DISCLAIMER: The Star Trek characters
are the property of Paramount Studios, Inc and Viacom. The story contents are
the creation and property of Djinn and are copyright (c) 2005 by Djinn. This
story is Rated R.
In the Fullness of Time
by Djinn
"Have you seen
this?" Christine laid the padd down on Spock's table, wanted to slam it
down.
He nearly sighed. "I saw it."
"Were you going to tell
me?" She picked the padd up, began
to read: "We question how Ambassador
Spock can hope to help the Horgivian people when he is not astute enough to
recognize a traitor in his midst."
He met her eyes, did not
flinch away. "I saw no purpose in
sharing it with you. This person is
clearly making trouble and is seizing on your presence here only because it
suits his or her purposes."
She sighed.
"Sit down, Christine,
and have breakfast." He indicated
the chair across from him, where another setting had been laid.
She noticed that he'd ordered
her the fruit she liked best and smiled in spite of her irritation. "Don't humor me. And I'm not making too much of this."
"Of course
not." Gentle humor shone in his
eyes.
"This isn't a game,
Spock. You keep saying people will
forget but I've been working with you for three months now, and I don't see any
signs of amnesia. When are they going to
forget that I was close to Valeris and Cartwright?" Or that
she'd been detained in a Federation holding facility for two months because of
it? Only Spock had gotten her out; it had
been his testimony that she was blameless that had set her free. And only a mind meld had proven that to him. Without his help, she might still be in
there.
"It may take years,
Christine."
"You didn't say that
when you convinced me to come work with you."
"It is just one
article."
"This time. But I see the looks we get at Command. No one is happy I'm around."
"You are
exaggerating. And I am happy--or at
least content." An eyebrow rose as
he buttered one of the Horgivian sweet rolls.
"I am, after all, a Vulcan for whom emotion is very
foreign." His eyes seemed to
sparkle again.
"No, you are the master
diplomat, and you always know what to say to calm me down."
He did not say anything, just
ate in good-natured silence.
Sitting down, she picked up
another padd. "I've been reading
the Horgivian government's claims about the destruction of the water
system. I'm not sure this adds up." She called up the report. "They say that the levels of the
biotoxin were point nine eight five. To
get to concentrations that high, you'd need more than could be leaked from what
was in the lab that was blown up by the rebels."
Spock looked over at her,
waiting.
"I've done some
extrapolations. The water wasn't
compromised until it hit point seven eight.
The lab in question had trace amounts at best of the toxin in
question. I think someone added a bit of
oomph to the mix. I mean, if the water
was already in danger, maybe it seemed prudent to force it over into the red
zone?" She handed over the report. "I find it interesting that the only water
supply that was ruined was the one that fed the province where the rebels are
reportedly holed up."
"It is
interesting." He nodded. "I shall mention this at my meeting
today with the First Minister. Perhaps
it will make him more willing to acquiesce to the rebel's demands for a neutral
location. If there are to be talks here,
then the government must meet the rebels at least part way."
"What if they don't want
to talk? What if they just want to kill
them? Your being here may just be a ploy
to get the rebels to show themselves, give up their position."
"That has occurred to
me." He narrowed his eyes. "You learned much in Emergency Ops. I would not expect a doctor to be considering
strategy."
"Or maybe I learned it by
being the big traitor?" She pouted
for a moment, then pulled the bowl of fruit toward her and began to eat.
"Is the karava melon
ripe enough?"
She nodded, looking over at
him and grinning as she did.
"Perfect."
"Good." He went back to studying the padd, and she
noticed he had put the other one--the one with the damning letter about
her--away. Somewhere it would not set
her off again, no doubt.
Smart man.
--------------
Spock watched those around
him at Command as he walked down the corridor with Christine. In the past, he had not paid much attention
to how anyone reacted to him or to the two of them. But since it appeared to bother her, he had
begun to track the reaction.
And she had been right. She did get some unfriendly looks--especially
from the brass. Spock looked over at
her. For once, she was lost in her padd,
seemed to be navigating the corridor more on instinct than anything else.
He decided not to mention his
observations.
"This is interesting,"
she said without looking up.
