DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2007 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.

Unlucky in Love

by Djinn

The corridors seemed to be closing in around her, and Chapel slipped into the first unoccupied conference room she came to. Breathing deeply, she tried to compose herself, tried to forget that the man she'd left Emergency Ops for and followed onto this damned ship had just told her their relationship wasn't working. For him.

It had been working just fine for her.

She wiped her eyes, wished there was a mirror in the room. Then she headed back out into the corridor, stopping a moment to get her bearings. This new Enterprise was confusing and big and not the home the first one had been. Why had she thought coming here would be a good idea? Why had she followed a man...again? She'd promised herself she'd never go down this road again.

"You're a long way from sickbay." A gentle voice, familiar and one that always made her feel safe. "Are you lost, Chris?" There was no mocking in Kirk's voice.

She turned, smiled at him and prayed that he wouldn't be able to see she'd been crying. "I may be a little turned around." She tried to hide her embarrassment with a laugh. "I navigated fine through Decker's refits, but this new ship of yours is another thing altogether."

He narrowed his eyes, and she knew he could tell she was upset. But he didn't say anything, just eased her over to the side panel. "Let me show you the latest and greatest in personal navigation." He held his palm over a dark panel and it lit up, showing a small schematic of the ship. "Sickbay," he murmured, and the schematic changed, showing where they were and how to get to sickbay.

"Thanks." She turned to go.

"You were visiting Commander Wainwright?"

"On my break, sir." She sounded far too defensive.

He waved the words away, as if that wasn't where he'd been going with it. "John's a fine engineer." John. He'd been the one Kirk had selected. She'd just come along for the ride.

She nodded.

"And uh...popular."

Much more popular than Chapel had been aware. They'd only been on the ship a week, and he'd found someone to replace her. Lots of someones, actually.

Kirk looked uncomfortable. "I don't make it a policy to interfere in my officers' romantic lives."

"Then don't start now." The words came out much sharper than she meant them to. Blushing, she turned to meet his eyes. "I'm sorry."

He didn't seem angry, was looking at her with something that seemed too close to pity for comfort. "For a big ship, it's a small place. I see things."

He'd probably seen this coming long before she had. "Bully for you, sir."

This time he did look irritated with her. "I'm trying to help."

"You can't. The man I'm in love with wants to be free. To play the field. I'll get over it, sir. I'm quite good with heartache. In fact, it's normally my steady state." She walked away, hating that what she'd said had sounded so self-pitying.

He caught up with her and they walked along in silence for a bit. Glancing at him, she wondered if his sudden desire for her company was an indication of sadism or masochism, or both. She decided not to ask--she'd said enough stupid things to her captain already--and settled for glaring at him.

He sighed and looked away.

"I guess you can see why he left me?" She winced at her tone. Gods above, she was pathetic.

He stopped. "Since you're hurting, I'm going to let all of this go."

"That's not an answer to my question."

He turned slowly, his eyes not letting hers go. "Wainwright's an idiot. There's your answer." He finally looked away, his jaw tight.

"Thanks."

He shrugged, as if his patience had run out and then some.

"Unfortunately, he's an idiot that I'm going to have to see. On the ship. All the time. With other women." At least when she'd been infatuated with Spock, she'd been spared that. No one could call Spock a player. Or at least not when he was in his right mind.

"Why do you think I don't get involved with people on my ship?"

"You have much better judgment?"

He laughed softly, but she knew it was with her, not at her. "Time does heal all wounds."

"Just not always as fast as we'd like."

"That's regrettably true." With a last shake of his head, he left her alone.

She headed for the lift and sickbay to bury herself in her work. She was good at that.

-------------

Chapel sat in the most out-of-the-way bar she could find on the Starbase. It wasn't as out of the way as she would have liked. She could hear two of her shipmates ranking the men on the Enterprise. John's name came up--rather high on the charts--and she took her drink to a booth near the front where she wouldn't hear the gory details of why he'd merited that rating

She saw Kirk coming down the corridor with Sulu and Scotty. He nodded to her as he passed, and she tried to smile back. She was halfway through her third drink when he came back down the corridor, this time alone.

