DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are
the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2010 by Djinn. This
story is Rated R.
Live Fast, Regret Later
by Djinn
Chapel
cruised the club, looking for anyone who seemed likely
to be on Earth temporarily--and this club was usually full of people like that. She had the end-of-term crazies and was dying
to work them out--preferably horizontally--with someone cute but unlikely to
stick around for long.
"Hi." A sweet voice, honeyed even. Female.
Chapel
turned, saw a petite woman with short, glossy brown hair sitting on a bar
stool, looking her up and down.
"Hi." She moved closer.
"Can
I buy you a drink?" The woman
smiled. "Or do you have to get back
to your ship?"
"Ummm.
If you're looking for a soon-to-ship-out, no-strings kind of thing, I'm afraid I'm Earth bound."
"Well, that"--the woman gestured for the bartender--"is a shame." She uncrossed and recrossed
her legs in a way that had to be deliberate; her skirt was very short, riding
up on toned legs. "What's your
poison?"
"Champagne
tonight. I'm celebrating."
"You
heard the lady." The brunette waved
the bartender on his way and Chapel laughed.
"What? Oh, was that
imperious? My husband tells me I need to
work on that."
"You're
married."
The
woman nodded. "He's very
handsome."
"But
still you come here?"
"He's
handsome but often in a bad mood. I come
here to find people who aren't in bad moods."
"I
see." Chapel slid onto the stool
next to her. "I'm Chris, by the way."
"Lori." She sipped her drink. "What are you celebrating?"
"One
less term of med school to get through."
"Good
for you. Starfleet Medical?"
Chapel
nodded. "Do I look Starfleet?"
"A
little. Now that I'm looking for it. It's the way you stand." Lori laughed. "Do I?"
"Well,
the legs don't." Chapel gave her an
obvious once over. "But yeah, you
have the bearing."
"Don't
tell anyone, but I'm an admiral."
Chapel suddenly felt very uncomfortable.
"Oh,
for God's sake, I'm still the woman who just tried to pick you up. Relax."
Lori took a healthy sip of her drink.
"I wouldn't have tried to do that if I'd thought you were
Fleet."
"No?"
"Nope. Don't shit in your
own nest."
"I
know someone else with that philosophy.
So your husband isn't fleet."
Lori
laughed. "I don't consider marriage
shitting." She thought about
that. "Which is a terrible slam to
you, and I don't mean it that way."
"I
know what you mean. Actually, I was
looking for no-strings, too." She
sighed. "Get the kinks out or
something." She sipped her
champagne in silence for a moment.
"It's
a term marriage," Lori said.
"Up soon."
"Are
you renewing?"
"Not
sure. Like I said,
bad moods a lot of the time."
"But
you love him?"
Lori
shrugged. "I did. I mean..." She looked down. "I think I did. This will sound terrible, but I thought he
could help my career--thought we could help each other's career. But...no."
"I
kind of understand. I was engaged to a
man who was my graduate advisor."
"So
you didn't love him?"
"I
loved his authority. I loved his
knowledge. I loved being his."
"None
of those things are love. They're
more...acquisitive. Love's supposed to be
selfless, right?" Lori
laughed. "I've never quite mastered
that. Have you?"
"Once. I had a thing for this guy who did not like
me back."
"You're
sure he didn't? Men can be cagey."
"Positive." She smiled.
"I sure did like him, though.
Made a damn fool of myself."
"That's
not good. Always leave them wanting
more, Chris."
"Well
that presumes they start out wanting anything."
Lori
laughed again. "This is true."
"Having
fun?" A familiar
voice. Grumpy
as hell, but familiar.
Chapel
turned, saw Kirk standing behind her, glaring at Lori. Then he did a double take at her. Probably had never seen her
wearing a dress as form fitting--or as backless. She tried a smile. "Didn't recognize me, sir?"
"No." His voice was so tight she thought he might
sprain something. "But Lori I
recognize. My better
half."
"My
ball and chain," Lori muttered into her drink.
"Heard
that." Jim gestured to the stool next to
Chapel. "Move over, Chapel. I need to talk to my wife."
"I can leave."
"Your
hearing gone?" His hand
clamped down on her leg. "I said
move the hell over."
She
moved over. Resisted
trying to catch Lori's eye. Felt
suddenly like she was caught between two annoyed hornets. "Are you sure I can't just leave?"
"You
tried to pick Chapel up, didn't you?"
