DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are
the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2007 by Djinn. This
story is Rated R.
The Path Not
Taken
by Djinn
Kirk woke with a start and
tried to open his eyes. The world
remained black, and for a moment he panicked until he realized he was
blindfolded.
"Somebody's
awake." A male voice. Unfamiliar.
"Yes, I can
see." Female this time. And very familiar...but why?
He struggled in his chair,
stopped as soon as he felt the restraints holding him start to chafe.
"Nice try,
Captain." Her voice, low,
husky. So damn familiar.
"Why did we even bring
him back here? We should have killed
him." A male again, only different.
Kirk listened hard, for
sounds of movement, activity--anything that might tell him how many people were
in the room.
"It's no wonder our
mission went tits up with braintrusts like you
running the show." The woman
laughed, and the laugh wasn't familiar.
It was mocking and didn't, for some reason, go with her oh-so-familiar
voice.
"Cartwright knew
that--"
"Yeah, and look where he
ended up." She seemed to be pacing
in front of Kirk.
He tried to move his hands
carefully, checking out the restraints and praying that no one was standing
behind him. His head hurt--probably from
being clocked while he'd been lurking outside the meeting house Starfleet had
said was a hiding place for what was left of Cartwright's group. The group that had nearly destroyed
everything--that had gotten Kirk and McCoy sent to Rura Penthe.
His Starfleet contact hadn't
meant for him to try to take the place on his own, but he'd been so sure he
could handle this without any backup. When
the hell would he learn to wait for help?
A hand touched down on his
shoulder, and he jumped in reaction but didn't go far with the restraints
holding him down.
"Worried,
Captain?" Suddenly the blindfold
was pulled off and he squinted madly in the too-bright light.
"Are you nuts?" A man moved closer. "Now we have no choice but to kill
him."
"You are so limited in
imagination." She leaned in,
stroked Kirk's hair. "What we have
here is a new ally."
He opened his eyes gingerly,
could see without pain since she was blocking most of the light. She--someone he knew. "Chapel?"
"Hello, sir." Her voice held the same mocking tone. "Trust you to be the one to find
us."
"Starfleet knows about
this house. I didn't come alone."
She raised one eyebrow, an
eerie counterpart to how Spock always did it.
"Yes, you did. It would be
out of character for you to wait."
She laughed softly. "And
we're not at that house anymore. We've
known Starfleet found out about it, and we kept someone on lookout to see who
they'd send. How'd we get so lucky? The hero of the galaxy just for
us."
There was something so cold
in her eyes as she looked down at him, so different than the Chapel he'd
known. "Valeris never mentioned
you."
"Valeris didn't know
about me. Only Cartwright did. I was his secret weapon." She smiled easily. "Even my compatriots here didn't know I
was part of it. My role was to clean up
if things went bad. I can't tell you how
often I prayed I'd never be needed. You
have no idea what a mess you've made, what chances you've thrown away by making
peace with those Klingon animals."
"My heart's breaking for
you and your cause, Chapel." He
studied her, saw her fists clench.
"You're as crazy as Matt was."
"Don't say his
name. You don't get to say his
name." She leaned in, grabbing his
hair, yanking back his head. "He
was your friend and you let him be sent to that hell."
"I was returning the
favor." He'd actually spoken
against extradition, but it had been in closed session, and he didn't feel like
enlightening Chapel. It would be too
much like pleading for his life.
He met her eyes: his life was
forfeit--he could see that in their cold, blue depths.
"Enough talk," one
of the men said, pulling out a disruptor.
They'd use Klingon weapons, naturally, even if they hated the people
who'd made them.
"We have another
way." Chapel's smile made Kirk's
hackles rise. "Go get the memory
wiper."
"You have got to be
kidding. We can't just leave him
wandering around with no memory. My way
will leave no trace." He waved his
disruptor around.
"Your way will get us
all killed," another man said, one who was staring at Chapel in a way that
indicated more than general interest.
"What are you thinking?" he asked her.
Kirk noticed they were all being
careful not to use names around him.
"I don't plan to leave
him anywhere." She giggled and it
was the single, scariest sound Kirk had ever heard. "Meet our newest recruit to the
cause." She patted him on the head
like a dog. "James 'T for Tabula Rasa' Kirk."
"No way." But there was grudging admiration in the
other man's voice, and Kirk began to struggle.
