damn—she
was paying attention? Maybe she was
smarter than he thought. "It
was when you were in the bathroom."
She
frowned, clearly not buying the story.
He
pulled out his communicator, flipped it open, and said, "Kirk to
Chapel." Then he whispered
silently, "Please be in a good mood, please be in a good mood."
"Admiral?" Her tone was neutral; he couldn't figure
out what her mood was.
"Wanted
to confirm when our meeting is today.
I'm in La Jolla."
"Lucky
you. I'm in the morgue." Not such a good mood, damn it all. She was finishing up her residency and
they had her working in some pretty odd places to his way of thinking. She was still waiting to hear where her
first assignment would be—he hoped to God it wasn't some Federation
coroner's office.
Natalie
made a face. "Wait, your
meeting is in the morgue?" She
managed to sound bitchy and stupid all at once.
"No,
toots, my meeting with the Admiral is at Starfleet Command. At fifteen hundred. Did you need to push
it back, sir?" Chris was at
her bitchy best; Kirk had to work to hold back a smile.
"No,
fifteen hundred is fine. My
office."
"Aye
aye, sir."
The line went dead.
Chris
was definitely getting sick of being his safety net. She'd been game right after Lori, but as
the months had passed, she was showing less and less enthusiasm for her role in
saving him from his own romantic choices.
"Is
she pretty?" Natalie had her
arms crossed and was glaring at him.
"Because I think your excuse is bullshit. So, is she pretty?"
"She's
a fellow officer. Pretty is
irrelevant."
"So,
she's pretty. If she weren't, you'd
have just said no. It's how guys
are. Even officers." She rolled her eyes. "You know what? I don't care." She turned and strode off, back to the
hotel from the look of it.
Hopefully to pack and get the hell home on her own.
Kirk
sighed and called Chapel back.
"Sorry."
"What
was wrong with this one, Jim?"
She sounded impatient.
"Not
bright enough."
"Well,
maybe if you'd pick your women for their I.Q. and not their cup size..."
He
laughed. "What's got you so
worked up? You've done autopsies
before."
"It's
an old woman who looks like my grandma.
It's giving me the creeps."
She sighed. "And I want
to know where I've been assigned.
Others in my class have their first assignments."
"I'm
sure Harry will make it all better when you get home." He made a face; he hadn't meant his
comment to come out quite so snotty.
"Harrison
and I broke up. I think he wants
someone less...well, less like me. Do
you want to fix him up with your gal?"
"Are
you telling me you're free?"
"I'm
elbow deep in corpse, Jim. Are you
even listening?"
"Not
free right this second. Free...in
theory. And also, more
specifically, say at fifteen hundred?"
"I
didn't think actually being available was required for your bogus
excuses."
"When
are you free?" He sat down on the sand, his feet on the
wet sand; the water flowed over them, up to his knees as a wave came in. "For dinner, dimwit."
"Ohhhh.
Seriously?"
"You're
smart. Motivated. Pretty. And you like me." He drew a "JK + CC" and then
drew a heart around it. Sappy as
hell, but he didn't care, not if she was finally free of her ass of a boyfriend. The water washed up and rubbed the top
half away. "Chris? You still there?"
"I
am. Thanks on the first three. However liking you doesn't mean I want
to sleep with you."
"It
also doesn't mean you don't."
"Your
ego could power the Enterprise,
bucko." There was an odd sound
and she said, "Hang on a second."
He
tried not to picture what she might be doing.
"Jim,
I may be shipping out."
"It's
dinner, Chris. Not a marriage
proposal." There were more
weird sounds and silence from her, so he amused himself by thinking of places
he'd like to take her.
"Are
you prepared to spoil me?" she finally asked. "Harrison left me a
bit...shaky."
"I'm
sorry. Should we wait to have
dinner?" It was the sensitive
thing to ask, but he could tell Jim Junior was about to protest.
"No. I'm hungry and I know you'll amuse
me. And you won't care if I get
maudlin, right?"
"Maudlin
is only fair. You listened to me bitch
about Lori for months."
"Yes,
yes, I did. Fine. I'll be home by seventeen thirty. Pick me up then. In a flitter. I'm not in the mood for one of your
walkabouts."
"Flitter
it is. I'll see you
later." He could feel a happy
smile playing on his lips and thought his eyes were probably shining a lot more
than they had in a long time. She
was free. She'd seemed so serious
about Harrison that he hadn't allowed himself to hope.
But
now: hell, he was going to hope the hell out of this.
Once
he made sure Natalie was good and gone.
##
Kirk
tried not to look at Chris's backside as she stepped into the flitter. She had on a red dress that, while not
cut terribly low, managed to hug every curve she had. He was reaching out before his inner
censor could make him stop.
She
started to laugh. "Please tell
me that's you fondling my butt and not some random passerby."
"Sorry. It just...looks really good in that
dress. New, I take it?"
"The
butt? No, I've had it
forever." She slid to the far
side of the flitter and held her hand out to him with a goofy little
smile. "Ohhhh,
you meant the dress, didn't you?
Silly me."
He
took her hand and tried not to show how much that little connection was
affecting him. Thank God he was in
street clothes and not the new "hide your junk, I dare you" uniforms
Starfleet had made regulation.
Someone must have been drinking heavily when they signed the requisition
forms for those.
She
moved closer to him, leaning in and snaking her arms under his jacket, holding
tightly. "Thank you."
"For
what? You saved me from
Natalie."
"And
you're going to save me from myself."
She looked up at him, her eyes half lidded, her lips only lightly
painted with a dark red.
Oh
hell, he'd already grabbed her ass.
He pulled her to him, slowly, so she could tell him to stop if she
wanted to.
She
apparently did not want to tell him that.
Jim Junior was ready to lead a parade. Her lips were soft on his, warm and then
they opened and—
He
let out a moan that made her giggle.
She pulled away and studied him.
He
stroked her cheek. "I've
wanted you for months. You were
with another guy. A guy, for the
record, that I cannot stand."
"Yes,
you've made that clear, darling."
"Darling" only sounded slightly sarcastic, and he grinned at her. She grinned back and said, "Come
back here," and then they were kissing, and somehow she'd gotten on top of
him, and then the flitter stopped.
"We
have arrived at your destination."
A pause and then it said, "Passengers?"
They
gave it no response other than the sounds of them kissing, and Kirk found
himself wondering if this was yet another computer he could fuck with.
"Passengers,
we have arrived at your destination."
"God,
that thing's annoying," Chris murmured. "Should we just go home?"
He
eased her off his lap, ran through his standard repertoire of mental images
guaranteed to send Jim Junior into hiding.
