DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2002 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
Blood Debt
by Djinn
"Sir, I beg of you. We must go."
Spock waited till the
wracking cough subsided, then looked up at Talmek and shook his head. "Those who need me must be able to find
me."
"Others will be able to
find you as well if we stay here."
Talmek looked toward the tunnels.
"Even this far down we are too exposed. We need to go deeper. Go somewhere you can rest, get well."
"We will stay
here." Spock sighed.
An echo of his sigh came from
the veiled women who knelt at the fire, silently cooking their meal. Talmek eyed her suspiciously.
Spock followed his gaze. "Leave her, she is a threat to no
one," he said softly.
"You don't know who she
is."
"I don't need to. She comes to me with no words, with only the
thirst for knowledge, the hunger for logic."
"But you have never seen
her face."
Spock coughed again, racking
heaves that left him dizzy and weak when they subsided. "She comes to us anonymously for a
reason. She only seeks to learn. And she has served us faithfully for some
time." Spock knew that Talmek was
right to suspect the woman. It was
illogical to not make her show her true identity. But Spock was tired of the running, tired of
all the precautions. He coughed
again. What difference did it make
anymore?
"That might be just an
act. She could be anyone." Talmek shook his head. "We have been attacked too many times
lately. Your followers decimated. She could be the one betraying us. You are weak, sick. How do you know she hasn't poisoned you? How can we be sure that she isn't Tal
Shiar?"
"How indeed?" A new
voice sounded from behind him. "If
it's any help, she isn't."
Talmek whirled, his hand
reaching for his disruptor. A woman
stood at the cave entrance. She pointed
a crystalline wand and energy streamed out with a loud wail, knocking Talmek
across the room. Spock stood; ready to
rush to his acolyte's side.
"Do not move." She moved closer. "He isn't dead, just stunned."
The veiled woman moved slowly
around the fire, as if trying to hide behind the small flames from the
stranger.
Spock studied the woman that
threatened him. She appeared to be
Romulan, but her tawny hair and vaguely feline features made her look more
exotic, more dangerous. "Do I know
you, Madame?"
She grinned. The expression was in no way friendly. "You might say that."
"Have I injured you in
some way?" He saw the veiled woman
reach for one of the stones that ringed the fire pit.
"Put it down," the
intruder ordered. "You may not be
Tal Shiar, but you are certainly as dangerous."
"How do you know who or
what she is?"
"Because I happen to be
on very good terms with the Tal Shiar and they've been tracking her since she
arrived on Romulus." She smiled
when Spock glanced quickly at the woman.
"That's right. This one's no
native. You really should be more
careful, Spock. Anyone could infiltrate
your little group."
The woman rose slowly from
the fire. She had not dropped the rock.
The tawny one smiled
again. "I don't want to hurt you,
but I will."
The woman did not stop moving
toward her.
"Take off your veil
then, if it's to be war between us. Let
me see your face."
Spock watched as the woman
ripped off the cloth that had hidden her face.
He felt a shock as she glanced at him.
"Saavik?"
"Hello,
Spock." She pulled a dagger out
from somewhere in her uniform.
"It's time to give this up and come home. But we can discuss that later. Once I deal with...whoever she is."
"Have you forgotten that
I hold the energy weapon?" the woman asked.
"No. Actually I haven't." Saavik flung the knife, the blade whipping
through the air, perfectly aimed.
The other woman dodged,
moving fast enough that the dagger missed her chest but not quickly enough to
get away entirely. The knife sank into
her arm; she did not cry out. "A
fine blade," she said paying absolutely no attention to the emerald blood
that streamed down her arm.
Saavik took a step back.
The woman raised her
weapon. "I shall treasure it
always." The wand screamed and the
beam knocked Saavik even farther into the caverns than it had Talmek. She fell, her body hidden by the tunnel wall.
Spock was already moving to
her when a shock wave knocked him to the ground. He looked over to see the woman also
fall.
She was cursing in a
strangely human manner. "Damn
them. What part of 'Give me half an
hour' didn't they understand?" She
rose to her knees, shaking her head as if to clear it.
Spock hoped that she no
longer held the wand. Trying to see
through the smoke, he began to crawl to Saavik.
He heard footsteps coming, felt strong arms pulling him to his feet.
"No. You're coming with me."
He looked up at a hazy
figure. Why did her voice suddenly seem
familiar? "Who are you?"
"Don't you recognize me,
Father?"
"Valeris?" he said,
barely getting the words out as another spasm of coughing took him. He tried to make out her face, but it was
becoming hazy.
"Time to get out of
here, Spock," she said, her voice fading as another shock wave pummeled
them. She looked over at Saavik and
frowned. Releasing Spock, she walked
over to the fallen woman and pushed her into the tunnel. She raised the wand and made a small
adjustment, firing at the rock arch. It
fell in a shower of smaller stones, sealing the entrance to the tunnel.
"Saavik," he
rasped.
"There's a way out,
it'll just take her a while to find it.
Safer than being found by the Tal Shiar, in any case." She kneeled down next to Spock. "Let's go," she said, as she
touched a badge on her shirt and a transporter carried them away.
They rematerialized in
sunshine. Spock's eyes, accustomed for
so long now only to the dim glow of the caverns, burned in the bright light
until the membrane that served as an extra eyelid slammed down in self-defense,
leaving him blind. He struggled to get
up as another coughing fit came over him, then sank back to the grass when the
last of his strength gave out. Just
before he lost consciousness, he thought he heard the cry of a hawk.
----------------------
Rise stood in the doorway,
watching Jorase tend to Spock. Her
servant wiped the grime from Spock's face as he tossed in what Rise could only
suppose were fever-ridden dreams. Hope
they sting, she thought, feeling her heart harden as she stared at the man who
had sired her.
Jorase looked over at
her. "He is very sick."
"I know." Rise went to the humidifier, added a few
drops of the aromatic oil that already scented the air in the small
bedroom. "It is his own fault. He stayed too long in the caverns. Only he'd think that he would be immune to
the metals and chemicals trapped there."
Jorase grimaced, the act
crumpling her already mangled face even more.
"A tincture of hennesbore might help him."
Rise nodded absently. "Do what you think best. The Tal Shiar want him alive."
Jorase hurried out of the
room to get the medicine. Rise took her
place, sitting next to Spock and sponging his face. As she moved, her arm twinged in pain in the
place where Saavik's dagger had hit. She
tried to ignore the pain as she worked.
Jorase came back in with the bottle and Rise stood, backing away even as
her servant dribbled some of the tincture into Spock's mouth.
"Let me know if he
wakes."
"Yes, mistress."
Rise turned and walked out
into the hall. She went into her own
bedroom and stared at herself in the mirror.
She looked nothing like the woman Spock had known. Nor like the human woman she had tried to
become when Cameron had helped her escape from the Federation prison after the
Khittomer assassination attempt had failed.
She reached up and touched the tawny hair that grew so wild and untamed
then walked over to her bedside table to pick up the holo of Cameron and
her. It had been taken just after they
had finished the genetic tinkering that had changed him slightly and utterly
transformed her. Rise touched her
smiling image, all blue eyes, pale blonde hair, and ivory skin. And lovely rounded ears. Even her blood...she sighed. Even her blood had been altered. For such a short time, she had bled crimson.
She put the holo down. Tried not to remember the day she had cut
herself and seen the green blood pool on her skin. She had screamed and Cameron had come
running. They had tried to find the doctors
that had worked on them but genetic experimentation was strictly prohibited and
these particular practitioners had moved on.
All of Rise's money couldn't find them.
Probably killed by another
unhappy client, she thought bitterly as she ran her finger over the points of
her ears. She had found the last
location the doctors had practiced and had read some of their records. Learned that they had used more than just
human DNA in their experiments. They had
employed whatever genetic material they had thought would prove useful. Like modern Circes they had combined Rise's
human genes with felinoid ones. Rise
supposed she should be grateful that it had been that animal and not
another. For if she was now a monster,
she was a lovely one. Exotic. Striking.
Romulans often stopped on the street to stare at her. Some had even walked up to her, touching the
wild mane that had been such lovely blonde hair and black hair before that. Her skin color was a shade tanner than most
Romulans or Vulcans and her eyes had shifted to a tawny amber. She truly did look like a cat. Beautiful.
And felines were popular on
Romulus. Well with most of the populace,
she reminded herself, thinking of her Tal Shiar contact and her dislike of the
graceful creatures although she didn't seem to have any such problems with
Rise. Or Sureya as she was known now.
"Mistress?" Jorase
called out from the doorway. "He is
awake."
Rise put down the
picture.
"I'll just get some food
for him," Jorase said, turning away.
"He looks starved."
"It is a look he no
doubt embraces," Rise countered but she didn't try to stop Jorase. She took a deep breath and walked back into
Spock's bedroom.
His eyes were surprisingly
alert for someone in his condition. He
stared at her. "Valeris?"
"I go by Sureya
here."
"Not Rise."
"Nobody calls me that
anymore," she said, trying to stop the pain that came from the thought of
all of those that had called her that...all lost now.
"I will not call you
Sureya."
She shrugged.
"So either I call you
Valeris or Rise."
"Why don't you just call
me 'Captor,' Spock?" She sat down
in the chair next to the bed.
He had to shift to see her
face. "I am your prisoner?"
"What did you
think? That you were my honored
guest?" She laughed, the sound
calculatedly bitter.
"I have not had time to
analyze the situation."
"Ah." She leaned back in the chair. "Well, analyze away, Spock. We have nothing but time now."
He studied her.
She looked back, keeping her
expression bland. "Why don't you
just ask me why I look like this?"
"I assume you did this
to better hide your whereabouts after Khittomer."
She laughed again. "I didn't do 'this' at all. What I did was to try to wipe out anything in
me that was Vulcan. Succeeded for a while
too. I was human. Fully human.
The process was imperfect though, and Vulcan blood will out
apparently. This is the final
product." She touched her
face.
"Little cat," he
said, but the words held none of the fondness they had when he would call Saavik
the same thing.
"Don't call me
that."
"As you will,
Rise."
She felt irritation
rise. He was in no position to bait
her. "You forget yourself,
sir." She stood slowly, gracefully. "The Tal Shiar could come at any
time. You are here on my forbearance
only."
"Illogical. You and the Tal Shiar must both want me here
or I would not now be in this bed, in this room, in your house." He smiled slightly, the expression mocking. "If the Tal Shiar meant to take me away
from here, I would be in their custody by now."
She walked to the
window. "You are right. Still so smart." She looked up at the sky where a shiarawk was
circling. Opening the window, she leaned
out and whistled shrilly.
The hawk called back. Rise smiled as the bird soared toward
her. At the last possible moment, the
shiarawk pulled up, narrowly missing the window and roof. She could hear his delight as he sent her, *I
fly.*
*Yes, my beauty, you fly.*
"A shiarawk?"
She nodded. "His name is Shiansu. Though he flies free he is mine. He's sired most of my clutches."
"Shiarawks are most
valuable."
She turned to him. "Everything here is valuable,
Spock. I am very rich."
"Rich enough to afford
the symbol of the Tal Shiar?
Impressive."
"Not really. I train them for those who can also afford to
fly a shiarawk. It is all the rage
nowadays...my birds are the best trained, the most beautiful. And of course the most expensive. Very much in demand." She looked down at the mews. "I have been successful at breeding the
Romulan falcon too." She almost
forgot who she was talking to as she lost herself in the subject. "They are difficult to breed in
captivity and even more difficult to train.
Only the richest houses can afford one.
Though few want them. They are
nearly impossible to hunt with. I have a
male that I think might condescend to hunt for me, but the rest refuse to
cooperate."
He seemed taken aback.
She shook her head. "A side of me you didn't know, I
guess. I probably should have been a
vet, or worked with animals in some way.
If I had taken that path, think how different our lives would have
been."
"If your mother had let
me know of your existence, our lives would have been even more different."
Rise bristled. "Leave her out of this."
"She should have told me
that I had a daughter."
"She had her reasons for
keeping me secret." Rise would
never tell him that over the years she had come to agree with him...that her
mother's actions had only made things worse.
But loyalty to her mother would keep her silent on that score
forever.
"Not very good
ones," he said, shifting to get comfortable. "But I can see that discussing her will
get us nowhere. Why are you keeping me
for the Tal Shiar?"
Rise smiled. "You'll find out." She heard Jorase coming up the stairs. "Your dinner is here. I will leave you to eat in peace." She turned to walk out.
"Have they always known
where I was?"
She looked back at him. "The Tal Shiar?"
He nodded.
"They knew you were in
the caverns. They did not know exactly
where."
"Yet you found us?"
"It took a while. I had to wait till the pain you felt from
your sickness grew bad enough."
He frowned. "I do not understand."
"I can feel
you." She closed her eyes,
relishing this moment. She'd been
waiting for it for so long. "I've
been able to feel your emotions since I first escaped. Then it was pure rage that I had gotten
away. That did you no credit,
Father."
His eyes narrowed.
"Let's see, after that
there was Kirk's death, Amanda's illness, a Pon Farr--nastily timed, thank god
for Saavik's willingness to bail you out especially since I was no longer an
option." She knew she was
sneering. "Then there was your anger
at Sarek's remarriage, your final falling out with him, more Pon Farrs--this
time safely planned so poor Saavik was spared the duty--your betrayal by
Pardek, hearing that Kirk had been rescued only to die again. Do I really need to go on?"
He was staring at her aghast.
"I can tell you
everything you felt in those moments. The
crushing grief each time you lost Kirk.
The guilty relief when Amanda finally moved beyond the pain." Rise looked down. "I'm sorry for that. She was always kind to me."
"You cannot know these
things."
"Did you never wonder if
you had left anything of yourself behind when you raped my mind? When you tore your way through it to steal my
memories?"
He looked at her in dawning
horror. "I would have known."
She laughed bitterly. "Oh, don't look so appalled. It's not a bond. Just a resonance, a link of some kind. It only works with strong emotion, pain
especially. Your pain, obviously, for
you couldn't be this surprised if you had felt any of mine. I had no choice...I lived your life's highest
and lowest points. For seventy
years. Think about that."
"I had no
idea." He looked down.
"Obviously." She moved aside so that Jorase could bring in
his dinner tray. "Enjoy your meal,
Father."
-----------------------------
Saavik woke with a
groan. At first she thought she'd gone
blind, then she realized that wherever she was, it was completely dark. She reached out slowly. Her right hand connected with stone. Her left hand just kept reaching. She reached above her, and finding that the
ceiling wasn't within reach, stood gingerly, feeling for the top of the tunnel
or cell or wherever she was. She rose
all the way without hitting the ceiling.
She felt with her foot. The ground seemed solid. Then she caught the familiar chemical reek
that had been her constant companion for the months she had traveled silently
with Spock. So she was still in the
caverns then. She remembered the strange
woman that had attacked them. Saavik had
assumed she was Tal Shiar. But why would
a Tal Shiar operative leave her here?
Saavik reached under her
shirt and felt the pouch she'd strapped to her body. She pulled out a small light, turning it on
and blinking in the suddenly too bright light.
She was in a tunnel. The wall to
her right looked like a recent cave in.
Had the woman done that? And
why? It made no sense.
"Damn it, Spock. Why couldn't you just come home on your
own?" Saavik muttered as she pulled out a small compass. The odd fields in the cavern played havoc
with it. "Damn it," she said
again as she stuffed it back into the pouch.
She reached for her dagger then remembered throwing it at the
woman.
I'll just have to get it
back, Saavik thought grimly, well aware that she had no idea where the woman
had gone. But wherever it was, she had
probably taken Spock with her. Saavik
smiled grimly. How hard could it be to
find a Romulan woman that looked and moved like a cat?
She had to backtrack several
times but Saavik finally found one of the main tunnels to the surface. She waited until she was sure that no one was
watching her, then slipped out of the tunnel.
She walked with purpose, just
another Romulan on her way to work. Her
clothing blended, she looked the part, and if challenged her accent would not
give her away.
She kept walking until she
came to the house that Talmek had used occasionally as a meeting place. The building was overrun with Tal Shiar. She kept walking, no different than any of
the other curious passersby. Three
blocks over was a merchant that had been sympathetic to Spock's cause in the
past. As she rounded the corner, she saw
that it too was full of Tal Shiar agents.
It's a roundup, she
realized. This was all planned. Spock might be in custody already. She had to find the strange cat woman. Sooner rather than later.
Like some form of feline herself,
Saavik disappeared into the crowd and began her hunt.
------------********-------------------
Spock watched as Rise's
servant filled his glass with fresh water.
"There you go, sir. Will you be wanting anything else?"
Spock ignored the question. "I'm her father. Are you aware of that?" He watched for the reaction.
There was none. "That's her business, sir." She reached for his breakfast tray. "Can't see that she's mistreating you."
He stared up at her
face. "She's mistreated you though,
hasn't she?"
She looked up at him and
actually laughed. "You think she
did this to me?" She straightened
and touched her mangled flesh. "After
the accident, Mistress Rise was the first person to look at me and not shrink
back. To treat me like a person and not
a monster." She snatched the tray
from his lap. "So don't think you
can turn me. I'd sooner die for
her."
Spock watched her go, leaning
back against the pillows. Too much
talking tired him and brought the coughing on.
And lately, too much talking seemed to be only a few words. He shifted repeatedly, not finding a
comfortable spot. Finally, he closed his
eyes to doze. When he opened them again,
it was full dark.
"You slept a long
time." Rise stared at him from the
chair across the room. A single candle
on the bedside table lit the room.
She played with something
around her neck. When she saw he was
staring at it, she held it out. "It
was Cameron's."
The name wasn't
familiar. He shook his head.
"He was the one that got
me out of prison." She smiled
softly. "He was the father I never
had."
He did not give her the
satisfaction of looking away.
"He wore this garnet in
a ring. I had the stone reset when he
died. I never take it off."
"What do you want of me,
Rise?"
"I want nothing,
Spock. Trust me on that."
"Then why bring me here
if not to exact some form of revenge on me?"
"Helping the Tal Shiar
work against you is my revenge."
"And how do you intend
to do that? Other than keeping me
here?" he asked, hoping to draw her out.
She smiled. "You shall see. In good time." She rose and picked up a small bottle. Opening it, she filled a dropper with the
amber contents and held it to his mouth.
"This will ease your cough."
"Not poison?"
She shrugged. "Why would I try to poison you with
this? If I wanted to kill you, you'd be
dead."
"Logical," he
conceded, as he took the dropper and squeezed the liquid into his mouth. It was very bitter but he forced himself to
not grimace as he swallowed it down.
"Done like a true
Vulcan," she said with a mocking smile.
"Is it just me you hate,
or all Vulcans?"
She shrugged again.
"I did not know you were
my daughter. I would never have--"
"--I do not wish to
discuss it, Spock." She began to
rise.
He held out his hand. "We shall not speak of it
then." When she did not sit, he
said, "Stay?"
"Stay? Why?"
But she sat back down. "Are
you actually enjoying our little chats?
I always suspected there was something of the masochist in you."
"Does that mean there is
something of the sadist in you?"
She stared at him, then
smiled harshly. "If there is, I got
it from you, Daddy."
He took a deep breath.
"How odd that
sounds. Daddy. I imagine that I would never have called you
that."
He didn't answer.
"Sure you don't want me
to go?"
He searched for a safer
subject. "Your servant?"
"Jorase."
"Yes. What happened to her?"
"I found her on one of
the first worlds Cameron and I settled.
She had been injured in a factory there. Slipped and fell into one of the
machines. She actually looks much better
than when I first met her." Rise
seemed very far away. "She had run
out of money, had no family to help her.
She was begging on the streets when I nearly ran her over with my flitter. I took her in, at first just intending to get
her something to eat, but she was so grateful...and then so useful. She has been with me ever since."
"She is very
loyal."
"Tried to turn her, did
you?" Rise smiled and Spock
realized it was the first real smile he'd seen from her. Her attention was captured by something at
the door and she bent down, rubbing her fingers together. A black cat stalked in, followed by three
kittens. "Freya! Where have you been? I thought Shiansu had gotten you, you silly
thing."
