DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2004 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
Right Side Out
Again (Inside Out Coda)
by Djinn
What if at the end of Inside Out, the beam out (and subsequent
attempts) hadn't worked, and Kirk and Chapel were stuck in that alternate
universe and left to figure out how to live in their doppler's
lives? In this story, Kirk has gone home
to Earth and Chapel stayed on the Carter with Spock and Kerr. This is about 4 weeks later.
Chapel stood at Kirk's door
nervously. He wasn't expecting her. Might be in there right now
enjoying a quiet dinner with someone else. She shouldn't just drop in on him, she knew
that. But she didn't really care.
She rang the chime.
The wait seemed endless. What if he wasn't there? Then he opened the door. His smile was immediate and lit up his face.
"Hi," she
said. "I was in the
neighborhood."
"Come in
then." He stepped aside, let her
pass. Then he looked into the hall. "Where are your boyfriends?"
"On
the Carter. I'm here alone."
"My
lucky day." He grinned again, led her into the living
room. "Can I get you
something?"
She looked over at the table
by an overstuffed leather chair. A glass
of amber liquid sat next to an old-fashioned book. "Still drinking Scotch?"
He nodded. "As I remember, you like
Scotch?"
She laughed. "You have a good memory."
"About some things, I
do." He poured her a glass. "To unexpected
visits."
They tapped the glasses, then he sat down in the chair. She settled into his couch. It was almost as comfortable as Spock's Deltan furniture on her Carter. She felt a pang for what she'd lost. The Spock in this universe didn't have the
same furniture.
"How are you settling
in?"
She shook her head. "I want to go home."
"I know." His voice was gentle. "Me too." He pointed to a lump of black fur she hadn't
noticed sitting on the windowsill.
"She'd like it if I went away and brought back the real
Kirk."
"You don't seem like a
cat person."
"I'm not. I don't think he was either. But according to the neighbor who feeds her
when I'm--he's gone, she just showed up one day and moved in. He was apparently smitten. I'm not so taken with her, which is good,
because she feels the same way." He
shot her a crooked grin, as if in surprise there was a female he couldn't
charm.
Chapel smiled. "It gets confusing, doesn't it? He and you, she and I. " She shook her head.
He nodded. "So much is the same. It makes it easier. But there are still days when I'm reminded that
this isn't where I belong."
"I know." Christine felt a pang, looked down as she
said, "I transferred off the Carter."
"What?"
She nodded. It was harder to talk about than she'd
expected.
"Chris,
why? They loved you."
She shook her head. "No they loved her. I was just the next best thing."
He stared at her with
concern. "I'm sorry. I thought things would work out for
you."
She took a long sip of the
Scotch; it burned all the way down.
"Things haven't been doing that lately."
There was an uncomfortable
silence.
Then he asked, "Did
you...with them?"
"Oh
yeah." She looked away. "I was okay until then. I should have been happy, but I was
miserable. Something inside me, I
guess. The fundamental difference
between her and me is that she would choose that for herself and I can't. And I can't be happy living her
life." She realized her hand was
trembling, set the glass down. "The
hell of it is that I know if she's with them both in my universe, she'll really
be with them both." She could feel
her expression turn sulky, resentful.
"She gets it all no matter which universe she's in."
"Maybe
not. Maybe they're different the same way you are
and won't want it?"
"Randall will hold
back. For a while. But Spock will jump at the chance. I know him too well by now. Spock might hope Randall would walk away and leave
me to him. And Randall would, if I did
that to him. But she'll be much more
persuasive. She already thinks it can
work. Because it did
work for her."
"But not for you. You didn't enjoy it?"
She rolled her eyes. "Of course I enjoyed it. That's not the point. Pleasure ends, Jim, and then you're left in
the middle of the night lying between two men you love and wondering how you
got there. And how the
hell you're going to get out."
He didn't say anything, just
sipped his Scotch and studied her.
"It's always sturm und drang with you."
"It does seem to
be." She shook her head. "I couldn't stay on the ship and not be
with them. It was too
uncomfortable. I did try to back off and
just be friends with them, but then I'd lose my resolve and for a little while
I'd be happy."
"Maybe in time you'd get
used to it?"
She'd thought that too. But each time she'd felt worse. "Enough about my
melodrama. Don't you have a
girlfriend?"
"I appear to have
lots. None of whom mean a damn to
me. Or him." He looked out the window. "I tried to find Antonia. She's married to someone else. I don't think she even knew who I
was." He set his glass down.
"I'm sorry. I know you love her."
"I do. I wonder if the other Kirk ended up in my
universe or in yours?" He looked over at her. At her shrug, he asked, "So what are you
going to do now?"
"I got a teaching
position at Starfleet Medical." She
felt restless, stood up and began to pace.
"I think it will be a good thing."
He nodded, watching her as
she moved back and forth across the carpet.
She looked over at him,
started to say something, then lost her nerve. His room seemed very small.
"Chris, stop
pacing." He got up, carried the
Scotch over to her. "Just say what
you want to say."
She shook her head. It was too hard to say. She'd put him out of her mind and heart for
so long. She'd buried him in her
memories. Now he was back and she felt
confused and guilty. She wanted to go
home. She wanted to be with her
Randall. To try to
rebuild a friendship with her Spock.
