DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Twentieth Century Fox, Mutant Enemy, Paramount Studios, Inc
and Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are
copyright (c) 2004 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
The Lost Years: New Heading
by Djinn
"Our orders are coming
in now, sir." Uhura looked over at
Kirk.
He tried to erase the deep
frown he'd been wearing most of the day, but could tell he was barely
successful at turning it into something more neutral. "And where are we to go?"
"Nogura says 'Captain's
discretion,' sir. The message says you
know the priorities." Her eyebrow
rose.
Kirk shook his head. "Best speed to Vega Hydra. Have the science team start the sensor sweeps
as soon as we're there." He knew
there'd be nothing left to find there, not after so much time had passed since
the big battle. But he had to at least
look like he was trying to find Kirsu.
If he wanted to keep the ship.
Uhura nodded, turned back to
her board.
Kirk paced behind her, moving
around the bridge and stopping here and there to watch the new stations. He was still learning the ship, and making no
bones about needing to catch up. He'd been
caught with his pants down too many times, and he didn't have a Decker to pull
them back up for him anymore.
He walked over to Spock's
station. "I presume Chris filled
you in."
"She did,
Jim." Spock looked up at him. "It is doubtful that there is any
residue of the slayers' comings and goings.
But I have made sure that the sensor sweeps will not find any trace of
the portals opening, while at the same time making it appear that we are engaging
in a good faith effort to find Kirsu."
Kirk found himself
grinning. Hearing his name so easily from
Spock. And playing these games
again. It was just like old times. Almost.
Spock let an eyebrow
rise. "Christine can get to Kirsu
at any time, of course."
"I know that, and you
know that. Let's make sure that no one
else finds out."
Spock nodded.
Kirk almost asked him how his
evening went with Chris, then bit the words back. He wasn't that big a masochist. Although he thought that some part of him
wanted to hear that Spock and she had fallen into bed their first night
together so that he could just quit hoping.
He'd spent the entire night
listening for his chime, knowing that it was foolish. She'd either been with Spock last night or
safely tucked away in her own bed. He'd
made it clear she couldn't come to him.
So why had he hoped she would try anyway?
He started to turn, and Spock
said, "Was there something you wanted to say?"
Kirk shook his head. He found himself unable to move from the
spot. "It's good to have you
back."
"It is good to be back,
Jim."
There was an uncomfortable
silence.
Spock's voice was pitched
very low when he said, "Christine tried to tell me what has happened since
I left for Gol. It was confusing. She said that she let a vampire bite her?"
Kirk nodded. "David was an interesting man."
"David. Was she in love with him?"
Kirk shook his head. "But he had a message she resonated
with. His methods weren't good, but his ideas
were valid."
"So you did not mind
that she let him bite her?"
Kirk shot him a look. "Oh, I minded like hell. But that was a hard time for us. Your messages had just come and we were
getting so close--" He broke off,
suddenly aware of who he was talking to.
"It was a hard time for her.
She almost gave up again."
"I see."
"But she didn't. Nobody rescued her from him. She did that.
And she killed him in the end."
"She said you both
did. That it was a joint effort."
"Well, to be honest, he
sort of died for her." Kirk
nodded. "But she was the one
fighting him. She's the slayer. I'm just the sidekick."
"She said you have been
learning to use magic. You must be more
than just the sidekick?"
"Dabbling in
magic," he grinned, the grin he used to throw people off.
"She said you have grown
quiet powerful."
Kirk suddenly wondered if her
entire conversation had been about him and if that was why Spock was asking so
many questions.
"I've been working
hard. I'll admit that." Kirk shook his head.
"You and she have become
quite close?"
Kirk could feel his temper
rising. What was Spock doing? "Yes.
We're good friends."
Spock nodded, went back to
entering some equations into his station.
When Kirk turned to go, Spock's hand on his arm stopped him. "Thank you."
"For what?"
"For giving her back to
me."
Kirk could feel his face
freeze. "I don't know what you
mean." Despite how low they were
talking, he felt as if everyone must be staring at them. He turned.
No one seemed concerned with their conversation. Sulu and Chekov were saying something to
Uhura that was making her laugh. The rest of the bridge crew seemed to be busy
at work on their stations.
"I think you do know
precisely what I mean, Jim. And I
recognize your sacrifice."
Kirk smiled tightly. "Chris and I are friends. Nothing more."
Spock nodded. "I find myself wishing that she and I
were better friends. Our time last night
was uncomfortable."
Kirk wanted to ask if that
was before or after they had screwed like minks. He refrained, even as he wondered when he had
developed this aptitude for wallowing in his own misery?
"She seemed distracted,"
Spock said into the silence. "I
believe she is distracted by you."
"I think you're
imagining that. Why would I distract
her?" He smiled, walked away before
Spock could say something else that would make him uncomfortable.
As the shift wound down, he
walked back over to Spock's station.
"You in the mood for chess one of these days?"
Spock nodded. "Chess would be enjoyable. But not tonight."
"Dinner with
Chris?"
"She did not say she
wanted to eat. She did say she wanted to
talk. That is good. She did not seem to want to engage in conversation
last night."
Kirk wondered if Spock knew
how that sounded. "Well, if talk is
what you want, then I hope you get it."
Spock raised an eyebrow at
him. "You seem uncomfortable
talking about her."
"Not at all." Kirk realized his fists were clenched and
slowly relaxed his hands.
"Well, I must go," Spock
said, not moving.
Kirk nodded.
"Are you happy,
Jim? You have the Enterprise back; you
are no longer stuck at a desk, as Doctor McCoy puts it. Are you content?"
"Of course, I am. What more could I want?" Kirk tried desperately to form a smile that
looked real.
"Of course. What more indeed?" Spock's eyes seemed to be boring into his.
"Go. Chris is waiting for you."
Spock said, "I doubt you
are right. I will probably have to
collect her."
"She loses herself in
her work. Good trait in a scientist--you
know that." Kirk was about to lay
his hand on Spock's shoulder, then thought better of it, too much chance he'd
broadcast everything he was feeling.
"Have a good night."
"You too,
Jim." Spock rose, relinquishing the
science station to his replacement. With
a last look at Kirk, he left the bridge.
Kirk heaved a huge sigh of
relief as soon as Spock was gone. Was
this how it would be for the foreseeable future?
--------------------------
Christine stood uncertainly
at Spock's door. Steeling herself, she
raised her hand, rang the chime for admittance.
The door slid open and Spock
stood in front of her. He did not smile
exactly--his post V'ger emotionalism seemed to be fading--but something
lightened in his expression when he saw her.
"I expected you sooner."
"I thought you'd come
for me."
"I have been
contemplating a complex issue."
"Oh." She wasn't sure what else to say. "Can I come in?"
"Please." He moved back, gave her room to enter.
She walked into the
room. It was stark, as she
expected. His personal items were neatly
arranged. It was hot in the room, very hot. She'd forgotten that.
With Spike, she'd had to get
used to being too cold, since he'd never seemed to realize when the apartment had
been chilly. With Spock, she'd had to
get used to always being too hot.
With Jim, she'd been just
right. She sighed. She'd never be with Jim again.
Spock touched her shoulder,
guiding her gently to the bed.
She resisted.
He smiled slightly. "I am not attempting to seduce you. Please sit."
She sat down slowly. He sat down next to her. Not crowding her. Just waiting.
She turned to look at him, and
he stared back at her. His look seemed
to be dissecting her, as if there was something important he needed to figure
out and she held all the answers.
"What?"
His look changed, became more
evasive. "You are still so
beautiful to me."
She smiled, looked down. She did not think that was what he was really
thinking about. "I'm older. You are too." He looked so grizzled to her, so worn.
He nodded. "I purged much in the fires of the Kohlinar
disciplines. Excess emotion as intended,
but also, I think, some of my youth."
"Did you really purge the
emotions? Or just bury them? Because they came back, after V'ger, I
mean."
He seemed to think about
that. "Perhaps you are right. Perhaps I only buried them." He seemed to be studying her again. "It's true that as soon as I was free of
the meld, I wanted to reclaim two things.
My friendship with Jim. And
you."
His eyes seemed to burn into
hers. He was not trying to tone down
their intensity, and she found herself unable to look away. It would be so easy to sink into him, to let
him bond with her and take them back to where they'd been.
She finally forced her eyes
away. "I shouldn't have run."
He didn't reply, waited for
her to go on.
"I owed you more than
that. More than leaving you in the night
like that." She took a breath,
heard it shudder as she tried to keep herself composed.
He reached out, touched her
hand gently. "It is in the past
now."
She turned her hand so that
their palms were touching. "It's
not in the past, Spock. It never will be
until we talk about this. And I think
you misunderstand me. My regret is not
for leaving you; it's for leaving you like that."
His eyebrow rose, but he did
not pull his hand away. "Why did
you run? You knew that I was going to
live. McCoy told me that you knew that
and still you ran."
"Part of it was the Orb.
I was so filled with despair from having
destroyed it. But part of it was that I
couldn't face it anymore--the slaying, the bond, the responsibility. I felt as if no matter where I turned, there
was someone wanting something from me.
It seemed like there was no part of my life that I controlled." She looked down. "Your death, Laura's, even Rosa's. They hit me so hard. Maybe I just wanted to stop caring about
anything?"
"You should have told me
that the bond would be too confining. I
would have waited."
"Would you have? Because I remember how it was back then. How out of control I was. I think you believed you were providing me
with some stability. Grounding me. And you were." She shook her head. "Besides, I was buried in it by
then. I loved you and I wanted you and I
didn't mind that you were there to steady me.
I was too far into it to be able to tell the difference between support and
a crutch."
"A crutch is often
necessary for healing, Christine. As a
doctor, you know that."
"But the bond would have
been a crutch that never went away."
She shook her head. "I'm
saying this badly. As if I didn't like
the bond. Which would be a lie. I loved being that close to you. You were closer to me than I'd ever let
anyone be before."
"But after you left
me? What then?" He met her eyes, his expression calm. "You let Spike in?"
"Let him in, yes. Loved him?
No. Not the way I did you. Not in any sense but fondness."
"And lust." At her look, he shook his head gently. "I saw the two of you together,
Christine, when you were slaying. It was
clear from the way you kissed him that your relationship was a physical
one."
"All right. And lust.
But that's over. I told you Spike's
gone."
"And you haven't seen
him since." Spock's look was almost
amused, as if he knew what her answer would be.
"Well. I've seen him, yes. But not that way."
"I would have killed him
that night," Spock said softly.
"If you had not stopped me, I would have killed him."
"I know."
"I have had the time to
become grateful that you stopped me. And
to regret deeply that I tried to force you to come with me." He narrowed his eyes. "Of all the emotions that I tried to put
down through the Kohlinar, regret was the most resistant. I do regret what I did."
