DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are
the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2006 by Djinn. This
story is Rated R.
Waltzing with the Muses
by Djinn
----------Calliope's Wishing Well----------
Chapel fidgeted in her seat,
trying to ease the pain in her rear.
Epic poetry was one thing; epic poetry in German was goddamned torture. And she'd bought the ticket for this of her own
free will--she had only herself to blame.
She felt someone poke her in the back and quit moving around. Damned purists--it wasn't like you needed to
actually see the sadist on stage reciting his saga to get the effect.
Again the poke.
She whipped around to glare
at the Finger from Hell and saw Kirk grinning back at her.
He leaned forward, his breath
warm on her ear. "Good stuff,
yes? I'm riveted. How about you?"
She saw her neighbor to the
right glance over, his mouth set disapprovingly, so she settled for nodding.
"Want to get the hell
out of here?" Kirk asked.
She let an eyebrow go up with
such ease that Spock would have been proud of her. If he ever gave her that much thought. Which he didn't. And she was okay with that.
The man on stage took a
breath, and she thought for a moment he might be winding down. But he threw his arms up, adding bad acting
to bad rhetoric.
"Oh, God, make it
stop," she said, much too loudly.
Both sides of the neighborhood glared at her.
Kirk snickered and said, "See you outside." Then he left her to make her own way out of
the aisle. He was leaning against the
concert hall's outside wall when she hit the exit.
"Some gentleman."
"You're the Emergency
specialist. You don't need me to tell
you how to get out of an auditorium."
He took her arm and started down the street. "Chris, it's damned good to see
you." His smile was friendly. Very, very friendly.
"Are you drunk,
sir?"
"It's Jim. And no.
No, I'm not. I am, however, on
leave."
"Lucky me. So, have you been sampling some fun
drugs?"
He shook his head. "Nope."
She leaned into him. "Then why are we walking arm and arm
down this Berlin street?"
"Because we're not in
there listening to Beowulf."
"That wasn't
Beowulf."
"Well, whatever it was." He sighed.
"And because it's my fifty-first birthday and there is no old enemy
after me and no one is going to die."
"Ooooo-kay."
"Then again, the night's
still young. And I'm not." His voice dipped low, nudging into the bitter
zone. "Isn't life great?"
She tripped a little on the
uneven street, bumped up against him, and felt something distinctly flask-like jut
into her thigh. She reached into his
pocket, digging out the offending item.
"Commander, if you want
something, you only need to ask."
He grinned when she brandished the flask. "Why, how the devil did that get
there?"
"I can't
imagine." She opened the flash, and
sampled the poison. Her eyes immediately
began to water. "Mother of all
that's--what the hell is this?"
"Andorian gin. It's a killer."
"I think you might be
right about that," she said, then took another pull.
"Go easy, Chris. I'm in no shape to get you home."
"You said you weren't
drunk."
"Yes and I was
lying." He leaned in. "I do that sometimes."
"So, you're drunk
because it's your birthday?"
"You only know it's my
birthday because I'm drunk." He
leaned in. "I wouldn't have told
you how old I was, either, if I wasn't three--maybe four or five--sheets to the
wind." He veered suddenly, pulling her
down an alley.
"Where are we
going?"
"To my favorite
fountain."
"Three wishes and all
that?"
"It's my birthday,
Chris. I can make as many wishes as I
want." He stopped and pointed. "See.
Pretty."
"Very." It was a birdbath. A tall, very ornate, birdbath. But still...
"Don't humor
me." He walked over to it, staring
at it with unguarded affection.
"When I was just a kid, it was
a fountain. It was my fountain."
"You grew up here? I thought you were from Iowa?"
"Oh, Iowa's where I
lived. But my grandma was here. I visited her every summer. I loved coming here." He turned to look at her. "I was about seven when she died. Trips stopped then."
"I'm sorry."
He shrugged. "We all lose people."
"Yes, we do." She took another sip of his rock gut. "So what were you doing at the poetry
reading?"
"I saw you. Followed you in."
"Points off for bad
judgment."
"Yeah. I didn't read the marquee." He dipped his hand into the water, splashed
some on his face. Then he did it again,
with more vigor.
"That water's probably
not very clean."
He laughed. "This is Germany. Everything's clean."
"Point taken." It was scarily tidy here. "Why did you follow me?"
"I don't
know." He turned, studied her as the
tips of his hair dripped water onto his cheeks.
She walked to the birdbath,
trailed her finger through it. "So,
do wishes really come with this thing?"
"I always thought
so. Then again, I hadn't lived much back
then."
"Not like now?"
"Weathered and
beaten." He took the flask from
her.
"Why does getting old
bug you so much?"
"Ask me that when you
turn fifty-one."
She decided not to engage
anymore, walked around his little fountain, and took his arm again, leading him
off.
"I'm not ready to
go."
"Sure you are."
"Where are you taking
me?" He leaned into her, his body
warm and strong even if a bit tipsy.
"Where do you want me to
take you?"
"I don't know. Where do you want to take me?"
Laughing softly at the game
of verbal roulette they were playing, she steered him to the transporter
station. "Home, I think."
"That sounds
promising."
"Your home."
"Less so. Unless you're the kind of woman who likes to
be able to make a dash once you've had enough."
"Had enough of what?" She batted her eyelashes at him.
"I am immune to your
charms. Do that again." He laughed softly. "It's my birthday, dammit. I'd like some cake. Sachertorte, maybe."
"Uh huh."
"Vienna is just a hop
away."
"Jim, anywhere on Earth
is just a hop away by transporter."
"We could take the
train."
"Yes, or we could hire a
carriage."
He dug his heels in, refused
to budge. "It's very bad luck to
refuse to go to the Hotel Sacher with me on my birthday."
"Your fifty-first
birthday."
"Right."
"I don't even like
sachertorte."
"Then you, my dear, can
have a Napoleon." He started
walking again. "It's settled."
She gave up and let him take
over. He told the transporter tech their
new destination, held her elbow as they stepped up to the pad.
As they walked out into the
Vienna night, she asked, "Why did you follow me, Jim?"
"I'm not drunk enough to
tell you."
She handed him the flask, and
he laughed loudly. A spontaneous, happy
laugh that made her grin. She noticed he
didn't take a drink, just shoved the flask back into his pocket.
"Why?"
"Because you're wearing
the hell out of that dress."
"I thought you weren't
going to tell me."
"I changed my
mind."
"I've worn the hell out
of dresses before. You never showed much
interest."
"Were you
disappointed?" His eyes were just a
little dangerous and very amused.
"Not really." She smiled as she said it.
"You're honest,
Chris. I like that."
"Did you even know it
was me? Or was I just a bodacious dress?" It was a great dress. Cost her a month's salary--well, it had cost Todd
that, if he made what she did, which he didn't.
Todd could have bought her five of these dresses a day and not even
blinked. It was the one thing she missed
about him: living large.
"I knew it was
you."
She studied his face. "Why are you alone on your
birthday? Where's Len? Or Spock?"
"I'll see them
tomorrow." He shrugged.
"I get...weird on my birthday.
Better to celebrate the next day."
They turned into the hotel,
didn't have to wait for a table in the charming red and gold cafe, or for the
steaming hot coffee and dessert.
"So, tell me,
Chris. What would you have wished for in
my fountain?"
"I don't know."
"Not true love?"
She smiled and laughed a
little, knew both came off bitter.
"Uh. No."
"You're not still interested
in Spock, are you?"
"Even I can move
on. And thanks for the vote of
confidence. It was...someone else. Someone you don't know."
"He hurt you?" He touched her hand, his fingers dipping down
lightly, not really coming to roost.
"Did he hurt
me?" She thought about that. Todd hadn't hurt her...exactly. "He just confirmed some things."
"Bad things?"
"I don't know. Things I've had to have thumped into me, I
guess. About love."
"Like that it never
works?" He was nodding. "Or that love's an elusive bitch. That kind of thing?"
"Wow, isn't that
depressing? You too, huh?"
He shrugged. "I thought I had someone back in my
life. But...I lost her when I lost my
son."
"Carol?" She'd heard the story from Ny.
"Yeah."
And then Gillian, that perky
young thing from the past, had rushed off to embrace her new destiny, leaving
Jim looking a little bemused on the tribunal floor. Chapel had watched from the corridor, not
meaning to intrude, but Jan had wanted to wait for their captain. Jan, who'd found someone she was crazy about,
finally, and was getting married. At
least one of them still knew how to love.
Jim sighed. "So here I am. I see attractive women. I do nothing.
I've lost my touch, Chris."
"Hey, you're stalking me
into poetry readings. I'd say you've
still got the knack." She gave him
a hard look. "Unless you're saying
I'm not attractive?"
"I'm not saying
that." Again the grin. "I do like you."
She smiled, felt suddenly a
little shy. "I like you,
too." She lifted her cup to
him. "To birthdays. Because the alternative's worse."
He thought about it for a
second, then nodded. "Chin
chin."
She realized he wasn't drunk
at all. Just probably a little buzzed,
the way she was. He sipped at his
coffee, watching her over the lip of the cup, a small smile playing at his mouth.
"What?" she asked.
"I don't know. This is nice."
She leaned forward. "It's a red-velvet cafe that hasn't
changed since the nineteenth century. In
Vienna. With yummy chocolate and
caffeine. If it weren't nice, I'd want
my credits back."
"You make a good
point. I think the company might have a
little to do with it, though."
"Don't bet on
it." But she knew she was smiling
in a way that was probably much too sappy--this man was dangerous. "When is your leave over?"
"Tomorrow."
Tomorrow. She was safe, then. He'd go, and she would remember this as just
a fun night. His birthday--the one she'd
helped him celebrate. It would mean
Andorian gin, and bird baths, and sachertorte.
If she could wish, though... But she didn't wish. She was long past wishes. Wishes had no point. And...it was safer this way.
"What are you
thinking?"
She met his eyes. "Nothing."
"Liar." But he didn't press, just held out his fork
to her, his last piece of sachertorte on it.
She shook her head and he pulled
the fork back, and finished it himself. Their
eyes met, and his were calm.
"Happy birthday to
me." He looked around as she
nodded, seemed to be breathing in the atmosphere of the old hotel. "I think I might get a room..."
"Good idea. Indulge yourself." She waved the waiter over, signed for the
dessert, ignoring Jim when he protested.
"It's your present. Happy
birthday."
