DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and
Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are
copyright (c) 2012 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
Vignettes After a Voyage Nearly Undone
by Djinn
Spock
watched his younger self hurry off and wondered what
the future would bring for the man.
For himself. Pronouns were going to be problematic.
He turned
and saw Christine talking to Doctor McCoy, and his breath caught. She seemed to feel his eyes on her,
looked up and smiled in a strange way.
Spock
turned away, hurrying off to the quarters Starfleet had assigned him.
ÒSir? Sir, wait.Ó
He slowed
but did not turn. Her voice—that
voice, so young, so innocent still.
ÒI'm not
sure what to call youÓ—she grabbed him, her hand strong; he'd forgotten
how strong she was—Óand I'm not trying to make a scene.Ó
He turned,
drank in her face, the blue eyes, the lips that bore his kisses—only not
now, not yet, and judging by his younger self's affection for Nyota, not ever.
ÒYou're
Spock, aren't you?Ó
He pulled
back, yanking his sleeve from her grasp.
ÒI'm afraid you have me confused with someone else.Ó
ÒI have
eyes. You look just like him, sir,
only older.Ó
Sir. It sounded so strange coming from this
woman who had been his lover for so long.
ÒThis is
not a matter to discuss here.Ó
ÒThen
where?Ó
ÒI think
nowhere.Ó
She
smiled, that lovely sensual smile he remembered but never on a face this
young. ÒI think you donÕt mean
that.Ó
ÒAnd what
logic leads you to that conclusion?Ó
ÒYou stare
at me. All the
time. I noticed it when I
first saw you, and then I started to hang around just to see if I was imagining
it. I wasnÕt.Ó She moved closer. ÒI was with you, in your reality, wasnÕt
I? Not Nyota.Ó
ÒEverything
is different here.Ó
ÒWhich
means yes, or youÕd have just said no.Ó
She laughed at his expression.
ÒOh, donÕt worry. I donÕt
have dastardly plans for your doppelganger. I donÕt even like him much. IÕm just...curious.Ó
ÒYes. You were always that way.Ó
ÒYou loved
me—her?Ó
ÒI did.Ó
ÒHow long
has she been dead?Ó
ÒAt least
a lifetime.Ó He knew it was a
self-indulgently imprecise answer, but she smiled and took his arm.
He did not
shake free, even though he knew he should.
ÒAll your
parts in working order, sir?Ó She
shot him the grin he had loved, the one his Christine had always given him just
before seducing him.
ÒThey
are. I...think. It has been quite a while.Ó
ÒYeah, for
me, too. FiancŽ went missing,
showed up last year running a business making pleasure androids. He was a famous scientist and now heÕs a
rich businessman with no time for me.Ó
She glanced at him. ÒIs that
how it ended in your reality?Ó
ÒNo. Doctor Korby died. Shot by one of his pleasure androids.Ó
ÒI like
your version better.Ó She grinned
again. ÒSo you do want to have sex
with me, right?Ó
ÒI
do. Very much. But I must point out that I do not know
you. I may simply be trying to
recapture what I have lost.Ó
ÒWell,
points for honesty, Spock.Ó She
smiled. ÒLook, you intrigue
me. Which is more than I can say
for most of the guys around. So
take me to bed, mister.Ó
He felt
off balance. Should he do
this? Was this right?
She moved
closer, rubbing the top of his hand gently with her fingers. ÒAre you really having to think this
hard about it? I look just like her,
only better, I imagine? What with the youth and dewy beauty.Ó She laughed softy, as if at herself. She did not let up on the attack on his
hand, which had suddenly become an erogenous zone of immense proportions.
ÒVery well.Ó
ÒYour
enthusiasm is overwhelming. You do
remember how to do it, right?Ó Her
soft laughter was just as he remembered it. The good-natured
mocking, the sweetness underneath.
He gave
her his best Vulcan look of disapproval.
She only
smiled wider. ÒOoh, finally got a
rise out of you.Ó
ÒYou have
been getting a rise out of me for some time.Ó
ÒAnd witty
repartee comes with the package, too?
IÕve never seen that with our Spock.Ó
ÒYou are
not rubbing his hand in the same way, I imagine?Ó
ÒWell,
no. Is that the secret?Ó She grinned and ceased her attack on
him.
He stopped
in front of his door. ÒThis is not
a good idea, Christine.Ó
ÒOf course
not. Nothing fun ever is. Now open the damn door, Spock.Ó
He studied
her, looking for any sign of hesitation.
He knew his version of her well enough to believe he would see the same
signs in this Christine. But all he
saw was amusement and impatience.
So he opened
the damned door, as sheÕd ordered.
Once they
were inside, she did not resume her attack on him, but went instead to his
window and looked out on the Academy grounds. ÒPretty view.Ó
He
smiled. A real
smile. His Christine had
done that often. Given him access
to her neck, loved to be held from behind, his arms around her, his lips on her
as they looked out at whatever view they had to enjoy, even if it was the wall
of a neighboring building.
He walked
over to her, put his hands on her shoulders and heard her sigh, then relax under his gentle grip. She eased her head to the side, and he
kissed her neck the way heÕd learned she liked long ago.
She still
liked it that way. Still—the wrong word and yet not.
He let his
hands slip around her, pulling her back to him, cradling her under her
breasts. She sighed happily, put
her hands over his. Then she turned
enough so he could kiss her on the lips.
It was
like coming home. He felt as if his
body was waking from a decadesÕ long sleep. This was his mate,
it seemed to say.
She smelled the same, she felt the same, she
kissed the same.
