DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and
Viacom. The story contents are the creation and property of Djinn and are
copyright (c) 2012 by Djinn. This story is Rated R.
Lasting Impressions
by Djinn
Spock
came to consciousness slowly, his vision clouded, his extremities tingling
painfully. He moved and pain
exploded in his head, causing him to make a sound he normally would not have.
ÒLie
still.Ó A voice. Female. Doctor ChapelÕs.
He
tried to move again and bit back the moan.
ÒCan
you really not hear me or are you just being obstinate?Ó
ÒI
can hear,Ó he managed to get out as pain nearly overwhelmed him.
ÒThen
donÕt move. You
were hit very hard on the head by the people who captured us. Do you remember that?Ó
He
thought back. ÒThe last thing I
remember is eating breakfast with the captain this morning.Ó
ÒOh,
swell. YouÕre out of commission
physically and mentally.Ó
ÒI
have limited amnesia. We have not
ascertained my intellectual capacity is diminished, Doctor.Ó
ÒWell,
your sweet nature certainly isnÕt.
YouÕve been out for about twelve hours as far as I can tell.Ó
ÒYou
left me unconscious for that long with a head wound? With a possibility of
concussion? I must note that
my vision appears impaired, and this may be due to you not keeping me awake.Ó
ÒIÕm
tied to a wall, Spock. I tried
yelling to keep you awake, which didnÕt get your attention but did earn me a
beating. So feel free to put me on
report when or if we get back to the ship.Ó
He
heard rustling, imagined she was trying to work free,
then there was a sharp intake of breath followed by cursing.
ÒYou
are badly injured?Ó he asked once the cursing subsided.
ÒLetÕs
just say our captors are no slouches in the beating department.Ó
ÒI
am sorry.Ó
ÒYeah,
thanks.Ó
ÒMay
I ask why we are on a mission together?Ó
ÒYou
mean as in just the two of us?Ó She
laughed, then cursed again, and he realized laughing
must have hurt her. ÒWe
werenÕt. We were on a landing
party. So hopefully, since the rest
of our compatriots arenÕt locked up, too, they will find us one of these
years.Ó She did not sound hopeful.
He
tried to remember anything about the landing party. Tried and failed. ÒWho made up the crew compliment of the
landing party?Ó
ÒYou,
me, Delyle, Santiago, and two security officers I
didnÕt recognize—think they were from the new group that transferred on
at Starbase Four. You remember
that, right?Ó
ÒYes. I recall everything before
breakfast.Ó Or at least he thought
he did. How would he know he
recalled everything until someone brought up something that he did not
remember? At least, the past before
breakfast was not this empty place that the past after breakfast and before
waking was. ÒWhy did they take us?Ó
ÒNo
idea. But I think what you really
mean is why were we together for them to take.Ó She sounded very bitter.
ÒI
believe I meant what I asked.Ó Although he was equally curious about her question.
ÒThey
appear to be hiding from the authorities so perhaps weÕre hostages. Why we were together is all your fault.
You said you wanted to talk to me, and you indicated it should be in
private.Ó
ÒWhat
did I want to talk to you about?Ó
ÒHell
if I know. They got us before you
could say. Since I gave up on you
after your VÕger emotionalism subsided, when it was
clear you werenÕt going to look my way, I assume it wasnÕt to berate me for
following you around and mooning over you.Ó
ÒLogical.Ó He decided not to tell her his VÕger emotionalism had far from subsided; he had just
learned to hide it much better. The
meld had profoundly impacted him in ways that frequently surprised him, even
months later.
ÒMaybe
you didnÕt like the way I was cataloging the plants? I donÕt know.Ó She sighed. ÒGod, IÕm thirsty.Ó
He
was, too. A memory came to
him. Jim, talking
about favorite vacation memories during breakfast. Mardi Gras—that
heÕd been several times. That he
enjoyed the parades, the beads, the
drinks—Hurricanes, Spock thought he had called them. ÒYou lived in New Orleans.Ó
ÒFor
a few years, yeah.Ó
ÒI
remember what it was I wanted to talk to you about. Jim indicated he had enjoyed Mardi Gras in the past.
I thought...Ó
ÒAwww, you wanted to throw him a Fat Tuesday party?Ó
ÒYes.Ó
ÒAnd
you thought IÕd be your resident expert on the thing? You know Ensign LaRue
lived there all her life, right? I
was just a kid when I was there—barely had time to soak up much of it
since my parents kept me away from most of the activities. They arenÕt very kid friendly, to be
honest. But LaRue
actually went to the parades; she knows how to make a king cake, decorate a
float, all that stuff.Ó
ÒSo
I would have been right to ask you.
You had the knowledge of who to ask, if not enough to be the expert
yourself.Ó
ÒWhy
did you have to ask me that in private?Ó
He
had no answer for that. He wondered
if something had occurred between breakfast and when
he had asked her to talk with him to make him think the conversation was best
conducted away from the others.
Before
he could think too long, light burst into where they were being held. ÒCommander? Doctor?Ó
ÒHere,Ó
he said. ÒHelp Doctor Chapel
first.Ó He was not being
chivalrous. Of all of them, he
trusted her the most to check his condition before moving him.
He
heard her being released from the wall, heard one of the security officers say,
ÒOh, maÕam, can you walk?Ó and wondered exactly how badly she was hurt, but she
said, ÒIÕm fine,Ó rather impatiently and was soon at his side.
ÒNice
of our boys to retrieve our equipment.
IÕd hate to have to scan you with a regular tricorder.Ó She fell silent, then, working quickly.
He
could just make out her face. She
was bruised and there was dried blood running down from what looked like a very
deep cut on her cheekbone.
They
had beaten her very badly indeed.
He found himself angry at these unseen
tormentors. Found himself angry that he could not remember any of it. That he had not been able to help her.
ÒWe
need to get you up to the ship now,Ó she said softly. She turned to the security officer. ÒCan we beam out from here?Ó
He
nodded, called for beam up.
The
three of them were taken first.
She
supervised as McCoy loaded him up on a gurney. Then Spock saw her collapse, saw one of
the security officers catch her.
ÒShe
is hurt,Ó Spock told McCoy.
ÒNot
as badly as you are. TheyÕll get
her on that other gurney.Ó
ÒShe
needs assistance.Ó
McCoy
patted him on the arm. ÒWell, color
me blindsided, Mister Spock. Are
you actually worried about her?Ó He
walked alongside as the lights caused strange auras for Spock when the gurney
passed under them. He felt as if he
might vomit as they pushed him from the transporter room to sickbay. ÒIÕll be sure to tell her.Ó
ÒI
can tell her.Ó No, that was not
right, he and Doctor Chapel did not regularly converse. He tried to sit up, felt McCoyÕs hand on
his chest.
ÒOkay,
buddy. How about neither of us tell her anything until you are all better? Which may not be for a while judging by
that last statement. Now just lie
still and try not to throw up on me—youÕre looking greener than normal.Ó
##
Spock
woke in sickbay to find his vision restored—his memory, however, seemed
to still be a blank as far as the slice of time between breakfast and waking up
wherever he and Doctor Chapel had been held. He saw her moving
slowly around sickbay, evidently back on duty. She met his eyes, seemed about to look
away, so he moved his head to indicate she should come over.
He
expected pain from the movement; there was none.
ÒHow
are you feeling?Ó she asked.
ÒBetter.Ó He studied her. Her face was a mass of shiny nu-skin and
he could see it going down her neck as well. Her left cheekbone was still red and
raw. ÒDoctor McCoy was not thorough
when he addressed your injuries.Ó
She
touched her cheek. ÒOh, he
was. Some injuries need more than
one pass. I have to let it heal up
a bit before we can go again.Ó She
took a deep breath. ÒThey opened
this down to the bone. Same as your
skull.Ó
He
resisted the urge to touch his head.
ÒAre you in pain?Ó
ÒNot
right now. IÕm on some pain
blockers. Not as good as the ones
youÕre on, but decent.Ó She studied
the readings on his biobed. ÒYouÕre doing much better. Do you remember anything more about the
time youÕd lost?Ó
ÒIt
is still a blank. It will likely
stay that way, wonÕt it?Ó
She
nodded. ÒIt was only a few
hours. It could have been much
worse.Ó She smiled gently, turned
to go, then stopped. ÒOh, I talked
to Ensign LaRue, told her you might be seeking her
out. SheÕs very new and very shy
and very in awe of anyone above the rank of lieutenant. I didnÕt want her to think she was in
trouble.Ó
ÒThank
you.Ó
ÒSure.Ó She smiled again, gingerly, he thought,
as if too wide a movement would hurt her cheek, then
moved away to check on another patient.
ÒThey
beat the holy hell out of her, Spock.Ó
McCoy came out of—Spock wasnÕt sure where he materialized
from. ÒYou were still worse
off, as you can probably tell since youÕre the one on the biobed
and sheÕs the one on her feet insisting on working.Ó
ÒYou
do not think she should be on duty?Ó
ÒHell,
no, I donÕt think she should be.
But sheÕs as hard to keep in bed as you or Jim.Ó McCoy sighed. ÒWhen can we have a landing party not
run into problems? There are
exactly two splinter groups on that entire planet and we beamed you into the
current home base of one of them.Ó
ÒIt
was, indeed, unfortunate.Ó
McCoy
laid his hand on SpockÕs shoulder, let it sit there for a long moment. ÒIÕm just glad youÕre both okay. You had me worried—you
especially.Ó
ÒI
appreciate your concern, Doctor.Ó
He watched Doctor Chapel stop for a moment, hold on to a biobed as if she was dizzy and needed the support. ÒDoctor McCoy, I believe Doctor Chapel
is—Ó
ÒI
see.Ó McCoy was off and to her
side, manhandling her to the biobed next to SpockÕs
and telling her, ÒHere, you two can commiserate about the S.O.B. who runs this
place. Now stay off your feet for
at least the next hour or IÕll confine you to quarters. You got me, missy?Ó
She
rolled her eyes, but Spock thought he read exhaustion in them. ÒFine.Ó Once McCoy was gone, she glanced at
him. ÒNot a word.Ó
He
wisely kept his mouth shut, watched her as she closed her eyes. She was asleep in moments. He was gone not long after her. When he woke up a few hours later, she
was still sleeping, but someone had covered her with a blanket and turned down
the lights around their biobeds. He watched her for a few moments, then
allowed himself to fall back to sleep.
##
Spock
found Ensign LaRue in science lab four. She blushed when she saw him, and
stammered a little as she said, ÒDoctor Chapel said you might be down to see
me, sir.Ó
ÒLet
me first say you are under no obligation to assist me. Do you understand?Ó
She
nodded.
ÒDid
Doctor Chapel say what it was I might wish to discuss with you?Ó
ÒNo,
sir.Ó
ÒI
need expertise in the throwing of a Mardi Gras
party. Do you feel you have that
expertise?Ó
ÒOh,
yes, sir. IÕve been doing that
since I was a kid. We have a huge
family. My mom always needed help
with the parties. How many people?Ó
He
lifted an eyebrow. ÒWould it deter
you if I said the entire ship?Ó
ÒWow. Okay. Hmmm.Ó She thought about it, didnÕt blurt out
an answer, which he appreciated.