"You're
leaving?" He didn't sound
surprised.
"I am. Early shift in the morning." A lie.
Same shift as ever. But he didn't
know that.
She leaned down and kissed
him on the cheek, lingering longer than was probably wise. "Good night, Jim. Godspeed."
She felt his hand on her
back, rubbing gently, heard his soft "Good night." Then she turned and hurried out of the hotel.
Back to San Francisco. Back to reality. Boring, but safe.
----------The Song of Euterpe----------
A hand passed in front of
Chapel's face as she sat at the science station in Ops. A hand holding a personal padd with two
tickets on the screen. She didn't need
to turn to look, could tell by Jan's surprised expression who was standing
behind her.
She read the tickets. "La Traviata?"
"Box seats. In Rome.
Tomorrow night. On me." Jim leaned down; his breath as he talked made
her hair move. "Yes?"
"What's the
occasion?"
"Payback. For having to listen to me whine about
getting old." He straightened,
moved into view. "Hello, Jan."
"Captain." Jan glanced at Chapel with a look that said
there was going to be a lot of explaining to do. Fortunately, not a look that held any
anger. It was a testament to how crazy
Jan was for Paul that this did not appear to be bugging her.
"Congratulations on your
wedding," Jim said, his hand falling on Chapel's shoulder as he talked.
"You are coming, right?" Jan was beaming. "You'll like him. He's a lot like you."
"He's a lucky man. And yes, if I can get back, I'm
coming."
Jan smiled at them both. "Why don't you two find someplace a
little more private to talk?"
"Excellent advice,
Jan." He lifted his hand from
Chapel's shoulder. "Shall we?"
She followed him into the
corridor. "You don't have to pay me
back."
"I know." Gesturing to an exit, he looked a little
longingly at the bright sunshine.
"It's a nice day."
"Then let's go enjoy
it." For a second, she almost
expected him to take her arm as he led her outside. Glancing at him, she saw him grin as he
caught her looking. "What?"
"You knew I was back, of
course."
"It's
possible." No ship came home
without them knowing it. The Enterprise was back for an upgrade to
its nav system. All the ships were
coming in for it. He'd be here three
days tops. He'd just arrived, too. Which meant he hadn't wasted much time coming
to see her. She bit back a smile, even
as she told herself not to read too much into that.
"Did you think I'd come visit
you?"
It had been a month since his
birthday. She hadn't expected any comms
from him, and he hadn't disappointed her.
She'd thought Berlin was what it was.
A one-time moment of connection.
Sympathy over a bird bath.
She met his eyes. "No.
I didn't."
"I didn't think I'd
come, either." His smile was a
little shaky. "Not sure why I
did. Other than I keep thinking of that
night."
"It was the
dress." She laughed at his
expression.
"It was more than the
dress. A dress doesn't get me
wondering." At her look, he
grinned. "Well, okay, a dress does
get me wondering about some things. But
not to the extent I've been thinking about you."
"It's easy to make
things more than what they are."
She knew this from experience--was, in fact, a master of the art.
"Is that what I'm
doing?" He slowed, studied
her. "Should I stop?"
She felt as if he could see
far too deep inside her. "What do
you want to do, Jim?"
"I don't know what I
want anymore. I wanted my ship
back. And I have her back. And...it's not enough."
"What would be
enough?"
"I don't know. But...I keep thinking of you."
"Maybe it's just some
lingering post-birthday angst? Not me at
all."
He grimaced, then pulled her
along, to a bench set away from the building.
"Who was he?"
"Who was who?"
"The man who left you so
damn guarded."
She shook her head.
"Chris, come on. You know me: I can finesse any
situation. Provided I understand
it."
"Maybe I don't want you
to finesse me."
"Help me understand,
anyway."
Sighing, she looked
away. "Todd Cabot."
"You were dating him?" The disgust was palpable.
"I take it you're not a
fan."
"Who the hell is? Other than his
bankers."
She sighed. "He was...different."
"Than what?" Making a face, he made a motion as if waving her
away. "Jesus, Chris--Cabot?"
"It didn't end
well." She frowned. "Why do you dislike him so?"
"He has a thing for
scientists."
He wasn't wrong. She and Todd had met at a benefit. For a science foundation. She hadn't realized until much too late that
he'd been trolling for new meat, not just supporting the cause. "I still don't see the connection to
you."
"He dated Carol after I
left." He sighed. "I'd forgotten how much I hated him. It's been so long and we don't travel in the
same circles. Normally." He looked down at clenched fists. "He was there when my son was born,
Chris. Playing father to David. Didn't stay very long, thank God. David was barely two when he left. Probably didn't even know he'd had a fake
dad."
She took his hand, trying to
pry open the tight fingers. "I'm
sorry." Carol had lasted with Todd
a hell of a lot longer than Chapel had.
But then that had been many years ago.
As far as Chapel knew, no one lasted very long with Todd anymore.
"Did he hurt you?"
"No. He just...moved on. Before I was ready for him to." She gave up on getting his fists open, just
held them the way they were. "He
was cold. At the end. Like Spock.
Only without the wacky charm."
Jim smiled, but it faded
quickly. "Were you in love with
him?"
She shrugged. Then she looked up at him. "Were you in love with Carol? Or were you just trying to recapture
something that might make you feel less alone?"
"Ouch." He smiled grimly. "But not inaccurate. I don't know what's wrong with me,
Chris. I feel like I've missed
something. Like somewhere along the
line, I took a wrong step. And I ended
up here." He looked over at her and
unclenched his fist enough to draw her hand into his. "I don't mean right here with you. But...alone."
"We're all alone,
Jim. Even when we're with someone, we're
still alone in here." She tapped
the side of his head very gently.
"I found that out with Todd."
"I know." He met her eyes, his own penetrating. "Come with me to the opera
tomorrow?"
"Do you think that's a
good idea? Neither of us is in the best
place emotionally."
"True. But it's Rome, Chris. And if you're very good, I'll take you to
Venice. To my favorite hotel."
Her eyebrow went up.
"You can have your own
room." He scooted closer, not
romantically close, just near enough for comfort. "Say you'll do it."
She could feel some part of
her suggesting she back away slowly. But
her mouth was operating on its own.
"Okay. I'll do it."
His grin was heart stopping. "I'll pick you up at your place at
six. Wear something unbearably
sexy." He squeezed her hand and let
go, getting up. "Pack something you
can roam Venice in, too."
"You're spoiling
me."
"Not after Cabot, I'm
not. I'm not even in his league."
She took his hand, felt the
warmth, the strong pulse. "Believe
me, you're well beyond it."
"You do know what to
say." He stared down at her a
moment, then walked away, heading around the building toward the main entrance.
She watched him until he was
out of sight. Getting up with a sigh, she
made her way back to ops, rolling her eyes when she saw Jan give her a
predatory smile.
"Chapel, I want all the
gory details when you get back from Rome."
"You think I'm
going?"
"I know you're going, missy. One of us has to find out what he's
like." Jan gave her a sweetly
mischievous grin. "And I'm afraid
it can't be me anymore. I'm very much
taken."
Chapel felt a pang. She'd once felt that way, with Roger. Lucky to be in love. Lucky to be loved back. It had been a very long time since she'd
felt that way. Maybe something had died
in her, in those caves, when Roger was lost again. When Roger turned out to have never been
there at all.
She started to send Jim a
message, started to try to weasel out of their trip. But then she remembered his grin and the
lonely look in his eyes.
She cancelled the message and
went back to work.
------
Chapel leaned forward,
enjoying how she could see the entire stage from the box Jim had gotten. She felt his hand trail down her back--her
very exposed back. He had said unbearably sexy. This was the dress for it. Although she wasn't sure that at her age what
was inside the dress qualified.
His hand stopped where the
dress started up again, very low on her back.
His fingers trailed along the edge of the fabric, then ran up
again. She glanced over at him, saw that
he was watching the stage intently. He
didn't seem aware he was even touching her.
What this man could do with
one little touch was criminal. She
shivered, and he looked over, then at his hand, as if it was operating on its
own initiative. But he didn't pull it
away, just smiled and gave her a questioning look.
She leaned into his touch,
and he smiled again, and turned his attention back to the stage. But his touch was more calculated this time,
and she put her hand on his thigh, causing him to laugh softly. He looked over at her, then down at her hand,
and murmured, "I dare you."
She slowly ran her hand
up. He stopped her before she could edge
into the danger zone. Pursing his lips a
little, he nodded, as if reassessing her.
"Ballsy."
"Never dare an ops
person," she whispered. Then she
moved her hand back down to his knee, sliding his hand with her.
He tightened his hold on her a
little, his other hand making its long slow exploration of her back again. She had a hard time following the rest of the
opera. Fortunately, she didn't care all
that much. When it was over, he sat for
a moment in the box, watching the others leave the hall.
"They're like
peacocks," she murmured, taking in all the beautiful colors.
He nodded. "Or tropical fish. All heading one way."
"To the bar," she
said, and he laughed. She moved
closer. "I like it here."
"Do you?"
She nodded.
"I think they'll kick us
out if we try to set up camp."
She pretended to pout, and he
seemed mesmerized by her lips. She let
them go back into a more serious expression.
"I liked your lips
better the other way. For this
anyway..." He kissed her, a soft,
gentle--but not at all tentative--kiss.
She kissed him back the same
way.
When he pulled away, his
smile was a little sheepish. "You have
to admit this beats the hell out of listening to me whine."
"I didn't mind listening
to you whine." Letting him draw her
up, she closed her eyes and shivered as he settled her wrap around her
shoulders, his hands going underneath the silk and chiffon to touch her skin
again.
"Venice?"
She nodded.
"Two rooms?"
She opened her eyes, studied
him. Then she started to smile, her lips
tilting up very slowly. "One."
His lips began the same slow
ride into a smile. "One it
is." He let his hand fall to the
small of her back, pressing in just enough to let her know he was there.
It was
very...territorial. Todd had done that,
too, and she'd hated it. But when Jim
did it, hate was the last thing on her mind.
The walk to the transporter
station was short, or maybe it was long and she just didn't notice because his
arm was around her and he was kissing her.
They materialized in Venice and walked for a short bit, then she saw a shadowed
alcove and pushed him into it. She felt
him press against her, and his lips found hers.
They kissed for a long time, gentle turning to not so gentle as water
lapped against the canal bank only meters from them.