At some
basic level, she was the same.
She turned
so she was fully against him and wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him
more deeply now that it was not so awkward a position. They kissed for a long time, until he
eased away and began to undress her, no longer able to distinguish between his
Christine and this Christine. She
was Christine. He wanted her.
She
slipped his robe off, then his undergarments. And they were naked.
He took a
breath. Waited. He was an old man and he knew it. There was no logic in trying to hide his
age. Although one
part of him was standing at attention in a way that belied his years.
And she
smiled when her eyes traveled down.
ÒYou like me.Ó
ÒVery
much.Ó
She pushed
him back, then onto the bed, and crawled on top of him, kissing everywhere,
over age spots and lines and scars.
ÒYou like
older men?Ó
ÒUsually. And older men seem to think these things
are bad, these tokens of life lived.Ó
She smiled at him, then stroked her smooth
skin. ÒDid I have them when you
knew me? Battle scars?Ó
ÒMany.Ó
ÒWas I
beautiful to you anyway?Ó
ÒYou were.Ó
She kissed
him more tenderly than before. Then
she moved so she was on him. ÒReady?Ó
He nodded,
breathed out slowly as she settled onto him. And then she was with him. This lovely girl. His Christine and not his Christine. He could love her with so little effort.
She rode
him like she had done it for years, not as if this was their first time
together. She took her pleasure
easily before she let him find the rhythm that would send him to
completion. He enjoyed her gentle
tyranny.
He returned
the favor when he had rested sufficiently, when he had her underneath his
mouth, when he could take her to the edge and then stop, ease off, take her
back, until she begged and cursed and finally just said, ÒSpock, please?Ó
And he let
her finish. She was loud, clutching
the sheets and writhing, and he was inside her before she had come all the way
down.
She smiled
as he moved. ÒAll parts are
definitely in working order.Ó
ÒIndeed.Ó Then he gave up talk, just moved inside
her, found his way back to a place he thought he had lost forever.
As he
rolled off her, he reached for her hand, realized he needed the connection with
her. She squeezed his gently.
ÒThis was
a gift.Ó He closed his eyes.
She
nestled against him. ÒDo you want
it to be a one-time gift or the kind that you get periodically? And neither answer will make me mad.Ó
He turned
and studied her. She seemed very
relaxed, her mouth curled into a soft smile.
He touched
her lips with his fingers. So soft and firm.
ÒI would very much like this to continue. If that is agreeable to you?Ó
ÒI
wouldnÕt have asked if it wasnÕt.Ó
Her smile grew bigger. ÒAnd
thatÕs the answer I prefer.Ó She
touched his ear, laughing softly at his sharp intake of breath. ÒAm I just like her?Ó
ÒNo. You are yourself. But you are very similar in ways I find
comforting.Ó
ÒWell,
clearly you know what I like in bed.Ó
She ran her fingers over his ear again. ÒI need to play catch up.Ó
ÒYou were
always a quick study.Ó
ÒThat
hasnÕt changed.Ó She abandoned his
ears, slid her fingers down his cheek, then his neck, his chest, over his hips to
his groin. ÒSo, without offending
you, how much life is in my friend, here?
I like him, you see. IÕd
like him to come out and play some more, but if heÕs not interested right now
or anymore tonight, it would be good to know that.Ó
ÒThat is a
brave question.Ó
ÒAlso
efficient. Why waste energy and
create friction between us when I could just ask?Ó
He pulled
her to him and kissed her very hard—not because it was something his
Christine would have asked, but because it wasnÕt. ÒYour friend is not interested right now. But later, I am fairly certain he will
be.Ó
ÒYouÕll
let me know when he is?Ó
ÒI will.Ó He let his fingers travel down her body
the way sheÕd done to him. ÒI
imagine that you might have a more frequent need for release. Fortunately, there are
many ways to give you pleasure.Ó
ÒYes,Ó she
said as she arched her back and closed her eyes. ÒYes, there are.Ó
##
Chapel
knew she was sauntering as she walked down the corridor of the Enterprise toward Nyota,
but she couldnÕt help it.
Nyota hooked her arm in hers
as soon as Chapel reached her. ÒWell,
you little slut, how was he?Ó
ÒOh my
God. I am officially jealous of
you.Ó
ÒWell, you
donÕt know that you should be, really.
I mean your Spock was with you, wasnÕt he? You were right about that?Ó
ÒI was.Ó
ÒSo,
you—the other you—may have taught him everything you like. Whereas my Spock does what I like, which
may not be what you like.Ó
Chapel
started to laugh. ÒI know what you
like. We talk about what you like
all the time. ItÕs the same thing I
like.Ó
ÒWell, in
general terms. We both like
orgasms, sure. But thatÕs the
destination. The journey is the
where we might say vive la difference,
no?Ó
Chapel put
her head on NyÕs shoulder. ÒYou crack me up.Ó
ÒDitto. So are you going to see him again?Ó
ÒPretty
sure. You know how I like older
men.Ó
ÒYes, I
get to hear Leonard bitch about it to Spock and Jim all the time. Would you give the man a pity screw at
least?Ó
ÒThe man
is my boss.Ó
ÒSo was
Korby, but that didnÕt stop you.Ó
ÒYes, but he
was my boss who was an older-man boss.Ó
Chapel knew she was grinning way too much, but happy sex did that to
her. ÒI really like him. HeÕs...different than your Spock.Ó
ÒDoes that
mean you donÕt like my Spock?Ó
ÒNo. I mean...heÕs just looser. Like heÕs at peace in a way with who he
is, where heÕs been. Everything
heÕs been through has left marks and probably scars inside too, but heÕs still
reaching out.Ó
Nyota looked away.
