DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the
property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The
story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c)
2013 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
Chain Reaction
by Djinn
ThereÕs
a moment. Finite. When everything comes together. The terrain sloping
gently downward, the people struggling to keep their feet, the rain that fell
earlier making the footing hazardous.
And a weapon.
Projectile, since this is a primitive world.
But still lethal.
When
aimed at a human heart. Or a Vulcan one.
Three
people, hurrying, a mission gone wrong, not all at once but in a series of
small missteps.
The
captain: he hangs back, looks behind him, trying to keep the other two
safe. The woman he loves. The Vulcan whoÕs like
a brother to him.
The Vulcan who loves her, too.
When
did this get so complicated?
The
woman is not looking back. SheÕs
looking at the Vulcan, who is bleeding from a knife wound to the arm—one
of those missteps. It should be a
small problem only, but he fell on the slippery grass and has ripped the wound
open more than it was. She is trying to run and regenerate his skin at the same
time.
She
is doing neither well. He finally
tells her to leave it.
The
Vulcan holds his torn arm shut, green blood pooling under his fingers. Green blood that will give them away, be the final misstep in this day of things gone not
according to plan.
He
sees the stand of rocks and trees before the woman or the captain do. Says, ÒJim, over there.Ó
He
has started to move when a crack sounds.
The
projectile. Somehow in his mind he
identifies the sound. Kirk, the
captain does, too. He kept too many
ancient weapons on the walls of his apartment back on Earth not to know this
sound.
The
woman, a doctor, not regular Fleet, registers the sound but not its cause. So she has no warning before the bullet
rips into her side.
ÒChris,Ó
Kirk says as she falls, then looks at the Vulcan. ÒSpock, help me.Ó
They
pull her to the hiding place Spock has seen, and Kirk hopes that no one is
already lurking in there, waiting for them. The day theyÕve had, he would not be
surprised.
ÒDamn
it all,Ó Kirk says as he pulls out the phaser he has hidden. He sees no one on the hillside, no
movement, so he sits down and turns his attention to Chris.
Spock
is already working on her, his blood flowing out from the knife wound as he
tries to close where she was shot, the green and red blood merging into a
sickly brown on her homespun outfit that was supposed to blend in with the
natives—one more thing that has not gone right today.
ÒDid
it come out the back?Ó Chris asks softly, she may not have realized it was a
projectile weapon, but once the thing tore through her, she knew it wasnÕt an
energy weapon. ÒThe thing that hit
me. Is it still inside me?Ó
Kirk
lifts her gently as Spock continues to work and sees that she is bleeding
freely on the ground. ÒIt came out
the back.Ó
ÒThatÕs
probably good. Spock, if IÕm
bleeding worse back there, regenerate that spot first.Ó Her voice is shaky, and she closes her
eyes and bites back a groan as Spock eases her up to assess the exit wound.
Spock
meets JimÕs eyes, knows his are worried.
He also knows he is not hiding his feelings for Christine from his
friend, but Jim doesnÕt seem to mind.
He goes back to scanning the hillside, leaving Spock to decide which
wound—entrance or exit—needs his attention the most.
Jim
trusts Spock with Christine. She
opens her eyes, says softly, so softly Jim canÕt hear, ÒHow bad is it?Ó
ÒYou
will be fine.Ó He says it loudly
enough that Jim can hear.
She
shakes her head, clearly not believing him.
ÒYou
will be fine, Christine.Ó He is not
sure it is true, but if will alone could make it so, it would be.
ÒYou
canÕt use that phaser, Jim,Ó Chapel says as she sees what Jim is holding as he
looks out at the hillside as if hell itself is massing an attack.
ÒIÕll
mow down anyone who comes near us with the wrong attitude. WeÕve played by the rules all day and
gotten nowhere.Ó
ÒTheyÕre
primitive. The prime
directive.Ó She looks at
Spock. ÒTell him.Ó
ÒI
am, at the moment, engaged.Ó He
continues working, moving her a little too much, and she tries not to groan.
Kirk
glances back. ÒSpock, first do no
harm.Ó He watches Spock work on
her. Watches the care he takes,
even if he does make her wince and cry out—canÕt help it given the nature
of her injury—sees how gentle his eyes are, how firmly his mouth is set.
Spock
will do everything in his power to save her.
ÒWe
need to get off this goddamn hill.Ó
He turns back to scan the terrain.
Sees a movement, a flash of metal in the trees above them. A gun comes out, a long
barrel—some kind of rifle.