"Nope. We need to
eat. We need to play, Chris, not
just have sex."
She
smiled and wiped his lips gently.
"You're wearing a little of my lipstick. Damn stuff is supposed to be no
transfer. Paid extra for
that."
"I
don't care. I'll wear it for real
if it means you'll kiss me like that on the way back."
She
started to laugh. "Don't give
me ideas or we'll be doing a makeover in the ladies room."
"Passengers. If you do not specify a new destination
or exit the flitter, your account will be charged for wait time."
"We're
going. We're going." He grabbed her hand and opened the door.
The
flitter took off as soon as he'd shut the door. Maybe it knew his reputation with machines. He grinned at the thought. Then he studied her. "You're a little mussed." He tucked a strand of hair, which she'd
left long and wavy, back where it belonged. "Perfect."
"Is
this why you involved me in every lame date you've had since you left Lori? Because you wanted me?"
"Maybe. I don't know. I know you were there for me, even
though you were with Jerkison."
She
started to laugh.
"Really. Jerkison?"
"I
can call him what I want in my head."
He put his arm around her, turned her toward the entrance, and said,
"We can figure it out at dinner.
I'm starved. I skipped
lunch."
"Too
busy screwing Natalie?"
"Miaow. No, I
was back from the beach by then. I
was too busy choosing my outfit if you must know. I changed about five times. Wanted to impress you."
She
gave him a slow once over. "It
worked. And I feel better now. It only took me three tries to settle on
this as my outfit d'nuit."
"Well, the outfit for this part of the night, anyway. I may rip it off you later."
Her
eyebrow went up in a perfect imitation of Spock's. "You will remove this dress gently,
with kid gloves. It cost me a damn
fortune. Got it, Jim?"
"Fine. My shirt isn't one I'm overly fond of so
you are not similarly restrained.
Rip the buttons off if you want when we're back at my place." He frowned. "Or do you want to go to yours?"
"Jerkison's still there."
"I
thought he left you."
"He
did. Apparently that does not
include actually vacating the premises until his new apartment is ready on
Wednesday. I suggested getting a
hotel and got the grimace of horror.
Damn cheapskate."
Kirk
grinned at yet another Harrison failing, then gave the hostess his name and led
Chris to the bar after being told it would be a ten-minute wait for their
table. "You can stay with me
till Wednesday."
"I
need to get some clothes."
He
grinned. "We could head back
to your place after dinner, get your clothes, and then leave."
She
laughed softly. "And if he's
there...?"
"Oh,
please God, let him be there. Let
him see you with me. I hate
him."
"Did
you hate him before he was with me?"
He
didn't have to think about that. Harrison
had run with Finnegan at the Academy: asshole one and asshole two. "Yeah, he was my nemesis's wingman. He's an ass."
She
waited for the bartender to put down their drinks, then asked, "You
couldn't have warned me?"
"You
and I weren't in each other's lives when you took up with him. I was newly 'in love' with my beloved ex
wife." He saw her grimace and
knew he'd put too much acid on that statement. "By the time I heard you were with
him, you seemed committed to the relationship and happy. Why would I ruin that? Especially since I was so
miserable?" He touched her
cheek. "And I had you...part
of the time. When he was gone. It was nice. I thought nice had to be enough."
She
sipped her wine, studying him.
"I'm going to ask a question that may make me seem really
self-centered. Did you date all
those bimbos so you could be free for me if I broke up with him?"
He
thought about it, saw her smile as he did—she never liked a quick answer
unless they were engaging in some verbal repartee. "I think, at first, it was more
that they seemed to...adore me.
Sort of. They were young and
pretty and—"
"Dumb
as dirt." She took another sip
of her wine, eyes wide as if she hadn't just said that.
"Okay,
most weren't going to win any science fairs, that is true. But at first, it felt good. After Lori. But then it didn't, and it turned into a
game—probably not a very nice one, but I'm not sure I'm all that nice
anymore, to be honest. And the fun
part was you, rescuing me, and our lunches and dinners and drinks when Jerkison was out of town. So by then, yeah, maybe it did turn into
me just biding my time. You've been
getting less enamored with him for a while now."
"But
if I go home with you on our first date, won't I be just like those other women
you don't respect or like."
"No."
He met her eyes, tried to will her to see how he felt about her.
Her
look of concern changed, grew warmer, her smile slow and seductive. "Alrighty
then. Your plan is approved. And if Creepison
is there,"—she smiled charmingly at the name—"then maybe
you should be extra attentive."
He
smirked. "Wouldn't hurt my
feelings."
"Wouldn't
hurt mine either. He already took
care of that."
He
heard his named called and grabbed their drinks, following the hostess to a
table set by the window with a pretty view of a garden. Once they'd been told the specials and
were alone again, he leaned in.
"Did he cheat on you?"
"He says there's no one else.
That he's just..." Her
whole expression changed, and she turned to her menu. "So what's good?"
"He's
what, Chris?"
"He
was bored. I bored him." She swallowed hard. "So, Jim, how do you know I won't
bore you too?"
"Because
I'm not a fucking moron who's intimidated by a woman who may be smarter than I
am—at least in science."
He reached for her hand.
"Because you're too much fun, too quick thinking on your feet when
I need help ditching my ditz of the week, to not be wonderfully creative in bed
and out." He squeezed her
hand. "And because I've known
you for years, and you have never bored me."
"We
didn't spend that much time together before."
"That
was because you had the hots for my best friend. Color me crazy, but I thought I'd let
you and Spock work things out."
She
laughed, bitterly. "Yeah, we
never did that."
"Do
you wish you had? Is he still first
in your heart?"
"He
left us all, Jim. After everything
we'd been through with him—you and Len especially. He just left us. To go to a place that would burn every
part of his humanity—every part of us—out
of him. That's the biggest wake-up
call in the history of wake-up calls.
He is not into me and never will be." She drew her hand away gently. "And to my surprise, my former
captain is a very fun person to be around, and unless I'm remembering
incorrectly, I was just astride him."
"You
are not remembering that wrong."
He let himself relive that happy memory. "You were grinding a little, too."
She
laughed and turned to the menu.
"Seriously, what's good here?"
"The
filet is amazing. The lamb chops
are good. I've been told the frog
legs are good, but eating them is against the religion I don't have."
"Yeah,
me too. Gross and there's so little
meat." She made a face, and he
wasn't sure if it was at the gross part or the effort for no payoff.
And
he didn't care. He was so far gone
that he thought it was the most adorable—and sexy—expression he'd
ever seen.
