DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2012 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.

Vignettes After a Voyage Nearly Undone

by Djinn

 

 

 

Spock watched his younger self hurry off and wondered what the future would bring for the man.  For himself.  Pronouns were going to be problematic.

 

He turned and saw Christine talking to Doctor McCoy, and his breath caught.  She seemed to feel his eyes on her, looked up and smiled in a strange way.

 

Spock turned away, hurrying off to the quarters Starfleet had assigned him.

 

ÒSir?  Sir, wait.Ó

 

He slowed but did not turn.  Her voice—that voice, so young, so innocent still.

 

ÒI'm not sure what to call youÓ—she grabbed him, her hand strong; he'd forgotten how strong she was—Óand I'm not trying to make a scene.Ó

 

He turned, drank in her face, the blue eyes, the lips that bore his kisses—only not now, not yet, and judging by his younger self's affection for Nyota, not ever.

 

ÒYou're Spock, aren't you?Ó

 

He pulled back, yanking his sleeve from her grasp.  ÒI'm afraid you have me confused with someone else.Ó

 

ÒI have eyes.  You look just like him, sir, only older.Ó

 

Sir.  It sounded so strange coming from this woman who had been his lover for so long.

 

ÒThis is not a matter to discuss here.Ó

 

ÒThen where?Ó

 

ÒI think nowhere.Ó

 

She smiled, that lovely sensual smile he remembered but never on a face this young.  ÒI think you donÕt mean that.Ó

 

ÒAnd what logic leads you to that conclusion?Ó

 

ÒYou stare at me.  All the time.  I noticed it when I first saw you, and then I started to hang around just to see if I was imagining it.  I wasnÕt.Ó  She moved closer.  ÒI was with you, in your reality, wasnÕt I?  Not Nyota

 

ÒEverything is different here.Ó

 

ÒWhich means yes, or youÕd have just said no.Ó  She laughed at his expression.  ÒOh, donÕt worry.  I donÕt have dastardly plans for your doppelganger.  I donÕt even like him much.  IÕm just...curious.Ó

 

ÒYes.  You were always that way.Ó

 

ÒYou loved me—her?Ó

 

ÒI did.Ó

 

ÒHow long has she been dead?Ó

 

ÒAt least a lifetime.Ó  He knew it was a self-indulgently imprecise answer, but she smiled and took his arm. 

 

He did not shake free, even though he knew he should. 

 

ÒAll your parts in working order, sir?Ó  She shot him the grin he had loved, the one his Christine had always given him just before seducing him.

 

ÒThey are.  I...think.  It has been quite a while.Ó

 

ÒYeah, for me, too.  FiancŽ went missing, showed up last year running a business making pleasure androids.  He was a famous scientist and now heÕs a rich businessman with no time for me.Ó  She glanced at him.  ÒIs that how it ended in your reality?Ó

 

ÒNo.  Doctor Korby died.  Shot by one of his pleasure androids.Ó

 

ÒI like your version better.Ó  She grinned again.  ÒSo you do want to have sex with me, right?Ó

 

ÒI do.  Very much.  But I must point out that I do not know you.  I may simply be trying to recapture what I have lost.Ó

 

ÒWell, points for honesty, Spock.Ó  She smiled.  ÒLook, you intrigue me.  Which is more than I can say for most of the guys around.  So take me to bed, mister.Ó

 

He felt off balance.  Should he do this?  Was this right?

 

She moved closer, rubbing the top of his hand gently with her fingers.  ÒAre you really having to think this hard about it?  I look just like her, only better, I imagine? What with the youth and dewy beauty.Ó  She laughed softy, as if at herself.  She did not let up on the attack on his hand, which had suddenly become an erogenous zone of immense proportions.


ÒVery well.Ó

 

ÒYour enthusiasm is overwhelming.  You do remember how to do it, right?Ó  Her soft laughter was just as he remembered it.  The good-natured mocking, the sweetness underneath.

 

He gave her his best Vulcan look of disapproval.

 

She only smiled wider.  ÒOoh, finally got a rise out of you.Ó 

 

ÒYou have been getting a rise out of me for some time.Ó

 

ÒAnd witty repartee comes with the package, too?  IÕve never seen that with our Spock.Ó

 

ÒYou are not rubbing his hand in the same way, I imagine?Ó

 

ÒWell, no.  Is that the secret?Ó  She grinned and ceased her attack on him. 

 

He stopped in front of his door.  ÒThis is not a good idea, Christine.Ó

 

ÒOf course not.  Nothing fun ever is.  Now open the damn door, Spock.Ó

 

He studied her, looking for any sign of hesitation.  He knew his version of her well enough to believe he would see the same signs in this Christine.  But all he saw was amusement and impatience. 

 

So he opened the damned door, as sheÕd ordered. 

 

Once they were inside, she did not resume her attack on him, but went instead to his window and looked out on the Academy grounds.  ÒPretty view.Ó

 

He smiled.  A real smile.  His Christine had done that often.  Given him access to her neck, loved to be held from behind, his arms around her, his lips on her as they looked out at whatever view they had to enjoy, even if it was the wall of a neighboring building.

 

He walked over to her, put his hands on her shoulders and heard her sigh, then relax under his gentle grip.  She eased her head to the side, and he kissed her neck the way heÕd learned she liked long ago.

 

She still liked it that way.  Still—the wrong word and yet not.

 

He let his hands slip around her, pulling her back to him, cradling her under her breasts.  She sighed happily, put her hands over his.  Then she turned enough so he could kiss her on the lips. 

 

It was like coming home.  He felt as if his body was waking from a decadesÕ long sleep.  This was his mate, it seemed to say.  She smelled the same, she felt the same, she kissed the same.

 

At some basic level, she was the same.