Spock remembered his mother
having a cat named Freya about the time Valeris had come into his life. He watched Rise's face as she stroked the cat
and played with the kittens, chuckling softly as they rolled at her feet,
swatting at her fingers. Her expression
was transformed for a moment, then she looked up and saw that he was watching
her and the pleasant look was replaced with something sterner.
"Do not think me
weak," she warned. She got up
quickly and walked out of the room, the cat following her out with the kittens
gamboling behind.
----------------------------
"So which one is
mine?" Sela shielded her eyes,
watching the two birds circling high above.
"I haven't decided
yet." Rise held out her arm, the
heavy glove protecting her flesh from the ripping talons of the bird that sat
waiting to be flown. *Ready?* she sent
to the shiarawk.
The bird screamed and
shifted, his wings coming up slightly in his excitement to fly.
Rise nodded at Keltun, her
Romulan assistant. He swung the lure
high and fast then snapped it hard. The
fresh carcass went flying into the high grass at the edge of the estate.
"Go," she told the
bird as she flung him up and out.
Two powerful wing beats and
the hawk was heading for the grass, flying in straight and low, his progress
toward the carcass incredibly fast. Rise
leaned back and sighed in satisfaction.
This young bird was one of the best she'd bred yet. There wasn't a wasted motion as he took the
carcass, the impact of the 'kill' would have broken the back of the rodent had
it still been living.
"Amazing," Sela
said next to her. "Such a fine
symbol." She smiled at Rise. "Your birds are always the best, even
better than those who have been doing this forever. How can that be, Sureya? What's your secret?"
Rise smiled. "They like me."
Sela shot her a skeptical
look. "That's it? They like you?" She laughed and reached for Rise's hand. "Well, I like you too, Sureya, but I
defy you to train me."
"You're
untrainable," Rise agreed, gently pulling her hand away.
"You used to like it
when I did that."
"We said no
expectations." Rise watched as
Keltun approached the shiarawk. The bird
was busily eating, its wings mantling the carcass to keep it out of the sight
of the other birds above. She called out to her assistant, "He likes this
one. We'll use it from now on in the
lures. Let him finish. I want him to have a taste for it."
"There is a difference
between no expectations and no fun," Sela said with a pout.
"Perhaps we have
different needs for fun?"
"I think we were pretty
much of one mind on that when we started."
Sela smiled as she again turned her eyes to the skies. "They're beautiful."
"They are," Rise
agreed. She held her arm out and
whistled loudly. One of the shiarawks
began to circle lower and lower. Finally
she came to rest on the glove, back winging to get her balance. *Pretty girl,* Rise sent her as she touched
the back of her head.
The bird cocked her neck,
allowing Rise to scratch the side of her neck.
The assistant came up and
Rise handed the shiarawk over to him.
She saw that the hawk on the ground was finished eating and walked over
to him. He looked up at her, then past her
to the sky. *I know you'd like to fly,
little one. But not yet. You're not ready.*
His shrill scream was a
definite argument. He extended his wings
and took a few jumps.
"Looks like someone
isn't going to come quietly," Sela called out to her.
"He'll come," Rise
said as she watched the bird launch himself into the air and speed away.
*Shiansu,* she sent to the
bird that remained in the sky.
*I get,* he answered her, as
he set off after the younger bird.
"I forget sometimes
they're essentially wild. They seem to
enjoy their partnership with you."
Rise smiled. "That is the idea."
Sela turned away and looked
in the shed next to the mews. A chorus
of barks and other cries greeted her.
"Your collection has grown since the last time I was here."
"People keep bringing
them to me," Rise said as she watched Shiansu begin to drive the other
bird back toward her.
"But most of these
aren't Romulan."
"You're right. It seems like wherever I've lived, I've
managed to attract stray canids and felines.
I've given up calling them anything but dogs or cats."
"So many cats,"
Sela said with a shudder.
"You hate them, yet you
like me, and I've been told I look like one."
"Your face does. But I'm willing to overlook that. Other places you look pretty much like any
other Romulan." Sela shot her a
lascivious glance.
Rise just shook her head, a
slight smile playing at her lips.
*We come,* Shiansu's
mindvoice sounded. The young hawk landed
with an angry cry on the grass in front of her.
Shiansu flew by, his wings causing a caress of air as she passed. *Young bird, silly bird,* he sent her.
*Yes, very young. Thank you for getting him,* she replied,
smiling at the smug tone in the older bird's mental cry. She held her glove out to her runaway and he
hopped up on her arm. *Sorry, friend. Maybe someday you'll get to fly free like
your father, but not just yet.*
He screeched and flapped his
wings. Shiansu screamed from the sky and
the younger bird settled down quickly.
She carried him into the mews and put him into a large cage near the
front.
Sela stood at the entrance,
watching her. "And how's your
prisoner?"
"Sick." Rise locked the door and put the glove
away. "Sicker than he
realizes."
"Only a fool would stay
in the caverns as long as he did."
"He isn't a fool. Arrogant but not foolish." Rise tried to walk past Sela but the woman
put her arm up.
"No, you're right. A fool wouldn't be as dangerous to our people
as he is." Sela nuzzled Rise's
neck, stopping only when her communicator buzzed. "Yes?
Very good." She smiled and
dropped her arm as she instructed Rise, "Go get him, it's time."
Rise hurried away and into
the house. She grabbed the transporter
controller then stopped at the main door to drop the estate's defenses on the
side near the mews. Then she slowly
climbed the stairs and walked into Spock's room as if nothing were amiss.
He was dressed in the robe
she had left for him and was sitting in the chair, reading. "Rise."
"You are better
today. Our tonics do you some good after
all."
He nodded.
"You must take some
air. It will help in your
recovery."
"I am fine here."
"But there is something
I want to show you. Something
important." She deliberately chose
the tone of voice she had used so long ago on him, when she was Valeris and there
was nothing he wouldn't do for her.
He stood slowly. "If you insist."
She saw him sway. "We'll skip the stairs," she said,
taking his arm and hitting her transporter.
A shimmer and a moment later, they were deposited on the grass outside
the mews.
Spock looked around,
"What did you wish to show me? Your
birds?"
She shook her head.
"Something more
interesting," Sela said, walking out of the animal's shed. She walked to where they stood and leaned up
to give him a kiss on the cheek. Then she
let out a peal of laugher and said loudly, "Oh, Spock, you say the most
droll things. It's what I've always
loved about you."
Rise took his arm, looking up
at him with an expression of adoration.
He looked at them as if
they'd gone mad. "What are you
doing?"
A rustling in the grass
behind the mews caught his attention.
Talmek stood watching them.
"You betrayed us?" his voice sounded loudly from the edge of
the property. "All this time...a
lie?"
"Stop him," Sela
yelled to soldiers that appeared from the front of the house. "He must not be allowed to compromise
Spock!" Under her breath, she
continued, "How inconvenient that he escaped so close to where you were
being held. What are the odds?"
Spock tried to pull away but
Rise held him with an iron hand. He
called out to his assistant, "Talmek, this is not what it
appears." His voice was weak and it
was not clear if the young Romulan had even heard him.
"Traitor," Talmek
yelled at him before taking off running.
The soldiers began to fire,
yelling for the man to stop.
"Your soldiers are
remarkably bad shots," Spock observed.
"Or they've been instructed to allow him to escape."
"How else would the
story get out--that you are in league with us--if he does not get
away?" Sela's smile was
triumphant. "Your influence has
been a problem. Your death would have
made you a martyr. We couldn't have
that. Much better to discredit
you."
Rise felt him sag and glanced
at Sela. "And we have done so. Now he must rest."
Sela shot her a surprised
look.
"He is sick. All has gone according to your plan. Be happy, Sela." Rise saw her nod finally. She reached for her vest and touched the
transporter button.
As they appeared in Spock's
room, she heard him say, "So this is your revenge?"
"No, Spock. This is politics. Nothing more."
"You derive no
satisfaction from it?"
She eased him down onto the
bed. "I didn't say that."
He began to cough--the
wracking heaves causing him to fight for breath. He reached for a tissue and held it to his
mouth. It came away bright green. He stared at it, then looked at her.
"The caverns are a
dumping ground for waste, Spock. The
atmosphere down there is poisonous. The
deeper you go the more toxic it becomes.
You spent too much time there."
"I am dying?" He sounded resigned.
She nodded.
"That's why they do this
now. Before I can die for my
cause."
"Times are hard for the
Tal Shiar right now. They are fighting
for existence, even though that may not be apparent to anyone on the outside. You are a threat to them. Alive or dead. Only here, discredited and muzzled can they
be sure you will not interfere with their work."
"So you are the one to
betray me...again. Did they bring you to
Romulus just for that purpose? Or did
you hear of their plan and rush to join in?"
"My reasons for coming
to Romulus had nothing to do with you."
She thought of the mad flight she had undertaken when Cameron had
died. Romulus had welcomed her. And held no memories. And then there had been the birds and later
the other animals. "I found peace
here."
"Peace?"
She nodded. "What I do now, I do as a favor for a
friend. Nothing more. Once you die, I will go back to my normal
existence."
"So you plan to keep me
here until my death?"
She nodded.
"How long do I
have?"
"I don't know. The damage to your lungs cannot be
reversed. But it could be months or even
years before it kills you."
"Or weeks or days?"
"Yes."
He leaned back against the
pillow. His eyes were empty of
emotion. "I find that it matters
little to me now." He looked
away. "I imagine you feel the same
way."
It was not a question and she
did not bother to argue. She quietly
left his room and closed the door.
Jorase was standing in the
hall. "Why do you hate him
so?"
Rise shook her head and tried
to walk past.
Jorase reached out and
stopped her. "Mistress, this isn't
the real you...the woman that takes in every hurt or lost animal that comes
along. And not the woman that took me
in."
Rise shook her head. "Leave it alone, Jorase. There is too much history between him and me
to ever explain it to you." She
looked back at Spock's door. "He is
getting sicker. Attend to him?"
Jorase nodded, a sad look on
her face. Rise, eager to get away from
Spock, hurried past her and outside to the waiting animals.
------------*******-----------------
Saavik studied the estate
that spread out before her. It had taken
her two days to find out the identity of the woman who had taken Spock and
another three days to reach where she lived.
There was a fence that looked as if it was more for decoration than
anything else but she'd been warned by those who had told her where to find
Sureya that the estate was known for its state-of-the-art defenses. She wasn't going to blow it now by tripping
some alarm accidentally.
She pulled out a small
tricorder and turned it on, scanning softly.
The estate might look pristine but it was laced with a variety of
sensors and alarms. The intricately
carved front gate was generating a field of enormous power. Saavik crawled back a few meters in the
grass. How was she going to get in?
A sudden shriek overhead made
her jump. She looked up and saw a
Romulan hawk soaring. It landed on a
tree and stared down at her. It screamed
again and again. Saavik had the feeling
that it was trying to give away her position.
"I'm not food," she
muttered. "Go away, bird."
The hawk screamed again. Saavik looked up just in time to see it dive
at her. She rolled and tucked, keeping
herself hidden in the tall grass. She
felt the whoosh of wings, passing just short of her. She waited for the bird to dive again but it
didn't. Tentatively she looked up.
"The next time he won't
miss," said Sureya, who was now standing at the front gate. "He doesn't like intruders."
Saavik stood up slowly,
brushing off her clothes and using the motion as an excuse to make sure the
disruptor and knife she'd obtained were still safely hidden.
"Welcome to my house,
Saavik."
"How do you know my
name?" Saavik asked as she walked to the gate.
"Because I know
you." The woman hit a panel and the
forcefield dropped. Several dog-like
creatures that had been playing at her feet ran out toward Saavik.
She tensed, then realized
that their barks weren't threatening when one of them knelt down in a play pose
and whined. She looked at the other
woman in query.
"They're friendly. Here throw this for them." The woman tossed Saavik a ball. "Back inside the compound, if you don't
mind."
Saavik lobbed the ball back
through the gate. The dogs chased after
it, barking frenetically.
"Well, come in."
Saavik didn't move.
"Suit yourself. But if you want to see Spock, you'll come
in."
"He's alive?"
"So far," the woman
said in an unconcerned voice. "That
could change at any moment."
Saavik walked through the
gate. She felt something tug at her
weapons and looked down.
"I'm very rich,
Saavik. There are few things I can't
afford in this defense system." The
woman held her disruptor and knife. She
tossed them into a slot and they were destroyed. "You won't be needing those."
Saavik felt her hands
clenching. "You're right, I don't
need those to kill you and take him away."
The woman turned. "I made sure the Tal Shiar didn't catch
you in the caverns. The way I see it,
you owe me."
"Owe you?"
"For your
life."
Saavik noticed the slight
scar on the woman's arm where her dagger had stabbed her. "You heal fast."
"Yes. I do."
"Who are you?"
The woman picked up the ball
one of the dogs had dropped at her feet and threw it hard. She looked back at Saavik. "My name here is Sureya. You knew me as Valeris. Spock's taken to calling me Rise, which is my
real name. So if you want to call me
that, I suppose you can." She
started walking back to the house.
"Come on, I think he's still awake."
Saavik just stared at
her. "Valeris?" Rise didn't wait for her and Saavik hurried
to catch up with her. "You betrayed
him again?"
"Yes, I did."
Saavik grabbed her by the arm
roughly, pulling her up shortly.
A shriek from above sounded
and Rise smiled warningly. "I
wouldn't do that. Unless you relish a
shiarawk attacking you? He's very protective
of me."
Saavik let go.
Rise spun and kept
walking. "Hurry up, Saavik. I'm sure Spock will be so happy to see
you."
Saavik followed Rise into the
courtyard the fronted the house. A
fountain ran, the sound of water dropping down its many levels providing soft
background noise. Flowers grew and there
were benches scattered around the area.
A black cat sunned herself on the slate walkway while three kittens
played around her.
"Freya, you're a fool to
bring them out when Shiansu is in this kind of mood." Rise frowned and picked up the kittens,
handing them to Saavik, and then scooping up the cat. "Bring them inside," she said, as
if Saavik were just a normal guest being impressed into temporary rescue
service. One of the kittens, black like
its mother, pushed under her chin and began to lick her neck. It tickled and Saavik made a sound.
Rise looked back and
smiled. "She likes you." She let the door close and put the cat
down. "No accounting for taste, I
guess." Her tone was gentler than
her words.
Saavik set the other two
kittens down but the little black one didn't want to budge. Rise stepped in and gently pried the claws
out of Saavik's clothing and skin.
"You look like a
cat," Saavik realized.
"So I've been
told." Rise put the kitten down
then walked up the stairs. "He's up
here."
Saavik followed her up and
was surprised to see Spock lying unrestrained in a comfortable room. "A prisoner?"
Spock looked up, a mixture of
welcome and warning on his face.
"Some prisons are more pleasant than others, little cat."
Saavik saw Rise's eyes narrow
at the endearment. "Are you all
right, Spock?"
He nodded. Then he looked at Rise. Their eyes held for a long time before she
finally looked away. He almost smiled. "Other than dying. I am all right other than that."
"Dying?" She grabbed Rise. "What have you done?"
"It is not her,
Saavikam," Spock tried to get up and was overcome by a coughing fit.
Saavik let go of Rise and
rushed to him, easing him back down against the pillows.
"He has spent too much
time in the caverns. The atmosphere down
there is deadly. There is nothing anyone
can do." Rise turned and left the
room.
"I don't believe that,
Spock."
He touched her cheek. "It is true, Saavik."
"So she brought you here
to die in comfort?"
He shook his head. "To discredit me. She is working with the Tal Shiar."
"Why? Hasn't she hurt you enough?"
He looked down. "I never told you the whole truth about
her. I didn't tell anyone, not my mother
and father, not Jim, not you. I was
going to, but when Rise escaped there seemed no point."
"I don't understand."
"Rise is my
daughter."
Saavik stared at him. "But you planned to bond--"
"--I did not know she
was my daughter at the time." His
look was stern.
"But she did? And she was going to allow it?"
He shook his head. "She did not want it."
"How can this be? A daughter you never knew you had?"
"It is a long
story. Suffice it to say that her mother
hid her existence from me."
"Why?"
He shook his head. "She is long dead, Saavik. It is useless to speculate."
"Who was her
mother?"
"Doctor Christine
Chapel. Someone I served with on the
Enterprise."
"A human?"
He nodded. "Rise is mostly human, although you'd
never know it looking at her."
"I'd barely know she was
Vulcan. She looks more Romulan."
"She underwent genetic
modifications to make her appear human.
They didn't hold."
"I wish I could feel bad
for her. But somehow I can't."
He took a deep breath, then
closed his eyes for a moment. "You
should not have come. Why didn't you go
home?"
"And leave you
here?" She smiled. "I'm your rescuer, isn't that what you
used to call me?"
"It is." He looked very far away and she knew that he
was thinking of the Pon Farrs she had helped him through. "But you cannot rescue me this time. I am dying.
I shall not leave this place again."
"But your katra?"
He shook his head.
"Spock, it cannot be
lost. It must not be lost."
"Perhaps I will be able
to give it to you?" He touched her
cheek again. "You will have to
rescue me again, little cat."
"No. This isn't right." She stood up and went out into the hall. "Rise!"
"In here," Rise
called from the bedroom on the other side of the staircase.
Saavik strode in, saw that
Rise had opened the windows to air the room.
A servant that Saavik hadn't noticed before was making up the bed. She tried not to stare at the women's
disfigured face. The woman nodded to
her, then went back to tucking in sheets.
"For me?" Saavik
asked.
Rise nodded.
"So, I'm a prisoner now
too? Along with your father?"
Rise smiled. "So he told you. I wondered if he would."
"He is dying,
Rise."
"I know that."
"He must go home to
Vulcan."
Rise shook her head. "That's impossible."
"Rise, his katra. Do you understand anything about that?"
She nodded. "I studied Vulcan and its traditions
quite a lot when I was young. Spock
should have thought of his katra before he came to Romulus." She turned and walked out of the room.
Saavik followed her down the
stairs, about to argue more but stopped short by the sight of a blonde Romulan
woman standing in the hallway.
"The gate was open. I closed it after me. You're getting careless, Sureya." She pulled Rise to her for a quick kiss, then
turned to stare at Saavik. "Who are
you?"
"She's a guest,
Sela," Rise answered before Saavik could.
"A new friend,
perhaps?" Sela suggested. "How
good a friend?"
"Just a friend,"
Saavik answered in perfect Romulan.
Sela looked at Rise. "I need to speak with you. In the courtyard, if you don't mind."
Rise hesitated and Sela
laughed.
"You don't want to leave
her alone in the house, do you? This
isn't a guest, Sureya. This is
Saavik. Why are you lying to me?"
"I did not lie, I just
didn't tell you her name. And guest is
just a nice way of saying prisoner."
"Is it?" Sela frowned.
"I find it odd that you should have both guardian and ward in the
same house. You aren't going soft, are
you?"
"Of course
not."
"Nothing you're keeping
from me? No little secrets?"
"Don't be silly."
Sela grinned. "Good.
Because you know I'd find out if there were. I have informants all over the
Federation."
"I know."
Sela stared at Saavik. "You would look better in a Romulan
prison." She held up her hand
before Rise could protest. "All in
good time." She touched Rise's face
then pulled her close for a harsh kiss.
"I'll see you soon, love."
Rise didn't move. Once the door closed behind Sela, she wiped
her lips.
"Nice girlfriend."
"She's not my
girlfriend," Rise said, turning on her heel and heading through a door to
the side of the stairs.
"Does she know
that?" Saavik followed her into a
large kitchen. "Tal Shiar. And not all Romulan from the look of her."
"She's half human. But she hates to admit that."
"So she wouldn't like
hearing that you're even more human than she is, would she?"
"Or that I'm
Vulcan. She hates them nearly as
much." Rise looked at her.