ÒIÕll need help. May I
commandeer volunteers?Ó
ÒYou
realize those words are mutually opposed?Ó
She
grinned, no blush in evidence.
ÒJust a phrase my mom used to say.Ó
ÒYou
may recruit volunteers. There will
be no commandeering for an optional event.
Is that understood?Ó
ÒYes,
sir.Ó She handed him a padd. ÒDoctor Chapel said I if I agreed to do
anything over and above, I should ask you to read this.Ó
He
glanced down at the padd, unsure what he would see. Then he started to read more
carefully. A few minutes later he
met her eyes. ÒThis is most
unexpected.Ó
ÒDoctor
Chapel is mentoring me on it. IÕm
working on my doctorate from here.
She said you might have some insights on this?Ó
ÒIndeed,
I do.Ó He handed her back the
padd. ÒI look forward to discussing
this with you.Ó
She blushed again, but this time he thought it was a pleased blush not an
embarrassed one. ÒThank you, sir.Ó
ÒThank
you. For helping me with my
project.Ó He left her with a nod,
found himself walking down to sickbay.
Doctor
Chapel was in her office, the door open, and she looked up as he
approached. ÒYou feeling okay?Ó
He
nodded and gestured to one of her guest chairs. ÒMay I sit?Ó
ÒOf
course.Ó
ÒI
met with LaRue.Ó
ÒAhhh, that explains the acquisitive look in your eye. Showed you her dissertation outline, did
she?Ó
ÒShe
did. She also said you were helping
her with it. Why did you ask her to
show it to me?Ó
ÒI
think her line of specialty is more in your wheelhouse than mine, Spock. And you can never have too many mentors
when theyÕre brilliant like we are.Ó
She laughed as if she was kidding.
ÒWe
are brilliant.Ó
ÒWell,
I know you think you are. But IÕve
never gotten the feeling you thought I was.Ó
ÒThat
was undoubtedly a mistake on my part.Ó
She
frowned, as if that comment surprised her and not in a good way. ÒWhatÕs up your sleeve? You need some other favor?Ó
ÒCan
I not admit I may have underestimated you without you assuming the worst?Ó
ÒWell,
itÕs unexpected, but I guess you can.Ó
She leaned in. ÒYou have my
blessing to take over LaRueÕs mentoring, Spock. We donÕt have to work on it
together.Ó She started to scroll
through a padd, and he had a feeling she was doing it more to look busy than
because she really needed to be reading it.
ÒI
do not have many friends on this ship.Ó
ÒDonÕt
be silly. You have tons of
friends. People would die for
you. Women swoon where you walk.Ó She grinned at him. ÒBelieve me, I used to tally up the
competition.Ó
ÒThat
is not what I meant. The meld with VÕger. It left me...empty. I have Jim. He is a true friend. And to some extent the
others on the command crew.
But I do not...talk to them as a friend would. We are...colleagues who are friendly.Ó
ÒDo
Vulcans have friends?Ó
ÒThey
do. That is the irony. I have always worried I would be judged
for my human half if I reached out too much for friendship. And yet I have noticed that other
Vulcans do have strong relationships.Ó
ÒAnd
you suddenly want to be bestest buds with me?Ó
He
took a deep breath. ÒDo you not
wish to be my friend?Ó
ÒSpock,
I recently gave up on you? Cut a
girl a break.Ó She laughed
softly. ÒI think this is just
transference. You know I was beaten
up trying to keep you conscious in that holding cell and now you feel
responsible. But IÕm fine. So no worries, all right?Ó
He
got up slowly. ÒYou do not wish to
be friends?Ó
ÒSpock,
go be friends with Len.Ó She smiled
mildly at him, and he thought she was trying to—how did Jim put it? Oh yes, let him down gently.
ÒThank
you again for pointing me to LaRue.Ó He left before he felt any stranger
around her.
Is
this how he used to make her feel?
##
Spock
moved his chess pieces carefully, relishing that he seemed to have Jim locked
into check no matter what move he made next. He heard loud laughter, looked over to
the other side of the rec lounge and saw a group who had clearly had too much
to drink. Doctor Chapel was with
them.
Jim
seemed to follow his gaze. ÒThere a
reason youÕre staring at her instead of making a move? I just evaded your careful little trap.Ó
Spock
turned his attention back to the board, saw that Jim had, indeed, extricated
himself from check with a move Spock had not seen—how had he not seen it?
ÒYou
seem preoccupied, my friend. She
the reason?Ó Jim seemed to be
trying very hard to keep a smile off his face. ÒBecause the irony at this point is
almost too rich.Ó
ÒIt
is never too late—you have said that many times.Ó
ÒSpock,
sheÕs with Lieutenant Commander Lindsey.
DidnÕt you know that?Ó
ÒLindsey? From Astrophysics?Ó
ÒThat
would be the one.Ó
Spock
picked him out in the group of drunken revelers. Tall, dark hair, lean
body. ÒHe looks like me.Ó
Jim
laughed softly. ÒNothing wrong with
your ego. So, she has a type. Many women do. Hell, I do.Ó He made a face. ÒAnd you know, sheÕd sort of be it, if I
think very hard about it.Ó
ÒDo
not think very hard about it, then,Ó Spock said, his gaze still on
Lindsey. ÒHe is a capable
officer. Very intelligent.Ó
ÒLike
I said. She has a type. Are you going to make your move or not?Ó
Spock
turned back to the board. ÒI am not
interested in her, Jim.Ó
ÒNo,
of course not. You always interrupt
your game to stare at her and ponder the nature of her romantic entanglements.Ó
ÒShe
has more than one?Ó
Jim
closed his eyes and exhaled slowly.
ÒFigure of speech. Just make
a damn move.Ó
Spock
studied the board, found the move that would put Jim back in check and played
it. ÒVÕger
left me considering that my friendship with you should not be an anomaly. I do not mean that I intend to try to
recreate the type of bond that you and I share, but that I should have more
people in my life who I consider friends.Ó
ÒProbably
a healthy idea.Ó Jim smiled. ÒAnd you intend to start with the woman
who has nursed—excuse the pun—a crush on you all these years,
rather than Bones or Scotty or, if you crave a female friend, Uhura?Ó
ÒYou
disapprove of her as a friend?Ó
ÒNot
at all. I just am...fascinated by
your choice.Ó He smiled and moved
his piece. ÒSafe again. Your game is off, no question about it.Ó
Spock
took a deep breath. ÒShe no longer
pursues me.Ó
ÒYes,
I know. IÕm glad of that. Is that why you want to pursue her? You only want what you canÕt have?Ó
Spock
stared at him.
ÒWhat? I have tons of friends like that. They love the challenge and then once
they capture, theyÕre done. Are you
that guy? Because that guy is
usually an ass.Ó
ÒI
am not.Ó
ÒAre
you sure? Because this is damned
odd, Spock.Ó
Spock
sat back and tried his hardest not to look over to where Doctor Chapel was
sitting.
ÒDo
this for me. Start with Bones or
Scotty and leave Christine out of this for now. YouÕre confused. SheÕs happy. Just...let her be happy. All right?Ó
ÒShe
did not mention Commander Lindsey to me.
Not once, Jim. Is that not
significant?Ó
ÒLike
the many times you gushed about TÕPring to all of us? Some people are more private.Ó Jim shook his head. ÒWill you promise me youÕll start your
friendship campaign with someone other than Christine?Ó
Spock
nodded.
ÒGood.Ó Jim moved his queen. ÒCheckmate.Ó
##
Spock
sat alone in the science lab, working on an experiment
he had previously not had time for.
He heard the door open, a soft voice say,
ÒThere you are.Ó
Christine.
He
frowned. When had he started to
think of her as Christine rather than Doctor Chapel? ÒI am working.Ó He could tell his voice sounded
tentative.
She
sat down next to him, apparently unconcerned by his brush-off. ÒLaRue wanted
me to tell you about one of the naughtier points of Mardi Gras. She was too embarrassed to do it. But she thinks we need to set some
ground rules.Ó
He
turned to look at her.
ÒWeÕre
assuming you want to go all out. A mini parade?
Throwing of the beads?Ó
ÒIf
that is the spirit of Mardi Gras, then yes.Ó He had told Jim about the party. Jim was excited. Spock wanted to make him happy, and he
imagined authentic would accomplish that.
ÒGood. Well, then, the seamier side of the bead
throwing ritual is that often some people end up with many and others end up
with few. Basic principle of
scarcity.Ó
ÒAccepted.Ó
ÒThere
are remedies for that. Those who
have are willing to share...for a price.Ó
ÒAnd
the price?Ó
ÒA
view of genitalia—generally womenÕs breasts.Ó
Spock
let his eyebrow rise very high.
ÒThat would be most irregular.Ó
ÒAgreed. Therefore the ground
rules. But the clarion call
ofÓ—she took a deep breath, her face turning red—ÒÔShow me your
titsÕ is pretty well know by most Earthers. So we need to get it established early
that this wonÕt be tolerated.Ó
Spock
imagined the all-hands message advertising the event, with the postscript of
some bureaucratic version of what she had just said.
ÒYou
still with me?Ó
ÒI
am envisioning the wording. ÒNo
cries of ÔDisplay mammary appendagesÕ will be tolerated.Ó Will that get the message across?Ó
She
laughed. ÒIÕll work on it and run
it by you, howÕs that?Ó
ÒThank
you.Ó
She
nodded and he turned back to the microscope. He noticed she didnÕt get up.
ÒWas
there something else?Ó he asked, without looking up.
ÒIÕve
seen you in the mess with different people. Len. Ny.
Guess Operation ÔFind a FriendÕ is in full swing?Ó
He
thought she sounded the slightest bit put out. ÒAs you suggested, Doctor McCoy was
excellent company.Ó
ÒAnd
Ny?Ó She sounded different—it
took him a moment to identify the sound in her voice as jealousy.
ÒMost
pleasant to be around.Ó In truth,
theyÕd had less to talk about than heÕd thought they would.
ÒGreat.Ó She sounded even more jealous.
ÒYou
did not tell me you were seeing Commander Lindsey.Ó
ÒYou
didnÕt ask.Ó She was moving things
around on the table, as if she was suddenly nervous.
ÒHe
seems a fine man.Ó
ÒHe
is.Ó
ÒMay
I point something out that you will not like?Ó
ÒI
donÕt know.Ó
He
waited.
ÒFine,
what?Ó
ÒHe
looks like me. He is known to be
intelligent. He works in the
sciences. Now who is transferring?Ó
There
was a moment of silence, and then she got up slowly. ÒUnlike you, he is fully capable of
feeling and showing emotion. Unlike
you, he actually finds me attractive and acts on that attraction. Unlike you, he makes me feel good about
myself. Unlike you—Ó
ÒYes,
I understand. I am lacking in all
aspects.Ó
ÒYes. Yes, you damn well are.Ó
He
pulled away from the microscope.