"So, how far on the road to drunk are you?" he asked, sliding into the seat opposite her.

"Not far. And I don't recall inviting you on my journey."

"No, neither do I." He nodded to the bartender and pointed to what she was having.

When the bartender brought the drink over, Chapel pushed her empty glass at him for a refill.

Before he could take it, Kirk shook his head. "Bring the lady a water."

"I'm in the mood for something stronger."

"Tough." He gave the man a "Shouldn't you be gone?" look, and the man hurried away.

"Why are you doing this?"

"What am I doing?" He sipped at his drink. "Having a drink with an old friend, is all."

"Right." She took the water the bartender brought and downed a healthy swallow. She really was thirsty--as a doctor, she knew booze was dehydrating; as a woman in pain, she didn't care. "I know you were stuck with me."

His frowned, wrinkling his brow in a way she didn't remember him doing when he was younger. "I don't follow."

"You wanted John. And we were a package deal."

He started to laugh softly. "We really need to work on your self-esteem."

"What does that mean?"

He threw back his drink. "I wanted you on the ship, and John was part of the deal. I wasn't all that keen on having him here." He leaned in. "I knew what a disruptive influence he could be, but he was with you and seemed to have settled down. So I reassessed my earlier rejection."

She stared at him. "You turned him down before?"

He nodded.

"When?"

He seemed to think back. "About six months ago. We were filling some key posts in engineering."

Six months. One month before John had found her in the bar the Ops crew frequented and pitched some major woo. A very long, drunken night. Just another one-night stand, she'd thought. A safe thing.

And then he'd come back to the bar the next night. And the next. And the next.

She'd gone back into medicine for him. To be with him. Sighing, she took another drink of water, wishing it were something stronger. "He used me."

"Seems so."

"How did he even know that you would take him if he were with me?"

He smiled gently. "You're part of my original crew. When haven't I taken care of any of you?"

That much was certainly true. "I don't know if I feel better or worse knowing he used me--that this wasn't personal."

"Can't help you with that." He patted her hand, slid out of the booth. "Don't drown your sorrows. He's not worth it."

She sipped at her water as she watched him walk away. Glancing over at the women who'd been assessing John, she saw that they were watching Kirk. Then one of them looked over at her, a strange look on her face. She said something to the other woman, and they got up and left. But not without another of those looks from the first one.

Chapel finally realized the expression was envy.

People really did see what they wanted to.

-------------------

The mess was empty, plenty of chairs to be had, but Chapel saw John walking toward her. He took the seat opposite her and gave her the grin she used to love.

"Slumming?" Her voice was bitter. She hated giving him that.

His grin faded, and he stared at her with something akin to bemusement. "We had some fun times, didn't we?"

They had. But she hadn't been short on fun when she'd met him. It just hadn't been long-term fun. She nodded tightly. "I know you used me."

"And you didn't use me right back? You weren't exactly hard to land."

"No, I guess I wasn't. I was stupid enough to consider it love."

"Well, Chrissie, that was your mistake." He took her hand. "Although I do care about you."

She jerked her hand away. "Sure you do."

"Come on. I let you down easy. And I tried to make it work."

"For a week? You consider that trying?"

"Actually, for me, it is. If we held a longevity contest, you'd win."

She sighed. It was so sad to think she was the champ of his relationships.

"No hard feelings?" He gave her his handsome smile--why had she never noticed how calculated it was?

"Fine." She was too tired to fight about this.

"Great." He pushed food around his plate for a minute. "So why the grudge? Why make him ride me?"

"What?"

"My last landing party. The captain wasn't what you'd call friendly."

"That wasn't my doing." Although it made her sort of happy. "Did you deserve to be ridden?"

"No." He leaned back, pushing his tray away. "Well, okay, maybe I was spending more time getting to know Lieutenant Jamison than I should have been."

"The captain likes his crew to actually pay attention to their duties. Maybe you should keep your mind on your job and not on interrupting someone else's."

"Did you hate me interrupting you in sickbay when we first got here?"