"You could have told her. Why
didn't you?"
"You didn't want her to
know who I was. Why not?"
Rise sighed. "I don't want to see you hurt. Sela...Sela likes to hurt things."
"Like you?"
"No. She needs me.
Needs my money, my skill with the birds.
I'm valuable unharmed. But she'd have
no reason not to hurt you."
"What about Spock? Rise, you can't keep Spock here."
"Saavik, go back
upstairs. Sit with Spock."
"Rise!"
Rise turned, her eyes were
full of angry tears that she blinked back relentlessly. "Leave me alone!"
Saavik reached out for her,
intending to press her advantage.
"Rise--"
"--I said, leave me
alone." Rise's amber eyes became
dead, dangerous. "Or I'll kill you
where you stand."
Saavik realized that Rise was
holding the dagger Saavik had used in the caves. She backed away slowly. "My mistake. I thought you still had some humanity left
inside you." She saw her words
strike home, then she turned and hurried out the door and back upstairs to
Spock.
--------------------------
Spock sat up in bed, trying
desperately to stop the coughing that had awakened him from the doze he had
fallen into.
There was a soft knock on the
door before it opened and Rise slipped in, holding a bottle. "I have some new medicine for you. It is much stronger and will help you rest." She carefully poured a measure out for him
and held it to his lips.
He drank it, then sat back,
trying not to cough as the medicine worked.
"You could have just let me suffer." He studied her. "I would think that would give you great
pleasure. To see me in pain."
She didn't look away. "I have seen you in pain, Spock. I've felt your pain...for seventy
years."
He nodded. "I am sorry for that, Rise. Of all the things I have done in my life,
that one act of violence has haunted me the most."
"But would you do it
again?"
"I cannot say that I
would not. It might ease my mind to think
I would not be capable of it, that I am no longer that man. And you are no longer that woman. But would the people we once were do it
again? Probably."
"Yes, I see your
point. I am still Valeris, and Rise, and
Kitt Thompson, and Tash't'ara and for a brief time Calliope Jones, Magda
Cronin, and Inga Swensen." She
shrugged, smiled faintly. "In the
line of business Cameron and I engaged, you couldn't afford to use a name for
very long."
"What did you do?"
She smiled. "Smuggled. Like Shayla."
His eyebrow rose. "Number One as a smuggler. It is actually not that hard to picture her
in that role. She had a profound energy
about her and a great capacity for mischief."
"She did," Rise
agreed. "I forgot that you knew her
too."
"I did. And your mother talked about her. Said that your aunt got the wicked
genes."
Rise looked confused.
"Did you think that your
mother and I never spoke, never conversed?
That there was only the rutting?"
Rise looked down.
"Your mother and
I"--he sighed--"we were never really friends. But there was a time when I tried, when she
did too. We would talk. I remember much from those times."
"But she ran away. You couldn't give her what she needed."
Spock shook his head. "Or she thought I couldn't. I'm no longer sure which is true."
"Did you love her?"
"I do not believe
so."
Rise exhaled loudly and
smiled bitterly. "You do not
believe so? Either you did or you
didn't, Spock."
"It is the best answer I
can give you. I am not sure what would
have happened if we had remained together.
If she had let me know you...be your father. But she didn't." He studied her. "You do not look like her or your
aunt."
She laughed. "No, I look like their tabby."
He felt his own mouth lifting
somewhat. "I meant before. The young girl I knew didn't look like a
Chapel or a Ross."
"I didn't look like you
either."
"No, you did
not." He shook his head, remembered
his plans for her, the feelings he had felt for her. "Had I known..."
She met his eyes. "I know.
I should have told you." She
laughed bitterly.
"It would have changed
much."
"Probably. Would you still have disinherited me, barred
me from your house?" She shook her
head. "I dreamed of meeting up with
you for years after I escaped. Of
walking away from you like you did to me when I was in prison. And now I find myself delivering cough
medicine instead." She shook her
head. "Where is the walking
away?"
"It is ironic."
"Part of me still hates
you though. Nothing ironic about
that."
He considered that. "Does part of you hate Christine as
well?"
She didn't answer right
away. The she nodded slowly.
"She was a good
woman. I'm sure she did what she thought
best. But I still wish she had given me
a chance to be your father." Rise's
expression changed and he realized that the warm sharing was over for now. He continued, "What is, is. I cannot change your mother's actions, nor
can you. It is futile to think of ways
our lives could be different now."
She nodded. "Life is just a series of choices, isn't
it?"
"I think it is. Good ones and bad ones."
She seemed lost in
thought. Then she looked up and said
softly, "Tell me about the katra."
"What do you want to
know?"
"What happens if it is
not taken back to Vulcan?"
"Then the person that
bore it is truly lost." Spock
sighed. "Sometimes it can be
entrusted to another."
"Another person?"
He nodded. " Like Saavik. Or you."
She stood up so abruptly that
the chair nearly tipped over. "Do
not think that I mean to free her or help you myself."
"I thought no such
thing," he said hurriedly.
"You had my mind at your
fingertips once, it will not happen again." She turned and walked out quickly.
He sighed. Regret filled him. It was the emotion that he felt most often
when he looked at her. He wondered if
she could feel what he was feeling.
"So much pain, Rise. So much
hurt."
He lay back against the
pillows. He felt his eyes closing and
the tight feeling in his chest abate somewhat.
A choice, he remembered her
saying that day on the bridge when he had ripped her memories from her. She had been making a choice not to betray
her comrades, and he had made a choice to force her to suffer. So many bad choices. He fell asleep before he could begin
cataloging them.
--------------******---------------------
"You're restless,"
Rise said as she watched Saavik pace.
"I'm fine."
"You're not. You're as fidgety as a cat."
"You ought to
know."
Rise laughed softly.
Saavik glanced over at
her. "He's dying."
"I know." Rise looked over at Spock. He was resting peacefully, the new medicine
giving him enough relief from the coughing to let him sleep.
Saavik walked over to
him. "I don't remember this being
here earlier," she said, as she fingered a heavy blanket.
"He was cold." Rise shrugged.
"And you cared?"
"No. It was Jorase that did." Rise rose.
Saavik was already across the
room, blocking her way out the door.
"It wasn't Jorase, was it?
It was you."
"What of it? He was cold.
I brought a blanket. Hardly
difficult to do the right thing when it is so small."
"Then do the right thing
again. It is just a little bigger of a
thing. Let him go, Rise."
"And why would I do
that?"
"Because it's the right
thing to do. Let him go home. To Vulcan."
"He assures me his
affairs are in order." Rise smiled
sharply. "It might please you to
know that he left you everything. And me
nothing. Not too surprising, I
guess."
"Rise. Please?
I'll give you all of it."
Saavik reached out to touch her hand.
"Stop it, Saavik,"
she said as she pulled away. "I
hardly need anything from him. I have
plenty of my own. And why would I let
him go? If I let him go, he won't stay
on Vulcan and die quietly. We both know
that he'd be right back in the caves, using his last breath to subvert some
young Romulan and training others to take his place." She laughed.
"I promised I'd keep him away from all that. Just what do you think my friends in the Tal
Shiar would think if I just let him go?"
"Keep me as a
hostage. The guarantor of his
silence."
Rise stared at Saavik. "Keep you?"
"Please, Rise. Please let him go."
Rise shook her head and
pushed past Saavik.
"Rise, please--"
"Drop it, Saavik. It's not going to happen."
-------------------------------
Saavik followed Rise around
the courtyard. "Can I help?"
"Yes. You can go back inside and sit with
Spock. Or take a nap. Or write Vulcan poetry. I don't much care. Just leave me alone."
"I just want to help."
"No, you
don't." Rise refilled the water pot
from the fountain and carried it over to some roses. "You just want to wear me down so I'll
let him go. It's not going to
happen."
"Fine. It won't happen."
"Good. We're in agreement. Now go back inside."
Saavik sat down on the bench
and watched Rise as she walked among the plants. Her movements were graceful and
unhurried. "I'm bored, Rise. All these days cooped up inside..."
"Yes, captivity is
boring. You should have thought of that
before you tried to break in here."
"I was rescuing
Spock."
"Uh huh. That went well." Rise laughed.
Saavik wondered if Rise ever
laughed in a way that didn't sound bitter or angry or mocking. "I wasn't counting on you. I thought it was just a rich Romulan."
"As far as anyone knows,
that's what I am."
Saavik shook her head but
didn't argue. She stretched out on the
bench, letting her feet dangle over the side.
She had planned four or five different escapes when she first was taken
captive but one look at Spock, at the way his health was failing before her
eyes, convinced her that he was in no shape for anything but sleep.
As if reading her mind, Rise
said, "He's getting worse."
"I know."
"He'll die soon."
Saavik nodded.
Rise turned to look at
her. "Do you think we have
katras? Mongrels like us? Spock?
You? Me? Are we the same as a full Vulcan?"
Saavik decided she didn't
like the term mongrel. "Spock put
his in Doctor McCoy before he died the first time."
Rise frowned. "I heard that story. I had forgotten it." She seemed deep in thought. "So if he could put it in a full human,
then he could put it in anyone. There
are tradesmen that work the route between Romulus and Vulcan."
Saavik shook her head. "You can't be serious. It should be family or someone very
close. You can't just entrust it to a
random stranger."
"Oh, I see where this is
going. I should let you take it
home? That wouldn't be very smart. You'd be back in no time to make me pay for
my sins." Rise smiled
sardonically. "What if a random
stranger bound for Vulcan is the only option?"
"It can't be."
"It is, Saavik. You can't win." Rise put the watering pot down and picked up
some shears. "Go inside. You're starting to irritate me."
"Just starting?" Saavik said with a mocking smile. "I must be slipping. I have not even begun to irritate you."
"That I
believe." Rise began to prune the
roses, carefully cutting the older blooms for a bouquet and nipping the stalks
back.
Saavik considered the roses,
then began to really look at the flowers that lined the walks in the courtyard,
that climbed the trellises built into the walls of the house. She thought of the beautiful things that
could be found throughout the house.
"You truly are rich, aren't you?"
Rise nodded. "Filthy, I believe, is the exact
term."
"How did you get that
way?"
"Smuggling."
"Smuggling? You mean like drugs and arms?"
Rise shook her head. "Orion Syndicate pretty much has that
wrapped up. We liked to avoid attracting
their attention so we stuck to less volatile cargo."
"Like what?"
Rise looked over, "Like
Kanar to a Cardassian outpost that was routinely forgotten by its
homeworld. Like erotic entertainment to
select occupants of a planet that espoused a more fundamentalist
worldview. Anything one world had in
surplus and another world desperately wanted was fair and lucrative game."
"So you were a
criminal. Not too surprising."
"I prefer to think of it
as free trade."
"I'm sure you do,"
Saavik shot her a mocking grin.
"You said 'we.' Did you mean
Jorase?"
Rise looked away. "No."
"Then who?" When Rise didn't answer, Saavik asked,
"Someone you loved?"
"Yes. Someone I loved."
"They left you?"
Rise laughed, a sound so
brittle it sent chills down Saavik's spine.
"Everyone leaves me, Saavik.
Everyone." Rise set the
shears down and stalked out of the courtyard.
Saavik jumped up to follow,
but the sudden scream of Rise's shiarawk stopped her. She looked up and saw that he was perched on
one of the columns that ringed the courtyard.
"I'm not going to hurt
her," Saavik said as she edged in the direction Rise had gone.
The bird lifted its wings,
clearly ready to fly at her.
"Fine," Saavik said
as she backed away. "Spock probably
needs me anyway." As she hurried
into the house, she could still hear the bird screaming.
----------------------------------
Spock lay sleepless. Another fit of coughing had woken him, the
spasms so intense that he had felt something crack in his chest. He had tried to muffle his coughing, had not
wanted to wake up the women. He thought
he had been successful until a light rap on the door sounded and Rise walked
in.
She held a roll of bandages
and several bottles. "You cracked a
rib," she said matter-of-factly, as she slipped his shirt off him and
began to wind the bandages snugly around his chest.
"How do you know?"
"Because the pain woke
me up." She stopped what she was
doing, stared at him.
He looked down. "I did not know."
"Lucky for you the
connection is one way, Father. You've
never had to feel the pain I've known."
It took him a moment to
realize what she had just called him. He
didn't think she was aware she had done it.
"I'm sorry for that."
She nodded, and resumed
wrapping the bandage around him.
"Wasn't all your fault. In
fact, probably wasn't your fault in most cases." She sighed.
"Your pain is distracting me.
I'm saying things I don't mean."
"Or saying things that
are difficult to say in other circumstances?"
"Like what? That I care about you? This is strictly for my benefit."
"Of course."
She tied off the bandage,
then poured out a measure of the cough medicine. He drank it obediently, barely noticing the
taste. She handed him a second liquid,
this one smelling much sweeter.
"For the pain," she
said. "Drink it up so that I can
get some sleep."
He obeyed and handed back the
cup. The liquid spread warmth through
him. He could feel himself relaxing and
saw Rise's tightly controlled expression also ease.
"Love this stuff,"
she said. "Works so fast. Drowns everything out."
He frowned. "You sound like you know it well? Were you injured?"
She shook her head, her smile
grimly amused. "Injured? No.
Damaged? Yes. This helped me forget."
"Forget what?"
She closed her eyes. Touched the pendant she wore.
"When Cameron died? That is what drove you to it?"
She opened her eyes, realized
that she was fingering the necklace and let it go. "Something like that."
"But you don't use it
now?"
"Not any more. This bottle is only for you. I knew you would get to a point where you'd
need it."
"But you no longer
do?"
Rise looked very far away
when she shook her head. "Someone
helped me get past needing it. Helped me
build a life here."
"Sela?"
Rise nodded.
"She is using you,
Rise."
Rise laughed. "I have no doubt of that. I have never deluded myself that she loves
me. But I was a great find for her. I had money, which the Tal Shiar desperately
needs, having fallen somewhat out of favor with the senate. And later I had the birds, wonderful gifts to
give a high-ranking Tal Shiar official.
A shiarawk can do wonders in helping such men and women forget Sela's
humiliation the last time she met up with you and Picard. She's still living down having been found
unconscious in her office." Rise
stood up. "And then finally, when
she hatched this plan to discredit you, I was useful as her accessory. The means to bring about your fall. I told her you and I had a past." Rise smiled.
"I may have led her to believe that I was a relative of a certain
female commander that you seduced and betrayed so many years ago. Sela wanted to believe me. I offered so much. She never seemed to question my story, though
I'm sure she did some tracing. But what
could she find? That I'd lived off world
nearly all my life? That I had been a
smuggler? I told her all that. The waters of my past get very muddy the
farther back you go."
"So she doesn't know you
were Valeris?"
Rise looked at him
sharply. "No. She doesn't know."
"Or that I am your
father?"
Rise shook her head.
"I was wondering how she
would put those things behind her. Why
she would help you. Now I
understand. She sees you as a loyal
Romulan and a half breed like her."
"Just as we all are,
Spock," Rise said with a sardonic grin, gesturing toward Saavik's
room. "Sela hates being
human."
"It does have its
drawbacks." He smiled
slightly. "So she appreciates
finding another kindred soul that seeks to put everything else aside and live
in the Romulan way. And then there is
that you are also rich."
"Very, very rich. And I am exotic and, according to her,
beautiful. I was just the asset she
needed and so she helped me live again.
She can be surprisingly kind when she wants to."
"She would not be so if
she found out you were Vulcan. She hates
Vulcans. Hates our logic and our
arrogance."
Rise nodded. "I
know. She's told me that. She hates humans too." Rise shrugged. "She has probably run scans on me, to
make sure I'm Romulan. She's not stupid,
despite how easily you tricked her the last time. But my genes are so jumbled now; I doubt that
she could make any sense of them. At the
genetic level, I look as Romulan as I do anything else."
"If I wanted to destroy
you, I could tell her your real origins the next time she's here."
Rise turned to stare at
him. "Yes, that is exactly what you
should do if you want to destroy me."
He lay back. Let his eyes droop. "I find I do not want that,
daughter."
She looked down. "Then you are a fool, Spock."
"No, Rise. I am a man with very little time left. Do not blame me if I want to spend some of
that time trying to build a bridge to the child I did not know I had until it was
too late."
"I am more than just
Rise. I am Valeris as well. Never forget that, Spock."
"I forget nothing,"
he said, as he felt the medicine drawing him towards sleep.
"Neither do I," he
heard her reply just before he surrendered to the darkness.
-----------------------------------
"You helped him last
night, didn't you?"
Rise sighed behind her book
but did not put it down to look at Saavik.
"You say you don't care,
but I heard you get up and go in there."
"He was coughing. It disturbed me."
Saavik laughed. "Right."
Rise lowered her book. "Let it be, Saavik."
"I can't. It makes no sense. You say you hate him, but you are unwilling
to see him suffer. How am I supposed to
understand that?"
Rise realized that Spock had
not told Saavik about the connection he shared with her. "You make it sound as if I'm a villain
in one of these old Romulan novels."
She put down the book. "No
one is purely good or bad. Don't you
know that by now?"
Saavik shrugged. "So far, you don't seem that bad. Well, aside from us being your
prisoners. Not that you're treating us
like prisoners, or that security seems particularly tight here. If Spock weren't so weak..."
Rise ignored the dig. She knew that Saavik would have tried to
escape long before this if Spock had been in any shape to run.
"Did you really believe
in what you did? As Valeris, I
mean?"
Rise nodded, then picked up
her book.
"That's not an
answer," Saavik said.
"I don't have to justify
my actions to you."
"I didn't mean that you
did. But couldn't you try to explain to
me why you did it?"
"Why do you care?"
Saavik didn't answer right
away and Rise put her book down to look at her.
Saavik was sitting with her knees pulled up, her chin resting on them,
apparently deep in thought.
"Saavik?"
She looked up at Rise. "I'm trying to figure out why I
care."
Rise laughed softly then
turned back to her book. "Let me
know if you do."
"What you did was
wrong."
"I considered peace with
the Klingons to be wrong."
"But you were incorrect
in that. Look at how we cooperate
now."
"Yes, but we have had
one war with them already. Who knows how
many deaths on our side we'd have been spared if we'd just let them
die." Rise shrugged. "Even Kirk felt that way initially. It was not an unpopular sentiment, despite
what you may think of my actions."
Rise thought of her mother, of Shayla.
"They killed people I loved."
"They killed someone I
loved too. In cold blood, while I stood
by. You think I didn't have cause to
hate them as well? But what you did
wasn't the answer." Saavik stood
and began to pace.
"It's seventy years
done, Saavik," Rise said gently.
"Valeris was a lifetime ago.
Let her go."
"That would be easier to
do if her successor weren't holding Spock prisoner. If you hadn't betrayed him again."
Rise stared at her. "Why would you expect me to do anything
but betray him?" She closed her
book and stood up. "When have I
ever given you any indication that I was a loyal daughter?" She laughed; the sound was cold and bitter
even to her. "You love him like a
father, and that's good, Saavik. That's
so good. Because I never will. Never."
Saavik reached out for
her. "Rise--"
"--You've said enough,
Saavik. Stop before you go too
far." She pulled away from Saavik's
hand and walked upstairs to check on Spock.
----------******---------------
Saavik followed Rise out into
the courtyard. Freya's black kitten saw
her and bounded over. Unable to resist,
Saavik picked her up and carried her as she followed Rise around the area.
"Saavik, this won't
work. I'm not letting him go."
"Did I say
anything?" Saavik thought it was a
good sign that Rise knew what she wanted before she even said it. Maybe it meant that she was finally
considering it.
"You don't have to. You are as predictable as night following
day."
"He weakens daily. You've surely seen that over the past few
weeks."
"He is dying,
Saavik. Weakening is part of the
process." Rise headed out onto the
grass and turned to go around the corner to the mews and the other building
Saavik had seen from the house.
As usual, when Saavik tried
to follow her, Shiansu screamed at her.
She called to Rise's departing back.
"Stop, dammit!"