He glanced at her. "So it would appear. You have been absorbed in that since we left
the staff meeting." Commander
Kavinksy from Medical had given it to her after the morning meeting.
Grinning, she closed the
report and gave him her attention.
"I'm sorry, did you want to talk?"
"Not
particularly."
She laughed, and he wondered
if in the past she would have taken offense at such an honest--if
unflattering--answer.
"Can I go back to my
padd then?" she asked.
"What is the report about?"
"Containment procedures
for Rigellian Fever."
"Yes, you may go back to
it."
Laughing again, she pulled
the report back up and resumed reading.
He let her use whatever sonar got her through the corridors without
colliding with anyone else--had she learned that skill in Emergency
Operations? When it was time to turn
into an adjacent corridor, he gently steered her to the right. She did not appear to notice.
He imagined the old Christine
would have been instantly aware he had touched her--but this was not the old
Christine, which was something that he was increasingly aware of. He knew he was not the old Spock. Valeris had changed them both when she had
betrayed them. She had pretended to love
them, left Christine's life in shambles when she'd been jailed. Left his emotions jumbled and his faith
nearly torn into shreds. One woman--not
even a very big one--to cause so much damage.
"Admiral Michaelson will
be chairing this meeting," Spock murmured.
Christine put the padd down
in a hurry and glared at him--Michaelson had been the lone voice on the review
panel recommending continued detainment after Spock had testified for her. "You're telling me now?"
"Yes. I did not want you to obsess."
"Obsess? I don't obsess. Besides, he hates me."
"That may be too
strong."
The conference door came in
sight; Michaelson was standing outside talking to a captain. He saw Spock and nodded, then he looked past
him, completely ignoring Christine to say hello to another officer who was
behind them.
"Too strong?" she
muttered.
"Christine." He did not like warning her, but he also knew
she was capable of saying anything if her emotions took charge. Since her detainment, she appeared to believe
she had little to lose.
"I'll be good," she
said, following him to seats along the wall.
"You can sit at the table, Spock.
You're a high enough rank."
"I will sit with
you," he said calmly. He remembered
when Janice Lester had taken over Jim's body during their five-year mission;
Christine had sat with him like this.
She had pushed past the guards and sat down on the bench next to him, in
clear defiance of a trusted commanding officer she'd had no reason to rebel
against. Except that she believed in
Spock.
He would do no less for her
now.
Michaelson came in, starting
the meeting. The conversations died down,
and he looked around the room, his eyes settling on Spock. "There's room at the table,
Captain."
"I am comfortable here,
sir." Spock nodded graciously,
trying to show that he appreciated the invitation, even if he did not like the
motives behind it.
Michaelson's lips tightened
but he let it go and sat down. As he
turned to one of the other ranking officers, Spock glanced over at Christine.
"Thank you," she
mouthed.
He nodded almost infinitesimally,
then turned his full attention to the meeting.
---------------
Christine walked down the
familiar corridor, could hear the noise of Ops ahead. Her heart was pounding loudly; she wondered
if anyone around her could hear it. But
no one seemed to be paying her any attention.
The room, as she slipped in
through the back entrance, was bustling.
And there were a lot of smiles.
Must have had a victory somewhere--and a good one by the look of it.
She stood there a moment,
remembering how it felt to be a part of this.
Then several officers turned to her.
"Christine?" Major Edmundson rushed over, his face
lighting up in a way his marine commanders might frown on--it made him look
about sixteen. "Good god, it's been
a long time. Where have you been?"
Lieutenant Commander Wilkins
smiled at her. "We'd heard you'd
been transferred to diplomatic."
"It's true. I have."
Christine glanced around the room.
There were a few people staring at her in less than friendly ways, but for
the most part, she was being ignored.
"How are things?"
Edmundson rolled his
eyes. "You know how it is after
something like this. Lots of reg
changes, policy reviews. Everyone wants
to make sure another Cartwright can't happen."
"Or another
Valeris," Wilkins said. "I never
saw that coming. Either of them. But especially not her. She was so...competent."
Christine forced her face to
remain as neutral as she could. Valeris
had been far more than competent. She'd
been amazing. Except for when she'd been
with Jim, Christine had never felt more the focus of someone's attention as she
had with Valeris. Unfortunately, Spock had
been feeling the same way. Valeris had
been quite the little actress.