Chapel ignored him, reached
for the machine on a wheeled cart that another of the men had pushed into the
room and wheeled it over to Kirk. She
hooked him up quickly, then stood in front of him, yanking his chin up
again. "Jim, this is going to
hurt." Her tone hadn't changed, but
there was something different in her expression--the others probably couldn't
see it the way she was standing.
And...Jim? She'd never in her life called him Jim.
"Go to hell," he
said, because it seemed like the right thing to say, and he saw her eyes
brighten, not in a "Boy, am I going to hurt you way" but more a
"Thank God, you get it" way.
"No one will think badly
of you if you scream. This will probably
be the worst pain you'll ever feel, but it'll be over quickly--much more
quickly than Cartwright's suffering will be." She was staring at him intently, her brows
pulled down into a frown, and it wasn't until he gave her a tiny little nod
that she said, "Ready for your last moment as the savior of the
Federation?"
"You bitch,
I--"
She hit the switch.
There was no pain, but he
screamed as if there was. He tried to
remember all the times he'd been tortured, had his mind raked and sifted and
otherwise torn apart, and he hoped the memories were lending credence to the
sounds he was making. He didn't stop
screaming until she hit the switch again.
He slumped in his chair, head
hung, eyes closed, unsure if he should be unconscious or not.
"Give him a minute to
wake up."
He kept his eyes closed.
"He'll be
disoriented." She laughed meanly
again, the sound still a damned scary one.
Who knew she was such a good actress?
Then she touched his chin, gently this time, her voice changing as she
shook him and said, "Jim? Jim, wake
up?"
He tried to make it real,
tried to play it like a man who didn't know where the hell he was--who the hell
he was. "What...?"
"It's all right
now. We've got you." Her voice was the sweet one of old, and he
found himself relaxing just hearing it.
Her eyes shone with the compassion he'd always associated with her.
"Who are you?" He looked around the room, trying to keep up
with her in the acting against type department.
"Who...am I?"
"You're Jim. My Jim."
She undid his restraints.
"I've been so worried about you." Then she was kissing him, and he decided the
best thing to do would be to kiss her back.
If there hadn't been a bunch
of men with disruptors ready to fire at his first wrong move, he would have
really enjoyed the kiss. She definitely
knew how to use her lips.
When she pulled away, he
said, "Who are you?"
"I'm Chris. Don't you remember me?"
He shook his head. Then he looked at the man who hadn't wanted
to shoot him. "Do I know you?"
"Yeah," the man
said, but sort of hesitantly.
"We're friends."
"Friends." Kirk looked up at Chapel, tried to seem
helpless. "I don't remember any of
you."
"It's all right. We're all friends. I'll fill in the blanks."
Kirk eyed the disruptor in
the hand of the other man. "If
we're friends, why is he aiming that at me?"
The man holstered it. "Sorry, man. It's just...we weren't sure you'd make
it."
Chapel nodded. "You were acting wild, dangerous. You tried to hurt me. It's why we had you restrained."
"I'm sorry." He touched her cheek. "I didn't mean to..."
"It's all right. I know you'd never hurt me
deliberately." She kissed him
again. "Are you tired?"
He thought the right answer
was probably yes, so he nodded. She
smiled gently at him, and led him off down the hall and into a room at the
end. Before he could say anything, she
casually rubbed her ear, as if it itched.
The room was bugged? Didn't they trust her?
He rubbed at his eye and she
nodded. So, video, too.
"I'm sorry if I hurt
you," he said, pulling her close.
In her ear, he whispered, "What the hell?"
She kissed him again,
shutting him up, her tongue working against his, her body pressed tightly to
him. He felt himself responding.
"I know you're tired,"
she murmured, in between kisses.
"But you've been gone so long.
I was afraid I'd never see you again."
She pulled him to the bed and
yanked back the covers, then stripped off his clothes and her own. There was nothing seductive in the movements. If he had been a man with no memory trying to
figure out their relationship, this was the way a woman would act who'd had
you, who'd missed you, who wanted you.
No preliminaries needed. Just
fall into bed and kiss and touch and--
They were really going to do
this. He felt her hand on him, saw her
smile at him as she tightened her grip and made him groan. Pulling her closer, he let his body--one part
in particular--have its way. She kissed
him frantically and it occurred to him that she was probably afraid, that his
presence had really screwed things up for her--whatever the hell she was doing
here.