ÒThat may well be. But there
was no reason for you to come to me just now. You and I both know that no one on this
crew would yell out what you just said when their commanding officer and the
rest of the command staff was in the room.
You used that as an excuse to come see me. Why, I do not know, but you did. So I may be lacking, but clearly you
wish to spend time with me.Ó
She
stared at him. ÒIÕm in love with
Patrick.Ó
ÒThen
I wish you every happiness with him.Ó
He did not look away.
She
turned on her heel and hurried out.
He
tried to get back to his experiment but found he could not concentrate.
##
A
soft chime at the door to SpockÕs quarters interrupted his after-dinner
meditations. ÒCome,Ó he said
softly.
LaRue walked in. Even
in the low light, he could tell she was blushing, but she had her shoulders
back and her head high. ÒI owe you
an apology, sir.Ó
ÒFor...?Ó
ÒFor
asking Doctor Chapel to do something I was too uncomfortable to do.Ó
ÒAt
ease, Ensign.Ó
She
didnÕt relax very much. ÒShe came
back very angry. Said you did not
think my concerns had much merit. I
decided that I should come and explain myself to you, explain why I even
brought it up.Ó
He
gestured to the other side of his meditation mat. ÒPlease sit.Ó
She
sat.
ÒSo
that particular saying is, in fact, used at Mardi Gras?Ó he asked.
ÒOh,
yes, sir. ItÕs as ubiquitous as
singing Take Me Out to the Ballgame
at baseball games.Ó She finally
seemed to relax. ÒI wanted you to
know because last year I took a group of classmates from the academy home with
me for Mardi Gras. They were...taken aback by the
ritual. They were even more
surprised when they recognized some Starfleet officers in the
crowd—officers who were yelling that very thing.Ó
Spock
could feel his eyebrow rising.
ÒItÕs
private time, Mardi Gras is, and not a Starfleet venue—I can see how you
might think that this wonÕt happen onboard ship, and youÕre probably
right. But IÕve seen people who
otherwise are staid and, well, boring go a little insane over cheap plastic
beads. I just wanted you to be
prepared. But I should have told
you myself. Doctor Chapel didnÕt
have the context to make my case very well, and IÕm sorry I put her in that
position.Ó
He
nodded. ÒI appreciate you clearing
this up. How angry with you was
she?Ó
LaRue shot him a look he couldnÕt read. ÒI didnÕt get the feeling I was the one
she was mad at, sir.Ó
Spock
looked down, afraid she would see the slight tick up of his lips. The girl was astute in so many
ways. ÒAside from our problem of
potential nudity as a form of barter, is everything else in order?Ó
She
laughed. ÒYes, sir. I have king cakes on order from the
galley. I have various sections
serving as the different krewes and working up mini
floats using the anti-gravs—it is all right to
requisition those for this, isnÕt it?Ó
He
thought about that. He wanted to
make up abandoning Jim for Gol, and while this was
probably overcompensating and using shipÕs resources in a way not entirely
regulation, Jim was so delighted, he found he just didnÕt care. ÒIt is fine, Ensign.Ó
ÒGood,
because the floats are going to be amazing.Ó She pushed herself to her feet. ÒOh, and I thought synthehol
only for this. Antitox
works faster on that if we need to go to alert quickly.Ó
ÒAgreed. I appreciate all you are doing for
this. I will note it in the morale
section of your evaluation.Ó
ÒJust
leave out all the parts where IÕm maybe not quite regulation.Ó Her grin was infectious; it reminded him
of his motherÕs.
ÒYes,
of course.Ó He watched her leave,
then took a deep breath and rose, walked over to his desk, and commed Christine.
She
answered immediately. ÒChapel
here.Ó
He
realized Lindsey might be with her.
ÒIt is Spock.Ó How she
answered would tell him if she was alone.
ÒWhat
can I do for you, sir?Ó Ah, not
alone.
ÒEnsign
LaRue was just here. She cleared up that matter from
earlier. I apologize. I misread the data presented.Ó
There
was a long silence. Then, ÒNo
problem. Anything else, sir?Ó
ÒNo. That is all. Enjoy your evening.Ó
ÒI
plan to, sir.Ó
He
could feel the knife go in, as she no doubt intended. What he did not understand was when he
had become vulnerable to her. How
had this happened?
ÒSpock
out.Ó He cut the connection before
she could.
##
Spock
tried to avoid Christine for several days.
It was, he thought, the height of irony that in trying to avoid her, he
seemed to run across her everywhere he went. She would see him and head the opposite
direction, often with an annoyed look as if he were deliberately tracking her.
It
reminded him of all the times on their first five-year mission, when he had
rounded a corner and would find her coming toward him, a look of dismay
crossing her face—had she been trying to avoid him, as well? And had he misinterpreted it as
interest?
He
opted to return to his regular habits.
If he saw Christine, so be it.
If not, that was even more agreeable. They had no reason to interact. She had told him she did not wish to be
friends. Jim had told him to leave
her alone. He would listen to them
both.
He
turned the corner, headed for the mess and nearly collided with Christine and
Lindsey. They were arguing about
something, and he excused himself and walked around them. Surely they could find a better place to
argue than in the middle of a main corridor?
The
mess was nearly full, but a group of crewman vacated a table for
him—probably before they were done with their conversation, but their
plates were empty so he did not attempt to dissuade them. He saw Christine and Lindsey come in. Lindsey filled his tray and left, but
Christine looked around, saw Spock sitting and walked over.
ÒYou
want a damn friend so much?Ó
He
was unsure how to answer that.
ÒCan
I sit?Ó
He
nodded.
She
slid into the chair across from him.
ÒWhy are you all such idiots?Ó
He
presumed she did not mean Vulcans.
ÒMen?Ó
She
nodded as she proceeded to remove everything healthy from the pre-made
sandwich. The lettuce came off,
then the tomato, the pickle on the plate was dumped
onto the tray. Leaving her with
just cheese and bread and spread.
ÒIf you comment on my eating habits, you will be wearing this tomato.Ó
He
had to give her credit for fair warning.
ÒWhy
did you choose to sit with me if you are angry with your...?Ó What was the right word for
Lindsey? Lover seemed wrong. Beau was old fashioned although his
mother often used it.
ÒMy
moron of a boyfriend?Ó
Ah,
that was the word.
ÒBecause
IÕm a masochist. I havenÕt gotten
my minimum daily allowance of stupid male yet.Ó She sliced her sandwich in half with
more gusto than Spock was really comfortable with. ÒThank you, by the way, for
apologizing. That was big of you.Ó
ÒYouÕre
welcome.Ó
ÒBut
why the hell couldnÕt you wait till I was working to do it? What the hell were you thinking?Ó
He
was unsure what to say.
ÒWhat
do you think Patrick and I were just fighting about, huh?Ó
ÒI
have no idea.Ó
ÒYou,
you big dope. WeÕve been fighting
about you ever since you had to call
me in my quarters for a stupid reason that clearly could have waited and made
me get very snotty with you.
Patrick notices things like that.Ó
ÒI
am...sorry?Ó He began to eat his
soup, hoping she would follow suit and let her anger ebb a little.
ÒDid
you really think I just made up a stupid reason like Ôshow me your goddamn
titsÕ to come see you in the lab?
If I want to see you in the lab, IÕll just come see you.Ó She was fortunately keeping her voice
very low, but the repeated jabbing of her finger at him was attracting some
attention.
ÒI
am sorry for that. I have said I
was sorry, and I am sorry.Ó
ÒPatrick
is good friends with Chekov. Pavel gossips like a little old
lady. Especially when
prompted. Guess who prompted him
with lots and lots of vodka for tales of the good old days. ÔTell me about Christine back then. What was she like? Who did she date?ÕÓ Christine took a deep breath. ÒFound all about my stupid, stupid,
stupid crush on you.Ó
Spock
sighed. ÒI am s—Ó
ÒIf
you say ÔIÕm sorryÕ one more time, I will kill you.Ó
He
decided not to remind her that threatening a fellow officer was a court-martial
offense.
She
pushed the tray away from her. ÒIÕm
not even hungry.Ó Her expression
was empty, and he frowned slightly.
He
expected anger or sadness. But not this strange void of emotion. ÒAre you all right?Ó
ÒI
donÕt know. I came back here
because of Decker. And you werenÕt
going to be here. And now you
are. And DeckerÕs not. IÕm not CMO. ItÕs like a replay of everything. Only I found this great guy and now IÕm
losing him because of us.Ó She
started to laugh, and it was a bitter sound. ÒOnly there is
no us. And I canÕt get him to see
that.Ó She shook her head. ÒIÕm sorry, Spock. I shouldnÕt take this out on you. You were just...trying to do the right
thing.Ó
ÒI
was.Ó
She
got up, took her tray. ÒItÕll be
okay.Ó She did not sound as if she
really believed that. ÒItÕll be
fine.Ó
He
watched her walk out of the mess.
She did not look like a woman who thought it would be fine.
##
Spock
found Lindsey in Astrophysics, his lunch tray pushed aside, as uneaten as
ChristineÕs had been.
ÒSir?Ó
Lindsey stood, his look managing to be both surprised and slightly hostile.
ÒAt
ease.Ó Spock saw that there were
several others in the room but far enough away that they could have a private
conversation if they kept their voices pitched low. ÒThis is of a personal nature. Please sit down.Ó
Spock
took the low stool next to LindseyÕs desk.
ÒI want you to know that Christine does not have feelings for me.Ó
The
moment the words left his mouth he could tell they were not the right ones to
use with the man. Lindsey fairly
bristled.
ÒAnd
who told you I thought she did? Did
she tell you that?Ó
Spock
held up his hand. ÒI saw the two of
you in the corridor as I was going into the mess. You came in separately. You left, but she chose to sit with
me. As she is my friendÓ—that
was stretching the truth but the man neednÕt know that—ÒI was worried for
her and asked her to join me.Ó
ÒAnd
she spilled her guts? To you? About
us?Ó Lindsey shook his head, a
smile that was in no way amused playing at his lips. ÒSheÕs a piece of work.Ó
ÒYou
mistake my meaning. I am trying to
make this better.Ó
ÒYouÕre
failing, in case you didnÕt get that message yet.Ó Lindsey leaned forward. ÒFunny thing: she said you two werenÕt friends. Never
had been, never would be. Yet, she
has lunch with you, tells you all our
troubles. And here you are, trying
to patch things up for us. DoesnÕt
quite add up, does it, sir?Ó
Spock
stood, put on his haughtiest Vulcan face.
ÒYou have a woman of good character and superior intelligence,
Lieutenant Lindsey. I suggest you
appreciate her and let this go.Ó He
turned and strode out, hoping that Vulcan dignity would get him further than
trying to help had.
##
The
chime on his quarters rang as he was changing from his uniform to a robe. He finished dressing, ignoring the
repeated buzzings, finally opening the door to find
Christine, who slammed her hand against his chest, pushing him back into his
quarters.