##
After
dinner and a short walk in the gardens outside the restaurant, Kirk saw a
couple exiting a flitter and grabbed it for Chris and him.
"Destination?" It sounded like the one they'd had
before, but then all flitters sounded like that.
Chris
gave it her address and then leaned back, settling against his outstretched
arm, running her hand up and down his thigh.
"You
know we can't do anything too fun in this flitter." The city was on a big decency kick. Gave the council something to spend
money on.
"Well,
maybe you can't." Her grin was
dangerous as she moved a bit so any in-car surveillance wouldn't catch what she
was doing with her hands.
He
moaned as she unfastened his pants.
"This
car is for transportation purposes only.
Please refrain from other activities until at your destination."
Kirk
laughed as she rolled her eyes and fastened him back up: it was definitely the
same flitter. "Can I kiss
her? Is that on the list of
permitted activities?"
"This
car is for transpo—"
"Fine. We got it. Really." They still managed to steal some kisses
on the quick ride back. As it
pulled up to Chapel's apartment building, she sighed.
"You
okay?"
She
nodded and let him help her out.
"Wait
for us," Kirk told the flitter.
"We'll be about fifteen minutes at the most."
"Affirmative."
She
stopped at the door to the building and swallowed hard.
"If
you want, we can skip your place and just go to a store. We'll buy you new clothes."
She smiled but shook her head.
Taking his hand, she said, "It's my goddamn place. Why am I the one afraid to go in?"
"Afraid?" He stopped her as she reached for the
door. "He didn't hurt you, did
he?"
"Not
that kind of afraid."
He
narrowed his eyes. "You know,
once upon a time I got to pay back Harrison's buddy, but Harrison and I...we've
never had it out. Does he know
you've been spending time with me?"
She
shook her head. "That might
make me interesting in his eyes."
Her mouth grew tighter.
"Chris,
I have an overwhelming need to spend the night making love to you in your bed. How about we get this asshole out of
your place?"
"Really?" She seemed to be having a hard time
fighting a smile.
"Really. Come on." He started to laugh. "No, wait." He ran back down to the flitter.
"Change of plans, my friend. We're
staying here but a friend of ours needs a ride to..." He started to laugh. "Sacramento. It's an 'Operation Sober Friend'
situation." Another of the
decency initiatives.
"Understood. State passenger name and destination in
Sacramento."
"Commander
Harrison Lucas. Is there still a
landfill in town?"
"It
has been closed for some time.
There are no residences near the landfill."
Kirk
took a deep breath. This was bad
and wrong but damn it, it was going to feel good. "New destination. Walnut Creek. 3199 Seville Place." Lori's new address, with the man she'd
hooked up with before she'd left Kirk.
"Location
found."
"He'll
protest. He'll want to stay here
and drink more."
"Operation
Sober Friend parameters are clear.
Deliver intoxicated passenger to address stated by sober
associate."
"You
have a way to measure his blood alcohol?"
"Negative."
Perfect: no way for Harrison to prove he was sober, but damned stupid on the
part of the decency committee or whatever they were calling themselves. "Excellent. He'll be terrible company and for that I
apologize. Make sure Admiral Ciani—it's her house you'll be dropping him off
at—knows she doesn't have to pay for his ride: it's courtesy of Admiral
Kirk." He jogged back to
Chris, trying not to laugh.
"What
did you do?"
"Well,
you know that new 'friends don't let friends wander around the town drunk'
campaign?"
"I
don't think that's quite the way the ads go."
"Details. Anyway, I may have invoked that protocol
with our new flitter friend. I'm sending
Jerkison to Lori's new home."
She
snorted, then slapped her hand over her nose and mouth as if to keep from doing
it again. "Okay, not saying
anything will be the hard part."
"Don't
give it away or he won't get in the flitter."
She
pulled open the door.
"Understood, oh devious one."
He
put his arm around her as they walked to the elevator, kissed her soundly in
the car since they had it to themselves, but kept part of his brain focused on
what was coming.
"You
know, Jim, I really should man up and be the one to send him packing."
"I
know. And normally, I'd say to go
for it. But, Chris, you have no
idea how much I hate this man, and not just for having been with you. Pleeeeeease,
let me?"
The
elevator door opened and she took his hand. "Fine. My gift to you tonight."
"It won't be your only one, toots." He cracked up when she shot him a hard
look. "Trying my he-man
routine out early. What do you
think?"
"If
you were going for slimy private eye, you nailed it." She winked at him, then took a deep
breath before palming her door open.
"Honey,
we're home," Kirk called out in his most sarcastic voice.
She
started to laugh and motioned for him to go first. He left her trying to regain her
composure and strode into the living room, where Harrison was camped out on the
sofa, glass of wine in one hand, vid controller in the other.
"Jim?"
"Commander
Lucas. How unexpected to see you
here. I heard you and Chris were
done."
"We
are." Harrison frowned.
Kirk
had never realized how dumb the man could look. He'd been so busy being terrorized by this
jerk that he hadn't had time to really assess him. "Well, Commander, Chris needs her
apartment back."
"I'm
moving into my new place next week."
"That
won't work for me. See, I'm moving
in here tonight." He gave Harrison
the tight, slightly snotty laugh he'd perfected over five years with annoying
aliens. "You see, as an
Admiral and head of fleet operations, I can commandeer this place for exigent
circumstances."
"Is
there a threat?"
How
the hell did this man make commander?
More importantly, why did Chris date him? They were going to have to talk about
it. Then again, his own
relationship choices had been pretty shitty up to now, so maybe he'd just let
it go.
"There
is a threat. Out in space. Big goddamned machine headed this
way." There, how was that for
vague? Covered about a fifth of the
threats the Enterprise had dealt
with. "Grab some stuff. Get the hell out. Our flitter is waiting for you
downstairs."
Harrison
narrowed his eyes. "Exigent
circumstances?"
Kirk
strode over, grabbed the controller from him, turned off the vid unit with a
lucky press of the biggest button on the thing, and tossed it onto the
couch. "Get out. Now."
Chris
came in, and Kirk thought she was working hard to keep a straight face.
Harrison
frowned at her. "You're with
him now?"
Kirk
moved between them. "Now? Try a few weeks ago. What can I say? You bored the crap out of her, Harry
boy. She traded up. Now"—he kicked Harrison's
feet off the coffee table—"you're in the way."
He
had to give Harrison credit: he put the wineglass down carefully, didn't lob it
at either of them or let it fall. "Chris? You said I could stay?"