They finally lay quietly and she smiled at him tenderly. "Do you remember me now?"
"No." He tried to make it sound like his heart was
breaking. "But I wish I did."
"Oh, Jim. I love you so. I'm so sorry we let you go out alone. We should have come with you."
He had no clue what she was
talking about, but then neither would memory-wiped Jim, so he just stared at
her and waited for more.
"We won't do that
again. I know you said you wanted to do
it. That you had a better chance of
making it. But I won't lose you. Not even for the cause." She touched his forehead. "You remember the cause?"
He shook his head.
"I'll remind you. But now you need to sleep." She stroked his hair until he closed his eyes
and pretended to sleep.
Trouble was, he was truly
tired and his head hurt--sleep sounded good.
"Headache," he murmured.
"I'll get
something." She was gone for a
moment, then back with an old-fashioned hypospray she held against his
arm. "Best we can get on the black
market." She leaned down and kissed
him on the cheek, whispering, "Go to sleep, Jim, it's all right."
The medicine was taking away
his pain but making him even sleepier. He decided to do what she said and
closed his eyes.
"I love you," she
said, and he smiled at how sweet she sounded.
For a moment, he wished it
were true.
---------------------
Chapel waited until Kirk had
fallen asleep, then strode back into the room.
Rodney was the first on her
case. "What the hell,
Commander?"
"No ranks. We agreed."
He looked chastened. And also pissed. He'd been the one falling into bed with her
until Kirk had come along; Rodney had wanted to sleep with her back in Emergency
Ops but she'd resisted--or been otherwise occupied with Cartwright.
"I'd like a word with
Christine." Rodney waited until the
other men got up grumbling and left the room.
"Wiping his memory, I get.
But fucking him?"
She threw her hair back, stared
him down. "Think with your head,
not with your dick. He's a passionate
man. If he thinks he's in love with me,
he'll die for me--and for whatever I believe in. Get it?"
"You did a pretty good
job in there of convincing him."
"So you are monitoring
me." She hadn't been a hundred
percent sure if they'd been watching her or not since she'd come on board.
He looked angry that he'd
blown it. And he should. Mistakes like that were what brought down a
conspiracy. To Starfleet's great relief.
"You were screwing me,
Rodney? In my bed and you didn't trust
me?"
He shrugged. "Maybe I was trying to cement your
loyalties."
"That's good. Keep trying.
Only with him, not with me."
She laughed at his look. "I
don't mean with sex. Just...be a little
nicer the next time you tell Kirk that you're his friend. Your acting lacks somewhat in the credibility
department."
She moved closer to him,
touching the back of his neck, at the nape, running her fingers across the
short hair the way he liked. "Show
me the monitors? I want to see what he's
doing."
He took her into the room
they used to store weapons, moved a cart aside and then a panel behind it. It slid back to show another room, small but
full of all kinds of equipment, some of which she recognized and more that she
didn't. He pointed to the screen where
Kirk lay sleeping. He looked handsome
and very worn out as he lay in her bed.
A bed she'd shared with the traitor behind her for far too long.
"Was he good?"
Rodney whispered in her ears, his hands tightening on her.
"He was
great." She winced as his fingers
dug into her. "Better than
great." More pressure. "Best I ever had, in fact."
Rodney pushed her away. "Kirk was right. You are a bitch."
She gave him the smile that
she'd never had much call to use before.
She knew it was an evil look--truth be told, she sort of enjoyed the new
look. "You like me that way. And so did the old man." She let an eyebrow rise the way she'd learned
to do when her crush over Spock had been in full swing.
"You were with Cartwright,
too?"
"Why do you think he
picked me as his secret weapon?"
She moved closer to Rodney, didn't like the smell of him much, wanted to
tell him that, but needed him on her side--for now. "The cause was everything to Matt. And it's everything to me. And I will screw whoever I have to in order
to make his dreams come true. And if you
have a problem with that, then you aren't a true believer."
"I just...I like you, is
all." He looked down. "You're special."
"And I'm also one of the
only women here. I can do the math,
baby." She turned to look at
Kirk. "I've got to have some me
time before I face him again."
"Okay." He started to follow her.
"Me time, Rodney. Not us time."
He looked down. "I want to go with you."
"Because you still don't
trust me?"
"Because I love
you." He looked like he meant
it. The fool.
"I'll talk to you
later. I'll be busy with him
now." She nodded toward the
monitors. "I won't have much time
for you."