"I didn't. But if the captain had caught us, I'd have expected a dressing down." She picked up her tray. "My appetite is gone. Can't imagine why."

He stopped her, his hand on her wrist. "Don't make this ugly, Christine."

"You leave me alone, and I'll return the favor." She stared down at his hand on her wrist until he let go, then she walked away, trying to ignore that her hands were shaking as she put her tray in the recycler.

"He's an ass," she heard someone say.

Turning, she saw one of the women who'd been in the bar. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Wainwright. He's a real jerk. I found that out the hard way." She laughed brittlely. "Pretty soon we can start a club of haters."

Chapel glanced back where he was watching them, a look of wariness on his face--but no remorse. "He's a piece of work, that's for sure." She patted the other woman on the shoulder. "My advice is to let it go. He's not worth it."

The captain had been dead on about that.

------------------

The lounge was packed with crew watching talent night. Chapel sat with Uhura and Scotty in one of the rear rows of chairs, laughing at the comedy routine that was being performed. When it was over and the ad-hoc stagehands were moving furniture around for the next act, she noticed Uhura whispering something in Mister Scott's ear, and he nodded with a big grin.

"We'll be right back," Uhura said.

"Well, maybe not right back." Scotty winked at her.

"Have fun." Chapel smiled, and realized it didn't hurt to imagine others happy in love the way it had when John had first ditched her. She scanned the room, saw him sitting with an ensign who'd just transferred on.

"Enjoying the show?" Kirk asked as he sat down next to her.

"I am."

"Too bad Uhura and Mister Scott couldn't say the same." His eyes were twinkling in a way that told her he knew exactly why the pair had disappeared.

"Yes, given the option, I'd choose the amateur comedy club over...other things."

He laughed softly. "Ever since Spock's brother hijacked my ship, they've been enjoying other things." He shook his head. "At least someone got something good out of that."

"Not your finest hour?"

"Uh, no. Let's change the subject." He glanced over where she'd been looking but didn't comment.

"John's a busy boy."

"He does seem to be." He lost the tolerant look he'd had when Ny and Scotty were the topic. "Do I even know who he's with?"

"Nope. New meat. I checked her in this morning."

"Man wastes no time."

"It's eye opening. And not in a good way." She smiled gently to show him she was okay with the painful lesson.

"What I can't figure out is why you couldn't see through him." He was talking low, the conversation just for them.

"Because I'm known for my excellent judgment in relationships?"

He looked surprised. "Actually, you are. Korby was a good man, despite everything. And Spock, while perhaps not the most emotionally available, is certainly a decent guy. But Wainwright...?" His mouth twisted a bit.

"I was coming off a string of short-lived relationships. That was sort of the norm in Ops."

"Was that your norm?" He sounded surprised at her.

"Are you judging?"

"Don't get mean." He leaned in. "I guess I think of you as monogamous."

"I am. Repeatedly so." At his smile, she sighed. "It was easier in Ops to find a nice outsider. Preferably someone in town for a short stay. Have fun, move on. No harm, no foul. No complications. Like you, we tended not to mess in our nest."

"It's a good policy."

"And then John came out of nowhere. A great-looking man interested in something more. I guess the time was perfect for him to show up. I was..."

"Ready for something more? Maybe a little lonely?"

She met his eyes, saw only understanding. "You got it." She shook her head. "Unfortunately, a little lonely equaled a lot vulnerable in this case. And stupid." She leaned back and studied him. "You're not...riding him on my account, are you?"

"Did he tell you I was?"

"Sort of."

"You two are still talking?" There was surprise--and something else she couldn't identify--in his voice.

"Not intentionally." The amount of rancor in her voice seemed to cheer him up. "He kind of cornered me."

"Ah. Well, no, I'm not riding him on your behalf. I'd do the same even if he hadn't been an ass to a friend of mine. Bad behavior is bad behavior."

"No argument from me. I just wanted to make sure it wasn't...personal."

"I don't like what he did. But I'm not going to let it get in the way of day-to-day operations--or my assessment of his performance of his duties."