No
way Kirk can hope for any accuracy with a phaser at this range. But he can still do some damage. He sets the phaser on a setting that
will burn, aims for the tree, and fires.
The tree catches fire on the side visible to him first; it takes a while
for the owner of the rifle to react, but then he yells and runs out, down the
hill toward where Kirk and the others are waiting. Kirk adjusts the setting to stun and
takes him out once he is close enough.
He
wants to go get the manÕs rifle, but there may be others waiting on the ridge
for him to do just that.
He
sits tight.
Chapel
watches him, asks softly, ÒDid you kill him?Ó
ÒOf
course not.Ó
She
smiles. ÒJust checking.Ó She reaches over, takes his hand, and he
squeezes hers gently.
ÒHow
you doing, sweetheart?Ó
Of
all the endearments he uses, that one is her favorite. She smiles as she closes her eyes. ÒI feel woozy.Ó
ÒIt
is due to loss of blood,Ó Spock says, and she smiles again.
ÒI
knew that, Spock.Ó She swallows and
says the words she does not want to say.
ÒYou realize that you are wasting valuable time fixing me up? We are here for a reason. You should leave me and go finish the
mission.Ó
ÒNo,Ó
the two men say as one. And she
imagines it is for the same reason.
She
breathes out in relief. She would
let them go and be brave, but she would rather they didnÕt abandon her
here. Does that make her a coward?
Besides, the way their day has gone, the mission is fucked beyond all reason.
Spock
finishes with the regenerator and leans in, studying her. ÒI can feel you are in a great deal of
pain. I can help with that. A meld. Jim?Ó
ÒYou
donÕt have to ask me if you can ease her pain, Spock. Just do it.Ó
Spock
touches her face, fitting his fingers to the psi points. Her emotions are chaotic. She thinks they should leave her; she
wants them to stay with her. She
loves Jim—she loves...Spock.
He meets her eyes and she makes a face that he can tell means, ÒPlease donÕt
make too much of that.Ó
She
has always loved him. He could have
had her and he did not take what was offered, and now it is too late.
He
presses into her mind, blocking pain receptors, easing panic, telling her it
will be all right, that they will never leave her—that they love her.
That
part is undoubtedly gratuitous. He
cannot stop himself. He eases away,
sees that she is more relaxed, her eyes half lidded.
Jim
looks over, smiles at Spock, then nods at his arm. ÒFinish healing that wound. I need you at one hundred percent.Ó He stares at Chris, knows his look is a
little bit helpless. She is right,
after all. They should finish the
mission.
They
will, just not right this moment.
TheyÕll find another way to get the mollinium
they need. There is no way they are
getting to market today. And the
next market isnÕt for three days.
ÒAs
soon as itÕs dark, we get off this hillside and find some decent shelter. We have a rendezvous call with the ship
in six hours. WeÕll have a new plan
by then.Ó
##
Darkness
seems to take forever to fall, but fall if finally does. They take longer than any of them like
to get down the hill, but it is slow going in the still slippery grass, with
Kirk checking for spotters, with Spock listening for movement, and with Chapel
trying not to let them know that while Spock efficiently healed both the entry
and exit wounds of the projectileÕs path, he did nothing for the damage it did
inside her.
There
was no time for him to fix the inside part, so she didnÕt mention it to him and
did not offer him her scanner—and it is no doubt a testament to how
rattled he was that he did not think to ask for it.
He
loves her. She thinks it has taken
seeing her with Jim for him to realize it.
That and perhaps a giant nudge from VÕger.
She
has not told either man that she is more injured than they know because they
will stop and try to heal her, and the mission is more important than she
is. A small amount of mollinium will create worldsÕ worth of anti-virals for a plague ravaging two star systems. What is she against that?
Spock
is watching Christine as she navigates the hillside, and he reaches out and
steadies her when she slips.
Pain
floods him at the contact. Too much pain.
He realizes there is more wrong with her than she has let on, knows too
that they cannot stop: the needs of the many. He has never hated that tenet more.
He
hopes there is lingering resonance from the meld he used to ease her pain,
tries to send her strength and sees her turn to look at him.
For
a moment, her eyes are panicked and she shakes her head. He knows what her message is: do not
tell Jim. He nods ever so slightly.
This
is their secret.
He
hates that, too.
Jim
sees movement in the trees just beyond them, tells Spock and Chris to get down
and fires, hoping itÕs not an innocent, but beyond caring at this point.
Starfleet
will have his nuts in a sling when this mission is over.