He didn't sound angry as much as disappointed. "I thought you said you were
happy."
"I
was happy. Till you
walked in."
Chapel
tried to slide off the stool; Kirk found her thigh again and held on
tight. He let up as soon as she quit
moving, but didn't take his hand off her leg.
Lori
seemed fixated on that hand. "Let
me guess. She's another of your
conquests?" She gave Chapel a
brittle smile. "You'd be amazed how
many of you there are."
"I'm
not--"
"She's
not. She was on my crew."
"Do
you always manhandle your crew that way?"
He
let go of Chapel's leg.
"Could
I please go, sir?" She wasn't sure
which of them she was asking.
"Go,
Chris. It was nice meeting
you." Lori sounded as if she
couldn't make up her mind if that was true or not.
Chapel
fled--it seemed a smarter thing to do than try to reassure Lori that she and
Kirk had never been an item.
-----------------
Chapel
sensed someone coming up behind her in the medical library, turned to see who
it was and could feel herself blushing when she realized it was Kirk.
"As
you were." He grinned, but it was another of the tight
expressions that looked like it hurt to make.
He sat down next to her. "You hiding here? I
thought the term was over?"
"Just
getting a head start."
She could hear the defensiveness in her voice--mostly because he was
right, she had been hiding.
"I'm
sorry to have put you in the middle of that last night." He moved his chair closer, lowered his
voice. "Except that you appeared to
be willingly in the middle of it when I got there--I thought... I thought she was done with the
extracurricular stuff."
"Oh,
sir, she probably is. It was me, I mean,
I was the one who tried to pick her up and--"
"You're
a terrible liar."
She
sighed.
"But
thank you." He sighed too. "Did she even bother to mention she was
married?"
"She did."
"Before
or after she tried to hook you?"
Her
look must have told him the answer.
"Yeah,
that's what I thought." He looked
around the empty library. "Listen,
this place is much too depressing. Come
get coffee with me."
"I
don't think so, sir, I--"
"Call
me Jim. And I can make coming for coffee
an order if you want."
"I
don't actually think you can."
"I
can. Starfleet Regulation Forty Four dot
Eighteen. The right of a flag officer to seek independent medical
counsel."
"There's
no such reg."
"There
is. I don't think it applies to coffee
with the woman your wife just hit on.
But you know me, always bending those rules." His voice dripped self mockery.
"Are
you all right?"
"I
hate my job. I am rapidly growing to
dislike my wife. What do you
think?"
She
looked away.
"Chris,
please? Coffee?"
"I
don't think so, sir."
"Call
me Jim."
"Sir."
His
eyes seemed to go dead. "Okay, then. I certainly don't want to push this. My apologies." He got up and left quickly.
Chapel
took a deep breath, then another. Then a
lot more before she finally could pay attention to what she'd been reading.
She
heard light footsteps approaching, smelled a familiar perfume when the steps
stopped behind her. Before Lori could
say anything, she turned and said, "Admiral Ciani,
what a surprise. Tell me: how are you
two finding me?"
"He's
been here already?"
"Yes."
"Damn. I wanted to get here first."
"Well,
great minds and all that. You're a hell
of a matched pair."
Lori
sat down in the chair Kirk had just vacated.
"Admirals can find anyone. Or
we know people who can find you for us. We're
not supposed to use that privilege for strictly personal use but there's this reg that--"
"Yes,
I've heard of it." Chapel turned
off her padd and faced Lori. "I'm not getting coffee with you,
either."
"Good,
because I don't drink coffee."
Lori leaned back. "I'm
leaving him. I decided that."
"Okay. Well, you should tell him, not me."
"Wait,
he asked you to coffee?" Lori
leaned forward. "He didn't come to
see you to find out what I was up to?"
"Oh,
he did. Don't worry. Your boy is not interested in me."
"How
close were you two on the ship?" Lori's
voice had changed, wasn't as friendly as before. She scooted her chair closer.
"Not
close." Chapel moved her chair
away.
"He
was that guy, the one you liked who you thought didn't like you, wasn't
he?"
"He
was not that guy. He was really not that
guy."
"So
he liked you?"
"As
a friend. Mildly. Not a good one." Chapel could see Lori wasn't buying it. "You two are not normal, you know that, right? If he cares so much about what you do, and
you care so much about what he does, shouldn't you be talking to each
other? Clearly there are strong feelings
here." She gathered up her
things. "I'm going to go now,
sir."