She tried to smile, could
feel that she wasn't making it. "I
couldn't go with you. Couldn't be with
you the way you seemed to need. Not
then."
"And now?" He moved closer to her. His hand on her neck made her shiver as it brushed
over the bite marks. He pulled her
collar away, stared at the scars and said, "This is where the vampire bit
you?"
She nodded.
"Jim has that part of
you, doesn't he?"
She froze.
"He has been with you
through all of this. This vampire that
almost turned you. The watcher who you
had to watch die. Jim was there for all
of it."
"He was." She turned away.
He turned her face back to
him. "We need to talk about
him."
She shook her head. "No.
We don't."
"No?" He moved closer again, leaned in. His lips on her neck, running over the bite
scars. His voice was low. "Do you feel anything when I do this,
Christine?"
She moved away, studied
him. "What do you want me to
say?"
"That night we made love
you did feel something. I could
tell. I moved you. And that was what made it so difficult to
understand. You were in my arms; you
were my lover again. I did not expect
you to refuse to be with me." His
mouth quirked slightly, not a smile, just a miniscule hint of one. "Did you have feelings for Jim
then?"
"No. And it's not why he didn't tell you where I
was." She had not wanted to get
into this with him, but she couldn't let him think that they'd betrayed him
that way.
He brushed a strand of hair
back from her face. She closed her eyes,
felt his lips touch hers. It was nearly
an automatic response to kiss him back, to relax into his arms. It felt familiar to be kissing him. Familiar and easy.
But not right.
She pulled away. He was watching her, and she found his
expression difficult to read. He seemed
less disappointed than sad. And
resigned.
"I'm sorry. I just--"
His finger on her lips
stopped her. "It is all right. That complex issue I referred to? It is us.
You and me...and Jim."
She looked down. "Spock, there's no Jim in this."
"He is between us now, is
he not?"
She shook her head. "He won't be. He won't betray you that way."
"But you would, wouldn't
you?"
"You left us
behind. How dare you come back here and
act as if anything that developed between Jim and me is some betrayal of
you. We had no way of knowing you'd come
back."
"Were you
lovers?" His voice was calm, his
eyes placid. He did not seem upset,
despite the intensity of his probing.
"Define that," she
finally said.
"I do not have to,
Christine. I look in your eyes and his,
and I see it. I see the emotions, the
affection. The love." He shook his head. "I do not know how to reach you when
your heart is given to another."
"I'm sorry. I'm not with him, Spock. Not that way.
He won't allow it."
"No, I know that. He is a man of honor. Even in my anger and hurt, I knew why he kept
his word to you and did not tell me where you were. I hated him for that, but I understood."
"He was caught between
us, Spock. He never wanted to be in that
position. But once he was, he did the best
that he could."
Spock nodded. There was a long silence as they sat on the
bed, not speaking.
Finally, he said, "I
have had time to analyze our situation.
To try to determine what went wrong between us." He reached out, took her hand. "I think that nothing went wrong between
us." He shook his head, as if at
some foolishness. "We were simply
never meant to be."
She closed her eyes. It hurt to hear him say that. Despite everything that had passed between
them, it still hurt.
"Is that not so, Christine? Your infatuation with me was a safe place for
you, was it not?"
She nodded.
"You never expected me
to be interested. And I have analyzed my
reaction to you. I believe we rushed our
relationship."
"Yes. I think we did too." She sighed.
"You didn't have the slightest interest in me and then, once you
knew I was the slayer, it seemed like you suddenly wanted me."
"It was not until that
moment that I saw you as a potential mate."
"And then you fought for
me so hard. It seemed like I was always
on the verge of running, and you were always pulling me back, loving me enough
to make me believe, to trust and reach out."
"Yes. I thought I could save you. I thought you would always want me, that if I
loved you enough, we would be all right.
But I believe my reasons for wanting you may have been suspect." The puzzlement in his eyes took away any
sting. "My love for you is real,
but I believe you may also have represented an opportunity."
"For escape?"
"To live a life that I
had denied myself. A physical
relationship with a strong partner, a chance to bond. The Vulcan ideal without the Vulcan
woman. You had professed to love me for
so long, and I believed that. Your
behavior was erratic, but I assumed it would change in time."
She nodded. "And if things had been different, if
you hadn't died, maybe I would have been all right. Maybe we'd have lasted a lifetime." A slayer lifetime anyway. Short, violent. She'd already lived so long for one of her
kind.
"Perhaps. Or perhaps the bond would have taken away the
last remnants of control you had. I do
not know why I considered that a good idea.
To bond with you when your emotions were so chaotic. You were right. It was dangerous."
"Passion of the
moment?"
"Indeed. And that is not a Vulcan failing but a human
one." His mouth quirked up
slightly. "I enjoyed that passion
greatly. You were never afraid to offer
me your body."
"No, I never was. Emma said that I did that to protect
myself. Offered sex in place of anything
more solid."
His hand rested easily on
hers, and she reached over with her free hand and touched his skin lightly.
"She thought that I'd
spent so much time hiding and running from who I was and what I'd been through,
that I'd given up on anyone getting to know the real me. The only thing I could give in a mature way
was my body. Everything else was buried so
deep no one--including me--could find it."
She drew her hand away, pulled her other hand gently out from under
his. "You came close, though. The meld, the bond. The love you gave me. Love I never expected. You tried, Spock. I know how hard you tried. But I wasn't there yet. I wasn't ready. I needed to grow up."
"And you have. You are very different now. I can see it just in the short time we've
spent together. You no longer need that
kind of support."
"No. I no longer do." She smiled sadly. "We didn't bring out the best in each
other."
"No. We did not."
She looked away.
"Do you think that could
change, Christine? Could we not try as
equal partners this time?"
She felt tears prickling at
her eyes, one broke loose, ran down her cheek.
"We're not the same people."
And I don't love you anymore, she wanted to say but couldn't bring
herself to. Couldn't bring herself to
tell him how badly she wanted his best friend.
He reached out, wiped the
tear away. The gesture only caused more
to fall.
"Please do not
cry." He drew her into his arms, held
her tightly, soothing her the way he had done when they were together. "I am not sure what my future is. I only know that it will be on this
ship. With Jim and my friends. Including you, if you plan to stay. Do you intend to stay?"
She closed her eyes, let
herself relax in his arms. Her future
loomed up in front of her, immeasurably large, murky with the unknowns that had
been added into the equation when Spock had rejoined the crew. Could she stay on this ship? Could she see Jim every day and not want
him? And might she not be tempted to
take what Spock offered, to escape into him if she stayed? "No."
"No?"
She shook her head. "I can't stay here, Spock. I can't give you what you want, and I can't
have what I want."
"Where will you
go?"
"I have a job to
do. There's a werewolf out there who's
trying to turn my retirement home into her own version of the jungle book. I have to stop her."
"And you think Nogura
will let you leave?"
She pulled away from
him. "He'll give me a ship of my
own if I sell it well enough. Or the watchers
will help me."
"Neither are people you
want to work with. Have you told Jim
that you are leaving?"
She shook her head.
"He will not view this
as good news."
"He'll get over
it."
Spock moved away from her,
his hands behind his back. He walked
slowly across the room, then he turned.
They stood at opposite sides, with as much distance as could be achieved
in the small space put between them.
"You are in love with
him?"
She looked down.
"He is in love with
you."
She strode over to him. "He beat himself up the entire time you
were gone for having betrayed you. He
hated the distance between you. Nearly
froze in that coldness. And then when
you left...he missed you, Spock. Missed
you so much that I know he would have given anything to have the old times
back. The times before I asked him to
lie. Before you found out that he
had." She realized her fists were
clenched, forced herself to relax.
"It doesn't matter if
he's in love with me or not, Spock, because he'll never do anything about
it. I was yours. Might still be if not for him. Being with me would be a betrayal, and he
won't do that to you again." She
turned away, unsure what was left to say.
"You _were_ mine,
Christine. For a short time, you were
mine. And I was yours."
She nodded, unwilling to turn
around and see his face. She heard him
move toward her, felt his hands on her arms.
"I loved you. I believe I still love you," he said.
"I know."
"You are no longer mine,
however." He leaned in, his body
firm against her back, his lips touching down gently on her hair. "I have seen how you look at Jim, and
how he looks at you when he thinks no one can see. And when you told me of your life since I
have been gone, it was apparent how much a part of that Jim has been. I can see how close you are. You are friends, better friends than you and
I were. Perhaps...if we had taken more
time?" He grew quiet.
She wiped at her eyes, trying
to force the tears back. They hadn't
taken more time, and they weren't better friends. And she felt as if she was being torn apart,
having to talk about Jim this way, having to open up a piece of her heart that
she was trying to seal shut so it wouldn't break her in two when she left.
"I can see that you
would both like to be more than just friends to each other." He moved his hands, let his arms enfold
her.
They stood like that for a
moment, alone together in the silence of his room.
Then he said softly, "We
are not joined. We do not touch. We shall be forever parted."
The words sounded as if they
were from a Vulcan ritual.
"The bond was severed,
by my own hand." His voice changed,
became less formal. "You do not
want it back?"
She took a ragged
breath. Standing here, like this, with
him close to her, it still felt good.
Still felt warm and comforting.
Spock was solid. He would take
care of her. If she let him, he'd keep
her safe.
And she'd suffocate. It was time that she took care of
herself. And long past time that if she
was with a man, it was for the good things he brought out in her, not the bad
things he helped her suppress.
"I can't, Spock."
He did not seem
surprised. "You are free to go
where you will. To do as you
wish." His voice dropped, sounded
sad and small, when he said, "And so is he." He sighed against her. "The touch of you will always be in my
mind, nothing more than a memory, but it will never leave me. I will never forget what it felt like to be
with you." He kissed her neck. "You were my bond mate. But that time is over. Go to him, if it is what you both want."
She turned in his arms, stared
up at him. She wanted his friend, and if
she were to be with Jim, what would that do to Spock? Did she even have the right? Jim had already given up the idea of having
her. He would never touch her, not when
he knew what she meant to Spock. It was time
for her to give up on having Jim.
"No," she
said. "I think, given everything
that's happened, that I should leave."
"Your future is
here."
"No. Not anymore.
I'm prepared to find a new future if it will mean that you and Jim can
be friends again. That you can repair
what knowing me has done to your friendship."
His face took on a kind of
sadness. He slowly ran his hand down her
cheek. "I do not wish you to leave
on my account. And if Jim and I are
truly friends, then our relationship must be stronger than what has
happened. And it must be able to
withstand you." He took her hand,
led her to the entrance, then let go of her as the door opened to the corridor.