 

She turned so she was fully against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him more deeply now that it was not so awkward a position.  They kissed for a long time, until he eased away and began to undress her, no longer able to distinguish between his Christine and this Christine.  She was Christine.  He wanted her.

 

She slipped his robe off, then his undergarments.  And they were naked. 

 

He took a breath.  Waited.  He was an old man and he knew it.  There was no logic in trying to hide his age.  Although one part of him was standing at attention in a way that belied his years.

 

And she smiled when her eyes traveled down.  ÒYou like me.Ó

 

ÒVery much.Ó

 

She pushed him back, then onto the bed, and crawled on top of him, kissing everywhere, over age spots and lines and scars. 

 

ÒYou like older men?Ó

 

ÒUsually.  And older men seem to think these things are bad, these tokens of life lived.Ó  She smiled at him, then stroked her smooth skin.  ÒDid I have them when you knew me?  Battle scars?Ó

 

ÒMany.Ó

 

ÒWas I beautiful to you anyway?Ó

 

ÒYou were.Ó

 

She kissed him more tenderly than before.  Then she moved so she was on him.  ÒReady?Ó

 

He nodded, breathed out slowly as she settled onto him.  And then she was with him.  This lovely girl.  His Christine and not his Christine.  He could love her with so little effort.

 

She rode him like she had done it for years, not as if this was their first time together.  She took her pleasure easily before she let him find the rhythm that would send him to completion.  He enjoyed her gentle tyranny.

 

He returned the favor when he had rested sufficiently, when he had her underneath his mouth, when he could take her to the edge and then stop, ease off, take her back, until she begged and cursed and finally just said, ÒSpock, please?Ó

 

And he let her finish.  She was loud, clutching the sheets and writhing, and he was inside her before she had come all the way down. 

 

She smiled as he moved.  ÒAll parts are definitely in working order.Ó

 

ÒIndeed.Ó  Then he gave up talk, just moved inside her, found his way back to a place he thought he had lost forever.

 

As he rolled off her, he reached for her hand, realized he needed the connection with her.  She squeezed his gently. 

 

ÒThis was a gift.Ó  He closed his eyes.

 

She nestled against him.  ÒDo you want it to be a one-time gift or the kind that you get periodically?  And neither answer will make me mad.Ó

 

He turned and studied her.  She seemed very relaxed, her mouth curled into a soft smile. 

 

He touched her lips with his fingers.  So soft and firm.  ÒI would very much like this to continue.  If that is agreeable to you?Ó

 

ÒI wouldnÕt have asked if it wasnÕt.Ó  Her smile grew bigger.  ÒAnd thatÕs the answer I prefer.Ó  She touched his ear, laughing softly at his sharp intake of breath.  ÒAm I just like her?Ó

 

ÒNo.  You are yourself.  But you are very similar in ways I find comforting.Ó

 

ÒWell, clearly you know what I like in bed.Ó  She ran her fingers over his ear again.  ÒI need to play catch up.Ó

 

ÒYou were always a quick study.Ó

 

ÒThat hasnÕt changed.Ó  She abandoned his ears, slid her fingers down his cheek, then his neck, his chest, over his hips to his groin.  ÒSo, without offending you, how much life is in my friend, here?  I like him, you see.  IÕd like him to come out and play some more, but if heÕs not interested right now or anymore tonight, it would be good to know that.Ó

 

ÒThat is a brave question.Ó

 

ÒAlso efficient.  Why waste energy and create friction between us when I could just ask?Ó

 

He pulled her to him and kissed her very hard—not because it was something his Christine would have asked, but because it wasnÕt.  ÒYour friend is not interested right now.  But later, I am fairly certain he will be.Ó

 

ÒYouÕll let me know when he is?Ó

 

ÒI will.Ó  He let his fingers travel down her body the way sheÕd done to him.  ÒI imagine that you might have a more frequent need for release.  Fortunately, there are many ways to give you pleasure.Ó

 

ÒYes,Ó she said as she arched her back and closed her eyes.  ÒYes, there are.Ó

 

##

 

Chapel knew she was sauntering as she walked down the corridor of the Enterprise toward Nyota, but she couldnÕt help it.

 

Nyota hooked her arm in hers as soon as Chapel reached her.  ÒWell, you little slut, how was he?Ó

 

ÒOh my God.  I am officially jealous of you.Ó

 

ÒWell, you donÕt know that you should be, really.  I mean your Spock was with you, wasnÕt he?  You were right about that?Ó

 

ÒI was.Ó

 

ÒSo, you—the other you—may have taught him everything you like.  Whereas my Spock does what I like, which may not be what you like.Ó

 

Chapel started to laugh.  ÒI know what you like.  We talk about what you like all the time.  ItÕs the same thing I like.Ó

 

ÒWell, in general terms.  We both like orgasms, sure.  But thatÕs the destination.  The journey is the where we might say vive la difference, no?Ó

 

Chapel put her head on NyÕs shoulder.  ÒYou crack me up.Ó

 

ÒDitto.  So are you going to see him again?Ó

 

ÒPretty sure.  You know how I like older men.Ó

 

ÒYes, I get to hear Leonard bitch about it to Spock and Jim all the time.  Would you give the man a pity screw at least?Ó

 

ÒThe man is my boss.Ó

 

ÒSo was Korby, but that didnÕt stop you.Ó

 

ÒYes, but he was my boss who was an older-man boss.Ó  Chapel knew she was grinning way too much, but happy sex did that to her.  ÒI really like him.  HeÕs...different than your Spock.Ó

 

ÒDoes that mean you donÕt like my Spock?Ó

 

ÒNo.  I mean...heÕs just looser.  Like heÕs at peace in a way with who he is, where heÕs been.  Everything heÕs been through has left marks and probably scars inside too, but heÕs still reaching out.Ó

 

Nyota looked away.