She had to come up for air, and
hugged him, running her hands down his back. "Do you think they'd arrest
us if we did it right here?"
"Did what?" He pressed against her again, making it clear
that one part of him knew exactly what she was talking about. Nuzzling her neck, he kissed his way to her
ear.
She heard music coming from a
window somewhere above them, a lone violin playing a sad melody.
He let out a breath, the
sound long and satisfied, as if he was letting go of much more than just air. "God, I love it here."
Taking her hand, he pulled her
after him, over a bridge, down a shadowed sidewalk along another canal, then
over another bridge. They ended up in
front of a hotel that looked as if it had been a private palazzo. She thought it probably fronted on the Grand
Canal. Jim put his arm around her as he
walked with her up the stairs and into the lobby.
"Signore
Kirk." An old man at the
registration desk clapped his hands.
"Anna Luisa, I told you he was coming back."
An old woman peeked out from
the door behind the man.
"James. You bad, bad
boy. Where have you been?"
Jim pointed up.
"You see, Mario. I knew he'd get back up there." She winked at Chapel. "I bet my husband a good deal of money,
in fact."
"Your favorite room
happens to be free," Mario said, checking his computer. "You do want it?"
"Oh, yes." Jim looked at her. "You'll love it."
"I believe you."
The woman seemed to be
assessing Chapel. "Who is your
friend, James?"
"An old
shipmate."
"Not so old," Mario
said, winking at her. He signed them in,
then had them run their hands in front of the scanner, keying the room for their
palms. He clapped sharply and a bellboy
came over with the bags they'd sent earlier that day.
"Enjoy yourselves."
Anna Luisa shot them a knowing smile.
"This way," the
young man said, heading for a lift set off in a corner of the lobby.
Their room was on the top
floor, and the lift covered the three floors slowly, finally opening to a wide
hallway, covered in gilt wallpaper. Antique-looking
light blue and gold carpets led the way to the end of the hall, where the
bellboy threw open the doors, revealing a very large room done in shades of
gold and brown. It had floor-to-ceiling
windows that did look out on the Canal.
Chapel hurried to take in the
view; she heard Jim getting rid of the bellboy, saw his reflection as he turned
off the lights and joined her at the window.
"Here," he said,
moving her down the wall of windows, to a door she hadn't noticed. It opened onto a miniscule balcony, barely
large enough for them both to stand. She
stepped out, leaned against the railing as he pressed himself against her and
kissed the back of her neck.
Her knees nearly buckled.
"See that place over
there?" He pointed across the
canal, to a building with a substantially bigger balcony than theirs. "There are two ancient men who live
there. They have three white
poodles. They like to sit out in the
mornings, drinking their coffees, with the poodles yapping their heads off."
She laughed.
"And there"--he
pointed to a building next to the first--"that one's pink, even though you
can't tell it now. A young woman with
long, dark hair lives there, but not all the time. When
she's here, she entertains a
lot. With the curtains open."
"And you watch?"
"I'm a guy. Of course I watch." He leaned in, gently pulling her back and tilting
her face toward him to meet his lips.
They kissed for a long time.
"Maybe she's watching us
now." Chapel leaned against him
with a sigh. "She's never
entertained you?"
"Nope. Didn't want to spoil the voyeuristic magic." He laughed softly. "And I don't like the idea of sharing my
woman."
"Ah."
"What kind of ah was
that?" He pushed her into the
railing, trapping her as he ran his hands down the sides of her dress, finding
skin through the rather deep slits.
"'Ah, you cro-magnon, you'?
Or "Ah, I think I like that idea'?"
"The latter." She sighed.
"I was sharing Todd at the end.
I've heard he never dumps one girlfriend until he's secured the
next."
"I've heard that,
too. How long ago did you two break
up?" He kissed her neck again,
running his fingers down her throat to her collarbone, and then down to more
interesting places.
She moaned.
"Quite a while?"
"Under a year. Just."
"Mmmm." He didn't let up on his attack on the nerve
endings in her neck--nerve endings that seemed to be connected to other parts
of her body. If he and the railing hadn't
been steadying her, she wasn't sure her legs would have agreed to hold her up.
"How long for you?"
she asked, knowing it was not the wisest question. What if he said, "Oh,
about twelve hours ago"?
"Not quite as long as
you. But not very recently, either,"
he whispered. "Come on." He pulled her inside and shut the door.
She turned, finding him by
feel in the dark. He pulled her dress
off, letting it pool around her feet.
Her underthings followed. Pushing
her back, he left her leaning against the window as he slipped his clothes off.
"I'm mooning the entire
canal. You do realize that?" Although she didn't know how much anyone
outside could really see--their room was pitch black, only the glow of the
slivered moon outside and a thin strip of light from under the door broke the
darkness.
He laughed and pulled her to
him, then spun them around. "If
you're so shy, I'll do it."
She pushed him against the
glass, finding the idea that they were exposed and not exposed arousing. "I didn't realize you were such an
exhibitionist."
"I'm not. Usually." He spun them around again, pushed her back,
and eased her up until she wrapped her legs around him and slid down just
enough--their moans were almost in harmony.
"So you've never made
love like this in here before?"
"This is my place to
regroup, Chris. To figure life out. I come here alone."
"You're not alone
now."
"No. I'm not, am I?" He pressed his cheek against hers for a
moment, then pulled away. "No more
talking."
"Ever?"
"For the next little
while."
She could hear the smile in
his voice, could imagine how his eyes would be gleaming. His arms supporting her were a mix of sensual
delight and utter safety. She shut up
and kissed him as he took her hard, up against the window in their
dark-as-night room over one of the most famous waterways on Earth.
Todd sure as hell couldn't
top that.
----------Clio's Memories----------
Chapel woke to the bright
sunshine coming in through the windows.
She glanced over at Jim, saw that he was sleeping peacefully. Easing out of bed, she dug her robe out of
her bag and slipped it on, then wandered out to the balcony.
Across the water, on the
balcony of what she could now tell was a terracotta-colored villa, two old men
sat drinking coffee. Two white poodles
gamboled around them, yapping their heads off.
"You don't wake the man
you spent the night taking advantage of?"
Jim's breath was warm on her ear.
"You looked so
peaceful. And I didn't go far."
"I know." He wrapped his arms around her, hugged her
tight.
"Are you naked back
there?"
"I am. So don't move or we'll give the old guard
there quite the show." He made a
funny sound, sort of a sigh only shorter.
Sharper.
"What?"
"They lost one. Of the dogs, I mean. There were three last time."
"I didn't know you were
such a fan of dogs."
"I always had a dog growing
up. I had one--I left one--with
Antonia. A Great Dane. Butler."
She turned carefully, keeping
him modest while she maneuvered around to see his face. "I'm sorry."
"They don't live
long. Great Danes. I don't even know if he's still..." He shook his head. "I couldn't take him with me. The days of having dogs on a starship are
long past."
"Especially one the size
of a pony."
"Especially those." He kissed her.
She started thinking about
his ship, and what he'd been doing before he got it back. "You left Antonia a while ago, Jim. You were on Earth. Why didn't you take him with you
then?" She saw him close his eyes,
realized she was straying into deeply personal information, which might not
really be meant to follow a night of sex.
Great sex. But maybe just sex. "Never mind. I don't need to--"
"She wanted to keep
him. 'He was ours,' she said. If I was going to throw away the
relationship, then I didn't get to take him."
"But he was yours."
"No. She was right. He was ours." He let go of her--confession time apparently
over--and padded toward the hall.
"You want coffee?" His
voice was breezy--too casual?
"Are you going to make
it?"
"No, I'm going to order
it."
She realized there was a
terminal on the wall by the door. He
punched in something that looked like a lot more than a request for just
coffee.
As he worked, he said,
"Chris, not that I mind strutting around like this, but can you find me my
robe? I'm not sure the room service
staff is ready to see me in the altogether."
"Their loss, Jim,"
she said, but she dug around in his bag until she found his robe. Carrying it over to him, she wrapped it
around his shoulders, then headed back to take in the view. She found it hard not to glance back, see
what he was doing.
Did he want her to go? Should she be feeling quite this...awkward?
"They never take
long."
"Good." Her voice squeaked a little.
He shrugged into the robe,
walked over to her. "Are we okay,
here?"
"Yeah. Fine."
"Are you sure?"
She nodded. Then she turned to look at him. "Why did you leave her? You get a look when you talk about her."
"I loved her."
"But you left her. You could have brought her to San
Francisco."
He shook his head. "Returning to Starfleet was leaving her,
in her book. She wouldn't have
come."
"If she said she'd come
now, would you want that?"
"She won't say that,
Chris. She got married last year. A nice guy.
No Jim Kirk, mind you--for which she no doubt profoundly thanks God."
Chapel doubted that--could
you ever forget this man once you'd had him?
"You never brought her here?"
"No. I came here after we broke up,
though." He pulled her close. "Why do you ask that?"
"Because I can't figure
out why you brought me here."
He nodded, as if that thought
had occurred to him, too. Was he
regretting bringing her here?
The chime at their door
spared her a painful answer. He held a
finger up in what seemed like a "Hold that thought" motion as he
walked to the door. Opening it, he held
it for a waiter who wheeled in a sizeable cart covered with plates of fruits
and pastries and lots of coffee.
She smiled at the spread.
After he signed the padd and
showed the man out, Jim turned to her, staring at her from across the
room. "We were very busy last
night. I thought you might have worked
up an appetite." He walked to the
cart and pushed it closer to the small table set near the end of the row of
windows. "And you ask an interesting
question."
Pouring two mugs of coffee,
he carried them to where she stood, handing her one and drinking happily from
the other.
"I like mine
black."
He gave her a stern
look. "I know that. But this is caffe latte. The milk is mandatory."
She took a sip. If she ignored the milk, she could tell it
was nice, strong coffee underneath.
"It's good."
"It is. Now, do you want to know
the answer to your question?"
She turned and stared out at
the sparkling canal as she sipped her coffee.
"I'm not sure."
He moved closer, maneuvered
between her and the window, was staring at her.
"You think I don't want you here, don't you?"
She took another
sip--stalling.
"Chris?"
"I think you're the
consummate gentleman, Jim. Who would
never, ever, tell a woman to leave and let a good night of sex be just
that."
"Well, I'm glad to hear
that." He leaned back, his head
tilted back against the glass. "I
brought you here because it felt right.
And it still feels right."