He did not step aside to let
her leave, but led her out into the corridor and down to Jim's quarters. He rang the chime, then turned to look at her
where she stood a few steps away.
"We must do this together."
She moved to his side just as
Jim answered the door.
He took one look at them
standing together and a shutter seemed to fall down over his eyes. If Christine had ever needed to know how he
felt, the stony look that covered his face would have told her the true
story. He gave them a smile, forced but
sincere nonetheless. "I see you two
have buried your differences?"
"Yes, we have. May we come in?" Spock asked.
Jim made a face, threw his
hands up in a way that seemed to say "Why the hell not."
She wanted to reach out to
him, but was unsure what Spock expected her to do in this situation.
Spock walked to the
viewscreen, stared out at the stars for a moment. Then he turned to look at them both. "When I was on Vulcan, I would lie on
the desert sand and stare at the stars, trying to find the stillness within
me. The anger I felt at both of you was
nearly overwhelming, and I wanted to punish you. It is why I sent those messages to
you." He turned to look out the
viewscreen again. "It was
especially cruel to send you her message, Jim.
I was indulging my own desire for vengeance."
Christine looked at Jim; he
seemed to be deliberately not looking at her.
"I'm sorry that I didn't
tell you," Jim said to Spock.
Spock turned, his expression
lighter than Christine expected. "I
have asked you this before, but would you do it differently if you had the
opportunity?"
Jim answered quickly, as if
he had already thought about this too many times to have to over think it this
time. "I don't see how I
could."
Spock almost smiled. "I thought not. And it is all right. I understand now."
Their eyes met and held.
Christine looked away. They could finally be friends again, there
was still a chance. If only she weren't
in the way. She could stop whatever
Spock was trying to do. Stop this before
it went too far. "Jim, I'm going to
request a transfer."
He turned to her, any indifference
gone. "Transfer?"
"I do not think that
losing the deputy CMO would be in the best interest of the Enterprise, Jim,"
Spock said easily.
He looked at him. "You don't?"
"Indeed, I do not. Nor do I wish for you to lose your...friend." He put an interesting emphasis on the word
friend.
"No. I don't want to lose her either." Jim turned to her. "Do you want to leave?"
She couldn't answer him, not
the way she wanted to. "Look at the
three of us. I'll always be a reminder
of what happened. But I know how strong
the friendship between you can be. I saw
it in sickbay, and I saw it as you worked together to stop V'ger. And I don't want to hurt that again."
Jim seemed about to speak,
but Spock stepped toward him, cutting off whatever he'd been about to say.
"I agree with her,
Jim. I do not wish for us to continue
our association with so much tension between us. But I do not think that running away again is
the answer." The look he shot her
was firm, not angry but resolved.
"And your solution?"
Jim asked.
"Perhaps we should all
agree that the past is past and let it stay there." He looked at Jim, then turned to
Christine. "Can we not try
that? Agree that the hurt and betrayal
is over?"
She looked at Jim. Saw him swallow hard. His eyes met hers, regret and something more
briefly shining in them, then he clamped down on his emotion. He nodded.
"I can do that."
Spock did not wait for her
answer. "Good." He turned to go, stopping to stand by
her. His shoulder touched hers, and he
looked over at her. "The past is
past."
She nodded. "Yes.
The past is past."
He walked to the door. As it opened, he turned back to look at them
both. "And, Jim, my relationship
with Christine is also over. In the
past. We are friends, nothing more." He turned to her, his face was a mask. "Or we will be friends eventually."
Christine remembered when
Emma had asked her if she was friends with Spock. "We will be," she answered him and
Emma finally too.
He nodded and looked at Jim. "She is no longer my bond mate. I have no claim on her." His expression did not change as he stared at
Jim. Then he turned and walked out the
door.
The door hissed closed, and
Christine looked over at Jim. He was
staring at her with a confused, slightly lost look. She probably had a similar look on her
face.
He turned and walked over to
the viewscreen. "That was damned
odd, Chris. Bringing him here?"
"It wasn't my
idea." She walked over to stand
near him, looked out at the stars.
"I offered to leave the ship, and the next thing I knew he was
leading me to your door."
"I thought that you
two...I mean, when you showed up together...."
"All Spock and I have
done is talk. We didn't have
sex."
He looked so relieved that
she laughed, then felt bad that she did.
"I think he'd given up
on that." She looked down. "In fact, I think he'd worked it all out--the
part about him and me--while he was at Gol.
And he figured out what was going on with you and me after the meld with
V'Ger."
"I didn't help things by
broadcasting when I touched you both. I
must have given him everything I felt for you." He shot her a wry grin. "So much for my shielding. Weasel would be disappointed in me."
"Maybe subconsciously
you did it on purpose?"
He shrugged, seemed unwilling
analyze it. "It's done now."
"Jim, Spock and I both
know that there is only one place he and I can end up. And that's apart. Even if I still wanted it back, it wouldn't
work. We're two different people. We've been through too much, been through it without
the other one there."
He looked at her, seemed to
be trying to read the honesty of her answer.
Trying to find the flaw in her argument.
"But you love him?"
"And part of me always
will." She couldn't lie about that,
knew he wouldn't want her to. Knew that
he'd understand.
And he seemed to. He looked away. Fell silent for a long time. Then he held his hand out to her.
She took it without
hesitation. Felt him squeeze, holding so
tightly that if she'd been anyone but the slayer she would have cried out with
pain.
"It's okay," she
said. "I'm not going
anywhere."
"But would you
have? Would you have left? Run again?"
"I'd have walked this
time." She laughed softly. "And it would have been for the right
reasons. Not because I was scared, but
so that the two of you could save your friendship, or at least so that you
could have a chance to try."
"I don't think he's over
you." He started to let go of her
hand.
She refused to let him slip
away, held on tightly. "He may
never be. But he released me. It was something he could never do
before. He did it just now, and he did
it earlier too in some kind of ritual--I think he divorced me." She smiled softly. Waited until he smiled back to say, "We
have to honor that. We have to let him
mean that. I think he needs to do it, as
your best friend."
"Spock's not my best
friend anymore." He turned to
her. "He's one of them, but not the
only one." His hand tightened on
hers again. "I'd miss you so much
if you left."
"If I did leave, my
heart wouldn't go with me. I love you
so." She looked down, could sense
him moving closer.
He tipped her chin up until
she was looking directly at him. "You
know that if you want to leave, if this is just going to put you back where you
were, then you should go. I won't try to
stop you. I won't make it difficult for
you. I don't want to do that to you
again."
He seemed to be struggling
for what else to say, so she took pity on him, touching his hand where it still
held her chin.
"I don't want to
leave. Not the ship. Not my friends. And especially not you."
"No?" He moved closer.
"No." She dropped her hand to his shoulder, held on
to him, suddenly shaky. She felt as if
she was drowning in his eyes, saw that he had the same expression. "I don't ever want to leave you."
He moved his hand, brushing
her cheek, then her ear. His hand rested
gently on the back of her neck, and he pulled her halfway to him. Then stopped.
"Chris?" He said her name as if he was a dying man in
the desert and she was the water he needed to survive. Water that he wouldn't force out of the
ground if it didn't want to come to him on its own.
"Jim." She closed the gap between them, her arms
twining around his neck, her fingers tangling in his hair as their lips
met. His arms went around her, pulling
her closer.
She heard a moan, wasn't sure
which of them had made the sound.
She kissed him frantically,
unable to control how much she needed to touch him now that there was nothing
in their way. She could feel her skin
burning, could feel his energy rushing into her as he kissed her. Energy that was holding her close this time,
not tossing her across the room.
He pulled away suddenly,
stared at her with a startled look.
"Did you feel that?"
She nodded.
He began to grin, a slow,
sensual smile. "Like New
Orleans."
She shook her head. "Better.
This time, it won't wear off in ten minutes."
He grinned. "Well, you don't know that. I never did find that immune slayer."
"And you never
will." She kissed him again, losing
herself in the sensation of being as close to him as she wanted. Of not having to hold back.
His hands were everywhere,
running down her body, in her hair, on her face, pulling her closer, as if he
could pull her into him.
Then he seemed to force
himself to slow, to push her away from him.
"We have time. We don't have
to--"
With a groan of frustration,
she put her hand over his mouth.
"Jim, it's been eighteen months.
That's enough foreplay. And look
what happened when we waited last time."
"You have a point. Now?"
"Now."
"Oh, thank god," he
said, as he pulled her back into his arms, his mouth on hers again. He moved to her neck, kissing the skin,
tongue skipping over the bite marks, finding a new place to suck on. The tingling between them increased as he
sucked hard, his teeth never touching her.
Then he looked up at
her. "I'd have done this even
before Anacost."
She grinned. She hadn't tensed, hadn't felt
threatened. But she liked that he'd
stopped to tell her.
And she liked what he was
doing, even if she'd have one hell of a mark in the morning. "Just don't bite. There anyway."
"Understood." He pushed her toward the bed, their clothes flowing
off effortlessly, as if by magic.
They came together. It was thunder and lighting, sparks
flying. They could not get enough of
each other, and the intensity increased every time their bodies merged. She smiled, lost in the sensations, willing
to wrap their lovemaking up in whimsical terms of fireworks and explosions. Then she realized that the flashes were
real. Small bolts of lightning crackled
around them, thunder clapped softly, filling the room with a low-pitched tone
that caused every cell in her body to vibrate with more pleasure.
He was looking down at her,
his expression one of astonished delight.
"I think we did that."
"I think we did
too," she said, smiling as he leaned down to kiss her gently.
They made love again, this
time slowly and tenderly. The flashes
changed color, moving around them lightly and sending shivers down her skin
wherever they touched her.
"Magic calls to
magic," she whispered.
"Yes." He smiled at her, his expression sweet and
open. "And love calls to
love."
She was overwhelmed, felt so
much emotion rising up within her that she thought she might burst from the
deluge. Love and trust, respect and
enjoyment, all embodied in the man who was moving over her, inside her. She held him closer, willing to let the
feelings grow, not wanting to run from him, or to hide from what she felt.
She thought Emma would be
proud of her.
"I love you, Jim,"
she said. And, for possibly the first
time in her life, she understood exactly what that meant.
------------------------
Kirk woke slowly, aware of
two things: the reassuring hum of his
ship all around him, and the warm press of Chris's body next to him. He looked over at her, was rewarded with a
bright smile from her.
He threw her a mock
scowl. "You're supposed to be
asleep. How can I wake you up like this
if you're not asleep?" He kissed
her, relishing the feeling of having her in his arms, of being able to touch
her any way he wanted, any time he wanted.
She kissed him back just as
passionately. She had slayer stamina and
breath control. He was the first to pull
away.