"Okay, then. Let's drop the subject."

"It's dropped." He motioned toward the stage. "They're just about ready. You think our two lovebirds are coming back anytime soon?"

"Odds are slim to none."

He grinned. "Good. Because I like the view from here."

Glancing at him, she saw he was looking toward the stage with a serious expression.

Then his lips cocked up just a bit, as if he knew how that had sounded. "Do I have to rephrase?"

"Not on my account."

"We really do need to work on that self-esteem." His grin was warm and made her laugh softly. He sat back, his arm bumping hers and she shifted in her seat to make room. "It's all right," he said softly.

She leaned back, letting her arm come to rest against his. It felt odd to sit like that.

Then the performance--a very funny scene from a twentieth-century play--started, and she let herself be drawn into the moment. Kirk's arm pressed against hers harder as he laughed, then he'd pull away again. She glanced at him, decided he was just enjoying himself.

Nothing wrong with that. He needed time off as much as any of them did.

------------------

Sickbay was quiet, dimly lit so the few patients in it could sleep undisturbed. Chapel turned away from her screen, rubbing her eyes. She heard the main doors open, walked out of her office, and saw Kirk coming across the room. She heard him tell the nurse who'd risen to meet him that he just needed to see Doctor Chapel.

"Little late for you, isn't it?" She'd changed to Gamma shift when John had broken up with her and had found she liked it.

"We've got to get you back on Alpha shift." He motioned her into her office.

"Why? Everyone wants Alpha. I actually like this shift." She watched as he closed the door to her office. "Something on your mind?"

"Not really the body part that something's on." He seemed to be blushing. "Okay, this is more embarrassing than I'd originally thought. And I ranked it pretty high to begin with."

"Did you have a little too much fun with the Mandagrians?" She'd heard the captain had been quite taken with the head of the delegation. And vice versa.

"I think so." He made a sheepish face as Chapel scanned him. "But she was so sweet."

"That's what you get for going where no man has gone before." She checked the readings. "Although it looks like plenty have gone wherever it was you were."

"Very funny." He grimaced. "Bones said my shots were up to date."

"They are. This is new." She patted his arm. "New and interesting, not new and bad. If I don't say where I got the sample, can I study this?"

He rolled his eyes. "You can do whatever you want with it so long as you fix me. It itches like crazy."

"Sorry." She stepped out of her office into the main area, grabbing the combination of drugs she needed. "This should do the trick." She shot him in the arm with the mixture. "The itching should stop in about five minutes. The infection should respond to the antibiotic treatment I gave you. But just in case, come back in a few days, and I'll make sure the infection is gone."

"Thanks." He didn't seem to be in a hurry to leave.

"Was there something else?"

"Are you really going to study it?"

She nodded. "But you'll be 'Patient X,' I promise."

"Good." He still wasn't leaving.

She sat down and stared up at him. "Why didn't you go to Len? Wouldn't it have been less embarrassing?"

"Oh, definitely. But there's always a lecture factor with him. I didn't figure you'd read me the riot act."

She laughed. "Hey, at least one of us is getting some."

"I thought you were 'Ms. Love 'Em and Leave 'Em'?"

"Ship's too small to be that anymore. Not like Ops where you never had to see them again if you didn't want to."

"I appreciate you not trolling through the crew." His grin took any sting out of the words. "But we've been on shore leave, at starbases. Plenty of friendly strangers." He sat down in her guest chair, seemed to be studying her. "Why haven't you gotten back on the horse?"

She rolled her eyes at the expression.

"It's been four months since you came aboard, Chris."

"You're keeping track?" But she knew he could probably recite the dates all his command crew had reported for duty.

"Wainwright's not worth hiding out here on Gamma shift for."

"I'm not hiding. I was, but I'm not anymore." She saw that he didn't believe her. "It's quiet, and I like it." That wasn't a lie. It was quiet and she was getting to know a quieter version of herself. The Christine she'd allowed to sink away in the hubbub of Ops. "I think it's good for me here."

"Get back on Alpha shift. That's my advice."