ÒHeÕs
still shutting you out a little bit?Ó
ÒYeah. ItÕs better, though. Than it was right after. He just needs time.Ó
ÒBut
youÕre having sex?Ó
ÒIs that
all you think about.Ó Ny gave her a soft smile. ÒYes, weÕre having sex.Ó She let go of ChapelÕs arm. ÒI have to get back up to the
bridge. IÕm glad you had a good
time.Ó
ÒIÕm glad
you were okay with it.Ó
ÒYou
didnÕt have to ask me first.Ó
ÒYes, I
did. It was sort of strange. I mean, theyÕre the same guy, kind of.Ó
ÒNo,
theyÕre not.Ó Nyota
grinned. ÒI just want you to be
happy.Ó Her grin faded before Chapel
thought she meant it to. She turned
and walked to the lift.
As the
doors closed, Chapel murmured, ÒAt least one of us is right now.Ó She sighed and caught the next lift to
sickbay.
##
Uhura
watched Spock as their shift progressed.
He put on a good show of no longer being emotionally compromised, but he
still was.
At
least with her.
SheÕd lied
to Christine. They werenÕt sleeping
together right now. HeÕd pulled
away from her, and sheÕd let him.
Too afraid that if she pushed, sheÕd lose him for good. That had to stop.
Shift
change came and he made no move to leave.
She ceded her board to her replacement, moved over to his station. ÒSir, I need your assistance.Ó
ÒAssistance
of what nature?Ó
ÒItÕs
personal. And important.Ó She let her voice trail off. Even let a little shake come into
it. It wasnÕt fair, really.
He seemed
unsure.
She
blinked hard, as if she was going to cry, then realized she was about to cry
and blinked again.
He called
for his replacement. ÒI will need
you sooner than I thought.Ó Then he
looked up at her. ÒWe will go soon.Ó
She
nodded, tried not to look like a fool just hanging around his station. How did Leonard manage to loiter so
effortlessly?
Finally
the replacement showed up, and Spock rose and walked with her to the lift. He glanced at her repeatedly, finally
asked, ÒYour quarters or mine?Ó
ÒYours.Ó She wanted to be able to leave if this
went badly. She didnÕt want him
leaving her again.
He nodded,
led them off the lift to his quarters and palmed the door open, standing aside
for her to enter. She noticed he
didnÕt look to see if anyone was watching.
Was that a good sign that he no longer cared who saw them? Or a bad sign that he was still so
consumed by his own sadness that he wasnÕt thinking to do it?
She
pointed to the bed. ÒSit.Ó
He
sat. Without arguing. Good. Progress.
ÒThis
distance between us. ItÕs not good.Ó
He looked
down.
ÒDonÕt do
that. YouÕre just making it worse
when you wonÕt even look at me.Ó
He took a
deep breath and raised his head. ÒYou
saw a side of me I never wanted you to see.Ó
She
froze. That was not what sheÕd
expected to hear. ÒYou mean when
you beat the holy crap out of Jim?Ó
ÒYes.Ó
ÒHe goaded
you. He intended you to do that.Ó
ÒNevertheless. It was an unforgivable break.Ó
ÒUnforgivable
for whom?Ó She sat next to him on
the bed. ÒYou havenÕt wanted to be
with me. Not to talk. Not to touch. Why?Ó
ÒIÕm not
the man you thought I was.Ó
ÒYes, you
are. You reacted the way you did
because you were in pain. If you
hadnÕt been in pain at that moment, then
you wouldnÕt have been the man I thought you were.Ó She touched his face, saw him close his
eyes the way he did when he was enjoying her touch. ÒYou wouldnÕt have been the man I
love. The man I know feels things. Even when he doesnÕt always want to.Ó
He was
silent for a long time, then he said, ÒI have missed
you. I have wanted to reach out.Ó
ÒIÕm right
here. IÕm not going anywhere unless
you tell me to.Ó
He turned
to her, his eyes finally lightening a little. ÒI find it highly unlikely that you
would go even then.Ó
She
laughed. ÒNo, youÕre right. I probably wouldnÕt.Ó
He pulled
her to him, kissed her and his lips were tentative on hers at first, but then
he seemed to let go. She wrapped her
arms around him, closed her eyes and tried not to cry as he pulled her back
onto the bed.
He was
touching her. He was letting her
in.
She wasnÕt
losing him.
ÒI love
you,Ó she murmured as she opened her eyes and undid his uniform.
ÒAs I love
you,Ó he said as he watched her, his expression finally not so cold, finally
closer to being at peace.
##
Spock woke
with Nyota curled against him. He watched her sleep, felt as if a part
of himself had been returned. He had not known how to bridge the gap
he had let grow between them—fortunately, she had not been afraid to
simply tackle the issue directly.
But then
she never was.
His chrono sounded and he turned it off, felt her stir against
him. ÒGood morning,Ó he said,
knowing she would need him to make a sign that they were still all right, that
last night had not been an aberration.
She
smiled. ÒGood morning.Ó She glanced at the chrono
and frowned. ÒI promised Christine
I would go to the gym with her this morning. A new yoga class she wants to try.Ó She kissed him. ÒI hate to run.Ó
ÒI will
see you on the bridge. And later,
hopefully...?Ó
She smiled
and leaned in for a longer kiss. ÒCount
on it.Ó
She
slipped out of bed gracefully—her grace had been one of the things that
had captivated him about her—and pulled on her uniform. With a last grin, she hurried out.