"Were you staring at
me?" he asked.
She nodded.
"Why?"
"Because I
can." She cuddled up against
him. "It's a luxury. And I like looking at you."
He kissed her again. "Not that I mind, but just how long have
you been staring at me?"
"A couple of hours."
He frowned. "Why didn't you wake me up? I would have tired you out."
She laughed, unable to say
anything while he kissed her until she was breathless. Or at least until he was. He had a feeling he'd need to hit the gym
more if he wanted to keep up with her in bed.
"Couldn't sleep?"
he asked.
She shrugged. "I think I'm so used to patrolling and
not having much of an evening left that my body refuses to sleep a full
night."
"You can patrol the
ship, if it would make your body feel better." He pushed the covers off her, intent on doing
his own bit to make her body feel good.
"In fact, that might be a good thing. We all might sleep better. Except maybe Rand."
She laughed. It was a light and easy sound and he stopped
what he was doing and looked at her. She
smiled again, a bright, happy expression.
Not one he saw much, but one he thought he saw more than anyone else
did. He ran his fingers over her lips,
felt them curve up even more.
"I love you so
much," he said.
She kissed his fingers.
"It was tearing me up
inside, thinking of you with him."
She nodded.
He touched the mark he'd made
on her neck. It had been a stupid thing
to do, to mark her like that.
She smiled complacently, as
if she loved that he'd done it.
"I'm yours," she said softly.
He nodded.
"And you're mine."
He laughed as she pulled him
down to her. "Yes, I am. Body and soul, Chris."
"Well, I don't know
about your soul, but your body definitely agrees with you," she said as
she moved under him, their bodies joining effortlessly.
They were well into the
moment when he heard someone cough behind him.
"LaVelle," Chris
said, as she peeked out from underneath him.
"We're kind of busy here."
"Yes. I see.
Stop."
Kirk rolled off Chris. He pulled the covers up over them both. "Haven't you heard of knocking?"
She rolled her eyes. "The portal isn't really the kind of
thing you knock on. Pure energy and all
that."
"Can't you do that
firebolts thing and knock her back to Kirsu?" Chris whispered to him.
"I wish," he said
with a grin, then he turned back to the other slayer. "Is there a reason you're here? Or did you just want to join in?"
LaVelle rolled her eyes. "Not likely." She sat down on the bed, handed Chris a root
of some kind. "Does this look familiar?"
Chris nodded. "Aconite. Wolfsbane."
LaVelle nodded. "And it's suddenly in Kirsu. Lots of big stinky flowers erupting all over
the place from these bulbs." She
threw it down on the bed. "I told
you no werewolves, not yet."
"I know. But it's a problem. The people I wanted to send your
way...they're sort of bad guys."
LaVelle scowled at her. "Bad guys? Bad guys who know how to do this? How did they find us?"
"They already knew where
you were, they just lacked the means to get to you."
"That's impossible. The founder Helene--"
"--Helene wasn't the
founder. She just happened to find the
rings."
"Are you saying that we
don't belong in Kirsu?"
"Of course not. But don't act like you created the damned
place." In her agitation, Chris leaned
forward, and the sheet slipped off her.
Kirk reached over and pulled it back up.
She shot him a look.
"There's nothing here she hasn't seen."
He laughed. "There's a lot I don't know about you,
isn't there?"
"I mean living with a
bunch of slayers she's used to the female body."
"Oh." He laughed, studied LaVelle. She didn't look all that comfortable with
Christine's nakedness. He realized with
a start what she was wearing. "Why
are you in a Starfleet uniform?"
"I'm going to help you
look for these people who want Kirsu."
"You're not a part of my
crew. And where did you get that
uniform?"
LaVelle smiled nastily. "I have my sources. And I think I'll stand out less as crew than
as a civilian." She seemed to
notice something, reached over and chucked Chris's chin up. The hickey he'd given her competed with the
bite scars David had left.
"Do I even want to know
what's happened to you?" she asked, letting go of Chris's chin.
"No," he answered
for them both. "Now, do you
mind?"
"Do I mind what?"
"Call the portal and go
home," Chris said, turning her back on her and cuddling up against
Kirk. "You can't stay here, there
are two many people onboard that might be loyal to our enemies. And they'll notice you. If we need you, we'll call."
"She's right. Good-bye." Kirk turned back to Chris, hoping the dark
slayer would take the hint and leave. He
tried to lose himself in kissing Chris, but he finally had to look.
LaVelle was leaning up
against a wall. "Don't mind
me. Just finish up quickly so we can get
to work."
Chris closed her eyes. "I'm sorry," she said softly. "I don't think she's planning to leave
on her own."
"It's okay." He kissed her again, LaVelle be damned. Then he looked up at the other slayer. "You.
Turn around." Once she was
facing the wall, he grabbed a uniform and hurried off to the bathroom.
A moment later, Chris joined
him. She moved past him, into the
shower.
"What about our
guest?" he asked, noticing that she had a red mark on her chin, and
another on her arm. He wondered what
kind of marks LaVelle sported. He was
almost sorry he'd missed it, if they'd come to blows.
"She's gone. I told her we'd be by in a bit."
"By? By where?"
"Kirsu. If someone is making wolfsbane grow there,
then it's got to be magic. And maybe we
can trace it."
"I'm not sure I'm that
good."
She smiled. "Oh, you're that good. Remember last night? Because I do." She pressed him up against the wall.
He gave himself over to her
and found out there were all sorts of interesting things you could do in the
shower if your partner was exceptionally strong...and limber.
A visit to the gym was
definitely in order.
------------------------
Spock tried not to watch the
lift doors. Jim was two point five
minutes late for his shift. Jim was
never late. He was usually early.
But he did not usually sleep
with Christine. Spock tried to pay
attention to what was on his terminal and not the lift doors. He failed.
A moment later, the doors
opened and Christine and Jim came out.
They appeared subdued as they came over to him. Christine leaned down and set a root on his
terminal. "We need to know the
origins of this." He began to move
it toward his scanner and she stopped him, her hand cool on his skin. "On a stand alone, if you can make us one. We don't want this going back to
Command."
"It has to do with Kirsu?"
She nodded.
He noticed her hair was wet
and she smelled of some herbal-smelling soap.
The same soap Jim smelled of.
Spock looked away. "I will take
this to the lab."
She stood up. "I'll ride down with you."
He nodded. Surprised. He turned and saw that Jim was watching him
carefully.
"Good morning, by the
way," his friend said.
"Good morning,"
Spock murmured back, trying not to notice how happy Jim looked, or how
carefully he moved as he walked to the chair.
Spock turned to watch
Christine. She seemed to be in no
physical discomfort, although she had a strange mark on her neck.
She seemed to realize he was
staring at it and said, "You won't mind stopping in sickbay first?"
He shook his head, unsure
when she could have become wounded since he had seen her last. It looked like a bruise. She held her hand over it.
When the lift doors closed,
he said, "I trust you are well, Christine?"
"I am. Thanks for asking." She looked over at him. "How are you?"
"I am fine." He did not say that he would have been better
if she had slept with him and not his friend.
He supposed there would be many things he would not say as he became
accustomed to their relationship.
"You remember
LaVelle?"
"The slayer?"
She nodded. "She paid us a visit this morning."
Spock suddenly felt
better...and a little spiteful. He could
remember how amorous Christine could be in the morning. Could only hope LaVelle put a damper on their
morning activities.
"You don't have to look
so pleased," she said softly, smiling at him. "For you that's a positively gleeful
expression. Spock."
He looked away. "I am sorry. It is my human side, no doubt."
She laughed. "No doubt."
"What did LaVelle
want?" Not that she had to want
anything, as long as she had interrupted Jim and Christine. Perhaps she could stop in every morning?
Spock decided that not all of
his post-V'ger emotionalism had worn off.
"That root is wolfsbane. Monkshood.
Aconite. It has lots of
names. We care because it suddenly
showed up in Kirsu--blooming all over.
Jim and I are going to take a look and see if we can trace it back
magically. But I wanted to find out
everything we could about it beforehand.
It might give us an idea where to look for Lori. If it was Lori."
"Why would a werewolf
want to cause the plant that repels her to grow?"
"In Kirsu, she doesn't
have to worry about the change. But I
don't think she plans to stay in Kirsu. And
if she's going to send werewolves back and forth, she's going to have to be
able to control the change in them. And
this is the easiest way. Especially for
the newer wolves. We don't know where
she will want to go, but nowhere in this dimension is free from the pull of the
moon."
"So a werewolf will
always change while in this dimension? Chief
Rand will change at some point?"
"No, she's been trained
to not change." Christine
frowned. "It doesn't have to be
Lori, though. It could be Nogura. If he caused enough of the wolfsbane to
bloom, then Kirsu would become lethal for the wolves. And he is good with flowers. His hobby is growing irises--and wolfsbane."
He nodded.
"Logical."
Christine led him into
sickbay. She grabbed a regenerator and
then went into one of the heads. A
moment later she came back, her neck devoid of the mark. He noticed that she didn't put the
regenerator back in the drawer, but slipped it into her uniform pocket.
It suddenly dawned on him
what had caused the mark or at least who.
"Captain's privilege?" he muttered.
She shot him a startled look,
but didn't answer.
He thought that was wise.
--------------------
Christine watched Spock as he
analyzed the wolfsbane. He seemed
comfortable with her, not angry or resentful and for that she was extremely
thankful. It would have been better to
leave then to send him back to that dark place he'd been in when he'd hated Jim
and her.
He made an adjustment to the
tricorder he'd rigged to not communicate with the central databases and then looked
up at her.
"What?" she asked.
"I did not say
anything."
She smiled at him, waited for
him to tease her, but he just went back to studying the herb. She had expected to be more uncomfortable
around him, but she felt all right even if she wondered what was really going
on underneath that tight Vulcan control.
He frowned for a moment, the
expression barely readable unless you knew him well.
"What is it?" She moved over to look at the readings.
"This has been
genetically reengineered. It is
impossible to tell where it originated because its code is so different from
the closest plant, which I believe is common monkshood, or wolfsbane as you
call it."
She leaned in, "The
mods, can you tell what they might have done to the plant?"
He pointed to one line on the
terminal. "This appears to be the
olfactory signature. It has been
modified greatly--wolfsbane does not appear to normally have a fragrance." He touched the bulb. "When this blooms, the flower's scent
will be detectable from great distances.
And the poisonous attributes of the rest of the plant seem to be present
in the fragrance. Minute quantities
only. A normal human would probably not
be affected."
"But a werewolf?"
He nodded.
"What about a
slayer? We're not exactly normal humans."