He cupped her cheek, and she leaned into his touch. "Don't you think it's odd that we know
so much about each other, yet we've never explored this? You've never been interested in me, have
you?"
She met his eyes. "Not before Berlin."
"I know. Same here." He smiled, a sweet, soft expression that made
her want to kiss him. "Yet I seem
to have made a habit of keeping track of you.
I came to the ceremony when you made commander."
"I know. I saw you there."
"No, Chris. I came for you. I had other friends in the ranks getting
promoted that day, too. But I came to
see you get promoted."
"Did you know that
then?"
He seemed to think about
it. "I did. But it wasn't romantic. I just...care about what happens to
you."
"I do understand that. I was really happy for you when you left
Starfleet and went to live with Antonia.
It seemed like the right thing for you."
"For a while, it
was." He sighed, then threw back
his coffee. "Do you think something
happened when we found Roger? That maybe
the experience forged some kind of connection we just take for granted?"
"Maybe." She took another sip.
"Do you think that's why
I'm drawn to you now?"
She shrugged. "It's working both ways if it is. I...
Last night was..."
"Unforgettable? Earth shattering? Made you forget every other lover you've ever
had--especially Cabot?" He was
grinning.
"I was going to go with
just okay." She felt the last of
the awkwardness fall away when he laughed.
"Well, always room for
improvement, then." He started to
slowly untie her robe. "Finish that
coffee."
"What about
breakfast?"
"I'm surprised at
you. I'd expect an ops woman to have noticed
that there is nothing on that cart that will not keep just fine till we're
ready to eat it."
She laughed. "So I guess you still want me?"
He used the robe tie to pull
her with him, back to the bed. "I
want to see if you're as good in the sunlight as you were in the
moonlight."
"Moonlight's a lot more
flattering," she said as he pushed her robe off her shoulders, taking her
in, examining her.
"Sunlight's a lot more
real." He pushed her down to the
bed. "Get this robe off me, will
you?"
She pushed it off him,
pulling him down to her. His kisses felt
even better in the warm, open sunlight.
"I'm glad you're
here," he murmured.
"I thought we were going
to explore Venice," she said, as she rolled him off her, then held him
down with the judicious application of her hand to one particular part of his
anatomy.
He groaned and closed his
eyes. "I can think of other things
I want to explore more." He pulled
her up to sit on top of him, making the connection complete. "Do you have to go back today?"
She looked down at him in
surprise.
"I'm on leave until
tomorrow afternoon. Stay here another
day. Can you?"
She had the next day
off. No reason she couldn't stay. "Are you sure?"
"Did I ask or not?"
She smiled and nodded happily, then squealed as he rolled them. He ended up on top, losing the connection but
reestablishing it quickly.
"My Chris," he said
with a smile that was infinitely tender.
"Yours?" She kissed his neck, working her way to any
part of skin she could reach.
"Do you object to that
terminology?"
"No. It's just...I didn't expect this."
"I know. Neither did I. What do you say we show what fine officers we
are and take advantage of this unexpected windfall?"
She laughed and proceeded to
do just that.
----------Baubles from Erato's Grove----------
Chapel watched as Jan and Paul
danced their first dance as man and wife.
Jan's ivory dress flowed in soft
folds down her body, Paul's dark suit providing stark contrast.
"They look right
together," Ny said as she sat down next to Chapel.
"They do. And he's a super guy." Chapel had been the one to recruit him into
Ops. She'd also been the one to
introduce him to her friend. Not that
Jan had needed much help after the first hello.
If there was such a thing as love at first sight, this had been it.
"I'm glad. For her.
For them." Ny sighed, looked
a little sad.
Chapel took her hand. "I thought you were coming with
Wallace?"
"So did I. But he hasn't been handling the separation
very well. When he found out that this
leave wasn't going to be devoted to him, he didn't like it."
"Sorry."
Ny nodded, then she looked
back to where Jim was standing with Len and Hikaru. "So, I'm a little surprised you didn't
give me any warning you were with our handsome captain."
"It's new. I'm not sure what it is." She glanced back at Jim; he smiled warmly at
her before turning back to the others.
"Are you deliberately
being a dipshit? Or can you really not
see the man is 'with' you?"
Chapel took a deep
breath.
"I'm serious,
Christine."
"Ny, you know my
past. How likely do you think I am to
rush into any assumptions? I like him so
much. I enjoy being with him. I'd love it if we were a couple. But I don't know that we are. We may just be friends with options." She met Ny's eyes. "And that's all right, because being
that kind of friend to him beats being Todd's girl." Or anyone else's, but she was not going to
tell Ny that.
Ny didn't look like she
bought it, and Chapel tried to think of how to better explain it. She was saved by Jim coming up to ask her to
dance.
He held her the way a lover
would. Nothing nasty in how they moved
together, but nothing tentative, either.
"I've missed you,"
he murmured into her ear, his hand running down her dress, stopping before he
reached the limits of taste.
"I've missed you,
too." Since Venice, he'd been very
far from Earth. No more repairs or
meetings to call him back. Five months of
the kind of separation that Ny's beau had done so poorly with.
But not five months without
contact. Chapel had received comms from Jim
every few days--little missives, telling her about his day. She had a feeling he did them just before
bed. She'd sent some, too. Replies to his. Others that were from her. They took turns starting the chain, the onus
to keep up the contact had been on neither of them.
He'd sent her presents, too. Things he'd told her he wanted her to wear
when he saw her next. One was the dress
she had on now, made of a light pink fabric unlike any she'd ever seen. It was cut modestly but with extreme
elegance, sewn, according to him, by priestesses of the love goddess Maphora on
the planet Peridaini.
One side of her hair was held
back by a long clip that was made of a rosy-gold metal, simple, unadorned
except for the beautiful, tiny script that ran down it. She couldn't read it, but Jim had said it was
a famous love poem from Canus V.
When Jim had picked her up
for the wedding, she'd been tentative, unsure if she should show him how happy
she was that he was back. Their hug had
been a little awkward.
"Close your eyes,"
he'd said, then he fastened something around her neck. "Okay."
She walked to a mirror and admired
the beautiful pearls he'd given her.
Big, irregularly shaped pearls that were white with a pink luster.
"What exotic realm are
these from?" she'd asked.
"The exotic realm of Tahiti. They were...they were in the window of an
antique store. I saw them as I was
walking here from the transporter station."
"I love them." She wanted to say she loved him. Could feel the words pushing up and bit them
back. Slipping pearl studs on her ears,
she smiled, then gave a little twirl.
"Do I meet with your approval?"
"You more than
meet." He pulled her close, kissing
her. "I want you. I've been wanting you for some time."
"Me, too." She hugged him close. "If we're careful not to wrinkle
anything, we could probably--"
He put one finger over her
lips, shook his head. "We can
wait." His smile had turned
dangerous. "It'll just make it
better." He'd pulled away, taken
her hand, and led her out the door.
Jim turned her in the dance,
smiling as he watched Jan and her husband.
"She seems so happy. I'm
glad."
"She is happy. And he's a wonderful man. He'll be good to her."
He took a deep breath, seemed
about to say something, but didn't.
"What?"
"I caught the tail end
of what you were saying to Nyota. Do you
really believe we're just friends?"
"There's nothing wrong
with being friends."
"Is that what I am to
you?"
"I wasn't saying
that. I was saying that I shouldn't make
assumptions about what I am to you."
"Are you dense? Or just too well barricaded to see the
truth?" He pushed his cheek against
hers. "I don't, as a rule, send
presents to a friend I occasionally screw."
"No?"
"No. And I don't take them to Venice. And I certainly don't nearly run down from
the transporter station. Not stopping
until I'm at their door."
She frowned. "Except for at the antique shop."
"What?"
She fingered the pearls. "To get these."
Another deep breath. "I didn't--they were my grandmother's."
"Birdbath
grandmother's?"
He nodded.
She'd been about to drop her
hand from the necklace; now she held on tight.
"Why didn't you tell me that?"
"I was going to. But...it was awkward between us. And it suddenly occurred to me that the way I
feel for you might not mirror what you felt for me. And that admitting I'd given you my grandmother's
necklace might be very stupid."
"Oh."
"So. It wasn't stupid?" he asked softly.
"No, not stupid."
They danced slowly, hands
locked in the age-old stance of the waltz, only she couldn't seem to let go of
the pearls and put her hand on his shoulder.
"One of us needs to say
something," he whispered.
"I'm falling in love
with you."
"Well, thank God. I thought I was the only one."
She laughed, pulled him
closer. "I love the pearls. And the dress. And the clip." Not because they were beautiful, valuable
things, but because each one of them meant something. Nothing she'd ever gotten from Todd had
signified anything except a rich man indulging his flavor of the moment.
Jim kissed her slowly, never
losing the steps of the dance, leading effortlessly. When he pulled away, his smile was easy and
contented. "There. Now everybody knows." He laughed softly. "Bones looks a little taken aback."
"You hadn't told him,
either?"
"Nope. I wasn't certain where this was going. And when he doesn't approve, he can give a
hell of a lecture. I wasn't ready for
that until I was sure of you."
"You're a wise
man." She rubbed his neck, then up
under his hair. Then she frowned. "Does he not approve?"
"We'll find
out." He laughed softly. "I'm sure he approves of you for
me. I'm just not sure he'll approve of
me for you."
"That's silly. I'm lucky to have you."
"Yes, you are. Tell him that, all right?"
She smiled. "Do you remember Platonius?"
"I'm never likely to
forget that place, Chris."
"Do you ever wonder what
would have happened if when they were mixing things up couch-wise, you'd ended
up on mine?"
He smiled. "I never used to. But I've given it some thought lately."
"Does it go lurid places
when you think about it?"
"Oh, my, yes."
She laughed.
"When can we get out of
here?" he asked. "I'm afraid
my wedding protocol is a little shaky."
"She has to cut the
cake. And throw the bouquet. Then we can go."
"You going to try for
that?"
"For the cake? You bet.
Jan has excellent taste in sweets."
He grinned. "I meant for the bouquet."
"Oh, is that what you
meant?" She studied him. "I don't think so. Marriage isn't as important to me as being
happy. Being in love is what
matters."
"I've been married. It's overrated."
"Well, you were married
to a royal bitch. Maybe it would have
been better with someone who actually appeared to like you."
"I hate the way you
sugarcoat things, Chris." He
shrugged. "At least it was a term
marriage. No harm, no foul." He smiled suddenly. "And how do you know she was a royal
bitch?"