"Chris,
it's Lori."
"No,
sir. It's not." This time she fled with a little more
dignity.
--------------------
She
was leaving class when she saw Kirk leaning against the wall, arms crossed, a small, rather sheepish, smile on his face. She saw the other cadets give her some looks
that meant she'd just shot up on the interesting level--she'd been careful to
downplay as much as she could the fact she'd served on the flagship.
"Lieutenant. Or should I say Doctor?"
"Not
yet." She found herself
smiling. It sounded good. Doctor. Not that lieutenant was bad, certainly better
than ensign.
"How
about if I just call you Chris like I used to." When she nodded, he took her arm. "And you can goddamn call me Jim."
"Sir."
"Stow
it. I need a friend, Chris. Spock's gone to purge everything he cares
about--that includes me, I guess. Bones
is mad as hell at me for taking this job, and I'll be damned if I'll head to Georgia
to tell him he was right all along. The
others...well, they're busy on the ship."
He waited, and she could tell he knew Decker had talked to her too. "And you'll be going, but you're not up
there yet."
"No,
not yet. You're leaving out your wife, sir." She saw his mouth twitch and gave up. "Jim.
What about Lori?"
"She
left me. Let our marriage lapse and that
was that." He shook his head. "I let it lapse, too, I guess. Not like I put my seal of approval on the
renewal request. That would be hell,
wouldn't it? To want to renew and find
out your partner doesn't?" He was
guiding her down the hall. "I assume your classes are over for the
day?"
"You
know what they say about assuming?"
"Is
there any possible way for me to be a bigger ass than I've already been?"
She
laughed.
"That's
what I thought. Look, there's a new
restaurant down on the wharf. I want to
try it. They want the brass there, looks
good for them, and we might come back when we have visitors to wine and dine."
"Makes
sense."
"But
I don't want to eat there alone. So you
need to come."
She
sighed.
"If
you want to." He stopped walking, turned to face her. "I'm making another assumption,
Chris. I'm assuming that if Lori and I
both pursue you now, you'll choose me."
"Big
damn assumption."
"Yes,
it is. But as any of my colleagues will
tell you, I have a big damn ego."
"No,
you don't."
His
eyes softened. "No. I don't.
Not when it comes to romance."
He touched her cheek. "If
you'd rather go look for Lori, I'm sure she wouldn't mind."
"I..." She looked down. "Sir--Jim, I feel very weird. This feels weird."
"It
doesn't have to. We can be
friends." The look he gave her was
sweet, then it turned into something else. "Maybe more."
"I'm
shipping out eventually. You just want
me so she can't have me."
"That's
not true." But by the way his lower
lip jutted out, she could tell it was to some extent. Then again, the same might be said about
Lori, now that she thought Chapel and Jim had enjoyed some kind of extra
special friendship.
He
waited, his eyes too hard to be puppy dog, but still
damn appealing.
She
started to smile. "Is the restaurant
good?"
"Supposed
to be out of this world."
He laughed. "Only
on Earth."
"Fine."
He
took her pack from her, slung it over his shoulder gallantly. With a grin, he urged her forward, his hand
on the small of her back, and she moved away quickly, not liking how extremely
wonderful that little touch had felt.
She'd
never ever been interested in this man.
She was leaving eventually, on his ship.
It
was unclear why he was even interested in her.
She
turned to look at him, saw he was grinning.
"Liked
that, didn't you?"
"Shut
up," she said, which only made his grin grow wider.
----------------
Chapel
saw Lori coming down the corridor of Starfleet Medical with another officer and
ducked into a stairwell, then down a few flights of stairs just to be safe.
There
was no reason for her to hide from Lori.
She wasn't doing anything wrong by going to dinner with Jim.
Not
the first time. Or the
next time. Or
the next.
Or tonight.
Cripes,
for something that wasn't wrong, she sure felt guilty as hell.
She
took the long way to her class, was happy to see no gamine brunette waiting for
her.
But
was less happy to see her inside the classroom, talking to some of the medical
cadets. Lori turned, smiled at Chapel as if she'd
never tried to pick her up or been jealous--or whatever she'd been.
"Chris. There you are." She gave the cadets a winning grin. "Carry on." She nodded toward the hall, and even though
Chapel had at least six inches on her, she had the feeling Lori could carry her
out the door on willpower alone. "I
saw you duck into that stairwell."
"I
forgot something."
"You're
a terrible liar."
"So
I've been told."