"Just to find that horse? There are nice men who work Gamma shift."

"There are nicer ones on Alpha." His eyes twinkled.

She laughed. "Good night, sir."

"Just say you'll consider it."

"I'll consider it."

He stood up, smiling broadly. "I feel better already."

"Get some rest, sir. That's my advice. Alpha shift will be here before you know it."

"Aye-aye, Doctor." He mock saluted her and left.

She got back to work, trying to ignore that her office seemed emptier without him.

---------------

"So you're back on Alpha, I see?" Kirk sidled up to her as they walked along the riverbank.

"And on landing party duty. Wonder how that happened?"

"I thought you could use some sun. You were getting awfully pasty." He grinned and tried to look innocent.

"Who knew you were such a meddler?"

"I am, aren't I?" He took a deep breath. "This is a nice planet."

"It is. And habitable." This far out there were still some worlds left to discover. She liked that. It was a far cry from Ops, where everything boiled down to hostilities or natural disasters or technical failures. Here there was sun and sky and grass and the smell of life. And no one to muck it up.

"Big thoughts?"

"Just thinking that there's no need for Emergency Ops here."

"Not yet anyway." He smiled gently. "But give it time. People have a way of spoiling things."

"I know." She took a deep breath. "But we can't stop that. For now, I'm just going to enjoy the day."

"That's very Zen of you."

"You think I can't be Zen?"

He shrugged.

"It's sort of rich. Coming from you. Mister 'Find a Way or Make a Way.'"

He laughed loudly. She saw Spock and the two crewmen with him turn to see what was so funny. The crewmen turned away, but Spock continued to look back.

"He's suddenly realizing what he turned down all those years," Kirk said softly.

"I sincerely doubt that."

"You never know."

"With him, I think I do know." She'd interacted very little with Spock since reporting. They'd had little opportunity or need to work together, and neither of them had seemed inclined to find a reason. Things had changed for her after he died. Something in her had died--she thought it was the hope that he'd ever be anything more to her than a colleague.

"Do you still have feelings for him?" Kirk's voice was nonchalant.

"Nope. Just mutual respect." At least, she hoped it was mutual.

"You're sure?"

"Yep." She crouched down to take a sample from a flower. "Why? Afraid I'm going to embarrass myself?"

"No, not at all." His look as he met her eyes was a little confused.

"What?"

He took a deep breath, seemed to be coloring a little. "I'm not sure why I asked."

"It's okay. I don't mind that you did." She took a sample of a lichen-like growth that was covering several small stones.

"Well, I'll leave you to that."

"Okay."

But he didn't move, and she went on with her work as if she wasn't acutely aware that he hadn't left.

Finally, he said, "I should go."

"Probably so." She looked over at him, then pushed herself to her feet. "Or you could carry the sample case." She was perfectly capable of carrying the sample case by herself.

He rose quickly. "I could do that." Taking the case from her, he followed her to the next group of bushes. "I'm adding nothing to this venture. I do know that."

"Your company's not nothing." She glanced at him, smiling softly.

He smiled back. "Well, okay, then. Here's me helping."

She laughed and went back to work. He carried the bag around for while, and they talked softly about things that didn't matter but were interesting anyway.

Then he gave the case back to her. "I should check on the others."

"Probably so."

He went to join Spock, then made the rounds of his other teams. She found herself occasionally peeking over to see where he was.

Several times, she caught him peeking back.

-------------------

Chapel looked up from her reading to see Spock standing in front of her, hands behind his back. "Hi."

"Doctor." He just stared down at her.

"Did you need something?" It certainly wasn't a seat. The lounge was nearly empty.

He sat down stiffly in the chair across from her. "We have not had many opportunities to talk since you reported."

"We've had lots of opportunities, just little desire." She grinned at him, enjoying being able to act natural, not like a lovesick fool, around him.

To her surprise, he seemed to relax. "That is a more accurate assessment of the situation."

"I'm a realist. Despite my romantic tendencies." Before he could panic, she waved at him in what she hoped was a reassuring way. "I don't mean you're in danger anymore."