"We tried to come see
you while you were detained," Wilkins said softly. "They wouldn't let us in."
"I know." She'd heard this from several friends. But it had hurt at the time. She'd thought they'd all abandoned her.
"What they
did--Christine, you know most of us don't think you had anything to do with
what happened?" Edmundson cleared
his throat, as if searching for something else to say.
She touched his arm,
smiling. "I know, Jason."
"Wow. Never thought I'd see him in here." Wilkins nodded toward the door.
Christine turned, saw that
Spock was standing at the door, his eyes on the big board. Unlike Jim, he'd never spent much time in
Ops, never seemed to feel a need to get back out into space even vicariously. "He's my new boss," she murmured.
"Well, what more do some
people need then? If he's willing to
have you around...?" Wilkins looked
very irritated on her behalf, and Christine felt touched.
"I appreciate the
support, Maya."
"I just feel bad. You were here so long. And you were really good. And now...you're just not here? That's not fair."
"It's life
though." Christine shrugged. "And life isn't fair."
If life were fair, Jim would
be alive, and Valeris and Cartwright wouldn't have betrayed them all for a
cause that made no sense. And Christine
wouldn't have been stuck in that detainment center.
She laughed softly. She needed to let this anger go. Spock told her that often enough. And, as usual, he was right.
She turned to look at him,
found him watching her. His expression
lightened, and she had the feeling he was asking her if she was ready to go.
"I'll see you guys. Duty calls."
"How can you tell?"
Edmundson asked.
"She speaks Vulcan
blank-face. Remember how well she could
read Valeris?" Wilkins
frowned. None of them had read Valeris
very well. "I mean--"
"--Don't think too hard
about it. It'll make you
crazy." Christine gave each of them
a quick hug, which wasn't exactly regulation, but she didn't much care anymore.
By the way they hugged her
back, they didn't care either.
As she joined Spock at the
door, he said softly, "Exorcising demons, Christine?"
"Maybe."
He only nodded, and they
walked back to his office in silence. As
she got ready to turn off to go to her own office, he said, "There is a
reception tonight at the Vulcan embassy.
A harpist who is quite renowned will be performing. Would you like to accompany me?"
She smiled at him. "Officially? In uniform?"
"No. I am going merely as the son of the
Ambassador." His lips curled up
very slightly. "You do not have to
wear a uniform to this. In fact, it
would be preferred that you do not."
"Would it?"
He nodded slowly.
"I'd love to go."
"Excellent. I shall pick you up at seven."
"Okay." She walked away, then turned to look at
him.
He already had his head down,
studying something on a padd. He looked
up, his eyebrow rising. "Yes?"
Shaking her head, she said,
"Nothing. Sorry. See you at seven."
Nodding, he went back to his
reading.
She walked out, thankful that
Sarek and Amanda had invited her to receptions at the Embassy when she was in
Emergency Ops. She knew exactly what to
expect--and what to wear.
The only thing that would be
new would be being there with Spock.
-------------------
Spock stood by his father and
watched Christine as she navigated the room, nodding pleasantly to those around
her but never seeming to pause long enough to have to talk to anyone. There were several Starfleet higher-ups at
the party; he noticed that she avoided them entirely, but managed to do it in a
way that seemed by chance rather than planned.
"She has suffered for
her associate's crimes?" Sarek asked softly.
Spock turned to him,
surprised that his father would be so sensitive to nuance.
"My son, you do not need
to look at me that way. I know she was
in the detention center, just as I know that it was you who arranged her
release. And now she works with
you. It is logical to assume you are
concerned in some way for her well being."
Spock nodded, slightly shamed
that his father seemed to be more tuned in than he was to what was going
on. "There are some who would like
to see her pay for crimes I do not believe she was involved in."
"There are always some
who feel that way. Often it is those who
have the most reason to be afraid of eyes turning to them who denounce the
loudest."
Spock frowned. "You are referring to Michaelson?"
Sarek nodded. "Early in his career, an older cadet
took an interest in him, helped him along.
Can you not deduce who that older cadet might have been?"
"Cartwright."