"Gosh,
who could have told you that?" Lori
settled in next to her, arms crossed, eyes hard. "I know you're seeing him."
"It's
not what you think."
"Isn't
it?" She leaned in. "I saw you first."
"He
did. I worked with him, remember?"
"Ah,
but I thought you said there was no interest.
Are you saying he saw you first...that way?"
Chapel
sighed. She was not up to this level of
sparring. No matter which way she went,
there'd be a trap. "Can I just get
to class?"
"Dump
him."
"I'm
not with him. It's just dinner."
"Toots,
that's how he and I started. Has he taken you to Delmonico's yet?"
Chapel
felt a nasty smile growing, tried to bite it back but couldn't help it. "No.
He said he's over that place."
Actually, he'd told her it was where he and Lori used to go, and he
didn't want to be reminded of them. But
her version was harsher. And she
suddenly felt the need to be harsh. She
moved forward, saw Lori's eyes widen for a moment. "Look, Admiral, my class is about to
start. Unless you have some Fleet
business to discuss, I'm going to have to go."
"He'll
break your heart."
"And
you wouldn't?"
Lori
laughed. "You have me there. I'm
not very good over the long haul--at least not with him. Then again, you're not going to be very good over
the long haul, you leaving and all on the pretty ship Jim used to captain. Maybe you'll break his heart."
"I'm
going to try not to." She realized
she was admitting a little too much with that statement, but she felt she owed
it to Jim. She knew he didn't care who
knew they were seeing each other socially.
Hell, he probably wanted Lori to know.
Lori
gave her a long, hard stare. Then she laughed, a short puff of pitying air. "Good luck with that." She turned on her heel and walked away--a
picture perfect Starfleet officer.
Yet
something about her struck Chapel as sad.
-------------------
Chapel
walked next to Jim, enjoying the feel of his arm wrapped around her shoulder, the
sighs he made after a good meal. Contentment. The only
kind he seemed to feel anymore. She saw
him glance up at the sky; it was dark enough to see the stars.
"You
miss them."
"More
than anything." He pulled
her closer. "You'll be up there
soon."
"Another
six months."
"That's
soon to me." He smiled at her, a
real smile, not tight, but a little bit lost.
"I'll miss you."
"I'm
just your dinner partner."
"No,
you're not." He leaned in, kissed
her slowly, wrapping his other arm around her.
She
kissed him back, enjoying the feel of him, the solidness --always someone she
could depend on, even if not someone she'd known very well.
"Is
this smart?" she whispered when he finally pulled away.
"No. No, it's not." He nuzzled her neck and murmured, "When
we get to your place, can I come in?"
"Yes."
He
got them moving again. "I'm going
to take advantage of you."
"You
damn well better." She grinned
at the way he chuckled. Then it hit her,
the idea she might make him happy, and then leave him anyway. "I'm shipping out, Jim."
"Not
for six months." He met her eyes. "I want this. I know it's going to hurt like hell when you
leave. But I want this."
"Do
you care if I want this?"
He
stopped walking, turned to look at her, the smile dropping away. "Have I overstepped?"
"No. Jim, no." She pulled him closer. "You were just being really focused on
yourself. 'I want this.' No thought of me."
"I
think of you. Believe me, I think of
you." He kissed the tip of her
nose, and she laughed at the whimsy of the touch. "I'm the one standing still, Chris. I guess I am over-focused on me. And I'll get worse the closer you and my ship
get to leaving--without me. Can you deal
with that?"
"I
don't know." She didn't try to
smile away the answer.
"Will
you try to deal with it?"
For
that she could smile. "Yes, I'll
try."
He
tucked her hand over his arm, pulled them along faster. They made it to her apartment in record time,
and she palmed them in. They rode the
elevator in a silence punctuated by furtive looks and quick grins. He followed her down the hall--she'd never
brought him this far; he'd only ever walked her to the lobby--and he waited as
she palmed open the front door.
She
expected him to grab her as soon as the door closed, but he didn't. He walked into the apartment, past the
bedroom, into the living room. She
watched him as he went to the window.
"Nice
view."
"It
is. I'll miss it. The stars aren't quite the same." She smiled at his expression.
"Blasphemy, I know."
He
turned to the interior, studied the pictures on the wall, the little knick-knacks
on the tables, wandered around the place, touching fabrics. At her look, he said, "This isn't just a
fuck-and-leave, Chris. I want to know
who I'm going to be with."
