DISCLAIMER: The Buffy the Vampire Slayer characters are the property of Mutant Enemy, Joss Whedon, and Fox Studios. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2002 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
Fate
by Djinn
"We've saved the
world...again. Now go to sleep," Buffy ordered as she closed the door to
Dawn's room. She let her shoulders sag and turned to her own room, trying to
not see the door to her mother's room...to Willow and Tara's room.
First her mother. Now Tara. God,
what had happened?
"Willow," she
whispered. Her friend couldn't hear her. Was out of range, somewhere safe with
Giles where she could heal...atone. But could she atone? Really?
Buffy tried not to think of a
forest, of ruined meat hanging skinless from a crosstie. Of Warren. That
bastard. Had he deserved it? She didn't doubt he was twisted. He'd just grown
darker and darker, preying on the women who loved him, then who didn't love
him, then who barely knew him. Willow was his last victim.
His victim. She couldn't be
his torturer...his killer.
But she was. Buffy closed her
eyes and shook her head, trying to dispel the memory. Willow was a killer.
Willow was Willow. Sweet,
innocent. Always cheerful. The dependable one. Willow.
"Stupid, mousy
Willow." Buffy tried not to hear the taunting voice that Willow had used
on her. Over and over. It had hurt. Really hurt. Willow's voice. It had
reminded her of something.
Buffy sat heavily on her bed,
contemplated taking her clothes off then decided she was too tired. The dirt
would wash off her clothes. And the sheets. It wouldn't be the first time she'd
woken up in grave dirt.
Willow had seen to that.
No, she'd just been trying to
help. She always wanted to help.
What had Willow's voice
reminded her of? Buffy thought about that as she let her head sink into her
pillow. So soft. So clean.
"Never be clean again,"
Willow had muttered, as Giles had gently led her away. Dirty hands and Buffy
knew it was all her fault ultimately. If she'd left Willow out of it, out of
the slaying and the nightmares, then her friend wouldn't have turned to magic,
wouldn't have turned evil. Willow would have stayed innocent. Buffy knew there
was something wrong with her logic but ran out of energy before she could
figure it out. She let go of the thought as sleep took her away.
To a warm and familiar place.
Safe and light and free from the pain she had carried since she'd been ripped
away. But what was she doing here?
"I needed to talk to
you."
Buffy turned. "Tara!"
She ran to her, embraced her. "You're okay."
Tara smiled gently. "I'm
dead, Buffy."
Buffy frowned. "But
you're here, and I'm here, and if you're dead, then I'm..."
Tara shook her head. "You're
dreaming. That's all. I'm at home in your dreams."
Buffy turned away without
answering. She couldn't let Tara know what Willow had done. She had to hide
that from her.
"I already know." Tara
touched Buffy's shoulder. "I know everything."
"It's my fault."
"How is it your
fault?"
"I came to Sunnydale, I
involved her."
"You had to go to Sunnydale."
"But I didn't have to
involve her. I could have left her alone. She'd have been hurt but it would've
been okay in the long run. Better."
"You would have died
without her."
"But look at what I made
her! Tara, she killed Warren."
"I know." Tara's
smile was full of sympathy.
"She tortured him, Tara.
She pulled his skin off and left him hanging alive just long enough for us all
to see. She wanted us to see."
"Yes, she did. Bored
now," Tara whispered.
"What?" Buffy
realized she'd heard that before. Where?
"It was her
destiny," Tara murmured. "You can't change what's meant to be."
"You think it was her
destiny to kill Warren."
Tara shook her head. "Without
you it was her destiny to be evil."
"Willow didn't have to
be evil. That's ridiculous."
"Think about it, Buffy. She
would have been at the Bronze, with Jesse and Xander, that night when you first
ran into Luke and Darla. If you'd walked away from her to keep her out of
harm's way then you wouldn't have noticed that she'd left with that vampire. She'd
have been turned that night. The vampire you met when Anya's spell backfired,
that thing was Willow's destiny."
"I don't believe
that."
"It's true. But because
of you, she's less evil than she would have been."
"Because of me and my
choice to involve her so I wasn't alone? She's slightly less evil because I
made a selfish choice?"
A new voice sounded. "No.
Because I made a wish."
Buffy didn't want to turn
around. The last time she'd heard the voice had been in the asylum. It wasn't
real then. Could it be real now? "Mom?"
She felt warm hands on her
shoulder, turning her gently. "Buffy."