He looked away, jaw tight.
"I'll make it up to you
baby. You'll get what's coming to you, I
promise."
He met her eyes, and she let
hers go soft--but only for a moment. He
was like a puppy bouncing around her for more.
"You promise?"
"I said so, didn't
I?" She blew him a kiss and headed
somewhere that didn't have him or Kirk in it.
She needed to think.
-----------------
Kirk woke to the feeling of
someone climbing into bed with him, the slide of flesh against his, the
sensation of hair falling over his chest.
"Chris?"
"Who else were you
expecting, Mister Memory Loss?" She
kissed him softly, sweetly, and he knew it was just an act, but he still felt
moved by it. Or maybe he just felt safe
in her arms. Maybe she felt the same way
and that's why she was doing it.
"Just you," he murmured
as he pushed her to her back and made love to her.
She was smiling a beautifully
seductive smile, her head thrown back enough to expose her neck to his kisses,
her moans spurring him on. He buried his
head in her hair, heard her whisper in his ear, "You're so damn
good."
"I don't remember
missing this, but I think I have been."
He smiled, hoped she got the message.
That this was nice. That under other
circumstances...
"I know, Jim. I know."
She clutched him to her, the way a woman would who'd lost her man and
then got him back--even damaged. "I
love you."
"I love you,
too." He didn't mean it, but he
wanted to, and he imagined a Jim with no memory would want to also.
"Do you feel
stronger?"
He nodded, and it wasn't a
lie. The sleep had done him good.
"Let's go for a walk,
then." She pulled him out of bed,
showing no discomfort with being nude in front of him, laughing as he pulled
her to him and kissed her again. He was
putting on a good show for the cameras--he was doing it for himself, too. She felt terrific in his arms and, God help
him, part of him was enjoying this.
They showered together, playful--or as playful as was appropriate under the
circumstances and under possible surveillance.
He took her again in the shower, and she stroked his face and murmured
things that should have been sappy but managed not to be. He met her eyes, saw something real in them.
"Have you always loved
me?" It seemed a reasonable
question from a man with no memory.
"Not always. But for a long time now." She leaned into him. "Since you helped me find Roger. Remember?"
He almost nodded, remembered
to shake his head at the last minute.
"You were kind to
me. And I was with you when your wife
died."
"I was
married?" For such a short
time. To that beautiful woman who'd
never known the real Kirk.
Chris nodded. "It didn't last." She sighed.
"Our lives crossed so many times.
We were in each other's orbits for a long time, but it took forever for
us to do this, to realize what we meant to one another." There was the lie she was telling Jim-with-no-memory
in her voice, but in her eyes, there was truth.
She loved him?
"I'm glad. I'm glad we realized before it was too
late." He pulled her close,
murmured her name as the hot water splashed down on them both and she ran the
soapy cloth over his back. The smell of
spices and herbs would last forever in his memory, the feel of her body, the
touch of her breasts, her hips, her leg as she wrapped it around his.
She finally turned the water
off, and they got out and pulled their clothes on. Taking his hand, she led him
to the living room, waving off the man who'd been watching her with such
interest. "We're taking a
walk. Jim needs some exercise."
If the man had been the one
on surveillance duty, he had to know that Kirk was getting plenty of
exercise. From the expression on his
face, he knew. And he wasn't happy about
it. Kirk resolved to watch him closely.
As soon as they were
outdoors, Chapel seemed to relax, but she didn't say anything, just swung his
arm and smiled at him until they reached a small garden in the back. "I'm sorry if I've been forward,"
she said, and looked down, suddenly shy.
"Do I appear to have
minded?"
She laughed gently. "No."
"Then don't
apologize. I'm just glad you didn't wipe
my mind."
"I'm just glad you're a
quick study. You're doing great, by the
way, at playing an amnesiac."
"Thanks." He pulled her further away from the
house. "Why are you here?"
"You didn't know I'd be
here? I was a surprise?"
"I knew Starfleet had an
informant inside what was left of the conspiracy. The messages we've gotten, they had signs of
being from someone on the inside--frankly, I probably should have seen it: they
had Emergency Ops earmarks. But with
Matt heading it up, I figured it was just one of his people who'd changed their
mind about continuing this. I had no
idea it was you feeding us that information."
"I was planted."
"So I gather. As far as I knew you were on extended leave." Not that he'd paid that much attention, just
noticed she wasn't in Ops.