He got out
of bed, took a shower and put on a fresh uniform, then headed for the
mess. He was hungrier than he had
been, filled his plate and looked for a table. Jim was sitting alone and waved him over
with a very knowing smile on his face.
ÒHungry,
Spock?Ó
ÒI missed
dinner.Ó
ÒYou
missed our chess game, too. The
fair Nyota was not in evidence last night,
either. I hope I was blown off for
a very good reason.Ó He waggled his
eyebrows.
Spock knew
he was blushing. ÒI forgot about
chess.Ó
ÒYou never
forget about anything. Unless you
had a very good reason to be distracted.Ó
JimÕs grin faded and he leaned in.
ÒI know things havenÕt been easy for you. So, you be distracted all you want,
okay?Ó
Spock felt
unaccountably touched. ÒThank you.Ó
ÒNo
problem.Ó Jim played with his eggs
for a moment, then said, ÒDo you think I should be
captain?Ó
ÒYou are
captain. The question is moot.Ó
ÒBut do
you think I should be?Ó He met SpockÕs
eyes. ÒI want a real answer.Ó
ÒI am your
first officer. Would I sign up for
that responsibility if I thought you were not fit?Ó
ÒMaybe. Since IÕm the commanding officer of your
girlfriend.Ó
Spock had
to concede the logic of that. ÒIn
that case it would be easier to try to sabotage you and make you look
incompetent than to be your friend and answer questions such as these.Ó
ÒYou
havenÕt done that.Ó Jim
frowned. ÒYou havenÕt done that,
right?Ó
ÒI have
not.Ó
ÒWhew.Ó Jim grinned and it was clear he hadnÕt
thought Spock had. ÒItÕs just...I
go to these sector meetings and they treat me like the dumb kid who happened to
have a really good day.Ó
ÒYou are
not a kid, but you are much younger than they are. You are not dumb. I find your intelligence to be quite
superior. But you did have an
extremely good day and StarfleetÕs reaction might be seen as kneejerk.Ó
Jim
started to laugh. ÒSo you donÕt
think I should be captain.Ó
ÒI did not
say that. I said others might view your rise as...Ó
ÒLudicrous? IÕve heard that word bandied about.Ó
ÒStartling,
was the word I was going to go for.Ó
ÒSlightly
better.Ó He started to eat for
real. A good
sign, in SpockÕs experience.
ÒWhy do
you care, Jim? You are
captain. Be the captain. Be the best captain you can be. If you obsess over what they think, it
may prevent you from developing into the best version of yourself. So, do not obsess.Ó
ÒWow, look
at you with all this insight.Ó He
shot Spock another of the grins that he was rapidly becoming very fond of.
ÒIt is
only the truth.Ó
ÒAnd
youÕre not afraid to tell me that.
I really like that. And I
know I need it. So donÕt stop. No matter how much it ticks me off.Ó
ÒI will continue
to annoy you. It is what I signed
up for, is it not?Ó
ÒDamned
straight.Ó Jim laughed, but the
laugh seemed for himself. ÒWhat a ride,Ó he said softly.
##
Kirk went
down to Engineering before heading back to Command for the next sector
meeting. He found Scotty tinkering
with some obscure piece of circuitry.
ÒGood
morning, sir. I bet youÕre
wondering what IÕm up to.Ó
ÒThe
thought crossed my mind.Ó
ÒIÕve been
doing some load and efficiency studies in my off hours.Ó
ÒOf course
you have.Ó Kirk grinned at
him. HeÕd never seen Scotty doing
but one of three things in his off hours.
Working, playing backgammon, or drinking. Man had simple needs.
ÒWell,
this little circuit gets a lot of juice routed through it. It seizes up because it was never
intended to handle that kind of load.
Bad planning. IÕm...enhancing
it you might say.Ó
ÒAnother
of your unauthorized improvements?Ó
All of which Kirk had appreciated over the last month. The ship ran much better now than it did
when he got it.
ÒThatÕs
putting it so bluntly, sir.Ó He
winked at Kirk. ÒBut yes.Ó
ÒWhatever
works, Mister Scott.Ó Kirk looked
around Engineering. ÒI love coming
down here. ItÕs always so...Ó
ÒPeaceful.Ó
ÒYeah.Ó
ÒWell,
youÕre welcome here anytime. You
got me off that damn ice planet. I
owe you everything.Ó
ÒNo, I owe
you. You beamed me aboard this
ship.Ó
ÒWell,
that was really the older version of our first officer.Ó
Kirk
smiled. ÒBut from a formula that
you came up with.Ó
ÒAh, youÕve
got me there.Ó Scotty shook his
head. ÒInteresting man, that older
Spock. Was a little surprised to
see him palling around with our Christine.Ó
Kirk
frowned. ÒWhat?Ó
ÒOh, aye. Saw them the other day, headed for guest
quarters. IÕm not usually an old
gossip like this, but I know LeonardÕs got his heart set on her, and I thought
you might want to let him down easily.Ó
Kirk
smiled and shook his head. He had a
feeling that Scotty knew damn good and well that Bones wasnÕt the only one who
had an interest in Christine. ÒIÕll
give him the bad news gently.Ó He
shook his head. ÒWhat does she see
in him?Ó
ÒWell,
some women like an older man,Ó Scotty said with a wink. ÒItÕs our experience.Ó
ÒOh, is
that what it is? You sure itÕs not
your amazing talent for bullshit?Ó
Scotty
laughed. ÒPossibly that, too. If I ever find myself a woman, IÕll let
you know.Ó
Kirk
grinned and took a deep breath, trying to draw in all the things he loved about
engineering. ÒThis was just what I
needed before I head into the belly of the beast for another grimly boring
staff meeting. Thank you, Mister
Scott. I am again in your debt.Ó
ÒI live to
serve, Jim.Ó
With a
last fond grin, Kirk headed for the lift, and the endless morning that awaited
him.
