DISCLAIMER: The Justice League of America
characters are the property of DC Comics. The story contents are the creation
and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2005 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
Redesign
by Djinn
It was the strangest of
times. Superheroes and their alter egos had
been split apart by some unknown force, and it wasn't clear if it was a
permanent state or not. But it had gone
on long enough that
He'd gone on with his life.
But he still felt
diminished. As if the better part of himself were up with the JLA, not living on terra
firma.
And he could tell Diana was
worried about him. She'd popped by
several times, and during the last visit, she'd tried to find out how he was
doing...and how he and Lois were doing--he thought she felt guilty that his
marriage had nearly broken apart after her bargain with that damned Alcmaeon. He hadn't wanted to talk about Lois; he'd
barely wanted to talk about his feelings.
And he hadn't wanted to stay on the roof, said he didn't like talking up
there anymore, that heights made him nervous.
He'd been lying. And he'd thought that Diana had known
it. But he hadn't felt like changing his
story, and she hadn't called him on it. She'd
probably thought that he'd been trying to get away from her for one of two reasons: she'd reminded him of a life he would never have,
or he hadn't wanted Lois to catch him talking to her.
He hadn't told her that there
was a third reason: that Lois wasn't
precisely thrilled with his new--less super--self. That he was lonely. That Diana was still as beautiful to him as
ever. That he wanted her. Even if he didn't think he was the man to do
anything about that. The man who could
was the big guy in the tights and cape up in the satellite. That man, that Superman, was free to be with
Diana now, and it hadn't escaped
They'd stayed away from each
other since that night. Until this evening, when Diana had called to check on him. On this, the latest of many nights when Lois
had decided to work late--running all over town on a story she'd told him she
didn't need help with.
"Come over," he'd said to Diana, not knowing he was going to say the
words until they were out of his mouth.
"Now?" she'd asked. She never dropped by at dinnertime. Things were too raw between her and Lois for
her to intrude on Lois's private time with him.
"Where?
Your apartment?"
"The roof," he'd
said. Lois wouldn't expect him to be
there if she did come home--not that he expected her to come home--and the
rooftop was a piece of his old life.
"All right," Diana
had said, but she'd sounded confused.
"I'll be right there."
He'd taken the stairs to the
roof, inflicting the feeling of being winded and a little sweaty on himself. He had a
body to die for, and he was completely out of shape, had never had to work for his
bulk. And before too much longer, his
body was going to cease being buff and turn into something much softer if he
didn't start working out.
Diana wasn't there when he
opened the door to the roof, so he sat near the edge of the building, watching
the lights of his amazing city wink on.
"Hi."
He didn't turn around. "Come sit." He heard her walking over, could feel the
rush of air as she sat quickly, then felt her knee pressed up against his own.
"You okay?" she
asked.
He didn't answer, just turned
to look at her. "I've missed
you."
"I've missed you
too."
He laughed,
the sound too human, too bitter. "Right. When you have super me?"
"I don't have him. He's not the kind of guy you have."
"No?"
"No." She reached over, took his hand in hers. "Why the roof? You said heights bothered you."
"I lied."
"Oh. Okay."
An awkward silence fell
between them, but she didn't let go and neither did he. Finally, he asked, "What's he
like?"
"Dedicated," she
answered without hesitation.
"Yeah. A real paragon."
He brushed some dust from his jeans.
"No, I mean
dedicated. As in
nothing else matters." She
smiled at him when he turned to look at her.
"As in...no personality."
"Really?"
She nodded.
"Hmmm." Suddenly, he
quit worrying about her and Super-dullard and began to worry about the uber Batman.
"And you and Bruce's alter ego?
How do you two get on?"
"Again. Not what you'd
call a fun guy to pal around with."
She met his eye. "Although
from what I hear, neither is Bruce."
"Yeah, I've heard that
too." He heard a lot as a
reporter. More than he'd been aware of
when he'd been Superman. He had more
access as just plain
"Bruce is kind of a jerk,"
she said softly, as if it was a betrayal.
"A really violent jerk."
He squeezed her hand. "Isn't that what you thought of him
before?"
"Not entirely."
"Oh? What else did you think about him?"
"Quit fishing. My relationship with him is my
business."