"I do not know. And it would depend on how many flowers were
blooming. The concentration might become
lethal due to the number." He
looked up at her. "You will have to
check the Kirsu slayers for side effects of aconite poisoning. You know what they are?"
She nodded. "I've read up on it since we ran into
Lori. Tingling followed by numbness,
most symptoms are gastro-enteric in nature." Death was the final result though. Christine wondered how many people the
Nogura's had killed as they'd searched for the right mixture of the aconite
remedy they used on the werewolves. "It's
a deterrent then, Lori wouldn't want to poison the landscape, she'd only want
enough to harvest to suppress the change.
This must be Nogura."
"I would be able to
confirm that if I had a better sample?
One bulb does not tell the entire story, as I know you are aware. It is possible they are both working this
magic, in which case there may be more to tell."
She nodded. "You in the mood for a quick field
trip?"
"To Kirsu?" At her nod, he said, "But I thought that
you and Jim were going?"
She nodded. "We are.
You can come too. The ship will
be fine the short time we're gone, and we need your expertise there."
He seemed pleased.
She laid her hand gently on
his arm. "Did you think we wouldn't
want you there?"
He looked up at her. There was something sad in his eyes. "Dynamics alter as relationships change,
Christine."
She squeezed his arm
lightly. "I know. But that doesn't mean we don't need you."
He laid his hand over
hers. "You did not need me while
you were on Earth." His eyebrow
went up, as if daring her to argue.
"Yes, we did. But we didn't let the lack of you stop
us."
"Ah." He let go of her hand.
"Ah," she repeated,
her tone a bit more teasing. "We
couldn't exactly page you at Gol, now could we?"
"That is without
question. The head priestess frowns on
interruptions."
She grinned. "What was it like?" She checked his expression, ready to drop the
question if he looked uneasy.
He just seemed to be
considering his response. "It was
harsh. Austere. There is little in the way of comfort there. Lack and hardship enhance perfect repose is
one of the tenets." He shook his
head.
"How far did you
get?"
He looked up at her. "All the way." He seemed to be back there, on that place in
Vulcan. He swallowed, his Adam's apple
bobbing more than normal. "I was
ready to take my place among the masters.
It was my final test, and the easiest--a simple sharing of minds with
the head priestess before she put the necklace that showed mastery of the
Kohlinar discipline around my neck."
He seemed to shake himself.
"But V'ger interrupted that moment, and I was rejected."
"You could have followed
V'ger your own way, Spock. Why come back
to the ship? Why come back to us?"
"It was the most logical
way. You were already on course to it;
you had the resources to fully study it."
"And we had Jim. If you were monitoring our progress then you
knew he had taken control of the ship."
"Yes. I knew that.
But you misunderstand me if you think I came to the ship for him, or in
some hope that you would be on it. I was
rejected from the discipline not because I felt emotion when I contacted V'ger
but because the moment I heard its call, it became my path. The priestess would have sent me back to
training if I had experienced a stray feeling during the meld; she would not
have rejected me for that."
"So she rejected you
because you rejected Kohlinar first?"
He nodded. "Precisely."
"Fascinating."
He shot her a look, and she smiled
to show she was teasing. His expression
seemed to lighten again.
"Am I
interrupting?" Jim grinned at them from where he stood in the doorway to
the lab.
"Not at all." She thought at first he was smiling to cover
up some jealousy, but then realized he was relieved that she and Spock were
getting on. It still weighed on him, the
fact that he had stolen her from Spock, but she had faith that he'd get over
that eventually.
She held her hand out and he
came to stand next to her. He didn't
take her hand, but as Spock showed him what he had found, his hand came to rest
at the small of her back. The warm touch
of his hand, the slight press, it was both a comfort and a claim. It was a subtle thing, but definitely
possessive.
She loved it. After having him push her away for so long,
she found it heady that he wanted to make it clear who she was with, even if
only to the two of them. She touched her
neck, where she'd erased the bruise he'd left.
He saw her do it, took in the now clear skin, and winked at her. His hand pressed down on her back more
firmly, then he let go of her.
"So you'll come with us
then, to get more samples." It was
not a question, obviously a given. Jim
turned to her, "Maybe he can take a look at the amulet, see if it might be
acting as some kind of homing beacon."
Spock shook his head. "Jim, if it is using magic, then you
would be far more capable than I of determining that."
Kirk shrugged, grinning. "We'll both take a look at it. One of us is sure to figure it out."
"Your faith in our
abilities is undaunted, I see."
Jim reached over, touched
Spock's shoulder. "Do you know a
reason it shouldn't be?"
She smiled when Spock did not
answer.
Jim laughed. "When you think of one, you tell
me."
Christine saw Spock nod. He seemed to finally relax.
"Let's go
then?" She looked at Spock. "The safest place to leave from might be
your quarters. They won't expect us to
be working from what should have been Commander Sonak's quarters."
"Agreed," Spock
said, as he picked up the root and led them to his quarters. "Have you been to Kirsu, Jim?"
"Nope. It's a girls only club." He grinned at Chris. "Or so I'm told by the head slayer
there."
"LaVelle is still in
charge?" At Christine's nod, Spock said,
"Has her disposition improved?"
"Sure hasn't,"
Christine said, fingering a red mark on her chin. She should have used the regenerator on that
too.
"She doesn't like me at
all," Jim said softly. "You
might fare better."
"Doubtful, Jim. She did not appear to enjoy my company either
the few times we interacted." Spock
shot her a curious look as he palmed open his quarters and let them inside. "Do we not need the ring?"
She nodded.
"Are you going to
retrieve it?"
"She already has it,
Spock." Jim reached gently up to her
neck, feeling around underneath her collar until he pulled the necklace
out.
Chris could feel the short
chain moving but could see nothing. The
necklace was as invisible as the day they'd done the spell.
Spock leaned forward,
studying what he was not seeing. He
reached out, his hand moving across her collarbone until he found the
chain. "Curious, it is there, I can
feel it. Yet it appears to be
cloaked."
"Try finding it if you
drop it." She'd learned not to take
it off at all. The chain was short
enough that it didn't move much and no one seemed to notice the tiny bump in
her uniform collar from the ring. "Who
needs Romulans when we have Jim?" she said softly.
Spock looked at him in
surprise and Jim grinned with pleasure.
"I'm really good with protection spells. The rest...eh."
Jim shot her a look, bland
enough to not be disrespectful of the lingering feelings Spock had for her, but
one that reminded her he hadn't done the invisibility spell by himself. She smiled and looked down, easing the ring
onto her little finger, it was just big enough to allow her finger to squeeze
past the sturdy chain. She touched the
stone, thought of the portal, and the air began to swirl in front of them.
The portal stabilized, and
she looked at both of them before stepping through it. "Ready or not, LaVelle. Here we come."
--------------------------------
Kirk followed Chris into the
portal, heard Spock behind him. He
couldn't help but smile. This was really
working. They were together, a team
again. The dynamics were different, but
they'd get used to that. They'd be fine.
If they could just get
through these first few days, he knew they'd be fine.
Although he wasn't sure he'd
want Chris anywhere around if Spock suddenly came down with a bad case of Pon
Farr. Hell, he wouldn't want to be
around for that. Spock might not take it
so well that Kirk had stolen her.
But other than that, Kirk
would trust his life to his friend.
Hoped Spock could say the same of him again. He looked back; Spock raised an eyebrow as he
followed stoically, and Kirk smiled.
Just like old times.
There was a moment of bright
white emptiness when the portal closed.
When it didn't open right away, Kirk felt Chris's hand reach back for
him. He knew she didn't like the
portal's tight spaces, and he couldn't blame her, not after the sewers.
He caught her hand in his and
squeezed: three short clasps. "I love you," was what he intended
them to mean. And she seemed to understand. She gave him one long squeeze, then sent the
three short ones back to him.
She loved him. God, it was wonderful having her, finally
having her. He knew that he had to hide
just how good it felt, at least for a while.
Spock wasn't over this, might never be completely over this. Kirk didn't need to rub his face in it.
The portal opened, and Chris
let go of his hand as Spock led them out into a brightly-lit field that was
covered with brilliant blue flowers.
They smelled odd, resinous, and slightly gamey. He noticed a group of slayers were trying to
cut them down in front of an Asian-looking house that stood off to the
side. Several other slayers were
training with quarterstaffs in the distance.
They stopped and stared at the strangers. One of the ones on flower duty ran into the
house and nearly collided with a blonde woman who was coming out. Kirk thought she looked familiar.
"Marion," Chris
whispered.
He saw Spock nod. There were some parts of Chris's life that
his friend knew much better. Of course Kirk
had been a bit preoccupied, first with Alma, and then with trying to cross over
to the undead way of life to catch everyone's names.
He felt Chris's hand on his
back, down low where he usually touched her.
It felt good; it also felt damned possessive as she gently pushed him
forward. Is that the message he'd been
sending her all these months? No wonder
she'd never understood why he couldn't be with her.
"Hello," Marion
said from the steps. "LaVelle said
you were coming."
"And where is she?"
Marion shrugged. "She came back from seeing you, told me
you'd be coming, and then took off again."
"And you're not
concerned?" Chris said, pushing past the men and walking toward the other
slayer.
Marion smiled serenely. "If there were trouble coming, I'd have
seen it."
"What do you call an
infestation of wolfsbane if not trouble?"
Marion shook her head. "I had no warning of that. I don't think it's as dire as Velle
does." She grinned. "But then that may be why I'm not the
leader?"
"May be." Chris gave her a quick hug.
"She's getting a new
slayer," Marion said, her look sad.
"Oh," Chris looked
down. "I'm sorry."
Marion touched her hand. "She'll be all right, she'll be with
us."
Chris nodded, then motioned
Jim and Spock forward. "You can
come in." She grinned at them then
disappeared into the house.
Kirk motioned to Spock and
hurried to the house. He saw that Chris
was mobbed with young women all asking a million questions. She was laughing as she gently pushed past
them. "Come on," she said to
Spock and him as she disappeared into an adjoining room.
Marion clapped her hands
sharply. The slayers all perked up and
turned around.
"Outside. Now."
There was good natured
groaning but they obeyed her. The house
was soon empty.
Marion smiled. "Sorry about that. We get new girls all the time, but those of
us who are older are an oddity. And I
don't have to tell you how unusual it is for us to have men here."
She led them into the other
room where Chris had pulled back a rug and exposed a trap door.
"What are you
doing?" Marion asked, a deep frown beginning.
"I'm afraid by bringing
the amulet here, I've exposed you to more danger. I think it's what the people causing the
wolfsbane to grow are focusing on. Jim
can fix that."
"I can?" Kirk
muttered and saw Spock's eyebrow go up.
"I can," he said with more confidence than he really felt.