Sarek nodded. "If Michaelson is making trouble for
her, I will be happy to speak to him on her behalf."
"I do not believe that
will be necessary, Father. But I
appreciate the offer."
"I am...fond of
Commander Chapel, Spock." Sarek let
his eyebrow rise. "Although,
perhaps not as fond of her as you are."
It was Spock's turn to let
his eyebrow soar.
"I believe this is the
first time you have brought a companion to an Embassy function." Then Sarek's expression clouded. "Other than Valeris, of course."
Spock nodded, resisting the
urge to sigh softly. Why was it that
Valeris always managed to insert herself into his activities? "Yes.
Other than Valeris."
Christine eased between
several other guests and made her way over to them. She smiled and murmured, "Thank
you," as Spock handed her a glass of a Vulcan red wine he knew she liked.
"Are you enjoying the
harpist?" Sarek asked her.
She looked over at the
musician. "Truthfully?"
Spock was surprised to see
Sarek give her a look very close to a smile.
"I am used to you speaking truth to me, Commander."
She sighed. "The music is lovely. When I remember to pay attention to it, I
enjoy it tremendously."
"And what has your
attention so riveted that you cannot pay attention to one of Vulcan's premier
musicians?" Sarek had lost the
lightness. He seemed to want to draw her
out; a move Spock was not sure was a good idea.
Christine did not appear to
be in the mood to be drawn out.
"Work, mainly. Your son
keeps me very busy." She winked at
Spock, and he suspected it was as much to beg forgiveness for the evasion as
out of any amusement.
"Yes, he demands much
from himself and those around him."
Spock, seeing that Sarek
seemed about to say more, said softly to her, "Perhaps you would like to
walk in the gardens?"
She looked very
relieved. "That sounds nice." As they left Sarek, she smiled softly. "There you go, rescuing me again."
"I thought a change of
venue might be prudent. But you did not
require rescuing from my father. He
actually admitted to me that he is quite fond of you."
"Did he?" She smiled.
"I'm quite fond of him too."
She sipped at her wine, her arm pushing against his occasionally as they
walked the torch-lit paths.
"He had some interesting
insights on Michaelson."
She turned to look at him.
"Apparently, Admiral
Cartwright was a friend and sponsor of his when they were both in the
Academy."
"I know."
"You knew that? Why did you not tell me?"
"Because having been the
victim of a witch hunt, I don't feel like starting one. No matter how much I might despise the
man." Her face was stormy, and she
took a long drink from her wine.
"Perhaps you should go
slowly--the wine is strong."
"It's no stronger than
any other wine, Spock." Her voice
was curt. "Don't you get tired of
this?"
"Of what?"
"Of having to...look out
for me. Having to worry about me? Because I'm sure getting tired of
it." She finished her wine in one
gulp.
He was glad the Embassy staff
had not set up refreshment tables in the gardens, did not think becoming
intoxicated would help her mood.
A Vulcan couple walked past
them, murmuring pardons as they moved gracefully by.
"What do they think of
us?"
"Think?"
"You and me? Vulcan and Human?"
He lifted an eyebrow. "I am half human."
"Not what I
asked." She seemed in an odd
mood. Volatile and ready to fight. "We're together tonight, aren't
we?"
He nodded, unwilling to put
into words any sentiment that might set her off more.
"So, what do they think
of that?"
"I do not know,
Christine. But if you wish, I will go
find them and inquire." His words
came out more sarcastic than he intended, much as if he'd been sparring with
Doctor McCoy. He suddenly worried that
he would hurt her feelings.
But instead she just laughed. "God,
Spock. When did I become such a mess?"
She took his arm, the shock of her skin on his--and the rush of her
emotions, which were, indeed, tangled--causing him to almost pull away. She looked up at him in alarm, letting go of
him. "I'm sorry. I don't know what I was thinking."
He reached down and gently placed
her hand back onto his arm. Resuming
their walk, he said softly, "If I object to something you do, I will tell
you."
"Your body language did
tell me, Spock." Her tone was
brusque, but she smiled, and she didn't pull away.
"To pull away was an
instinctive reaction. It was not,
however, the reaction I intended. You
know I am unaccustomed to physical contact."