A
man falls out of a low branch, carrying a rifle just like the other manÕs. HeÕs close enough that Kirk can run over
and grab the weapon. He searches
through the manÕs clothes until he finds the spare ammunition and puts it into
the pouch he carries. He finds a
knife, is surprised when Spock asks for it, but gives it to him. They take his water carrier and what
food he has to add to their own.
Then he moves the stunned man back into the trees where he wonÕt be
seen.
Fixing
the rifle over his shoulder with the carrying strap, he says, ÒLetÕs go.Ó
ÒDonÕt
I get a weapon?Ó Chris asks, and something is off in her voice.
He
studies her, but she is giving nothing away, so he looks at Spock, trying to
read his expression in the murk.
Spock turns away.
Shit. Something is wrong.
They
canÕt afford to stop, so he presses them onward, trying to find terrain that
will both give them cover but not test Chris too much. Finally, they start climbing again and
come to an area riddled with caves.
He picks one thatÕs off the main path and seems defensible.
He
lets Spock get Chris settled, sits at the mouth of the cave, and opens his
communicator. ÒKirk to Enterprise.Ó The six-hour mark was thirty minutes
ago, but there is no indication that Scotty tried to contact him. ÒKirk to Enterprise.Ó
He
senses rather than hears Spock come up beside him. ÒIÕm going higher. Maybe thereÕs interference down
here. Some mineral or other.Ó
Spock
nods. ÒBe careful.Ó
ÒHow
is she?Ó
ÒI
will tell you once you have talked to Mister Scott and have a new plan.Ó
Kirk
knows what that means. SheÕs bad,
bad enough to compromise the mission if they take the right amount of care of
her—or maybe there is no right amount of care. Is that what Spock is going to tell him?
ÒJim,
go.Ó
He
goes. The climb is easier now that
it is just him.
He tries the communicator at three different elevations. Nothing. He goes as high as he can. Nothing.
He
nearly looses his footing in his haste to get back to Chris. Spock is waiting at the entrance.
ÒI
canÕt raise the ship.Ó
ÒThen
the mission is over until we can.
You are the only one who does not have blood—my blood in
particular—on your clothing, and you cannot complete this mission alone
since the traders in the market do not trust solitary travellers.Ó
ÒYes,
because weÕve done so well as a traveling unit.Ó Jim sighs.
ÒThose
were bandits. We are in the outer
provinces. The law is more
difficult to enforce here. We are
not used to such primitive conditions or we would have anticipated this. At any rate, the cause of our present
condition is moot. We are going
nowhere if we cannot raise the ship.Ó
Spock sees Jim process this.
ÒWe must attend to her. Her
condition is quite serious.Ó He
leads Jim back to the spot he has chosen for Christine. It is around a bend in the cave, where
any light they use will not be seen from the outside.
He
has built a small fire, sees Jim smile.
ÒArenÕt you the boy scout?Ó
ÒShe
was cold.Ó It is quite warm in the
cave; he sees that Jim understands the seriousness of his statement. ÒAnd we will need to be able to see. The regenerator has its own light source
but some ambient light is also necessary.Ó
Spock
looks down at Christine. She lies
shivering and is half dozing.
ÒChristine. You must tell us
what to do to help you.Ó
She
opens her eyes. ÒNo, you have to
finish the mission.Ó
Jim
leans in and touches her face gently, frowning, Spock imagines, at how warm she
is. ÒMissionÕs gone to pot, my
love. CanÕt raise the ship. Your clothes and SpockÕs are a
mess. We need to be resupplied
before we can safely stroll into the market to get the mollinium.
So in the meantime, we save your
life instead of just twiddling our thumbs.
DoesnÕt that sound like a good plan?Ó He is trying to sound light, but there
is a desperateness in his eyes that Spock remembers
from their time on Earth, when Kirk knew Edith was going to have to die.
Christine
does not have to die. Spock will
not let her die. ÒChristine, tell
me what to do.Ó
ÒIÕm
bleeding internally. ThereÕs a
scanner in my pouch.Ó She smiles
when he realizes he could have used that before.
ÒYou
withheld the scanner from me?Ó
ÒIt
would have wasted time. Mission
first.Ó She closes her eyes for a
moment. ÒThe problem is that you
will have to go quite deep. And it
will hurt. I wonÕt be able
to—I may scream. And we canÕt
have that. Not if we want to stay
hidden.Ó
ÒI
can meld with y—Ó
ÒYou
can goddamn gag me is what you can do.Ó
She is looking at Jim not Spock when she says it. Spock watches his friendÕs face, cannot
believe he will gag the woman he loves, but Jim finally nods.