##
Scott
found his way to the rec lounge, saw Chekov waiting for him at their usual
table. ÒHello, young Pavel.Ó
ÒHello,
old Montgomery.Ó Pavel had the backgammon board set up. ÒI have been studying.Ó
ÒWhatÕs to
study? IÕm going to crush you like
I always do. The luck of the
Scottish.Ó
ÒI believe
the saying is the luck of the Irish, who imported that luck from a little old
lady in Vladivostok.Ó
Scott
smiled. The kid gave as good as he got. ÒSo
what have you been studying besides how to move your checkers?Ó
ÒPhysics. Warp engineering—I have some ideas
I want to discuss with you about possible dilithium alternatives.Ó
ÒSounds
promising.Ó
ÒAnd ummm...Ó Pavel
took a long swig of his beer.
Scott
sipped his scotch and waited.
ÒThereÕs a
girl I want to ask out. And I need
your advice.Ó
ÒWhy my
advice?Ó
Well, itÕs
Gaila. I know she works for you and
you know her and what she likes—I mean in the way of presents or
approaches.Ó
ÒTry
asking her out. You know, just ask.Ó He gave the boy a glare. ÒI think thatÕll do it. Be straightforward.Ó
ÒWell, but
I really like her.Ó
ÒEverybody
really likes her, lad. Everybody
throws things at her like they have to buy her. Like she doesnÕt have a perfectly good
brain that can decide whether or not she thinks youÕre worthy. Ask
her. And if you really want to warm
her up before you do, talk to her about your dilithium alternatives. SheÕs got some ideas about that, too.Ó
ÒReally?Ó
ÒAye. The lass is
brilliant. Now roll for first move
before I look for a new game to play.Ó
Pavel smiled. ÒBrilliant, huh?Ó
ÒYeah,
just like you. YouÕll be two peas
in a pod. DonÕt make me sick with
any lovey dovey stuff in Engineering, you ken?Ó
ÒLoud and
clear, old man.Ó Pavel handed him one of the dice. ÒRoll.Ó
Scott
rolled a six. Pavel
rolled a one.
ÒOh aye,Ó
Scott said, moving his pieces to block the bar. ÒHere we go, laddie. Luck be a lady.Ó
ÒEnjoy
her. LuckÕs the only lady youÕll be
seeing any time soon.Ó
Scott
smiled. The kid was a pistol.
##
Chekov
waited until he was sure Scotty was on his lunch break, then
he went into Engineering. He saw
Gaila in the back and walked over to her, trying not to forget how to put one
foot in front of the other.
She turned
and smiled at him. ÒHi, Pav.Ó
ÒHello.Ó Not enough. He needed to say more. ÒHow are you today?Ó No, too formal.
ÒIÕm
good. You?Ó
ÒI am also
good.Ó No, this was not going well
at all. ÒI was playing backgammon
with Mister Scott and was telling him of some ideas I had about alternatives to
dilithium.Ó
She put
her tools down and said, ÒItÕs lunch.
LetÕs talk about this in the mess hall, okay? IÕm starving.Ó
ÒAll
right.Ó
ÒBut it
has to be quick. So the auxiliary
mess down here.Ó
He tried
not to let any disappointment show; he had really wanted to be seen walking
into the main mess with her. ÒThatÕs
fine.Ó
She led
him to the mess, which was full of engineering types. They got their food and sat down. He forgot how to form words for a
moment—she was that pretty—but then she launched into her ideas for
alternatives and he felt his brain kick in. They were soon arguing in a good-natured
way over the merits and pitfalls of their various options.
ÒDo you
want to collaborate on this, Pav? I think we could get a paper out of our
ideas. Present it at the
engineering seminar thatÕs coming up at the end of the year maybe? What do you think?Ó
He managed
not to blurt out that he would gladly collaborate on anything she wanted. ÒI would love that.Ó
ÒGreat.Ó She gave him the giddy grin that heÕd
first been charmed by.
ÒGaila,
would you also be interested in seeing me socially?Ó
ÒThatÕs what weÕre doing now.Ó The
grin faded a bit.
ÒNo, I
mean romantically.Ó He knew he was
blushing furiously.
ÒOh. Wow. Pav, I like
you a lot. You know that, right?Ó
He tried
to nod but he could already hear the but.
ÒBut IÕm
seeing someone and itÕs exclusive.Ó
She smiled and he thought she was trying to make it a sad smile, but all
he could see was that whoever the person was, they made her happy.
ÒOh. ThatÕs wonderful. For you, I mean. Not so much for me.Ó
ÒIÕm
sorry. There are lots of lovely
women on board. IÕm sure youÕll
find someone else in no time.Ó
ÒThey
wonÕt be you. But I will be
fine. And we will still
collaborate? I have not created
discomfort for you?Ó
ÒAre you
kidding? ThatÕs work. Totally different.Ó She smiled gently at him, and he loved
her for it. ÒThere is no one IÕd
rather collaborate with on this.Ó
ÒYou are
very kind.Ó
ÒNo, IÕm
not.Ó She patted his hand. ÒWeÕre both brilliant. WeÕll knock their socks off. If they wear socks, I mean.Ó
He laughed. She was the only girl
he knew who could make getting shot down this painless.