Rise turned around to look at
her.
"Rise, I'm bored. Let me come with you today. I'm sick of the house."
Rise just shook her
head. "You can go anywhere you
please, Saavik. Except to the mews and
the shed. Those are my places. Where I can still find peace."
"Whose fault is it that
you can't find it in your own house?"
Rise didn't answer, just
turned around and walked away. Shiansu
hopped to another column, watching her go.
"Damn it all, I don't
care what you say, Rise." Saavik
stepped out of the courtyard and started off after her.
The bird's scream turned even
shriller as he dived at Saavik, barely missing her. She heard the whoosh of air as he
passed. She stopped moving. Shiansu shrieked at her from where he had
perched on the side of the house.
"Fine," Saavik
muttered through tight lips, as she turned and went back to the house. She tried to put the kitten down in the
courtyard but she resisted enough that Saavik gave up and carried her in with
her as she climbed the stairs.
Spock was standing at the
open window. "You press her too
hard, Saavikam."
"You heard that?"
He nodded.
"She has to let you go
back."
He sighed as he turned slowly
and walked back to the bed. "She
will never do that. Better, I think to
work on her to let you go. She is fond
of you, I think."
Saavik laughed. "I'm not sure I would call that
fond." She sat in the chair across
from him.
"She did not have to
protect you in the caverns. But she
did." He leaned forward to pet the
kitten.
"She also didn't have to
add me to her captured prey list, but she did." Saavik smiled at him. "You want to believe there's some good
in her, don't you?"
"Why do you keep trying
to get through to her, if you don't believe it as well?"
Saavik shrugged. "Maybe because I'm as big a fool as you
are?"
Spock leaned back. "Something happened to her. Something to do with someone named
Cameron. He was her surrogate
father."
"I thought West
was?"
"Before West, I
think. And certainly after. He rescued her from prison." Spock frowned slightly, deep in thought. "Something about the way he
died..."
"And you want me to find
out what it was?" Saavik finished for him.
"If you want to
understand her, perhaps it would be wise to start with that. It has something to do with the
pendant."
Saavik leaned back. "I'll try. But she doesn't talk to me much."
Spock smiled, his lips
lifting faintly in what was for him genuine amusement. "You truly don't realize it?"
"Realize what?"
"She talks to you more
than to anyone here. And you, Saavik,
you are positively gregarious around her."
Saavik shifted. "Well, that's because I'm trying to get
her to let us go."
Spock nodded knowingly. "Ah."
"I don't like her,
Spock. She's a monster."
"She is not a
monster. She is a hurt child."
"A hurt child that's
nearly as old as I am."
"Age is irrelevant,
Saavik. Do you never revisit
Hellguard?"
She looked away. He knew that she did. It was no longer as near to the surface as it
had been. No longer threatening to take
over as it had during her childhood on Vulcan.
But it was there. It was
hers. She would never leave Hellguard no
matter how much time and distance she put between herself and that world.
"Have you forgiven her,
Spock?"
"It is not that
simple." He stifled a yawn. "I am tired now."
She left him to rest and
carried the kitten back to the courtyard.
The sun was warm and a slight breeze blew. Saavik sat down on a bench and closed her
eyes while she waited for Rise to come back.
---------------------------
Rise was exhausted. She'd taken her favorite dogs on a very long
walk, then returned for the rest and repeated the experience. Walk, she'd told herself. Walk until you can't think. Walk until you can't feel.
She hadn't expected to find
Saavik curled asleep on the bench. Freya
and her kittens lay under the bench, as deeply asleep as the woman.
Rise took a step toward
Saavik, sure the woman would spring up.
But she didn't. Another step and
Rise was within reach and her hand was touching Saavik's face gently. Her skin was hot from lying unprotected in
the sun.
"Rise?" Saavik looked up at her sleepily.
She pulled her hand away
quickly. "You will get burned,
Saavik."
"I never
burn." She looked at Rise. "You don't either, do you? Not anymore.
Did you as a child?"
"If I went without
sunscreen. My mother and aunt were both
so fair." Rise turned and began to
walk toward the door.
"So you'd burn red? Like your pendant?"
Rise stopped in her tracks.
"Tell me about it? You touch it a lot. It obviously means a great deal to you."
Rise turned to look at
her. Saavik had her hand
outstretched. Slowly, almost against her
will, Rise turned and walked back to her.
She felt Saavik's warm hand touch her own, clasping it tightly, pulling
her toward the bench. She sat, shifting
slightly away from the other woman and pulling her hand away. She was already fingering the garnet, the way
she did all the time but had not really realized until now.
"Rise, it's okay. You can tell me."
She realized she was pulling
the pendant so hard that she was in danger of breaking the chain. She let go of it and began speaking, never
looking at Saavik as she spoke.
"This stone was in a
ring that was worn by someone I cared about."
"Who?"
Rise didn't answer.
"Who?" Saavik
repeated softly.
"His name was Cameron
Jameson. He was my aunt's lover...my
uncle in all but name. He helped me
escape from the Federation after Khittomer.
We made a new life, forged new identities for ourselves. I became his daughter. He was my beloved father. I loved him so."
"Past tense. He's dead?"
Rise nodded, felt the
terrible pain threaten, tried to close down the gates she was opening.
Saavik touched her hand. "Don't shut down, Rise. Tell me."
"It's too hard."
"Have you told
anyone? Ever?"
Rise shook her head.
"Does Jorase know?"
Rise nodded. "She was working for us when it
happened."
"Could she tell
me?"
Rise shook her head. "She never knew the details. I couldn't tell her." Rise blinked back tears. She didn't cry. She did not cry. "It was my fault, you see."
"I don't believe
that."
Rise nodded. "It was my fault. I could have gotten him back." She looked over at Saavik. "I should have gotten him back."
"Gotten him back from
whom?"
Rise felt the past calling,
could still see the barren landscape of the planet they had settled on, still
remember the yells and cries from the wild streets. "We were on Venedia Prime. Have you ever been there?"
Saavik nodded. "Completely lawless."
Rise nodded. "We needed a new base of operations for
our smuggling. The planet we'd been on
had started to crack down on a variety of illegal activities. There was a firefight with the security
forces. We lost most of our personal
guard and had to leave a lot of our valuables behind. Luckily we kept the majority of our fortunes
in less accessible places. But we had to
move fast, so we went to Venedia. We'd
heard that there would be no one there to bother us."
Rise stood up. The pain was too much, she had to move. She began to wander the garden, telling her
story as she went, only vaguely aware that Saavik was following her. "We'd been there a few months. Long enough to know that kidnappings were
commonplace. We'd been on other worlds
where that was the case and we had a rule.
No ransom would be paid.
Ever. Our own security guards
would be used to find the kidnappers. To
make them pay...in a way so harsh that no one else would think of taking one of
us. It had always worked."
"But not this
time?"
Rise shook her head as she
absently pulled dead leaves off one of the plants. "We had hired more security. They were locals that had been recommended to
us." She laughed bitterly. "Recommended I found out later by the
very people that planned the kidnapping.
They took Cameron. Threatened to
kill him if I didn't pay them a substantial amount. They let me talk to him, he told me to play
it the way we always had."
Rise stopped. Took a deep breath before continuing. "But we hadn't really played this out
before, because no one had ever taken one of us. People on our staff, yes, but not us. We'd always been so careful. So I played by the rules we set. I refused to give them anything and sent our
security out after them." She
swallowed hard. "They didn't find
the kidnappers naturally. And the
kidnappers weren't happy with my answer.
They sent me Cameron's finger for identification purposes. It was wearing a garnet ring. His ring.
This garnet."
Saavik didn't say anything,
just stood close to her waiting.
Rise fingered the pendant
again. "I should have paid
them. I should have just paid them. But I kept hearing Cameron's voice saying,
'Once you pay them, Rise, then they know they've got you.' So I didn't.
I sent the guards out for him again.
But they didn't find him. The
next day he was dumped in the marketplace. When the guards brought back his body, it was
barely recognizable, he'd been hurt so."
She tried to block out the memory of what Cameron had looked like or of
the way she had fallen on his body, howling like a wild animal. Jorase had finally injected her with
something to calm her but it had still taken five of the guards to pull her
away from the body and drag her to her bed.
"Rise." Saavik was stroking her hair. "Rise, come back."
Rise jerked away from
Saavik. "I was crazy. I couldn't think. I couldn't eat. For two months. Then an informant came to see me. For a large amount of latinum, he would tell
me who had killed Cameron. I paid him
and he told me of my own security force's involvement, of the duplicity of the
man who had recommended them in the first place."
She walked over to a rose
bush and bent down to smell the pale pink blossom. "I killed them one by one, Saavik. Some died from poison, others met with
terrible accidents while enjoying the night off. Some were at their homes with their
families. I hunted them down and killed
them all in the space of three days. I
told Jorase to pack up our house. Before
we left, I killed the man who had kidnapped Cameron. I left him in the marketplace in the same
shape he had left Cameron. We left
Venedia, Jorase and I and the few people I still trusted from my fleet. Wandered for years. Then we came here. And I fell apart." Saavik took a step toward her, but Rise
backed up and said, "I don't smuggle anymore."
"Rise--"
"I don't need your pity,
Saavik." She started to walk away,
but a movement at the window drew her gaze upward. Spock stood staring down at her. "Could you hear?" she called up to
him. "Did it make you happy to hear
it, Spock?"
"He couldn't have heard
you, Rise. I could barely hear
you." Saavik's voice was soft in
her ear as Rise watched Spock turn away from the window.
Saavik continued, "He
would take no pleasure in your pain, you know that."
Rise kept seeing Cameron's
face. "I never got to say
goodbye." She blinked back tears,
unwilling to let them fall.
"He understood. I'm sure he did."
"You didn't even know
him." Rise looked up at Spock's
window. "He died a
prisoner." She turned to stare
accusingly at Saavik. "Spock told
you to ask me about this."
"No."
"Don't lie to me! He told you, didn't he? You've shown no curiosity about the pendant
before now."
"He was concerned for
you."
"He knew it would
benefit him."
Saavik shook her head. "How could he know that? He knew only that you seemed unable to speak
of it with him."
Rise felt something fill her,
recognized it as defeat. She stared up
at the window for a long time. Finally
she turned to Saavik, her face utterly blank.
"He can go, if you stand as his hostage."
"What?"
"Go tell him. I want your word and his, Saavik, that you
will stay as the guarantor of his silence."
Saavik stood staring dumbly
at her.
"This is what you
wanted, you idiot! Go. Go tell him.
And do it quickly before I change my mind."
Saavik ran into the house as
Rise sank to the graveled path and fought back the tears. "It's the right thing to do,
Cameron," she murmured. "The
only thing to do."
--------------------------------
Spock sat on the bed. He had not been able to hear what Rise was
telling Saavik, but it didn't matter. He
could tell from her body language that it was something terribly hard for her
to speak of, that it had left her shaken.
This had not been a good idea if he had only caused her more pain.
He heard someone pounding up
the stairs. A second later his door was
flung open and Saavik stood staring at him.
"She said you could go if I stay here. As a hostage."
He shook his head. "No, Saavik. Those terms are unacceptable."
Saavik fell to her knees in
front of him. "Spock, think about
what you are saying. Where is the logic
of saying no? I'm already a hostage
here. And your katra--"
"I will never know that
you are all right if I leave you here. I
would rather lose my katra than risk your life."
Saavik looked down. "You have to go, Spock. It's the only thing she can give you. It's the only way she can make it up to
someone else."
He tilted her chin up. "Rise, you mean?"
Saavik nodded.
"I can't leave you
here."
"I'll be all
right."
"Romulan security could
take you away from her. They will not be
pleased to find out I am gone."
Saavik nodded. "I know.
But she will fight for me."
Spock lifted an eyebrow. "You want to stay with her, don't
you?"
"Of course not. I want to be free."
"I wonder." He studied her. "You may be good for her, little
cat. If you were not to be held here as
a prisoner, I might agree."
"It's only until you
die, Spock," Rise said from the doorway.
Her face was expressionless, her voice a strange monotone.
"I might last
months. Even years. You said so yourself."
"Then she stays here
months, even years. I made a promise to
the Tal Shiar."
"And you think that they
will just let her go after I have died?"
He shook his head.
"They have no reason to
hold her. Unlike you, she has done
nothing to the Romulan state."
"I was here without
permission," Saavik offered quietly as she stood up.
"That is not a capital
crime. Especially since you were here to
bring him home." Rise fidgeted
impatiently. "I can take care of
Sela when the time comes. In the
meantime, do you want to go home or not, Spock?"
Saavik nodded at him.
He sighed. "It is the wish of my ward that I do
so."
"Then give me your word
that you will not do anything against the Romulan government when you get
back. That you will not speak of what
has happened. And that you will not
attempt in any way to proselytize to any Romulans." She scowled at Spock. "I know that you will be able to find
some loophole in that. Do not do so, or
I will turn Saavik over to Sela. Do you
understand?"
"I give you my word,
Rise."
"And you." She turned to Saavik. "Give me your word you will stay. That you will not attempt escape. That you agree to be his hostage as long as he
survives."
Saavik nodded.
"Give me your word,
Saavik. A nod is not good enough."
Saavik looked at Spock.
"I can stay here,
Saavik. Perhaps she will let you leave
in my place?"
Rise frowned. "Choose, Saavik. You worked hard for this. But I'm not going to do it just to watch you
try to escape over and over."
"You don't have security
to stop me."
"I have more defenses
than you can imagine. And more ways to
keep you here then you can know. If
there are no guards here, I think you now know why I might not trust my safety
to them."
"Yes, I know
now." Saavik paused,
considering. She finally nodded. "I give you my word."
Rise walked into her bedroom
and came out with a small device.
"It's a camera of sorts.
You've never seen this technology, Spock. No one has." She adjusted some settings, then handed it to
him. "Set this up where you are. I need to be able to see you whenever I
wish."
He wasn't sure he liked this
idea. His expression must have conveyed
his hesitation.
"It's a deal breaker,
Spock. Besides, it will help ease
Saavik's mind if she can see you."
He took the camera.
"Say your goodbyes
now. I'll be back in a few
minutes." She walked out and headed
downstairs.
"Spock." Saavik turned to him. "You're really going home."
"And you are staying
here. It's not too late to change your
mind, Saavik."
She shook her head. "You need to be on Vulcan. For the katra ceremony. They can't afford to lose you. I can't afford to lose you, not again."
He stroked her cheek. "You have always been the one to save
me."
"I owe my life to
you. I know how difficult I made it for
you when I was young and how hard you had to fight for me. I never said thank you. Or told you how much it meant to me."
He allowed himself to
smile. "Yes, you did, Saavik. Every time you excelled in your studies. Every time you worked particularly hard at
disciplining your temper, you thanked me."
He drew her to him, held her close.
"But you never had to thank me.
Love is a river that runs in two directions, is it not,
Saavikam?" He heard Rise coming up
the stairs and whispered. "It is
time."
Saavik pulled away. Her eyes shone with tears. "I love you, Spock."
"I have never doubted
that."
Rise was carrying a hypospray
when she came back. She turned to
Saavik. "Sit down on the bed."
"Why? I gave you my word?"
"It's not that I don't
trust you, Saavik. It's just that I
don't believe in putting irresistible temptation in your way. Now sit down."
Saavik sat down and leaned
against the pillow. Rise injected her
and then waited as the drug took effect.
"I'll be back before you
wake," she said as Saavik's eyes slowly closed.
"You did not want her
knowing how to contact your ship, did you?" Spock asked.
"I'm not a fool."
"I have never thought
that you were."
"You're not going by
ship, Spock. At least not at
first." Rise smiled tightly. "I have the finest technology, the kind
only the incredibly wealthy and very persistent collector can buy. This little beauty"--she pulled out a
small instrument--" controls technology that comes from the Gamma
Quadrant, or so I was told. A
transporter with a very, very long range."
She began to enter some coordinates in the machine. "It will take us to just this side of
the neutral zone."
"A useful escape
hatch."
She smiled tightly. "I like to always have an escape route
or two up my sleeve." She checked
the instrument. A small screen lit up
with several images. She smiled. "They're ready for us."
She put her arm around
Spock's waist and pressed a button on the transporter controller. The room disappeared. They rematerialized in a large cavern that
appeared to be cut from the side of a mountain.
"The perfect
hangar. Easy to defend, impossible to
find on sensors unless you know it's here.
My ships are very safe." She
walked over to a particularly sleek ship.
"Especially this one."
"Your personal
craft?"
"The Shayla IV. Cloaked of course and incredibly fast,
courtesy of some other interesting technology I happened upon. It's amazing what you can find when people
know you are interested in such things."
"And can afford
them?"
"Just
exactly." She turned to a man
working inside the ship. "Is she
ready, Del?"
He grinned. "Just about, boss. Give me five minutes."
As they waited, Rise seemed
increasingly uncomfortable. She looked
away, ostensibly studying her ships, but Spock got the feeling she was trying
to look anywhere but at him.
"So, this is
goodbye?" he finally said.
"Don't get all
sentimental, Spock." The sarcasm in
her voice stung him more than he expected.
"I was not planning
to," he said in a harsher tone than he intended.
"Of course not,"
Rise said.
"She's ready," Del
called out from the cockpit.
"Goodbye, Father." Rise gave him a last look, then pressed the
controller and disappeared.
Spock sagged against the ship
and whispered, "Goodbye, daughter."
Del stepped out of the
craft. "Are you all right,
sir?"
Spock nodded.
"We should get going
then. It's a long way to Vulcan,
although you'd never know it in this ship." Del touched the hull reverently.
"Then yes, let us
go."
Spock settled into the
copilot's chair, watching as Del piloted the ship out of the cavern. For a while, Spock was caught up in admiring
the way the small ship maneuvered. Then
he realized there was something odd about the readings he was looking at.
"It is jumping through
space-time?"
Del nodded. "Like skipping a rock on a pond."
"That's why it's so
small."
"Can't skip a boulder,
now can you?"
"I think that would
depend on how strong you were and how flat the boulder was. But I take your point."
Del laughed. "Figured you would. We've never completely understood the
principle behind it, just that it works.
The boss is always getting tech like that. We integrate it with what we have. Make it work.
But we never really know how we do it."
"I find that difficult
to accept. How do you keep it running if
you don't understand it?"
"Hope and a
prayer," Del said with a smile.
Spock decided that the man
reminded him a little of Mister Scott.
He leaned back against the seat just as a fit of coughing overcame
him.
Del didn't say anything,
didn't try to help him. He just looked
over when it was done and nodded at a small hatch. "There's water in there, if you need
it."
"I am fine."
"Doesn't sound like
it. You need to get that cough checked
out."
Spock merely nodded. As he stared out the viewscreen his eyes
started to close. The rest of the trip
was a blur and he briefly wondered if Rise had drugged him too. But then a coughing fit would start and he
realized that it was just his illness taking another turn for the worse.
"Here we are,
sir." Del's voice was gentle as he
nudged Spock awake and helped him out of the seat.
"The Vulcan planetary
defense forces will object to this ship being in orbit."
"Not if they can't see
it." Del grinned.
They beamed down onto the
street outside his family home.
"That's it then. You're home," Del said as he helped
Spock to the door, then beamed back up to the ship.
The door slowly opened and
his stepmother looked out at him.
"Good god, Spock, is that really you?" Perrin stared at him in shock. "You're sick, aren't you?"
"I am," he
agreed. He tried to stifle a cough, was
surprised when she took him by the arm and helped him into the house. "I beg pardon, Madame. I know this is an unwelcome visit."
She glared at him. "Well, we're family, Spock. Who else are you going to come to?" She frowned.
"How did you get here? I
didn't hear a flitter."
"It is a secret,"
he said, knowing his explanation sounded weak.
"You and your
secrets." She sat him down in the
room that had been his since childhood.
He realized to his amazement that she hadn't changed anything since his
father's death.
She saw him looking around
and shook her head. "What? Did you think I'd turn this into a study or
something? Really, Spock."