"I was not unduly concerned that I was."

"Well, aren't you the brave one." She put her padd down. "Why are you here, Spock?"

"Do you like Beethoven?"

"I assume you mean the composer?"

He nodded.

"I do like him."

Spock nodded, his eyes narrowing, as if he was filing that away for future use. Then she saw him look toward the entrance, and his expression--such as it was--changed.

She followed his gaze, saw John hugging a woman, then another, then a third. "What's going on?"

"I imagine he is bidding them farewell."

"Farewell. Why?"

"He is leaving. Are you upset at the idea?"

She stared at him. "Did the captain do this because--"

"Jim did not do this. I did. At Mister Scott's urging."

"Oh." She frowned. "You didn't do this for me, did you?"

"I did not." His tone was pretty definite on that one.

"No, I guess you wouldn't." She watched John as he pulled one of the women back in for another go. "So he wore out his welcome?"

"That is an excellent way to interpret the situation. And Mister Scott is usually quite lenient with emotional excess."

"He's a big softie, you mean."

"I believe that is what I said." He stood. "I will let you return to your reading."

"Okay." She watched him walk off. He passed John, not seeing, or else ignoring, John's glare at him.

John looked at her, then walked over slowly. "You heard?"

"Yep."

"Your doing?"

"Actually, no."

He sat down. "I wanted to get on this ship more than anything." He sighed. "Well, I was on it."

She smiled gently at him. "You were. You got here."

"Not on my own, though. Kirk wouldn't take me on my own."

She looked down.

"I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to use you."

She nodded, accepting that this was probably as real as he ever got. As he rose, she said, "John?"

He looked back at her.

"Would it have been wrong if you weren't getting transferred?"

He gave her the shit-eating grin that had first caught her interest. "Hell, no."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." She picked up her padd. "Safe journey."

"You, too, Chrissie."

She didn't watch him walk out of her life.

---------------

Len stood in her doorway, holding up the wall or something, as she stayed late to write up her case notes for the day. "So, only an hour till Starbase Fifteen, Christine. Big plans tonight?"

"No."

He frowned. "No?"

She shook her head.

"Hmm." Then he looked out to the main doors, and the little frown disappeared. "What are you doing here, Jim?"

Kirk frowned. "I thought you had a date tonight."

"I do," McCoy said, grinning.

Chapel looked at him. "You do?" She was sure she'd heard him making plans with Spock.

"Yes. I do." He stalked off.

"So, hi." Kirk sounded nervous.

She smiled up at him. "Hi."

He sat--almost plopped--down in her chair. "Do you like Beethoven?"

"Wow, that's a popular question."

"What?"

"I love Beethoven. Why?" But she could guess why. And she was going to kill Len and Spock.

"I have tickets to a concert tonight."

"Spock's busy?"

He had the grace to look embarrassed. "Well, yes."

"And Len has his big date." Spying on the two of them with Spock, probably.

"So he says." Kirk looked at her expectantly.

"Are you asking me to go with you?"

He started to laugh. "I guess I didn't really get to that part, huh?"

"No. And you're supposed to be the big ladies' man?"

"I generally am." He grinned, showing her just how brightly he could turn on the charm. "But this is uncharted territory."

"I do seem to remember a 'no dating your crew' policy. Or is this not a date?" She was going to be very embarrassed if it wasn't.

"No, it is." He sat down. "You're medical. Independent."

"I'm still your crew."

"I'm attempting to come up with a creative caveat. You're not helping."

"You're right. We're very independent here in medical. Barely crew at all." She grinned at him, laughed at the way he glared at her. "So, umm, why?"

"Are you going to say yes? Because I refuse to answer until I know you're in."

"I'm in. Now why?"

"I like you." His smile was very soft. "And I find myself wanting to come up with caveats. So that must mean something."

"Must it?" She was smiling, trying to let him know that she was suddenly a huge fan of caveats.

He nodded, and his eyes met hers, and for a moment she felt a surge of pure connection.

"I have a debrief when we first get in," he said as he stood. "I'll meet you at the bar outside the auditorium?"