"Mom!" There was
only this moment, with a warm hug and a feeling of safety and love that had
been missing ever since she'd walked through her front door and found her
mother dead. "Mommy," she said as she buried her face in Joyce's
neck.
Finally, she pulled away. "I've
been so lonely. I've tried and I've tried but I haven't done a very good job. Dawn—"
"Shh, Buffy. I know. I've
seen it all. And I'm sorry. I didn't know it would end up like this."
Buffy frowned. Tried to
remember. "You said a wish? You made a wish? Please
tell me it was on a star, or you threw a coin into a fountain."
Her mother shook her head
sadly.
"Not Anya..."
Tara laughed. "She's not
the only vengeance demon, Buffy."
"Then which one?"
Joyce shrugged. "I never
knew, never even saw her."
"There are always some
around here," Tara said helpfully. "They like the Hellmouth."
"Figures." Buffy
turned to her mom. "But what wish?"
"It all happened so
fast. I just was so angry. I wanted vengeance. " Joyce reached out to
stroke Buffy's face. "I just wanted my little girl back. I had lost her
such a long time ago."
"What are you talking
about?"
"Buffy, you weren't
supposed to be in Sunnydale. " Tara waved her hand and suddenly an image
appeared. "This is how it was."
Buffy stared at the people
that appeared in front of her. Familiar scenes played across it, focusing on
her friends. Xander and Willow at school the day she first met them. Cordelia
insulting Willow's outfit just the way Buffy remembered it happening. She had
stood and watched. But there was no Buffy standing with Cordelia in these
pictures.
"I don't understand. I
was there."
"You weren't
there," Joyce said. "We moved to Cleveland. I wanted to get as far
from LA as possible, and I had a college friend there that could rent me the
space for the gallery."
Buffy watched as Willow sat
in the bronze, trying to look nonchalant as she waited at the bar for someone
to notice her. Someone...something did. Willow left with the first young man
who had ever shown her that kind of interest. Only he wasn't that young. And
she never came back.
Well, eventually she came
back. But not the same. She was a new, evil Willow—the vampire Buffy had met. "Oh,
god," she whispered.
"You saw what she was
like," Tara said quietly.
"The Master turned
her?"
Tara nodded. "He liked
her hair. Turned her and let Darla train her. They were...close. Then Angel
came to town. He wanted to meet up with you, Buffy. Thought you'd show up when
you heard about the Master getting free of the Hellmouth. But you didn't show. Angel
killed Darla. And Willow made him pay. Over and over."
Buffy turned to her mother. "You
said you lost me?"
Joyce gave her a look so full
of love Buffy nearly sobbed. "You didn't like Cleveland. You didn't fit
in. I was preoccupied. I saw what was happening but I was so immersed in my own
pain I just didn't try to stop it. The watchers found you again, only I didn't
know it then. I thought you'd fallen in with a bad crowd. What did I know? In
any life I wasn't much of a mother."
"You were the best
mother," Buffy said as fiercely as she could.
"The best mother
wouldn't have told you not to come home. Wouldn't have sat all that summer you
ran away wondering if you were safe or even alive. I had a lot to learn, still
do." Joyce pointed to the images. A fiercer, Buffy—scarred and tough—appeared.
"You eventually dropped out of school. Disappeared for days at a time. I'd
find receipts from strange places in your pockets, when I could actually get to
your clothes. Then one day you came home with a cut that looked like someone
had tried to slice your face in half. I got scared. I paid a detective to
follow you."
Buffy saw the other version
of herself talking to a tough-looking older man. "Your watcher," Tara
explained.
"But Giles," Buffy
whispered.
"In Sunnydale,"
Tara answered. "You didn't know him, he wasn't
your watcher. But he asked you to come. There was word that the Master was
starting work on a factory. You planned to go in a few weeks but then your
watcher decided to send you to LA earlier to stop another problem. He decided
you could hit Sunnydale on your way back. A quick stop to clean up what had
undoubtedly been exaggerated by an inexperienced watcher."
"And where you went, I
was going," Joyce continued. "The detective knew something was up,
told me so I went through your things. It took a while but I found your ticket.
And a lot of other things I didn't understand. Your weapons...they scared me. I
bought a ticket on an earlier flight and waited for you at LAX." Joyce
looked down. "I was convinced you were involved in drugs. I was so angry
at you."
"You didn't know,"
Buffy whispered.
"You
said it yourself. How could I not know?"
Buffy looked down. "You
didn't want to know. It was safer."