 

ÒHeÕs still shutting you out a little bit?Ó

 

ÒYeah.  ItÕs better, though.  Than it was right after.  He just needs time.Ó

 

ÒBut youÕre having sex?Ó

 

ÒIs that all you think about.Ó  Ny gave her a soft smile.  ÒYes, weÕre having sex.Ó  She let go of ChapelÕs arm.  ÒI have to get back up to the bridge.  IÕm glad you had a good time.Ó

 

ÒIÕm glad you were okay with it.Ó

 

ÒYou didnÕt have to ask me first.Ó

 

ÒYes, I did.  It was sort of strange.  I mean, theyÕre the same guy, kind of.Ó

 

ÒNo, theyÕre not.Ó  Nyota grinned.  ÒI just want you to be happy.Ó  Her grin faded before Chapel thought she meant it to.  She turned and walked to the lift.

 

As the doors closed, Chapel murmured, ÒAt least one of us is right now.Ó  She sighed and caught the next lift to sickbay.

 

##

 

Uhura watched Spock as their shift progressed.  He put on a good show of no longer being emotionally compromised, but he still was.

 

At least with her.

 

SheÕd lied to Christine.  They werenÕt sleeping together right now.  HeÕd pulled away from her, and sheÕd let him.  Too afraid that if she pushed, sheÕd lose him for good.  That had to stop.

 

Shift change came and he made no move to leave.  She ceded her board to her replacement, moved over to his station.  ÒSir, I need your assistance.Ó

 

ÒAssistance of what nature?Ó

 

ÒItÕs personal.  And important.Ó  She let her voice trail off.  Even let a little shake come into it.  It wasnÕt fair, really. 

 

He seemed unsure.

 

She blinked hard, as if she was going to cry, then realized she was about to cry and blinked again.

 

He called for his replacement.  ÒI will need you sooner than I thought.Ó  Then he looked up at her.  ÒWe will go soon.Ó

 

She nodded, tried not to look like a fool just hanging around his station.  How did Leonard manage to loiter so effortlessly?

 

Finally the replacement showed up, and Spock rose and walked with her to the lift.  He glanced at her repeatedly, finally asked, ÒYour quarters or mine?Ó

 

ÒYours.Ó  She wanted to be able to leave if this went badly.  She didnÕt want him leaving her again.

 

He nodded, led them off the lift to his quarters and palmed the door open, standing aside for her to enter.  She noticed he didnÕt look to see if anyone was watching.  Was that a good sign that he no longer cared who saw them?  Or a bad sign that he was still so consumed by his own sadness that he wasnÕt thinking to do it?

 

She pointed to the bed.  ÒSit.Ó

 

He sat.  Without arguing.  Good.  Progress.

 

ÒThis distance between us.  ItÕs not good.Ó

 

He looked down.

 

ÒDonÕt do that.  YouÕre just making it worse when you wonÕt even look at me.Ó

 

He took a deep breath and raised his head.  ÒYou saw a side of me I never wanted you to see.Ó

 

She froze.  That was not what sheÕd expected to hear.  ÒYou mean when you beat the holy crap out of Jim?Ó

 

ÒYes.Ó

 

ÒHe goaded you.  He intended you to do that.Ó

 

ÒNevertheless.  It was an unforgivable break.Ó

 

ÒUnforgivable for whom?Ó  She sat next to him on the bed.  ÒYou havenÕt wanted to be with me.  Not to talk.  Not to touch.  Why?Ó

 

ÒIÕm not the man you thought I was.Ó

 

ÒYes, you are.  You reacted the way you did because you were in pain.  If you hadnÕt been in pain at that moment, then you wouldnÕt have been the man I thought you were.Ó  She touched his face, saw him close his eyes the way he did when he was enjoying her touch.  ÒYou wouldnÕt have been the man I love.  The man I know feels things.  Even when he doesnÕt always want to.Ó

 

He was silent for a long time, then he said, ÒI have missed you.  I have wanted to reach out.Ó

 

ÒIÕm right here.  IÕm not going anywhere unless you tell me to.Ó

 

He turned to her, his eyes finally lightening a little.  ÒI find it highly unlikely that you would go even then.Ó

 

She laughed.  ÒNo, youÕre right.  I probably wouldnÕt.Ó

 

He pulled her to him, kissed her and his lips were tentative on hers at first, but then he seemed to let go.  She wrapped her arms around him, closed her eyes and tried not to cry as he pulled her back onto the bed.

 

He was touching her.  He was letting her in.

 

She wasnÕt losing him.

 

ÒI love you,Ó she murmured as she opened her eyes and undid his uniform.

 

ÒAs I love you,Ó he said as he watched her, his expression finally not so cold, finally closer to being at peace.

 

##

 

Spock woke with Nyota curled against him.  He watched her sleep, felt as if a part of himself had been returned.  He had not known how to bridge the gap he had let grow between them—fortunately, she had not been afraid to simply tackle the issue directly.

 

But then she never was.

 

His chrono sounded and he turned it off, felt her stir against him.  ÒGood morning,Ó he said, knowing she would need him to make a sign that they were still all right, that last night had not been an aberration. 

 

She smiled.  ÒGood morning.Ó  She glanced at the chrono and frowned.  ÒI promised Christine I would go to the gym with her this morning.  A new yoga class she wants to try.Ó  She kissed him.  ÒI hate to run.Ó

 

ÒI will see you on the bridge.  And later, hopefully...?Ó 

 

She smiled and leaned in for a longer kiss.  ÒCount on it.Ó

 

She slipped out of bed gracefully—her grace had been one of the things that had captivated him about her—and pulled on her uniform.  With a last grin, she hurried out.