"Sounds good." She smiled as he walked away.

Len had the grace to wait for Kirk to leave sickbay before he sidled up to the door and said with a huge grin, "So, big plans tonight?"

"You two are in such trouble."

"What? Why?" His attempt to sound innocent was not working.

"You have a date, my ass. You and Spock are--"

"I'll have you know that Spock has an experiment he doesn't feel like leaving, and I really do have a date. Besides"--his eyes grew very soft--"it won't hurt you or Jim to have a little fun."

"Two big yentas." She pretended to glare at him before going back to work.

His only reaction was a deep, satisfied chuckle.

-------------

The bar was crowded, and Chapel sat with Sulu and Lieutenant Jamison and waited for Kirk to show up.

"So I heard Commander Wainwright left." Sulu did not sound broken up.

"He was nice." Jamison laughed at his expression. "Well, he was nice to me." Then she glanced at Chapel. "Did you know him?"

"You could say that." Chapel managed to grin. A few months ago, she'd have never believed she'd be smiling in this type of situation.

"Did you like him?" Jamison was young and pretty and still had stars in her eyes.

Chapel decided to keep the story simple. "Yeah. I did."

Sulu shot her a look but didn't contradict her. "The captain's here."

She hadn't actually told him who she was waiting for.

"And coming this way."

Kirk grinned at them all. "Crowded in here." His smile changed a little when he looked at her. "Sorry to have kept you waiting."

"No problem. I was in good company." She had trouble not laughing. She thought Sulu's eyebrows were going to disappear into his hair. "You know Karen Jamison?"

"Lieutenant." Kirk gave her his best grin. "How are you finding the Enterprise?"

She blushed prettily. "She's everything I heard."

"Well, glad to have you aboard." He was urging Chapel up, his hand on her arm where the other two couldn't see. "If you'll excuse us?"

"Enjoy the concert, sir."

"You, too." He took her elbow, guiding her out of the bar and around the side of the auditorium.

"Isn't the entrance back there?"

"I have really good tickets. Captain's privilege and all that." He stopped and spoke softly to a man guarding a private lift, then the man stepped aside and let them on.

It went up one floor, and she followed Kirk off and around a long corridor with curtained doorways on the inside wall. "My, my. Didn't realize we were doing this up in style."

"Hey, when I ask a lady out on a date..." He held open a curtain, motioned her under his arm and into a box with a perfect view of the stage. In the back, there was a bottle of champagne on ice and some pricy hors d'oeuvres.

"Yeah, but don't you usually bring Spock or Len?"

"Don't start with me." He mock glared at her as he opened the champagne. "Or there'll be no bubbly for you."

She pretended to seal her lips.

"That's better." He handed her a glass, raised his own. "To...different company."

She laughed. "You can't do better than that?"

"I can, but the night is young."

"Pass the caviar, then. That is caviar, right?"

"It damn well better be." He laughed softly, clinked his glass against hers.

She spread some caviar on a cracker and took a long moment to savor it. "So, do you always live this large?"

"I may have splurged, once I knew it was you coming with me." His grin was adorable.

"Lucky me." Winking at him, she went in for more caviar.

He watched her with an indulgent smile, then helped himself to some baked brie.

"You know John left the ship?" It was a stupid question. There was probably no crew change on his ship he didn't know about. But she needed to get it out there.

"I saw. Wasn't my doing."

"I know."

"I can't say I was sorry to see him go." He met her eyes. "Were you?"

"No. Not sorry. Not happy. I'm over him."

"Good." He lifted his glass to her. "To moving on." Then he grimaced. "Okay, that makes me sound like rebound guy. And I don't like that idea."

She laughed. "To new beginnings."

"Very nice." He drank, and she drank, and by the time the orchestra started tuning up, the bottle was nearly dead and the food long since cleared by the steward.

He moved to the front of the box, let her pick the seat she wanted, and waved to someone across the way. Chapel was surprised to see so many Federation brass at the concert. Then she realized they could all see her, too. With Kirk.

"We're on display, sir."

"Yes, we are. And don't you think you should call me Jim?"