"And
what does all this tell you?"
"You
like exotic things. You have a practical
streak. And you don't have a single
picture of family or friends or anyone out here."
"That's
because they're in my den." She
pointed to the room in question.
He
went in, smiled at the number of photos in mismatched frames scattered around
her shelves.
"Better?"
"Much." Leaning against the desk, he said, "Come
here."
She
moved slowly, trying to make her walk seductive. She was good at it in the clubs, but here,
any sensual grace she used to have seemed to desert her.
She
was horribly nervous. She swallowed hard
and tried to smile as he reached for her, pulled her in.
"Not
just a fuck, is it?" His smile was
easy, his eyes warm.
"Not
at all."
He
kissed her again, running his hands all over her body. She moaned and she could feel him smiling under
their kiss. Pulling away, she took his
hand and drew him into the bedroom. They
undressed each other slowly, but once the clothes were off, she found herself
in a rush, saw he was, too. The sex was
furious and quick, and they both laughed a little nervously when it was over, breathing
hard and feeling like teens trying to do it before the parents got home.
"I
promise I can last longer," he said as he lay back and pulled her on top
of him.
"So
can I."
She laughed softly. "Although, normally I take too long."
"I
don't believe that. You're very
responsive."
"I
think it's more that you are very skilled."
"Oh,
well, I am." He laughed and pushed
her to her back. "Shall we see
which of us is right?" He kissed
his way down her chest, her belly, her--oh, holy God.
Turned
out they were both right.
------------------
Chapel
nodded to assorted brass--brass she was getting to know from being Jim's
companion to dinners and parties and picnics--as she walked down the corridor
of Starfleet Command with him to his office.
"They
like you." He smiled at her,
laughing softly as she bumped up against him and then moved a more respectable
distance away.
"But
do you like me?"
"Have
I not made that clear over the last few months?"
She
shrugged, then laughed at his expression. "Well, maybe, you've made it
clear."
"But
I should make it more clear?" He looked like he might try to make it more clear in his office.
"Why
are we going to your office again?"
"Something
I want to show you."
They
turned a corner, and she saw Lori standing in the hall talking to a
commander. Chapel looked down and
sighed.
Something
he wanted to show her or someone he wanted to show her off to?
The
commander left, and Lori turned to watch them coming. She nodded.
At Chapel.
Jim she ignored.
"Sir,"
Chapel murmured, sending Lori the most apologetic look she could without
betraying Jim.
"Lieutenant
Chapel. You're looking well." Lori's smile was genuine, and Chapel saw
Jim's eyes narrow. Not the reaction he
was going for apparently. "Nice
lunch?"
Jim
nodded.
"Was
he as talkative as he is right now?" Lori winked at Chapel.
Chapel
felt Jim tense and tried to bite back a sigh.
She was not doing this, not now.
"Sirs,
I need to get back to class." She
smiled at them both, a neutral--probably rather uncomfortable--smile. "Last few days and all that."
"And
then your residency?" Lori glanced
at Jim and then back at Chapel. "An
accelerated one, I imagine. If you're going to make the launch."
"Chris
is top of her class." Jim sounded
proud--but Chapel couldn't tell if he was proud for her or just proud his woman
was doing well.
"Accelerated
means lots of work. Not much free
time." Lori's smile was
vicious. "What will you do with
yourself, Jim?"
Chapel
sighed again. "Excuse me,
sirs." She hurried off, nearly
collided with someone as she took a corner too fast.
"Christine." Rand did not sound happy to see her. "Something
wrong?"
"Not
a thing."
Their
relationship had soured since Chapel had started seeing Jim. More she thought because she hadn't had the
guts to tell Jan about it, than that Jan really cared anymore who Jim saw.
"Can
we talk?" she asked as Jan started to move away. "Walk with me, back to Starfleet
Medical."
"I
might have things to do here. You're not
the only busy one, you know."
Chapel
looked down. "I know. I'm sorry.
I just...I just miss you. You're...sane. I need that.
Someone who's not angry all the time. Or manipulating me."
"Oh,
for God's sake. You're pathetic." Jan took her arm and got her moving. "Tell me all about it."
"I
can't. They'll kill me." Chapel took a deep breath. "Isn't love supposed to make you feel
good?"
"So
you're in love with him?"
"Yes." She met Jan's gaze.
"But
you don't feel good with him? Hmm, wouldn't
have seen that coming. Just don't tell
me he's not good in bed. I can't bear to
have all my fantasies shattered."