"That's good. Safer if my name is held close. Rodney--the one who wanted to know where we
were going--is ex ops. I'll have to be
more careful in the future--he's going to see what you saw. I can't believe he didn't see it. Stupid.
Very stupid." She seemed
angry, with herself, no doubt--she'd always been so hard on herself.
He touched her cheek, brought
her back to the here and now. "Rodney
isn't happy I'm here."
"He had that pillow
before you did."
"And wants it back from
the look of it."
"Yeah." She looked down, again seemed
embarrassed. "I must seem quite the
little slut." Sighing, she met his
eyes. "I joined them so late. I needed to establish credibility
quickly. Rodney was accepted and he's
always wanted me. I don't know why he
did but--"
He stopped her from putting
herself down with a kiss that went on forever.
He wanted to push her to the soft ground, to bury himself inside her
again. He also wanted to grab her and
make a mad dash for freedom. Only he
didn't know where they were, much less which way was the right way to run. "How do we get out of here, Chris?"
"Leave it to me. For now, we need to play this their
way." She took his arm, walked with
him again, away from the house, into the tall grass that lined the
property. "How much does Starfleet
know? I've tried to get information to
them, but I think the transmissions aren't getting through."
"We knew about the
house."
"But the others know
that. They just don't know how you knew
about it."
"I won't tell
them." He had to kiss her; she
looked so worried.
"Tell me something else
has gotten out. You've read the files
Starfleet has, right?"
He nodded. "The information they have is mostly
conjecture. The location of the house was
the only solid thing of late--and it's dated.
Other than a few garbled transmissions that Spock thought looked jammed
at the source."
"At the source? He could tell that?"
"Something about the
signature of the encryption."
"So the messages haven't
gotten through." She met his
eyes. "Starfleet knows
nothing."
"Less than. They actually thought the trail was cold on
the house. I came out because I was in
the neighborhood--this wasn't an actual mission."
"I figured. I was surprised you'd chance it."
He looked down. "I may have been bored." Bored, antsy, and not happy to be handing
over the Enterprise, even a new one, to that clod Harriman in a few weeks.
"A desk again?"
He nodded. "It'll be the death of me."
She kissed him suddenly,
holding him tightly even when she pulled away and said, "Don't say
that."
He smoothed her hair
back. It felt silky against his
skin. "Have you really always
cared?"
"Yes."
"What about Spock?"
"You think a girl can't
have two impossible crushes?" She
traced his lips with her finger.
"If anyone's watching from the house, we're really making this look
good."
"Yes, we are, aren't
we?" He captured her finger between
his teeth and licked the tip.
She giggled, and it was light
years from the horrible giggle of earlier.
"Chris, this doesn't
have to be impossible. You're on Earth;
I'm on Earth. Once we get out of
here..."
Her smile was luminous. He did push her down to the ground, then, and
made love to her, safely hidden by the tall grass from any prying eyes in the
house.
--------------
Chapel settled Jim in front
of the old-fashioned terminal on her desk; he'd be ostensibly "catching
up" on everything that was now gone.
She leaned down, kissed him deeply, as passionately as she could. Then she left him.
And locked the door behind
her.
The others were sitting in
the living room, some looked up at her approach. She saw that Lynette and Maria had joined
them--back from their mission, and successfully by the warmth of Maria's smile
when Chapel walked in. The men seemed
mighty happy to have more women among them.
Rodney gave her a mournful
smile, shaking his head but otherwise not commenting.
"I have a
confession," she said.
"You've been fucking the
great Kirk like there's no tomorrow?"
Rodney's not commenting phase was obviously over.
"Well, there's
that. But no, that wasn't my big
news." She walked over to Dan, took
the disruptor from him, and checked the energy reading--fully charged. "We have a traitor among us."
"And you know this
how?" Lynette had never liked
Chapel. But it was a good question.
"I didn't mindwipe Kirk."
There was a lot of talking,
Dan grabbed the weapon back, and Rodney was on his feet--but his face had gone
white.
"The signals that
Starfleet is getting from our...mole, shall we call him? Those signals are bearing an Emergency Ops
signature. Now, other than Rodney and
me, all the ops folks were rounded up with Matt and West and Valeris."
Rodney started to get up; Dan
pointed the disruptor at him.
Chapel shook her head at
Rodney, like he was a bad little boy. "Sit
down, lover."