ÒMeld
with her after we gag her. SheÕs
right. We have to be sure. But make her as comfortable as you can
with the meld before you start the surgery. Hopefully the gag wonÕt be needed.Ó He swallows hard. ÒIÕm sorry, Chris.Ó
ÒDonÕt
be sorry. ItÕs my idea, Jim. I will not be responsible for getting
all of us captured. ItÕs just a
piece of cloth. Preferably a clean
one, if any of us have such a thing.Ó She tries to smile, reaches out for both
of them, feels them grab onto her as if she is the strong one, and they are the
ones who will soon have someone digging around inside them.
She
pulls Jim down to her, kisses him softly.
ÒI love you. IÕll be
fine.Ó He nods.
Then
she pulls Spock down. ÒHereÕs what
you do.Ó And she details how to
find the damage, knows he will remember every word. He is so serious, nodding and asking
questions. But he is clenching her
hand almost too hard. ÒOkay, you
got it?Ó
He
looks over at Jim. ÒShe is not
Edith, Jim. I will not let her
die.Ó
Jim
is watching Spock with a strange look that she canÕt read. Then he looks at Chapel and smiles. ÒGive him a kiss for luck, unless you
think itÕll rattle him more than he already is.Ó
She
meets his eyes, and he gives the gentle nod that means heÕs serious. She holds his hand tighter as she lets
go of SpockÕs hand and pulls him down to her.
His
kiss is nothing like the one they shared in front of the Platonians. There is nothing reluctant about
it. It is as if he has been granted
one gift and he will enjoy it—but he is not flaunting it. He is gentle with her and the kiss does
not last long. And when he pulls
away, he turns to Jim and says, ÒThank you.Ó
Jim
shrugs, and the look on his face is impossible for Chapel to figure out. He lets go of her hand and rips a strip
of fabric from the bottom of his shirt.
ÒI think IÕve got the cleanest one.Ó
She
nods and turns to him as he fashions it into a gag, knotting the fabric into a
balled shape. Before he puts it in
her mouth, he leans in, kisses her again.
ÒI love you. Do not die.Ó
ÒI
wonÕt.Ó She tries to smile, but it
comes off shaky. She opens her
mouth and he eases the gag in, then ties it around her the back of her head.
ÒTry
talking.Ó
Her
voice is muffled. He tells her to
go a bit louder without straining anything. Still there is very little noise.
ÒThatÕs
fine.Ó He touches her cheek. ÒAre you okay?Ó When she nods, he turns to Spock. ÒNow the meld.Ó
Spock
moves in, finds the psi points, and she feels him move easily into her
mind. He is not trying to hide his
feelings for her in any way, and it is almost overwhelming how much he wants to
help her, how...driven he is.
And
his drive is not just on her behalf.
Much of it is for Jim.
Their
relationship is beyond complex.
She
suddenly feels as if she is floating, like she has injected herself with a hypo
full of anti-anxiety meds. He ups
the feeling and she can barely feel her body, is not so aware of the gag.
ÒJim
will hold your hands during the procedure,Ó Spock says as he slips out of her
mind, leaving her as peaceful and numb as he can. ÒIf the pain becomes too much, squeeze
his hands three times in quick succession, and I will meld with you again if I
can stop what I am doing. Can you
remember that?Ó
She
nods.
ÒIf
you squeeze his hands any other way, it will not mean anything other than you
are working through the pain.
Understood?Ó
She
nods again.
ÒIf
you could sit here, Jim—hold her hands above her head so she cannot
interfere with my work. She will
not mean to, but she may try.Ó
Jim
moves where Spock told him to, hating that he has to do this. The gag, holding her down—he hates
bondage games. HeÕs been tied and
chained up too many times for real to find it fun to have it done to him or do
it to someone else.
Chris
suddenly squeezes his hands very hard and he looks down at her. She winks at him, and he wonders how the
hell she always knows when heÕs gone to one of his dark places. He squeezes her hands back gently.
ÒI
will begin,Ó Spock says, and Chapel feels him opening
the entrance wound with the knife Jim took off the man he stunned. It is the other reason they needed the
fire: sterilization.
It
doesnÕt hurt as much as it should, but tears still fill her eyes without her
consciously thinking about crying, and she is afraid she will break JimÕs hands
she is clenching so hard. A moan
comes out, but the gag catches it, keeps them safe.
She
can hear the scanner, forces herself to mentally keep up with what Spock is
doing, knows that will distract her somewhat from the pain.