"Not for you."
"Shhh."
Tara touched Buffy's hand. "Watch."
Buffy stared hard at the
image, found herself being drawn into the action. She was at the Bronze, Buffy
realized, then slowly the sense of recognition faded as she began to integrate
with her alter ego. The place was full of vampires, but they hadn't scented her
yet. She'd never seen so many in one place. Her watcher hadn't told her about
this. That Giles guy had tried but she hadn't believed him, had brushed off his
offer of help. She was the slayer. She fought alone. She slipped into the
basement. There was a cage, and a man was chained. She nearly freed him, fell
for the trap, but realized in time he was a vampire.
But he knew her name. His
voice was soft, and his eyes were gentle as he told her his name was Angel. He
said he had a soul.
"I don't believe
you," she said. Her stake drove the point home.
"You killed Puppy,"
a low voice drawled. Buffy turned. A redhead stood on the stairs blocking her
exit. "Now what am I gonna do for fun?"
"Not really my
problem." Buffy pulled out another stake and advanced.
"Oh, you're feisty. I
like that." The vampire let her face morph into the demon. Her eyes glowed
a strange green. She slowly backed up the stairs.
Buffy followed her. The music
in the club went dead as the other vampires turned to watch. A very old one
rose from a throne like chair and said, "What have you found,
Willow?"
"Not sure, Master."
The redhead answered. "But I'd like to find out."
"It's a slow night. Nothing
to do but wait for the factory to be done." The old one smiled
magnanimously. "I give you leave."
Willow smiled seductively at
him. "You're the best." She turned back to Buffy. "We haven't
met." She took a step forward. "Let's keep it that way."
Buffy smirked. "All you
need to know is I'm the Slayer."
An interested buzz started up
in the club. Catcalls sounded from the balcony. Willow looked up and laughed. "Wow,
this is the most fun we've had in forever. And that's a timeframe I expect to
understand really well." Willow circled her. "So how many of us do
you think you can take before you die?"
Buffy didn't look away. "All
of you. And I don't plan to die."
"Let's see about
that." Willow backed away and spoke to the crowd. "Ok, one at a time.
And leave some for me."
"There will be plenty
for you, Red," Buffy said as she met the first vampire's kick and sparred
briefly before staking him. Another came at her. She finished him off too. But
there were more. And more. The kills were taking longer. Buffy could feel
herself tiring. She tried to catch her breath before the next vampire came
forward.
"Ok, it's my turn. I
don't want to wait until all the fight in you is gone. No fun in that." Willow
stepped forward and she and Buffy circled each other. A sudden commotion at the
main door made them both turn.
Buffy gasped. A dark-haired
vampire was holding her mom. "Look what I found, Baby."
Joyce struggled futilely. "Buffy?"
"Buffy? What kind of
name is Buffy?" Willow walked toward Joyce.
Buffy lunged at her, but the
redhead spun out of the way. "Let me guess. This is your watcher?"
The vampire holding Joyce
shook his head. "Her mom."
"Oh, Xander. This is
really good."
The vampire ducked his head. "I
like to make you happy."
"And you do," Willow
said as she kicked out at Buffy, narrowly missing as the tired slayer jerked
back. "This is great. It'll be so much better with a witness." She
walked over to Joyce, keeping an eye on Buffy as she moved. Reaching out, she
grabbed a handful of Joyce's hair and pulled hard. "You can watch your
daughter die. Or maybe, when she's dying, I'll make her watch while I kill you.
Which do you think would be more fun?" Willow scowled. "Not going to
answer, huh? Ok, then. I guess it's fight time." She let go, and turning,
advanced on Buffy.
Buffy feinted then punched
home with her other hand. But Willow wasn't there. She felt her stake being
pulled out of her hand.
Willow played with the stake
then looked at Xander. "Are you feeling a little peckish?"
He nodded.
"Why don't you take a
little taste?" She laughed as Xander bit down on Joyce's neck. "Not
enough to kill her, love. Just enough to hurt her."
"You bitch," Buffy
tried to rush past her but Willow caught her by the arm and threw her into the
crowd. Buffy punched her way out, only to find the vamp waiting for her,
holding the stake as if it were a knife. "Now I get to be the
Slayer," she said with a grin.
"Slay this," Buffy
said, desperation giving her new strength. She kicked and punched, trying to
get past the vampire's guard. For a minute she thought Willow was finally
giving ground as the vampire retreated slowly toward Joyce. Then Willow smiled
and very calmly said, "Bored now." Buffy realized too late that the
vampire had just lured her closer to Joyce to improve her mother's view.