And she wanted this Kirk to
touch her. To kiss her
and never stop.
She turned away. "I should go."
He reached out, stopped
her. "Should you?"
She stared helplessly at him.
He dropped his hand and
dipped his forefinger into the Scotch.
"You don't have to go this time." He held his finger out to her, painting the
Scotch onto her lips, watched as she licked the Scotch off. Another crooked smile grew as he held the
Scotch out to her. "Make a choice,
Chris."
She didn't move.
"Choose me."
She felt as if she was
drowning as she dipped her finger in his drink, held it out for him. He slowly sucked it, pulling and licking and
igniting nerve endings she'd forgotten were in a finger.
She pulled away from him, sat
down on the couch quickly. "We
shouldn't."
"Why
the hell not?" He sat next to her, pulled her to him. "We're not going home, Chris. Admit it to yourself."
"Give up?"
He shook his head. "No.
Embrace the second chance you've been given." He brushed her hair back from her face. "The second chance we've been
given." He pushed her backwards. "Do you have any idea how hard it was
not to do this when we were on the Carter?" He pushed up her shirt, slowly nuzzled the
skin under her breasts.
She groaned, slid down the
smooth leather so that she could pull his face down to hers. His kisses were nothing like the sweet
embrace they'd shared on the Carter.
This was the dangerous, heady passion she remembered from their time
before.
He pulled her pants off
roughly, pushed the shirt over her head and tossed it aside. Her underwear followed, and she lay exposed
on the couch. He stared down at her, his
smile a mix of pure lust and utter sweetness.
He bent down, kissed her again, then began to
move down her body. His lips fell on her
neck, her collarbone, lingered on her breasts, sucking hard and making her cry
out. Then he moved lower.
She bucked as his tongue
touched her, as his fingers went deeper.
"God, Jim. So good. Please don't
stop."
He didn't stop. The pleasure crossed over her like
waves. She came down but he still didn't
stop. His touch was almost painful, her
body made extra sensitive by the pleasure he'd given her. She tried to squirm away, but he wouldn't let
her. His hands held her hips as she
cried out again. His tongue worked her
as the overstimulated sensation became unbearable. Just when she was about to push him away, he
moved off of her, kissing back up her body, stopping to stare down at her.
"I never forgot the way
you feel. The way you taste." He touched her lips. "The way you kiss me."
She pulled him down, kissed
him hard. Pushing his shirt off, then
the t-shirt he wore underneath, she moved on to his pants. She pushed them down his hips. He worked them the rest of the way off.
"I love you," she
said, as she pulled him down, pulled him into her. She arched, throwing her head back. She had not forgotten either what it felt
like to make love to him.
"Chris." He pushed her hair back as he thrust hard
into her. "Love you." He kissed her again, moving almost frantically
against her. "Need you." He cried out then, pushed himself against her
hard, his body shuddering.
He eased his weight down on
her, and she wrapped her arms around him.
Good, it was still so good between them.
He nestled against her, his
voice soft in her ear. "I hated leaving
you there with them. I wanted to drag
you away with me."
"You should have."
He kissed her. "No.
I think you needed to find out if that life was for you. And I needed to accept that I'm never going
to see Antonia again." He kissed
her again, his lips gentle now on hers.
"I love you."
She ran her hands down his
back, her fingers lightly touching down on his skin. He shivered.
"Bad?"
"God,
no. It's good." He smiled, eased himself off her and pulled
her up to cuddle against him.
The cat was glaring at
them.
"I think she's
jealous," Christine whispered.
"Let her be. I'm quite content."
He kissed her forehead, one
hand running over her back, the other finding her breast. She shivered as his fingers began to tease
her.
"Stay with me?" he
asked.
She nodded.
"I don't mean for the
night, Chris. Stay
with me. Stay here with me."
"Live with you?"
He nodded. "We've wasted so much time already. I don't want to lose a second more."
She smiled, touched at how
easily it came to him to be romantic.
How honest he was in it.
"You'll stay?" he
asked.
"I'll stay."
He smiled. "You bringing
her stuff?"
"I left most of it on
the Carter."
"Even the
goddesses?"
She smiled. "No, I brought those. All
except the Saraswati." Odd to think they'd never been together, that
he'd never given her that here.
"What happened to the Saraswati?"
She looked away. "I gave it to a friend."
He nodded, seemed to
understand perfectly. "We could go
to
"Sad memories were
better than no memories."
He smiled. "I never forgot about you. I tried to.
But I never could."
"Me either. I love you." As they kissed, her stomach rumbled.
He laughed. "Are you hungry?"
"I'm starved." She laughed too, suddenly a little
embarrassed to be sitting naked with him.
He kissed her on the
lips. A sure kiss, one
that promised more. Later. Then he rose
and walked into his bedroom, emerging with a robe that he slipped around her,
tying the belt loosely in front.
"That should be more comfortable."
He pulled his own clothes
back on.
"How come you're getting
dressed and I'm in a robe."
"I'm not done fixing it
yet." He pulled the robe back,
exposing her skin, hiding nothing from him.
Grinning wickedly, he said, "That's better. Gives me something to look
at while I'm making dinner."
He turned away and she said,
"Jim?"
He looked back at her.
"I presume this means
that when I cook, you wear the robe?"
The smile he turned on was
all the answer she'd ever need. In any universe.
FIN