The
pain that soars up like a living thing when he reaches the area that is torn
and bleeding. The
pain that is suddenly the only thing in her world. She desperately squeezes JimÕs hand
three times. Help-help-help. Stop-stop-stop.
ÒSpock. Spock, stop.Ó Kirk can hear the panic in his voice,
but it is nothing compared to the frantic three-step Chris is doing with her
hands.
ÒI
cannot stop right now,Ó Spock says, and he hears the deepest regret in SpockÕs
voice.
Chris
screams. For a very long time, but
his gag catches most of it, what escapes is nothing that will give them away if
anyone is outside looking for them.
And
then she loses consciousness.
ÒTell
me sheÕs still alive,Ó Kirk says as he lets go of her hands, moves around to
look for the rise and fall of her chest.
ÒShe
is still alive.Ó Spock meets his
eyes. ÒIf you help me, I could go
faster.Ó
ÒTell
me what to do.Ó HeÕs afraid itÕs
pulling the pieces of skin apart so that Spock can work, and thatÕs exactly
what it is. He does it, trying to
keep his stomach from doing unhappy cartwheels at all the blood and
innards. HeÕs not generally
squeamish, has seen his share of gore over the years, but itÕs not usually his
loverÕs bloody bits heÕs looking at.
ÒThere.Ó Spock sounds satisfied and picks up the
scanner with bloody hands and checks.
ÒYes, the rest is sound. I
will just repair the way I came in and she should be fine. Weak, however. She has lost a good deal of blood.Ó
They
wash up, and Kirk takes the gag out of her mouth, throws the thing into the
corner, turns his phaser to incinerate, and destroys it. HeÕd have preferred to see it burn
slowly in the fire but it would have smoked too much, possibly given their position
away—or run them out of the cave, and Chris is in no shape to walk, much
less run.
She
opens her eyes, and he lies down next to her. Spock takes the phaser from him and
heads for the cave entrance, taking the first watch without being
asked—they have left the entrance unguarded too long as it is.
ÒIÕm
so sorry, Chris.Ó He kisses her
forehead softly. ÒIÕm so very
sorry.Ó
ÒJust
tell me he fixed everything.Ó
ÒLooks
like.Ó He wishes there were
something he could do for her. ÒDo
you want some water?Ó
ÒYes,
but I canÕt have any yet. I could have
ice chips but weÕre fresh out.Ó She
smiles, a game smile, and he loves her for it. ÒIÕve never been in that much
pain.Ó She turns her head, buries
her face in his chest, and he moves closer so she wonÕt have to strain to reach
him.
ÒYou
did great. He did great.Ó
ÒYou
did great, too.Ó She holds her face
up to him, the way she does when she wants him to kiss her and she doesnÕt want
to do any work.
He
smiles and indulges her, kissing her gently, over and over.
When
he stops, she lies back, a happy smile on her
face. Then the smile fades. ÒWhy did you want me to kiss him?Ó
He
shrugs.
ÒNo. Really.Ó
ÒHe
loves you. HeÕs in love with
you. If you died...Ó
ÒIf
I died, you wanted him to have that?Ó
He
nods.
ÒI
couldnÕt tell what you were thinking afterwards. Your expression was strange.Ó
He
doesnÕt answer.
ÒJim?Ó
ÒItÕs
not every day you watch your best friend kiss the woman you love. IÕm not sure I know what I
thought—what I felt.Ó He runs
his fingers over her lips, remembers watching as SpockÕs lips descended down to
hers, his mouth opening slightly, not too much but enough to not make it a
chaste kiss. ÒYou love him, donÕt
you?Ó
She
nods. ÒBut IÕm with you. I love you. I donÕt want him.Ó
ÒIs
that it? Or is it that you donÕt
want him more than you do me?Ó He smiles. ÒThis is confusing. Next time you are on deathÕs door and
Spock is going to operate, I am not
going to let him kiss you.Ó
She
laughs and immediately groans.
ÒOh,
sweetheart, IÕm sorry. WeÕll stop talking
about funny things like how my best friend wants to have sex with you in the
worst way.Ó
ÒWait,
howÕd we get to sex? We were just
talking about a kiss.Ó She turns to
meet his eyes. ÒJim stop thinking about this, okay? HeÕs like any other guy. He wants what he canÕt have and he only
recognizes a good thing once itÕs gone.Ó
ÒFair
enough.Ó He can see that her eyes
are drooping, and he strokes her cheek and says, ÒGo to sleep, Chris,Ó until
she drops off.
Then
he gets up, joins Spock at the cave entrance, and tries to raise the ship.
No
joy.