"No,
you said you were going to say. I
just hadn't grown enough of a pair to tell you that I didn't like that idea. But now I have. So...get the hell out of my apartment, Jerkison."
Kirk
bit back a laugh.
Harrison,
looking very confused, walked into the back and came out a few minutes later
with a roller bag. He didn't look
at either of them, didn't mutter anything snotty, which almost made Kirk feel
bad for him, until he remembered how Chris had looked when she hadn't wanted to
come up and deal with him.
Chris
took Kirk's hand and led him to the balcony, and they watched as Harrison
walked out of the building and into the waiting flitter. "You realize he could make trouble
for you misusing the sober friend thing."
"Let
him try." He laughed at the
expression Lori would wear if the flitter insisted on her hearing Kirk's
message. "Let them all
try. I'm so sick of anything to do
with my job that the brig would be a welcome diversion." He saw her look change. "I'm not sick of you. You were not included in that."
"You
miss the stars." She pulled
him close and buried her head in his shoulder.
"I
do." He took a shaky breath,
not liking how emotional he suddenly felt.
The stars, his ship, his best friends: all gone.
"And
Decker will be on your ship. Do you
hate him for that?"
"No. Yes."
She
held him tighter. "He's
excited that you recommended him.
He'll do you proud, Jim."
He
felt a surge of jealousy that she was defending Will and forced it down,
smoothing her hair back from her face.
"Forget him. I love
you."
She
smiled sweetly. "I think I
love you, too."
She
only thought so? He tried not to
let any disappointment show; she was just being smart...cautious. "Then what are we doing on this
porch?"
"Well, we're not having sex out here, that's for sure."
He
did feel like they were in a fishbowl with all the tall buildings around them,
most of which were residential.
"We're on the same page, Chris. Let's go inside."
##
He
woke up to her cuddled against him and smiled, shifting and bringing her
closer. She moaned, a sweet sound,
and he kissed her awake, knowing he should let her sleep since she had to be
back at Starfleet Medical early and they had been at it all night, but unable
to leave her alone.
Having
someone he liked was so much nicer than the brain-dead beauties he'd been
bedding the last few months.
She
reached down, found Jim Junior, and giggled sleepily as she took a firmer
hold. "Good morning."
"You
talking to me or to him?"
She
laughed. "Do you care?"
"Good
point. Carry on." He kissed her gently. "And good morning. From both of us."
"I
should probably kiss him, don't you think?"
"I
think that would make him very happy.
And me, too."
She
smiled and pulled him back to kiss very soundly, before slipping away from his
lips and kissing down his body until—oh, holy shit she was good at this. He pulled her up before she could finish
him off, buried himself in her, trying to slow down and make it good for her,
too. Fortunately, she was as
responsive in the morning as she'd been last night—Harrison had thought
she was boring? Moron.
She
came loudly, and he lasted a moment or two longer and then let go, burying his
head in her neck, murmuring, "Chris, Chris."
She
ran her fingers down his back, then up through his hair, her light touch
sending shivers down his spine.
"Good morning, Jim."
He
rolled so he wasn't so heavy on her, bringing her with him, rubbing his head
against her fingers so she'd go back to touching him. "Good morning, Chris. I like waking up with you."
"I
like falling asleep with you."
"Works
out great, then."
She
nodded. "I've got to go into
work."
"I
know. What strange thing are they
having you do today?"
"Your
guess is as good as mine." She
studied him, an odd look on her face.
"Do you know what assignment I'm getting?"
"No. I looked the other day when you said you
still hadn't heard. Nothing was
logged in for you."
She
made an impatient sound.
"It'll
be wonderful. I promise." He kissed her nose. "Because you were top of your class
and you're smart and personable and have the right combination of spunk and
gravitas. Just wait: it'll be
good."
"From
your lips to the assignment gods' ears." She swallowed hard and looked away.
"What?"
"What
if it's a ship? I don't think I
want to leave you."
"If
it's a good ship, you'll have to."
"I
don't have to go. And you could
pull strings. Keep me here."
He
frowned. "You'd do that? You derailed your career for
Korby—wasn't once enough?"
He could tell by the way her eyes lost their sparkle that his answer
hurt her.
"I
thought you'd be pleased? You've
always valued loyalty."
"Sometimes
our loyalty has to be to ourselves."
She
pulled away. "I feel stupid
now. I thought..." She was suddenly scrambling to get out
of the bed.
He
caught her, pulled her back down, and murmured comforting things until she
stopped fighting him. "You
thought what?"
"That
you loved me—you said you loved me." The words came out in a panicked rush.
He
pulled her close, held her almost too tightly. "I do love you, Chris. I'm just...I'm unhappy here and that
makes me honest in a way that isn't always good."
"Yeah,
you're unhappy because you left something you love. Isn't that what I'd be doing if I
shipped out and left you? Or am I
just one of those girls to you? I
don't want to be one of th—"
He
shut her up by kissing her. Deep
almost desperate kisses, the kind he'd never given Natalie or any of the
others. Finally he pulled
away. "I love you. I love that you're willing to consider
staying. I just won't ask you to do
that—it's what Carol did to me.
You know how I resent her for that.
You'll go, and we'll be fine.
Lonely at times but fine."
"Fine
together—you here and me out there—or fine on our own?"
He
kissed the tip of her nose.
"Fine together."
##
"You're
technically on vacation. You should
have stayed in bed." Chris
sipped the coffee they'd stopped at a new coffee place to get.
He'd
indulged her with something fancy.
He'd stuck with a tall black coffee. "I wanted to walk you in."
"Old
fashioned." She smiled up at
him, and her smile grew broader when he pulled her closer and kept his arm
around her.
They'd
stopped at his place for him to do a quick change and now they were almost to
Command grounds. He let go of her
as they started to run into a sea of light blue, grey, white, and the dull mustardish tan he particularly despised. He liked the brighter colors of the old
uniforms, not to mention the more forgiving fit.
She
winked at him and held up the coffee, "Thank you."
"You're
welcome. I like spoiling you."
"I
like having you spoil me."
He
walked with her to the doors of Starfleet Medical, gave her his best,
non-manipulative smile. The one
that meant he was happy and nothing else.
She
grinned back. "Maybe I'll hear
today."
"Maybe
so."
"Okay. Going in now." She turned and hurried
inside.
He
was about to head to his office, thinking he would take the path that went
through the ceremonial rose garden, when he saw Will making a bee-line for
Starfleet Medical. Frowning, he
followed him, keeping back enough that he wouldn't be obvious if Will turned
around.
Was
the man finally going to pick his CMO?