ÒWhat
the hell did you think you were doing?Ó
She shoved him against the wall, seemed to want to do it again for good
measure, but he caught her hand before she connected. ÒYou went to him? Do you hate me or something?Ó
ÒI
admit, the plan was more sound in the planning stage than when executed.Ó
ÒThe
plan? This is my life not some
goddamned plan.Ó She stalked away
from him, pacing his quarters like some caged jungle cat.
He
decided to remain by the door. ÒAs
I seemed to have caused the problem, I wanted to fix it.Ó
ÒSpock,
you didnÕt cause the problem, you are
the problem. DonÕt you get
that?Ó She took a deep breath and
sat down on the bed. ÒWhat in the
hell were you thinking?Ó
ÒI
knew you were hurting.Ó He walked
over, sat down next to her slowly, unsure of what her reaction would be. ÒI wanted to help.Ó
ÒWhy? Why did you want to help? Why couldnÕt you have just ignored
me? YouÕve been so great at that up
to now.Ó
He
had no answer for that.
She
leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. He sat very still, sure that if he moved, he would startle her and cause her to run away.
ÒDid
you really tell him we were friends?Ó
ÒI
did. You, I gather, did not
characterize us as such?Ó
ÒI
sure didnÕt.Ó She sighed. ÒWhat the hell, Spock?Ó
ÒDo
you love him?Ó
In
his estimation, she had to think a very long time before she finally said,
ÒYes.Ó
ÒThen
love will conquer all. Is that not
what human poets say?Ó
ÒHuman
poets donÕt write my love stories.Ó
She pulled away. ÒPlease
promise me you will not try to help me with him anymore, all right?Ó
He
nodded.
ÒAnd
donÕt tell him I was here.Ó
He
frowned slightly. ÒWhy would you
keep this a secret from him?Ó
ÒSpock,
come on. He already thinks
something is going on.Ó
ÒBut
if you are lying to him about us, then perhaps something is.Ó
ÒRight.Ó She moved closer. ÒBecause youÕre suddenly interested in
me after all these years. You
suddenly give a damn who IÕm with and whether or not IÕm happy.Ó
ÒI
do care.Ó
ÒUh
huh.Ó She drew even nearer. ÒAnd if I were to move close enough to
you, youÕd actually be tempted to kiss me.
IÕm supposed to believe that this is even a temptation for you?Ó
She
was angry; her eyes were dilated, her skin flushed. He could feel the heat coming off her,
could smell the light perfume she wore.
ÒIÕm
supposed to believe you give a good goddamn about me,Ó she said as she moved so
close her lips brushed against his with every word.
It
was an easy thing to pull her to him, to open his mouth to hers, to wrap her in
his arms and kiss her. It was an
easier thing to fall back onto the bed as she moaned as they kissed. To pull her half on
top of him, to feel her body molding to his.
Then
she was pulling away, skittering off the bed so fast she fell onto the
floor. ÒWhat in the hell was that?Ó
ÒI
believe it was a kiss.Ó
ÒI
know what it was. Why? What is wrong with you?Ó She got up and stumbled to the door, had
to hit the wall twice before she made contact with the door panel, then was
gone.
Spock
sat on the bed assessing her question.
As far as he could tell, nothing was wrong with him. He had kissed her. He had enjoyed it. And until she had pulled away, she had
seemed to enjoy it, too.
##
The
Mardi Gras party was a great success. To JimÕs delight, heÕd been named Rex
and Spock had felt the honor of Queen should go to the woman whoÕd organized
the event. LaRue
had smiled when heÕd told her.
ÒThis is my second time being queen,Ó sheÕd said. ÒMama will be so proud.Ó They led in the parade of floats, tiny
in comparison he supposed to the real things, but the crew seemed to appreciate
them nonetheless. Especially since
they had been fitted with small cannon that spit out the purple, green, and
gold beads that LaRue had feared might turn
problematic.
It
had been a very uncomfortable section head meeting, but Spock had addressed the
issue in no uncertain terms, using his best Vulcan persona. There would be no problems or the
section chief of the troublemaker would find him- or herself on report as
well.
Jim
walked over, a tall, red drink in his hand. ÒGreat party. Thank you, my friend.Ó
ÒI
am sorry for leaving for Gol with no explanation.Ó
Jim
took a sip of his drink through the purple straw. ÒOr at all?Ó
ÒI
cannot regret the journey for it led me back to the Enterprise and you.Ó
ÒAwww, if I didnÕt know better, IÕd think youÕd been sucking
some of these back. So, IÕm
guessing that Christine must be in that corner over there. ItÕs the one place you are studiously
not looking.Ó Jim glanced over. ÒYep, there she is. Wow, she and Lindsey are either very
drunk or on their last legs as a couple.Ó
Spock
looked over at them. They were
practically having sex standing up.
ÒI do not follow, Jim. They
are clearly passionate about each other.Ó
ÒThat
much passion in public? Never a good sign.
Death knell often. You see it all the time with
celebrities.Ó
ÒI
do not follow celebrities.Ó He was
a little appalled that Jim did.
ÒSometimes
you need a break from the wars and disasters and politics.Ó He winked at Spock. ÒPlus, you never know, one of those
actresses might break free and I am a hero. I might have a chance with one of them.Ó He turned away from watching Christine
and Lindsey. ÒYou are staying away
from her, right?Ó
ÒI
am.Ó This was not a lie. Since the debacle that had been his
attempt to help, he had stayed away.
It had been a week since he had spoken to her or Lindsey.
Thinking
about her—that was much harder to control.
ÒGood. ThatÕs the Vulcan willpower I like to
see.Ó Jim touched his
shoulder. ÒYou didnÕt have to throw
this party for me, but IÕm really glad you did. Now excuse me while I get rollicking
drunk.Ó
Spock
pulled him back for a moment. ÒDo I
need to lecture you on the inappropriateness of yelling Òshow me your—ÕÓ
ÒSpock,
really? IÕm the captain.Ó He looked offended for a moment, then the grin came back. ÒI do have to say I was on the floor
when Bones was telling me about that particular section head meeting. It was the way you phrased the saying in
question that had me howling.Ó
ÒI
merely changed the vernacular to something less...rude. Everyone seemed to understand my
meaning.Ó
ÒOh,
they got it.Ó He grinned. ÒI would have killed to be in
there. IÕd have loved to see
NelsonÕs face.Ó
Spock
could feel his lips tick up almost against his will. Their new security chief showed no
flexibility in his thinking. ÒHe
was...taken aback.Ó
ÒAnd
thatÕs probably putting it mildly.
Okay, Mother, now that youÕve given me the talk, may I go get drunk?Ó
ÒYes. Go.Ó Spock watched him wander off, then moved off to a corner of the rec lounge where he could
be part of things without having to interact with anyone. He sat and anticipated when he could
escape to the sanctuary of his quarters.
Not soon enough, he was afraid.
He
saw LaRue coming toward him, a Hurricane in both
hands. She tried to hand him one,
but he shook his head.
ÒRelax,
thereÕs no rum in it. Just fruit juice.
I didnÕt figure you for a drinker.Ó
Once he took it, she sat down in the chair next to him.
ÒAs
Queen, should you not be mingling?Ó
ÒI
am mingling. IÕm mingling with
you.Ó She nodded at the drink. ÒAt least try it. I made it myself. Went light on the sugar—I know
Vulcans arenÕt that fond of it.Ó
He
took a tentative sip, then a bigger one.
ÒIt is good.Ó
ÒOf
course itÕs good. The Queen made
it.Ó She turned and looked over at
the corner where Christine was carrying on with Lindsey. ÒThat seems out of character.Ó
ÒHow
well do you know Doctor Chapel?Ó
ÒWell,
we donÕt socialize if thatÕs what youÕre implying, but IÕve seen her enough
times in here to know sheÕs usually not all over him.Ó
She
put a curious spin on him.
ÒYou
do not like him?Ó
ÒHeÕs
okay. But if she wants someone who
looks like you, why doesnÕt she just go for you? ItÕs not like you would be opposed to
that, right?Ó She sipped her drink
and met his eyes. Hers were
dancing—he could think of no other word to describe the gleam in
them. ÒMy mama had a gift,
Spock. I can call you that seeing
as how this is a party? A party that I organized on your behalf? My nameÕs Zelime,
by the way. You should call me
that, seeing as how I did you all these big-time favors.Ó
He
almost smiled at her nerve—no more blushing in evidence.
ÒSo
my mama, her gift—some called it the sight—I may have gotten some
of that. Can see whatÕs going on
with my mentors.Ó
ÒYour
mentors lives are not your concern, Zelime. ChristineÕs choices are her own to
make.Ó
It
was as if she hadnÕt heard him.
ÒShe used to like you.
ThatÕs what IÕve heard.Ó
He
did not answer.
ÒHeard
maybe you didnÕt like her back.
Think thatÕs changed a bit.Ó
She leaned back, put her feet up on the table, and sipped her drink. ÒIÕm Queen of the Mardi Gras,
Spock. I can say what I want except
to Rex and heÕs nowhere to be found—oh wait, there he is. Is he trying to climb the wall of the
lounge?Ó
Spock
took a deep breath. ÒHe is a good
climber.Ó
ÒDamn
well hope so.Ó She smiled. ÒAnyway, since talking about emotional
things is going to give you hives, letÕs talk about my dissertation. I made the changes you recommended, but
IÕm at a crossroads and IÕd like to talk over the options. Agreeable or not?Ó
ÒMost
agreeable.Ó
As
she launched into her various potential paths with her project, he found
himself yet again admiring the quick mind Christine had found and
nurtured—and passed on to him to mentor.
The quick mind that was seeing things very clearly, on all
fronts.
##
Spock
was debating eating in the mess or taking his dinner to the lab when he saw
Christine in a booth in the far corner.
Alone. She did not look
happy.
She
and Lindsey had been at opposite sides of the rec lounge each time he and Jim
had played chess since the Mardi Gras party. He had not commented but Jim had murmured,
ÒSee, told you,Ó after the third time.
ÒKiss oÕdeath.Ó
Spock
walked over to her booth, and she looked up as he approached. ÒIf I am not welcome, I will leave,Ó he
said as gently as he could.
She
had to think about that, her face as expressionless as TÕPauÕs. ÒYouÕre not welcome,Ó she finally said.
It
was not the answer he expected, and it took him longer than it should have to
turn and walk out. He took his
dinner to his quarters instead of the lab, knowing that he would not be able to
concentrate.
She
had just told him to go away. But
he knew she wanted him. And that
she was almost certainly finished with Lindsey.
He
ate and meditated, failing to find his center and hating to admit that it was
because he expected his chime to ring, that it would be her at his door. That he wanted it to be her at his door.
His
chime did not ring. She did not
come.
He
saw her in the mess alone the next day.
He did not go over to her. Nor the day after that.
The
day after that, Lindsey was back at her table. They looked wary together and were
having an intense conversation, but Spock felt a pang. They were still together. Jim and LaRue
were wrong.
He
decided he wasnÕt hungry and went back to work.
