DISCLAIMER: The M*A*S*H characters are
the property of Twentieth Century Fox, and a bunch of others no doubt. The
story contents are the creation and property of Djinn
and are copyright (c) 2012 by Djinn. This story is
Rated PG-13.
IÕll Be Seeing You
by Djinn
ÒSo,
thatÕs him, huh?Ó Bruce was pacing
the hotel room, making Margaret annoyed before heÕd even opened his mouth.
ÒHave
no idea what youÕre talking about.Ó
She poured herself several fingers of scotch and thought about pretty
little Sally, HawkeyeÕs wife.
His
wife. Sweet. Innocent. Clearly adored him. Margaret realized Bruce had said
something else. ÒWhat?Ó
ÒI
asked you if youÕve had sex with him.Ó
She
decided not to tell her husband the truth: sheÕd had sex with a lot of men, not
just the one teenage first love sheÕd told him about. Bruce was old fashioned. Most of the men she met were old
fashioned.
But
Hawkeye had been different. Hawkeye
hadnÕt been just sex.
Hawkeye
had been the one.
Until
he married Ramona, another innocent girl whoÕd left him once she figured out Hawkeye
couldnÕt be faithful to her. Oh, he
hadnÕt cheated on her with women.
It was the long, slow caress of gin that he liked. Vodka would do, though, or scotch. Anything that had
alcohol as a main ingredient and intoxication as the main result.
Margaret
had cheated on Bruce with the same lovers.
Something else she and Pierce shared.
She
hadnÕt been surprised when Hawkeye had married Sally. But something in her had died when heÕd
once again chosen someone else. And
Bruce had come along and heÕd been handsome—or at least handsome enough.
And strong and commanding.
Or at least a loudmouthed bully. It was easy to get the two mixed up when
you were drunk and looking for a way out of being lonely.
Bruce
stomped over, looming as he liked to do. He had never hit her even though heÕd
threatened to just about every fight.
SheÕd never pushed him far enough for him to actually do it.
ÒI
asked you a question, Margaret.Ó
ÒWhat
was it? I wasnÕt listening.Ó
ÒDo
you love him?Ó
ÒPierce?Ó
He
loomed even more. Clearly angry.
Fists clenched. ÒYes,
Goddamn it. Pierce.Ó
She
smiled up at him, giving him an expression that she knew was horrible in its
cruel humor. ÒWith all my heart.Ó
BruceÕs
fist crashed into her face. She
dropped her Scotch, pushed him away, and stood. She let fly with her own hit, a much
better punch, and he went down to his knees.
She
leaned in, her fingers gripping his hair, pulling his head back. ÒHit me again and I will kill you.Ó
She
could tell by his expression that he believed her.
She
picked up the glass, which had not broken—nice carpet in this hotel Radar
had picked for their reunion—and walked over to the dresser to fix
herself a fresh drink. Staring in
the mirror, she assessed the red mark on her face, could imagine the bruise
sheÕd sport for the rest of the reunion.
Nice. Classy.
ÒIÕm
leaving.Ó Bruce said. He sounded sorry. He sounded angry. He sounded sad.
ÒIÕm
weeping.Ó She didnÕt turn, didnÕt
even look at him in the mirror.
This
had been coming for two years, ever since theyÕd said
ÒI doÓ in front of a justice of the piece in Milwaukee. All theyÕd needed to finally kick them
over the cliff was one man.
Hawkeye
Pierce.
##
ÒWhat
the hell happened here?Ó Hawkeye
gently eased MargaretÕs chin up, looking at the shiner on her cheek.
ÒYou
should see the other guy.Ó
ÒI
did see the other guy. If IÕm not
mistaken, youÕre married to the other guy.Ó The other guy, sporting a much more
severe bruise around his eye, had been walking out of the hotel, suitcase in
hand, when Hawkeye had gone down for breakfast.
ÒNot
for much longer.Ó She jerked away
from his hand. ÒIÕm going to
have to find alternate transportation home.Ó She grinned, a twisted expression. ÒHell, IÕm going to have to find an
alternate home.Ó
ÒYeah,
I saw Bruce was leaving.Ó
Mad
as hell and glaring at Hawkeye like he was the enemy. ÒYouÕre the reason, you know,Ó Bruce had
said to him as heÕd passed. ÒYou
two deserve each other.Ó And then
heÕd stopped and turned. ÒI feel
sorry for Sally. She deserves
better. So the hell
do I.Ó HeÕd turned and
stomped out.
Sally
had been in the tiny gift shop.
SheÕd come out and taken his arm.
