DISCLAIMER: The Dexter characters are
the property of Showtime. The story contents are the creation and property of
Djinn and are copyright (c) 2013 by Djinn. This story is Rated PG-13.
The Monsters are Still
Here
by Djinn
This
contains SPOILERS for the Dexter Series finale and earlier seasons.
Buenos
Aires is all Hannah imagined.
Bustling and beautiful and expensive as hell, so sheÕs glad she has the
money she lifted from Miles. No one
looks twice at her and Harrison.
They can pass for German-Argentinian, at least until they open their
mouths, although sheÕs slowly getting better at Spanish.
Harrison
is sucking it up like a sponge. When
they first got here, she had a long talk with him over what not to say, and he
seems to have stuck with the approved story. She told him it would protect his father
till Dexter can be with them again.
It
was cruel and someday sheÕll have to apologize for it, but for now, it will
keep him safe, and thatÕs what Dexter wanted. ThatÕs why he gave her his son.
She
was going to move to a farm, but Buenos Aires has captivated her. SheÕs opened a flower shop in one of the
trendy districts. She specializes
in orchids. She calls the shop Amor Dulce y Triste, because thatÕs what love feels like now: sweet
when sheÕs holding Harrison and sad when she thinks of Dex.
She
gets hit on all the time. She says
no every time. She wants to get
settled in her business and be a good mom to Harrison. She wants to do honor to the two people
who died as she fled. Dexter who she loved.
And Deb, who she might have learned to love.
She
cried over both of them. At night, when Harrison was asleep. He mustnÕt know yet that his father and
his aunt are gone. He deserves to
be happy. To live free from the
pain Dexter knew. That Hannah knew,
too, as a child. All she wants is
to love and protect him.
SheÕll
die for him. More likely, sheÕll
kill for him. Neither thought
bothers her.
ItÕs
probably why Dexter didnÕt think twice about giving Harrison to her. He knew sheÕd do whatever had to be
done.
##
Astoria
is gray much of the time. The life
of a logger is predictable, which soothes Dexter in some ways. He reports for work before itÕs light,
gets in the truck, and drives out to the site, high up in the hills where
theyÕre clear-cutting. The trees
get loaded up and he stays in the cab usually, pretending to doze. Then he drives the trees to the mill and
drops them off. He does this two or
three times a day depending on the weather.
The
other guys donÕt like him. ThatÕs
fine. He never wants to look at a
group of coworkers and realize theyÕve become friends. That he...loves them. That heÕll miss them. That he feels pain because of them.
HeÕs
turned off his feelings. Or maybe
he hasnÕt. Maybe his dark passenger
took them with him when he left, when he sat with Deb on her hospital bed and
ended her life. Or earlier, when he
killed Saxon in the open, on camera, not caring if it ended up being the thing
that undid him.
But
it wasnÕt. Batista didnÕt
understand completely what he was seeing, but Quinn did. Dexter thought he might have come to
like Quinn—if things had been different, if Deb had survived—when
he saw the way Quinn was looking at him after watching the tape of him stabbing
Saxon in the neck. HeÕd looked at
him with respect, wolf to wolf. Or
maybe coyote to wolf—Quinn did have a tendency to think small. But at any rate, they were two men who
both wanted to kill Saxon.
For Deb. Who
is gone now.
Like Rita.
Like Harry. Like Vogel. Like Zach. Like all the people
whoÕve died because of Dexter.
No
one dies now. His dark passenger
has gone silent, drowned perhaps when he set Deb into the water and watched her
sink. The blackness swallowing all
his foolish hopes and dreams as surely as it swallowed up his sister.
Now? He feels nothing. He wants nothing. He expects nothing.
And
nothing is what he gets.
##
Jamie
sits in Atlanta, drinking coffee in the clinic break room. She had to leave Miami after Dex died, after Deb died, after Harrison disappeared.
What
was Dexter doing in his boat during a hurricane? And why would he take Harrison with him?
She
misses Harrison. SheÕs been the
closest thing to a mom the boy has had for several years now. SheÕs lost him. SheÕs lost Joey. SheÕs lost Dex
and Deb.