##
Gaila
heard her chime go off and took a deep breath before saying, ÒCome.Ó
Hikaru smiled as he walked
in. He stopped when he took in her
expression. ÒWhatÕs wrong?Ó
ÒI may
have made a big assumption. I hope
not.Ó
He walked
over to her. ÒYou actually look
nervous. You never look nervous.Ó
He put his arms around her and kissed her, and she felt herself
relaxing. He was the first man who
made her feel this way: safe. ÒSo
what assumption did you make?Ó
He was
moving her around the floor as if they were dancing, smiling at her in his easy
way. She laughed softly, kissed him
for a while, enjoying the feeling of just being with him, the casual way he
held her, no pressure ever, no expectations. But whatever she wanted, he gave her. If she held on tight, wanted it a little
rougher, he was there for her. If she wanted it light and gentle, he was fine
with that, too. He never seemed to
judge her.
And he
always seemed to see her. Her, Gaila, not just the sexy Orion girl.
HeÕd snuck
up on her, first the guy with the sweet smile who liked to play with
swords. Then Sulu
who sat with her at breakfast since they were both early risers. Then Hikaru who taught her Tai Chi to help her focus better. Then her lover, just like all the
others, sheÕd thought—only when sheÕd normally have said that she loved
him, she hadnÕt. She couldnÕt. That was the thing you said to
customers. To men
who didnÕt mean much to you.
And Hikaru meant a lot to her.
She hadnÕt
said it, just enjoyed what he made her feel. And then enjoyed it even more the next
time they got together. And the next time.
Until it became second nature to not even think of other partners, to
only think of him.
Monogamy
was a strange state for an Orion, yet with him, it felt relaxed. He was so fluid. So forgiving that she never wanted to do
anything heÕd have to forgive her for.
She
stopped their little dance. ÒPavel asked me out today.Ó
Hikaru started to laugh
softly. ÒDid not see that coming.Ó
ÒMe,
either. I thought we were just
friends.Ó
ÒWell, he
has been smitten with you for a while now.
I just never thought heÕd work up the nerve.Ó
ÒI told
him no. But...Ó She looked down, didnÕt want to
see his face.
He tipped
her chin back up so she had to look at him. ÒBut...?Ó
ÒBut I
told him I was seeing someone. And
it was exclusive.Ó
His grin
was huge. ÒYou did?Ó
She found
herself grinning just as big. ÒIs
that all right?Ó
ÒAll
right? ThatÕs tremendous.Ó He picked her up and spun her
around. ÒI love you, you idiot.Ó
ÒYou do?Ó
ÒYes. I just wasnÕt sure if you wanted to be
that serious with me.Ó
She kissed
him once he put her down. ÒWell, I
do. I love you, too.Ó
ÒDoes this
mean we can go public now? Please,
IÕm sick of sneaking around. It was
fun at first, but thereÕs no reason for it now, is there?Ó
She shook
her head. ÒNo, thereÕs no reason
for it now.Ó
He grabbed
her hand. ÒCome on. WeÕre going to the rec lounge.Ó His smile was luminous. ÒThis is the best day ever.Ó
She pulled
him back to her and kissed him. It
wasnÕt her best day ever. That
would be the day she escaped slavery.
The next was the day she got into Starfleet. And then the day she got assigned to the
Enterprise. But this was easily the fourth best day
ever.
##
Sulu
whistled his way into sickbay.
Christine
smiled at him. ÒSomebodyÕs happy.Ó He knew she had seen Gaila and him in
the lounge last night. ÒCongratulations. You two make a nice couple.Ó
ÒThanks.Ó
McCoy came
out of his office. ÒYes, they do
look nice together. ThatÕs what
happens when people of similar ages get together.Ó
Christine
rolled her eyes and handed him the scanner. She smiled grimly at Sulu. ÒDoctor Surly will be conducting your
physical today.Ó
He tried
not to laugh. As soon as Christine
was out of earshot, he said, ÒYou need a friendly ear, Doc?Ó
ÒI most
certainly do not. Lie down.Ó
Sulu did
as he was told, tried to wipe the happy smile off his face but just could not.
ÒAh,
ignore me, Hikaru. IÕm happy for you. IÕm just having some trouble figuring
out ChristineÕs tastes right now. Probably for the best.
Chain of command and all that.Ó
Sulu
nearly smiled. This is how it
always worked. People would say
they didnÕt need a friendly ear, but then they invariably poured out their
problems to him. ÒChain of command
doesnÕt have to be a problem.Ó He
left out the Òon this shipÓ part, since he figured McCoy could follow the logic
train to first officer and communications officer.
McCoy
grinned. ÒI like you.Ó
ÒI havenÕt
seen Christine with anyone.Ó Was
she with Scotty? He was older, but
not that much older than McCoy.
ÒNot
someone on board this ship.Ó McCoy
quit talking, stayed busy running scans and checking the biobed
readings. Then he murmured, ÒItÕs
the other Spock.Ó
ÒThe old
guy?Ó
ÒThatÕs
what IÕm saying. HeÕs not just
older, heÕs old.Ó
Sulu had
to agree. ÒOkay, IÕd say she has a
certain type.Ó
ÒCorpse,
you mean?Ó
Sulu
laughed. ÒExperienced.Ó
ÒNearly
expired.Ó McCoy shook his head. ÒIÕve seen him watching her. IÕd give you even odds that he was with
her in his reality.Ó
ÒThat
would be strange for both of them.Ó
ÒNot
strange enough to keep her away.Ó
McCoyÕs pout rivaled a teenage girlÕs. ÒI should not be telling you this.Ó
ÒDoctor-patient
confidentiality. DonÕt worry.Ó Sulu smiled at him. ÒIÕve had my share of heartache. Do you really care for her?Ó
ÒI donÕt
know. She...knows how to take my
bad attitude. Puts up with me but
gives me sass right back. I guess I
find that pretty irresistible.Ó
ÒI can see
that. Just enjoy that part of it, I
guess. Who can understand how love
works?Ó
ÒTruer
words.Ó McCoy harrumphed in a way
Sulu had only ever seen on vids.