ÒWhat did he mean by that?Ó
Hawkeye
had hoped she hadnÕt heard. HeÕd
shrugged. ÒMargaret sure can pick
them. I should tell you about her
boyfriend back at camp. We called
him Ferret Face.Ó
Sally
had frowned. ÒThatÕs not very
nice.Ó SheÕd let go of his arm and
walked into the coffee shop without him.
Margaret
turned away, and Hawkeye murmured, ÒHe said I was the reason.Ó
ÒWhen
arenÕt you the reason?Ó She walked
off, ignoring Sally as she came in from the pool, looking young and tan and
impossibly unspoiled.
ÒWhat
happened to her face?Ó
ÒDunno.Ó
Sally
studied him. ÒYouÕre lying. You do that a lot, donÕt you?Ó She sighed and moved toward the
elevators.
He
watched her, thought about following her up to the room, pulling her into his
arms and making love to her. The
elevator doors opened, but he didnÕt hurry over, just let her go, a strange
look on her face as she watched him until the doors closed again.
Then
he hurried off after Margaret.
##
Margaret
sat on a bench by the lake the hotel was situated on, watching children
play. They screamed and laughed as
they jumped into the water.
She
heard Hawkeye coming down the path.
Knew his steps by heart, even muffled by the rubber on his shoes. He sat down next to her.
ÒSally
seems nice.Ó She turned to look at
him.
He
didnÕt turn, just stared out at the water.
ÒShe is nice.Ó
ÒGreat,
then. Perfect.Ó She folded her arms over her chest, a
defensive move, she knew. As if she
could keep this man from getting to her.
ÒI
donÕt love her.Ó
ÒProbably
shouldnÕt have married her, then.Ó
She saw his jaw tighten. ÒAs
I recall, you said you didnÕt love Ramona either.Ó
His
mouth got even tighter.
ÒYou
marry women you donÕt love, Hawkeye.
Why is that?Ó
ÒI
could ask you the same thing. It
was clear you didnÕt love Bruce.Ó
ÒI
was drunk when I met him. He looked
good. And I was off my
game—IÕd just heard youÕd gotten hitched to the little cheerleader.Ó
ÒRamona
was the cheerleader. Sally was
drill team.Ó
ÒSame
difference.Ó The
popular girls. The girls above reproach. Margaret had never been part of that
clique. No matter how many times
she started over when her parents moved.
ÒWhy
did Bruce hit you?Ó
ÒMaybe
because I hit him first.Ó
ÒNot
your style anymore.Ó
ÒHe
asked me if I love you. He didnÕt
like the answer.Ó
Hawkeye
sighed. ÒWhat are you going to tell
the others?Ó
ÒIÕve
been trying to figure that out.
ThereÕs the ever popular ÔI ran into a doorÕ excuse.Ó She got up,
suddenly unable to stay seated, to stay seated next to him.
He
got up, too, and moved to her side.
ÒWe hear that a lot. As
doctors. We donÕt generally believe
it.Ó
ÒWhy
not the truth, then? Our marriage
has been rocky. We had too much to
drink at dinner last night and had our last big blow out.Ó She turned, could tell he was
surprised. ÒWhy hide it? IÕm tired of lying.Ó
He
was staring at her helplessly. The
way he used to in Korea. The way
she could not resist.
ÒStop
it, Hawkeye. Just stop it. You chose her. You always choose her or someone like
her. You donÕt get to look at me
like that.Ó Resisting the urge to
punch him because heÕd been right: it wasnÕt her style, not anymore anyway, she
turned and walked away from him.
He
didnÕt try to follow her.
##
ÒNot
sure I like that shiner on MargaretÕs face,Ó Potter said as he and Hawkeye
stood at the bar, watching the others talk.
ÒPretty
sure she isnÕt thrilled with it, either.Ó
Hawkeye kept his expression as even as he could. ÒHer husband is a piece of work.Ó
ÒYeah,
so she told me. Our Margaret
usually gives as good as she gets. Wonder what he looked like after the
fight?Ó
Hawkeye
grinned. ÒPretty much like youÕd
expect.Ó At PotterÕs
questioning look, he said, ÒSally and I saw him leaving this morning.Ó
ÒAh.Ó Potter infused a world of meaning into
that short sound.
Hawkeye
decided to ignore it.
ÒSallyÕs
a keeper,Ó Potter said softly.
ÒShe
sure is.Ó
ÒYou
going to?Ó
ÒThatÕs
the plan.Ó Like marriage had kept
him and Ramona together. Like it
had kept Margaret and Bruce together.