She
still has Angel, though. Only the
life has gone out of him. First Maria, now this.
HeÕs questioning whether he wants to stay on the force again.
She
doesnÕt blame him. She wishes heÕd
come up to Atlanta. There are
hardly any good Cuban restaurants.
He could make a killing.
And
she misses him. Her
big brother. ItÕs in her
nature to take care of people and now she has only these temporary
charges. She probably should pay
more attention to the men who look at her, find a nice one, settle down, have kids of her own.
But
that feels wrong. Too soon.
SheÕs
lost everything. SheÕs lost nothing
at the same time. They werenÕt her
family, her blood.
Blood
isnÕt everything, though.
The
clock on the wall clicks down to her next appointment. She finishes her coffee and gets up,
leaving thoughts of Miami for her next break.
##
Quinn
stares at his desk, wondering who will get off today after doing something
horrible. Someone that Dexter might
have tracked down.
It
shocked him, for a moment, as he watched the video of SaxonÕs death, watched it
with Dexter and Angel. The calm
brutality as Dexter put down DebÕs killer.
He watched it again later, over and over, fixating on the way Dexter
stared down at SaxonÕs body, then reached over to casually punch the call
button.
Most
people would have punched it in panic, over and over. They would have backed away sooner.
LaGuerta had been convinced that Dexter was the Bay
Harbor Butcher. Doakes
had been, too, from what Quinn understands. And Quinn thinks they were right.
But the Bay Harbor Butcher offed assholes, criminals,
killers. People the system failed to lock up.
Was
that so bad?
Was
Dexter so bad? He loved Deb. He loved his son. Quinn saw that. He was great to Jamie. He was even good to Quinn, cleaning up
for him that one time, saving his ass.
All when Quinn had been hot on his case. But Dexter had done it for DebÕs sake.
What
wouldnÕt Dexter do for Deb?
Still,
Quinn wishes heÕd been the one to kill Saxon. He still does. He wanted to be the one to make things
right.
HeÕs
been thinking about that: making things right. How he would do it, if he were going to
take out bad guys the way he thinks Dexter did.
HeÕs
not a blood spatter guy, though.
HeÕs not one of the geeks who knows how much
you can leave behind without meaning to.
HeÕs not even that great a cop.
Although sometimes in Miami Metro, that doesnÕt
matter. Deb was a great
cop. Look where that got her.
So
even though he thinks about trying to be like Dex, he
doesnÕt do it. But heÕs shot a bit
more freely lately. HeÕs been
rougher—Angel even had to caution him the other day.
Like
it matters? If he gets suspended,
or even terminated.
What
the hell does any of it matter now that Deb is gone?
##
Hannah
is sitting in the flower ship and Harrison is drawing. ItÕs a picture of the Slice of Life. She can tell Dexter is driving it and
Harrison is sitting on the floor, a life jacket on. HeÕs drawn a blonde woman on the back bench seat, but HannahÕs not sure if itÕs her or his
mother.
Then
he pushes that drawing aside and starts a new one. This time the Slice of Life sits at anchor and he is drawing another boat, a
smaller one. Dexter and he are in
it, fishing.
ÒWhat
is that, Harrison?Ó
ÒLife
raft. We tested it and afterwards,
I wanted to fish.Ó
She
touches the life raft. ÒDid you
catch anything?Ó
ÒNo.Ó He keeps drawing.
Dexter. Life raft. Only wreckage of the Slice of Life itself was found after the
hurricane. Nothing else. No Dexter. Well, DebÕs body eventually washed up in
Fort Lauderdale. Hannah figures Dex went to the hospital, turned off her life support, and
took her to sea to bury her.
SheÕs
pieced this together from what she can find on the net, from what a very
discreet private investigator could find out, and from what she knows of
Dexter.
He
was at the end of his rope. She
should have made him come with her.
Nothing he could do would have saved Deb. Killing Saxon wouldnÕt make her safe,
not from the clot that ended her.