##
Spock
watches Christine sleep. Her
temperature is down, her blood pressure back up to levels approximating human
normal, her pulse stronger. She is
out of the woods as Leonard would say.
He
sits next to her, takes her hand in what he knows is a foolishly indulgent
gesture—and an ironic one.
She used to do this for him years ago when he was wounded or sick. He does not think she was ever as shaken
as he feels now. Shaken by the pain
he caused her, pain he felt through her skin as he worked, through the
resonance left from the meld, through the shrillness of her muffled
scream. He wanted to stop and help
her, but he could not.
It
was a mercy she blacked out. For both of them.
For all of them, Jim was not unaffected, either.
Jim. Why did he let her kiss him? Spock is relatively sure, were their
situations reversed, he would not have done the same.
His
friend is generous. He has always
known that.
But
is there more to it than that? And
how can he explore it—does he want to explore it?
He
is holding the hand of a woman who belongs to someone else. Of course he wants to explore it. He should be honest, if only with
himself.
He
puts her hand down gently and gets up, leaving her in peace.
Jim
hears Spock coming, thinks he was in with Chris a little longer than was
necessary to Òcheck on herÓ but decides heÕs not in the mood to talk about
that. He looks up as Spock comes
out, holds up his communicator and says, ÒIÕd really like to know if we arenÕt
getting through because of some interference at our end or if they arenÕt there
to receive us.Ó
Spock
nods. ÒI have my communicator. We can test to see if we can communicate
with each other from a distance.Ó
Jim
starts to get up, but Spock stops him.
ÒI
will go, Jim. You have climbed the
hill once already tonight.Ó
ÒBut
youÕre wounded.Ó
ÒMy
arm is fine now. And I am Vulcan.Ó
ÒHalf
Vulcan. Half human. With human desires.Ó Maybe they are going to have this conversation.
ÒYes. Which in no way affect my climbing
skills. I will comm
you in four minutes provided I am in the clear.Ó
ÒCopy
that. Keep going if I donÕt
reply. You can climb for about ten
minutes at your speed, I imagine, before you run out of hill. About fifteen at mine. Try comming
every four minutes or so.Ó
Spock
looks like he thinks heÕll climb the hill faster than KirkÕs estimate.
ÒIÕm
allowing for you not stressing a wounded arm. There are parts that require pulling
yourself up. ItÕs not a
competition, Spock.Ó
Spock
nods. ÒUnderstood.Ó And then he is gone.
ItÕs
not a competition. Kirk thinks
thatÕs what Spock is thinking: what if it werenÕt a competition, this thing
with Christine? They were united
tonight more than ever because they both love her. They will both still love her
tomorrow. Can they both be united
then too?
Or
is he reading too much into this?
But
Spock put up no resistance to the kiss.
No evidence of surprise. No
looking at him with an ÒAre you sure?Ó
Chris looked at him to make sure but Spock didnÕt, he just dove right
in. And thanked him for it
after. Like heÕd shared his...what?
Shared.
Does
he want to share?
Does
Chris want him to share her? ThatÕs
whatÕs really driving him. HeÕs
been watching as Spock falls deeper and deeper into the feelings he has for
Chris and has imagined a thousand scenarios where Chris leaves him for the man
she really loves—the man sheÕs always loved.
HeÕs not used to worrying that heÕs just a diversion for someone, but thatÕs
exactly what heÕs obsessing about.
His
communicator beeps softly. ÒSpock
to Kirk.Ó
ÒKirk
here. The problemÕs
not at our end. Come back
down.Ó He sounds angry. He doesnÕt mean to sound angry. ItÕs just that heÕs not ready to have this
discussion. He needs to know what
Chris wants. It was one stupid kiss
he let Spock have when he thought she might die—that she gave Spock
without much prodding. Any
prodding. Did she enjoy it?
Shit. He has to stop this.
He
is not going to panic—that is not the Jim Kirk way.
Spock
is still on the comm line. ÒAre you all right, Jim?Ó
ÒJust
dandy. Kirk out.Ó
Spock
is down very quickly and sits next to Kirk at the entrance, studying his
communicator as if it is the holy damn grail. ÒI feel—Ó
ÒPretty
sure I donÕt want to talk about feelings right now.Ó
ÒAs
you wish.Ó
Kirk
hears Chris calling him.
Spock
starts to get up. Kirk slams him
back down—hard, much harder than he meant to. Spock looks up at him, clearly startled.