Or Margaret and Donald.
Hawkeye looked over to where Margaret was sitting with B.J. and
Peg. She looked beautiful, despite
the bruise, despite everything.
She
always looked beautiful to him.
Sally
sat across from them. She
glowed. So fresh
and vibrant. She sipped her
martini and looked as if she was paying attention to the conversation, but she
was staring at Margaret as if trying to figure out a puzzle.
ÒOh,
son. Why couldnÕt you just go the
easy road this time?Ó
Hawkeye
turned to look at Potter. ÒThe easy
road?Ó
ÒHoulihan Avenue.Ó Potter gave him a gentle smile. ÒYouÕre both so damned stubborn. And every time I see you, itÕs more and
more clear...Ó He
shook his head, shrugged. ÒListen
to me. An old man
going on. IÕm going to rejoin
the party and let you get back to your wife.Ó
Hawkeye
watched him sit down next to Mildred.
Lovely woman. Saucy and spicy and full of love for her husband.
The easy road for Potter, no doubt.
But
when had Margaret ever been the easy road for Hawkeye?
##
Margaret
floated in the pool, enjoying the night air, the moonlight, and the way the
breeze played across her skin.
ÒThe
poolÕs closed.Ó Sally stood at the
side of the pool, dressed in the pretty sundress sheÕd worn to dinner.
ÒYep,
it is.Ó
ÒYou
donÕt care about rules, do you?Ó
Margaret
thought about that. There had been
a time when she did. Unless she
needed to break one to get what she wanted. But maybe that was the essence of not caring about rules? Only following
them when they served your purpose?
ÒItÕs
not that hard a question.Ó
Margaret
studied her. ÒYes, it is.Ó
Sally
kicked off her sandals and sat down, dangling her legs in the water. ÒYou and my husband have a history.Ó
ÒHe
tell you that?Ó
ÒNo. But he says your name in his sleep
sometimes.Ó
ÒDoesnÕt
mean anything. ItÕs just a Korea
thing.Ó
ÒThatÕs
what he said, when I asked him about it the first time I heard him do it.Ó She smiled, but it was a harder smile
than Margaret expected. ÒIÕm not
some stupid girl, you know.Ó
ÒNever
said you were.Ó
ÒYou
look at me like I am.Ó
ÒI
look at everybody that way.Ó
Margaret suddenly, desperately wished for a drink. She paddled to the wall and leaned
against it.
ÒHe
looks at me that way, too, sometimes.Ó
Sally closed her eyes, seemed to be enjoying the breeze. ÒYour husband must have been really mad
at you to hit you that way.Ó
Margaret
decided sheÕd had enough and kicked off from the wall, swimming toward the
steps at the end of the pool.
ÒI
saw him leaving. He said it was
HawkeyeÕs fault.Ó
Margaret
didnÕt stop swimming.
ÒMy
husband doesnÕt love you, Margaret.
Even if he does call your name out at night. YouÕre just some woman he knew in
Korea.Ó
Margaret
stepped out, glad that sheÕd taken care of her body, glad that she had a better
rear end than the beautiful girl who was saying things that might be true.
She
toweled off and then turned to look at Sally. ÒHeÕs your husband, not mine. DonÕt make whatever is wrong between you
two my problem.Ó She saw her words
hit home.
Sally
looked down. ÒYouÕre not very nice.Ó
ÒI
never said I was.Ó She gathered up
her room key and walked off, leaving Sally alone.
##
Hawkeye
stood at MargaretÕs door and debated whether he was going to knock.
ÒDoor
doesnÕt open itself, Pierce.Ó
Margaret pushed past him, a towel wrapped around her shoulders, the rest
of her nicely outlined in a swimsuit.
ÒYour wife is out by the pool.Ó
ÒOh,
perfect.Ó
She
turned to look at him. ÒYouÕre
standing at my door and you say that?
What do you want?Ó
What
did he want?
She
rolled her eyes, unlocked her door, and walked in.
He
caught it before it shut and locked him out.
ÒWow. Look at you. Making a snap decision. Oh wait, thatÕs not out of character for
you.Ó
ÒFor
you, either.Ó
She
went to the dresser, held up a bottle.
ÒYou want some?Ó
ÒNo.Ó
ÒYes,
you do. YouÕre just afraid sheÕll
smell it on your breath.Ó Her smile
was as angry as heÕd ever seen it.
ÒWhat the hell do you want, Pierce?Ó
ÒYou.Ó It was out before he could stop himself.