She thought about it. They'd never interacted socially. She just...knew.
"It goes back," he
said, "to what I was saying in Venice.
We kept track of each other. When
Decker came to me for a reference, I was thrilled to give you a glowing
one. And I wasn't just speaking about our
time on the ship--I knew how you were doing in med school."
"Being an admiral must
have been very boring if you had time to keep up with that. But I love that you did." She leaned in, whispered, "I was glad
when you and Lori didn't renew your marriage.
I didn't know why at the time.
Maybe, somehow, we are connected.
Maybe we wanted each other even then and didn't realize it?"
"Maybe." He waltzed them toward the edge of the dance
floor, led her off when the music stopped.
Back to their friends. Who would
meet them as a couple for the first time.
There were only smiles,
although Len's eyes sparked a few times with concern. Or maybe he was just perplexed as to how this
had all happened.
She wasn't entirely sure of
that herself--not that she was ever going to complain.
----------Tears of Melpomene----------
Chapel sat very still, trying
to breathe slowly and shallowly. Jan was
rocking back and forth, a constant litany of "No, no, no," breaking
the silence. Next to her, Paul lay half
buried in the rocks and dirt that had trapped them in here. Three of the children they'd been trying to
get out were just beyond him, buried in the rubble. The rest had been on their way toward the
entrance when the cave-in started, hopefully they'd gotten free.
Chapel wanted to comfort Jan--who
she'd made stop digging and using up the air when it was clear Paul was
dead--but she didn't wanted to waste any more of their oxygen. But now it was getting hot and the air was
getting stale and maybe she should have let Jan dig the love of her life out so
she could hold him, instead of sitting by him and running her bleeding hand
along his hair as she rocked and moaned.
"They'll come for us,
Jan. Just hold on." Chapel sniffed, her throat and nose raw with
dust. She wanted nothing more than to just
collapse into a fetal position and wait for death that way. But Jan needed her sitting up. Jan needed her to be in charge. To take care of them until help came.
Or until they were both dead.
At least, as deaths went, this would be peaceful. Just lean back and close their eyes and let
the heat and the closeness and the bad air lull them into their last sleep
ever.
Only Chapel didn't want to
die. Not now. Not when she and Jim were building something
good. Something real.
Who would tell him? Would he find out in time to come to her
funeral? She closed her eyes, imagining
him getting the word in a private comm.
From Cartwright, probably.
"I regret to inform you..."
"I don't want them to
come for us," Jan said, her voice low and ragged. She lay down, getting as close to Paul as she
could. "I don't want to leave
him."
Chapel crawled slowly over to
her. She stroked her arm, trying to give
something back to her friend. "He'd
want you to live, Jan. Paul would want
that."
"I don't care. I don't want to." And Jan started to cry, but then her crying
slowed, and she cuddled closer to her dead husband.
"I'm sorry, Jan."
Chapel yawned.
"I'm sorry for you. The captain loves you. I can tell." Jan yawned, too. And then she put her head on her arm and was
quiet.
"I love him,
too." Thank God, Chapel had told
him that. And he'd told her. They never had to wonder if the other
knew. She hoped he'd get the pearls
back. Keep them to remind him of what
might have been. But no. That was selfish. He was too good a man to mourn forever. To be alone.
He needed to find someone.
She didn't want him to find
someone. She wanted him to be with her. This wasn't fair.
She felt the heat pressing
down, took a breath and knew it was over.
She closed her eyes and surrendered to sleep's last call.
----------
Chapel felt something brush
her forehead, realized someone was holding her hand. She opened her eyes, blinking rapidly at the
harsh light until she gave up and closed them again.
"It's okay, Chris. Just keep them closed."
His voice. His touch.
He was here.
"Jim--" It hurt to talk, all that dust had left her
mouth so dry. She tried to swallow, felt
water dribbled into her mouth and swallowed again, this time getting some down
her throat. "How...did you get here?"
"Quit talking. You can talk later." She felt his lips on her cheek, firm and warm
as he held them there. Less a kiss, she
thought, and more a reassurance that she was alive, an affirmation that he'd
been worried. "Matthew called
me. The ship was close so I came."
She tried opening her eyes
again. This time it didn't hurt as
bad. "Jan?" she asked.
"She's in the next
bed. She's not doing well. Physically, she's all right. But..."
Chapel nodded. "Paul's dead."
"I know."
"I made her stop digging." She could feel tears welling up.
"You did the right
thing, Chris. If you hadn't, you'd have
been dead when the rescuers got to you.
You did the right thing."
She stared at him, trying to
smile through cracked lips. But her lips
were shaking and the tears started to fall freely.
"Oh,
sweetheart." He moved from his
chair to the side of the bed, pulled her up and hugged her close. "It's all right. You're all right."
She sounded as if he was
trying to convince himself, not her.
"I love you," she
whispered, wrapping bandaged hands around him.
Hands she'd torn helping Jan dig Paul out. Until she'd stopped. Until she'd made Jan stop.
"I love you." He pulled back, smiling at her, but his eyes
were frantic. "When I think of how
close I came to losing you..."
She nodded and buried her
head in his shoulder. He held her,
soothing her--and himself, she thought--and she fell asleep, rocked against
him, safe finally in his arms.
----------Polyhymnia's Release----------
"The doctor said I could
stay home longer if I didn't feel up to this." Chapel looked over at Jim as they walked down
the corridor toward Ops. "You
really think two days at home was enough time to recover?"
"You used to have me on
my feet and back on the bridge pretty damn quick. What was it you told me? The longer you wait, the harder it
gets."
"Figures you were
listening." She moved closer to
him.
"Scared?"
"Were you? Ever?"
He laughed. "Sure.
And it was often at times like this.
When I was second-guessing myself.
I've found people are a whole lot more forgiving of us than we
are." He stopped her, made her turn
to look at him. "But, Chris. There's nothing to forgive. You did what you had to do to keep two people
alive. Paul wouldn't have been helped by
your deaths."
"I know."
"Just keep reminding
yourself of that."
"That's easy to do when
it's just us. But every time I see
Jan." Jan--who was still in the
hospital. Who'd sunk into a severe depression,
refusing to eat or walk around. The
headshrinkers were working with her, and not making much progress. They'd talked to Chapel. For background info. But also, she thought, to make sure she was
going to be okay, too.
And she was. Because she had Jim. Jan...Jan had no one now.
Jim looked down the hall, and
she followed his gaze.
"I think I need to do
this alone."
"I think you do,
too." He smiled at her, looked
proud of her.
She wanted to kiss him. "You coming here. Staying with me. It's meant more than you'll ever know."
"I love you. Of course I came."
"And fortunately it was
a slow week." She smiled--the ops
officer came out at the oddest times.
"Fortunately." His grin told her she wasn't wrong. "Now, go on."
She walked the rest of the
way, silently intoning "I did what I had to do. I did what I had to do." She got to the doorway, walked around the
front, under the big screen as ops tradition demanded of its survivors. She wanted nothing more than to skulk to her
station from the back and slink into her seat.
But her seat was at the front, and this was actually the more direct
route.
She was halfway past the
first bank of stations, when her colleagues in that bank, three rows deep of
them, stood up. They didn't say anything;
they didn't clap the way they would have if all of the team had come back. They just stood, in silence, every eye
trained on her, some full of tears. She
looked at them, and had to blink back her own tears.
Cartwright came out of his
office in the back and walked to the last row, nodding at her.
She passed the next bank, and
they stood, too, and she thought she would lose control, could feel her throat
tightening. It was suddenly hard to
breathe. Before she could get to the
last bank, to her station there, her teammates stood up. She smiled, as bravely as she could. It was what was expected. And she delivered but could feel her lips
trembling. Then she sat down at her
station, put on her headphones, and called up the waiting queue of messages. She heard her colleagues sitting down,
conversation gradually starting up again.
Lieutenant Commander
Gallagher walked over, handed her a cup of coffee. "I've been covering today's queue,"
he said. "You're up to date. Jan's queue is, too. Do you want me to keep doing hers?"
Chapel nodded, taking the cup
gratefully. "Thank you."
He put his hand on her
shoulder, then walked away.
Another hand landed softly on
her shoulder, and she looked up to see Jim standing with Cartwright, both of
them smiling gently.
"I saw most of that,"
Jim said. "Didn't I tell you?"
"You told me."
Cartwright handed her a
padd. It had details on Paul's funeral
service. It was the next day. "Jan should be there," he said
softly.
Chapel met his eyes. "I'll get her there, sir."
"Okay." He nodded and left her with Jim.
"You'll have to get
tough with her, Chris. It's what Bones
had to do for me after Edith."
She remembered that. Remembered how far away their captain had
seemed. "I can do it," she
said, not at all sure how she was going to.
"I know you
can." He sighed. "Spock commed me. They need me back on the ship. I don't want to leave you but--"
She touched his hand, shaking
her head. "That you came at all was
wonderful. I know your
responsibilities. I know what you did to
get here. It means the world."
"I'd like to see it
through, though. I'd like to...for once,
just be there."
"You're on a ship,
Jim. You have a duty, and that duty is
going to take you very far from here.
And I know that. I've known it
since this started. You came. That's all that matters. Staying...well, that would just be a
bonus."
"Someday..."
"I'm not asking for
someday. All I want is now."
"Now is yours--except
when it's the ship's." He shrugged
helplessly.
"Go. I'll be fine.
I've got a lot of support here."
"Yes, you do." He leaned down, surprising her with a sweet,
quick kiss on the lips. His hand
tightened on her shoulder for a moment.
"I love you."
"I love you,
too."
Then he was up and walking away, heading back the way they'd come. She watched him until he was gone, then she
turned and got to work.
----------
"Jan, you have to get
up. Paul's service is today."
Jan ignored her. Sitting in the chair by the window, staring
out over the hills of San Francisco, a light blanket wrapped around her
legs. She looked like an old woman. Senile.
Waiting for a long-dead lover to return from an errand.
"Jan. Talk to me."
Again, just the stare. No reaction that Chapel had even said
something.
Chapel stepped in front of
her friend, blocking her view. Jan just
leaned the other way, resting her head on the side of the chair, as she stared
some more. Chapel moved again; Jan
adjusted.
"Dammit, Jan." Chapel turned, and said, "Computer, one
hundred percent screen on window two."
The window went dark, the view of the outside cut off completely.