 

He got out of bed, took a shower and put on a fresh uniform, then headed for the mess.  He was hungrier than he had been, filled his plate and looked for a table.  Jim was sitting alone and waved him over with a very knowing smile on his face.

 

ÒHungry, Spock?Ó

 

ÒI missed dinner.Ó

 

ÒYou missed our chess game, too.  The fair Nyota was not in evidence last night, either.  I hope I was blown off for a very good reason.Ó  He waggled his eyebrows.

 

Spock knew he was blushing.  ÒI forgot about chess.Ó

 

ÒYou never forget about anything.  Unless you had a very good reason to be distracted.Ó  JimÕs grin faded and he leaned in.  ÒI know things havenÕt been easy for you.  So, you be distracted all you want, okay?Ó

 

Spock felt unaccountably touched.  ÒThank you.Ó

 

ÒNo problem.Ó  Jim played with his eggs for a moment, then said, ÒDo you think I should be captain?Ó

 

ÒYou are captain.  The question is moot.Ó

 

ÒBut do you think I should be?Ó  He met SpockÕs eyes.  ÒI want a real answer.Ó

 

ÒI am your first officer.  Would I sign up for that responsibility if I thought you were not fit?Ó

 

ÒMaybe.  Since IÕm the commanding officer of your girlfriend.Ó

 

Spock had to concede the logic of that.  ÒIn that case it would be easier to try to sabotage you and make you look incompetent than to be your friend and answer questions such as these.Ó

 

ÒYou havenÕt done that.Ó  Jim frowned.  ÒYou havenÕt done that, right?Ó

 

ÒI have not.Ó

 

ÒWhew.Ó  Jim grinned and it was clear he hadnÕt thought Spock had.  ÒItÕs just...I go to these sector meetings and they treat me like the dumb kid who happened to have a really good day.Ó

 

ÒYou are not a kid, but you are much younger than they are.  You are not dumb.  I find your intelligence to be quite superior.  But you did have an extremely good day and StarfleetÕs reaction might be seen as kneejerk.Ó

 

Jim started to laugh.  ÒSo you donÕt think I should be captain.Ó

 

ÒI did not say that. I said others might view your rise as...Ó

 

ÒLudicrous?  IÕve heard that word bandied about.Ó

 

ÒStartling, was the word I was going to go for.Ó

 

ÒSlightly better.Ó  He started to eat for real.  A good sign, in SpockÕs experience.

 

ÒWhy do you care, Jim?  You are captain.  Be the captain.  Be the best captain you can be.  If you obsess over what they think, it may prevent you from developing into the best version of yourself.  So, do not obsess.Ó

 

ÒWow, look at you with all this insight.Ó  He shot Spock another of the grins that he was rapidly becoming very fond of.

 

ÒIt is only the truth.Ó

 

ÒAnd youÕre not afraid to tell me that.  I really like that.  And I know I need it.  So donÕt stop.  No matter how much it ticks me off.Ó 

 

ÒI will continue to annoy you.  It is what I signed up for, is it not?Ó

 

ÒDamned straight.Ó  Jim laughed, but the laugh seemed for himself.  ÒWhat a ride,Ó he said softly.

 

##

 

Kirk went down to Engineering before heading back to Command for the next sector meeting.  He found Scotty tinkering with some obscure piece of circuitry.

 

ÒGood morning, sir.  I bet youÕre wondering what IÕm up to.Ó

 

ÒThe thought crossed my mind.Ó

 

ÒIÕve been doing some load and efficiency studies in my off hours.Ó

 

ÒOf course you have.Ó  Kirk grinned at him.  HeÕd never seen Scotty doing but one of three things in his off hours.  Working, playing backgammon, or drinking.  Man had simple needs.

 

ÒWell, this little circuit gets a lot of juice routed through it.  It seizes up because it was never intended to handle that kind of load.  Bad planning.  IÕm...enhancing it you might say.Ó

 

ÒAnother of your unauthorized improvements?Ó  All of which Kirk had appreciated over the last month.  The ship ran much better now than it did when he got it.

 

ÒThatÕs putting it so bluntly, sir.Ó  He winked at Kirk.  ÒBut yes.Ó

 

ÒWhatever works, Mister Scott.Ó  Kirk looked around Engineering.  ÒI love coming down here.  ItÕs always so...Ó

 

ÒPeaceful.Ó

 

ÒYeah.Ó

 

ÒWell, youÕre welcome here anytime.  You got me off that damn ice planet.  I owe you everything.Ó

 

ÒNo, I owe you.  You beamed me aboard this ship.Ó

 

ÒWell, that was really the older version of our first officer.Ó

 

Kirk smiled.  ÒBut from a formula that you came up with.Ó

 

ÒAh, youÕve got me there.Ó  Scotty shook his head.  ÒInteresting man, that older Spock.  Was a little surprised to see him palling around with our Christine.Ó

 

Kirk frowned.  ÒWhat?Ó

 

ÒOh, aye.  Saw them the other day, headed for guest quarters.  IÕm not usually an old gossip like this, but I know LeonardÕs got his heart set on her, and I thought you might want to let him down easily.Ó

 

Kirk smiled and shook his head.  He had a feeling that Scotty knew damn good and well that Bones wasnÕt the only one who had an interest in Christine.  ÒIÕll give him the bad news gently.Ó  He shook his head.  ÒWhat does she see in him?Ó

 

ÒWell, some women like an older man,Ó Scotty said with a wink. ÒItÕs our experience.Ó

 

ÒOh, is that what it is?  You sure itÕs not your amazing talent for bullshit?Ó

 

Scotty laughed.  ÒPossibly that, too.  If I ever find myself a woman, IÕll let you know.Ó

 

Kirk grinned and took a deep breath, trying to draw in all the things he loved about engineering.  ÒThis was just what I needed before I head into the belly of the beast for another grimly boring staff meeting.  Thank you, Mister Scott.  I am again in your debt.Ó

 

ÒI live to serve, Jim.Ó

 

With a last fond grin, Kirk headed for the lift, and the endless morning that awaited him.