She
just laughed and turned to the bottle, busying herself with pouring a drink and
downing it quickly before pouring another.
ÒWe both know thatÕs not true,Ó she said, not turning to look at him.
He
walked over, eased the towel off her shoulders, pulled
her close, her back to his chest, his arm across her collarbone. The way heÕd comforted her in Korea.
ÒIf
you think IÕm upset over this, youÕre reading the wrong script.Ó She ducked out of his grip, went to the
window and said, ÒYour pretty little wife is still there. Why donÕt you go join her? I can tell you, they donÕt police the
pool even if it is closed.Ó She
turned to look at him. ÒGo skinnydipping.
Make mad passionate love to her.
IÕll watch from up here.
ItÕll be good for me. That
shot of reality that I probably need.Ó
He
could feel frustration fill him, could tell it was turning into the
self-righteous anger that heÕd used so often in Korea to let off steam. ÒI donÕt know why I came to your room.Ó
ÒI
donÕt know either. YouÕre married to someone else. YouÕre always married to someone
else.Ó She cocked her head, as if
he was some kind of strange creature.
ÒExcept in Korea. And even
then, you didnÕt want me. Not for
long, anyway.Ó
ÒMaybe
youÕre the one with the wrong script.Ó
He turned to go and was nearly beaned by her hairbrush. It hit the door with a smack and he
turned to look at her. ÒVery
mature, Margaret.Ó
She
held up her glass. ÒNo, Pierce,
immature would have been throwing this at you and then having to deal with
broken glass all over my floor. I
took that extra minute to think, to pick something that while it made a
statement, wouldnÕt end up hurting me in the end.Ó
ÒI
never meant to hurt you.Ó
ÒI
never said you did hurt me.Ó
ÒYes,
you damn well did. The words are
there; I know you too well not to hear them.Ó
She
looked like she might throw her drink at him this time but then turned
away. ÒGo back to your wife and
leave me alone.Ó She went into the
bathroom, and he heard the door lock.
He
stood for a moment and then he went back to his room. Sally gave him a searching look when she
came in later, but he smiled and asked her where sheÕd been, and she seemed to
relax.
Once
sheÕd kissed him. Once thereÕd been
no booze on his breath.
Margaret
had not been wrong about that.
##
Margaret
saw Colonel Potter coming toward her, smiled at him as he took the seat
opposite. ÒSeems like old times at
the mess, huh?Ó She raised her
coffee cup to him. ÒOnly the Joe is
better.Ó
He
smiled at her, the same protective smile sheÕd learned to love in Korea. Mildred Potter was a lucky woman.
ÒSo,
your husband gone for good?Ó
Always one to cut to the chase, her Colonel Potter.
ÒYep.Ó
ÒAre
you happy or sad about that?Ó
ÒLittle
bit of both?Ó
ÒUnderstandable. I didnÕt really take to him.Ó
ÒThatÕs
because you think I should be with Pierce.Ó
He
shrugged and gave her a sheepish grin.
ÒHave since forever. You two
have something that doesnÕt come around all that often.Ó
ÒI
know. I think it doesnÕt come
around all that often because itÕs toxic.Ó
He
laughed. ÒI donÕt think so.Ó He studied her face. ÒI donÕt like seeing that shiner on
you. Bruce ever do
that before?Ó
ÒDo
you think IÕd let him hit me and live?Ó
She shook her head. ÒSeeing
me and Pierce together sort of did him in.Ó
ÒYeah,
I donÕt think itÕs sitting real well with Mrs. Pierce either.Ó He shook his head. ÒNice girl. Real sweet. All wrong for him. Same as his first wife.Ó
ÒWell,
he keeps picking them. He must like
them that way.Ó She waved the
waiter over for more coffee, and Potter ordered his breakfast. She waited until the waiter had brought
his coffee, then said, ÒAt any rate, in a few days we
all go home and thatÕll be that.Ó
He
nodded, then met her gaze with a look she couldnÕt
read. ÒA lot can happen between now
and then.Ó
ÒNot
if I donÕt let it.Ó She
frowned. ÒAre you urging me on or
warning me off?Ó
He
leaned back, looked clearly uncomfortable.
ÒIÕm not sure.Ó He took a
deep breath. ÒMildred would kill me
if she knew we were talking about this.
ÔLeave well enough alone, Sherman,Õ is what she would say.Ó
ÒAnd
sheÕd be right.Ó Margaret patted
his hand. ÒHow about you let me
worry about my feelings for Pierce?Ó
ÒThat
would be the sensible thing, wouldnÕt it?Ó
She
nodded and they drank their coffee in peace until their food came.