"He's
great in bed."
Jan
chuckled.
They
walked in silence for a moment, then Jan said,
"He's always loved that damn ship. More than any of us, even Spock. And now that ship is not only leaving him,
it's taking you away, too. How do you
think that makes him feel?"
Chapel
turned to look at her, mouth a little bit open.
"What? I can't be insightful?" Jan shook her head. "If you love him, this is just part of
the package."
"But
there's the evil ex-wife." Who she
was not going to mention just might be interested in her.
"That's
part of the package as well." Jan
slowed at the crossover between Command and Medical. "I really do have somewhere to be. But I've missed you, too." She slugged Chapel in the arm--softly, but
still a slug. "Don't be a stranger,
okay?"
Chapel
nodded, feeling a little bit better about her day. Until she heard her padd
buzz and saw she had a message from Lori.
It
was a text. "I am proud of
you. All the other
stuff aside. Well done,
Chris."
It
was just exactly the right thing to say.
Chapel
had no doubt Lori knew that.
-----------------
Chapel
and Jim lay in bed in a rented cottage on the beach, his head on her
stomach. The wind came through the open
windows, making the curtains billow, cooling them. She played with his hair as her breathing
returned to normal.
"This
is nice," he murmured.
"It
is."
"This
could be how it is all the time." He
took a breath, seemed to be holding it.
"Jim. I--"
He
rolled over and got out of bed in one lithe move, stalked over to the windows,
then back to stare down at her.
"That wasn't fair of me."
She
didn't answer. He didn't always fight
fair--but she wasn't sure this was a fight.
"What
if I asked you to marry me?"
"I'd
say yes." She told her heart that
he wasn't actually asking her, that a hypothetical question was not a proposal.
"You
would?"
She
nodded.
But
then his smile twisted, the way it did more and more. "And then you'd stay here. With me?"
She
didn't look away. "Would that make
you happy?"
He
started to answer, but then the nasty smile faded, and he turned and walked
into the bathroom. As the door closed,
she heard him say, "No. No, it
wouldn't."
She
got up and found her robe, pulled it on and went out to the deck, sitting on
the wicker loveseat. He came out a
moment later, sat down next to her.
"I'm
sorry. I shouldn't do that to you."
"I
don't know what you want." Although she did. He
wanted to be up there, where she was going.
And she wasn't sure it would matter, if he got there, if she was there
or not.
Jan
had been right. The ship was all that
mattered. No matter how much he might
feel for Chapel.
"I
want you to be happy." He turned to
look at her, leaned in and kissed her slowly, very tenderly. Then he pulled her close and sighed. "I didn't mean to ruin our
vacation."
"You
haven't ruined it."
"You're
still not a very good liar."
-----------------
She
found Lori in the same club as before, held up a hand as Lori gave her the
smile that had drawn her in the first time.
"I'm not here to cheat on him."
"Fine. Sit down.
Have a drink." Lori ordered
her champagne, put it on her credit chip. "To your last few days
on Earth."
Chapel
drank it halfway down before she looked over at Lori. "Did you love him?"
"I
did." For once Lori was
serious. "Has he asked you to marry
him?"
"Only
hypothetically."
"I
think that means he might actually love you.
He cares too much to try to hold you." She took a sip of her drink.
"I
don't know. Maybe." Chapel sighed.
"For
what it's worth, he clearly loves you."
Lori laughed softly. "I
think I could have loved you better, though."
Chapel
wasn't sure being manipulated all the time would be an improvement to Jim's
raging bad moods.
"What
did you come here for, Chris, if not to cheat on him?"
"I
wanted to ask you something. Just...look
out for him? When I'm gone?" She didn't smile, tried to show Lori how
serious she was. "I'm worried about
him."
"He's
an unhappy man, Chris. Unhappy men do
stupid things." She pushed her
drink away. "What exactly do you
think I'm going to be able to do?"
"Just...just
be nice to him. A
little."
"I'll
try. For you, I'll try."
Chapel
slid off the stool, stopped when she felt Lori touch her hand. She turned.
Lori leaned in, her eyes open, watching Chapel
as she moved.
"Don't."
"It's
just a kiss. It's not
cheating." Lori smiled. "I don't think you believe it would be
cheating. Just once. To see what you're missing."
"It
doesn't matter what I do or don't believe." Chapel pulled away. "He'd think it was cheating."