Her face twisted, and her
tone was mean when she said, "Is that what you told Valeris when you were
screw--"
His finger on her lips
stopped her. He could feel his eyes
narrowing, shook his head slowly.
"Why are you attacking me, Christine?"
She pulled away from him,
moved over to a bench and sat down, staring at the crushed rock of the
path. "I don't know."
"Do you not wish to be
here?"
"I'm glad I'm
here."
He let an eyebrow lift be his
counter to that statement.
"I'm mostly glad I'm
here?" She smiled sheepishly. "I'm just tired, Spock. So damn tired." She did look tired--her eyes lacked their
normal sparkle, were rimmed with dark purple, as if bruised.
He nodded, touching her face
gently, as if he could erase the circles with his finger. "I am aware you are exhausted. You should take some leave. As I plan to do. When I go home in two weeks."
She looked down.
"Yes. I should do that."
He could tell she had not
understood what he was trying to say.
But he had said it very badly, so it was not entirely surprising that
she had not picked up his hidden message.
"I meant to say you should take leave and come with me. To Vulcan."
"Come with you?"
He nodded. It was entirely impulsive of him to ask her
to come. But he suddenly wanted her to
very much.
"Are you sure I won't be
a downer?"
"No. I am not sure of that." He knew by her small smile that she could
tell he was teasing her. "Will you
come with me?"
"Spock. I don't know.
You've done enough."
"I am not asking out of
obligation. Or out of duty. I wish you to come with me."
She finally nodded, but her
expression was more one of surrender than of anticipation.
He decided not to dwell on
that.
-------------------
Christine waited with Spock
in the embarkation lounge. The shuttle
that the Embassy had arranged to take Sarek and his family home had been held up;
their pilot was waiting for other traffic to clear the bays before it could dock
to pick them up.
She felt restless, and a
little cranky. Her head hurt, and she
felt exposed in the lounge area. She'd
felt this way since they'd let her out of the detention center--like someone
was watching her, always watching her.
It was odd. In the Center, she
had felt as if the walls had been closing in on her. Now, free of that place, she felt like there
was too much room.
"I'll be right
back," she said, getting up and heading to the lavatory. She forced herself to breathe normally--she was
fine. No one was watching her.
As she started to walk back
to where Spock and his parents sat, she saw someone turn from the refreshment counter,
felt her stomach clench as Michaelson nearly collided with her.
"Commander." His voice fairly dripped disdain.
"Ron."
He looked around, as if
afraid that others would hear her call him by name. "That's Adm--"
"--My mistake,
Admiral." She tried to push past
him.
He stopped her. "You've got support now. Powerful support. I won't take on Sarek, if that's what you're
wondering?"
Frowning, she turned to
him. "What are you talking
about?"
He laughed. "Don't play innocent with me. You think I don't see through your affinity
for things Vulcan?" He leaned
in. "I don't trust you. Don't think that just because I'm backing off
that I'm giving up."
She sighed. "Spock cleared me."
"Yes. And Spock was quite close to Valeris, wasn't
he? Maybe Spock's not to be trusted? No one ever bothered to check that, did
they? And since the man who probably knew
best died on the Enterprise B, how can they?"
"Don't even--
"--That was an accident,
right?" His smile got even
snider. "Oh, wait. You were involved with Kirk, weren't
you? And those rumors...about Spock and
him. Maybe the conspiracy goes far, far
deeper than anyone knows."
"Jim stopped the
assassination."
Michaelson nodded, shrugging
as if conceding the point. "Maybe
Kirk wasn't in on it. But Spock? And You?" He leaned in.
"I've never known Sarek to involve himself in the affairs of a
Starfleet officer before. Unless it
involved getting his son or his son's friends out of hot water. And you were the one who called him in for
that after Kirk stole the Enterprise for Sarek's son, possibly at Sarek's
request. My, how tangled is this
web?"
"Why are you doing this,
Ron? You were Matthew's friend."
His face clouded. "That was a long time ago."
"Just because you were
his friend, doesn't mean you're guilty. It
doesn't mean that any of us are."
He didn't answer, just gave
her a cold smile and walked away.