He decided to tell her the
truth. "I'm dying, Perrin. An illness I picked up. Not contagious, but I don't know how long I
will live."
She stared hard at him. "Well, it's not like I don't have
experience nursing, now is it? And you
can't be a worse patient than your father.
Lay down, Spock. You look
terrible. I'll get you some food. And I'm calling one of our healers."
"The diagnosis will not
change."
She lifted an eyebrow in a
perfect imitation of his father.
"Perhaps not, but it would be illogical not to have you checked
out." She bustled around him for a
moment, then left him alone.
He stood up and turned on the
small device Rise had given him, placing it in an inconspicuous spot. Then he slipped into the bed and sank into
the pillows, thankful that Perrin had not replaced them with the more traditional
headrest that his father had favored.
Spock had never found it comfortable.
He found himself wondering if Perrin had. Curious.
Until now, he had never considered her as anything other than the woman
who had taken his mother's place at Sarek's side or as the mother of his
half-brother Sylar.
She came in with a tray. "I wasn't sure what you liked, so I
chose everything your father didn't."
"That was probably the
wisest course of action," he admitted as he moved his arms so she could
slip the tray over his lap. He took a
sip of the tea, lifted an eyebrow.
"Terran Mint?"
She smiled. "Picard sends it to me. I showed a fondness for it once and he has
never forgotten."
"He is a good man."
"He is." She moved to the window. "If I'd known you were coming I'd have
aired the room out. Now it's too hot to
open the window."
"The room is
fine." He watched her move around
the room. "I am surprised that you
have stayed on Vulcan."
"After Sarek died, I
thought I'd go back to Earth. But there
was so much to do in the months following his death I just never got around to
it. Then Sylar suggested I attend a
chemistry seminar at the Science Academy.
I'd forgotten how much I loved going to class. Threw myself into it wholeheartedly. After a few months in the seminar, one of
Sylar's colleagues suggested I take some real classes, finish my degree. I stopped two semesters short when I married
your father, did you know that?"
He shook his head.
"No, I guess you
wouldn't. We never really spoke much,
did we? I met Sarek and suddenly my
education could wait." She smiled
fondly. "And I never regretted it.
Not for one moment. But when he
was gone, I found that I wanted to go back and finish...for me. So here I am, three years later and I've
finished that degree and am pursuing my doctorate. A woman my age." She laughed softly, shaking her head.
"I will be interrupting
your routine." He started to get
up. "And Sylar--"
"Sylar has his own home
with T'Ren. Now, mind the tray. You'll spill it and I shall get very
cross." She glared at him. "We're rich, Spock. There's very little we can't afford. A live-in nurse should be no problem. When it comes to that." She smiled softly. "I'll leave it up to you to let me know
when it comes to that."
He stared up at her. "Perrin, forgive me for being
blunt. But we did not part on good
terms. Your kindness is--"
"Unexpected? Unforeseen?
Unimaginable?" She smiled
sadly. "Sarek is gone. Sylar and you are all the family I have left,
Spock. Well, except for Saavik. But who knows where she is--trying to keep
her in one place is like trying to stop the wind." Perrin looked down, her voice
uncharacteristically soft. "Now
that Sarek is gone, I find it difficult to recall why we disliked each other so
much."
Spock nodded. "I also find it difficult."
Perrin nodded. She was her normal brusque self when she
said, "Well that's settled then.
Finish up, Spock. I want to see
clean plates when I come back."
-------------*****-------------------
Saavik looked out the window
of Rise's bedroom. She could just make
out the mews from where she stood, could just see Rise working with her
birds.
"She won't like that
you're in here," Jorase said as she entered with a basket of clean
linens.
"I know. That may be why I did it." Saavik sighed. "She's barely spoken to me since Spock
left."
"Well, there's no
predicting what she'll do," Jorase said as she put the linens away.
"But it's been over a
week." Saavik remembered Rise
checking on her when she first woke up from the injection after Spock had
gone. And Rise had shown her how the
mirror in Saavik's room turned into a viewscreen for the camera device she'd
given Spock. But other than that, she'd
completely avoided Saavik.
Jorase walked out of Rise's
room, and Saavik followed her down the stairs and into the kitchen. A bowl of beans sat on the table. Saavik sat down and began to snap off the
ends.
"Here now," Jorase
said as she hurried over and took the bowl away. "That's not for you to do."
"Jorase," Saavik
said, as she gently took the bowl back.
"I am bored and I'm lonely.
This looks like the most entertaining thing I'll do all day. Let me find diversions where I can."
"Well. I guess it's all right then." Jorase gave up the bowl. "I'm sorry for that. The loneliness, I mean." She stared out the window. "Sometimes this house is that way."
Saavik watched the woman,
realizing that sometime during her captivity she had stopped noticing the way
Jorase looked. "We never eat
together."
"No." Jorase began to make some sandwiches.
"Why not?"
"Oh, she entertains
sometimes. That...person from the Tal
Shiar. But otherwise we don't sit down
for a meal. Haven't since--"
"--Since Cameron
died?" At Jorase's startled look,
Saavik said, "She told me about it."
"Did she? That explains her silence then." Jorase sighed. "She had breakfast with Master Cameron
the day he was taken. It was the last
time she saw him. She lost her taste for
family meals after that." Jorase
smiled sadly. "And who was there to
eat with anyway? Me? The boy who tends the animals?" Jorase shook her head. She was silent for a long time, her attention
solely on making lunch. Then she said
very softly, "She pulled away, pulled all inside herself, when we lost him." She seemed about to say more when the door
opened and Rise walked in.
Rise barely glanced at
Saavik, just turned to Jorase and said tersely, "I'm taking the dogs for a
walk."
"Good, they need
it. And I've made you lunch. There's enough for both of you."
Saavik looked up from the
beans in surprise.
"Both of us?" Rise stared at Jorase.
"You and Mistress
Saavik. The dogs are very restless. They all need a good run."
"I'll take them by
myself."
"You know you can't walk
them all yourself."
"Then I'll take Keltun
with me."
"I wish I'd known you
were going to need him. I sent him to
market not ten minutes ago." Jorase
smiled innocently as she handed Rise the knapsack she had filled with their
lunch. "I've put all your favorites
in. More than enough for you both."
Rise stared at Jorase, her
face taut with annoyance.
"Well, look at her,
Mistress Rise. What'll she want to do
next? Help me bake?" Jorase shuddered.
Saavik stood up. "She's not wrong to be scared of
that. I'm impossible in the
kitchen."
With a sigh, Rise put the
knapsack on the table. "Fine you
can come, but we won't be out long enough to eat."
"Sure we will. I'll carry this," Saavik said lightly as
she pulled the knapsack over her shoulders.
She turned to Jorase and winked.
To her surprise the woman winked back.
She had to run to catch up
with Rise, who was walking very fast toward the mews. At the last moment, she veered off and led
them into the nearby shed. A cacophony
of barks, meows, screeches, and other animal sounds greeted their arrival.
"Are you running some
kind of sanctuary?"
"Something like
that," Rise said tonelessly. She
let four dogs out of their cages and snapped their leashes on. "Here, you can take the
delinquents."
"Of course," Saavik
said wryly.
"You don't have to
come."
"I like
delinquents. I can identify."
Rise didn't answer as she let
the rest of the dogs out and let them run free.
"No leashes?"
Rise shook her head. "These I trust."
"Maybe I should have a
leash on then?" Saavik said, trying to keep her voice light.
Rise didn't smile when she
said, "Maybe you should." They
stared at each other for a long moment, then Rise turned away and
whistled. "Let's go."
An answering cry from far
overhead sounded and Saavik looked up.
There were two silhouettes in the sky.
She recognized the male as the shiarawk that had threatened her so many times. "Shiansu and..."
Rise looked up. "A young female."
"You haven't named
her?"
"She has a name. Why would I name her?"
Saavik smiled. "Most people can't ask their animals
directly, or have you forgotten? So will
you tell whoever ends up with her what her real name is?"
Rise shook her head. "Names have power. I know that too well."
She increased her pace, and
the dogs milled happily around her, stopping here and there to sniff and play
with something in the grass. Saavik was
busy trying to keep the four dogs Rise had given her from tearing her arms out
of the socket as they pulled relentlessly on their leashes. When all four decided to go in different
directions, Rise walked back to her. She
took two of the leashes and the worst offenders suddenly fell in line with her,
heeling perfectly for a few seconds before they tried to take off again.
"They're
incorrigible," Rise muttered.
"They know what I want them to do, but they just can't bring
themselves to do it."
"Not unlike some
people," Saavik noted.
"I wasn't talking to
you."
"Well, don't not talk to
me so loud and I won't answer back."
Saavik saw Rise's face tighten and wished that she could take the retort
back. "Rise, I'm lonely. It's been a week and you've barely spoken to
me."
"You're a hostage,
Saavik. You're not here to be
entertained."
"I thought you enjoyed
our conversations."
"I did. Until it became clear that you were only
using them to get what you wanted. Well,
now you've done that and Spock's home.
The conversations are unnecessary. Unless you think you can convince me
to let you go as well?"
"That's not what this is
about. Would it kill you to trust
someone?"
"Probably," Rise
answered, walking a little faster.
Saavik sighed and let her
go. She walked for some time before
reaching a small pond. Half the dogs
were already in the water, chasing a ball that Rise was throwing for them.
"Can I let these two
go?" Saavik asked.
"Go ahead," Rise
said, waiting for the two latecomers before tossing the ball again. She looked back at Saavik. "Is he dead yet?"
"Spock?"
Rise nodded.
"You haven't checked on
him?" When the other woman shook
her head, Saavik said, "He's getting worse. But it's slow. He's keeping busy."
Rise looked at her
sharply. "Keeping busy how?"
"Nothing dangerous to
the regime," Saavik said.
"He's helping Perrin with her research. For her doctorate."
"Perrin? Why would he do that? All he ever felt was resentment for
her."
"How do you know what he
felt for her?"
Rise turned away. "He spoke of it while he was here."
Saavik didn't think that was
the truth, but decided to let it go.
"She's not a bad person, really.
She's always been good to me."
"She took Amanda's
place."
Saavik shook her head. "No, she didn't. No one could do that. Not in Sarek's heart, not in anybody's. But that doesn't mean there wasn't room for
her too." Saavik remembered how
coldly Spock had treated Perrin. How
torn between her loyalty to him and her growing fondness for Perrin Saavik had
been every time he'd come back to Vulcan for a visit. "She loved Sarek with all her
heart."
"Did Sarek love
her?"
"I believe so. Certainly he was lonely after Amanda
died. She was the life of that house, of
the family. Perrin came along and I think
he felt needed again."
"So now she and Spock
are getting along?"
Saavik smiled at her. "Stranger things have been known to
happen."
Rise looked away but Saavik
caught a small smile on her face as she did so.
Taking the knapsack from her
shoulders, she sat down on the grass.
"Are you hungry?"
Rise shook her head.
"When did you eat
last?"
"I said I wasn't
hungry."
"Okay, then I'll wait
too," Saavik said as she leaned back and relaxed in the sunshine.
"Eat if you're
hungry."
"I want to eat with
you."
Suddenly a shadow blocked the
sun. Saavik opened her eyes and saw Rise
standing over her.
Her voice was controlled but
Saavik could hear the rage in it anyway.
"What are you doing?"
"I just said I wanted to
eat with you."
"You play these games,
Saavik. You play them and you don't care
what kind of wounds you are picking at or how much it hurts when you touch
them."
"I didn't mean to hurt
you." Saavik sat up. "Rise--"
"--Stop it. Just stop it." Rise started to turn but Saavik grabbed her
hand, pulled her down to the grass.
"I'm sorry, Rise,"
she said as she gently smoothed back the hair from the other woman's face.
Rise closed her eyes for a
moment, then she jerked away, rising in one graceful motion and walking back to
the dogs. She did not say anything to
Saavik for over an hour. Some of the
dogs grew tired of playing and joined Saavik to rest, while she spent the time
trying to think of something to say that would make it better with Rise.
She finally gave up and
closed her eyes when another shadow fell across her face and she looked up to
see Rise standing over her again. Saavik
sat up, waited for whatever she was going to say.
Rise sat down across from
her. "I'm hungry now," she
said abruptly, her eyes daring Saavik to make too much of the statement.
Saavik just nodded and opened
the knapsack. She handed Rise her share
and watched as the woman carefully opened the packets. Saavik took a bite of her sandwich, trying to
pretend that nothing out of the ordinary was going on. Finally she said, "It's good. She's a good cook."
Rise nodded.
"She loves you, you
know."
"She has to. I'm all she's got."
"Love doesn't work that
way, Rise."
"Yes, it
does." Rise looked away and Saavik
sighed.
As they ate in silence again,
Saavik studied Rise. In the bright
sunshine, she could see that her tawny hair was flecked with a few white
strands. Not many, considering how old
she was in human terms.
Rise smiled
self-consciously. "What?"
"You're only a quarter
Vulcan, right?"
Rise nodded.
"But you don't look any
older than I do."
Rise laughed softly. "A gift of the mad doctors that played
with my genes. They couldn't keep me
human but apparently they could keep me young.
I should live as long as you, maybe even longer. I don't really know."
Saavik's eyes narrowed as she
noticed something else that hadn't shown up before. She reached out, touching Rise's cheek, where
a bruise could just be seen.
"Sela?"
Rise looked away.
"Rise?"
"She wasn't pleased that
I let Spock go." Rise took another
bite of her lunch. Chewed slowly. "I'm still here, you're still here,
obviously I made it right with her."
"But not before she hurt
you."
"Hurt?" Rise laughed.
"You think this qualifies as hurt where Sela's concerned? This was a warning not to push her too
far. Nothing more."
"I don't like it."
"Why do you care? I convinced her not to take you away. You should be grateful. Whatever else you're feeling, don't
bother."
"I am
grateful." Saavik looked down,
unsure exactly what else she was feeling.
"Thank you. For letting him
go. For protecting me."
Rise nodded, her face
unreadable. Then she pushed herself
up. "I've had enough," she
said as she fed the dogs what was left of her meal. Saavik watched her as she snapped the leashes
on the four that needed them, then called the rest to her. "I'll see you at the house." And without a backward glance, she left
Saavik sitting alone in the grass.
"That went well, I
thought," Saavik said to the birds overhead, then watched as they too
abandoned her.
--------------------------
Rise was reading in the
courtyard. Jorase was at the other end
of the area, working in the herb garden they'd planted together when they first
moved in. Rise smiled, enjoying the
moment of domestic tranquility when the door opened and Saavik came out. Putting down her book, she watched as the
other woman walked over and sat down next to her.
"Yes?" Rise said
warily.
"I don't want
anything. Just companionship."
"There are five other
benches in this courtyard, Saavik."
"Companionship,
Rise. Look it up. It means more than one person."
Rise got up. "Next time I need a dictionary, I'll
know who to come to."
Saavik looked up at her, a
hurt expression on her face. "Is it
so odious to sit and talk to me?"
Rise could feel the strange
mix of emotions that Saavik seemed to provoke inside her bubbling up
again. "I have things to do."
"Do them later. I want to talk to you."
Rise laughed meanly. "Then of course the whole world must
stop because Saavik wishes it were so."
"You're a real
bitch."
"Yes, I've been told
that before. I killed the last man that
called me that."
"Is that supposed to
scare me?" Saavik crossed her arms
across her chest. "Because it
doesn't."
"Then you are a
fool." Rise turned and walked
toward the house.
"Did you ever care for
him? Even a little? Or were you playing him the whole time?"
Rise turned around. "I can only presume you mean
Spock?"
Saavik nodded.
"We might have been
okay. I had grown fond of him when he
first took me under his wing. I might
even have told him the truth eventually.
If he hadn't decided to pursue peace with the Klingons. And if he hadn't fallen in love with
me." Rise's expression tightened as
she saw Saavik's expression change to one of scorn. "You encouraged him in that,
Saavik. But then I guess you were pretty
eager to hand off the duty of Pon Farr whore."
Saavik was up so quickly that
Rise was taken by surprise and didn't even try to block the hard slap that sent
her reeling. Rise heard Shiansu scream
from far away and sent him a quick, *I'm all right* before turning to face
Saavik.
Saavik truly looked like a
Romulan as she stood there in full fury.
"Say something like that again and I'll kill you. I don't care about my word, or your damn
hawk, or anything else." She
started to walk away, then turned back and said in a low, deadly voice, "I
did what I did to save him. I'd do it
again if I had to. Don't you ever dare
to judge me or my actions." She
walked past Rise into the house and slammed the door behind her.
Rise held her hand to her
stinging face.
Jorase came up to her and
asked, "Does it hurt?"
Rise nodded.
"You need ice for
that?"
Rise nodded again.
"Well, you know where it
is," Jorase said tightly as she walked back to the herb garden.
Feeling more than just her
cheek stinging, Rise stumbled into the house.
--------******--------------------
Saavik watched as Sela strode
across the grass and down toward the mews.
She didn't seem to notice Saavik sitting in the courtyard.
From the column where he
stood guard, Shiansu made a strange sound.
Saavik realized he was watching Sela.
"You don't like her, do
you?"
The bird turned to stare at
her. Then it flew away, following Sela.
"When in
Rome..." Saavik smiled wickedly as
she followed Sela and the bird.
"And in this case, all roads lead to Rise," she said softly as
she watched Sela pull Rise into a quick embrace, made quicker by Shiansu's coming
in to land on Rise's gloved arm.
He _really_ doesn't like her,
Saavik corrected, as she saw him narrowly miss Sela's shoulder with his
outstretched talons. Sela backed up and
glared at the bird.
"Hope I'm not
interrupting anything?" Saavik called out, as she got closer.
Rise looked up in surprise,
Sela turned slightly, annoyance clear in her expression. Shiansu screeched, the cry sounding
suspiciously like laughter, and took off in an explosion of wings.
Sela's hand dropped to her
weapon, but she didn't do more than touch it.
"Saavik. How pleasant to see
you again. Sureya tells me you're quite
the cooperative little hostage."
She laughed meanly. "You
can't possibly have any Romulan blood in your veins if that is the case."
"Perhaps there are
Romulans with a sense of honor, though I have yet to meet any."
"Perhaps there are
Vulcans with an ounce of courage, though of course I have yet to meet any of
those either."
"Spock had courage. He stayed here and worked against you all
those years."
"Ah yes. The great Spock. What a disappointment he was. After all I'd heard, I expected more."
Saavik smiled
dangerously. "Yes, quite the
disappointment. He tricked you if I
remember the story correctly. Leaving
him alone in your office?" She
clucked her tongue at Sela. "How
does a Tal Shiar agent explain that sort of stupidity to her supervisors?"
Sela drew her weapon and held
it to Saavik's head. "It is
difficult to explain. And more difficult
to forget. Killing you might help erase
some of the sting."
Rise stepped between them,
gently pushing the disruptor away from Saavik.
"And if you kill her, we lose our hostage for Spock's good
behavior."
Sela stared at Rise. "So logical. One might think _you_ were the Vulcan."
Rise laughed. Her merriment
sounded real to Saavik. "Oh,
Sela. You say the most outrageous
things. Yes, I'm a Vulcan. Emotionless.
Passionless." Rise pulled
Sela to her for a long kiss then let her go.
Without warning, she turned and slapped Saavik hard across the face. "I told you this area was off
limits. You try my patience,
Saavik. And you insult my good friend
and guest. Now get back to the
house."
Saavik glared at her. She knew that Rise was trying to protect her,
but the blow and the words stung. Saavik
wasn't sure how much real anger was in Rise's voice, how much truth there had
been in her actions and how much was feigned.
"Go." Rise's eyes were totally devoid of
emotion.
Saavik fled, wondering
suddenly why she'd thought coming down to the mews was a good idea.
--------------------------
Rise was just waking up when
she heard a familiar sound coming from Saavik's room. Her heart plummeted when she realized it was
the sound of coughing. She hurried into
the bedroom.