"I'm
not sure he deserves you."
"I'm
pretty sure you don't, either."
Lori
laughed. "Touche, my dear.
Godspeed on your journey. Decker's lucky to have you."
"You
don't know that."
"Oh,
I've kept up with your academic record.
It's not just your physical assets I'm interested in." She winked.
"Goodbye,
Lori."
"Not
goodbye. I'll be up on your ship, with
Commander Sonak.
Nogura can't come and it was Jim or I to stand
in his place. It would kill Jim, so Nogura's sending me."
Lori laughed suddenly, her mean laugh.
"Well, he could have sent Carruthers, but
our newest admiral's out of favor. She
learned the hard way that when the old man's in one of his moods, it is not the
time to speak truth to power."
Chapel
could imagine Lori was the master of surfing the political waves of
Command. Jim probably was, too. When he cared enough about
his life to bother.
-------------
Alarms
sounded on the Enterprise as Chapel beamed up, fifteen hours ahead of
schedule. The goodbye she'd envisioned
having with Jim had worked out a little differently than she'd expected. He was standing in the corridor, smiling at
her as she walked out from the transporter room.
"You
know where to go?" His look was
tender--but then he'd just stolen his ship back, or was about to. Even if it was only
temporarily.
"Do
you know where to go?"
"No
goddamn idea. Just
charged up here ready to save the day." He winked at her, and she saw the old Kirk,
the one she'd served with but never slept with.
She
loved this version of him. Even if he'd disappear as fast as it took to deal with this crisis. Unless, of course, they
died. Then, at least, he'd be the
right Kirk at the end.
"Wish
me luck?"
"You
don't need it." She moved closer and smiled. "But of course I wish you luck."
"I
love you," he said, his eyes meeting hers for a long moment. Then he grinned and took off, walking fast,
every inch the captain, even with admiral's insignia on. He was walking the wrong way if he wanted to
get to the bridge, but he looked damned good doing it.
Her
communicator buzzed. "Ciani to Chapel."
"Chapel
here."
Lori
did not sound happy. "He beat me up
there, the bastard."
Chapel
laughed. The situation was dire, a
terrible danger threatened the Federation, and these two still could not give
this up. "So this is goodbye?"
"You're
damn right it is. I'm not coming up if
he's there. Carruthers
is excited as hell she gets to go."
There was a long pause.
"Good luck, Chris. I hope to
hell we survive this."
"I
hope to hell we do, too."
"I'm
going to look you up again someday. If
we survive, he'll have to come back to Earth.
And we both know how that will go."
"And
if we don't survive..."
"Then
none of us will give a damn. Godspeed,
Doctor."
"Thank
you, Admiral."
Even
in the middle of a crisis, Lori could screw with her head and make her feel
warm all over. It was a gift.
----------------
Len
sat back in his office chair, finally coming to roost after gallivanting all
over the ship. Not
that Chapel hadn't done her share--trying to coax any shred of the real Ilia from the automaton V'ger had
sent over.
But
it was over. V'ger
was gone, and the ship was full of people trying to sit still even though
adrenaline was rushing through their veins.
"So,"
Len said, breaking into her reverie. "You and Jim, huh?"
She
stared at him. "How did you arrive
at that?" Especially after her
horribly embarrassing welcome for Spock.
"The
way he talked to you when he needed Spock back on his feet. Like he was used to telling you what he
wanted."
"You
think he orders me around? I mean if we
were together, which I'm not saying we are."
"He
didn't act like someone who was seeing you again for the first time."
"Were
you there for the handholding with Spock?
Because I'm not sure how you arrive at me being the one with Jim when
there was that moment to jump to conclusions from."
"Ah. The final proof."
"Excuse
me?"
He
laughed. "You just called him
Jim."
"Shit." She laughed.
"All right, you caught me."
"He's
staying, you know. Nogura
gave him the ship."
"I
didn't know." She felt an empty pit
forming where her belly was. The ship back. He
wouldn't want her, or couldn't have her--that was an easier way to think of it.
Len
narrowed his eyes. "Hasn't been
easy, has it? Him
stuck on Earth. Imagine he was a bit of
a bitch."
"I
don't know what you mean." She
played as dumb as she could.
"That
act worked better when you were a blonde."
He smiled at her expression. "I like the new you. Doctor Chapel. Nice sound to it. You think Doctor Chapel can stand working
with Doctor McCoy again?"
"You're
staying too?"