It was one of the last billets not filled. Kirk had given him a suggestion for the
science officer vacancy, but Will had said he had his own ideas for who he
wanted heading sickbay.
Kirk
slowed his pace as he saw Will stop at the reception desk. There was a page: "Doctor Chapel. Doctor Chapel to reception."
Kirk
felt his smile freezing.
Chris? Will was choosing
Chris?
Maybe
for his staff. But not as CMO. But Kirk knew who was assigned to the Enterprise. The rest of the medical billets were
assigned.
Chris
walked out, looking flustered until she saw Will and gave him a smile that Kirk
thought was a little too warm. Will
said something, then something else, and Chris nodded solemnly. Will tipped her face up, a finger under
his chin, then pulled her in for a hug and sort of twirled her around a little.
What
the hell?
Kirk
knew she was Will's friend. That
Roger had known Matt Decker. But
this seemed more than just friendship.
He backed away, out of Medical, and positioned himself near the entrance
to Command he thought Will would probably end up using. He wasn't wrong.
Will
grinned when he saw him.
"Jim."
"Will." His voice was colder than it should be,
so he tried to smile. "What
did you think of Sonak?"
"First
rate. Thank you for the
suggestion."
"You
bet." He narrowed his
eyes. "And CMO...? Doctor M'Benga
would still be my first choice.
Lots of medical experience.
Lots of experience on a ship, my—your ship, even."
Will
smiled, an easy expression.
"I've picked someone who also has experience on our
ship." His grin included Kirk
in a way Kirk didn't think he could have done. "Christine Chapel."
"Chris?"
"You
know her?"
"I'm
seeing her." The statement
came out as some kind of challenge.
"Oh. I didn't realize." Will actually seemed unsure what to
say. "Long distance
relationships...I tried one.
It..." He looked away. "It didn't work."
"Is
this your idea of rallying the troops?
Because your pep talks need some work." Again his tone was way too angry. "Why her?"
"I
feel comfortable with her. She
didn't badger me for it."
"Probably
because it's not the first posting one would think of for her."
"I
don't have to justify my decision to you." Will finally lost some of his good cheer;
his expression was much more stony when he said, "I guess I'll be taking
both your girls, then, huh?"
Kirk
smiled tightly. "She said
yes?"
"Of
course she said yes. What else
would she say? It's the Enterprise, Jim. I don't have to tell you that."
"I'm
sorry. I'm just...surprised. And I guess disappointed. She and I are new. I was...hoping she'd get an assignment
on Earth." He took a deep
breath. "Don't tell her we had
this conversation, all right? She'll
want to surprise me with the news."
"And
I'm sure you don't want her to know how you took the news the first time. Think up a better way to take it when
she tells you, okay? She's an
amazing woman, Jim. She'll be great
at this job."
"Was
she your first choice?"
By
the look on Will's face, he didn't think she was.
"What
happened?"
"You
know how this works. It's
political." Will
shrugged. "She was neck and
neck with my first choice, all right?"
"Fine. Don't worry, I won't tell her she wasn't
your first choice. We can both
pretend this conversation never happened."
"All
right, then." Will grinned a
bit uneasily. "I need to get
back to the ship. Refits are a
bitch."
"I'm
sure they are." He waved him
off then went inside, wondering how long it would take Chris to tell him about the
plum assignment she'd just been given.
##
She
came by at the end of the day, standing nervously in his doorway until he waved
for her to come closer. "I
have the weirdest news. I'm going
to be Will's CMO on the Enterprise."
"Wow. Congratulations." The "wow" sounded genuine but
he completely flubbed the "congratulations" part.
She
studied him. "You don't seem
all that happy for me."
"I
was thinking about what you said this morning. That you'd stay for me. What if I did ask you do that?"
Her
smile faded. "Jim, it's the Enterprise. And you said...I should think of
myself."
"I
did. And that was probably stupid
advice. Turn Will down, Chris. Stay with me."
"Really? You want me to stay?" Her eyes were narrowed, and he knew his
about-face was confusing the hell out of her.
"I
do." He stood and walked from
behind his desk, holding his hand out to her and pulling her closer so he could
kiss her. "I love you."
"I...love
you, too. But...I think you were
right. I think I should put myself
first this time."
"Or
is it that you want to be with Will?
You're...close, right?"
She
frowned. "We're friends. Is that what you mean?"
"What
else could I mean?" He knew
his eyes were harder than they should be.
Hard like Will's dick probably had been when he'd been holding her.
Not
the most productive line of thought.
He tried to put the image of Will holding her out of his mind. He tried and failed.
"I'm
not sure I like the question," she said, her tone edging toward hurt and
angry.
He
invoked one of his masks of good cheer, smiling as he pulled her toward
him. "Then consider it
withdrawn. We'll celebrate your
posting, how's that? Any place you
want, any city you want." He
kissed her as gently as he could, even if he wanted to strip her uniform off, lay
her over his desk, and take her, yelling, "Mine, mine, mine" as he
thrust.
She
finally relaxed in his arms. When
they pulled away from each other, she said, "Nothing fancy. Let's just get a hamburger at that diner
we like. Okay?"
"Whatever
you want."
##
Kirk
hated that he was following Will and Chris as they walked along the grounds of
Starfleet Command. Chris would hate
it even more if she caught him—fortunately, the landscaper had believed in
putting lots of trees and bushes along the curved pathways.
"Jim?"
Shit:
Lori. He turned to face her. "Did you like my present the other
night?"
"Lucas? Really? I know I left you, but did I really
deserve that yahoo ending up at my doorstep?"
"I
thought you did at the time." He
grinned. "Did you let him
in?"
"I
had to call in a private transport company because once invoked that stupid
'keep people sober in our fair city' rule is in effect for twelve hours. He wasn't even drunk. And he could have had antitox with him.
Who doesn't carry that when they drink?"
"Tourists." He grinned, a
bit nastily. "Too bad the
flitters don't have alcohol monitors."
"They
will shortly. The transport
authority got an earful from me."
He
made a face. "So I should
expect a call from them?"
She
rolled her eyes in the way that had driven him nuts at the end of their
marriage. "No, because the old
man needs you. That killing machine
you told Lucas about so you could get into your slut of the hour's pants? It's really coming. Get to Nogura's
office. Now."
As
he nodded, she grabbed his arm.
"We'd be having a different discussion if he didn't need you."
"Understood,
darling."
She
narrowed her eyes. "And why
were you following Will? Are you
that obsessed with his ship?"
He
decided to ignore the question and be thankful that she didn't seem to realize
Chris was the one he was interested in.
"Just out for a stroll."