Spock's eyebrow went up even
higher. He moved closer. "Can you?"
"Hell, if I know. She obviously thinks I can."
"Obviously."
"Be glad you get to be
the smart, strong one. This magic stuff
is nerve wracking."
Spock shot him a look that
was almost a smile. "I'm sure you
thrive on it, Jim. You have never been
able to resist a challenge."
Kirk grinned at Spock, then
moved to help Chris pull the trap door up, which was stupid because she didn't
need his help. But she smiled thanks at
him anyway. A houseful of slayers and he
wanted to hold the door. Gallantry died
hard. And he thought Chris would be
sorry to see it go, if he ever did give up being chivalrous.
It was pitch black in the
stairwell, and Marion handed them some lightsticks. As they walked down the narrow steps, he
could feel the magical energy growing thicker around them. "It's a goddamned beacon," he
whispered. He could feel it, even from
the back.
Chris looked up at
Spock. "Do you feel anything?"
He shook his head.
"Me neither," she
said. "And it's not causing you to
lose sleep any, is it, Marion?"
"No..."
Kirk looked at her. "Is there a but in there?"
"We recently took in a
young girl. She's not a
slayer." Marion looked up at
Spock. "She's like you."
"A Vulcan?"
Marion nodded. "She stays close to the door and keeps
muttering about something--we think it's power.
But we don't speak Vulcan and we're not even sure that's the word she's
using."
"Tepul?"
She shook her head. "I don't think that was it."
"Where is she?"
Kirk asked.
Marion pointed up. A young girl, about ten stood at the top of
the stairs, looking down at them. She was
clearly Vulcan.
"Where did you find
her?" Spock asked as he took a step toward her. "Do
you understand me?" he asked her in Vulcan.
"Father?" She seemed fascinated by Spock's ears, even
as she peeked out from behind the door.
"Saavik," Marion said
softly, her tone obviously more important than the words. "Why don't you come down?"
Kirk leaned in to Spock. "That wasn't Vulcan she was speaking,
was it?" His universal translator
had rendered the words fine, but he could tell that something was off in her
accent. She didn't sound like any Vulcan
he'd ever heard.
Spock shook his head. "It was Romulan. But she is not
Romulan. Not completely
anyway." He knelt down, touched his
ears, then pushed back his hair, showing her his forehead. He rubbed his hand on it. "We are the same."
Saavik rubbed her own
forehead. She slowly came out from
behind the door and walked down the stairs.
She leaned up against Marion for a moment, then reached out to Spock,
touching his ears and forehead the way he had.
"Father?" She smiled.
"No. I am not your father."
The girl's face fell and she
turned away.
"Way to go, Spock. Crush the kid." Chris walked over to Saavik and knelt
down.
Saavik stared at her, then
reached out and touched the necklace around her neck. The invisible necklace.
"Wow." Kirk moved up and knelt down. He smiled at Saavik, concentrated for a
moment, then held his hand out.
She looked at him as if
assessing him, then she smiled and set her hand in his. Power poured into him. He didn't resist, just let it run through him
and out into the ground. It was stronger
than anything he'd ever felt.
"She's strong. So strong." He ran his other hand down her hair, trying
to let his power run into her, trying to show her she wasn't alone.
She laughed, slapping her
other hand down on his, pressing it into her head harder. "More."
He shook his hand, gently
pried his hand away. "No. No more."
He looked up at Marion, then
at Spock. "She needs training. This kind of power can't be left undisciplined. It could damage her...and everyone around
her." He looked back at
Marion. "You said you found her? Where?"
"At a merchant camp
where we go to trade. They caught her
hiding in the cargo in their warehouse.
They know she smuggled herself out, but they don't know from
where."
"I do." Spock's face was a tight mask. "It has always been a legend. Hellguard.
The planet where Vulcans are held captive. Forced to dig in the mines for the
Romulans. The planet that houses
half-breeds such as this child."
Kirk turned back to the girl,
realized he could no longer feel the power the amulet was putting out. Hadn't been able to since she'd come down the
stairs. "She's dampening the
amulet's energy field. You could use
that. Has she been down here
before?"
Marion shook her head. "It's forbidden. Not that she cares about rules. She does whatever she wants, but she's so
sweet about it that none of us ever gets mad."
"Sounds familiar,"
Chris muttered.
Kirk fought his grin.
Marion continued. "But I've never caught her trying to
sneak in. She sits near the trapdoor all
the time though."
"Where's the
amulet," he asked.
She pointed to a wooden
cask. "In there."
Kirk stood, took Saavik's
hand and led her to the cask. "Can
you find it? The powerful thing?"
She opened the cask and
pulled out the amulet, gravely handing it to him.
"Thank you," he
said with a smile. Then he knelt
down. "I need you to go
upstairs," he said very seriously. "Just
for a few minutes. Okay?"
She looked at him solemnly,
then turned and ran upstairs, taking her place behind the doorway. She smiled shyly at him.
Chris turned to him with a
grin. "Is there anyone you can't
charm?"
He looked up at the little
girl. He wasn't sure who had done the
charming in this case. Then he looked
back at the amulet, which seemed to pulse in his hand and he studied it as he
opened himself to the power. He could
feel it as it stabilized the links between Kirsu and the other dimensions. He
followed the power, saw that it tore holes in the walls between the dimensions,
then tore other ones as it came streaming back into Kirsu. The holes closed, eventually. But while they were open, any magician who
could find them, could get through, perhaps not with his body, but at least
with his will.
"Saavik," he called
without turning around. "Come
here."
She pounded down the
stairs. "Hurts," she said as
she touched the amulet. "Holes all
around."
He nodded. "Yes.
All around."
She took it from him. "Fix them." She closed her eyes.
The power flow was suddenly
gone. He touched the amulet. It was still sending out the power, but in a tiny
stream. Just enough to punch a pinhole
through and back. And the holes closed
instantly. He touched her hand. She seemed in perfect control of the device.
He felt a sudden chill go
through him. What if Nogura had been right? What if the Romulans were a bigger threat
than anyone knew? What if Saavik wasn't
an aberration? Wasn't some kind of magical
prodigy? What if she was a prototype?
He had to know what she
was. Was she evil?
"Chris, I need some extra
power." He reached back, felt her
clasp his hand, not asking why or how much.
Just trusting him.
He squeezed. Three small clasps. Then he said, "Let me in."
He felt her barriers drop,
the same way they had when he and Weasel had used her memories to manifest
Laura. Her trust in him nearly made him
gasp. She had left nothing hidden this
time. Everything she had was at his
disposal.
He touched Saavik's chest,
over her heart. She did not flinch, just
smiled at him as if the power flowing between them could only be good. Then she opened herself to him too. He closed his eyes in relief. There was no evil in her. He'd been so afraid--what would he have had
to do to her if she had been evil?
He felt Chris squeeze his
hand, felt her concern pour into him.
Then Saavik leaned forward
and laid her cheek against his. She
slipped the amulet between her shirt and his hand and whispered,
"Protect."
It was as if an explosion
went off in the room--and in his head. He
felt something flare between him and Saavik.
He was flung back and Chris caught him, but there was no one to catch Saavik.
She flew back and hit the far wall. She
sat stunned for a moment, then laughed and held up her hands.
The amulet was gone.
"Oh, no," he
whispered.
"Try your ring,"
Chris ordered Marion.
As they slipped the rings on,
two portals began to form.
"Pretty," Saavik
said with a satisfied smile. She stood
up and walked over to Marion. "I'm
hungry." Then she walked up the
stairs and disappeared around the corner.
"What the hell just
happened?" LaVelle took the stairs two at a time. "I heard an explosion and--" She took in Spock, then Kirk. "Why are you here?"
"Your amulet was leaking,"
Kirk said, pushing himself to his feet and trying not to look as unsteady as he
was. He felt like following Saavik's
lead--he was suddenly starving too.
"Where did it go?"
Marion asked.
He shrugged and gave her his
best "everything will be fine...really" grin.
Nobody looked very convinced.
"I'm starving. I'll be with Saavik if you need me. Hopefully, she and I can figure out where we
sent the amulet." He turned to
Spock. "Don't you have some plants
to analyze?"
He left them staring after
him. As he bounded up the stairs, he saw
Saavik waiting for him.
"Hungry," she said
as she held her hand out.
He took it. "Any idea what we just did?"
She looked up at him. "We fixed the holes."
"I got that part. But how exactly?"
She shrugged. It was a perfect imitation of his own. "It's between the worlds now." She looked up at him, her face very grave.
"Safer that way."
She pointed out the
window. He saw that the flowers that had
been so intensely blue were fading, withering.
Dying. The holes were
closed. No more magic.
And if Spock didn't work
fast, there'd be nothing left to analyze.
He saw Spock at the doorway, saw him take in the scene, then hurry out
with his tricorder.
"Safer that way,"
Kirk murmured.
Saavik rummaged through the chiller
and stuck a sandwich in his hand.
"Eat. You're hungry."
He took a bite and grinned at
her. It was the best sandwich he'd ever
eaten.
Chris came in, smiling as she
watched him with Saavik. He offered her
a bite of his sandwich, but she shook her head.
"Did you feel any of
that?" he asked.
She nodded. "But from far away. I was just the generator,
remember?" She grinned at him as
she watched Spock hurrying from dying plant to dying plant. "I bet Nogura and Lori are cursing right
about now."
Kirk nodded, then looked
down, watching Saavik lean against him as she ate. "What are we going to do with her?"
"She's Vulcan. I think that's Spock's decision."
"She's only half-Vulcan,
Chris. And she's full of magic. Will they know how to nurture that? Or will they crush it all out of her."
Chris shot him a strange
look, then said quietly, "It may not be possible to crush it out of her. She may have been bred for it."
He nodded, let his hand drop
to rest on Saavik's head. He felt the
comforting flow of her power, it curled around his now, as if they were in
perfect synch. "She could have been
a weapon. If she hadn't escaped..."
"I know." Chris glanced down at the girl, then back at
him.
LaVelle came in, her stride
heavy and rushed.
"Calm down," Chris
said before the other slayer could say anything. "We just helped you."
"You just sent our
amulet god knows where. I fail to see
how that is an improvement."
Saavik pointed out the window,
her mouth too full of food to talk.
Chris talked for her. "No more stinky flowers. Which is good, because they might have built
to toxic levels."
LaVelle stared out at the fields,
covered now with dead and dying plants.
"I owe you an apology."
Kirk laughed. "Well, we still don't know where the
amulet is. Except that it's
between."
"Between
what?" For once LaVelle didn't
glare at him.
"The worlds?" He shrugged.
"I'm new at this and she's just a kid. We're not exactly the dream team."