##
Hawkeye
watched Sally move angrily around the room and couldnÕt figure what he had done
to set her off. SheÕs been like
this all day, terse on the group outing, short with him at dinner. She slammed her book into the bedside
drawer and then glared at him.
ÒUmmm, at the risk of making you even more mad, what did I
do thatÕs got you so upset?Ó
ÒYou
really donÕt know?Ó
He
shook his head.
ÒYou
remember what you dreamed about last night?Ó
ÒI
usually donÕt.Ó Thank God. His dreams in Korea had been doozies.
ÒIs
that another lie?Ó She looked ready
to explode.
ÒNo,
itÕs not. I donÕt tend to lie to
you, Sally. You may not believe it,
but itÕs true.Ó
ÒExcept
about her. You were lovers. Why wonÕt you just admit it? You donÕt call out BJÕs name in your
sleep. You donÕt murmur CharlesÕ name.
Or the ColonelÕs. Hawkeye, you donÕt even call out for any
other women. Just her. Always just her.Ó
He
shrugged, unsure what to tell her.
ÒIÕm not doing it on purpose.Ó
ÒI
know that. Jeez, how stupid do you
think I am?Ó She sat down in the
desk chair, slumped as if she was defeated. ÒDo you love her?Ó
ÒSally,
I married you. I love you.Ó
ÒThose
are nice things to say but they do not answer my question.Ó
He
sighed, ÒSheÕs not in my life and you—Ò
ÒNo. Just answer it. Yes or no. Do you love her?Ó
He
could feel the frustration at being pushed into a corner rising into true anger. He pushed himself off the bed and began
to pace. ÒMaybe you should ask
yourself why this is so important to you?
Maybe you should ask yourself why you canÕt
just be happy? Why are you trying
to ruin what we have?Ó
She
looked at him, her expression utterly stricken. ÒIt was such a simple question,
Hawkeye. All you had to say was
no. Even if it was a lie.Ó She looked down and he barely heard her
say, ÒEspecially if it was a lie.Ó
He
wasnÕt sure what to say.
She
stood up slowly. ÒSheÕs not
even that pretty. Rough, I
think. Hard, my mom would have
called her. SheÕs not pretty and
she drinks too much. And I imagine
sheÕs great in bed, right? Does all
those things you always want me to do?Ó
He
looked away.
ÒThings
I donÕt even like to do. Not
because theyÕre dirty but because somehow I always know you arenÕt thinking of
me when I do them.Ó
ÒThatÕs
not true.Ó But it was. Not always,
but some of the time. Especially
once the initial rush of being with Sally had worn off. Once heÕd had time to miss Margaret
again.
And
he always did miss her. No matter
who he was with.
ÒI
donÕt know what to do,Ó Sally said, sitting down on the bed, staring at the
floor. She wasnÕt crying, wasnÕt
moving at all. ÒI love you. I married you because I love you. But if you donÕt love me—or if you
do but you love her more—than what kind of marriage is this?Ó
ÒA
good one,Ó he said, but by the way she smiled, he could tell heÕd taken too
long to answer.
ÒSheÕs
alone in her room. Go see her. Get her out of your system.Ó
He
shook his head.
ÒWhy
not? Might be what we need. You realizing that IÕm what you want.Ó
ÒShe
wonÕt have me. Not that way.Ó He met her eyes,
saw the hurt reflected back.
ÒYouÕve
seen her? Alone? In her room?Ó
ÒIt
wasnÕt like that.Ó
ÒWhat
it was like, Mister Experienced?
What was it like seeing your lover in her room with her husband so
recently gone? What was it like
knowing you have a wife who loves you and would never, ever do anything like that
to you?Ó
ÒYou
donÕt understand. What she and I
have. Korea...Ó
ÒThatÕs
your answer for everything, Hawkeye.
Korea. It made you sad. It made you quiet. It made you drink. It made you...incapable of loving
anyone. Except a woman who by all
appearances is as screwed up as you are.Ó
He
wasnÕt sure what to say, so he settled for saying nothing.
Sally
grabbed her room key and stormed out.
He
knew exactly where she was headed.
He called Margaret and gave her a warning.
She
didnÕt sound surprised.
##
Margaret
waited by the door for the knock that would mean a conversation she didnÕt want
to have.
It
came, but twenty minutes after sheÕd gotten the call from Hawkeye. She opened the door, realized the delay
had been because Sally had been in the bar.
ÒLiquid
courage?Ó She let the woman in.