"Well,
stroll to the old man. I've had all
the Jim Kirk I can take for the day."
He
shot her a snotty smile and gave the "ha-ha-ha" that never failed to
tick off aliens. It seemed to
irritate her as much as it ever did.
Before
she could think of something else cutting to say, he hurried off, making his
way through the now crowded lunchtime halls of Command to get to Nogura's office.
The old man's assistant waved him in with a muttered, "Oh, thank
God. No one could find you,
Admiral."
He
muttered, "Sorry," but wasn't really. Lori had probably been shitting
him. Nogura probably had a hangnail
and wanted Kirk to get a bandage.
Nogura
was standing at the large video screen in his office, watching what appeared to
be an emergency transmission from one of the distant outposts. He looked up at Kirk with a look that
was light years from a hangnail.
"Sir?"
"Sit
down, Jim. We've got a
problem."
II. The Mess After
Kirk
leaned back in the center seat, feeling the vibrations of his ship under
him. Vibrations that felt slightly
different than they used to, but still familiar. Still the best thing in the world.
He
looked over at the second best things in the world. His friends, together again. And Chris. His grin faded a little as he saw the
way Spock was looking at Chris. He'd
been looking at her like that since they'd managed to—could it be called
a defeat of V'ger? Whatever they did, it went away. Kirk sighed. At the cost of Will's life.
It
was why Kirk was in this chair, why he had moved into the captain's quarters
after the quartermaster had packed up Will's things.
Why Nogura had told him, "The ship is yours, Jim." Probably glad to get rid of him,
probably urged on by Lori.
He
looked over at the others. Chris seemed
oblivious to the way Spock was looking at her, but McCoy was watching Spock
with a trace of a grin on his face.
"Spock. A word?" Kirk smiled at McCoy and Chris. "Loiter as long as you like,
Doctors. Can I expect the two of
you will both be up here now or are you going to take turns?" He'd meant it to be a joke, but the
looks he got back weren't amused. McCoy
seemed annoyed and Chris hurt.
"I'm kidding."
"Work
on your delivery, Jim." McCoy
touched Chris's arm. "Come on,
Doctor. You can show me how much
you screwed up my sickbay with your so-called improvements."
Her
face went a little stony, and Kirk was pretty sure that was the very worst
thing to say to the former CMO.
Sometimes McCoy was missing a sensitivity gene.
Spock
was watching her as she followed McCoy to the lift, and Kirk took a deep,
steadying breath.
"She
is most accomplished," Spock murmured.
"Yes,
she is."
Spock
turned. "I regret that I was
not open to what she offered me in the past."
"You
do, huh?" They were talking
very, very softly.
"I
do. Perhaps I will tell her
that. And that I am...open to
possibilities."
Kirk
closed his eyes and prayed for strength.
He had the words, "She's mine," on his lips, figured that was
a way of putting it that Spock, with his Vulcan mindset, would understand, when
Spock murmured, "But I will talk to her later. Now, I wish to speak to you. I tried to say what I felt in
sickbay. How...sorry I am for
leaving."
Kirk
felt his tension start to drain.
Had he been waiting this whole time for Spock to apologize? "If I did anything to make you feel
that you had to go to Gol—expected too much from
you—I didn't mean to."
"There
were many reasons I went there, Jim.
They are complicated and I do not think I would explain them well. Certainly, I failed to make my mother
see why I wanted to pursue the path I did.
She will be most gratified to learn I am back on this ship." He looked toward the lift. "And perhaps not alone."
"Yeah,
about that. You might want to hold
off a bit before you tell her you and Chapel are...an item." At least Spock could give him time to
figure out if his prior claim was still in effect.
Chris
had seemed awfully damned glad to see Spock; she'd practically squeaked his
name out. Kirk had the familiar sense
of being on shaky ground, the feeling of anger and a slight tinge of panic that
had plagued his last days at Command, when he'd actually followed Will and
Chris around. And she'd loved Spock
for...years. Could Kirk compete
with that?
No. This was ridiculous. He had to figure out where they were
going, he and Chris. He stood
up. "Spock, you have the
conn. I have one thing to take care
of before I relax and enjoy my ship."
"As
you wish, Jim." Spock almost
smiled.
"I'm
glad you're back. So, so
glad." Then he skedaddled to
his office and paged Chris.
She
arrived quickly, but she looked wary, not happy. He had planned to pull her into his
arms, kiss her in a way that told her how glad he was that they were together,
that they survived, that everything was good again.
But
her expression grew darker and it made him cross his arms over his chest so he
wouldn't reach out for her.
He
imagined she would look a whole lot happier when Spock talked to her. "Guess you and Spock will have lots
to catch up on now that he's more open to emotions." Oh, shit, had he said that out
loud? And Jesus, could he sound
more needy?
She
frowned. "Spock left us. I haven't forgotten that."
"Not
exactly a rousing 'I'm not interested in him' statement. Especially after your happiness when you
first saw him. Can't fake that kind
of excitement."
She
colored and turned away, her expression one of deep hurt. "Did you call me here to
fight?"
"No. I called you here to give you a
choice."
She
turned back to him, her look wary again.
"The
ship is mine now."
"I
know. I heard the
announcement. The annunciators work
just fine in sickbay."
"What
I mean is...well, it's your call, Chris.
I can let Bones go home, deactivate his reactivation clause."
"Or?"
"Or
you stay as deputy. Bones and Spock
write your eval.
And we can be together."
She
didn't smile the way he expected her to.
Didn't do anything except study him as if he was some exotic new bug
under her scope. "You expect
me to pick the second option, don't you? So you can have everything your way."
He
smiled. "It's a choice. Yours. You'll do what you think best. For you. For us." He smiled, tried to not put any
manipulation into it.
She
didn't smile back. "But there's
a third option, isn't there?"
He
frowned.
"You
keep Len and I'll find a new ship to be CMO on."
His
frown grew deeper.
"What?"
"You
didn't know you'd get the ship. You
took over temporarily."
"Yes. Your point?"
"You
didn't want me. As CMO. It was clear from what Len said when he
was ranting about you calling him back up that you'd gotten his reactivation in
motion before you ever showed up here.
You didn't want me as your CMO.
And you didn't even tell me in person."
"There
was a crisis going on."
"Yes,
yet you still had plenty of time to get an old friend back but not to notify
the woman already on the ship that she was losing her job?" She laughed, a puff of air rather than
actual sound. "When you wanted
to get me away from Harrison—I was like this ship, wasn't I? Another man had me and you couldn't
stand it. It was all about you, not
me."