"So you admit you have a
relationship?" The teasing had
dropped out of his voice; he knew they were straying onto dangerous
ground. But it...bugged him. Or had bugged him.
Ever since Alcmaeon, something had changed between Bruce and Diana.
"Kal, don't."
He dropped her hand,
practically jerked away from her.
"Don't call me that."
"Why
not?" She was looking at him as if he'd grown two
heads.
"Because
he's Kal, not me. I'm Clark." He wondered if she could hear the
"just" in the name. Just Clark. Only ever Clark.
"No, he's Superman. You're Kal.
And you're Clark." She
looked as if she thought this was very elementary.
"No. He's Kal.
He's the Kryptonian."
"He's only the alien. The creature who's
stronger here, under our yellow sun.
You're the man who Kal would have been on Krypton. Not a superman. Just a man. A good man. A fun man. A man with
personality."
He stared at her. It had never occurred to him that he still
had a right to his Kryptonian name. But
she made sense. If he'd stayed on his
own world, lived out his life as Kal-El, he'd only have been a normal man.
"Did you really think
you weren't Kal anymore?"
"Yes. I did."
He pushed himself to his feet, walked close to the edge, dangerously
close.
She was there instantly, just
as he'd known she would be. "What
are you doing?"
"Nothing." He looked down
at her, he was still taller than her. "I miss it. I lied."
"The
life?"
He nodded. "And flying. I miss that so much."
"If Lois weren't due
home, you could fly with me."
He looked down. "She's not due home anytime soon."
"Oh."
"Take me flying,
Diana."
"Kal. All the
trouble we caused. Are you sure you want
to--"
"--She's not coming home
for hours. And I want to fly. I want to see the city from above. High above."
"All
right." She moved closer, smiling as if in
embarrassment. "I usually make
people face away from me when I do this.
Much less intimate."
"We've been in more
intimate situations." He could feel
himself blushing, hoped she'd find it charming, or, better yet, that it was too
dark for her to see him doing it.
"Yes. We have been." She pulled him close, holding him
tightly.
Then she stepped off, falling
lightly away from the building, and, for a moment, he thought he was too heavy
for her. His stomach dropped to his toes,
and he felt like throwing up.
"Please tell me you're
not going to vomit."
"I'm not going to
vomit," he said, trying his best to make sure that it was not a lie.
"That's the other reason
I have them face away," she whispered in his ear, making him laugh and almost
forget that all he wanted to do was hurl his leftover Thai food into the dark
night.
As she flew them over
Metropolis, her arms holding him securely, he began to relax, and finally could
enjoy the sight he'd thought was lost to him.
"Lovely," he
murmured.
She nestled against him, her head buried in his neck, and seemed to trust him to
tell her if she was in danger of flying them into anything solid. "I miss you so, Kal. Lois got the better part of this deal."
"Tell that to
Lois," he said, finding it much easier to talk about his marriage from the
air, from the familiar feeling of being above his troubles.
"You and she are having problems...?"
"We'd just started to
talk--I mean really talk--again. And
then this." He saw the Daily Planet
come in sight, decided he didn't want to fly over it. "Go left, Diana. Take us to the park."
She did what he asked, flying
over the park, finally touching down when he pointed to his favorite place to
walk. He'd come to this remote part of
the park often when he'd needed time alone.
"So what's the
problem? Now that you don't have to answer
a JLA distress call every five minutes, you can talk even more."
"She misses Superman."
"I'm sure she
doesn't. She married you, Clark. Remember when you lost your powers?"
He nodded. "But there wasn't another Superman
running around then. I think...I think
she wonders if maybe she and he would be better than she and I are."
"Oh,
no. She and he would not. Would really not." Diana sighed.
"Did I mention the no personality issue?"
"You did." And even on repeat it made him feel better.
They walked for a few moments
in silence, then he looked over at her. "Do you love him, Diana?"
"Do I have to discuss personality
again, Kal? I like my men with some
charm." She took his arm, walking
close to him and smiling up at him.
"Do you still love
me?"
She nodded.
Sighing, he kissed the top of
her head, letting his lips linger on her hair.