Then he patted him on the shoulder.
ÒOkay, youÕre good to go.
Whatever youÕre doing, keep it up.
I wish all my patients had readings this good.Ó
Sulu
smiled and swung his legs off the table.
He decided not to say that love probably had a lot to do with his rosy
good health.
##
McCoy
walked the corridors of Starfleet command trying to forget the smile heÕd seen
on ChristineÕs face as sheÕd met up with the other Spock. He had to get a handle on this raging
jealousy; he was starting to take it out on their Spock, which wasnÕt fair at
all.
He turned
into the corridor heÕd been told, looked for the office, saw PikeÕs name on the
door and buzzed for entrance. The
door opened and he saw the welcoming grin of the man heÕd grown very fond of
while heÕd had him under his care in sickbay. ÒAdmiral.Ó
ÒDoctor.Ó Pike pushed out his chair
and McCoy realized it wasnÕt the wheelchair. ÒIÕve been a physical therapy dynamo.Ó
ÒLet me
see.Ó
Pike got
up with a smile; his steps were tentative, but he made it across the room under
his own steam. ÒI have the
wheelchair in the closet. I canÕt
go far yet, but IÕll get there.Ó
ÒIÕm proud
of you, sir.Ó
ÒWell, you
stabilized me. I owe any of this
progress to you.Ó He walked back to
his desk, leaned on it.
ÒYou
werenÕt even going to PT when we last talked. You seemed really down. What changed?Ó
Pike
smiled. ÒFriend of mine got back
into town. DidnÕt like my
attitude. Has a certain way about
her.Ó
ÒEveryone
is getting laid but me, I swear to God.Ó
Pike
shrugged. ÒYou either have it or
you donÕt.Ó He walked back around
to his chair. ÒSo, you really come
all this way just to check on me?Ó
ÒI did.Ó
ÒI donÕt
believe you.Ó Pike narrowed his
eyes. ÒI mean itÕs nice and all to
see you. But you could have commed.Ó
McCoy
tried to think of a good lie but finally just settled for asking what he really
wanted to know. ÒWhatÕs going to
happen to the other Spock?Ó
Pike
started to laugh. ÒAh, those Chapel
women.Ó
McCoy
tried to keep his face composed.
ÒDonÕt
even bother. IÕve seen them
together. How bad do you have it?Ó
ÒYou said
women.Ó
ÒUh, that
was not my question.Ó
McCoy
smiled. He had him on the
ropes. ÒYour gal. SheÕs a Chapel?Ó He tried to remember what Christine had
said about her sister. ÒOhhh, that woman
is your motivator? Wow.Ó
Pike
shrugged again. ÒLike I said. Those Chapel women.Ó
ÒYouÕre
not answering my question about Spock.Ó
ÒThatÕs
because itÕs none of your damn business.Ó
ÒI knew
it. YouÕre keeping him on as a
consultant.Ó He got up and began to
pace. ÒI bet heÕll be joyriding
around the galaxy, hopping rides on any convenient ship. What do you want to bet itÕs the Enterprise thatÕs convenient?Ó
ÒOkay,
youÕve got it bad. May I make a
suggestion?Ó
McCoy
nodded.
ÒDial it
back or youÕre going to have some real unpleasantness on your hands. SheÕll tire of him or she wonÕt. If she does, youÕll have your shot. If she doesnÕt, then she was never meant
to be yours. In the meantime, move
on.Ó
ÒThatÕs
easier said than done.Ó
ÒI hate to
say this, because I think highly of you, but ChristineÕs like a little sister
to me, so IÕll be checking in on her from time to time. If you get my drift?Ó PikeÕs eyes went very hard. ÒThat can be your motivator to get
better.Ó
McCoy
didnÕt look away, then he nodded. ÒThank you. ThatÕs probably a good idea.Ó
ÒWhat are
friends for?Ó He held out his
hand. ÒWe are still friends, right,
Leonard?Ó
McCoy
reached over the desk, clasped PikeÕs hand firmly. ÒNow more than ever, Chris.Ó
##
Pike sat
at his desk, thinking about Leonard.
There had been a time when he had been just as obsessed with Gwen and who she was seeing.
He knew the danger signs, figured it was a nice irony to be his doctorÕs
sanity check, since it was his own CMO Boyce whoÕd called him out for his
behavior.
Maybe
someday Leonard would get his chance, although he wasnÕt sure. The way Christine looked at the older
Spock was intense. And sheÕd always
liked much older men. He wasnÕt
sure Leonard stood a chance—hell, even he was probably too young for
her. Who could understand women?
There was
a soft sound at his door and he smiled.
Gwen was here; heÕd given her a special tone on the annunciator. He pressed the button on his desk and
the doors slide open.
ÒHello,
Number One. To what do I owe this
visit?Ó
ÒI just
missed you, Admiral.Ó She smiled at
him, the open and easy way she only used with him.
He was
struck by how beautiful she still was.