ÒYour
hearing is too good for you not to have heard her say my name, not yours.Ó
ÒShe
may need medical attention.Ó
ÒIf
she does, IÕll come get you.Ó He
leaves Spock sitting, another objection no doubt spooling up, but Kirk moves
too fast to have to hear it.
ÒHello,
sweetheart,Ó he says as he comes into view.
She
tries to sit up. She woke in the
cave, in pain, and at first could not remember where she was. Then she moved and pain spread over her
and she remembered and only wanted one thing. ÒJim.Ó
ÒIÕm
right here. Should you be sitting
up, Doctor? Is it medically
advised?Ó He smiles as he supports
her as she stops moving, and she frowns and lies back down. ÒDidnÕt think so.Ó He kisses her forehead. ÒWhat can I get you?Ó
ÒFive
ccÕs of calhydromine.Ó SheÕd sell her soul for some decent
painkiller.
His
face changes as he asks, ÒWould another meld help?Ó
ÒIf
I say yes, are you going to be mad?
Because you donÕt look happy.Ó
His face looks even less happy after she says that, and she waves him
off. ÒItÕs okay. IÕm all right.Ó
ÒNo,
itÕs not okay. ItÕs not okay for
you to suffer.Ó He leans down,
sighs, and meets her eyes. His look
is haunted, in a way sheÕs never seen before. ÒIf you ever get tired of me, youÕll
tell me, wonÕt you?Ó
ÒWhy
would I get tired of you?Ó SheÕs in
so much pain sheÕs probably not really thinking straight, but even on a good
day he wouldnÕt be making sense.
ÒSweetie, please go get Spock.Ó
ÒRight.Ó HeÕs up and gone, and a moment later
Spock hurries into the space.
ÒWhat
did you say to him?Ó she asks as he lays his fingers on the meld points. ÒDid you say something to him?Ó
ÒWhat
do you mean?Ó He waits to start the
meld and she murmurs, ÒForget it, just do it,Ó and then he is inside her mind
and pushing the pain away as quickly as he can.
She
moans, and regrets the sound as soon as it comes out. If Jim heard it, it probably sounded
like—
Goddamn
it, why is she thinking about what she sounded like? SheÕs in pain from being shot through the
middle and having anesthetic-free surgery.
Her pain is being taken away.
Anyone would moan happily.
Why is she even worrying about this?
ÒChristine,
please try to relax.Ó
ÒOh,
shut up.Ó
She
senses a wave of uncertainty coming from him. But he does shut up and he doesnÕt stop
the pain relief part of the meld, so she decides not to worry about his
feelings, either.
##
Kirk
is sitting next to Spock, watching the sun come up over the hillside when his
communicator sounds, the discreet click heÕs set it on since more overt hails
are problematic.
ÒKirk
here.Ó
ÒAh,
Captain, sorry for abandoning you like that.Ó Scotty sounds both harried and
triumphant.
ÒLet
me guess. Uninvited guests?Ó
ÒAye,
sir. Klingons. Seems they had a wee bit of a problem with
our doing some drilling on the seventh moon.Ó
ÒWhy
were you drilling there?Ó
ÒWe
found a vein of mollinium that Doctor McCoy thought
might work better than what was on the planet. He needed to test it first so he didnÕt
want to stop your mission until he was certain it would be suitable. It is a higher grade, and we donÕt have
to rely on the planetÕs primitive refining processes and all the related
impurities. So youÕre off the
hook. ThatÕs my good news, sir.Ó
ÒAh,
so thereÕs bad as well?Ó
ÒAye. We had to discuss our differences with
the Klingons a bit aggressively.Ó
Kirk
can picture his ship, limping around the planet in orbit. ÒHow bad is it?Ó
ÒOh,
our girlÕs fine, sir. WeÕve just
got a few systems down. Transporters being the main one. So we canÕt bring you home just yet. Are you somewhere safe?Ó
ÒFor
now. But Doctor Chapel is
injured. In stable condition, but
IÕd prefer to get her home sooner rather than later.Ó He glances over at Spock, sees him
looking back. They both know that
Kirk would also prefer to get her away from Spock and his pain melds sooner
rather than later.
ÒI
estimate about seven more hours, sir.
I assume you donÕt want to chance a shuttlecraft?Ó
ÒNo,
Mister Scott, indeed I donÕt. The
after-action report on this mission is going to be a fun one as it is. Keep me posted.Ó
ÒAye,
sir. Scott out.Ó
He
stands. ÒIÕm going to tell Chris
the ship is back.Ó
Spock
nods.