Dex had turned off, though. Hannah sees that now. He tended to wallow, to blame
himself. It was one crucial way
they were different. She knows that
not everything wrong with her life is her fault. Although plenty is—she doesnÕt lie
to herself.
Dexter
never seemed to get there. He would
want to punish himself. HeÕd
delivered the killing stroke too many times to think that suicide was a fit punishment. Death brought peace: to him—and to
the victim. The horror was over for
them. Dying in a hurricane was
poetic, but would it really be punishment?
What
if...?
She
touches the picture again. She
wants to talk to her private detective.
Have him start looking. Dex could be anywhere, but if she knows him, and she thinks
she does, heÕll live on the fringes, now, not in the middle of society. HeÕll deny himself that comfort. ItÕll be expensive to look for him, but
she can afford it. ÒCan I have this
picture, Harrison? When you
finish?Ó
ÒSure.Ó
She
kisses his forehead. ÒI love you.Ó
ÒI
love you too, Hannah.Ó
##
The Oregon days wear on. One into the next into
the next. Gray, cold days
with an icy damp that DexterÕs Miami-thin blood canÕt
stand. Nice days, when the spring
comes, then the warmer summer. Here
on the coast, itÕs never too hot.
But tourists come, filling the beaches, making traffic slow.
Fortunately
he doesnÕt drive the main roads for long.
HeÕs on the logging roads more often than not. And when heÕs on the main roads, heÕs not
in an SUV anymore. HeÕs in a huge
truck with logs thatÕll crush most cars if it tips. People show him some respect.
The
summer is over now. The seasonal
places are closing up. He parks his
rig and walks home to the boarding house, to his shithole room that he refuses
to decorate because that would mean caring.
HeÕs
lived here long enough the landlady asked him if he wanted to borrow some
things from her to dress the place up.
He said no.
She
flirts with him occasionally, but not very hard. Something about him probably screams
ÒStay awayÓ loud and clear.
ItÕs
ironic. Now that heÕs not a serial
killer, people probably think he could be.
He
gets closer to the house and sees someone sitting on the stairs. He canÕt tell who it is; they are
wrapped up in a jacket, a baseball cap on their head.
The
person stands and the face comes into focus as he gets
closer. She takes the cap off. Long blonde hair cascades down.
Hannah.
ÒI
think youÕve done your time, Dexter.
Your son needs you. I need
you.Ó
ÒYou
found me.Ó
ÒI
always will.Ó She walks toward
him. ÒI know why you came
here. But itÕs time to let
everything go and come home with me.Ó
ÒI
donÕt exist.Ó
She
pulls a blue passport out of her pocket.
ÒIÕm good with that kind of problem.Ó
He
takes the few steps to close the gap between them, looks at the passport. ÒDexter Morgan.Ó He smiles and it may be the first smile
heÕs made since heÕs been here.
ÒUsing a dead manÕs ID?Ó
She
smiles, too. ÒIt seemed
appropriate. And youÕre a dead
ringer. Go figure.Ó
He
tries to hand the passport back.
ÒEveryone I love dies because of me, Hannah.Ó
ÒNo,
Dex, people die because itÕs their time to die. Or they die because they donÕt like what
theyÕve done—like Harry, turning you into a killer and not being able to
live with that. Or they die because
you made a stupid decision. Like
Deb.Ó
He
closes his eyes. But he likes
this. That sheÕs not sugarcoating
things. That sheÕll let him bleed a
little as she peels the ice off him.
ÒItÕs
not who you are that gets people killed.
ItÕs what you do. ItÕs how
you do it.Ó She takes his hand. ÒHave you killed since youÕve been
here?Ó
He
shakes his head.
ÒGood. I think youÕll like Argentina. And Harrison is ready for you to come
home. WeÕre happy, but heÕd be
happier with his father there, too.Ó
She touches his cheek. ÒAnd
so would I.Ó
ÒI
donÕt know if I can love you anymore.Ó
She
wipes his face— is he crying?
ÒYou left me to keep me safe.
IÕd say youÕve proven you do.