"Someone
has to keep an eye on him."
She
looked down. Someone would. Many someones. Len. Spock.
His crew.
His damn ship.
She
heard the sickbay doors open, steps coming, steps she didn't recognize till Jim
walked in Len's office. He'd never
sounded that light on Earth.
"I'll
be going." She got up, was
surprised when he stopped her. "Sir?"
He
didn't look at her, just smiled at Len. "Bones,
we'll catch up later?"
"Count
on it, Jim." Len smiled at them
both. "Go have fun. You've earned it."
Yes,
it would be so much fun to be broken up with, to have the ship take him, to
know that she'd been a nice sop for his pain on Earth, but here--here she
couldn't compete. She didn't look at Jim
as she followed him to the lift. It arrived
much too fast, deposited them on their deck before she was ready.
He
palmed open his door, gestured her in.
"Look,
just make it fast, okay."
"You
normally don't say that." He was
grinning, in a way that was lighter than she'd seen since they'd gotten
together. It was also a very wicked
grin. He moved closer. "Do you want me to rush through
this? I did just save the world so it's
possible there are lots of other women who'd like to give me a hero's welcome,
but I was sort of hoping you'd want me to keep it in my pants when you aren't
around."
"I
do. I mean, you want that?"
He
laughed. "I'm sorry I put you
through hell." Pulling her close,
he whispered in her ears. "But I'm
glad I never asked you to marry me, not down there, not the way I was
then."
She
wasn't sure what the appropriate answer was for that declaration.
"You
know that I don't get involved with people on my crew."
Here
it was. The
inevitable. She nodded.
"I
believe I could relax that policy if that person on my crew also happened to be
my wife."
"But
I'm not."
"I
know. But it's the damnedest thing..." He drew her to his terminal; she saw a long
queue of messages with congratulatory headers. And one from Lori that said, "This isn't
over."
He
opened it. It wasn't long, had a link at
the end. "Dear, Jim. I will steal her from you. This will make it just that much more
fun. Also, it's my little way of saying
thank you for saving us all so I have a chance to steal her. Give her a kiss for me--little tart thought
she should be faithful to you and wouldn't give me one herself."
"Is
that true?" He was grinning at her.
She
was heartily glad Lori hadn't mentioned that the kiss hadn't happened in the
bar where they'd first met, after Chapel had gone looking for her. "It's true."
"I'm
very glad." He nodded to the link
in the message. "See what's
there."
A
marriage license. Term. One year.
Between James Tiberius Kirk and Christine Marie
Chapel. Dated two days before
she'd reported to duty.
"This
is a forgery."
"Yes,
unless we got married and weren't aware of it." He nuzzled her neck as she read. "It's a very, very good forgery. I had Spock look at it. He hacked into it--even from the back end, he
said it looks legit."
"Spock
knows we're not married?"
"'Fraid so.
He congratulated me anyway."
He laughed. "So, Doctor,
would you do me the honor of making this lie the
truth? I can marry us, you know. Captain on the ship and all
that."
"You
can't officiate at your own wedding."
"I
can do anything. At
least today." He undid the
clips in her hair, smoothed it off her face.
"If you don't want this, then we don't have to use it. Lori can no doubt cause it to cease to be as
easily as she had it created. She will,
however, take that as a sign of interest on your part."
She
smiled. But then she muttered,
"This is not romantic, just so you know."
"We
had romance. Down on Earth. Look how badly I screwed that up." He drew her to the bed. "I promise to make it romantic from here
on."
"You
better. Because Lori's waiting and she
looks like she'd be hell on wheels in bed."
He
smiled, a fond smile.
"She is."
Chapel
slugged him, harder than was probably necessary.
"Not
as hellish as you, though."
"I'll
take that as a compliment." She
pushed him down, crawled on top of him.
"I expect one thing."
He
waited, his smile easy and calm.
"I
expect that if you're not happy with me, you'll tell me."
"I
expect the same thing from you." He
pushed her off him, to her back, and began to pull off her clothes. "I want something else, though."
"What's
that?"
"I
want you to expect me to try to make you happy."
She
smiled.
"And
I want you to try to make me happy--although I think I have farther to make up
in that department than you do. I was
happy with you, Chris. I just hated
everything else about my life."
"I
know." Even
though she didn't. She wished
she did, but she didn't.
"You're
still a terrible liar." He kissed
her softly. "Give me time. I'll make you a believer."
FIN