ÒYou
drink. He drinks. I wanted to see if it helped me
understand you?Ó
ÒDoes
it?Ó
ÒNo. I just feel sick.Ó She sat on the bed. ÒWhat is it you have, anyway? YouÕre not that pretty.Ó
ÒYour
approach is so winning.Ó
ÒOh,
shut up. My husband is in love with
you. I have the right to be mean.Ó
Margaret
smiled tightly. ÒI suppose
you do.Ó She poured herself a fresh
drink. ÒHeÕs married to you,
Sally. He had many opportunities to
be with me when he was single and he never, ever took them. So...get over this. He thinks he loves me, but itÕs not
real. ItÕs just lust or the Korea
connection. I donÕt know.Ó
ÒYou
want him. Why are you being nice?Ó
ÒBecause
I sort of like you. And if you
leave him, he wonÕt come to me. Oh,
he might for a night or two. But
then heÕll find another fresh, innocent girl to destroy.Ó
Sally
nodded. ÒHeÕs not a nice man.Ó
ÒNo. HeÕs not.Ó She sat down in the desk chair. ÒIÕm sorry. For what itÕs worth. I never intended for this to
happen. ItÕs just...Ó
ÒChemistry. You two have it. Your husband could see it. I can see it. Hell, I bet everyone can see it.Ó
ÒMaybe.Ó
ÒNo. Definitely.Ó She stood up. ÒTeach me. What is it you do that he likes so much? What is it you have that he wants?Ó
ÒSally,
youÕre drunk. IÕm going to walk you
back to your room.Ó
ÒWhy? So you can see him?Ó
Margaret
looked away. The thought had
crossed her mind but mostly she didnÕt want Sally wandering around the hotel
looking for men to practice things she thought Margaret did to her
husband. ÒCome on.Ó She took SallyÕs arm and the other woman
didnÕt resist.
ÒI
wish I could really hate you. But I
donÕt. I think youÕre probably a
nice woman.Ó
ÒI
am. Just...Ó
ÒJust
not when heÕs involved?Ó
ÒI
guess.Ó The elevator took forever
and Sally was getting heavier as the drinks sheÕd had took their toll. By the time Margaret got her to her
room, she was nearly out.
Hawkeye
opened on the first knock. ÒYou got
her drunk?Ó
ÒNo,
I didnÕt get her drunk. She got
herself drunk. At the bar, not on
my booze.Ó
He
took Sally from her and settled her on the bed. ÒThank you for bringing her back.Ó
ÒHey,
I didnÕt want her throwing up in my bathroom.Ó
His
eyes grew very soft. ÒThatÕs not
why you did it.Ó
She
met his eyes, couldnÕt look away.
Finally, she said, ÒNo, itÕs not,Ó and spun on her heel and fled.
##
Hawkeye
sat by the bed, watching Sally sleep.
HeÕd woken with the sun, had spent the time thinking.
His
wife was a beautiful woman, even after a fitful sleep. More beautiful than
Margaret.
Why
couldnÕt he love her the way he loved Margaret?
And if he loved Margaret that way, why wasnÕt he with her?
ÒGood
morning,Ó Sally said. She looked
remarkably alert for someone who should be hung over.
ÒMorning.Ó
ÒShe
brought me here.Ó
He
nodded.
ÒShe
loves you.Ó
ÒDoes
she?Ó
Sally
rolled to her side. ÒYou know she
does.Ó Her voice was very soft, as
if all the fight and anger had gone out of her. ÒWhat are we going to do?Ó
ÒGo
home.Ó
ÒJust
like that? EverythingÕs fine again?Ó
He
nodded. ÒIÕve been thinking.Ó
ÒSo
I see. Deciding for both of
us. Figuring out how to run away from
her again.Ó
ÒThatÕs
not—Ò
ÒDonÕt
tell me what itÕs not. I saw her
last night. I saw how much youÕve
hurt her. And she loves you
anyway. And youÕre hurting me and I
love you anyway. Why do you get to
be loved when youÕre such a jerk?Ó
It
was a good question. He didnÕt have
an answer for her.
She
stood up. She wasnÕt the least bit
wobbly. He frowned.
ÒI
wasnÕt drunk last night. I just
went to the bar and had a few sips so IÕd smell like I was, and itÕs what the
two of you would do, isnÕt it?
Drink before a hard thing?Ó
He
looked down.