She looked over at him. "I probably should."

"I think so." His grin was sweet. "Try it out."

"How's this, Jim?"

"Sounds good." Leaning back into his chair, he took a deep breath. "It's nice to have privileges."

"You'll get no argument from me." She settled into the cushy chair--it was much more comfortable than the ones below looked--and watched the crowd and the others in the box.

He closed his eyes, seemed to be dozing, but she had a feeling he was just enjoying the chance to relax. She thought it was a compliment to her, that he could let down that way. Either that or she was boring the shit out of him.

"Jim?"

"Hmm?"

"You okay?"

"Just enjoying the moment."

So, not bored. Good. "You do realize Len and Spock set us up?"

"Yep." He looked over at her with a lazy head turn, gave her a slow, seductive grin. "I let them think I didn't, though."

"You don't mind?"

"Do you?"

She realized he'd moved his hand; it sat on the armrest next to hers. Lonely. Cold, maybe.

She slid her hand over and saw him smile when they made contact. Then the lights dimmed, and the music started, and he turned his hand so their fingers were clasped. He gave a gentle squeeze once, then seemed to be transfixed by the music, lost to it. She leaned back in the chair and let the sound flow over her, brought back to reality every now and then by the feel of his hand on hers, the sense of him tapping his foot with the music, or swaying slightly in the chair to the slower melodies.

Then it was over and the lights came back on and they had to let go to applaud.

Her hand felt very cold after the warmth of his.

"Ready to go?" When she nodded, he took her arm and led her down some stairs that took them to the busy concourse on the Starbase. "Hungry?"

"A little." They walked around the main level until she saw a place that was selling kebabs and pulled him to that. "My treat."

"You don't have to."

"I want to."

Smiling, he let her order for them both. They ate in companionable silence, offering food to the other, laughing over silly things.

"This is nice," he said as they walked back to the transporter room. He bumped up against her as they walked, a friendly sort of nudge. Once back on the ship, he walked her to her quarters. "Thank you for coming with me."

"Thanks for asking me." Reaching out, she touched his cheek for a moment. "I had fun."

"So did I."

"I should probably get inside." She had her foot in the door, keeping it open as it bumped against her leg.

"You probably should." He eyed the inside of her quarters. Then he leaned in, giving her a quick but firm kiss on the lips. "Hold that thought."

"What thought?" She stuck her tongue out at him.

"Oh, that's mature." He pushed her into her room. "Go to bed, Doctor."

"Aye-aye, sir." Watching him walk away, she very much wished she didn't have to go to bed alone.

He glanced back. "Inside. Now."

She was pretty sure the sound she made as she ducked into her quarters qualified as a giggle. She couldn't remember the last time she'd done that.

-------------------

The mess was full and noisy with people grabbing breakfast before shift change. Chapel heard snatches of conversation from all directions.

"Doctor." Jim sidled up next to her, eying the empty chair across from her. "You were saving that for me, weren't you?" He didn't wait for an answer, just took it.

"Actually, I was saving it for someone else."

"A handsome someone else?" His voice was mock serious.

"Yes."

He looked like he was about to laugh. "Handsomer than I am?"

"Uh, no." She couldn't keep a straight face anymore. Chuckled softly and saw his expression change, become...tender.

"How'd you sleep?" he asked.

"Alone." She hoped their conversation wasn't being picked up by anyone, pitched her voice lower. "You?"

"I found myself distracted." He was talking softly, too. "Waiting builds character. Isn't that what they say?"

"They being people who've never had the it we're waiting for?"

"Damn good point." He was grinning, the sunny look that was light years away from John's even though, when she first met John, she'd thought they were similar. "So, Chris, are you saying you don't want to wait?"

"Maybe I am." She knew her eyes were sparkling. "If I don't wait, will I be less of a challenge?"

He frowned and shifted in his seat, moving forward. "Do you think I need a challenge?"

"That was a joke."

"My question wasn't. Do you think I need that to be...happy?"

She could tell he wanted a straight answer. Hated that she'd gone down this road. "I don't know."