Rodney sat.
"When Matt put me in
charge of phase two, he put me in charge of everything. And that includes making sure that we're
ready for what's to come." She
looked around, met and held everyone's eyes--everyone except Rodney. "The future is not written. We've lost this battle but the war, who
knows? It could be ours. It might not be. But the future is out there, waiting for us,
and Starfleet knows nothing about who we are or how many of us there are." She glanced at Maria. "Your jamming protocols are working
perfectly."
Maria gave her a broad grin.
Rodney went even whiter.
"They know about the meeting
house, sweetie. That's all that you
managed to get through. As I'd hoped
when Maria and I came up with a way to flood this whole area with something
that would jam your signal." She
could feel her smile upping into the evil range again, and it felt good. "You should have realized something was
wrong, traitor. You should have run
while you had the chance."
He looked up at her. "You've suspected me. This whole time?"
She nodded.
"And you lured Kirk into
this...how?"
"I didn't lure him. He stumbled into this. And he'll stumble back out of it
tomorrow. We can't afford to keep him
out of commission for too long, not when he has a very well publicized launch
to make."
"You can't let him go
now," Dan said. "He'll
tell."
"The mindwiper
can be selective. Trust me, I can make
him forget the last two days ever happened and replace them with very nice
R&R memories. I think blonde twins
would be a nice touch, don't you?"
She shared a grin with Lynette, who looked like she might finally warm
up. "We need Kirk alive."
"What about
him?" Dan looked at Rodney. "Do we need him?"
"We really
don't." Chapel took the
disruptor. "Rodney met with an
accident on leave. Fell into a volcano
while mountain climbing on Pele. His
body was never found."
"Christine." Rodney was rising, hands out to her. "I love you."
"Yeah. I know."
She fired, and he disappeared without even a scream. She looked around again as she handed the
disruptor back to Dan. "No one
hurts Kirk. Am I understood?"
There were nods around the
room.
"This is the last time
we meet like this. As far as the
Federation is concerned, we'll have just disappeared. But you all know the code words and channels
to use if you see an opportunity. And
you all know where I'll be." She
pulled her shirt down, the way she'd be pulling down her uniform when she
reported for her new assignment. Her
promotion. Right into the belly of the
beast: Fleet Operations. Exec to the Admiral in charge.
She expected to make Captain
without ever commanding a ship. Officers
like her were despised by those who'd climbed up the traditional way with the
stars at their backs.
She really didn't care what anyone thought of her.
She felt a lump, deep in her
gut. Well, there was one man's opinion
she did care about. And he was safely
locked away from the truth.
"I'll take care of Kirk. The rest of you, good luck and remember who's
died for this." And who was
dying. Word on Matt was bad. Rura Penthe was not being as kind to him as
it had been to Jim and Len.
She went back in for
Jim. To finish this.
---------------
Kirk looked up from the
terminal in frustration. It was telling
him nothing and didn't seem to be connected to anything they could use to get a
signal out.
He heard the sound of the
door unlocking--Chris had locked him in?--and turned.
"Hi," she said, her
voice shaky.
"Are you all
right?"
"I'm fine." She sat down on the bed, took a deep
breath. "I need you."
"Chris, what's
happened?" It was hard to pretend
he didn't know what was going on. She
looked so...shaken.
"Please. Hold me?"
He moved to her, sitting on
the bed next to her and pulling her tight.
"I think I loved you
more than Spock, Jim. I want you to know
that. He was always the unattainable
one. You...I think you and I might have
worked if we'd ever given it a chance.
It might have...changed things for me."
He frowned. "Chris..."
"They can't hear
us. They're all gone for a while. We have right now to just be...us."
"Let's get out of here,
then."
"They left me here to
guard you, but they still don't trust me.
There's a forcefield on all the entrances,
windows, ducts. We're
trapped." She took a deep breath.
"Are you
compromised?"
"No. They'd have just killed me if they thought I
was the traitor."
He nodded. She was right. They were probably just being careful.
"I've never forgotten
what you did for me in those caves. How
kind you were. And later, when I wanted
to go to med school. You never stopped
supporting me."
He smiled but tried to pull
her up. "Chris, this walk through memory lane can wait. There has to be a way out of here."
She didn't seem to be
listening. "I love you. I've always loved you." Finally, she let him pull her up, followed
him listlessly to the front room. The mindwiper sat in the corner, near the window, and he eyed
it with distaste as he tried to see if anyone had stayed back.