"I
wanted my ship back because I should never have given her up. You—I never had you, Chris. You're not the ship. It's different." He felt backed into a corner, rubbed his
lips and studied her. "As for
the CMO thing—what do you want me to say? I needed McCoy."
"You
never gave me a chance. Do you even
respect me as a doctor?"
"You
were Will's CMO. If Will were still
here, you'd still be his CMO. I
respect that."
"That's
not an answer."
"Look,
I'll let you think about this, all right?
Take some time."
"Answer
the damn question. Do you respect
me as a doctor?"
"It's
your first posting as one, Chris.
What the hell are you doing on the flagship as CMO?"
Her
eyes got wide. "I can't
believe you just said that."
Another of the bitter air laughs, she was clearly angry as hell. "I'll take option three. And I can find my own next assignment,
sir."
She was gone before he could think of what to say to make it better. Or at least less bad.
##
The
lounge was packed, and Kirk looked but didn't see Chris anywhere. She was ignoring his hails. He bellied up to the bar, next to
McCoy. "Scotch. Neat."
Bones
looked over at him. "Just saw
Chapel in the corridor. She's
pretty ticked off—what did Spock do now?"
Kirk
could feel his jaw clenching and tried to relax. He threw back the drink as soon as the
crewman playing barkeep put it down, then motioned for another. "Wasn't Spock. It was me."
"Oh. Great." McCoy frowned. "Wait. How did you tick her off?" He studied Kirk. "Ohhh. Really? You two? Wouldn't have seen that working very
well."
"Yes,
I've never shown any preference for brainy women, preferably scientists."
"Well,
when you put it like that..." McCoy took a sip of his drink but didn't stop
his study of Kirk.
"Quit
it, Bones. I'm not in the mood to
be dissected."
"And
I wasn't in the mood to be shanghaied.
Guess we don't always get what we want." He rolled his eyes. "How can I help?"
Kirk
didn't want to say, "Leave?
Never show up here in the first place?" because while it might make
Chris happy, it sure wasn't what he wanted.
What
the hell did he want?
"I
didn't pick her, Bones."
"I
thought you meant you two were together."
"Not
for that. For CMO. I picked you, not her." He sighed and took another long sip. "I didn't even give her a
chance. She called me out on not
respecting her. I may have said I
didn't understand why she was assigned CMO of this ship as her first
posting."
"Well,
get in line for that one, my friend.
I've been wondering that and I've heard several of the other doctors
wonder that. Were she and
Decker...?"
"I
don't think so."
"But
you don't know. You're with her and
you don't know that?" McCoy
shook his head. "Jim, my
friend, this is quite a mess."
"That,
I know." He set his drink down
and closed his eyes. "How do I
make it better?"
"Go
talk to her about Decker. Go tell
her the truth—that you're jealous of hell. And I don't know if you realize this,
but Spock was staring at her in a way I've never seen him do."
"Well
aware of that." He turned to
go.
McCoy
grabbed his shoulder. "Jim,
maybe you can't make it better."
"I
love her."
"Wow. Okay. Then try like hell, all right? If I see her, I'll tell her you're
looking for her."
"Thanks. I hope she's not with Spock."
"Would
she be with him? Does she love you?"
"I
think so. But...I've hurt her and
now he's open to her, and she's wanted him for so long. I didn't tell him I was with her. I wanted to get things settled with her
first. He's open, Bones." He could hear the panic in his voice,
was a little stunned at how afraid he felt. V'ger hadn't
made him afraid this way.
McCoy
threw his drink back and said, "These are on him, kid," to the
bartender. The he put his arm
around Kirk's shoulder. "Come
on, you need a wingman for this."
"What? Are you going to divert Spock?"
"I
don't think he's that open,
Jim." McCoy grinned in the way
he always did, the "It's going to be all right" way.
"I've
missed you, Bones."
"Yeah,
tell me that when you've recaptured fair lady's heart and aren't so damn upset."
##
They
found her in the mess hall with Spock.
She had a tray, Spock didn't.
Kirk shot McCoy a pleading look.
"Jim,
you owe me so damn much. Stay back
here. Look...wounded or
something." McCoy walked over,
leaned down, and said something to Chris that made her whip around to look at Kirk. Then McCoy moved away enough to let her
slide out.
"Bless
you, Bones," Kirk murmured.
Spock
started to get up, too, but McCoy hip-butted him back into the booth, then slid
in next to him. His mouthed,
"You really owe me," was crystal clear to Kirk, even from across the
room.
Kirk
heard Spock say a little too loudly, "Doctor, I believe you have had too
much to drink."
Chris
walked up to him. "You're
hurt?" She glanced back at
McCoy and Spock.
"If
you tell me you'd rather be with Spock than me, then I will be." He sighed. "Please don't tell me that."
She
closed her eyes. "This isn't
fair. Len's on your side? Who's on mine, Jim?"
"I
am. I told him. I told him I love you."
Her
eyes got very wide. "You told
him that?" She looked
surprised that he'd do it. Jesus,
what did she think of him?
"Yes
I told him." He took her hand
and dragged her back to the table.
Spock and McCoy both looked up: Spock in surprise, McCoy with more of an
annoyed "What now?" look.
"I
love her," Kirk said really loudly.
Way more loudly than he'd meant to.
Crewmen
three tables away turned around. He
heard Chris laugh, then the sound was cut off, but she squeezed his hand.
Spock
said, "I see. You did not say
this earlier." He looked at
Chris. "I was not aware you
were with him or I would not have initiated pursuit of you."
"That
was pursuit? I had no idea."
Spock
frowned. "I regret I lack
Jim's skills in these matters."
"Don't. He isn't on my list of favorite people right
now." She leaned against
Kirk. "The three of you
exhaust me. You know that,
right?"
"Who's
going to keep us all in line if you leave, Christine?" Bones took the hand Kirk wasn't already
holding. "Jim's
miserable. He's also a great big
idiot. Hear him out."
Kirk
felt a twinge of annoyance; McCoy was making it sound like he hadn't also
voiced some confusion as to why she was CMO.
She
took a deep breath, then asked softly, "Len, do you want me as your
deputy?"
Kirk
shot Bones his best "Please, for the love of God, say 'yes'" look.
McCoy
smiled up at Chris. "Why the
hell wouldn't I want that, Christine?
You were the best nurse I've ever had. You're my friend. We're partners, aren't we? I can't imagine a better deputy."
She
looked at Spock, who seemed like he felt a little left out without one of her
hands to hold. Kirk shot him a
"You are not interested in
her" look but had little hope Spock would read it right.