 

##

 

Scott found his way to the rec lounge, saw Chekov waiting for him at their usual table.  ÒHello, young Pavel

 

ÒHello, old Montgomery.Ó  Pavel had the backgammon board set up.  ÒI have been studying.Ó

 

ÒWhatÕs to study?  IÕm going to crush you like I always do.  The luck of the Scottish.Ó

 

ÒI believe the saying is the luck of the Irish, who imported that luck from a little old lady in Vladivostok.Ó

 

Scott smiled.  The kid gave as good as he got.  ÒSo what have you been studying besides how to move your checkers?Ó

 

ÒPhysics.  Warp engineering—I have some ideas I want to discuss with you about possible dilithium alternatives.Ó

 

ÒSounds promising.Ó

 

ÒAnd ummm...Ó  Pavel took a long swig of his beer.

 

Scott sipped his scotch and waited.

 

ÒThereÕs a girl I want to ask out.  And I need your advice.Ó

 

ÒWhy my advice?Ó

 

Well, itÕs Gaila.  I know she works for you and you know her and what she likes—I mean in the way of presents or approaches.Ó

 

ÒTry asking her out.  You know, just ask.Ó  He gave the boy a glare.  ÒI think thatÕll do it.  Be straightforward.Ó

 

ÒWell, but I really like her.Ó

 

ÒEverybody really likes her, lad.  Everybody throws things at her like they have to buy her.  Like she doesnÕt have a perfectly good brain that can decide whether or not she thinks youÕre worthy.  Ask her.  And if you really want to warm her up before you do, talk to her about your dilithium alternatives.  SheÕs got some ideas about that, too.Ó

 

ÒReally?Ó

 

ÒAye.  The lass is brilliant.  Now roll for first move before I look for a new game to play.Ó

 

Pavel smiled.  ÒBrilliant, huh?Ó

 

ÒYeah, just like you.  YouÕll be two peas in a pod.  DonÕt make me sick with any lovey dovey stuff in Engineering, you ken?Ó

 

ÒLoud and clear, old man.Ó  Pavel handed him one of the dice.  ÒRoll.Ó

 

Scott rolled a six.  Pavel rolled a one.

 

ÒOh aye,Ó Scott said, moving his pieces to block the bar.  ÒHere we go, laddie.  Luck be a lady.Ó

 

ÒEnjoy her.  LuckÕs the only lady youÕll be seeing any time soon.Ó 

 

Scott smiled.  The kid was a pistol.

 

##

 

Chekov waited until he was sure Scotty was on his lunch break, then he went into Engineering.  He saw Gaila in the back and walked over to her, trying not to forget how to put one foot in front of the other.

 

She turned and smiled at him.  ÒHi, Pav

 

ÒHello.Ó  Not enough.  He needed to say more.  ÒHow are you today?Ó  No, too formal.

 

ÒIÕm good.  You?Ó 

 

ÒI am also good.Ó  No, this was not going well at all.  ÒI was playing backgammon with Mister Scott and was telling him of some ideas I had about alternatives to dilithium.Ó

 

She put her tools down and said, ÒItÕs lunch.  LetÕs talk about this in the mess hall, okay?  IÕm starving.Ó

 

ÒAll right.Ó

 

ÒBut it has to be quick.  So the auxiliary mess down here.Ó

 

He tried not to let any disappointment show; he had really wanted to be seen walking into the main mess with her.  ÒThatÕs fine.Ó

 

She led him to the mess, which was full of engineering types.  They got their food and sat down.  He forgot how to form words for a moment—she was that pretty—but then she launched into her ideas for alternatives and he felt his brain kick in.  They were soon arguing in a good-natured way over the merits and pitfalls of their various options.

 

ÒDo you want to collaborate on this, Pav?  I think we could get a paper out of our ideas.  Present it at the engineering seminar thatÕs coming up at the end of the year maybe?  What do you think?Ó

 

He managed not to blurt out that he would gladly collaborate on anything she wanted.  ÒI would love that.Ó

 

ÒGreat.Ó  She gave him the giddy grin that heÕd first been charmed by. 

 

ÒGaila, would you also be interested in seeing me socially?Ó


ÒThatÕs what weÕre doing now.Ó  The grin faded a bit.

 

ÒNo, I mean romantically.Ó  He knew he was blushing furiously.

 

ÒOh.  Wow.  Pav, I like you a lot.  You know that, right?Ó

 

He tried to nod but he could already hear the but.

 

ÒBut IÕm seeing someone and itÕs exclusive.Ó  She smiled and he thought she was trying to make it a sad smile, but all he could see was that whoever the person was, they made her happy.

 

ÒOh.  ThatÕs wonderful.  For you, I mean.  Not so much for me.Ó

 

ÒIÕm sorry.  There are lots of lovely women on board.  IÕm sure youÕll find someone else in no time.Ó

 

ÒThey wonÕt be you.  But I will be fine.  And we will still collaborate?  I have not created discomfort for you?Ó

 

ÒAre you kidding?  ThatÕs work.  Totally different.Ó  She smiled gently at him, and he loved her for it.  ÒThere is no one IÕd rather collaborate with on this.Ó

 

ÒYou are very kind.Ó

 

ÒNo, IÕm not.Ó  She patted his hand.  ÒWeÕre both brilliant.  WeÕll knock their socks off.  If they wear socks, I mean.Ó 


He laughed.  She was the only girl he knew who could make getting shot down this painless.