##
Spock
woke in Sickbay, his midsection was numb, which he took to mean heÕd taken a
hit with some kind of weapon. Two
people were talking softly above him, so he kept his eyes closed and listened
in—it was, he had found, the best way to get information about his
condition: doctors told him nothing but would often candidly discuss his
prognosis if they thought he was asleep.
ÒHe
zigged when he should have zagged.Ó A male voice. Jim. Angry.
ÒAnd
you think thatÕs my fault?Ó
Christine. Also angry.
ÒWell,
it sure as hell isnÕt mine. HeÕs
been distracted.Ó
ÒWhy
are you blaming me? I donÕt know
why he suddenly decided to be interested in me, Jim.Ó
Jim? She called him Jim in private?
ÒChris,
for GodÕs sake. I think heÕs
actually serious about this. What are
you doing with Lindsey if you can have what you really want?Ó
ÒWhat
if itÕs just a phase? A post VÕger phase?Ó
ÒVÕger was a while ago.Ó
ÒHe
threw you a Mardi Gras party because he felt guilty. He let Zelime
requisition both anti-gravs and cannon just to make
you smile. You donÕt call that out
of the ordinary?Ó
ÒSo,
heÕs still a little emotionally open.
Chris, go with it.Ó
Spock
realized Jim was calling Christine by a name he never used when he was
referring to her around Spock. Just
how well did they know each other?
ÒJim,
youÕre my friend. And I love
you. And you know that. DonÕt trade on that affection this way. Spock does not love me. He does not want me—or if he does,
itÕs not for the right reasons. If
heÕs distracted, I canÕt help that.
Or...I can transfer off—would that help?Ó
There
was movement above him. Spock
peeked and saw that Jim had taken her hand. ÒI donÕt want you to transfer off. Just...give him a chance.Ó
ÒAnd
become a bigger laughingstock?Ó
ÒNo
oneÕs laughing, Chris. Especially now.
He nearly died. DonÕt you
give a damn about that?Ó
ÒOf
course I give a damn. IÕm in love
with him. I always have been and I
probably always will be. ItÕs my
goddamned curse and you know it.Ó
ÒThen
why get back with Lindsey?Ó
ÒBecause
itÕs nice to be wanted.Ó She sighed
and turned—Spock closed his eyes again. ÒHis vitals are good. Are you going to stay here for a while?Ó
ÒYeah.Ó
ÒIÕm
going to grab a shower, then. After
two days I donÕt smell so good.Ó
Spock
felt her hand on his shoulder.
ÒI
do love him,Ó she said, then she lifted her hand off him and he heard her
footsteps fading away.
ÒYou
can quit pretending to be asleep, Spock.Ó
He
opened his eyes in surprise. ÒYou
knew?Ó
ÒI
realized you were peeking at us.Ó
Jim pulled up a stool. ÒWe
were pretty far into the conversation at that point—I wasnÕt sure which
was worse, to let her know you were listening or to let her go on. And I thought you could stand to hear
what she had to say.Ó
ÒShe
loves me.Ó
ÒDo
you love her? Because if you donÕt,
weÕre going to have to come up with a plan where you donÕt ruin my friendÕs
life.Ó
ÒWhen
did she become your friend? You
call her Chris. She calls you Jim.Ó
ÒWe
became friends on Earth, when you werenÕt around.Ó Jim sighed. ÒBones was gone. The rest of the crew
on the ship. She was on
Earth. Lori and I had just
divorced. Chris and I had stress to
relieve. SheÕs a lot of fun.Ó
ÒDefine
fun.Ó
Jim
laughed. ÒNot the bumping uglies kind.Ó
Spock
frowned, not understanding.
ÒWe
didnÕt have sex. We just had
fun. Primarily because, even though
you were gone and likely to never come back, she still loved you. I was actually glad when she seemed to
be falling for Lindsey, even if he did look too much like you for my liking.Ó
ÒYou
said some women had a type.Ó
ÒAnd
some do. But IÕve seen Doctor
Korby. He looked nothing like you.Ó
ÒAh.Ó
ÒYeah. So, what is going on? Do you have feelings for her?Ó
Spock
didnÕt hesitate. ÒI do.Ó
Jim
looked surprised. ÒOkay, then. You should know she hasnÕt left your
side in two days. Lindsey is angry. TheyÕre on the verge of collapse as a
couple, and I suggest you help that along by being extra needy in the care and
feeding department.Ó
Spock
was confused.
Jim
rolled his eyes. ÒNo matter how
good youÕre feeling, pretend you need her help. Use the time to get to know her. SheÕll give it to you gladly because she
loves you. ItÕll drive him
nuts. HeÕll try to get her to leave
you and spend time with him. SheÕll
balk at being told what to do.
ThatÕll be that. And then
the rest is up to you. Oh and one
more thing: you break her heart and youÕll answer to me. Are we clear?Ó
Spock
nodded, a bit overwhelmed.
Jim
patted him on the shoulder. ÒGood
boy.Ó
##
Spock
didnÕt have to pretend to be weak, just eating the meal the nurse brought him
drained him.
Christine
walked over after the nurse took the tray away, scanned him, and said, ÒHow are
you feeling?Ó
ÒWeak.Ó
She
looked at him in open amazement.
ÒAnd youÕre admitting it?Ó
ÒIt
is disconcerting to feel this way after such a simple task.Ó
She
pulled up a stool. ÒYou took a
direct hit to the lower chest. We
thought we were going to lose you.
We reconstructed a great deal.
ItÕs why you feel so numb in your torso. No task is simple right now, Spock.Ó
ÒI
see.Ó He met her eyes. ÒI wish to say something.Ó
She
nodded.
ÒI
am sorry for any trouble I have caused you. I did not mean to. I care for you. I would not bring you pain.Ó
She
smiled gently. ÒThose are the
painkillers talking.Ó
ÒNo,
those are my words carried by my voice.Ó
She
started to get up.
ÒStay
with me. Please? We will not speak of this if it upsets
you. But I am...Ó
ÒBored?Ó
He
nodded.
She
laughed softly and sat back down.
ÒWell, never let it be said I made you choose between me or
boredom.Ó She rolled her eyes as if
laughing at herself.
ÒHow
did you meet Ensign LaRue?Ó he asked, trying to steer
them to mutually agreeable ground.
Christine
grinned. ÒIn line in the mess
hall. She was berating the cook
over his jambalaya. Said it wasnÕt
fit to feed livestock. When sheÕs
not in awe of someone, sheÕs a little light on social filters.Ó
ÒI
have noticed a tendency to speak her mind.Ó
Christine
laughed. ÒOh yes. I like that about her. Anyway, we struck up a conversation
about NewAwlins—the right way to say it, of
course—and then she started talking about her studies, and I just had
this urge to take her under my wing.
Until I realized I was in over my head and sheÕd be better off with
you.Ó She smiled and it was a
strange smile.
ÒWhat
does that expression mean?Ó
ÒI
was staying away from you. I told
her to approach you, but she was too shy to do it on her own. I wanted to introduce her to you, but I knew
youÕd think it was an excuse to see you.
But then we got captured and you needed an expert on her home town and
voila, I could give you Zelime with a clear
conscience.Ó
ÒAnd
IÕm gratified you did. She has an
agile mind and thinks outside the box.Ó
ÒSpock,
she kicks the box and makes it cry.Ó
He
let his lips tick up. ÒI believe
you are right.Ó
ÒItÕs
funny, sheÕs so young that she makes me feel old. But sheÕs so good that she makes me feel
hopeful and young. Does that make
sense?Ó
ÒIt
does. Seeing the next generation
coming after us, knowing we are helping to mold them, shape them, it is deeply
satisfying.Ó
ÒIt
is.Ó
They
shared a look, a satisfied smile.
ÒChristine.Ó A bark of a sound. Almost a command.
Spock
looked over at the door of the private room heÕd been given. Lindsey stood in the doorway. Not happy.
ÒIÕm
with a patient, Commander.Ó
Rank. Excellent.
ÒYouÕre
with him. Give the lying a rest.Ó
ÒCommander,
your attitude is unacceptable.
Doctor Chapel is merely doing her job. As this is neither lunch nor after
shift, I suggest you return to Astrophysics and do the same.Ó
He
thought Lindsey might launch himself onto the bed, wondered how well his
injuries would withstand that, but Christine got up and stood between
them. ÒGo back to work,
Patrick. And grow the hell up. We were just talking.Ó
Lindsey
studied her, managed to ignore Spock to the point where he felt as if he wasnÕt
in the room. ÒI am so sick of you.Ó
She
crossed her arms over her chest but said nothing.
ÒIÕm
so sick of all of this.Ó
She
shrugged.
ÒI
canÕt do this. YouÕre enough to
drive anyone crazy. Do you even
know how to love?Ó He turned to
Spock. ÒYou two deserve each
other.Ó He walked out slowly, as if
he couldnÕt care less that heÕd just broken up with Christine or insulted the
shipÕs first officer.
ÒChristine,
I am so—Ó
ÒSay
youÕre sorry, and I will gag you.Ó
He
wisely shut up.
ÒI
hate you right now, Spock.Ó
ÒI
did not do anything. We were merely
talking as you pointed out to him.Ó
She
glared at him. ÒDonÕt try logic on
me. IÕm in no mood.Ó She walked to her office, her boots
clicking heavily on the floor.
McCoy
came out of his office, took a quick look into her office, seemed to not like
what he saw, and then walked over to Spock. ÒSo, whatÕd you do now?Ó
ÒWhy
must it always be my fault that she is upset?Ó
ÒNo
reason, except that it usually is.Ó
McCoy grinned and patted him on the arm. ÒYou two do keep things lively in here,
thatÕs for sure. You think youÕre
ever going to stop dancing around each other and just admit what you want.Ó
Spock
refused to dignify that with an answer.
McCoy
just laughed and went back to his office.
##
Christine
was off shift when Lindsey returned to Sickbay. He was the picture of Starfleet perfection
as he handed Spock a padd. ÒIÕd
like to transfer off.Ó
ÒAre
you sure? This is the flagship.Ó
ÒThereÕs
an opening on the Capella Array. IÕve been invited to join.Ó
ÒThat
is an excellent opportunity.Ó
ÒYes,
it is. But then IÕm an excellent
officer, Commander. I apologize
that youÕve had little opportunity to see that.Ó
Spock
shifted slightly on the biobed, suddenly feeling at a
disadvantage lying down when the man was being so formal. ÒDoctor Chapel tends to only pick
brilliant men. I have no doubt you
are both highly intelligent and competent.Ó
ÒAmazing
how you packed a compliment and a dig into that statement, sir. Since she fell for you before she did
me.Ó Lindsey was staring past
Spock, at a point on the wall, still at attention.
ÒIt
is, indeed, a gift.Ó Spock approved
the transfer request. ÒThe Capella Array will be lucky to have you.Ó
Lindsey
took the padd, finally met SpockÕs eyes.