It was safe that way, safe to say what was really bothering him. "She and I...we made love the first
night after I came back this way. But not since. I'm
not...I'm not a superman in bed anymore."
She didn't move, letting him
rest his lips on her hair as she held tight to his arm. "You're human."
"I know. And apparently, not that
good."
"I don't believe
that. It's just different."
"It's just
ordinary."
She did pull away then,
stared up at him, her eyes blazing. "So what? She's
ordinary."
He was surprised at her words,
realized she was right. "I never
thought of it that way."
"Well, you should."
"Would
you want to...with me? I mean, now?
The way I am now?"
She didn't answer.
"Never
mind. That was a stupid thing to ask." He started to walk away.
"Yes."
He stopped. "Really?"
"Yes. You didn't mean now as in right this minute,
did you?"
He laughed. "No.
I meant hypothetically."
"Good." She looked relieved. "I've felt guilty enough over Lois
without adding this to the mix."
She touched his arm; her fingers on his skin were gentle, tender.
It made him feel worlds
better that she still cared for him.
Plain old Clark still made her heart go pitter-patter. Or else she was lying through her teeth. Either way, a nice gesture. "If things continue the way they're
going, I may show up on your doorstep."
She looked up at him
seriously, her eyes solemn. "You'd
be welcome."
He couldn't stand it anymore;
he leaned down and kissed her. Just one kiss. Not a
very long one. But a
connection. A
reminder that in this topsy-turvy world some things stayed the same.
Even if it was a thing he
shouldn't have, a thing he shouldn't want.
He started walking again,
pulling her along with him. He noticed
her step was light, her touch on his arm still so sweet. "So I got all the personality,
huh?"
"And
the taste."
"What do you mean?"
"He sort of redesigned
your uniform."
"He
what?"
He felt her shaking, wondered
if she was crying for some strange reason, and looked over at her. She wasn't crying, she was laughing. Silently, almost
hysterically. In a way he'd never
seen before. "Diana?"
She stopped for a moment,
then she laughed again and this time it wasn't silent. She didn't make a lot of noises, but this was
a seriously amused Amazon clutching his arm.
She finally pulled herself together.
"I'm sorry. I've had to hold
it in every time I work with him. It's
the dumbest outfit I've ever seen."
Again he felt unaccountably
pleased at the comparison. "Yeah?"
Then he looked at her uniform, thought of his own. "My old one wasn't exactly a work of
art. And yours, while aesthetically
quite pleasing, is not the most practical thing." He waggled his eyebrows as he let his eyes
come to rest on her cleavage.
She slugged him. It hurt...quite a lot.
She was instantly
contrite. "Oh
goddesses, Kal. I forgot."
"It's okay," he
said, as he rubbed his arm. "I don't
need those muscles. Really."
"I'm sorry." She leaned up, kissing his cheek
chastely. When she pulled away, she
said, "Have you ever noticed that the superheroes who design their own
outfits look so much cooler?"
"Yes," he said,
thinking of Batman--he looked sinister just ordering fries and a shake. "That's what we get for letting our
parents dress us funny."
She laughed.
"So what's so awful
about my new uniform? What color is
it?"
"Black."
"That doesn't sound so
bad."
"No cape."
"Hmm." He'd gotten
used to the cape. But it was a mother to
fold down into his shirts. "That'd
be okay."
"It's one piece, the "S" is nice. It's yellow with red inside."
"He reversed it."
"But
tastefully." She began to
giggle.
In all the years he'd known
her, he'd never heard her giggle that way.
"What?"
"Well, that's the
front. The front's okay. But the back. Or lack thereof..." At his look, she reached into his shirt
pocket, pulling out a pen and the pad he always carried. "Let me show you." She drew quickly, then handed the pad back.
"You must be
joking?" He touched the spot she'd
made look the same shape as his "S" insignia. Only it appeared to be a big cut-out. "What the...?"
"That's skin
showing. Arthur doesn't get it,
either."
"And what's this?"
Clark asked, fingering something sort of rippled that
she'd drawn down the sides of the sleeves.
It looked...it looked like the front of one of the tux shirts he'd worn
to the prom in high school. "These
aren't..."
"Oh, yes they are. Ruffles."
"No."