ÒIÕve
been thinking, too. Last
night. I wasnÕt really asleep,
either. Well, a little at the
end.Ó She smiled gently. ÒI want to be loved, Hawkeye.Ó
ÒI
do love you.Ó
ÒBut
I donÕt want to know you love someone else. And I do know. So this wonÕt work. Ever.Ó
ÒWe
go home, Sally. We go home and we
start a family the way youÕve wanted to and we forget this ever happened.Ó
ÒUntil
the next reunion, you mean? Or do
you intend to not come to these anymore?
You love these people, Hawkeye.
Not just her, all of them.Ó
She smiled tightly. ÒOr did
you plan to come alone? Have your
cake and eat it too?Ó
He
rubbed his eyes and leaned back in the chair.
ÒI
want to be the only woman the man in my life loves. And you canÕt ever give me that.Ó She took a deep breath. ÒI guess IÕm going to leave you.Ó
ÒYou
guess?Ó
ÒYeah,
I guess. This isnÕt how a marriage
should end. I think Margaret had a
better ending. All
passion and anger. This is
so...bloodless.Ó
ÒYou
could hit me.Ó
She
laughed and held her hand out to him.
ÒBut I donÕt do that. ThatÕs
why you married me, isnÕt it?
Because IÕm nothing like her?Ó
He
gave up and nodded.
ÒAnd
you love her?Ó
He
nodded again.
ÒAnd
you guess this marriage is over, too?Ó
ÒI
guess it is.Ó
She
got up, dressed quickly, and began to pack. ÒIÕm going to go home. I want you to stay away a couple
more days, all right? Give me
time to get out of the house. If I
need to IÕll send someone for the rest of my things. IÕll even explain to your father.Ó
His
father would need no explanation.
His father had told him not to marry Sally. Not that he didnÕt
like her, but he thought she deserved better. HeÕd always known that Hawkeye loved
Margaret. HeÕd never understood why
she wasnÕt in their lives.
ÒYouÕre
much better than I deserve,Ó he said softly.
ÒI
know.Ó She walked over, lifted up
his chin. ÒThe sad thing is: I
think she is, too.Ó
##
Margaret
watched Hawkeye come into the coffee shop.
BJ waved him over and he took a seat next to her, smiling at the rest of
them then turning to look at her.
ÒShe
that hung over?Ó
ÒNo,
sheÕs that gone.Ó
ÒGone
as in...?Ó
ÒAs
in leaving me. Our marriage is
over.Ó He took a deep breath then
turned to the others as if he hadnÕt just dropped the bombshell of all
bombshells.
She
wasnÕt sure what to think, what to hope—or not hope. Hope was stupid. Hope was for pathetic people who never
learned a damn thing in their—
His
fingers twined with hers under the table.
He gave her hand a slow squeeze.
Hope
maybe was in the vicinity for once?
She squeezed his hand back.
Hated herself a little bit for doing it, but couldnÕt have stopped
herself even if sheÕd wanted to.
Colonel
Potter looked over at them, then asked Pierce softly, ÒWhereÕs Sally?Ó
ÒChecking
out.Ó
ÒOf
the hotel?Ó
ÒAmong
other things.Ó
ÒHmmm.Ó Potter looked at Margaret, smiled
gently. ÒHmmm.Ó
ÒIÕm
going to be sticking around here for a couple more days,Ó Hawkeye said, ÒCould
use a vacation. Cleared it with work—they
said yes so fast, they must think I need one too.Ó He smiled tightly.
ÒBruce
booked us in longer, too.Ó She
looked down.
ÒWell,
thatÕs working out just dandy, isnÕt it?Ó
There was only a mild trace of sarcasm in PotterÕs voice. He mostly sounded happy.
ÒSomething
we should know, Hawk?Ó BJ looked
toward them with a confused expression.
ÒIÕll
tell you later,Ó he said, and his hand tightened on hers, almost unconsciously,
she thought.
Potter
was staring at her and she gave him a smile. He smiled back, and she thought he was
happy for her.
She
also thought he looked a little bit worried.
##
People
started saying goodbye after breakfast, heading home, their expressions
sad.
Hawkeye
found BJ at the front desk. ÒCheck
out time, huh?Ó
BJ
nodded, then turned and smiled gently.
ÒLook, this is none of my business, and if IÕm misreading what I think
IÕm seeing, then you tell me. But
if you break MargaretÕs heart this time, IÕll hunt you down.Ó
Hawkeye
laughed softly. ÒYouÕd have good reason
to. How many chances does a man
get?Ó He looked down. ÒSally was a nice girl. I hurt her, too.Ó
ÒI
know. So, no more
nice girls who canÕt replace Margaret. And no hurting
Margaret. Got it?Ó
ÒGot
it.Ó
ÒAnd,
Hawk, for GodÕs sake be happy. You
two deserve it.Ó BJ pulled him into
a tight hug. ÒCome out and visit us
once you get settled. Peg likes
Margaret a lot.Ó
Hawkeye
nodded. ÒIf we get settled.Ó
ÒOkay,
wrong word for you two. Once the
dust dies down some. HowÕs that?Ó
ÒBetter. I think.Ó
He
saw Margaret giving Colonel Potter a huge hug, then
giving Mildred just as big an embrace.