Saavik was trying to pour a
glass of water but the coughing made her hand shake.
"Here, let me,"
Rise said as she poured out a glass and held it to Saavik's lips.
The first sip caused Saavik
to cough even more. Then she took
another sip and it seemed to help. She
looked up at Rise. "I was in the
caverns too."
"I know. How long were you down there?"
"A few months."
Rise straightened up. "Not so long. There may still be time then. Jorase!"
The servant hurried in. "I heard the coughing."
"You know what we
need."
Jorase nodded.
"Go then. Use the
transporter."
Rise moved the humidifier
from Spock's room to Saavik's and added some of the aromatic oil. Then she sat with Saavik while they waited
for Jorase to get back.
Saavik looked toward the
mirror. "Tell me what he's
doing?"
Rise stood up and waved her
hand in front of the mirror. It shifted
to the view of Spock's room. He was
sitting up in bed, working on a padd. He
had to stop frequently to cough into a tissue.
"He lives still?"
"Oh, yes. He is working on his research."
"He will work until his
last moment," Saavik said, her tone somewhere between affection and
sadness.
"You know him better
than I do."
"I do. That's sad, isn't it?"
Rise was spared from
answering by the return of Jorase.
"It was hard to find,
but Master Telev had some in his stores."
Rise opened the bottle and
poured some of the foul-smelling liquid into a small cup. "Drink it all."
Saavik turned her face away.
"You've got to be kidding."
"Drink it,
Saavik." Rise glared at her. "You'll only have to do it once a
day. It's very strong. It probably tastes even worse than it smells,
but if you want to get well, you'll drink it all down and not argue."
"Rise--"
"--No! No arguments today." Rise nearly spilled the liquid in her
agitation.
"Okay. Just don't splash it on me. I don't want to smell like it." Saavik drank it down, making a face at the
taste. "It's horrible."
"Lie down
now."
Jorase adjusted the
humidifier and then left them alone.
"Thank you." Saavik yawned.
Rise watched as Saavik began
to relax, her need to cough subsiding.
"Shh. Save your
strength."
"Why?"
"You'll no doubt need it
to argue with me tomorrow." Rise
smiled wryly.
"Am I that
predictable?"
Rise nodded, laying her hand
on Saavik's forehead for a moment then pulling away.
"You have a gentle
touch," Saavik whispered.
Rise found it difficult to
look at the other woman.
"Wouldn't it be easier
to let me die too?"
"Probably."
"So why don't
you?" Saavik studied her.
"Because I
can't." Rise started to get
up. "I just can't."
Saavik grabbed her hand. "Can't what?"
"Can't lose one more
thing," Rise said so softly she didn't think Saavik had heard her.
"Rise." The word contained a world of emotion. Pity, tenderness, irritation.
Rise shook her hand
away. "Rest now."
"Rise--"
"--Just rest now,
Saavik." She fled the bedroom,
hurried over to her own and threw herself on the bed, pulling the covers up
over her head as if she were still a child.
She felt like crying but she ruthlessly held it in. She didn't cry anymore. Ever.
She felt someone crawl in
beside her and burrow into her back.
"I'm sorry, Rise. I didn't
mean to upset you."
"Go back to your room,
Saavik."
"I'm lonely there. I like it here." Saavik's arm snaked around her waist. "Let me stay, Rise."
Rise could feel the tear
before it fell. She swallowed hard,
trying to stop the next one. It fell
anyway.
"You can let it out, you
know. I won't tell anyone."
Rise shook her head. "I'm fine."
"Like hell you
are." Saavik's lips found her
neck. "But I'm not going to press
it."
Rise closed her eyes,
allowing herself to sink for a moment in the sensation of being held. Then she pulled away. "Go back to your own room."
Saavik sighed, and turning
over, got out of bed. "Who's
this?"
Rise rolled over and saw that
she was holding the picture of Cameron and her when she had looked human. "Nobody.
They're dead now," she said.
"That's you, isn't
it? As a human." Saavik nodded. " And is this Cameron?"
Rise nodded. "A long time ago."
Saavik put the picture
down. "You were happy when this was
taken, Rise. How long has it been since
you felt that way?"
"I'm content."
Saavik stared down at her for
a long time. "You don't seem very
content. You actually seem
lonely...lonely and sad." She
turned and walked back to her bedroom.
I was content, Rise thought
angrily. Before you came, I was.
-------------------------------
Saavik slept late the next
day. When she woke, she could tell it
was far into the afternoon by the way the light came through the shades. She was having trouble breathing and wondered
if the medicine was making her condition worse.
Moving slightly, she realized that something had wrapped itself around
her neck. She gingerly pulled it away
from her and studied it.
"You," she said,
laughing as the black kitten swiped at her nose. "What are you doing up here?"
The kitten cried and Saavik
put her back down on her chest.
"You're awake,"
Rise said from the doorway. "And
you have a visitor. She just can't get
enough of you."
"Unlike some
people," Saavik said under her breath.
"You know I heard
that," Rise said as she walked into the room. She sat down on the bed and felt Saavik's
forehead. "You may have a
fever."
"I feel fine."
Rise reached for the
medicine. "You need this."
"Please, no." Saavik made a face but obediently took the
cup Rise handed her. "Cheers." She gulped it down, trying not to react to
the bitter taste.
Rise took the cup and put it
back on the bedside table. She sat for a
moment, her back to Saavik. Then she
stood up and began to walk out.
"I want to understand
you," Saavik said into the silence.
"No, you
don't." Rise stopped walking. "You just want to seduce me so that I'll
let you go."
"Is that what you
think?"
Rise turned. "I'd be a fool to think anything
else. And I'm not a fool."
"I never said you
were." Saavik slid out from under
the covers. The kitten followed her feet
as they moved under the blanket.
Rise smiled slightly. "You should name her."
"Shouldn't I ask her
first?"
Rise shrugged. "Cats rarely share their true
name."
Saavik closed her eyes and
concentrated for a moment, then she opened one eye. "She's not sharing."
"Told you."
"Okay, then. It's up to me, I guess." Saavik thought for a moment. "T'Mal."
"Was that your
mother?"
"Why do you think
that?"
"Your expression. It reminded me of how I feel when I think of
my mother."
Saavik shook her head. "I never knew my mother. The Romulans took us away from our parents as
soon as we were born."
Rise waited.
Saavik closed her eyes. She didn't like to think of Hellguard. It hurt too much. She opened her eyes and stared at Rise. "You know of my background?" When Rise nodded, she went on. "T'Mal ran the Hellguard nursery. Had to care for us all. She was very old. Past the age of any interest to those who
devised the tortures of that world. Her
only job was to get us to an age where we too could be amusing to torture.
"She loved me. She was the only person that did." Saavik was transported back to a chaotic
world where everyone talked too loud and hurt her when they touched her. Everyone except T'Mal. She was the only comfort Saavik had ever
known. "Until Spock," Saavik
whispered. "So I guess she was my
mother."
"You miss
her?" Rise came back and sat down
on the bed next to her. "I miss
mine. "
"How did she die?"
"The Klingons attacked
our ship." Rise closed her
eyes. "She had been on Risa. She looked so relaxed. A little later she was dead. They should tell you...there should be some
kind of message you get that says, 'This is the last day you'll ever have with
her,' you know?"
"Yes. I know."
"I loved her so
much. My world crumbled when she
died."
Saavik remembered how it had
felt when she'd gone into the nursery--much too old to be there but needing a
moment of T'Mal's love--and had found the frail woman lying on the floor. All around babies had sobbed or wailed. Saavik had barely heard them. "Don't leave me," she'd begged.
But T'Mal had already started
on her journey. Her katra had flown and
her body was cold.
Saavik looked at Rise. "I shut down the day T'Mal died. Turned off everything soft inside me. I don't know why Spock even considered taking
me in. I was violent...full of
hate." She remembered how hard he'd
had to fight to get her to trust him.
"He worked so patiently with me, Rise. Gave me so much."
Rise looked down.
"He saved me." Saavik laughed softly. "I was a savage. Every day Spock would have to search me
before school...would take away the knife I had fashioned during the
night."
Rise smiled.
"I'd make them out of
anything I could find. A tool, a piece
of stone, a fine spoon from Amanda's collection. I destroyed more things in that
house..." She smiled, remembering
the dismayed look Spock's mother used to favor her with when one of her better
pieces had been mangled.
"So he always took it
away?"
Saavik nodded. "Until the day I put it in the bottom of
my shoe. Sliced the hell out of my
foot. But I got it to school with me. Felt safer that day than I ever
had." She paused, remembering the hell
school had been for her during those early years. "The students used to make fun of
me. The way only a pure Vulcan can make
fun of you." Saavik sighed. "I stabbed the one I hated the
most."
"You didn't?"
"I did. He nearly died." Saavik stared at Rise. "The other families and the teachers
were fed up with my behavior. They all
wanted me thrown out...put in a facility for disturbed individuals. Spock fought them. He wouldn't let them take me. He said I deserved a chance at a normal life
and that I just needed more time. No one
had ever stood up for me that way. It
was a turning point in my life."
She took Rise's hand in hers.
"He saved me, Rise. I wish I
could show you the man I knew, the father you never knew. I wish I could make you love him the way that
I do."
Rise pulled her hand away
abruptly. "You can't." She stood.
"I know what you're doing.
This is just a different kind of seduction." She scooped up T'Mal. The kitten hissed and clawed Rise's
hand. "Fine," she said as she let
T'Mal jump back on the bed. "Stay
with her then."
"Rise."
"Just stop, Saavik. It won't work." She hurried out of the room, closing the door
behind her.
Saavik studied the kitten as
she crawled into her lap and began to take a bath. "That wasn't the way to win her heart,
kiddo." She stared at the
door. "That wasn't the way at
all."
----------------------
Several days passed and Rise
stayed away from Saavik except to give her the medicine that was making her
well but also keeping her very sleepy. A
blessing, Rise thought as she activated the mirror and watched Spock as he
slept. "So you live yet," she
said, then waved her hands and the picture faded to black, then reverted to her
own image.
She stepped back and studied
the sleeping Saavik. She looked younger
when she slept, less dangerous somehow.
T'Mal lay in the curve of her neck, as blissfully asleep as her new
mistress. Rise reached down and touched
the kitten, heard her start to purr.
Saavik sighed and Rise had the overwhelming urge to touch her cheek, was
already reaching out. Rise forced
herself to pull away. She turned and saw
Sela standing at the door, watching her.
"I didn't know you were here."
"Jorase let me in. With quite a lot of frowning, I might
add. I don't think your servant approves
of me." Sela walked into the room,
picked up the medicine and read the label.
"Caverns got to her too?"
Rise nodded.
"Nothing that can't be
cured, I hope? Not much of a hostage for
Spock's continuing good behavior if she dies."
"She'll be
fine." Rise tried to draw Sela out
of the room.
Instead Sela kissed her
softly. "I've missed you,
Sureya."
Rise sighed as she pulled
away.
"Is it her?" Sela pulled a dagger from her boot. "Is she the reason you are no longer
interested in me? Shall I kill my
rival?" The knife was perilously
close to both T'Mal and Saavik's throat.
Rise smiled as seductively as
she could and stalked over to Sela.
"Of course not. What
possible interest could I have in her?"
She leaned up and nuzzled Sela's neck, heard the woman groan. Rise reached for the dagger and pulled it
away from Saavik, running it slowly down her shirt, then down Sela's
uniform. "Come away," she
urged.
Sela followed Rise into her
bedroom, kissing her passionately as they fell on the bed. Rise remembered how once she had found Sela
so beautiful with her blonde hair and pale eyes. Once she had wanted her. For her own protection, she would pretend to
want her again. She would do it to hold
on to those things she loved.
She refused to think that
Saavik was one of those things. Refused
to consider that she would do this just to keep Saavik safe.
But when it was over, when
she lay in Sela's arms, exhausted from the pleasure the woman had given her and
that she had given back to her, then it was more difficult to ignore what her
true motivation was and how much she hoped that Saavik would not wake up and
find her in this position.
"You're very
quiet," Sela kissed her softly.
Rise closed her eyes. "You wore me out."
"Never could in the
past. You're different, Sureya."
"I'm just the same as I
ever was." Rise laughed. "Perhaps it is you that has
changed. Perhaps you are growing tired
of me?"
"I suppose it is
possible," Sela said. Then tickled
her. "In an alternate
timeline."
Rise giggled and squirmed
away.
"Kiss me and I'll
stop," Sela said with a wicked grin.
It's going to be a long
afternoon, Rise thought as she pulled Sela's face down to hers.
-----------****-----------------
"Show me how to fly the
birds," Saavik asked.
Rise looked at her in
surprise.
"Please? I feel fine.
If I have to stay in that room one more day, I'll go insane."
Rise studied her, finally
nodding. "But you're going to have
to lose this one." She reached up
and pried T'Mal off her perch on Saavik's shoulder. "She's just the right size for the birds
to go after."
Saavik shooed the kitten away
and followed Rise out the door and to the mews.
She could hear the birds start to call out well before they got to the
doorway. "You can talk to
them? Mind to mind, I mean?"
Rise nodded. She looked up where a large hawk sat in a
tree watching them. "That's
Shiansu."
Saavik nodded. "Him I recognize."
Rise nodded as she reached
into the mews and pulled two gloves from the hooks on the front wall. "Here, you'll need this," she said
as she put the other one on.
Saavik pulled on the bulky
glove as Rise stepped away and whistled shrilly. Then she held her arm out. Shiansu threw himself off the tree limb, his
broad wings catching a thermal and soaring gracefully down to where they
stood. He back winged and landed on her
arm gently.
Rise smiled as he cocked his
head and stretched his neck to be scratched.
Her face, her entire being relaxed as she touched her bird. Then she extended her arm again. The bird
readied himself for the gentle throw and took off, powerful wings carrying him
back up to the tree.
"You don't train
him?"
Rise shook her head. "He doesn't need it. He does what he pleases around here."
"Like guarding the place
and you."
Rise nodded. "He's very protective." She turned and went into the mews. When she emerged, it was with a smaller bird
on her arm. At Saavik's look she said,
"Romulan falcon. Even rarer than
the shiarawk."
The bird tried to fly off her
arm despite the leash holding it in place.
Saavik stepped back.
"He's a handful,"
Rise admitted, trying to calm the bird.
"I've been working to get him to hunt for me but he just hasn't
been interested. I've cut his food down,
maybe now he'll get the idea."
Once he quieted, she let him
go. He immediately flew up and up,
strong wings beating hard. Then he
evened out and soared high above. He scanned
the sky below him intently.
Rise smiled. "Looks like he might do it this
time."
Several pigeon-like birds
flew by. "Hope you're not
squeamish," Rise said as she pointed up to where the falcon had begun his
dive. Faster and faster he plummeted toward
the smaller birds.
Saavik inhaled sharply, awed
by the speed.
The falcon hit one of the
birds with an audible crunch and it fell to the ground. The falcon followed it then bit it in the
neck once to kill it. He began to eat.
Saavik looked over at
Rise. She was smiling. "I take it pigeons aren't high on your
favorite animals list?"
Rise laughed. " Fli'vin aren't pigeons, Saavik, they
only look like them. And what you just
saw is natural behavior. I just wasn't sure
he'd ever do it for me."
"Guess he surprised
you."
"Guess so." Rise watched the falcon for a moment. "So you want to fly a shiarawk?"
Saavik nodded.
"Then you'll have to get
one to trust you first. And that takes
time. Let's find you a good
partner." They walked into the mews.
Saavik stopped in front of
one of the cages. "How about this
one? She's the one that came with us on
the picnic, isn't she?"
Rise walked over. "Good memory. And she's a beauty. Very smart."
"So I get to know
her?"
Rise nodded. "Grab that stool and sit a while. Let her get used to you."
"For how long?"
"However long it
takes." Rise grinned. "This isn't an instant venture,
Saavik. You have to work for their
trust."
"I'm getting
that." Saavik dragged the stool
over and started to talk to the bird, feeling very self-conscious. "Hello.
Rise wouldn't tell me your name.
I know you have one though and she's just being difficult. It amuses her to be difficult with me. So I'll call you--"
*Menah,* popped into her
mind.
She stared at the bird. "Okay.
I'll call you Menah."
The bird made a small noise
and preened.
Rise came back in to put the
falcon away and take out a shiarawk.
"So what're you calling her?"
Saavik smiled. "Her name."
Rise looked up from the
cage. "She told you?"
Saavik nodded.
"I'm impressed."
Saavik laughed. "I am too."
"Ask her if she wants to
fly for you."
Saavik leaned in trying to
think as much as say the words, "Menah.
Would you fly for me?"
The bird seemed to consider
her for a moment. Then she sent back,
*Fly.*
"I think she said
yes."
Rise had the shiarawk on her
arm when she came over. "Then open
the door and hold out the gauntlet. If
she's ready, she'll go to you."
Saavik opened the door slowly
and held her arm out. Menah didn't
hesitate. Saavik held her arm out
awkwardly.
Rise smiled. "You can bring it in a bit." She led them back out to the sunlight. "Okay, the next step--"
"--Mistress?" Jorase hurried up to them. She gestured to the front gate. "There's a man here with a hurt dog. He was hoping you could take a look at
him."
Rise nodded. "Let us put the birds away first."
Saavik followed her in. Rise let her bird hop onto a perch near the
door. "Could you put him in his
cage. I have to go see what's wrong."
Saavik looked at her
uncertainly.
"Just open the door and
hold him close, he'll go to the perch inside it on his own. Then latch the door. And apologize to him for me. I really don't like to do this to
them." She was already moving
toward a man that was carrying a large dog up the grass toward them.
Saavik saw the shiarawk study
her and straightened slightly.
"Don't try anything," she warned it.
From the cage behind her, the
falcon cried. She turned and admired
it. It was beautiful, rings of gray and
white on the body with black on the wings.
His strong legs flexed as he moved back and forth on his perch.
*Fly?* Menah asked in a
confused tone.
"Sorry, girl. Emergency." She opened her cage and let her jump in. Then she went over to the bird Rise had
brought in and carried him back to his cage.
"Sorry, boy."
"Saavik?" Rise called.
She hurried out and over to
the shed. The dog lay on a table under a
bright light. He had a long, vicious
tear near his hip.
Rise looked up. "I need you to help hold him. I have to clean this." She motioned Saavik over and waited till she
had a good grip on the hindquarters. She
looked at the man that held the dog's head.
"Don't let go." Then
she touched the dog's head and her eyes became unfocused.
She's talking to it, Saavik
realized. Mind to mind. Telling it what she plans to do? Such skill for someone who's mostly human
when I've barely moved beyond the basics.
Rise pulled away and reached
for the antiseptic. "I don't think
he'll fight you, but be ready just in case." She gently swabbed the wound. The dog jerked and whined but he didn't try
to get up.
"Good boy," Saavik
said softly. She shared a smile with the
man.
"He's my best
hunter," he explained. "Got
caught in some fencing."
Saavik nodded and turned to
watch Rise as she layered some powder on the cut. It turned into a liquid when
it hit the skin, disappearing immediately into the torn tissue. "Antibiotics," Rise said. Then she pulled the skin together with her
fingers and ran the dermal regenerator across the cut. The skin healed instantly. She waited a few minutes then ran the
regenerator across it again several more times.
"Okay. That should do
it. Let him up slowly."
Saavik let go and the dog
shifted and got up. Rise patted him as
he stood on the table, watching the healed area carefully to make sure the new
skin held. When it did, she told the man
he could lift the dog down.
"But keep him inside,
and keep him quiet. At least for a
day."
"Quiet? You don't know this dog, ma'am. I can't thank you enough."
"Just take him
home. And tell your neighbor to quit
using fencing like that. It's too
dangerous."
"I'll do that,
ma'am." He walked slowly out,
trying to keep the dog quiet.
Saavik followed him out,
watching as Jorase walked him to the gate.
"You do this a lot? Play
local veterinarian?"