 

##

 

Gaila heard her chime go off and took a deep breath before saying, ÒCome.Ó

 

Hikaru smiled as he walked in.  He stopped when he took in her expression.  ÒWhatÕs wrong?Ó

 

ÒI may have made a big assumption.  I hope not.Ó

 

He walked over to her.  ÒYou actually look nervous. You never look nervous.Ó  He put his arms around her and kissed her, and she felt herself relaxing.  He was the first man who made her feel this way: safe.  ÒSo what assumption did you make?Ó

 

He was moving her around the floor as if they were dancing, smiling at her in his easy way.  She laughed softly, kissed him for a while, enjoying the feeling of just being with him, the casual way he held her, no pressure ever, no expectations.  But whatever she wanted, he gave her.  If she held on tight, wanted it a little rougher, he was there for her. If she wanted it light and gentle, he was fine with that, too.  He never seemed to judge her.

 

And he always seemed to see her.  Her, Gaila, not just the sexy Orion girl. 

 

HeÕd snuck up on her, first the guy with the sweet smile who liked to play with swords.  Then Sulu who sat with her at breakfast since they were both early risers.  Then Hikaru who taught her Tai Chi to help her focus better.  Then her lover, just like all the others, sheÕd thought—only when sheÕd normally have said that she loved him, she hadnÕt.  She couldnÕt.  That was the thing you said to customers.  To men who didnÕt mean much to you. 

 

And Hikaru meant a lot to her.

 

She hadnÕt said it, just enjoyed what he made her feel.  And then enjoyed it even more the next time they got together.  And the next time.  Until it became second nature to not even think of other partners, to only think of him.

 

Monogamy was a strange state for an Orion, yet with him, it felt relaxed.  He was so fluid.  So forgiving that she never wanted to do anything heÕd have to forgive her for.

 

She stopped their little dance.  ÒPavel asked me out today.Ó

 

Hikaru started to laugh softly.  ÒDid not see that coming.Ó

 

ÒMe, either.  I thought we were just friends.Ó

 

ÒWell, he has been smitten with you for a while now.  I just never thought heÕd work up the nerve.Ó

 

ÒI told him no.  But...Ó  She looked down, didnÕt want to see his face. 

 

He tipped her chin back up so she had to look at him. ÒBut...?Ó

 

ÒBut I told him I was seeing someone.  And it was exclusive.Ó

 

His grin was huge.  ÒYou did?Ó

 

She found herself grinning just as big.  ÒIs that all right?Ó

 

ÒAll right?  ThatÕs tremendous.Ó  He picked her up and spun her around.  ÒI love you, you idiot.Ó

 

ÒYou do?Ó

 

ÒYes.  I just wasnÕt sure if you wanted to be that serious with me.Ó

 

She kissed him once he put her down.  ÒWell, I do.  I love you, too.Ó

 

ÒDoes this mean we can go public now?  Please, IÕm sick of sneaking around.  It was fun at first, but thereÕs no reason for it now, is there?Ó

 

She shook her head.  ÒNo, thereÕs no reason for it now.Ó

 

He grabbed her hand.  ÒCome on.  WeÕre going to the rec lounge.Ó  His smile was luminous.  ÒThis is the best day ever.Ó

 

She pulled him back to her and kissed him.  It wasnÕt her best day ever.  That would be the day she escaped slavery.  The next was the day she got into Starfleet.  And then the day she got assigned to the Enterprise.  But this was easily the fourth best day ever.

 

##

 

Sulu whistled his way into sickbay. 

 

Christine smiled at him.  ÒSomebodyÕs happy.Ó  He knew she had seen Gaila and him in the lounge last night.  ÒCongratulations.  You two make a nice couple.Ó

 

ÒThanks.Ó

 

McCoy came out of his office.  ÒYes, they do look nice together.  ThatÕs what happens when people of similar ages get together.Ó

 

Christine rolled her eyes and handed him the scanner.  She smiled grimly at Sulu.  ÒDoctor Surly will be conducting your physical today.Ó

 

He tried not to laugh.  As soon as Christine was out of earshot, he said, ÒYou need a friendly ear, Doc?Ó

 

ÒI most certainly do not.  Lie down.Ó

 

Sulu did as he was told, tried to wipe the happy smile off his face but just could not.

 

ÒAh, ignore me, Hikaru.  IÕm happy for you.  IÕm just having some trouble figuring out ChristineÕs tastes right now.  Probably for the best.  Chain of command and all that.Ó

 

Sulu nearly smiled.  This is how it always worked.  People would say they didnÕt need a friendly ear, but then they invariably poured out their problems to him.  ÒChain of command doesnÕt have to be a problem.Ó  He left out the Òon this shipÓ part, since he figured McCoy could follow the logic train to first officer and communications officer.

 

McCoy grinned.  ÒI like you.Ó

 

ÒI havenÕt seen Christine with anyone.Ó  Was she with Scotty?  He was older, but not that much older than McCoy.