ÒPermission to speak freely, sir?Ó
ÒYes. And at ease.Ó
Lindsey
relaxed. ÒWhy now? You had more than five years to get her
from what IÕve heard. I actually
care for her.Ó
Spock
nodded, giving the man the courtesy of a thoughtful answer. ÒWhen I melded with VÕger,
I felt many things I had not felt before.
Coming after a period of attempting to purge all my emotions, the
barrage of emotion was made even more intense.Ó He stopped, unsure how much he wanted to
tell this man—this rival. ÒI
became more open to experiences.Ó
ÒTo
her?Ó
ÒNot
as such. Not until we were captured
on the landing parting. Not until
she was beaten trying to help me.
Not until I felt anger at those who beat her—and anger at myself
for letting her be hurt. It is a
small thing, I know. But all
endeavors start with a single step.Ó
ÒVery
poetic. Except that your endeavor
ruined my relationship.Ó
ÒI
had a prior claim.Ó
ÒWhy? Because she loved you? You never loved her back. ThatÕs hardly first claim.Ó Lindsey took a deep breath, and Spock
found himself admiring the manÕs self control. He also could see more and more how this
man might have reminded Christine of himself.
ÒThese
things are rarely logical, Commander.Ó
ÒThat
is true.Ó Lindsey looked at the
padd as if it held the key to his future, to his happiness, to everything. ÒI hope to God you appreciate what you
have. I may be mad at her, but I
want her to be happy, and I donÕt for a minute think youÕll make her feel that
way.Ó He took a deep breath. ÒAm I dismissed, sir?Ó
ÒYou
are. Best of luck, Commander.Ó
Lindsey
nodded and turned on his heel in a perfect about face and strode out.
Spock
thought about what the man had said until his body demanded sleep and he gave
in to it.
##
When
Christine reported for her shift the next day, she avoided him and he did not
try to catch her eye. Finally, near
the end of her shift, she came over, pulled up a stool, and sat next to him,
taking readings but not acknowledging him in any way.
When
she finished, just as she was getting up, he reached out and put his hand over
hers, holding it for just a moment and murmuring, ÒIÕm sorry heÕs
leaving.Ó Then he let go of her and
looked away, giving her all the space he could.
She
sat back down. They didnÕt
talk. He didnÕt look at her. Long moments passed and then he felt her
hand on his shoulder.
ÒI
picked him because he reminded me of you.Ó
Her voice was dead. Devoid
of any emotion, even the anger sheÕd shown him earlier. ÒThere was, of course, one key
difference.Ó
ÒHe
loved you back.Ó
ÒNo,
he loved me. I never loved
him. Not really.Ó She finally met his eyes. ÒI loved you. I canÕt shake that. I hate that I canÕt shake that. I thought maybe, with him, I could. But it didnÕt work. But for a while, it was
enough—that he loved me. That
he wanted me.Ó She looked
down.
ÒIÕm
sorryÓ came to his lips but he bit it back.
ÒI
donÕt understand. My first love,
when I was a teen. I got over
him. I got over my boyfriend in
college when I was a freshman, and the one I had as a sophomore, too. I got over Roger—hell, I fell in
love with you when I was searching for Roger. Why canÕt I get over you? Is it just that with them, they loved me
back? And I only want what I canÕt
have? YouÕre that perfect
unattainable man?Ó
ÒI
am far from perfect.Ó
She
glared at him. ÒIÕm well aware of
that.Ó
ÒI
was not in any way dismayed to sign his transfer request. In fact, it brought me satisfaction.Ó
She
closed her eyes.
ÒI
want you.Ó
ÒI
donÕt understand that.Ó
He
reached up, touched the cheekbone that had long since healed. ÒThis. This started everything. You were so badly hurt and you thought
only of me.Ó
ÒMaybe
IÕm an idiot with no sense of self-preservation?Ó
He
let his lips tick up into a real smile.
ÒI do not believe that. No
one attains an M.D. in the short amount of time you did by being an idiot with
no sense of self preservation. No one survives under Doctor McCoy, for
that matter, with those characteristics.Ó
She
laughed, and he was suddenly profoundly glad to see her smile, to hear the soft
sound of her amusement.
ÒWhat
do you want from me, Spock?Ó
ÒI
wish for you to be with me.Ó
She
looked away.
ÒIs
this idea abhorrent to you?Ó
She
nodded, but he could tell she was smiling.
ÒYou donÕt even know me.Ó
ÒThen
let me get to know you. You do not
know me, either.Ó
ÒI
imagine I know you better than you know me. Benefits of being obsessed with
someone.Ó
He
held his hand out to her and waited.
She finally took it.
ÒIf
you love me, Christine, and you want this, shouldnÕt we try?Ó
ÒYou
could sell ice to Eskimos.Ó
ÒWhy
would I wish to do th—Ó
He
couldnÕt finish his thought because she had leaned down and was kissing him
gently. Her lips on his felt like
velvet, soft and gentle, and he reached up and ran his fingers through her
hair, making a mess of the bun she wore.
A
soft cough at the door made them pull apart. Jim and McCoy stood there, both trying
to hide amused smiles.
ÒI
need my colleague,Ó McCoy said.
ÒAnd
I need to confer with Spock, if you donÕt mind, Chris? I didnÕt realize he was so bad off he needed
mouth to mouth.Ó He winked at her.
She
blushed. ÒVery goddamned
funny.Ó She looked at Spock. ÒYour breath is fine, sir. Hopefully the tricorder will be working
next time so we can check it more scientifically.Ó
ÒOh,
now thatÕs a good one,Ó McCoy said with a wink at Spock. ÒIÕm gonna use
that the next time I get caught swapping spit with a patient. Oh wait, I never get caught doing that.Ó
Christine whapped him on the arm as she passed him.
As
McCoy walked out, Jim came in and sat down. ÒSo, guess the plan worked.Ó
Spock
nodded.
ÒIs
she a good kisser? I always thought
sheÕd be. SheÕs tends to throw
herself into any activity.Ó
ÒShe
is quite skilled.Ó Should he be
discussing Christine this way?
ÒWell,
good. Look as much as IÕd love to hear
all about you and your lady love, I do need you to
look at this. It showed up on our
sensors and we canÕt figure out what the hell it is.Ó
Spock
took the padd, happy to be useful, but still feeling ChristineÕs lips on his.
He
had not been being charitable in his assessment to Jim. She was, indeed, a very good kisser.
##
She
made her way back to his bedside before the end of her shift. ÒThat was embarrassing.Ó
Spock
studied her, realized she was serious.
ÒI did not find it so.Ó
ÒMaybe
because you werenÕt the one who initiated the kiss.Ó
ÒI
believe that even if I had been, I would not have found it so. They are our friends, are they not?Ó
She
frowned. ÒTheyÕre your
friends. Len is my friend. What makes you think the captain is my
friend?Ó
ÒHe
has told me he is.Ó He met her
eyes, trying to keep any guile out of his, trying not to show her that he had
listened in to a private conversation sheÕd had over a perhaps not-sleeping
patient.
ÒOh,
yeah, that makes sense.Ó She rubbed
her eyes. ÒIÕm so damn tired. I would not have kissed you if I werenÕt
so tired from watching over you.
Love is stupid.Ó
He
reached around, rubbed her back down low, where his often ached when heÕd been
in the lab too long.
ÒOh,
that feels really good. You do not
fight fair.Ó
ÒThis
is not fighting.Ó He lay back,
continued to rub her back. ÒMay I
make a suggestion that is entirely selfless?Ó
She
laughed and nodded.
ÒGo
to the mess, eat a light dinner, then retire early and get some much needed
sleep. You are overtired and not
thinking clearly.Ó
ÒDo
you think IÕll be free of this love by morning?Ó
ÒThat
is doubtful.Ó He focused his
attention a little lower, to the part of her back that seemed to be bothering
her the most—at least from what he could tell from touch telepathy, which
she would also probably think was not fighting fair. ÒDo you wish to be free of it now that
you have me?Ó
ÒI
havenÕt decided that I have you yet.Ó
ÒYou
did kiss me.Ó
ÒI
may be delirious.Ó She moved into
his hand. ÒOh, God, right
there. Oh my God, yes.Ó
ÒMay
I offer something to consider as you make your decision to have me or not?Ó
ÒCan
I stop you?Ó
He
shook his head.
ÒFine,
proceed.Ó
ÒWhat
I am doing here to your back, as good as it feels, I can easily adapt it to other
areas of the body.Ó
She
burst out laughing. But she did not
move away from his hand. ÒYou are
relentless.Ó
ÒWhen
it is something I want, yes, I am.Ó
ÒIÕve
just never been something you wanted.Ó
ÒThings
have changed.Ó
ÒSo
it would seem.Ó She eased away from
his hand. ÒI canÕt think when you
do that.Ó
ÒThat
may have been my intent.Ó
She
laid her hand on his forehead, her skin cool compared to his, her touch very
soft. ÒIÕm going to take your
advice, only I think IÕll skip dinner and just head to bed. IÕm so tired, Spock.Ó
ÒThen
goodnight. I will see you in the
morning.Ó He decided to indulge
himself, pulled her down to him, ready to let her go at the first sign of
resistance, but there was none. He
kissed her this time, and they were not interrupted.
When
he let her back up, she smiled. He
touched her cheek. ÒWe are even
now. We have both been the
instigators.Ó
ÒVery
noble of you to give me that.Ó
ÒI
thought so.Ó He gave her a look he knew
was tender, could tell by the surprise on her face that it was not one she was
expecting. ÒGood night, Christine.Ó
ÒGood
night, Spock.Ó She gave him a tired
smile and left.
##
ÒYou
bored in here yet?Ó LaRue stood at the door. Then she hurried in and startled him
with a careful hug. ÒYou had me
worried sick, Spock.Ó
He
patted her gently on the back. ÒI
am alive.Ó
ÒWell,
yes, I can see that.Ó She backed up
to a more respectable distance.
ÒSorry, I know that was probably out of order, but I happen to think the
world of you.Ó
He
nodded. ÒI will forgive it, then.Ó
She
pulled a padd out of her pocket.
ÒIf you do get bored, I finished it.Ó
He
took it from her. ÒAlready?Ó
ÒWell,
I think itÕs finished.Ó She laughed and gave him an infectious
grin. ÒThat doesnÕt mean youÕll think it is.Ó
ÒI
look forward to reading it.Ó
She
handed him another padd. ÒI brought
you a spare for making notes.
WasnÕt sure if theyÕd given you one down here or not.Ó
ÒMost
kind, Zelime.Ó
ÒTotally
self serving, you mean.Ó She winked
at him. ÒYouÕre only going to make
my dissertation better and help me
prepare to defend it. You knew
about that part, too, right? The
part where you quiz me until I want to slit your throat?Ó
ÒI
would expect no less from a decent mentor.Ó
She
grinned, then it faded. ÒIÕd miss more than just my mentor if
youÕd been killed, Spock. YouÕre
good people. I like you.Ó
He
felt unaccountably touched.