Rise nodded. "We're a little isolated here. Or hadn't you noticed?"
Saavik grinned. "I noticed."
Rise washed her hands and
grabbed a bag of food. Going from cage
to cage, she began to feed the occupants.
"Sela sure seems to find
her way here a lot."
Rise froze.
"Like yesterday. When I woke up. That was who I heard, wasn't it? In your bedroom with you?"
Rise looked over at her. Nodded slightly.
"Thought so." Saavik picked up another bag of food, started
to feed the cats. "Do you love
her?"
"No." Rise didn't stop moving.
"Does she love
you?"
Rise laughed, the sound was
full of scorn. "Hardly."
"Are there others here
that you're...you know...close to?"
Rise stared at her. Shook her head.
"Oh." Saavik realized she felt strangely relieved.
"My life hasn't really
been about that," Rise said softly.
"I don't let people in easily."
"I've noticed."
Rise shot her a look.
"So why Sela? How'd she worm her way in?"
"I don't know. I think it was her hair." Rise laughed softly.
"You have a thing for
blondes?"
"I _was_ blonde. Remember?
When I was happy? When I was
human?" Rise fell silent, then
looked over at Saavik. "She looks
human, doesn't she?"
Saavik smiled. "I wouldn't tell her that, but yes, she
does."
Rise shrugged. "So maybe that's why. Or maybe it's just that she was good to me at
a time when no one else gave a damn."
She put the food back abruptly and let a few of the dogs out. "Come on, guys, let's go for a
walk." She didn't look at Saavik as
she walked away.
----------------------------------
Rise lay in the clearing on
the far reaches of her property. Shiansu
soared overhead while a half dozen dogs ran happily through the grass. She put her head back and enjoyed the early
morning sunshine.
"The lioness suns
herself?" Saavik emerged from the
shadows. She was holding a bunch of
wildflowers.
"I wanted to be
alone." Rise turned her face back
to the sun.
"I doubt
that." Saavik sat down next to
her. She lifted the flowers to Rise's
face. "They smell good."
Rise pushed the flowers away
and sat up. "Let's go," she
called to the dogs.
"Stay a while?"
Rise shook her head.
"Please?"
"Why?"
Saavik looked down. "Because I'm lonely. Because Spock is dying and all I can do is
watch from a distance. Because I feel
guilty that I haven't killed you and left."
Rise sat down. "Ah.
The truth finally. No seduction,
no sad stories. Just the realization
that you could possibly overpower me and go home?"
"Possibly? You are mostly human. I could easily overpower you."
"Are you so
sure?" Rise stared hard at her.
Saavik lunged at her,
knocking her to her back. Rise used the
momentum to carry her over and on top of Saavik. She tried to hold her down but Saavik knocked
her back and pinned her.
*Protect!* Shiansu screamed.
"Saavik, stop. He'll attack." Rise sent the bird a firm, *No! No protect!*
Shiansu screamed again, but
his soaring pattern became more normal.
Saavik didn't let go of
Rise's arms. Her face was very
close. "Call him off," she
said quietly.
"I already have."
Saavik let go of her
hands. Touched Rise's face gently. "I won't hurt you."
"Don't, Saavik."
"Don't what? Don't do this?"
The kiss was sweet and gentle
and Rise felt as though she was melting into Saavik. She pulled her close; let the kiss become
more passionate. Then suddenly, she felt
Spock's pain intrude on them. It was as
if she couldn't breathe, as if her chest would crack from the tightness in
it. She pushed Saavik off her savagely.
"Rise?"
She jumped to her feet and
ran across the meadow, unsure where she was going, just feeling the need to flee.
She heard Saavik behind her
and tried to put on a burst of speed.
"No!" Saavik said,
as she tackled her.
Rise went down hard, the
sensation of having the air knocked out of her only adding to the feeling that
she couldn't breathe. "Leave me alone,"
she said as she hit out at Saavik.
"What is wrong with
you?"
"He's dying." Rise shook her head, trying to clear it of
the pain she felt, the sense of resigned despair. "Stop it, Spock!" She hit at her head, harder and harder.
Saavik grabbed her
hands. "What are you doing? What is wrong with you?"
"I can feel him."
Saavik just stared at her.
"You heard what happened
on the ship? How he forced the
meld?"
Saavik nodded.
"It left us
connected. Less than a bond and only one
way but still connected. I feel his
pain, his greatest pleasures. His rages,
his sadness." She sagged. "All of it. The best and the worst. But with Spock, it mainly seems to be the
worst. Now I feel this. The last of it." She panted, breathing air in
desperately. The feeling of choking
slowly subsided.
"Rise?" Saavik touched her face gently. "Are you all right?"
Rise stared at Saavik for a
long moment. She tried to ignore
Spock's physical pain, but when she did she felt his emotional torment
overwhelm her. She attempted to push
herself off the ground, felt Saavik help her to her feet. "You must go." The words were out before she could call them
back.
"What?"
"Yes. It's time.
You have to go." Rise turned
and began to walk quickly toward the house.
"Go where?" Saavik hurried beside her.
"Back to him." Rise bent down and retrieved the flowers
Saavik had dropped. Handing them back to
her, she said, "We must hurry."
"You're just letting me
go?"
Rise nodded.
"I'm his hostage. Without me--"
"--Once he's dead, he
won't need a hostage. And once he's
dead, your life expectancy here will be much shortened."
"What about you? The Tal Shiar won't be happy with you."
"I can take care of the
Tal Shiar."
"Sela will be
angry." Saavik tried to stop
her. "Rise, come with me."
Rise shook her head. "I can't."
"Sela won't like
this."
"I'll handle Sela."
Saavik's voice was so soft
Rise barely heard her say, "I don't want to leave you."
"Then come back to me."
"I will," Saavik
said.
Rise noticed that she looked
away quickly. "Don't make promises
you can't keep, Saavik."
"I didn't. I mean it."
Rise smiled bitterly. "You say that now. I wonder what a few hours of freedom will do
to change that?" She increased her
pace; hating the hope she had felt at Saavik's words.
Jorase hurried out. "Is something wrong?"
"Spock's
dying." Rise pushed past her and
went upstairs to call Del. "Get the
ship ready."
"Yes, ma'am. Where to this time?"
"Same place. Same house," she said softly.
"You're the boss."
She grabbed the controller
units, setting the relays as she walked back downstairs. Del would bring it back to her once Saavik
got to the base. She walked downstairs, handed the unit to Saavik. "This will take you to where my ships
are. My head man Del will be waiting for
you."
"And then?"
Rise smiled sadly. "And then my fastest ship will speed you
home."
"Home."
"Isn't it?"
Saavik thought, finally said,
"As much as anyplace is for me."
Rise turned away.
"How do I get
back?"
"Give it up,
Saavik. We both know you aren't coming
back," Rise called over her shoulder.
Saavik called after her. "I don't understand. You're just letting me go?"
Rise walked back to her. "It's what you want. What you've been working for these past few
weeks. You got your wish. You win.
You beat me." She touched
Saavik's lips briefly with her own.
"Be happy. You're going
home."
"Why, Rise?"
"Because it's the right
thing to do. Because it's you. Because it hurts too much. He hurts too much."
"I thought you wanted
that?"
Rise smiled sadly. "So did I." She turned and headed to the front
courtyard. T'Mal sat up with a start,
taking two steps toward Saavik then stopping.
Then with a soft miaow, the kitten ran out of the courtyard and into the
long grass.
"T'Mal?" Saavik started to go after her.
Rise shook her head. "There isn't time." She backed away even as Saavik reached for
her. "I wish..."
"Rise..."
Rise shook her head.
"Here." Saavik handed her the flowers. "To remember me by."
Rise smiled bitterly. "I'll never forget you, Saavik. Don't you know that yet?" She ignored the hand Saavik held out to her. "Goodbye." Resolutely, she turned her back on Saavik and
walked into the house. She took the
stairs slowly, Spock's pain creeping over her again, making it hard to walk,
hard to lift her feet to climb the steps.
Saavik's room seemed suddenly
cold and lifeless. Rise stuck the
flowers in the pitcher of water and went to the mirror. She activated it and saw Spock lying in his
bed. His eyes were half closed and he
was breathing heavily.
*She comes,* Rise tried to
send to Spock.
Shiansu answered, *She goes.*
Rise could imagine the
shimmer of the powerful transporter. The
way Saavik would disappear from view, would appear in the cavern. Del would be waiting for her. He'd take good care of her. Rise turned away from the mirror and went
downstairs.
Jorase was waiting. "She'll come back, mistress."
"So she said."
"I think she meant
it. I've got a feeling about that
one."
Rise laughed bitterly and
walked out before Jorase could say more.
She busied herself with the animals for a while, flying all the
shiarawks and working herself and Keltun so hard they were both drenched with
sweat. Finally, taking pity on the boy,
she sent him home but she hung back and cleaned out the mews until she was so
exhausted she knew nothing would keep her from sleep.
She woke the next day to a
house that seemed empty. When she walked
downstairs, she found Jorase subdued.
Rise ate her breakfast leaning up against the sink as Jorase worked at
the table.
"Sela won't like what
you've done."
Rise nodded. "I've been thinking it's time to
leave. Soon. Now."
Jorase looked up in
alarm. "What about Saavik?"
Rise closed her eyes. "How naive are you, Jorase? Or how gullible do you think I am? Anything Saavik said that she felt--anything
she made me feel--it was a lie, Jorase.
A lie to get free."
"I don't believe
that. She cared for you."
Rise felt hope beat wildly
inside her, ruthlessly pushed it aside.
"Then you're living in a dream world." She stalked outside before Jorase could
answer. As she headed to the mews, she
felt a sudden stab of joy. So, Saavik
had arrived home. Rise laughed, bitter
amusement rising in her. My gift to you,
Father. At least you'll spend your last
hours happy.
------------*******--------------------
Saavik sat by Spock's bed,
watching him sleep. She felt a gentle
hand on her shoulder and smiled up at Perrin.
"It always surprises me
when you do that."
"I tried for so many
years to be the perfect Vulcan."
Saavik tried to look somber.
"No emotion. It just didn't
work for me. I'll never be
perfect."
"You seem even less
perfect lately, Saavik. Wherever you
were, it agreed with you. And you look
rested for once. Not so thin."
Saavik nodded. "I had plenty of opportunity to relax
and eat."
"And it probably bored
you to tears. Will you ever settle down
and find a place to call home?"
Perrin leaned against a low chest.
"You know you are always welcome here."
"I know." She tried
not to think of a sun-splashed courtyard.
Of a black kitten. Of Rise's rare
smile.
"Did you meet
someone?"
Saavik looked up at Perrin in
surprise. "What?"
"You look...softer than
I've ever seen you."
"Someone..." Saavik sighed. "It wasn't meant to be."
Perrin got up. "That's sad then." She patted Saavik on the shoulder. "I'm going to work on my
paper." She looked over at Spock
and smiled. "He helped me a great
deal with the research. Who'd have
thought it?"
"Strange
bedfellows."
Perrin looked at Saavik
disapprovingly. "Well, I wasn't
sharing his bed, Saavik. Really!"
"It's just a figure of
speech."
"And not a very nice
one." Perrin looked at her sternly,
then leaned down and kissed her cheek.
"I'm glad you're back. I know
it means the world to him."
Saavik blinked back tears and
nodded. As Perrin walked out, she fought
for control. She seemed to be on the
verge of losing it ever since she'd come back.
She took several deep breaths before she realized Spock was staring at
her.
"Don't fight what you
are, Saavik. In the long run, it's not
worth the effort."
"Isn't it?"
He shook his head. "It is a lesson that I should have
learned earlier."
"Probably one that we
all should learn earlier," she countered.
"Yes. But I look back over my life and I wonder how
I could have made some things better."
"Rise?"
He nodded.
"She's not your
fault. How she turned out isn't your
doing."
"Isn't it? Perhaps, if I had tried harder with her
mother? If later on, I had paid more
attention to what was going on around me?
Christine hid a child from me, Saavik.
She hid her from me even in a meld."
"She was protecting her
daughter."
"Protecting her from
me. How was I a threat?"
Saavik shrugged
helplessly. "I could have told her
that you were an excellent father. That
she had nothing to fear from you."
"I think she was afraid
that I would take Rise away." He
seemed very far away when he said, "And maybe, back then, I would
have. So many things I did because I
thought they were for the best. So many
times I decided for others."
"We are all guilty of
that on occasion."
He looked up at her. "I lost Rise before I ever knew
her. My child has lived a life that I
know so little about."
Saavik nodded. "But she let you go. In the end.
When it mattered."
"Yes, she did."
"I think she came to
care for you, Spock. In time--"
"You think she would
have loved me?" He shook his
head. "I think not, Saavik. Too much has happened for her to ever love
me."
Saavik looked down in
defeat. There was no use arguing with
him. What she believed would not
convince him. Or Rise either. She could imagine her echoing Spock's
words.
Spock's words startled her
out of her reverie. "Do you love
her?"
Saavik lifted an eyebrow at
him.
He raised his own back at
her, clearly waiting for an answer.
"I grew fond of
her." Saavik saw his expression
grow annoyed. "Spock, what do you
want me to say?"
"The truth,
Saavik."
She finally nodded.
He seemed satisfied. "I wonder if she realizes that," he
said as he allowed his eyes to close.
Saavik looked at the
camera. "She does, if she's watching. We can turn it off now, you know."
He opened his eyes
again. "Leave it on."
"Why?"
He sighed. "She is a part of this."
"Maybe she won't want to
watch you die," she said softly.
"She'll watch," he
said in a tone that brooked no disagreement.
"I know that she will watch."
She sat quietly, thinking of
Rise as Spock fell asleep. Rise probably
will watch, Saavik realized and a rush of foreboding filled her. What would this do to her? she wondered. And what would the Tal Shiar do to her, what
would Sela do, when they found out she had let Saavik go? She felt the foreboding change into panic and
had to fight the intense urge to go back to Romulus and make sure Rise was
okay. She was not going back. Not now.
Not later. She had been a fool to
promise she would. Overcome by the
moment. By gratitude. Possibly even by hostage syndrome, she
thought as she tried to rationalize her feelings.
You told her you would come
back, the better part of herself pointed out.
You made a promise.
And Rise expects me to break
that promise, the darker Saavik answered.
I owe her nothing. And both
Saaviks knew that this at least was true.
She owed Rise nothing.
She closed her eyes. Tried not to see a sun dappled meadow with
dogs gamboling about as she watched Rise play with them. Tried not to think how Rise's lips had felt
under hers. How she could feel Rise's
heart beating wildly as they had kissed.
Tried not to remember the sadness that colored everything about Rise.
You promised, the voice
whispered again. And you want to go to
her.
Saavik opened her eyes
quickly. This was getting her
nowhere. She heard Sylar come in and
went out to greet him and T'Ren. She
tried to not think that Rise had never met her uncle, might not even be aware
of him.
She's not family, Saavik
thought firmly, no matter that she shared Spock's blood. Saavik shared none of his blood but she was
family. Rise was a stranger.
A beautiful stranger. And an enticing one with her sorrowful face
and exotic life. But a stranger always.
She's not my home. This is my home. Rise made her choices. I've made mine. And as Saavik tried to reason with herself,
the feeling of panic receded a little.
But it didn't go away.
--------------------------------
Rise walked slowly through
the courtyard, calling for T'Mal. The
kitten hadn't come back since the day Saavik left. Over a week ago, Rise realized. A week since she'd worked in the gardens,
since she'd taken the dogs for a long walk.
The fountain wasn't running and she wondered when she had turned it
off. She walked back inside, the rooms
looking bare and stark as they stood stripped of anything valuable. Jorase had just taken another load of the
smaller valuables up to the shuttle.
They would leave soon. Make a new
start. Again.
Rise felt pain wash over her
and climbed the stairs to Saavik's room.
Her breath caught as she felt the distress Spock was in, could tell from
the pattern of pain, from Spock's labored breathing, that these were his last
moments. Walking to the mirror she swept
her hand over it, watched as it changed from her image to Spock's bedroom. She was surprised that he'd kept the camera
after Saavik had returned to him. It
would seem that he wanted her to watch this.
So she did.
She watched as he coughed too
much blood into the handkerchief he held so properly to his lips. She watched as he leaned back and closed his
eyes tightly, trying desperately to fight the pain she could feel through their
link. And she watched as he touched
Saavik's hair, his voice barely audible as he said, "You have meant so
much to me, Saavikaam."
"Spock." Her voice was broken.
Rise felt a surge of
tenderness for the other woman rush through her, knew that only part of it was
what Spock was feeling.
"Little cat," he
whispered.
Saavik wept, burying her face
in the covers next to him. Rise wanted
to turn away, but forced herself to watch.
Spock turned slowly, staring directly at the camera.
"Little cat," he
whispered, his voice tender as he held out a hand to Rise. "I wish..." A coughing fit stopped him from finishing the
thought.
As she felt his terrible
regret overcome her, she crumpled, dissolving in tears. She couldn't watch anymore, so she just
experienced the pain he felt, knew the exact moment that it all ended. When the link between them dissolved.
For the first time in seventy
years, Rise was completely alone in her mind.
The silence was deafening.
She pulled herself up, stared
in the mirror again. Saavik was standing
up, leaning over Spock and closing his eyes.
She kissed him gently on the cheek.
Rise stared at Spock...at
what might have been. Then at
Saavik...at what would never be.
But why not? Saavik could come back now. Rise felt hope grow in her again and laughed
bitterly at her own ingenuousness. Did
she really think Saavik was coming back?
She let the mirror go black and turned away. She had a move to prepare for.
And the move kept her busy
for days. She and Jorase packed up the
most valuable items and transported them to Del. Rise took the last load, glad to be off
Romulus for a time, even gladder to help Del pilot the shuttle full of her
valuables to Rul, the Ferengi whose family she had trusted with storing her
riches for fifty years.
"You are sure you
wouldn't like to stay with me this time?" the Ferengi asked her with a
fond leer. "I'm sure we could work
out a mutually beneficial relationship."
Rise shook her head, tried to
muster up a smile.
"Heart broken?"
She considered that, shook
her head. "Haven't you heard,
Rul? I don't have a heart."
"Right. I forgot." He grinned at her.
She didn't grin back. "Del will bring the rest in a few
days."
"Of course. Where are you moving to this time?"
She shrugged.
"Don't know or won't
tell?"
She gave him a tight smile.
"Always so cautious,
mystery lady. But you are the finest of
things: a repeat customer. I honor
that."
She did smile. "A Ferengi with honor. I wouldn't spread it around, Rul. Might hurt business."
He nodded.
On the way back, Del seemed
in an unusually good mood.
"We're not getting back
into the smuggling business," she warned him.
"I'll just be glad to
get out of Romulan territory," he shot back. "Romulans give me the creeps."
"All these years, and
you're just now telling me?"
"You're the boss. You wanted to stay there, I stayed there.
Hated it though. Real glad to be getting
the hell out."
"Me too," she said,
as she turned to stare out the viewscreen.
When she returned to Romulus,
Jorase told her Sela had called twice.
"I put her off, but I think she was getting suspicious."
"I'll call her,"
Rise said, knowing she should do it soon but unable to deny herself a look in
the mirror. She watched for over an
hour, but there was no sign of Saavik.
She's coming back, Rise thought.
Then she realized there had been no sign of anyone in Spock's room. Saavik was probably still on Vulcan.
Rise waited a little
longer. The view in the mirror didn't
change. She let it go dark. Turned and headed downstairs to comm Sela, to
try to mollify the woman.
She tried to tune out the
voice that kept saying that Saavik wasn't coming back. Tried and failed.
She stayed away from the
mirror then. For an hour, for two, then
for many. A day passed, then
another. When she couldn't stand it
anymore and stood in front of it again, waved her hand over it, the screen
stayed black.
"Activate," she
commanded as she waved her hand in front of it again. The screen shimmered, then returned to
black.