"Put. It. Back." Jan's voice was guttural. As if she was more wild animal than
person.
Chapel felt a shiver of
warning go down her spine, but she held firm.
"No."
Jan's expression held
something that looked like hatred. "Computer,
zero percent screen on window two."
The room was flooded with light.
Chapel moved away from her.
"Computer, one hundred percent screen on all windows in room
fifteen-beta. Lock settings. Authorization
Chapel-alpha-zeta-four-four-four."
The room went dark, but light
spilling out from the bathroom kept it murky instead of pitch black.
"Isn't this better,
Jan?" She bent down, hands on the
armrests of Jan's chair. "Isn't
this what you really want? To live in
some twilight world where Paul isn't dead?
Where we aren't burying him today?"
Jan slapped her. Very hard. "You have no idea what I want."
Chapel didn't back off, even
though her cheek was stinging hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. "Jan.
You have to get dressed now. We
have to go to the funeral." She
pointed to the bed, where she'd packed a carryall of Jan's things. "I brought your dress uniform. And I'll help you get ready." She'd done it enough times on ship--that
basket-weave hairdo Jan had loved hadn't put itself together.
"I'm not going."
"You have to. Your husband is being put into the ground and
you will be there to say
goodbye."
This time Jan punched her,
knocking her back into the window ledge.
Chapel crouched, a little dazed, and then realized Jan was getting up, a
look of horror on her face as she gazed at her clenched fist, then at Chapel.
Chapel let herself cry,
hoping it was the right thing to do. The
right way to reach Jan.
"Oh, god,
Christine. I didn't mean to." Jan hurried to her, caught her up.
Chapel realized Jan was
crying, too. Racking sobs that broke Chapel's
heart and made her break down for real.
She hadn't cried very much with Jim after that first day. Hadn't needed to. But now, with her friend whose husband she
could not save, she needed to.
She hugged Jan close, wanted
to tell her it would be okay, but wasn't sure it would be. Would she want to hear that everything would
be fine if she lost Jim?
"I can't go,
Christine." Jan's voice was like a
little girl's.
"Why not?"
Jan pulled back, looked up at
Chapel. "He can't come back if I
bury him." She sobbed, seemed to be
struggling to catch her breath. "He
won't come back if I give up."
"He's not coming back,
Jan. No matter what you do or don't
do." Chapel pushed back Jan's hair. "And you have a funeral to get to. I know you.
You'll never forgive yourself later if you miss this. Now, it's time to get ready."
"I can't." Jan sniffed, again seeming like a little girl.
"I'll help
you." She pushed Jan toward the
bathroom. "Go take a shower."
Jan did what she said without
protest. As if by giving in, she was
giving up. No fight left in her.
Chapel buzzed for an
orderly. "I need this bed
stripped. And take away that
blanket." She turned to the
windows. "Computer, windows to
fifty percent screen."
"Authorization
needed."
"Chapel-beta-phi-six-two-zero."
The windows lightened
halfway.
As the orderly worked, Jan's
doctor walked in. He looked at the
bathroom's shut door. "Is that the
shower I hear?"
"Yeah."
"Wonderful." Then he looked around the room.
"Funeral's
today."
"I see. And you're stripping her bed why?" His look was concerned, his hand on the
communicator he wore.
Chapel faced him down. "She won't be coming back here after the
service."
"I don't think that's
wise, Commander Chapel."
"It's Doctor Chapel, as
well. But you know that." She moved closer.
"She shouldn't be
alone."
"She won't be. She'll be with me until she's ready to go
back to her place."
"You can't take care of
her every minute of the day."
"She and I are on the
same shift at the same place. It'll work
out."
"This is highly--"
"I didn't see you
getting her ass out of that chair. I'm
the one who got through to her. She'll
talk to me. She won't talk to you, and
it's utter madness to keep her here as if she will."
"I just don't
think--"
The bathroom door opened. Jan stood in
her robe, framed in light. Her wet blonde
curls were soft and dark. "I go
with her. End of story." Then she walked past him, grabbed the bag
Chapel had brought, and walked back into the bathroom. She turned, looking at Chapel with an
unreadable expression. Then she closed
the door gently.
"You heard her. She goes with me. End of story."
"I cannot and will
not--"
Chapel got in his face. "Do you want me to take this up the
chain? Because I will. Do you want me to use my connections to find
every single thing you've ever done wrong?
Every mistake you've ever made?
Every case of bad judgment?
Because if you get in my way, I'll do it. This is my best friend, and she's dying in
here. And I won't let that happen."
He looked afraid.
"Now, get out of my way
if you aren't going to help speed the release process."
He hurried out, and she suspected
it was to get the proper forms for her to sign.
She sat down on the now stripped bed, felt a sob shake her as her eyes
filled with tears.
The orderly stepped forward,
the bundle of sheets and the blanket in his arms--she'd forgotten he was in the
room. "Ma'am, I wish I had a friend
like you."
His words and the sweet way
he was looking at her undid her. She
nodded as tears fell freely onto her dress uniform.
The orderly stepped
closer. "I know some of his
secrets. If you need them?"
She tried to make out his
nametag through eyes gone fuzzy with tears.
Collins. "Thank you,
Collins."
"Call me
Andy." He smiled and left her
alone.
Jan walked out, hair done,
uniform on. But her face was a blotchy
mess. "I can't do this."
"I'll do it,
hon'." And Chapel hurried over, brushing
her tears away, glad for a project, something to do other than cry. Other than wonder if she knew what the hell
she was doing.
Jan stood like a statue,
letting Chapel make her up. Chapel kept the
makeup light, did it in a way that it wouldn't make a complete mess of Jan's
face if she wept.
"I heard you. With the doctor." Jan met her eyes. "You sounded like the captain."
Chapel laughed. She'd been trying to sound like him. Fiercest man she knew, next to Len on a
rant. Not everyone responded to Len, but
she didn't know very many people who wouldn't back down in front of a
determined James T. Kirk.
"I don't have to stay
with you, Christine. I know Jim's
here. You don't need someone in the
way."
"Jim went back to the
ship, Jan. You won't be in the
way."
"But--"
"Stop talking,
Jan." She smiled. She'd sounded like Jim there, too.
She knew he'd be proud of
her.
----------Terpsichore's Steps----------
The recreation lounge of the Enterprise was crowded. A lot of the people were on the dance
floor--mostly crew but a large contingent of Emergency Ops folks, too. Chapel was sitting next to Jim at the bar,
facing out, watching the goings on. He
had his arm pressed against hers very tightly, making her feel warm and
happy. He didn't go in for much in the
way of public displays in front of his crew, but he generally touched her in
ways no one would be bothered by: the press of his arm, maybe his leg against
hers under a table, a hand settling on her shoulder for a moment before he
moved on.
"Nice that we could team
up on this mission," he said.
"Cartwright is being
very indulgent these days." She
looked out to where Jan was dancing with Hikaru. "I don't think it's just for us. I think he's more worried about her."
"I was surprised you
brought her with you."
"He wasn't sure about
it, either. But she has to get out, has
to get back to work. And where better
than with her family?" She looked
at Jim. "She feels safe here. She's doing well."
He lifted a glass to
her. "You were right. No question there. The difference in her since we started is
encouraging."
"I know." She sighed.
"Jim, she's having such a hard time. I'm running out of ways to help her. Maybe...maybe I brought her here not because
I thought it was the best thing, but because I was desperate."
"I don't think so. Although I don't doubt you're feeling the
strain."
"It's easier here with
you."
"I'm glad." He broke with tradition, took her hand and
just held it. "I've missed
you. So much."
"I've missed you,
too."
"You're all right? No lingering effects?"
"A bit claustrophobic
now. I'm a little afraid of my own
closet, but other than that..."
He squeezed her hand. "Good."
"I dream about it
sometimes and--" She worried at her
lip. He did not need to hear this.
"And...?"
"Nothing."
"Chris. Spill."
She met his eyes. "Sometimes it's not Paul who's lying
trapped. It's you."
"We're both in dangerous
lines of work. It's natural to have
fears that manifest in our subconscious."
"Are you saying you
dream about me, too?"
He nodded.
"How...?"
"You don't want to
know. I've lost a lot of people in my
life, Chris. The possibilities are
legion." He looked out at the dance
floor, sighed as he watched Jan and Hikaru dance. "You do realize Sulu's crazy about her?"
She nodded.
"Jan doesn't know,
though, does she?"
"I don't think so. She considers him one of her best
friends. But she's never figured out how
deep his feelings go. And he's never
told her."
"Women can be so dense
sometimes." He grinned as she
turned to him. "Present company
excepted."
"She was
distracted. By you. By Paul." Chapel saw Spock coming up to them, dropped
the subject. "Captain Spock."
"Commander Chapel."
They stood around awkwardly
until Len, who'd been watching from a few seats down, apparently took pity on
them. "So, how about those
playoffs?"
She wasn't sure what
playoffs, or even what sport. But she
turned to him, ready to hear all about them.
"Regale Spock with
playoff talk, Bones. I'm going to dance
with Chris."
She let him lead her off,
went into his arms gratefully.
"Thanks."
"You and Spock need to
work on that witty repartee. Or just
words. Hello. How are you?
The basics."
"It's not just me. He's not easy to talk to."
"I think I'll lock you
two in a room and--" He seemed to
think about that. "No, I think I'll
lock you two in separate rooms and make you talk via intercom."
She laughed.
"Why tempt fate? You were in love with him once."
"I'm not anymore. I love this other guy."
"Yeah?"
"Uh huh."
"Is he nice?"
"Very."
Jim winced. "Kiss of death, Commander. Nice?"
"He's also very
sexy." She rested her head on his
shoulder. "And warm. And caring.
Powerful and strong."
"Your riff is
improving."
She laughed. "And in bed--oh, mama."
"Good, huh?"
She could hear his grin. "Good does not begin to cover it."
"Hmmm. Sounds like you've made quite the
catch."
"Sounds like." She took a deep breath.
"This catch wishes you
were with him."
She frowned. "I am with him. That was you I was talking about." She straightened up and stared at him. "You got that, right?"
He rolled his eyes. "Yes, I got it. I meant that I wish you were with me...all
the time."
She stopped dancing. He did, too.
The other couples had to navigate around them.
"Doctor Tyler is leaving,"
he said. "Second in command in
medical will open up. You've done it
before, I know that. It might not be
something you want to do again. But
medical is...independent."