The other slayer actually
laughed. "Well, you'll get no
argument from me there." She turned
to Chris, nodded with her chin toward where Spock worked in the fields. "So he's back too, huh?"
"One big happy
family," Chris said easily.
LaVelle looked down at
Saavik. Her face was as gentle as Kirk
had ever seen it. "She's not a
slayer. Can you help us with her?"
He nodded. "Can she stay here till we figure out
the best place for her?"
"Of course. She's no trouble." LaVelle grinned at Saavik, then turned to
go. "You can see yourselves
out?"
"You're welcome,"
Chris called after her.
LaVelle turned around. "It's a bit premature to say
thanks. We don't know if this is a good
thing or not, now do we?"
Before Chris could respond,
Kirk touched her arm. "Let it
go," he said softly.
"Fine."
Saavik giggled. When he looked down at her, she said very
softly, "Fight, fight, fight."
He laughed, knelt down so Christine
couldn't see them giggling together at the idea of the two slayers coming to
blows.
He touched Saavik's hair
again, and she leaned into his hand. All
he could feel from her was perfect trust...and the slightest hint of pure
mischief. "You'll be safe here for
a while. Then we'll come for you,
okay?"
Saavik nodded. She touched his ears. "Different." She looked at Chris. "All different."
"Human," he said
softly. "Just human."
"Human," she
said. She laid her hand on top of his
shirt, just over his heart. "Come
back."
He nodded.
She smiled then ran out of
the house, out to where Spock was working.
------------------------------
Spock found that he could not
get Saavik out of his mind as he tried to analyze the readings he'd taken of
the wolfsbane. He sat in an empty office
in the science lab and worked quickly, but thoughts of the little girl kept
intruding.
Jim had made it clear that it
was Spock's call what should be done with her.
Spock did not think that taking her to Vulcan now would be the best
thing. Vulcan prejudice was deep seated. If he took a Vulcan-Romulan girl home, there
would be questions about her origins.
And she would be subjected to the same kind of scrutiny he had been as a
child. She'd be under the same pressure
to measure up, to repress her Romulan side.
And she'd be the only one, just
like he had been.
But she didn't have to
be. Not if they could find
Hellguard. She had said there were
others like her. Not like her and Jim--Spock
supposed she'd meant the magic. But like
her and Spock. She'd touched her
forehead and ears. There were other
half-breeds, like them.
If he could rescue them all,
then she would be just one of many. And
she might not stand out with her magic.
He could take her home; his mother would know how to raise her. And Jim and Christine would know magicians
who would help.
He would speak to his
father. This was a matter for Vulcans to
pursue. His father would know the best
way to handle this.
And for now Saavik was safer
in Kirsu. And Kirsu was safer with her
there. He remembered her solemn face as
she had told him, "I protect this place."
He'd nodded absently.
She kicked at the grass until
he turned to look at her. "_I_
protect here." She looked back at
the house. "He--the human--protects
where you are."
"Are you saying you want
to stay here?"
She had nodded. "They need me." Then she smiled, an expression that seemed
shocking on Vulcan features. Unless you considered
Sybok. Which he did not. His mind, even now, shied away from thoughts
of Sybok.
Then she had said, "But
not forever." She'd laughed, skipping
away and picking up a quarterstaff that was easily three times her size. She challenged one of the younger girls with
it.
She had done quite well with
it too. He supposed there were worse
things than growing up with slayers.
She'd acquit herself well in anything that required fighting. He repressed a small smile. If he had known better how to fight, perhaps
a few Vulcan bullies who had tormented him with their words and biting sarcasm,
would have been afraid of his fists instead of just raising their pure-Vulcan eyebrows
at his attempts to fight.
He turned back to his
analysis. Saavik was not a problem he
could solve now, but the origin of the plants was. The monkshood was indeed of two kinds. From two distinct magical sources, no doubt,
since their properties were so different.
He'd make a full report to Jim and Christine when they were all alone
again.
He could not get the image of
their clasped hands, the easy way Jim had reached back for her, and she had met
him, offering him her strength without ever knowing what he wanted it for. And how she had caught him, how he had let
her. Spock had expected Jim to pull
away, but he seemed comfortable that she was stronger.
He seemed comfortable with
everything about her. They seemed bonded
so tightly, without benefit of any bond.
Spock understood now that he'd never had a chance with her. Not when Jim and she'd had so much time to
fall in love, to become friends, and to get to know each other in a way he and she
had never done.
They had rushed into their
relationship and it had hurt them. In the
end, it had helped destroy them. He
would not make that mistake again...if the time ever came when he believed his
heart could hold anyone but her.
He closed his eyes. It hurt.
He had no one to tell that to. No
one he trusted enough to share it with except the very two people who he could
never tell it to. But it hurt.
It hurt unimaginably.
He sighed and rose, shutting
up the office and taking the tricorder to his quarters before heading down to the
mess hall. The room was crowded and he
almost took his tray back to his quarters but somehow that seemed like defeat
to him. And he knew that if he did it
now, he would always do it.
He looked for Jim and
Christine but they were not in the room.
Then he spotted a free table in the back and made his way to it. Ignoring the noise around him, he concentrated
on each bite of food as if it was a meditation.
It would have been a more effective meditation if he had not looked up
every few minutes to see if Christine and Jim had come in while he had been
contemplating his broccoli.
"This seat taken?"
He looked up, frowned as he
saw Chief Rand standing with a tray, waiting impatiently.
"Look, it's the only
seat left in the whole mess. I
checked. Now, can I sit or can't
I?" She seemed exceptionally
agitated in addition to being unusually brusque with a senior officer.
He nodded at the chair and
she sank into it with a graceful, almost feline movement. "Thanks.
Normally, when the place is this crowed, I just take dinner back to my
quarters but my roommate's there and I'm not in the mood for feminine company
tonight. You know?"
He let an eyebrow lift be his
comment.
"You don't have any idea
what I'm talking about, do you?"
She leaned in. "See the moon
was just full back on Earth, and I'm still a little antsy." She moved a bit in her chair before cutting
into some very rare meat.
Spock looked away. "I can see you are slightly
anxious."
"Slightly?" She laughed.
"So where's your ex-wife?"
She was watching him carefully, as if she was not sure the term
fit. Something in his look must have
shown her she was right, because she leaned forward, smiled almost
savagely. "Lost her to my
heartthrob, didn't you?"
He chose not to answer. Tried to go back to meditating on his
vegetables but found himself looking back at Rand. With some interest. He pushed that thought away quickly.
She laughed, as if she knew
exactly what he had been thinking.
"Sorry. It's the
pheromones. I didn't think Vulcans were
susceptible though. Good to know you are,
I guess." She shook her head. "You know it used to be Christine and me
doing this. Commiserating. Me over the captain, her over you. We were pretty pathetic." She frowned, then her lips quickly turned up
into a smirk. "Of course, I was a
lot busier when I wasn't commiserating than our Chrissie was, if you get my
drift?"
He was not entirely sure he
did, but as the conversation seemed to be revolving around sex, he assumed it
had to do with that. "Ah," he
said, hoping it would cover a multitude of expected responses.
It seemed to. "Wasn't I shocked to find out she's with
the captain now? And that she was
married to you? How'd all that
happen?" She was eating her food
rapidly, but not in a graceless way. She
was just an enormously efficient carnivore.
"It is a long
story."
"I bet. Well, some other time then." She smiled at him. "Because I don't have time to sit and
chat."
"You don't?" Not that he cared one way or the other if she
stayed. But he was finding her somewhat
manic informality perplexing.
She nodded. "I'm surprised Christine the saint
didn't fill you in on me."
"She did tell me you
were a werewolf."
"Yeah I figured, since
you do seem to be following this conversation.
Frankly it's a relief to be able to talk about it to someone." She laughed.
"And you're not afraid of me, are you? She seems to think I'm evil."
He studied her. She did not look evil. But he was not entirely certain if evil had a
standard look. "Are you evil?"
She shrugged. "Guess it depends on who you ask. I don't happen to think so. I don't kill folks; I don't change into a
raving depilatory-challenged beast three times a month. So I think I'm doing okay."
He was not sure how to answer
that. Did one congratulate a werewolf on
not killing? He studied her as she ate;
she looked different than he remembered.
Older.
She looked up, smiled, this
time a knowing smile. "I know, I
know. I look tons older and not as
pretty. It's because the glamour's
gone." At his look of utter
incomprehension, she said, "The glamour.
A spell to make something or someone different...in my case, more
appealing. Nogura did it so the captain
would want me and I'd have better access to watch him. Of course, it never seemed to work."
"So your attractiveness
was enhanced?"
She nodded. "And I'm glad it's not anymore. This is me, I've earned these lines, you know? Who wants to go around looking like the cute
little teen queen all their lives? Used
to drive me nuts when people reacted to it.
Why do you think I was always showing off my legs? They at least are mine." She laughed as she ran her hand up the
trousers of the new uniform. "Now I
have no pretty face, and my great gams are all covered up."
He studied her. It was true that her face was no longer as
youthful, but her eyes were a vivid dark blue and her blonde hair was thick and
shiny. Her skin wasn't the smooth and
ageless complexion she'd had before, but it was tanned and healthy looking
despite the lines. More real. "You are still attractive," he said.
"That's so sweet of you,
Spock. Christine was an idiot to let you
go."
"No, she was
not." He realized he had just
opened up to Rand and quickly changed the subject. "You said you had earned the lines in
your face. Has your life been so hard
since you left the Enterprise?"
"Not since. Before.
You have no idea what it's like to grow up a werewolf, knowing that you
have two natures fighting for dominance."
He lifted an eyebrow, and she
laughed--the first real laugh he'd heard her give.
"Well, maybe you do at
that," she said. "It was
horrible. Feeling constantly under the
gun to sublimate the part of me deemed less appealing--but no less
natural. I can still see Tsuya Ito's
face when she'd use that cow prod on me.
And those god awful herbs." She seemed to shudder. "I learned to repress it; I learned not
to give in to the wolf. But I was a slow
learner--not because I was stupid, more because I was rebellious--and when I
finally was let out of the pens, I looked a lot older than I was."
"I am sorry."
She studied him. "I believe you are. But you always knew, even if you didn't know
what you knew." She shook her head. "Do you remember what you said to me
when the captain was split into two people by the transporter, after he
attacked me? That the dark captain had
some interesting qualities? It was
entirely inappropriate, you know, to say that to someone he'd tried to
rape."
He looked down. He had always wondered why he'd said that to
her. It had been inappropriate, and he
could not understand his motives for doing it.
"When I touched you, when I was trying to help you, I read
something."
She nodded. "No doubt. I'm not good at shielding. And I like it wild--but not that wild. He was a little too bestial even for
me." She pushed her tray away. "Well, that was satisfying. Now I have to find a partner or two."