ÒYou
canÕt have her, Spock. Okay?Ó Frustration fills him. He wants things back the way they were
before this mission. With his friend in one box and his girlfriend in another. Not with all of them sitting in the same
one, with him feeling as if it is getting too small and heÕll be the one to be
pitched out.
ÒI
did not say anything, Jim.Ó
ÒI
donÕt know what I was doing with that kiss. Forget it happened.Ó
ÒBut
it did happen. You told her to kiss
me. And she did.Ó
ÒTechnically,
she let you kiss her.Ó
ÒShe
kissed me back, Jim.Ó Spock tilts
his head, the way he does when he is essentially saying Òwas so.Ó
ÒWell
then forget that, too.Ó He stalks
away, rounds the corner and sees Chris sitting up, drinking some water.
She
rolls her eyes at him. ÒVoices
carry in here, sweetheart.Ó She thinks
he doesnÕt realize he is running his hand through his hair the way he does when
he is stressed, that he is tapping his fingers against the side of his
leg—his sign of impatience.
ÒCome here.Ó
He
sits next to her. ÒDid you kiss him
back?Ó
ÒYou
told me to kiss him, Jim.Ó
ÒBut
why did you do it?Ó
She
sees heÕs struggling with the idea.
That he seems honestly threatened.
She leans against him. ÒJim,
I was in pain. I was slightly
delirious. I just wanted him to get
the surgery over with. You were
telling me to kiss him. If youÕd
told me to kiss the rifle, I probably would have if it would have gotten the
ball rolling.Ó
He
starts to laugh. ÒThe rifle? ThatÕs the best you can come up with?Ó
ÒWell
there are not a lot of funny options in this cave.Ó She sighs. ÒWhy are you so upset over this?Ó
ÒBecause
I donÕt want to have a threesome with Spock.Ó He says it low, almost hisses it at her.
She
whispers back, trying not to laugh.
ÒYou think I do?Ó
ÒYou
donÕt?Ó
ÒNo.Ó She does laugh and immediately clutches
at her side. ÒGod damn it,
Jim. Quit being so stupid. It should be painful for you, not me. A threesome?Ó
ÒYou
really donÕt want that?Ó
ÒWhy
in GodÕs name would I want that? He
had how many years to have me? Now
he wants me? Well, too fucking bad. Excuse my
goddamn French.Ó
He
smiles. He is so relieved he wants
to take her right there but if laughing hurts, he knows sex is going to be off
the menu for quite a while. But he
grins, a real grin, the first real grin heÕs probably given her on this
godforsaken piece-of-shit planet that he canÕt wait to get beamed off of.
And
she grins back. She leans in,
whispers in his ear, ÒDonÕt rub it in when you go back out there or heÕll cut
me off the pain melds.Ó
He
laughs, loudly enough he knows it must carry out to Spock.
ÒShhhhh.Ó
He
turns and kisses her as gently as he can while still making it a very, very
good kiss. ÒI love you, woman.Ó
ÒYouÕre
an idiot. But I love you,
too.Ó She shifts a little and a grimace
crosses her face.
ÒDo
you need him?Ó He can ask that this
time without feeling the massive surge of jealous insecurity.
ÒI
do. And IÕm not going to say IÕm
sorry for it.Ó
ÒIÕm
fine with that.Ó He gets up, walks
out to Spock. ÒShe needs you, old
friend.Ó
Spock
studies him. ÒYou seem in a
different mood.Ó
ÒLike
I said. YouÕre not going to have
her.Ó He holds his hand out, pulls
Spock to his feet. ÒAnd thank you
for taking such good care of her. I
know you love her. I trust that can
downshift into like when weÕre back onboard the ship.Ó
Spock
feels a surge of disappointment but it is short lived. The probability of Jim inviting him into
his relationship with Christine was low.
And he is taking this all with good humor. He is still treating Spock as a
friend.
And,
most importantly, he has sensed in the melds with Christine that while she
loves him, she is not particularly interested in doing anything about his
growing interest in her. ÒYou
snooze, you lose,Ó was the sentiment he has gleaned from her.
Disheartening.
Spock
nods. ÒI will adjust my
expectations.Ó
ÒGood.Ó Jim rubs his forehead. ÒI cannot wait to get off this
hellhole. I have a splitting
headache.Ó
ÒAfter
I get done with ChristineÕs meld, I could help you.Ó
Jim
laughs. ÒI think IÕll wait and let
Bones shoot me up with something.
But thanks.Ó He shakes his
head and goes back to guarding the entrance.
But
as Spock heads around the corner to Christine, he hears Jim mutter, ÒYou sly
dog.Ó
FIN