 

ÒNot someone on board this ship.Ó  McCoy quit talking, stayed busy running scans and checking the biobed readings.  Then he murmured, ÒItÕs the other Spock.Ó

 

ÒThe old guy?Ó

 

ÒThatÕs what IÕm saying.  HeÕs not just older, heÕs old

 

Sulu had to agree.  ÒOkay, IÕd say she has a certain type.Ó

 

ÒCorpse, you mean?Ó

 

Sulu laughed.  ÒExperienced.Ó

 

ÒNearly expired.Ó  McCoy shook his head.  ÒIÕve seen him watching her.  IÕd give you even odds that he was with her in his reality.Ó

 

ÒThat would be strange for both of them.Ó

 

ÒNot strange enough to keep her away.Ó  McCoyÕs pout rivaled a teenage girlÕs.  ÒI should not be telling you this.Ó

 

ÒDoctor-patient confidentiality.  DonÕt worry.Ó  Sulu smiled at him.  ÒIÕve had my share of heartache.  Do you really care for her?Ó

 

ÒI donÕt know.  She...knows how to take my bad attitude.  Puts up with me but gives me sass right back.  I guess I find that pretty irresistible.Ó

 

ÒI can see that.  Just enjoy that part of it, I guess.  Who can understand how love works?Ó

 

ÒTruer words.Ó  McCoy harrumphed in a way Sulu had only ever seen on vids.  Then he patted him on the shoulder.  ÒOkay, youÕre good to go.  Whatever youÕre doing, keep it up.  I wish all my patients had readings this good.Ó

 

Sulu smiled and swung his legs off the table.  He decided not to say that love probably had a lot to do with his rosy good health. 

 

##

 

McCoy walked the corridors of Starfleet command trying to forget the smile heÕd seen on ChristineÕs face as sheÕd met up with the other Spock.  He had to get a handle on this raging jealousy; he was starting to take it out on their Spock, which wasnÕt fair at all.

 

He turned into the corridor heÕd been told, looked for the office, saw PikeÕs name on the door and buzzed for entrance.  The door opened and he saw the welcoming grin of the man heÕd grown very fond of while heÕd had him under his care in sickbay.  ÒAdmiral.Ó


ÒDoctor.Ó  Pike pushed out his chair and McCoy realized it wasnÕt the wheelchair.  ÒIÕve been a physical therapy dynamo.Ó

 

ÒLet me see.Ó

 

Pike got up with a smile; his steps were tentative, but he made it across the room under his own steam.  ÒI have the wheelchair in the closet.  I canÕt go far yet, but IÕll get there.Ó

 

ÒIÕm proud of you, sir.Ó

 

ÒWell, you stabilized me.  I owe any of this progress to you.Ó  He walked back to his desk, leaned on it. 

 

ÒYou werenÕt even going to PT when we last talked.  You seemed really down.  What changed?Ó

 

Pike smiled.  ÒFriend of mine got back into town.  DidnÕt like my attitude.  Has a certain way about her.Ó

 

ÒEveryone is getting laid but me, I swear to God.Ó

 

Pike shrugged.  ÒYou either have it or you donÕt.Ó  He walked back around to his chair.  ÒSo, you really come all this way just to check on me?Ó

 

ÒI did.Ó

 

ÒI donÕt believe you.Ó  Pike narrowed his eyes.  ÒI mean itÕs nice and all to see you.  But you could have commed

 

McCoy tried to think of a good lie but finally just settled for asking what he really wanted to know.  ÒWhatÕs going to happen to the other Spock?Ó

 

Pike started to laugh.  ÒAh, those Chapel women.Ó

 

McCoy tried to keep his face composed. 

 

ÒDonÕt even bother.  IÕve seen them together.  How bad do you have it?Ó

 

ÒYou said women.Ó

 

ÒUh, that was not my question.Ó

 

McCoy smiled.  He had him on the ropes.  ÒYour gal.  SheÕs a Chapel?Ó  He tried to remember what Christine had said about her sister.  ÒOhhh, that woman is your motivator?  Wow.Ó

 

Pike shrugged again.  ÒLike I said.  Those Chapel women.Ó

 

ÒYouÕre not answering my question about Spock.Ó

 

ÒThatÕs because itÕs none of your damn business.Ó

 

ÒI knew it.  YouÕre keeping him on as a consultant.Ó  He got up and began to pace.  ÒI bet heÕll be joyriding around the galaxy, hopping rides on any convenient ship.  What do you want to bet itÕs the Enterprise thatÕs convenient?Ó

 

ÒOkay, youÕve got it bad.  May I make a suggestion?Ó

 

McCoy nodded.

 

ÒDial it back or youÕre going to have some real unpleasantness on your hands.  SheÕll tire of him or she wonÕt.  If she does, youÕll have your shot.  If she doesnÕt, then she was never meant to be yours.  In the meantime, move on.Ó

 

ÒThatÕs easier said than done.Ó

 

ÒI hate to say this, because I think highly of you, but ChristineÕs like a little sister to me, so IÕll be checking in on her from time to time.  If you get my drift?Ó  PikeÕs eyes went very hard.  ÒThat can be your motivator to get better.Ó

 

McCoy didnÕt look away, then he nodded.  ÒThank you.  ThatÕs probably a good idea.Ó

 

ÒWhat are friends for?Ó  He held out his hand.  ÒWe are still friends, right, Leonard?Ó

 

McCoy reached over the desk, clasped PikeÕs hand firmly.  ÒNow more than ever, Chris.Ó

 

##

 

Pike sat at his desk, thinking about Leonard.  There had been a time when he had been just as obsessed with Gwen and who she was seeing.  He knew the danger signs, figured it was a nice irony to be his doctorÕs sanity check, since it was his own CMO Boyce whoÕd called him out for his behavior. 

 

Maybe someday Leonard would get his chance, although he wasnÕt sure.  The way Christine looked at the older Spock was intense.  And sheÕd always liked much older men.  He wasnÕt sure Leonard stood a chance—hell, even he was probably too young for her.  Who could understand women?

 

There was a soft sound at his door and he smiled.  Gwen was here; heÕd given her a special tone on the annunciator.  He pressed the button on his desk and the doors slide open.

 

ÒHello, Number One.  To what do I owe this visit?Ó

 

ÒI just missed you, Admiral.Ó  She smiled at him, the open and easy way she only used with him.

 

He was struck by how beautiful she still was.  All these years and she was the only woman he could see.  The only one he wanted.  ÒWell, that is a fortunate coincidence because I missed you, too.Ó  He held out his hand and she came and perched in front of him on his desk, then leaned down and gave him a lingering kiss.