"Buffy!" Joyce
screamed as Willow drove the stake into Buffy's chest and let it stay there.
Buffy looked down and tried
to pull out the stake but it was too much for her. Blood started to flow from
the wound and Buffy fell to her knees.
Willow followed her down. "There
now. Isn't that much better? Don't worry. It'll take a while to kill you."
The vampire let her face go back to human and smiled sweetly at Buffy as she
ran her finger through the blood and brought it to her lips. "You taste so
good."
Joyce sobbed, "You're a
monster."
"That's pretty harsh. You
hardly know me." Willow nodded to Xander. "Let her go. I want to
watch their pain."
Joyce nearly collapsed when
the vampire let her go. She slowly made her way to her daughter. "Buffy..."
"I'm sorry, Mom. I know
I disappointed you."
"I should have paid more
attention," Joyce sobbed.
"It wouldn't have
mattered. I'm the Chosen One. It's my destiny."
"Well, this is really
touching," Willow mocked. "All this talk about destiny and
disappointment. Next you'll get to the part where you say you love her, and
then she'll say that she loves you."
"You know nothing about
love," Joyce said, her face twisted in fury.
"Don't want to. Never
had it when I was human. Now that I've been reborn, I don't need it." Willow
stretched sinuously. "I spent too many years lonely and afraid. Now,
people fear me."
"You're sick,"
Buffy gasped, squeezing her mother's hand hard as a wave of pain hit her.
"This was fun, but now
it's not." Willow yawned. "Maybe we could make this dying part go
faster." She gave the stake a little poke.
As Buffy gasped in pain,
Joyce leapt at Willow, surprising her enough to land a vicious punch before the
vampire knocked her away. "You'll regret that." She kicked out and
sent Joyce flying. Then Willow turned and advanced on Buffy. Her foot hovered
over the stake. "It's gonna hurt a lot when I do
this."
Joyce struggled to sit
upright.
"Finish her,
Xander," Willow ordered. "But let her watch this." As Willow's
foot came down, Joyce screamed at her. "No!"
The stake slammed through
Buffy, and the pain was unimaginable. She felt blood rise in her throat. "Mom,"
she tried to say, but no sound came out except a faint gasp of air.
Joyce fought Xander as he
hauled her up into his arms. Her eyes met Willow's and, even as Xander's teeth
tore into her neck, she whispered, "You're a monster that shouldn't exist.
I just wish I could I could make that happen."
Buffy, watching as her mother
stopped struggling then went slack, thought she heard an amused voice say,
"Wish granted," just before everything went black.
"You understand
now?" Tara's voice was gentle.
Buffy shuddered. How many
times had she died? And this time at Willow's hand? "She's
my friend."
"She is your friend,
this time around. You didn't cause this, Buffy. You saved her." Joyce took
her hand. "You changed her destiny just enough that she stayed human. She
tasted evil, but she's still Willow deep down. That creature I had to watch
kill you was never born."
"Why are you showing me
this?"
Tara stroked her hair. "Because
you have to live. Because you have to look forward, not back. Your life here on
out is uncharted. We can't help you see your future. But we can help you
understand the past."
"You're not to blame. You
never were," Joyce said fiercely.
Buffy felt the control, the
ice she'd kept around her heart ever since she'd been brought back crack. She
began to cry. The way she had that one time with Tara. When the other girl had
held her and tried to make it better.
Tara walked over and gave her
a hug. "You'll be alright now. Really."
Buffy smiled through her
tears. "I'm going to miss you, Tara."
"I know. I'm going to go
now." Tara slowly faded away.
Buffy turned to Joyce. "I've
missed you too. So much."
"And I've missed my
little girl."
Buffy allowed herself to sink
into her mother's arms. She held her tightly and resisted when she felt an arm
trying to shake her loose.
"Buffy, let go of the
pillow, it's time to get up," Dawn said, her voice set on maximum
crankiness.
"I'm up." Buffy
remembered saying that to her mother on her first day of school in Sunnydale. How
long ago that was. But it seemed like only yesterday. And why did she feel like
her mother was so close. She looked at Dawn and said, "I was dreaming I
think."
"Something good, I
hope," Dawn said as she walked out of the room.
"I'm not sure, but I
think so," Buffy said, as she slipped out of bed and got ready to face her
future.
FIN