Now, is there anything in your rooms you need? I think the lumberjack clothes are not
going to fly in B.A.Ó
He
smiles. ÒThereÕs nothing I need
here.Ó
ÒIs
there something you need in Argentina?
Two somethings, maybe?Ó She looks as if she is trying not to cry,
and he feels something, something good and strong. The feeling of his
heart beating again, maybe?
He
nods.
ÒLetÕs
go home, Dex.Ó
He
turns his back on the rooming house.
He turns his back on logs, on men who swear the same as anywhere else,
on gray misty days and nights with absolutely nothing to do but wait for sleep
to come.
And
as he does it, he feels her hand tighten on his, and he hears a light laugh
that is not HannahÕs. He looks
around, but there is no one else there.
"You
were meant to be happy, so you need to go fucking be happy.Ó DebÕs words. DebÕs voice. He hasnÕt let himself think of her, of
her smile, of the way she gave him his freedom.
I love you, Deb.
ÒDex?Ó
He
canÕt see. He stops walking.
ÒItÕs
okay.Ó
ÒDeb.Ó He dashes the tears from his eyes.
ÒI
know, honey. I know.Ó She kisses him and whispers, ÒI liked
her at the end. IÕm sorry I tried
to kill her.Ó
ÒI
think she knew that.Ó He takes her
hand, lets her lead him to her rental car.
ÒWho are you now?Ó
She
smiled. ÒHannah Morgan. Name only.Ó She leans in and kisses him
tenderly. ÒFor now.Ó
ÒI
want to see Harrison.Ó
ÒGood. ThatÕs good.Ó She strokes his cheek. ÒThatÕs very, very good.Ó
##
Quinn
sits in a bar, nursing a beer. His
cell phone rings and he sees itÕs Jamie, answers it and says, ÒHey.Ó
ÒHey. How are you?Ó
ÒIÕm
here. HowÕs Atlanta?Ó
ÒItÕs
different. Okay, I guess.Ó She sighs. ÒHow is Angel doing? He sounds sadder each time I talk to
him.Ó
ÒYeah. HeÕs lost so much. We all have.Ó
ÒI
know.Ó There is a weird
silence. Then she says, ÒIÕve met
someone, Joey. I guess...I guess I
want to hear from you that weÕre done.
So I can move on and not worry that I should be there for you.Ó
ÒWeÕre done, Jamie. If youÕve found
someone good, grab on with both hands.Ó
He smiles and tries to sound like a big-brother cop as he asks, ÒDo you
want me to check him out for you?Ó
ÒNo. JonahÕs total white bread
Americana. HeÕs from Nebraska of
all places. HeÕs alone, no family
left. I think he likes the idea of
my big family, but I told him he might want to rethink that once Angel faces
him down. He said heÕs used to
that: his dad was a piece of work.
I...I really like him.Ó
ÒGood,
thatÕs good, Jamie. If you ever
need anything, you know where to find me.Ó
ÒI
do. Take care of yourself, Joey.Ó
Quinn
hangs up the phone and goes back to his beer. As he drinks it, a short, slim blonde
woman slips onto a stool a few down from him. He nods and lifts his beer to her.
She
smiles, then turns away and orders a coke.
ÒItÕs
on me,Ó Quinn tells the bartender.
ÒAdd it to my tab.Ó
She
smiled. ÒSure you can afford it?Ó
He
laughs and nods. Then he realizes
she looks familiar. ÒHave we met?Ó
ÒI
donÕt think so. I came down to see
someone, but I found out he died in the hurricane.Ó
ÒLot
of that going around.Ó He takes a
long pull of his beer. ÒI lost
someone I loved.Ó
ÒMe,
too.Ó She lifts her glass, and even
though she doesnÕt look like sheÕs going to cry, she somehow resonates a sorrow
that is soothing to Quinn. ÒTo
departed loves.Ó
ÒTo
departed loves.Ó He clinks his
glass against hers. ÒWeÕre
toasting. I should know your name,
shouldnÕt I? IÕm Joey.Ó
ÒHi,
Joey. IÕm Lumen.Ó
FIN