He felt her hands on his
shoulders, smiled and said, "Chris, not now."
Then there was the hiss of a
hypospray and he felt his muscles stop working.
"What?" he tried to say but nothing came out.
"I'm so sorry,
Jim." She was easing him into the
chair. "But I promise that you will
have wonderful memories of leave here, with two very beautiful girls."
She was crying as she
strapped the mindwiper onto him.
He tried to shake his head,
tried to say something--anything--but he couldn't move.
"You're going to forget
me. What we've shared. And that's good, because it will keep us both
safe."
She was part of this? God help him, she was part of this?
"I can tell you're
getting it. And I wish...I wish I was
the woman who would have saved you. Who
would have escaped with you and made a life with you." She kissed him. "And if I was more the woman you
probably think I am now, I'd seek you out when you return from the launch, and
I'd get this back. Being with you--it
was everything I ever wanted and more.
But I'm not that woman either, exactly.
Not someone who could live a lie with you, no matter how nice it might
be. I'm not sure who I am."
A traitor. She was a goddamned traitor.
"I hate that look. Your condemnation. I know that you truly believe I deserve it,
but I hate it." She leaned in and
kissed him.
He wanted to bite her, to
spit on her, to push her away. He could
do nothing except let her kiss him.
She fiddled with the mindwiper. "I
won't take all of your memories away.
Just the time you've spent with me."
He managed to make a noise, a
sort of grunting moan.
"Jim, don't." She was crying freely now, wiping at her
nose, and a noise escaped her. Not a
sob, not quite a wail, but a sound of pure pain.
She really loved him?
Then she hit the switch and
the world went black.
-------------------
"Captain
Kirk?" Chapel felt her heart speed
up at the sight of Jim.
"Chapel?" He was beaming at her. "Congratulations on the new
position."
"Thank you,
sir." She wondered if any part of
him was feeling what she was. She wanted
to take him into the nearest empty room and rip his clothes off. She wanted to kiss him and just talk to him,
too.
This was not good.
"Chapel?"
"It's still new. Getting used to it. You're on your way to the launch?"
He nodded, his smile fading.
"It won't be that
bad." She touched his hand, knew it
was stupid but couldn't stop herself.
"It will be that
bad." His look was resigned. As if he was handing over his wife to another
man and hated it but could do nothing about it.
"You're--you're here
now." She was stuttering. And where the hell was she going with
this?"
"Yeah. Stuck on land. Again.
It went so well the other times."
He shook his head. "Poor
Antonia found that out the hard way."
Antonia. That woman he'd left Starfleet for. That woman he'd later left to come back to
Starfleet.
"Maybe you can make it
work with her again?" The idea made
her want to throw up.
"No. Some chances don't come around again."
She nodded, trying not to show any relief.
This did not matter to her.
"Do you want to have
dinner?" he asked, his beautiful smile back. "When this is all over?"
"Yes." It was out before she could call it
back. Out before she could do what was
smart, not what her heart wanted to do.
This man was dangerous. This man was a threat to her cause.
His smile grew larger.
This man was as well placed in Starfleet as she was. This man would know things, things he might
tell her once their heads were safely on her pillows--or his.
"Yes, I'd love
that." The way she loved him. The way, for just a moment out of life, she'd
been something else for him, someone else.
A woman she'd left behind the day she'd joined Matt and his--their
cause.
"Then it's a
date." He pulled her to him,
holding her the way he had in that bedroom, fingers seeking the same handholds
by memory--or something deeper than memory.
He pulled back but didn't let her go.
"I'm sorry, this is a bit familiar, isn't it?"
"Don't be sorry. I like it." She made her voice as soft as it would
go. Not just to seduce him. Not just to reel him in. But because when she was with him, some part
of her could be good again. Could be his
Chris. Even if she would kill his Chris
in a heartbeat if it would further the mission.
He gave her shoulders a
squeeze, then let her go. "I'll see
you when I get back."
She nodded, watched him until
he was out of sight, and then went to start her new job.
Her new life.
She could smell his cologne
on her, knew he'd be smelling her perfume on himself. So primal.
So...perfect.
The future beckoned. She joined the others in the Fleet Operations
front office watching the preliminary coverage of the launch on the vid screens, and sat down to watch James T. Kirk make history
again.
FIN