She could feel a chill settle
over her. She walked slowly over to
where Spock and the others sat.
Sarek stood and turned to
her. "Our ship is ready." He led Amanda down the ramp.
"Spock. Maybe this isn't a good idea." She set her bag down.
He picked it up. "Christine, the ship is
ready."
She looked down, fought to
not cry. Then she felt his hand on her
elbow, gently steering her toward the ramp.
"I saw you talking with
Michaelson. He upset you?"
"No," she said,
staring at the carpeting as it changed from red to black to gray squares. The carpet in the detention center had been the
same pattern.
Michaelson wanted her to go
back there. Or somewhere worse. Her and Spock and Sarek. But they'd
done nothing.
"Here, sit." Spock eased her into a seat, stowing her bag
and his own, before joining her, sitting close to her, as close as he'd sat
that time on Excelsior, when he'd convinced her to come work with him.
She could feel his warmth
even through the robe he wore, appreciated the comforting feel of him as he
pressed his arm lightly against hers.
"I should go."
"It is too late,"
he said.
And she felt the ship lurch
slightly as it broke free of the spacedock and the pilot gave the impulse
engines a kick.
"Christine?" Amanda's voice was gentle. "Is something wrong?"
"Michaelson." Spock looked at his father.
"I thought he would
leave you alone after I..." Sarek
looked at his son, seemed to take a step back even though he hadn't moved.
"Father, I asked you not
to interfere."
"Yes, Spock. You did.
But I was in a meeting with him, and after something he said, I felt it
prudent to say something to him in private."
Christine felt as if she was
underwater, could barely hear what they were saying. She pushed her head against the headrest and
tried not to cry. Then she felt Spock's
hand finding her own, gently squeezing and not pulling away, but tightening
slowly on hers until she squeezed back.
Until she held onto him as if he was keeping her from falling off the edge
of a cliff.
"He won't stop,"
she said. "He thinks I'm
guilty."
"He is wrong,"
Spock said, his tone brooking no argument.
"And he is just one man."
She sighed. Then she took a deep breath, was dismayed
when it sounded ragged. "Let's
forget it. Just forget it."
Spock turned to look at her,
his hand tightening on hers again, and she suddenly felt trapped. She tugged, saw him frown slightly, but he
let go of her. "Christine?"
"I'm all right. I'm just tired." She turned away, nestling against the cushion
of the bulkhead. She closed her eyes,
knew he was watching her and willed herself to pretend to fall asleep.
She heard him sigh. The sound was as ragged as her own breathing.
------------------
"Father, if you have a
moment," Spock said, as he saw his father pass his room.
"Of course, my
son." Sarek moved closer to the
door.
"I am uncertain why you
believed it advisable to interfere in Christine's affairs, but I wish you had
not."
"I thought it
best." Sarek's voice was the voice
of old, the father who could never be made to see any point but his own.
Spock could feel his mouth
tightening. He had not wanted to bring
this up at dinner for just this reason, could feel annoyance growing into
something stronger. Something older.
"Oh, Spock. Do not look at me that way. Admiral Michaelson will not make trouble for
Christine any longer."
"I am not certain that
is true. But that is not the point that
concerns me. This was a private matter,
and I specifically told you that your aid was not required, yet you intervened
anyway."
Sarek's eyes seemed to
glimmer for a moment, the way they had when Spock was young and arguing with
him. "Spock, I have been dealing
with humans for far more years than you have.
I know how to behave. And what is
required."
"And I think you do
not. And it was not your decision to
make."
"Nor was it yours,
Spock." His mother pushed past
Sarek. "You are acting as if
Christine has no say in this matter. Did
either of you think to include her in these deliberations?"
Spock looked at Sarek, who
only raised an eyebrow.
"I thought not."
"Mother, you
oversimplify this."
"Spock"--his mother
took his arm--"you, my dear, are not thinking clearly where she is
concerned. And your father"--she glared at Sarek--"seems to always
have difficulty with reason when it has to do with you." She shook her head. "Come out to the main room. Both of you.
Christine will be waiting."
Spock let his mother pull him
past his father. He was about to say
something to lighten the mood, when he saw Christine standing at the door to
her room, staring at them all.
"Christine?"