"You want me on the
ship?"
"I want you on the ship
more than I've wanted anything in a long time."
"Will the ship share
you? Your other girl?"
"She'll share me."
She smiled, laughed a
little. Then she looked over at Jan and
her smile faded. "I can't right
now."
"I can find her a
place." He pulled her off the dance
floor.
"She's a commander. You don't just find her a place. Is there a real job open? One that fits her skills?"
"No. But is she at her best? Could she handle a real job just yet?"
"No." She felt like she was betraying Jan, but it
was the truth. She'd made progress, but
she wasn't there yet.
"How long before she
can?" He leaned in, took hold of
her shoulders--she almost thought he would shake her, but he didn't. "On this ship, with us. How long?"
"I don't know."
"But she'll do better here,
right? Better with us?"
"Yes." She looked down. Would Jan?
Or did Chapel just want to be with Jim so bad she'd say Jan would?
"There'll be a real job
by the time she's ready. Or"--he
looked around, as if to make sure no one was within earshot--"when Sulu
leaves, she can go with him."
"When he leaves?"
"I have it on good
authority he'll get Excelsior. Not right
away, because that ass Styles won't be budged until he retires. But eventually, it'll be Sulu's."
"Oh." She laughed nervously, suddenly
overwhelmed. And feeling a bit caged
in. "I thought I was done making career
choices for a man."
He looked hurt. "Never mind, then. If that's how you look at it."
"Well, how should I look
at it?"
"You'd be making a career
choice for us, Chris. Not for
me." He let go of her and got up,
leaving her sitting as he made his way back to the bar.
Len walked over, carrying two
glasses of champagne. He handed her one.
"What's the
occasion?"
He handed her the other
glass.
"Len?" She put the glasses down on a nearby table.
"He's breaking every
rule he has for you, Christine."
"You were
listening?"
"Didn't have to. He's been grilling me on Tyler's estimated
departure date and would I mind working with you again. The man is about as subtle as a bull right
now. And that, to me, says that he's
operating on something that he's not controlling. This is the real thing, kiddo. He loves you and for once in his sorry
romantic life, he can make love work for him."
"What about ops?"
"If you care more about
ops than you do about him, then tell him that now and let him get free in one
piece."
"That's not fair. I love him, too."
Len leaned forward. "Christine, I know you've had a hard
time of it. Hell, we all have. A sadder group of brokenhearted people I'm
not sure you could find unless you were watching a Tennessee Williams
vidfest."
She looked down.
"You aren't the only one
who's been hurt. But you are the one
he's offering this to. If you love him,
then you'll take it."
She sighed. The thing that usually stung the worst about
a McCoy lecture was that he was so rarely wrong.
"If you can't do this,
then go back to your quarters--quarters I imagine you have not seen much of
this past week--and start packing."
"I'm going to have to
pack eventually either way."
"You know what I
mean."
She shot him a look she hoped
was longsuffering. "Any other words
of wisdom?"
"Nope. Just a warning. If you break his heart, I'm going to have to
hurt you."
"If I break his heart?"
"Yep." He gestured to the two glasses of champagne
he was holding. "Now, why don't you
go toast what a great idea he's had--and what a goddamned fool you can
be."
She picked up the glasses,
carried them over to where Jim stood with Spock.
He looked at the
glasses. "There are three of us,
Chris."
Spock immediately started to
back away. "I shall leave--"
Jim's hand flashed out,
caught him by the sleeve. "By all
means stay."
"Yes, stay. You may as well witness this." She handed Jim the glass of champagne. "A toast."
"To...?"
"Great ideas by
wonderful men."
Jim didn't drink.
Spock glanced at her, then at
Jim. "As toasts go, Jim, that seems
most benign. Perhaps a sip."
"You're not helping,
Spock." He let go of Spock's
sleeve.
Spock started to back away
again.
She caught his sleeve this
time. "Don't move. You are helping."
Spock actually sighed.
"There's more," she
said. "To great ideas by wonderful
men, and to stupid women who don't know a great deal when they hear one."
"I'll drink to the
second part." Jim threw back half
the glass.
"Ah. This is that matter we discussed." Spock saw her face and looked down.
"You talked to him
before you talked to me?" She let
go of Spock's sleeve.
Spock, apparently sensing
that the getting was not going to be good for much longer, fled.
"I was only seeing if he
thought it was feasible."
"It would have been nice
if you'd asked me if it was feasible. I
am half of this equation. Or are we
dividing by three?"
"Don't even..."
"You made a lot of
assumptions on my behalf." She
could feel her mouth tightening up, knew it was not her best look. "And Jan's."
"And that was very
stupid of me." He threw back the
rest of the drink, slammed it down on the bar, and stalked off into the crowd.
She looked back at
McCoy. He just shook his head, his expression
more disappointed than mad.
Chapel put her glass on the
bar and headed for the quarters she'd had no occasion to use up to now.
----------
Her chime rang and she
hurried to it. But it wasn't Jim. It was Jan.
"Jan. How are you doing?"
"You think I don't know
what's going on, don't you? You think
I'm so out of it, I can't hear things?"
"What are you talking
about?"
"You're mad at him for
not giving you a say. But you don't even
ask me if I want to be on the ship?"
"Who told you?"
"No one did. I just listened. You think I'm in my own world, but I was right
there on the dance floor, and you two weren't that far away." She sat down on the bed. "And then when you stormed out, I asked
him. Because it was clear he was
upset. How could you upset him?"
"Why? Just because he's the great James T. Kirk, I
shouldn't upset him?"
Jan was looking at her like
she was an idiot. "No. Because he loves you. And you love him. And he's found a way for you to be
together. And you just never know when
it's going to end, do you?" She was
starting to cry but held up a hand when Chapel moved toward her. "You're not thinking of me. You're still protecting yourself."
"That's not true." But it probably was. Chapel looked down. "Jan, I love him. And it terrifies me how much."
"I want to come back
here. I'll do it with or without
you. Because it means the world to me
that he'll find me a home here." She
stood up, walked over to Chapel.
"But right now, you're my home.
When no one else thought I was going to get any better, you were there
for me. And I don't want to lose
that. I want us all here."
Chapel blinked, tears
cascading down her cheeks.
"Jan. I'm sorry."
"I know it's scary. I know love has been cruel to you, Christine. I've watched you all these years, seen you hurting
and lonely. But Jim loves you, and he'll
never hurt you the way Todd did. Or ignore
you the way Spock did."
"I know."
"But, Christine, he may
die. He takes chances, and he comes back
hurt, and one of these days his luck may run out. Do you really want to have thrown away the
time you could have had?" She took
Chapel in her arms, comforting instead of being comforted. "I lost my Paul. But I never have to look back and ask myself
why I wasted our time together. We lived
every moment. Why the hell are you
throwing your moments away?"
Chapel didn't have an answer
to that. Not one that did her any
credit.
Jan gently wiped what was no
doubt smeared makeup off Chapel's cheeks.
"You're my best friend. And
you saved me. And now I'm going to save
you. Go get him." And she turned Chapel and aimed her for the
door. "Go."
Chapel hurried back to the
lounge, was nearly running when she hit the doors.
He wasn't there. She did another sweep of the room, checked
the balconies. Nothing.
"I believe," Spock
said, sidling up to her like a stoolie in an old noir vid, "that he went
down to Engineering."
"Thank you." She smiled at him, saw his eyes lighten a
little. Probably the only time she'd ever
raised that reaction out of him.
"You're a good friend."
"I think it is time I
started to be. To both of you."
"Never too
late." She turned and ran to the
lift, riding it down to Engineering.
Jim was there, all right,
pacing around the warp engine. He turned
when she walked in, as if he knew it was her somehow.
She held her hands out. "I'm an idiot."
He walked toward her. "I should have talked to you about
it. I'm so used to planning things. And I thought it would be a surprise."
"It was a surprise."
"No, it was a
shock. Not quite the same
thing." He took her hand, tucked it
into his arm, and strolled out with her to the corridor. Just as they had in Berlin, only with no
hipflask this time.
"I'm scared," she
said, as they headed for the lift.
"What if it doesn't work?
I'll be here, under foot. Talk
about awkward."
"I can transfer
off." He grinned.
"Your ship would kill
me. And so would Len."
"Why wouldn't it work,
Chris?"
"Other than the fact
that you and I have never had a successful relationship?"
He started to laugh. "I really don't like thinking about it
that way."
"Sorry. You know me.
Honest." She sighed. "Jan wants to stay."
"I know she does. She told me." He glanced at her. "I take it she's why you came back?"
"Not because she wants
to stay here. She just...put some things
in perspective for me."
"Such as?"
"Such as that I'm a
coward where love's concerned. This
dance we're doing? The only steps I know
lead right off a cliff."
He smiled. "Let's learn new ones, then."
The lift opened; they were on
his deck. He palmed open his door for
them, pulled her to him as soon as the door closed. "I love you. Don't put me through this again." And then he was ripping off her uniform and
pushing her down to his bed.
She tried to take off his
uniform. He wasn't helping, was instead
kissing his way down her body, until he hit a spot that made it impossible for
her to do anything more complicated than lie back, wriggle, and moan.
When she finally lay still,
he eased up next to her, holding her, the rough felt of his uniform scratching
her. "Unlimited access to those if
you stay," he murmured.
"An orgasm bribe?"
He grinned. "You do seem to like them."
"I do, don't
I?" She turned, finally could get
his uniform off him. "If you still
want me to stay, I'd be most pleased to accept your offer."
"Cartwright's going to
kill me. He was grooming you, you
know?" He began to kiss her neck.
She stopped him. "I do know--and that I'm giving that
up." She let him go. "I'm choosing to give those up. My.
Choice."
"Yes, dear. I will not make joint decisions alone
again. I promise." He resumed his attack on her neck.
"Okay, then." She pulled him onto her.
"Why, my darling. I'd think you have a one-track mind
but--oops. Now how did that get in
there?"
She was laughing.
"What should I
do?" But he was already doing
it. Masterfully, despite the banter.
She moaned, threw her head
back. "I love you, Jim."
He nuzzled her neck, moved
down to her chest. "Well, you keep
me on my toes, that's for sure."
She could have this all the
time. Any time she wanted. Go to bed with him. Wake up with him. Have many, many orgasms with him. And she'd almost turned this down?
What the hell was wrong with
her? She owed Jan a hell of a lot of
drinks as payback for her intervention.