He walked over, smiled at them both. ÒTill next time.Ó
ÒYou
bet, son.Ó Potter pulled him into a
quick hug. ÒTake good care of her
or youÕll answer to me. And if it
makes you feel better, I told her the same thing.Ó
Hawkeye
laughed. ÒIt does, actually. I hate being the bad guy.Ó
ÒI
know you do. ItÕs part of your
charm.Ó
Hawkeye
grinned, then turned to Mildred.
ÒMildred, my love, this man is one lucky devil.Ó
ÒOh,
you rascal.Ó She gave him a kiss on
the cheek. ÒCome visit us
sometime. Missouri is lovely in the
spring.Ó
ÒMissouri
is lovely any season,Ó Potter said, his voice gruff. ÒTake care, you two.Ó
And
then it was just them. Hawkeye looked down. ÒSally checked us out of the room and
theyÕve booked it—Ó
ÒI
have mine for two more days. You
can stay with me.Ó She gave him a
stern look. ÒYou can sleep in the
bathtub.Ó
ÒWhatever
works for you.Ó
Her
stern look fell away and she looked slightly terrified.
ÒMargaret,
itÕs all right. ItÕs going to be
all right.Ó
ÒI
broke up your marriage.Ó
ÒWell,
I broke up yours, so it seems only fair.Ó
She
laughed but not very hard. ÒWeÕre a
mess.Ó
ÒCome
on.Ó He took her hand, led her to
the elevators. ÒI want to go
swimming in the lake.Ó He went into
the room heÕd shared with Sally, could still smell a trace of her perfume in
the air. He grabbed his bag and
followed Margaret to her room.
She went into the bathroom to change, then let
him use it.
It
was charming, this sudden modesty, especially since there was no part of her he
hadnÕt seen and vice versa.
But
they were starting over. This was
the first day in a brand new way of being.
Not the Margaret of his past, but the Margaret of his future. Of his present.
He
turned her and backed up so he could admire her. ÒStill the finest derriere in the
world.Ó
She
was smiling as she turned around.
ÒYou did always seem captivated by it.Ó
ÒAmong
other things.Ó He looked away. ÒIÕm sorry. IÕm sorry for all—Ó
She
lay her fingers on his lips. ÒShut up, Pierce. ItÕs in the past. Do it again, though,
and thereÕll be hell to pay.Ó
ÒThatÕs
the Major Houlihan I know and love.Ó
She
looked away. He waited until she
looked back to say, ÒI do love you, Margaret,Ó and then he kissed her gently.
ÒI
love you, too,Ó she said as they pulled away. ÒSo weÕre not just going to fall into
bed?Ó
ÒNo. WeÕre going to go swimming. And then weÕre going to have lunch at the
burger stand and share a milkshake.Ó
He could feel his grin growing devilish. ÒAnd then weÕre going to fall into
bed. And I may not let you out
until itÕs time to check out.Ó
ÒAnd
then what?Ó
ÒCan
you come to Crabapple Cove?Ó
ÒWell,
seeing as I donÕt have a place to live anymore, itÕs definitely an option. I imagine Bruce has burned all my
stuff.Ó
ÒWas
there anything you wanted to get from your house? IÕll go with you.Ó He didnÕt relish the thought of facing
her husband, but heÕd do it—the man would not be hitting her again.
She
seemed to think about it, then she shook her
head.
ÒEverything—everyone—that I care about, was here this
morning.Ó She took a deep
breath. ÒI probably wonÕt get much
of a reference from work, though, if I donÕt give a decent amount of notice.Ó
ÒWell,
fortunately, I know the chief of surgery at the hospital I work at.Ó
ÒYou
do, huh?Ó Her smile told him
she knew he was talking about himself.
ÒYep. Nice guy. Or can be. If heÕs in the right
mood. Kind of a jerk otherwise. Never knows a good thing when he sees
it.Ó
She
smiled. ÒHopefully thatÕs
changing?Ó
ÒIt
is. Finally.Ó
She
didnÕt look convinced.
He
didnÕt blame her.
FIN