ÒYou
should think about teaching at the academy. You would be amazing.Ó
ÒI
am not warm.Ó
ÒItÕs
not about being warm. ItÕs about
respect. And
believing in us and yourself and the future. All of which you do. IÕm not saying leave now.Ó She grinned. ÒJust, you know, if in the future you
get tired of being on a starship, maybe consider the academy.Ó
ÒI
will remember that. In the
meantime, I will read this paper.
You can expect many notes.Ó
ÒIÕd
feel cheated if there werenÕt many notes.
Get better, Spock. I miss
seeing you around the corridors.Ó She
shot him a last sweet smile and left.
He
read her dissertation at once; he made far fewer notes than he expected.
##
Spock
watched Christine as she moved around his biobed.
ÒStop
it.Ó She was smiling. ÒYouÕre making me nervous.Ó
ÒWhen
will I be released?Ó He knew it
would be later in the day—had heard her tell Jim that a few hours ago,
when sheÕd thought they were out of earshot. But he wanted her to say it to him.
ÒSoon?Ó
ÒSoon
is a word not often heard on Vulcan. It lacks specificity.Ó
She
smiled again. ÒVery soon?Ó
ÒBarely
preferable.Ó
ÒIn
two hours.Ó
ÒAh.Ó He waited until she turned to look at
him. ÒThat is when your shift ends,
I believe.Ó
ÒIt
is.Ó
ÒPerhaps
you would be kind enough to make sure I get safely to my quarters?Ó
ÒDo
you think youÕll get lost? If
thatÕs the case, I should run some more diagnostics.Ó
ÒThat
is not what I meant.Ó
ÒOh,
you think youÕll tire from the walk?
After the physical therapy youÕve been through the last few days? ItÕs a short walk to the turbolift and
then to your quarters. If you feel
thatÕs too much for you, I can reevaluate these discharge orders.Ó
ÒThat
also is not what I meant.Ó
ÒWell,
then, why would you need me to walk you home?Ó
ÒNeed
is the wrong word. Want is the
correct one.Ó He tried to load the
full amount of frustrated intensity he felt into his gaze.
She
took a step back. ÒWhoa.Ó
ÒYou
see the problem?Ó
ÒI
did not realize. Maybe itÕs not
safe for me?Ó
ÒIt
is safe.Ó
ÒWho are you least attracted to on this ship? IÕll have them walk you home?Ó She gave him a devilish grin he found
unbearably attractive.
ÒChristine.Ó
The
grin grew. ÒOh, fine. IÕll walk your sorry ass home. Jeez.Ó She moved over to the bed, touched his
face. ÒYou make it damned hard to
be professional when youÕre like this.
I hope you know that.Ó
He
thought about that. ÒI had not
considered that.Ó
ÒDoes
it bother you that you are a bad influence?Ó
ÒNot
particularly. Perhaps in time it
might.Ó
ÒBut
not until you get what you want?Ó
Her grin faded. ÒAnd what
happens when you get what you want?
Will you still want it?Ó
ÒI
see no reason to think I wonÕt. I
tend to be faithful to the things I find satisfying.Ó
ÒSo
IÕm a thing?Ó Her stern look was
marred by the twinkle in her eyes.
ÒI
meant only that a man who special orders his incense when significantly cheaper
and more plentiful alternatives exist, is unlikely to leave after the first
taste. Unless of course the first
taste is unpleasant, which we have proven it is not.Ó
She
pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes.
ÒHate to break it to you, Sherlock.
But a kiss may tell you a lot, but it does not tell you everything. Some good kissers are horrible in bed.Ó
ÒAre
you one of them?Ó
ÒI
donÕt think so. But I donÕt know,
now do I? ItÕs sort of a subjective
thing, sex.Ó
ÒIt
is, indeed. However, I have no
reason to believe we would be anything but highly compatible.Ó He let his lips tick up. ÒDo you remember when we shared
consciousness?Ó
She
turned red. ÒWas that supposed to be
as pleasurable as it was?Ó
ÒI
do not believe so. And therefore, I
rest my case.Ó
She
shook her head. ÒIÕll be back when
itÕs time to release you. I have
real work to do, you know?Ó
ÒOf
course.Ó He watched as she walked
to the door, then almost smiled as she turned, hurried
back, kissed him quickly but quite effectively, and hurried out.
##
Spock
could tell Christine was watching him closely as he walked down the
corridor. ÒShould you have released
me if you are worried I will not make it to my quarters?Ó
ÒSorry,
IÕm being a mother hen. IÕd do it
to anyone, not just to you.Ó She
slowed her pace so she was walking more naturally next to him, not like a
spotter for a child learning to walk.
ÒAnything hurting as you move?Ó
ÒNo. The physical therapy was effective.Ó
ÒYou
have to keep doing it. The
exercises Ramirez gave you.Ó
ÒI
am aware of that, Christine.Ó
ÒWell,
most of our patients conveniently forget.
DonÕt. YouÕll never get your
full strength back if you donÕt keep up on the exercises.Ó
ÒPerhaps
you should ensure I do them?Ó
She
smiled. ÒYouÕre perfectly capable
of doing them on your own.Ó
ÒYou
could, however, provide incentive for completing the repetitions.Ó
ÒI
could. That doesnÕt mean I want
to.Ó Her smile grew broader.
They
reached the turbolift, rode it the short way to the deck to their quarters, and
walked to his. He palmed the door
open. ÒYou should inspect my
quarters. There may be hazards I am
unaware of.Ó
ÒHazards?Ó
ÒTo
my continued improvement.Ó
ÒThat
is the lamest excuse to get a woman into your room IÕve ever heard.Ó She motioned for him to go in and
followed him. ÒThe classics are
ÔWant to come up to see my etchings?Õ or ÔHow about a nightcap?ÕÓ
ÒI
have no etchings and I do not drink.Ó
He watched as she wandered his quarters, seemingly unsure where to
settle.
She
turned, saw that he was watching her, and smiled. ÒIÕm nervous.Ó
ÒWhy?Ó
ÒBecause
you make me nervous.Ó
ÒWhy?Ó
ÒBecause
you just do.Ó She moved
closer. ÒAnd I donÕt make you at
all nervous, do I?Ó She put her
arms around his neck, rubbed slowly against him.
ÒYou
make me feel other things when you do that. Nervous is not one of them, you are
right.Ó
She
laughed, and he wrapped his arms around her waist and said, ÒYou may continue
doing that if you wish. It is most
pleasurable.Ó
ÒYou
are not cleared for sex, Spock.Ó
ÒYou
did not say that when you released me.Ó
ÒYou
didnÕt ask.Ó
ÒWhat
am I cleared for?Ó
ÒKissing.Ó Her smile turned evil. ÒAnd me rubbing up against you like a cat
in heat. A careful cat in
heat—I know how hard I can rub.Ó
ÒI
am unsure if that is fair.Ó
ÒI
can leave if you think itÕs unfair.Ó
She dropped her arms from his neck.
He
did not let go of her. ÒI would
prefer you did not.Ó
ÒWhat
if I want to go?Ó
He
let go of her immediately. ÒThen
go.Ó
ÒWow. Look at you. Calling my bluff.Ó She smiled and moved closer again. ÒPut those arms back around me, sir.Ó
He
did as she said, waited until she had twined her arms around his neck to kiss
her. It was a long, slow kiss. She moaned as he dropped his hands from
her waist to travel down her back to parts lower, pulling her closer, as close
as he could get her without engaging in things she had not cleared him for.
When
she finally pulled away, her eyes were half lidded and her lips were red and
full from his kisses. ÒYou are
beautiful.Ó
ÒYou
say that to all the doctors you want to charm into giving you an all access
pass.Ó
ÒNo,
I do not.Ó He gently took her hair
out of the clips she used to hold it up.
ÒI am tired. You are tired,
too, I can feel it when I touch you.Ó
ÒYouÕre
right. IÕm beat.Ó
ÒSleep
with me.Ó He began to undo her
uniform top. She seemed about to
protest, so he said, ÒJust sleep.Ó
ÒNaked
sleep?Ó
ÒYes.Ó
ÒLet
me guess. Vulcan custom?Ó
ÒNo. I just want to feel your skin against
mine.Ó He kissed her again. A short, tender kiss. ÒPlease?Ó
She
seemed undone by his simple request, stared at him as if she was unsure what to
do with it. Finally, she nodded and
he resumed undressing her. He
folded her uniform and put it on the desk, took his robe off, then eased her
bra and underwear off, trying to keep the approval he felt off his face and
apparently failing since she said almost tentatively, Ò I guess you like what
you see?Ó
ÒMost
certainly. You are lovely.Ó
He
stepped out of his underwear and put them with the rest of the clothing. Before he could lead them to bed, she
said, ÒWait a sec, let me check where you were hit.Ó
ÒShow
me.Ó HeÕd felt it. HeÕd seen them change the dressing on
the nu-skin. But he had no idea of
the breadth of the damage.
She
traced out a larger spot than heÕd expected. ÒWe had to work from here to here, and
down to here. This spot right here
was compromised the worst. We took
tissue from your thigh to help the nu-skin adhere.Ó
HeÕd
wondered why his thigh had itched.
ÒIt
was very bad, Spock.Ó She ran her
hand over him, her movements not quite a doctor, not quite a lover. The expression on her face was haunted. ÒI thought you were going to die.Ó
ÒI
did not. You must be quite
skilled.Ó
ÒLen
and I both. WeÕre a good
team.Ó She suddenly pulled him to
her, kissed him fiercely.
He
pulled her closer, as close as he could get her. The feel of her skin on his was
intoxicating. He was aroused, but
he ignored it as best he could since he knew she would not let him make love to
her.
She
reached down, grasped him firmly.
ÒYour idea of being naked was idiotic. You do realize that, right?Ó
He
nodded quickly.
She
did not let go. In fact, she was
moving her hand gently but firmly, holding him against her stomach. ÒDonÕt you dare strain anything or IÕm
breaking up with you before I get to come, and that will make me very angry.Ó
Her
logic made him smile. A smile that
no Vulcan would approve of, and she saw him do it and she began to smile. She continued her ministrations, kissing
him as she did, calling him names like, Òbig dope,Ó and Òmoron,Ó which in no
way should have been arousing but did not interfere with him gasping as he
came.
She
kissed him gently, pointed him toward the bed and said, ÒGive me a second to
clean up,Ó and then disappeared into the bathroom. A few minutes later, she was back and
she crawled into bed and cuddled next to him.
ÒShould
I apologize for that?Ó
ÒNope.Ó She kissed him in a way that let him
know she meant it.
ÒShould
I not be giving you pleasure?Ó
ÒWhen
youÕre one hundred percent, you can give me much pleasure. In fact, it will be expected.Ó
ÒDuly
noted.Ó He nuzzled her neck, kissed
his way to her ear, then over to her lips, enjoying the way she shivered as he
did so. ÒThank you.Ó
ÒYouÕre
welcome. Now go to sleep. ThatÕs an order from your doctor.Ó She settled in very carefully, her arm
snaking down his hip instead of across his waist.
ÒYou
will not hurt me, Christine.Ó
ÒShhh.Ó
He
decided not to tell her that the feel of her hand on his hip that way was
extremely erotic. At this point,
any way she touched him might be arousing.