Saavik had turned the camera
off or destroyed it. She wasn't coming
back.
Ever.
Without a sound, Rise slammed
her hand into the mirror. Pain shot
through her as it shattered, the frame falling to the floor. Ignoring the blood pouring out of a cut on
her hand, she reached down for a shard of glass.
So stupid, she thought, as
she blinked back tears and began to hack at her hair, sawing the long strands
to just below her ear, not caring that what was left was jagged and sticky with
her own blood.
So stupid to hope.
She felt suddenly dizzy and
holding her good hand over the throbbing cut walked slowly to her bedroom and
into the bathroom. She rinsed her hand
off, refusing to look at her image in the large mirror as she did so. Pulling some towels down, she wrapped one
around her hand to catch the blood and sat down on the floor. She heard a noise in the dressing room and
looked up.
"What have you
done?" Jorase stared at her in
horror.
"It's time to go. Get up to the Shayla like we planned. I'll send the animals up to Del's men in the
shuttle."
Jorase took a step into the
bathroom. "But, you're hurt."
"It's not that
bad."
"But--"
"--Go!" Rise
screamed at her, causing Jorase to back up hastily. She fought for control. "Go while there's still time."
"You can handle them all
by yourself?"
Rise nodded. "You take Freya. I'll tend to the rest." Despite her ebbing strength, she forced
herself to her feet, stood stiffly and said, "Go."
"Yes, mistress." Jorase bobbed a hasty curtsy then fled.
"I'm sorry," Rise
whispered to her disappearing back.
"I love you."
She dropped the towel, now
soaked with her blood, and grabbed a smaller one, wrapping it tightly and tying
it off. The blood began to soak through
but more slowly as she walked into the bedroom.
She reached for the pain medicine she'd given Spock, opened it and took
a little, then a little more--enough to take the edge off, she told herself. She knew that she had to get the animals up
to the shuttle before she was too weak to do it, but all she wanted to do was
go to sleep. "I'd like to sleep
forever," she whispered, as she felt the medicine start to work, start to
spread the numbness, the peace.
She was about to lie down on
the bed when she heard the bell ring from the front gate. Walking carefully downstairs, almost too
tired to navigate the stairs, she hit the intercom. "Who is it?"
"It's Sela."
Rise laughed bitterly. Of course it would be Sela. "It's not a good time."
"It's the only time,
Sureya. Drop the field or I'll blast my
way in."
Rise knew the threat was
empty. It would take days to get past
her defenses. She could be long
gone. Safe.
And alone again.
She sighed and lowered the
forcefield. "Come in then if it's
so important to you." She opened
the hall door and waited.
Sela was with two Tal Shiar
soldiers. Her expression was grim as she
walked up the path. "You look
terrible, Sureya," she said as she entered the hall. She touched Rise's jagged hair, then looked
at her hand. "And you're
bleeding."
"What can I do for you,
Sela?" Rise tried to feel something
other than the mind-numbing emptiness that filled her. She knew she would need to be extra cunning
to get through this meeting. Found she
hardly cared anymore.
Sela let her fingers drag
over the hall table. "I remember
this being covered with beautiful things.
Where are they?"
Rise shrugged. "I put them away for a while."
"Did you put your
servant away too?" Sela walked into
the living room, sprawled in the large armchair. "I'm thirsty."
"I'll get you an
ale." Rise turned to head for the
kitchen.
"I'd rather she got
it."
Rise didn't look at her. "She's indisposed."
"And your guest,
Sureya? Is she indisposed
too?"
Rise noticed the soldiers
that had accompanied Sela had moved around to circle her. "I let her go," she said simply.
"Excuse me? For a second, I thought you said that you let
her go." Sela stood and walked to
her. "Sureya, I know you wouldn't
be that stupid." She touched Rise's
face. "Would you?"
Rise yanked her face
away. "She's gone."
"And Spock? Is he back then? She was your hostage for him, or did I
misunderstand the arrangement?"
Rise shook her head. "Spock isn't here."
Sela smiled bitterly, then
she punched Rise hard, knocking her to the floor. Sela looked down at her and with a vicious
smile kicked her hard in the ribs. Rise
felt bone crack and give. She didn't cry
out.
"You're not a Romulan,
Sureya. You're a damn Vulcan. You've been lying the whole time. You let me touch you, knowing it would make
me sick when I found out what you are."
Sela's steel-covered toe connected with Rise's hip. " But now you've betrayed yourself...and
us." She nodded to the soldiers,
who hauled Rise to her feet. "The
price for betrayal is high on Romulus.
Or haven't you heard?"
Rise didn't respond.
"You're Vulcan. But that's not enough is it? You have to be human too? The price for being a human is even higher. My mother could tell you that," Sela
said with a twisted grin.
She turned and walked through
the kitchen and out toward the mews, the soldiers dragging Rise along
behind. "Let's go see your precious
birds, shall we?" Sela walked into
the mews while Rise was held at the door.
"Which one of these is mine?"
She studied the birds. "You
promised me a shiarawk."
"I lied," Rise said
through clenched teeth.
"I rather thought you
had. You do that a lot, don't
you...Valeris?" Sela smiled when
Rise did not react to the name.
"You look so like a Vulcan at this moment." She stalked back to her. "Did you think I wouldn't find out he
was your father? That you weren't
helping us at all? You were rescuing
him. His little Rise." She pushed past Rise. "The little rescuer."
"That wasn't my
intent."
"I actually believe that
you did mean to make him pay. But you're
weak. Easily swayed by something
helpless." Sela looked at the
shed. "Like these curs you're
always collecting. And
these...cats. My mother loved
cats." Her lip curled in distaste
and she grabbed Rise by the hair, yanking her away from the guards. As her fingers curled around Rise's throat,
she said to the guards. "Kill them
all."
"No!" Rise cried.
"The birds too?"
one of the guards asked in dismay.
"Of course not the
birds, you fool. They're promised to our
superiors."
"No," Rise said as
the soldiers began to fire into the cages.
"No!" she screamed as they pulled the animals out of the cages
and threw them into a pile. Some of them
were still struggling feebly.
Sela cuffed her. "Shut up, Rise. I should kill you, but that would involve a
lot of explanations that I'm not prepared to make about how I let Spock get
away...again. So you're going to leave
Romulus and you'll never come back, and I'll let it be known that you took our
valuable prisoners with you." She
looked at the guards. "Is that all
of them?"
The first one nodded.
"Excellent, go call for
transport for the birds." As the
guards walked away, Sela pulled her disruptor out and shot them both. They disappeared without a cry. "There is an old human saying: 'Three
can keep a secret if two are dead.' It
is one of the few human things I like.
You killed them of course. That
will be clear in the official report that I'll file. You might want to change your name
again. Sureya will be persona non grata
for several sectors. Dead or alive is how
the notice will read, I believe."
Sela leaned in. "I'll send
someone for the birds once you're gone.
Leave me a shiarawk, won't you? I
really want one."
With a last blow, she let go
of Rise, who crumpled to the ground.
An angry scream came from the
sky. *Protect!* the bird cried.
Rise looked up and saw a
black shape plummeting toward Sela. *No,
Shiansu, no,* she sent him frantically.
Sela smiled as she pulled her
disruptor from the hip holster.
"Your beloved bird. How
fitting."
Shiansu screamed again. Sela's shot was perfect, her disruptor
scoring a long gash along the bird's chest.
As he wheeled and tried to recover, Sela fired again, this time nearly
cutting his left wing off with her fire.
He landed heavily just in front of Rise.
*Shiansu!* Rise could feel the pain and shock coming
from the bird.
*Hurts,* was the last thing
she sensed from him.
Rise sobbed as Sela picked
the bird up by the legs and tossed him on top of the pile of dead animals.
"Goodbye,
Rise." Leaning down, Sela ripped
the garnet pendant from Rise's throat.
"I've always liked this.
Consider it"--she looked back at the pile of corpses--"all of
this, as payment for your life."
She walked away without a backward glance.
Rise tried to get up but
gasped in pain as her ribs and hip protested.
She crawled slowly to the shed.
The smell of charred flesh was overpowering and she threw up again and
again.
From the mews, she heard the
cry of a shiarawk. Then another
screeched. And another. As she wept, their shrill cries accompanied
her sobs.
---------------***------------------
Saavik appeared in same spot
she had beamed out. The courtyard was
deserted, the simple sounds she had come to take for granted stilled. She turned and looked at the house behind
her. It was shuttered and had the air of
a place that hadn't been lived in recently.
The flowers needed tending and the fountain was not running, although
water stood in its many levels.
She remembered how, as soon
as Spock died, the strange dread she had been feeling since she had returned to
Vulcan had grown into a panicked urgency to get back to Rise. Perrin had looked at her as if she was crazy
when Saavik had told her she was leaving.
But she'd had to come back.
But coming back hadn't been
easy, not without Rise's fast little ship.
She'd finally bribed a less than reputable trader to let her ride with
him back to the neutral zone. She'd
located the planet that Rise had kept her ships after a few false leads and had
finally found Del buying supplies.
Convincing him to beam her back to Rise hadn't been easy. They'd wasted precious time arguing.
"She doesn't want
visitors. If she did, she'd have told
me."
"She isn't expecting
me."
"In my experience,
that's the worst kind of visitor to have show up."
"She had you take me
home."
"And she never said
anything about bringing you back."
"That's because she
didn't believe I'd come back."
"Maybe she didn't want
you to come back."
They'd gone round like this
for hours. Finally, Saavik had closed
her eyes, taken a shaky breath and in a defeated voice said simply, "Please?"
He'd pursed his lips and
stared at her. At last, he'd said,
"Hold on a bit." And he'd
disappeared for a few minutes. When he
came back, he indicated she should follow him.
"You're going to help
me?"
"Jorase says you're
okay."
Saavik laughed out loud. Why had it never occurred to her to tell him
to call the woman?
He looked startled. "I didn't think Vulcans did that."
"I'm half Romulan."
He looked taken aback.
"Believe me, I like it
even less than you do."
He seemed to consider her,
finally said, "Jorase sounded worried.
She's been waiting in the Shayla for some time. The boss hasn't called. We better get you back there quick."
And now that Saavik was back,
her panic suddenly seemed reasonable. As
she walked to the hall door, she muttered, "Where is everyone?"
Although the heavy Romulan
furniture still stood in the hallway, the tables were stripped of all the
things that Rise had held dear.
"Hello?" Saavik
called out. "Rise?"
No one answered.
She hurried up the stairs to
the bedrooms. Her room stood as she'd
left it. The flowers she'd gathered had
withered in the pitcher but the book she'd been reading still lay open on the
bed. Saavik noticed that the mirror had
been knocked down. It lay on the ground
beneath where it had hung, shards of glass clustered near it on the floor. Saavik knelt down and picked up a piece. There was blood on it. Not yet dried and green. "Rise?" she yelled, rising and
turning in one swift move. Hurrying to
the main bedroom she threw open the door.
Rise was not there. But there were small drops of blood leading
into the dressing room. Saavik ran into
the small room, then to the bathroom beyond.
A pile of towels lay on the floor.
One was drenched and her nostrils flared at the smell of so much blood.
She ran out of the room and
back down the stairs, checking each room frantically. "Oh god," she said, panting as much
from fear as from any exertion.
"Rise, where are you?"
The animals, she
thought. Rise would never leave
them.
She raced back outside,
hurrying through the courtyard and out to the shed. Her brain at first refused to accept what she
was seeing. Then the haze cleared and
she backed up in horror as she realized that the strange reeking pile in the
center of the shed was what was left of the animals she'd helped care for. Shiansu lay on top of the pile, his wing
hanging nearly off his body. "Who
could do this?" she whispered.
"Someone who wanted to
teach me a lesson," a soft voice said behind her.
"Rise!" Saavik
cried, as she turned and gasped in dismay at the sight of the other woman's
jagged hair and still bleeding hand.
"What has she done?"
"Oh, I did this. It's penance.
For all my sins." Rise
turned away, ripping a bloody towel off her hand as she did. "Sela did that though," she pointed
at the pile, then leaned over and threw up.
Saavik hurried to her, but
Rise pushed her away and started walking toward the mews.
"Wait."
Rise didn't stop. Her pace was slow, and Saavik thought that
she was limping.
"Wait," Saavik said
again as she followed Rise to the other building.
"There is nothing to
wait for anymore," Rise said softly as she walked into the mews.
Saavik was relieved to see
that the birds were unharmed. She walked
from cage to cage, talking softly to them, turning back in time to see that
Rise had picked up the heavy falconer's gauntlet. "For god's sake...all that blood. You'll make them crazy." Saavik held her hand out for the glove. "Let me.
Which one do you want out?"
"All of them."
"What for?"
"I'm going to let them
go. The Tal Shiar won't get them. _She_ won't get them." Rise handed Saavik the glove, then turned and
walked out.
"Damn it," Saavik
said, hurrying after her. "Rise,
what are you doing?"
"It's not that difficult
a concept, Saavik. Like you, the birds
go free." Rise staggered slightly
as she turned to go into the house.
Saavik followed her with a
frown. "What is wrong with
you?" She threw the glove down on
the bench by the door and grabbed the other woman by the shoulders. There was no resistance as she turned Rise to
face her. "You've lost blood. You need help."
The eyes that Rise finally
lifted to meet hers were bleak, utterly devoid of hope. "Help?
There's no help for me, Saavik.
I'm tired. So tired."
"Then rest for a while
and--"
"--You don't
understand." Rise jerked away. "I'm tired of starting over. What's the point now? I'll be alone. I'm tired of not having any
family." Her eyes welled up and she
backed up, hitting the wall and sliding down it till she was crouching on the
ground. "I'm tired of knowing that
nobody loves me. That nobody ever
will. That I threw away that
chance. He's gone. I saw it.
I felt it." She sobbed, the
tears falling freely. "Spock's gone
and now it's too late."
She put her hands on the
ground and tried to push herself back up but didn't have the strength. "I was fine," she said
brokenly. "I was fine until Spock
and you showed up."
"You were the one that
brought him here. That kept me here in
his place." Saavik moved to her and
gently helped her up, noticing that Rise winced when she touched her
waist. "Let's get you bandaged up,
okay?"
"Why? What's the point?" Rise trailed her finger through the blood on
her hand, then ripped savagely into the cut, reopening it so that the blood
began to flow freely again. "Why
does it take so long to come out?" she whispered.
"Because you aren't
supposed to die this way," Saavik said as she went to a cabinet and found
some gauze. Pulling Rise to the sink,
she cleaned the cut carefully then wrapped it and tied it off the way she had
seen Rise do with the animals.
"I want to die,"
Rise said as she looked at the bandage.
"Let me die."
"No." Saavik said, probing Rise's ribs gently,
stopping when Rise hissed in pain. She
began to wrap the ribs. "She beat
you?"
Rise ignored the
question. "Why did you come
back?"
Saavik didn't answer.
"I would really like to
know," Rise whispered.
"So would I,"
Saavik finally answered.
"You didn't have to come
back."
"I know." Saavik walked to the window. "Jorase is on the shuttle?"
"I sent her ahead...I
was supposed to send the animals up..."
Rise's voice broke as she joined Saavik at the window. "I knew the Tal Shiar would come for me
once they figured out that I had let you go."
"Why did you let me
go?"
"It was wrong to keep
you here." Rise looked down. "You belonged with Spock. He was your family."
"He was your family
too."
"No. We'd come too far for that, he and I. We could never be family."
Saavik thought of Spock's
face as he had said very nearly the same thing...and with very nearly the same
regret. How like her father this one
was. Sure that her journey was destined
to be a solitary one. Never seeing the
possibilities, the invitations. Saavik
reached out to stroke Rise's hair and the woman shuddered. Never knowing when she was loved. "Then let me be your family." She turned Rise's face toward her. "Let me be where you belong."
Rise stared at her, looking
very small and uncertain.
"Please...don't."
"Don't love you?"
"It's dangerous to love
me," Rise said, her eyes holding the memories of all the dark tragedies in
her past. "People get hurt. People die."
But her hand reached up to
stroke Saavik's hair.
"I'm pretty tough,"
Saavik replied gently.
"Why did you come
back?" Rise asked again.
"I came back for
you." Saavik leaned in and touched
her lips to Rise's. She felt the other
woman respond, putting her arms around her and pulling her closer. Then Rise abruptly let go and backed away.
"And now what? I go back with you to Vulcan?" Rise's laugh was bitter. "We live happily ever after?"
Saavik shrugged. "I haven't really thought it out that
far. I didn't even know I was going to
come back until I was already on my way."
She smiled. "I didn't plan
to. Didn't want to. Vulcan was tranquil in the way I had always
found pleasant in the past. But this
time, I kept seeing the courtyard here.
When a bird would pass overhead, I'd think it was one of the
shiarawks. I'd catch a glimpse of tawny
hair and turn to say something to you.
But it was never you."
Saavik took the few steps needed to bring them close. "And I wanted it to be you. I wasn't thinking when I left--or I just
didn't care--what it would really mean for you once they found out you'd let me
go. All I cared about was getting back
to him. But then once I got there, it
was as if all I could think about was you.
I didn't even wait for the katra ceremony, Rise. I just came back."
"But the camera. You turned it off. Today."
"I didn't. I just spent the last few hours trying to
convince Del to beam me over. Before
that I was in the hold of a Trebarian freighter. I've been trying to get back here for
days." Saavik frowned. "You thought it was me? That I wasn't coming back. That's why the mirror..."
Rise turned away.
"I wasn't going to come
back. Kept trying to convince myself
there was no reason to...that I didn't want to.
That I didn't want you. But I do
want you, Rise. And I know you want me,
I think this is proof." She reached
out to touch Rise's hair.
"Don't."
"Why not?"
"Because there's no
future in it. I'm a monster, remember? I'm the one that betrayed
everything." Rise straightened and
looked at Saavik defiantly. "I'm
not sure that I'd do that over again differently."
"I know."
"I'm still Valeris. No matter what else I do, there will be those
that only remember her."
Saavik nodded. "And they'll hate her. Just as I hate Valeris. But they won't see Valeris when they look at
you. Not if they don't know." She touched Rise's cheek. "They'll only see you as you are now,
just as I do. I don't hate you,
Rise. Not anymore."
"But I'm Valeris
too."
"I didn't say it made
sense, little one. I have never been all
that good at logic. If it is illogical
that I love you, then so be it."
She walked to the door and picked up the gauntlet. Holding it out to Rise, she smiled ever so
slightly. "We have some birds to
free, I believe."
Rise joined her, slipping the
glove on solemnly. "And then
what?"
Saavik shrugged. "Find a new place, where we can rebuild
this. Somewhere you can stop running. Somewhere I can call home. Somewhere we can be together."
"I had picked out a
planet," Rise offered tentatively as she followed Saavik out the
door.
"Something a bit more
pleasant than this one, I hope."
"I think so."
As they came to the mews, a
plaintive cry rang out.
"T'Mal?" Saavik
said in delight as she scooped the kitten up.
"Where have you been?"
"She came back for
you," Rise whispered.
"Just as I came back for
you." Saavik leaned in and kissed
Rise soundly. "I love you,
Rise."
Rise looked terrified. Fight it, Saavik thought. Rise, let me in.
"I love you too,
Saavik," Rise finally said as she pulled Saavik's face down to hers. She didn't pull away until a black ball of
indignant feline howled in protest. Rise
laughed softly and together they got a traveling cage from the mews. As she helped Saavik stuff the struggling
kitten inside, she giggled again.
The happy sound sent shivers
down Saavik's spine. She'd never heard
Rise do that. She hoped it was a sound
she heard again soon.
Rise handed her the spare
glove, then turned and reached into the first bird's cage. "You're going to be free," she said
as she gently removed the jesses from the shiarawk's legs. She closed her eyes for a moment, and the
bird cocked his head at her. "He
knows," she said, handing him to Saavik.
"And he's ready to fly."
As Saavik carried the bird
out and flung him up in the air, she heard Rise say, "I'm ready too."
FIN