"Yes. Congratulations, Kal. Your alter ego is a can-can girl." She leaned in closer. "Arthur calls him Prancer. But...uh...not to his face."
Clark giggled. He looked over at her. "You're not just saying this to make me
feel better, are you?"
"No. It's the
truth." She laughed again. "Besides, I couldn't make this up if I
wanted to. I don't have that much
imagination."
He smiled. "Thank you."
"For
what?"
"For making me feel
better about who I am."
"I've never forgotten
who you are. Why should you?" She reached up, her hand gentle on his
cheek. "You want me to fly you
home?"
"I think I'll walk."
She didn't look like she
thought that was a good idea. "It's
the park. And it's night."
He knew there'd be joggers
and people walking their dogs and probably some jerks too, but he'd chance
it. It was his life, and he was going to
live it. "I'll be fine."
"All right
then." She leaned in, laying her
lips against his softly and very quickly.
"I'll see you."
Then she took off into the
sky. But he had a feeling she'd be tailing
him to make sure he got home safely.
EPILOGUE:
Watching Diana's reflection
as she stood talking to Arthur, Kal was content to just stand and stare out the
satellite viewport.
It felt so good to be back in his old body--to be whole again. He saw Bruce wave to him as he walked toward
the teleporter, his stride steady--the old
Batman. He knew his friend was glad to
be the complete man too.
Kal caught Diana's eye for a
moment, then realized Arthur was coming his way. He turned, meeting his old friend with a
smile.
"Everything
okay in there?" Arthur asked,
knocking gently on his own head as if to illustrate which "there" he
meant.
"Yep."
"I'm not sure what to
call you."
Kal turned. "Why not just call me Prancer?"
Arthur turned an interesting
shade of red, and mumbled, "Diana has a big mouth." Then he hurried away.
Diana sighed and walked
over. "Couldn't leave well enough
alone, huh?"
He shook his head. "You left out that I considerably
enlarged this place," he said, gesturing at the parts of the satellite
that jutted out where nothing had been before.
"Well there is
that. You were very focused on the
task." She smiled at him. "So you have all the memories of both
parts?"
"That's right, Miss
Fashion Critic." He smoothed down
his old familiar uniform.
"What happened to the
backless one?"
"It ceased to exist when
I reintegrated."
"Thank all the gods and
goddesses."
He laughed at her solemn
look. "Those weren't supposed to
come out looking like ruffles, you know.
Faulty execution, but my original intent was good."
"I'll have to take your
word for it. Unless you're going to go
for version two point zero?"
"I'll restrain
myself."
Her eyes sparkled. "Good." She looked down, then back up. Her eyes were less sparkly. "I guess Lois must have been glad to get
her man back?"
"She was."
"All night, I imagine." There was a teasing note in Diana's
voice.
He met her eyes; they were
sadder than he liked despite her teasing, so he decided to not go there. "She was coming around at the end
anyway. Wanted us to
go away together, so she could get to know 'Just Clark.'"
"She didn't put it that
way?"
"Not
in so many words, no."
"Well, at least she came
around." Diana touched his
arm. "You can be sure of her."
Sighing, he shook his
head. "No, I can't. She was coming around, but it took so
long. It was sort of...grudging. I can't be sure of her, and she can't be sure
of me. I guess that's just how things
are now."
"I'm sorry for my part
in that."
"I'm not." He touched her arm, wanted to touch her cheek,
but the other leaguers were still around, might walk in on them. "When you took me flying, you may have
saved my life. You made me see
things--realize things--about myself, that I was too torn up to recognize. You helped me understand who I am. And I'll never forget that."
"I won't either." She did touch his cheek, but then she could
get away with it.
He didn't think she had any
idea how often she touched him--although he thought the other JLAers had grown used to it. Nobody seemed to look twice. But when he touched her...
"You better get home,"
she said softly.
He nodded. Then he leaned in, suddenly not caring if
anyone walked in, and rested his lips on her hair, the way he had that night in
the park. "You're the best friend
I'll ever have."
She pressed her head against
his lips for a moment, then gently pulled away. "Same for me."
Turning, she walked away,
giving him back his life, sending him on his way. Back to the marriage he was still working to
rebuild, and back to the life he was still learning things about, even after
all this time on Earth.
FIN