##
Spock
woke as Christine struggled next to him, trying to free herself from the
covers. ÒWhat is wrong?Ó
ÒToo
damn hot in here. What temperature
do you have it set on?Ó
ÒTwenty-five.Ó
She
groaned. ÒIÕm boiling to
death.Ó She threw off the blanket
and sheet; he could feel them land on him.
ÒLights,
ten percent.Ó A low gleam filled
the room. He could just make her
out. ÒWhat temperature do you
prefer?Ó
ÒAround
twenty.Ó
ÒThat
is quite cold for me.Ó He began to
run his fingers lightly down her body, causing her to shiver. ÒTwenty two?Ó
ÒFine.Ó
ÒDrop
room temperature to twenty two degrees Celsius.Ó He could feel the air grow colder,
continued exploring her body.
ÒAre
you trying to make me more hot?Ó
ÒI
am unsure what I am doing, other than enjoying myself.Ó
She
laughed. ÒI told you no strenuous
activity.Ó
ÒThis
is hardly strenuous,Ó he said as he slid a finger from her knee, up her thigh,
over her hip, and to her breast, barely touching her skin as he moved.
ÒOkay,
you have a point.Ó
ÒDoes
it please you?Ó He ran his finger
up the other side.
She
made a sound he decided was an affirmative.
ÒWhen
will I be cleared for more strenuous activity?Ó
ÒI
donÕt know. ThatÕs up to Len.Ó She moved closer, began to kiss
him.
They
kissed for a long time and he resumed the slide of his finger down the back of
her, gratified to feel her shiver each time he did it. When she pulled away finally, he said,
ÒWhy does McCoy have to clear me?Ó
ÒBecause
I recused myself from major decisions about your health. I might let lust cloud my judgment.Ó
ÒYou
told him that?Ó
ÒNot
in so many words, but he got the picture.Ó
She stroked his hair. ÒI do
want you.Ó
ÒThat
is apparent.Ó He slid his fingers
down the front of her again, this time going farther, allowing his fingers to
dip inside, find how ready she was for him. She moaned. Loudly. ÒAre you convinced I cannot indulge myself?Ó
ÒIÕm
not a lie there and take it quietly kind of gal. I will not be responsible for reinjuring
you, Spock.Ó
He
started to withdraw his fingers and she stopped him, pushing them back in.
ÒBut
let me enjoy this for a few minutes more.
Just the feel of it.Ó
He
thought she might fall back to sleep with his fingers inside her that way,
until he began to move them and she pulled his hand out. ÒGive an inch, you take a mile.Ó Then she cuddled close and kissed him
some more, easing the covers back over them as she did it.
He
had to admire her ability to multitask while in bed.
##
Spock
woke to a much colder room than he was used to, but a warm body draped against
him—something he was also not used to but definitely found
pleasurable. He murmured for the
lights to increase to twenty-five percent and studied Christine as she slept.
There
was little left of the nurse her remembered. The elaborate blond hair and heavy make
up were gone. She had worn heavier
perfume back then. And he tried to
imagine the Christine of then lying in his bed—tried and failed. He had not found that woman attractive. But time and experience had changed
her—and him, too.
He
realized she was awake, was watching him with a half smile. Her dark hair lay mussed around her
face, what little make-up she wore was streaked slightly, and he found the
effect appealing because he knew it was due to being with him. He anticipated how it would look once
they made love in truth, when she was sweaty and satisfied.
ÒWhat
are you thinking about? It cannot
be good.Ó She laughed softly.
ÒI am thinking of what you will look like after sex.Ó
ÒWhat? I donÕt look bad enough for you right
now?Ó Again the easy smile.
He
imagined the Christine of the past would have woken before him, been in the
bathroom already, checking to see how she looked. He could not imagine her lying so
happily in his arms as he scrutinized her this way.
ÒIÕm
starving,Ó she said. ÒIf youÕre not
hungry, then let me up so I can get to the mess.Ó
ÒI
will go with you. I am approved for
light duty, am I not?Ó
She
nodded. ÒOn ship only, buster. No landing parties. No workouts in the gym. And if Jim needs a hero, heÕs going to
have to look elsewhere, got it?Ó
ÒThe
last one will be the most difficult to comply with.Ó
ÒAnd
the most likely to get a waiver for after the fact.Ó She grinned. ÒAre you ever going to kiss me? YouÕre losing points by the second.Ó
He
pulled her to him, kissed her as thoroughly as he could while keeping within
her Òdo not strain anythingÓ parameters, and wondered if either of
them—the versions of them of before—could have done this so easily,
so naturally.
She
pulled away. ÒDo not take this
personally, but nature calls and I do not like company for that.Ó
ÒNor
do I.Ó
ÒOne
hurdle passed.Ó She slid out of
bed, walked to the bathroom, and shut the door. A few moments later, she came out. ÒYour turn?Ó
He
nodded and got out of bed. ÒDo you
prefer to shower alone?Ó he asked as he passed her.
ÒDepends
on who wants to join in,Ó she said with a grin. ÒYouÕre okay for company, I guess.Ó
ÒI
will get the extra towels out.Ó
ÒYou
do that.Ó
She
was wandering his quarters when he came out, and she didnÕt turn, said, ÒI keep
thinking I should put a robe on, but I donÕt have a robe here. It feels strange to be naked like this.Ó
ÒDo
you want a robe?Ó
ÒI
have several in my quarters.Ó
ÒThen
keep one here. I do not want you to
feel uncomfortable. Bring whatever
you need.Ó
She
turned and studied him. ÒYou
realize you basically just told me to move my stuff in.Ó
ÒPrecisely.Ó He let his eyebrow rise slowly. ÒFor efficiencyÕs sake, if nothing
else.Ó
ÒWhat
if weÕre not compatible?Ó
ÒHas
anything occurred so far to indicate we are not compatible?Ó
ÒIt
could happen at breakfast. IÕm not
a vegetarian.Ó
ÒI
am surrounded my omnivores. I will survive
if my lover is also one.Ó
ÒWeÕre
not lovers yet.Ó
He
walked over to her, pulled her close, then ran his fingers down from her chest
to her stomach and lower, back where they had been. The sound she made as he explored was
both charming and arousing. ÒShall
I remedy that? You have allowed me
release, shall I do that same for you?Ó
ÒI
told you. I donÕt want you to
strain anything.Ó
He
backed her up so they were both resting against his desk. She lifted her far leg up so it was
resting on the desk, leaned against him very lightly, and he put his arm around
her to steady her. ÒRelax,
Christine, I am not straining anything.Ó
He used his other hand to play.
She was ready for him—so very ready. It took no time at all before she was
writhing under his touch, and then calling out his name.
He
took a special pleasure in that.
ÒAre we lovers now, Christine?Ó
She
nodded, still breathing hard and apparently finding words a difficult concept.
ÒExcellent. Please tell me when you have
sufficiently recovered so we can shower.
The mess hall is not open for breakfast all day.Ó
He
earned himself a glare for that.
HeÕd known he would.
##
They
were eating in a peaceful silence when Jim and McCoy walked over.
ÒThis
a private party or can anybody join?Ó McCoy asked with a grin that boded no
good.
ÒPlease,Ó
Spock said, and met ChristineÕs eyes as their friends took the seats to either
side of them—she looked as warily amused as he felt.
ÒYou
two seem mellow,Ó Jim said with a fond grin.
ÒLife
is good,Ó Christine said, and Spock felt a pang of satisfaction at her
words. He did not think she said
such things easily.
ÒDamn
straight it is. JimÕs taking us
back to the pleasure planet—you remember,
Spock? The one with the white
rabbit and the black knight.Ó McCoy
smiled and shook his head in some sort of happy whimsy. ÒTough thing will be to find people to
stay aboard.Ó
ÒI
will,Ó Spock and Christine both said at the same time.
Jim
started to laugh. ÒYou owe me a
drink, Bones. Single malt.Ó
ÒIÕll
get you house brand if youÕre lucky.
You two are together?
Finally?Ó
ÒWe
didnÕt say that.Ó Christine had her
best professional face on. ÒI have
an experiment IÕd like to try. When
did you say weÕd be at the planet?Ó
ÒÕBout
two weeks from now. Just about when
Spock is cleared for every damn thing.Ó
McCoy waggled his eyebrows.
ÒI
too have an experiment,Ó Spock said, keeping his expression neutral. ÒI will stay on board while the rest of
you...Ó
ÒCavort,Ó
Christine said. ÒFrolic. Romp. Play. Indulge.Ó
Some
of those words were having an interesting effect on parts of his anatomy. ÒThank you, Christine. I believe they have the idea.Ó
ÒTwo
experiments. At
the same time. Mutual
exploration.Ó Jim was beaming and
clearly trying not to laugh.
ÒHow...astoundingly wonderful.Ó
ÒPure
coincidence.Ó Christine smiled at
him. ÒI mean IÕd much rather put on
some fairy princess gown and be rescued by a robot in shining armor, but once
your fiancŽÕs become an android, it sort of sours you on the whole automaton
experience.Ó
ÒExcellent
point, Chris.Ó Jim grinned at McCoy
again. ÒAnd thatÕs a whole bottle
if she brought up Roger.Ó
ÒIÕm
so glad weÕre providing amusement for you two.Ó She looked over at Spock. ÒArenÕt you happy?Ó
ÒI
am happy.Ó He looked at her, then at his two friends, wondered if they understood exactly
what he had just admitted. Jim
looked like he did. His smile was
open and pleased. ÒIf you two are
only going to abuse us, then perhaps you should find another table.Ó
ÒYeeee-ouch.
Protecting his lady, or what?Ó
McCoy held up his hands in what Spock assumed was mock surrender. ÒI humbly apologize, Spock. We are buffoons and you have shown us
the error of our ways.Ó
ÒGood.Ó He nodded at Christine, who only rolled
her eyes at him.
ÒSo
is he good?Ó McCoy asked her, and at SpockÕs glare said, ÒDid I say
buffoon? I meant typhoon. So is he, Christine? And if he is, then youÕll have some
explaining to do because he is not cleared for that.Ó
Spock
took a deep breath, felt ChristineÕs foot gently rub his leg, and looked up to
see her soft and sensual smile.
ÒWe
have no idea what youÕre talking about, Len. WeÕre just two colleagues who happen to
be more interested in science than playing make-believe on a pleasure planet.Ó She looked pointedly at Jim. ÒHelp him find a new theme, wonÕt you?Ó
ÒWhat
the hell. I already won the bets.Ó
He began to tuck into his oatmeal.
ÒSo how long before I get him back for chess, Chris.Ó
She
smiled. ÒYou mean from the
experiment?Ó
ÒThe
mutual experiment, yeah.Ó Jim
grinned.
She
looked at Spock, clearly leaving that up to him to respond to.
ÒIt
may be quite some time, Jim.Ó
She
smiled.
Jim
shot him a look full of approval.
ÒI think thatÕs exactly the right answer, old friend.Ó
FIN