 

When she finally pulled away, he said, ÒI will never get tired of that.Ó

 

ÒMe, either.Ó  She sat up straight, took a deep breath.  ÒI have news.Ó

 

ÒYou do?Ó

 

She nodded.  ÒIÕm transferring off the Meridian

 

ÒTo a better ship?Ó

 

She shook her head.

 

ÒTo a starbase

 

She laughed. 

 

He could feel his heart beating faster.  Her leave was almost up.  HeÕd been counting the days till she left, could feel his mood shifting down as that moment approached.  ÒTo...here?Ó

 

She nodded.  ÒDifferent area of Fleet.  You wonÕt be in my chain of command.Ó

 

ÒVery nice.Ó

 

ÒI didnÕt ask you if you even wanted this.  I should have.Ó

 

He laughed and pulled her down to him, covering her with silly, joyful kisses.  ÒYou donÕt ever have to ask me something like that.  WeÕre going to be together?  Really together?Ó


She nodded.  ÒI just...I couldnÕt go back.  I couldnÕt leave you again.Ó

 

ÒGood.  Because I donÕt think I could have stood it if you had.Ó

 

She smiled, and he realized her eyes were suspiciously bright.  She never cried.  Never.

 

ÒYouÕre cry—Ó

 

ÒAm not.Ó  She dashed at her eyes.

 

ÒYes, you are.  And I love you for it.Ó

 

ÒI love you.  I have loved you for the longest time.  And I will love you forever.Ó

 

He drank her in, played those words over and over.  He loved those words.  They were true. And sheÕd be here.  He didnÕt have to say goodbye again.  ÒI will love you forever too, Gwen.Ó  He laughed.  ÒLetÕs go out for lunch.  Chair be damned.  WeÕll go somewhere nice.  Really nice.Ó  And the restaurant would accommodate him, or Gwen would kill someone. 

 

ÒIÕd rather get Greek.  You remember, the first place we ever had dinner as more than just colleagues?Ó

 

ÒEven better.Ó  Mykonos had outside seating.  Easy to fit the chair in that.  And eventually, with her here, he knew he wouldnÕt need the chair.

 

With her here, he could do anything.

 

##

 

Number One came back from lunch with Chris sated and happy.  HeÕd been so relaxed, so cheerful.  SheÕd done the right thing.  And for once, the right thing was also the thing that made them both the happiest.

 

She rounded a corner, saw her sister with an older man—that was nothing new.  But an older Vulcan man, now that was unusual.

 

Christine saw her, waved, and said something to the man, who turned and stared at Number One like he was seeing a ghost.

 

She realized she knew his face.  It was older, so much older, but it was SpockÕs face.  SheÕd heard he was here; sheÕd just never imagined sheÕd find him with her sister.

 

She walked over to them.  ÒChristine.  And you are Spock, arenÕt you?Ó

 

He was still staring at her in the most intense way.  ÒI am.  It is good to see you again, Number One.Ó

 

ÒYou knew me, in your reality?Ó

 

ÒI did.  You were a mentor to me.Ó

 

Christine smiled.  ÒSame as here, right, Gwen?Ó

 

ÒThat is your name?  You never told me.Ó  He seemed so surprised. 

 

She did, too.  ÒIÕve told our Spock.Ó

 

ÒOne of the many differences.Ó  He turned to Christine, graced her with a look Number One could only classify as tender.

 

ÒYou are together?Ó

 

She nodded, had the expression that dared Number One to make something of it. 

 

ÒOkay.  Hmmm.Ó

 

ÒYou do not approve?Ó Spock asked, and he sounded as if he cared about the answer.

 

ÒIÕm unsure.Ó  She studied him, then her sister.  ÒWere you with Christine in your reality?Ó

 

ÒGwen, thatÕs none of your business.Ó

 

That pretty much answered her question, but she said, ÒI think it is.  If Spock here is just trying to recapture what heÕs lost, IÕm not sure thatÕs fair to you.Ó

 

Spock smiled.  ÒAnother difference.  In my reality, you and Christine were estranged.  She longed for a closer relationship with you.  If you had ever shown this much interest in who she was seeing, it would have made her very happy.Ó

 

Number One was not sure if that was an argument for or against her case.  She saw Christine smiling in a way that said this was why she liked older men: they could get one over on her big sis.  Number One settled for saying, ÒIÕll be watching you,Ó and tried to load a lot of threat into her voice.

 

Spock bowed his head.  ÒI would expect no less.Ó  He stared at her again.  ÒIt is extremely good to see you.Ó

 

Christine gave her a hug.  ÒBuzzkill  Then she kissed her on the cheek with a little giggle and went off with Spock.

 

Number One watched her.  Her sister had an ease with the way she walked next to Spock, the way they talked as if there was no one else in the room.  They navigated the space like one unit. 

 

Christine had never had that with Roger.  Number One had despised Roger.  SheÕd been so happy when Christine had dumped him.  Maybe...maybe this was who she was supposed to be with?

 

She decided to not worry about it for now.  She had meetings all afternoon, and then she and Chris were going to start looking for a place.  Someplace that would be theirs, not his or hers.

 

Theirs.  It had a nice ring to it.

 

She saw Kirk and McCoy heading back up to the ship that should have been ChrisÕs.  She used to resent Kirk for taking it away.  Now, now she decided to be more sanguine about it.  The kid had a hard row ahead of him.  And she had Chris on Earth with her. 

 

She thought maybe she and Chris got the better deal.  Even if theyÕd already agreed that the one thing their place had to have was a roof deck, so they could always see the stars at night.

 

Some things you donÕt just leave behind.

 

FIN