She looked around the room, stopped at one point, smiling broadly.
He saw Sulu and Chekov both
wave at her. She glanced over at him,
saw his disapproval. "Oh don't
worry. I won't do them both--at least
not together. I save that for shore
leave and complete strangers." She
eyed him speculatively. "I bet with
you I wouldn't need two. You might be
able to keep up with me."
"We shall never know,
Chief Rand."
"Please, my name is
Janice. Use it." She laughed, and the sound was like a low
growl. She seemed embarrassed by the
sound. "I really have to go. Are you sure I can't change your mind? I may not be as pretty as you thought, but
I'm also not as stupid." She reached
out for his hand.
Another hand came out of
nowhere and slammed hers down. Christine
was there, glaring down at them both.
"Ow," Rand said,
staring daggers at Christine's hand.
"Spock, she's not on the
home team."
"That has not been
proven," Rand said.
"Oh, I think we know
enough to say that." Christine
pushed down harder and Rand grimaced.
Jim came up behind her, his
expression one of concern even as he moved in such a way that would hide what
Christine was doing from most of the mess hall.
"Do we have a problem here?"
"She's hitting on
Spock."
Jim leaned in. "Spock, you might not be aware of this
but she's a were--"
"--wolf, yes I
know. Ms. Rand and I were just
discussing the drawbacks of having a dual nature."
Christine laughed bitterly. "Oh, I'm sure you were."
Spock reached over, pried her
hand off Rand's and said, "Stop bullying her, Christine. She merely sat here because there were no
other places free."
"Excellent timing on her
part then." But Christine backed
off. "Well, you do whatever you
want to, Spock. Just don't let her bite
you." She glared at Jim. "What is it with you guys and these damn
wolves?" She stomped off toward the
synthesizers.
Jim smiled gamely. "We'll leave you two alone. Spock.
Janice." He hurried after
her.
"Thanks," Rand
said. "I didn't expect you to do
that."
"Christine can be overly
zealous in her application of force."
"If that's your way of
saying she's a violent bitch, then I agree." She held up her hand, there was a half-healed
burn in the middle of her palm. It looked painful. "Of course, our captain isn't exactly a
lightweight in that department, either.
They're really quite suited to each other, don't you think?"
"Jim did that to you? Unprovoked?"
"Well, no. I was coming on to him." She smiled, a silly grin that he realized
might be her true smile. "I may
have had it coming. But that's not the
point."
"Of course not."
She leaned forward. "Are you sure I can't tempt you? I'm enjoying talking with you. We could talk more after and after...and
after." Her grin turned into a
leer.
He shook his head, but he
knew that his amusement was probably showing.
Part of him was tempted. The part
that didn't like seeing Jim and Chris laughing as they waited their turn at the
synthesizer was tempted. Was that his
wolf?
She got up slowly. "Fine.
I'll leave you alone. Perhaps we
could eat together again?" She
nodded at her plate. "I'll try not
to order something that bloody. Your
disgust was pretty obvious." She
smiled, the silly smile.
He decided she was quite
attractive when she used it. It was
spontaneous, the utter opposite of her carefully executed seductive smile. And much sexier.
Why had he thought that?
She smiled again. "Sorry.
Pheromones. I can't help it, it's
that time of the month." She
laughed softly, then her smile faded as he did not react. "Guess that's not a joke on Vulcan? Oh well.
Live and learn." She picked
up her tray. "Have a nice
evening."
He watched her dump her tray
and then slink--there was no other word for it--over to Sulu and Chekov's
table.
He forced himself to look
away, to focus again on the present, on the task of taking in nourishment, and
being mindful of the gift that each bite was.
He had limited success. His own
state of mind over Jim and Christine, coupled with blonde hair, blue eyes, and
the lingering effect of pheromones made focusing on anything but Rand's offer
almost impossible.
--------------------------------
Kirk glanced back at Spock
and Rand. "Should I be worried
about that?"
Chris followed his gaze. "He's pretty vulnerable right now."
He grinned at her. "I resisted one of them at my most
vulnerable."
Her expression softened. "Yes, you did, didn't you?" She looked back at Spock. "I guess he can take care of
himself."
"You want to eat in my
room?" he asked softly. He might
have been able to resist Lori, but his slayer was another thing
altogether.
Her quick nod made him
chuckle.
"Order something we can
eat later," he whispered.
She laughed, punched a code
into the synthesizer and handed him his tray.
He didn't even look to see what it was, didn't care.
They hurried out of the mess
and to the lift. Uhura and McCoy were
just coming out.
"Jim, Chris." McCoy said.
"We won't hold you
up," Uhura said, as she pushed McCoy toward the mess.
Kirk looked back at her, saw
that she was watching him. She winked
and grinned and then turned back to McCoy.
Kirk smiled. Nyota appeared to be a very big fan of the
Chris and Jim show, and that made him happier than he could say. He wasn't sure where McCoy fell out on the
whole issue--it was probably harder for Len, having to choose between him and
Spock. Uhura had been with them through
the last months. She'd been part of
it. She and Chris had been his
family.
"We going to get off the
lift?"
He realized the doors were
open and Chris was standing in front of one so they wouldn't close.
He laughed. "Woolgathering."
"Some wool." She bumped up against him. "I think I'm jealous."
He shook his head. "Don't be, I was thinking about us. About what we've been through. You and me.
And Nyota."
She nodded. "Spock will never have that. No matter how much we bring him up to
speed. Neither will Len. They weren't there. And we went through hell, the three of
us. We went through it together, and I
think it changed us."
He smiled. "I know I trust you both implicitly
after everything." He remembered
how she had opened herself to him with Saavik.
"And I know you trust me that much too."
Her eyes were soft, happy and
loving. "And you know how far I've
come to be able to do that. I do trust
you."
He palmed open his door and
set the tray down on the desk.
She put hers down too. "So, what did you have in mind?"
He shrugged. "I thought we could play whist or
something."
"Whist, huh?" She moved into his arms.
"It's a highly
underrated game."
"I think you need four
for whist, sweetheart."
"Oh, well, I'll go get
Bones and Ny then." He tried to
pull away, acting as if he was going to charge out the door.
She laughed and pulled him
back to her.
He didn't fight her, let her
push him toward the bed. "Why, my
dear, you seem awfully eager to get somewhere."
She nodded playfully.
"Could it be to the
bed?"
She nodded again. As they passed the comm unit, he saw that it
was blinking.
"Damn." He pulled away from her and sat down at his
desk.
She came up behind him, began
to rub his shoulders, then leaned down and started to nuzzle his neck.
He grinned. "This message makes no sense, why do
you think that is?"
She laughed. "I have no idea." She began to run her hands down his
chest. "Hurry up and read
already."
He pulled her around and onto
his lap. He kissed her for a very long
time, until he felt her go limp in his arms.
"Take this off," he said, as he pointed to her uniform.
"Now?"
He pushed her up. "Yes." He hoped it would distract her long enough
for him to read the message. He scanned
it quickly. New orders, new
mission. A real one this time, not this
fake scavenger hunt for Kirsu.
He commed the bridge;
Lieutenant Commander Harkins answered.
"New orders, Commander. Are
we on track?"
"Aye, sir. We're en route to our destination. ETA eighteen hours."
"Affirmative,
Commander. Kirk out."
Chris smiled. "So we can quit hunting for Kirsu for a
while?"
He nodded. "Even Nogura can't justify the flagship
ignoring a real problem in order to gallivant around the galaxy running bizarre
scans that nobody understands."
"Thank god for
that."
He noticed she was still in
uniform. "I thought you were
getting out of that."
"I was having trouble
with the fasteners."
He grinned as he walked over
to her. "And you like the idea of me
doing it, don't you?"
She nodded. "I do."
He leaned in, kissed her and
undid her uniform, pulling it off. He
could feel her making short work of his own clothing.
He hugged her close, his
mouth close to her ear, his breath making her hair move as he said, "This
will be a luxury to me for a long time.
Having you here. Falling asleep
next to you, waking up with you. I don't
take it lightly; I want you to know that."
She pulled back, stroked his
cheek softly. "I know you
don't."
"I love you, Chris. I don't know when I've felt like this. It's not just that I love you; it's that I
believe there's nothing I can't tell you.
Nothing I can't trust you with."
He made a face. "Not that at
times there won't be information I can't share."
She nodded. "I know." She kissed him gently on the cheek,
whispered, "Can we talk lying down?"
He smiled, let her pull him
to the bed. They fell onto it and didn't
talk for a very long time. Wherever he
touched her, he felt a tingle, as if some magic of her own was mixing with his.
"I love you," she
murmured, tracing patterns down his back.
He shivered at the light
touch. "I love you too."
She looked over at him, her
face suddenly serious. "I would
have waited for you."
He smiled.
"Forever."
He shook his head. "Forever's a long time."
She nodded. "And not often something a slayer thinks
about." She smiled wryly. "So maybe I'm not saying much since for a
slayer, forever isn't very long."
"Don't talk like
that. Like it's a given that you'll die
early. You have me and Spock with you,
and you know neither of us will ever let anything happen to you. You have Ny and Bones. And there's a vampire out there who would
probably die for you too." He
kissed her. "Don't say you won't be
here. I can't bear it."
She nodded, didn't speak, and
he realized she was about to cry.
"Chris, there's nothing
we can't do together if we never stop trusting each other. Saavik showed me that today. She knew what I was doing when I was trying
to see if she was evil. She knew and she
trusted me not to hurt her. Then she
used that power between us to send the amulet somewhere that it wouldn't hurt
anyone. She's just a little girl, yet
she knew what to do." He kissed her
again. "We have to trust that
way. We have to know that way. To believe and have faith."
"I believe in
you." She smiled slowly. "And I believe in me...finally."
"And us?"
"And us. I'll believe in us forever." She pushed him to his back, followed
him. "Funny thing though. I'm suddenly much less concerned with
forever."
"You like the immediate
future better?"
She nodded, and he closed his
eyes as sensation overwhelmed him.
"I'm growing awfully
fond of it too," he said.
She laughed, bent to kiss him,
and he lost himself in her lips and her touches and her strong, flexible body
moving against his.
He closed his eyes. No matter what they did, the future would
come, and forever would take care of itself.
They couldn't know how long they'd have together. All he and Chris could do was enjoy the
moment they were in. Enjoy all the
moments. However many they were given.
He smiled. That was all very philosophical, but he knew
them. He knew what they'd fought
already. And they'd come out okay. Together, they'd come out just fine.
The house might always win,
but the house had never met Chris and him.
If he were a betting man, he'd take the longs odds and bet on the two of
them making it to forever.
And then some.
FIN