"Spock?" Her voice was pure seduction—did
she mean her voice to sound that way? "Do you want me?"
Spock
glanced at Kirk. "I believe
that is a moot point."
It
wasn't the best answer Kirk could have imagined, but it was probably the best
answer Spock would give.
McCoy
let go of her. "Git. Our
fearless leader needs you."
"You
heard him. I need you." He realized some of the crew were still
watching. This was not how he
envisioned the night going.
"Come on." He
pulled her out of the mess before they could provide any more drama—or
possibly comedy—for their audience.
##
He
took her to the lounge, not back to his quarters. Thought it would send a better message
to talk in public—to her and to his crew. And maybe to himself.
They
ordered drinks, then he led her to a table that was clearly visible but still
gave them plenty of privacy.
She
seemed to be studying him, so he said, "This table okay?"
"It's
pretty public."
"You're
my girlfriend. Shouldn't it
be?"
She
laughed, and he had the feeling she hadn't meant to but couldn't help it.
He
found himself grinning, too. "You
are my girlfriend—right?"
She
rolled her eyes and nodded, finally sitting down. "I'm really mad at you."
"You
have every right to be. I need to
tell you something. Maybe it'll
explain what I said."
"Okay." She took a sip of her wine, her look
changing to a more wary one.
"The
day you found out you were going to be CMO, our first morning waking up
together, I...I saw Will go into Starfleet Medical and I followed
him." He saw her eyebrows go
up and said quickly, "I didn't know he was coming to talk to you. I just...I'd been keeping track of the
assignments that he'd made for the ship.
The only one left was CMO and I was curious to see if he took my advice
or not. And then...it was
you."
She
was sitting very still.
"I
saw him hug you. He fucking twirled
you around, Chris. It
was...odd. You hadn't said 'I love
you' back the night before. You'd
said you thought you loved me. And
I wondered if maybe Will was the reason why you put it that way."
"You
thought I was with Will?" She
leaned back. "Did you?"
He
gave her the shrug and headshake combination that men had been using for
centuries to try to avoid trouble with their women.
"After
everything I did for you all that time—all those goddamn women, Jim? One guy gives me a fucking hug, and you
think I'm cheating on you?"
He
swallowed hard and tried the shrug-shake again.
"Okay,
some truth from me. That morning,
before we left, I already knew I was in the running. And I knew I wasn't Will's first
choice. Galinda
was, and I have no idea why she didn't take the position. I never thought I was going to get
it. I never even wanted it, not for
my first job, but he was so convincing and he seemed to listen to me. But when I told you that I could refuse
an assignment on a ship, you didn't seem very eager for me to do that. You didn't seem to care if I was on
Earth or not. I felt...I felt like
one of the women I'd helped you ditch.
When Will told me I got it, I was relieved. I could slink away and you'd be
free. But then you told me to turn
it down. I was confused. You confuse me."
"I
confuse myself sometimes, if it's any consolation."
"It's
not." She looked down, seemed
to be searching for answers in her chardonnay. "You're not the first person to
wonder why I got the job. I've
heard it from others. But you
supposedly loved me. I thought...I
wanted to think you valued me as something more than a producer of
orgasms."
"I
do." He let his breath
out. "I don't know if this
will make it better or worse, but if you'd told me you were going to be head of
life sciences on the ship, that would have made more sense to me. I think of you as a scientist, Chris,
not as an M.D. And this whole time
I know you've been an M.D. but that wasn't part of us. Maybe because I was happy when I was
with you and didn't do anything stupid that needed patching up." He met
her eyes. "I thought of Bones
when I thought of my CMO. But I thought of you in a different
way. I want you here, with me, in
whatever capacity you want."
"And
if I told you to send him packing?"
"We
couldn't be together, then. I'd be
your direct supervisor. You could
relieve me."
"Way
to not really answer the question, Jim.
Also, I can relieve you as deputy."
"I
know." He took a deep
breath. Would he really send Bones
packing? He didn't actually think
so. But this wasn't chess, where he
had to commit. This was poker. He only had to make her believe he
would. "Tell me what you
want."
She
stared at him for a long time as he worked like hell to keep his expression the
one that would sell this.
He saw her capitulation before she even said anything, forced his face not to
show a trace of satisfaction.
"Far
be it for me to break up the goddamn dream team." She downed her wine.
"More?" He was up and taking both their glasses
back to the bar before she could tell him whether her comment meant she was
staying on as deputy or she was going to leave them all behind. When he got back to the table, she was standing
at the viewscreen, staring out at the star stream.
She
took her wine and sipped it slowly.
"If I stay here with you, Janice will be mad at me."
He
frowned—she hadn't cared what Janice thought the rest of the time. "She's transferring off. I've already approved her request."
"Ny
might not be too happy, either."
"I
doubt she'll care." He hoped
they weren't going to go through every member of his crew that might have
feelings for him.
She
sighed, the sound one of exhaustion.
"If you're tired of me, I'll leave."
"If
I'm tired of a woman, I generally don't announce to the entire mess hall that I
love her."
She laughed softly. "You did
say that really loudly."
"Wasn't
really thinking."
She
leaned in, her shoulder touching his.
"I'm going to be hurt for a while, Jim."
"I
know. I'm sorry." He leaned against her harder. "I'll include you in all the best
landing parties."
She laughed again, this time a little more heartily. "Yeah? And what else?" She faced him, a one-sided smile playing
at her mouth. "I get to keep
the quarters and the office."
"Really?"
She
nodded.
He
wanted to kiss her so bad.
"They're not that much bigger than the deputy's."
She
gave him the shrug-shake—quick study.
"Fine. I'll tell Bones he's going to be
slumming it."
"I'll
think of more things later. You'll
be making that remark up to me for a while, even if it was just the truth. You really hurt me."
"I
know. I'm sorry." He didn't care who was watching; he reached
out and caressed her cheek.
"I'm sorry that I was..."
"Honest?" She leaned into his hand. "I guess I should be grateful you
are. Will you promise to tell me if
you get tired of me? I don't want
to be another Natalie."
"You
couldn't be her if you tried.
Thankfully." He leaned
against the viewscreen, sipping his scotch, watching
as his crew celebrated not getting killed by V'ger.
She
turned and leaned against the viewscreen too; she was
close enough to him to show they were together without being too overt. "You're home, Jim."
"We
are, Chris. We are." He turned to look at her. "Aren't we?"
She
leaned in, gave him the sweetest kiss she'd ever given him, then pulled
away. "Yes, you great doofus, we are."
Doofus: it wasn't the worst thing she could call
him. He'd take it.
FIN