All these years and she was the only woman he could see. The only one he wanted. ÒWell, that is a fortunate coincidence
because I missed you, too.Ó He held
out his hand and she came and perched in front of him on his desk, then leaned
down and gave him a lingering kiss.
When she
finally pulled away, he said, ÒI will never get tired of that.Ó
ÒMe,
either.Ó She sat up straight, took a
deep breath. ÒI have news.Ó
ÒYou do?Ó
She
nodded. ÒIÕm transferring off the Meridian.Ó
ÒTo a
better ship?Ó
She shook
her head.
ÒTo a starbase?Ó
She
laughed.
He could
feel his heart beating faster. Her
leave was almost up. HeÕd been
counting the days till she left, could feel his mood shifting down as that
moment approached. ÒTo...here?Ó
She
nodded. ÒDifferent area of Fleet. You wonÕt be in my chain of command.Ó
ÒVery
nice.Ó
ÒI didnÕt
ask you if you even wanted this. I
should have.Ó
He laughed
and pulled her down to him, covering her with silly, joyful kisses. ÒYou donÕt ever have to ask me something
like that. WeÕre going to be
together? Really together?Ó
She nodded. ÒI just...I couldnÕt go
back. I couldnÕt leave you again.Ó
ÒGood. Because I donÕt think I could have stood
it if you had.Ó
She smiled,
and he realized her eyes were suspiciously bright. She never cried. Never.
ÒYouÕre
cry—Ó
ÒAm not.Ó She dashed at her eyes.
ÒYes, you
are. And I love you for it.Ó
ÒI love
you. I have loved you for the
longest time. And I will love you
forever.Ó
He drank
her in, played those words over and over.
He loved those words. They
were true. And sheÕd be here. He
didnÕt have to say goodbye again. ÒI
will love you forever too, Gwen.Ó
He laughed. ÒLetÕs go out
for lunch. Chair be
damned. WeÕll go somewhere
nice. Really nice.Ó And the restaurant would accommodate him,
or Gwen would kill someone.
ÒIÕd
rather get Greek. You remember, the
first place we ever had dinner as more than just colleagues?Ó
ÒEven
better.Ó Mykonos had outside
seating. Easy to
fit the chair in that. And
eventually, with her here, he knew he wouldnÕt need the chair.
With her
here, he could do anything.
##
Number One
came back from lunch with Chris sated and happy. HeÕd been so relaxed, so cheerful. SheÕd done the right thing. And for once, the right thing was also
the thing that made them both the happiest.
She
rounded a corner, saw her sister with an older
man—that was nothing new. But
an older Vulcan man, now that was unusual.
Christine
saw her, waved, and said something to the man, who turned and stared at Number
One like he was seeing a ghost.
She
realized she knew his face. It was
older, so much older, but it was SpockÕs face. SheÕd heard he was here; sheÕd just
never imagined sheÕd find him with her sister.
She walked
over to them. ÒChristine. And you are Spock, arenÕt you?Ó
He was
still staring at her in the most intense way. ÒI am. It is good to see you again, Number One.Ó
ÒYou knew
me, in your reality?Ó
ÒI
did. You were a mentor to me.Ó
Christine
smiled. ÒSame as here, right, Gwen?Ó
ÒThat is
your name? You never told me.Ó He seemed so surprised.
She did,
too. ÒIÕve told our Spock.Ó
ÒOne of
the many differences.Ó He turned to
Christine, graced her with a look Number One could only classify as tender.
ÒYou are
together?Ó
She
nodded, had the expression that dared Number One to make something of it.
ÒOkay. Hmmm.Ó
ÒYou do
not approve?Ó Spock asked, and he sounded as if he cared about the answer.
ÒIÕm
unsure.Ó She studied him, then her
sister. ÒWere you with Christine in
your reality?Ó
ÒGwen,
thatÕs none of your business.Ó
That
pretty much answered her question, but she said, ÒI think it is. If Spock here is just trying to
recapture what heÕs lost, IÕm not sure thatÕs fair to you.Ó
Spock
smiled. ÒAnother difference. In my reality, you and Christine were
estranged. She longed for a closer
relationship with you. If you had
ever shown this much interest in who she was seeing, it would have made her
very happy.Ó
Number One
was not sure if that was an argument for or against her case. She saw Christine smiling in a way that
said this was why she liked older men: they could get one over on her big sis. Number One settled for saying, ÒIÕll be
watching you,Ó and tried to load a lot of threat into her voice.
Spock
bowed his head. ÒI would expect no
less.Ó He stared at her again. ÒIt is extremely good to see you.Ó
Christine
gave her a hug. ÒBuzzkill.Ó Then
she kissed her on the cheek with a little giggle and went off with Spock.
Number One
watched her. Her sister had an ease with the way she walked next to Spock, the way they
talked as if there was no one else in the room. They navigated the space like one
unit.
Christine
had never had that with Roger.
Number One had despised Roger.
SheÕd been so happy when Christine had dumped him. Maybe...maybe this was who she was
supposed to be with?
She
decided to not worry about it for now.
She had meetings all afternoon, and then she and Chris were going to
start looking for a place. Someplace that would be theirs, not his or hers.
Theirs. It had a nice ring to it.
She saw
Kirk and McCoy heading back up to the ship that should have been ChrisÕs. She used to resent Kirk for taking it
away. Now, now she decided to be
more sanguine about it. The kid had
a hard row ahead of him. And she
had Chris on Earth with her.
She
thought maybe she and Chris got the better deal. Even if theyÕd already agreed that the
one thing their place had to have was a roof deck, so they could always see the
stars at night.
Some
things you donÕt just leave behind.
FIN