----------Temple of Thalia----------
Chapel sat next to Jan in the
bar of the Saint Regis, trying to avoid being elbowed by the crowd of
scientists who were enjoying the break between the conference sessions and the
awards presentation. She glanced over at
Jan, trying to make sure that Jan wasn't feeling as claustrophobic as she was,
but her friend looked serene.
She felt something poking her
in the chest, fiddled with the tiny mike the tech support guy had outfitted her
with. Red light meant ready but not
transmitting. Green light meant everyone
in the vicinity of the conference speakers would be able to hear her. She checked to make sure it was red.
"So what award are you
presenting, again?" Jan asked, sipping at her chardonnay.
"Long-term biochem
project. The nominees are pretty
interesting." She started to
explain why, saw Jan's eyebrow go up.
"Sorry. I was having a
science nerd moment."
Jan just laughed, then she
hit Chapel on the leg. "Check out
who's here."
Down the bar, Todd Cabot was
making the rounds. Buying drinks for
ladies, glad-handing the men. He saw
Chapel watching him, nodded slightly, but his smile was sly, like he knew she
knew what he was up to.
"Trolling," Chapel
murmured. "It's like his personal
meat market."
"He's such a pig,"
Jan said.
"He really is."
Someone tapped her on the
shoulder. She turned around to see the
tech guy. "We're ready for you,
Commander."
Biochem was relatively early
in the program. They'd told her to get
backstage before the other conference goers started the press into the dining
room. Once her part was over, she could
join Jan at their table and enjoy what would no doubt be a mediocre meal of
house salad, rolls, some kind of chicken dish with anemic-looking vegetables
and rice, and dessert. All washed down
with weak ice tea, and later burnt-tasking coffee. Chapel had been to too many of these things.
She followed the tech guy
down the gold and green carpeted hall, into the ballroom, then out a back exit
where she could either go straight for what looked like the kitchens, or left
and up some stairs to the backstage area.
She went left. There were a few
other presenters milling around. They
looked nervous, were pacing and practicing their lines.
"So. How are you Christine?" Todd's voice sent shivers down her
spine. And not the good kind.
She turned, saw him standing
on the stairs. "I'm great."
"I heard you were getting
back into medicine. On Jim Kirk's ship."
"That's right."
"I heard Jim Kirk was getting
into you." He made a nasty gesture
with his hands.
She took a deep breath. "Did you want something?"
"No. I stopped wanting anything from you a while
ago, dearest."
His words would have stung
her before Jim. Now, they just made her
feel bad for all the other women he would no doubt hurt.
"You really don't like
women, do you?"
"If you weren't so great
to screw, I'd have no use for you at all."
He leaned in. "Do you want
my personal view of females? I don't think I ever shared it with you."
She knew reaching down and
hitting the mike switch was bad and wrong.
But she did it anyway, then glanced down to make sure the light had gone
from red to green. "Yes,
please. Tell me about the Todd Cabot
Personal Philosophy of Women. But first,
I just need to know something. You only
come to these things to find new meat, right?"
"Well, I certainly don't
come for the conversation."
She thought that was a
lie. But he was trying to hurt her, and
so she didn't correct him. Besides, it
worked better for what she hoped would be the imminent crash and burn of
Lothario Todd. She could hear an echo of
her question from the speaker, marveled that he couldn't. But he looked like he was just getting warmed
up.
"Scientists must be so
easy to hurt, aren't they, Todd?"
"They are. There's a certain...naivete to them that I
enjoy."
"I bet. So your theory? You were going to share it." She could hear people filling up the dining
room, but the sound was more subdued than normal. Clearly a lot of people were listening to the
"Chapel Gets Her Revenge" show.
There was a sudden reverb
from one of the stage mikes, and he glanced around. "What the hell...?"
"You're live at Science
West, Todd. Your personal meat market. And all the lovely ladies in the audience got
to hear at least part of that."
"Chapel, you're a
bitch."
"I know. If only I'd been more of one when I met you, I'd
have spared myself a lot of wear and tear."
Todd walked away.
"Oh and ladies, he sucks
in bed." She heard a tittering go
through the audience, then a chorus of boos as Todd entered the ballroom from
the service door. Chapel didn't think
he'd be sticking around.
A woman she'd never seen
before bounded up the stairs and gave her a big hug. "Thank you. I lost four months of my life to that
bastard."
The organizer of the event
was right behind her. "Did you have
to do that? He's been most
generous."
"He still will be. He'll be trying to restore your faith in
him. In fact, I bet he gets more
generous." Todd hated to lose, but
he just might find reforming his reputation a tough sell on any woman who'd
been at this conference to hear the conversation. Then again, there were always new fish in the
sea. She couldn't save them all. But this group--she could save them.
"I suggest we let
biochem go first this year," the presenter said. "There's going to be a bit of fuss over
you, I'm afraid." He looked so
mournful, she felt bad.
Almost.
----------Urania's Home----------
Chapel finished putting her
stuff away in her new office and walked out to the main part of sickbay to
watch the stars stream by as the ship moved into warp. It was a subtle feeling, not one she'd
noticed when she'd first signed onto the Enterprise
all those years ago for that first mission.
But once you knew the feel, you never forgot it. She took a deep breath, let it out, and
realized that for the first time in years, she wasn't on the edge of her chair
waiting for the next emergency.
It felt...good. It also felt odd as hell, and she thought her
body would take awhile to lose the constant readiness status. She'd been an adrenaline junkie for too long
to just adjust overnight.
"Settling in?" Len walked over, standing next to her to
watch the stars. "I never thought
I'd be back here, you know? After I left
the ship the first time. But Jim calls
and I come running. Well, the first time
he had to shanghai me. But now, I come
running." He smiled at her. "I haven't said this yet, but I'm so
glad you're back. You're the only one
who understands me."
"And yet I still like
you." She leaned up against him,
shoulder to shoulder, to take any sting out of the words.
But he didn't seem to mind. He just
laughed, a big smile on his face.
"And the only one who'll sass me."
"Sass I have
aplenty." She smiled, remembering
that first walk in Berlin. Had it been
her sass that had attracted Jim? Or was
it just their time?
"You didn't answer my
question. Are you settling
in?"
He hadn't really given her a
chance to answer. But then, he always
circled back, so she hadn't been worried he'd forget.
"I am. It feels like coming home."
"It is like coming
home. We're family." He held an arm out wide. "Here among the stars."
She laughed.
"I saw Jan," he
said softly, keeping this part of the conversation low, away from the ears of
nurses or orderlies. "She was down
in hydroponics."
"That's just one of her
stops. Jim and Hikaru came up with an
accelerated 'Learn the ship by Christmas' plan."
"They grooming her for
something?" Len's grin told her he
knew exactly what she might be being groomed for.
"One could think
that."
"It'll be good for
her." He shook his head. "I liked Paul so much. Was so happy for her. For it to end like it did..."
"I know."
"It's why I couldn't
mind my own business with you and Jim. I
want you both to be happy. Happy
together--well, that's just perfect."
She laughed softly. "He's up there. On the bridge. It's such an unexpected luxury: seeing him
whenever I want." She shot Len a
look. "And if I follow your
example, I could just loiter up there."
"I wasn't
loitering. I was taking the pulse of the
ship's command team. I had to know what
their dynamic was, how each operated under different conditions. Otherwise, how would I ever know when
something was off?"
"That makes an annoying
amount of sense. Have you been talking
to Spock?"
"I'm always talking to
Spock, darlin'. You know that."
She smiled.
"Are you talking to him?"
"I am. We have progressed beyond pleasantries. I think we may have had a ten-sentence
exchange when I reported last night.
About work, but still..."
"Progress, then."
"Yep." She looked around sickbay, knew she'd need to
get to know it, how it was different than their old one, how it was the same. But not right now. "I'm going down to hydroponics."
"And then up to the
bridge?"
"Well, I'll need to get
a feel for the dynamic, too, won't I?"
He waved her off. She walked the corridor slowly, nodding to
the crewmen she passed. The pace here
was so much more leisurely, although she knew that would change if an alert
sounded. But for now, people were
walking easily, talking to friends or coworkers.
She rode the lift down to
hydroponics, walked in and saw Jan at the end of a row of what looked like
vegetables. She looked happy. Busy.
At peace.
Jan didn't seem to have
noticed her, so Chapel backed out, not wanting to disturb her when she looked so
at ease. Jan didn't need her friend
checking up on her if all was well.
Chapel turned, nearly ran
into Jim. "Well, hello."
He was grinning like a mad
fool.
"Coming down to check on
Jan?"
"No. Coming down to find you. Bones said you'd headed down here."
"Old gossip."
He laughed. "How is she? Since you checked...?"
"She's doing fine."
"Good."
"What you've done for
her, Jim. Cross training in all the
sections..."
"It's not just for
her. She's an excellent officer. It's for me and the ship--ultimately for the
fleet."
"I love you."
He grinned and took her arm,
and she realized he meant to stroll the deck.
"It's so nice having you here to do this with."
"Oh? Who'd you do this with before?"
"Anyone who'd have
me." His grin was brilliant.
"Well, I can see why
you'd prefer to have an old standby."
He palmed open a door to an
empty conference room, pulled her in, and shoved her against the wall. "You're not old. I am."
"And you're taking
advantage of me in a meeting room. I'm
shocked and appalled." She smiled,
but she was a little surprised--and pleased--that he wanted her this much.
"I'm sure I won't need
to do this once I get used to having you around." He kissed her. "Having you underfoot."
She kissed him back. "Having me in your hair." She was digging her fingers into his hair,
rubbing the way he liked.
"There, too."
They kissed for a long time,
and he didn't take it any further than that.
Although she did have to let him run through some engineering
computations before he felt presentable enough to leave the conference room and
walk the halls.
"I get to you," she
said, as they continued their constitutional to the lift.
"You do indeed. I imagine you always will." He squeezed her hand, then let her go. "Want to come loiter on the bridge like
Bones does?"
"He says he has a reason
for that."
"Of course he
does." He grinned. "Come up. Just for a while."
"There is a better view
of the stars up there." There was
an even better view from the lounge, as far as that argument went, but she
noticed Jim didn't bring that to her attention.
She exhaled slowly, realized
she was happy. It was not a feeling she
had very much experience with.
She'd be sure to make it very
welcome: happy was a feeling she definitely
wanted to get used to.
FIN