"This isn't going to
work. You're arguing over me."
"Oh, Christine, they'd
argue over the color of the sky. Don't
take it personally."
"Michaelson
said..." She looked down. "This isn't good for any of you. To be helping me."
Spock pulled away from his
mother, took a step toward Christine.
"I have told you; Michaelson is one man. In a fleet of many more."
"It's not as if he's not
a rank ensign, Spock. He's an
admiral. An admiral who wants me drummed
out--or locked up."
"He is only one admiral
of many."
"Not very
comforting. I haven't seen any of the
others rushing over to say hello lately, have you?"
"Did they before,
dear?" Amanda smiled at her. "I mean, if they did, and now they're
not, well, then perhaps you have a point.
But if not...?"
"You've spent too much
time with Vulcans," Christine said, as she turned away.
Spock hurried after her,
catching her arm before she could get too far.
"Christine. Do not
overreact."
She tore her arm away. "Don't tell me what to do." Then she rushed off.
He started to follow her, but
Amanda stopped him.
"I'll go," she
said.
Spock stood in the hallway,
realized his hands were clenched and forced them to relax.
Sarek moved up to stand near
him. "Your mother, at times, has
made me clench my fists in just such a manner." He shared a long look with Spock. "It is a side effect of caring for a
human, I believe."
Spock allowed himself a sigh.
"One also learns how to
sigh quite expressively," Sarek said, with a knowing lift of his eyebrows.
"Indeed," Spock
murmured.
Coming back, his mother shook
her head. "She's gone out. For a walk, I think. You should go after her. And work on your apologies. Both of you."
"Both of us?" Sarek looked at Spock.
"Yes, both of you. You can also work out what it means, my
husband, when our son tells you not to interfere in his or Christine's
affairs. I think, for all of our future
happiness's sake, that this is a discussion worth having."
"As you wish,"
Sarek said, and Spock looked at him in surprise.
"Concession is also a
side effect," his father muttered as they walked down the hall toward the
front door.
---------------------
Christine heard the door to
the courtyard open, then it closed again.
The steps coming toward her were unhurried and sounded too light to be
Spock.
"I thought I'd find you
here." Amanda moved easily through
her roses, her robes swishing softly as she passed. She turned to look at Christine. "Spock and Sarek are out looking for
you."
"Both of
them?" Christine shook her head.
"Never underestimate the
tenacity of the Vulcan male, my dear.
And I may have indicated you went out the front door, not the side one. And that they both should go after you. It will give them time together and give us
time. Win-win, wouldn't you say?" With a gentle smile, Amanda moved
closer. "May I join you?" she
said, indicating the spot next to her on the bench.
"Of course." Christine slid over slightly, making room,
although she didn't need to--Amanda was so tiny.
"I love it
here." Amanda sighed softly. "I used to come here when Sarek and I
were first married. It didn't look like
this then, but it was still a place to hide when I needed to think." Amanda reached over and took Christine's hand
in hers, never turning to look at her.
"Our marriage was rocky at the start. I loved him, but he was so different. And Vulcan?
I hated it here. Loathed it with
every fiber of my being." She did
turn, smiling slightly. "The pain
is far away now, but it was real back then."
"I'm sure it was."
"But time helps,
Christine. It helps in so many
ways." Amanda's eyes seemed to
sparkle in the low light. "Look at
my son, out there searching frantically for a woman he used to flee from."
"Flee?" Christine made a face. But it was no doubt true. He most likely had fled from her.
"Well, avoided at any
rate. He is not avoiding you any longer,
dearest."
"I know."
"Are you in love with
him?"
It took her a long time to
answer. "Yes."
Amanda laugh was
brittle. "You don't have to sound
so mournful about it, Christine."
"I'm sorry." Christine grimaced; she was talking to
Spock's mother, for cripe's sake.
"It's all right. I think this is very confusing for you. And for Spock too."
"He seems fine with
it. Hell bent, even." Christine gestured to the garden, then the
house. "Him bringing me here is a
good case in point."
"Yes, we were rather
surprised. Although pleased." Amanda smiled. "You don't approve of his interest? It is unwelcome?"
"No. I told you, I love him."
"Then what's the
problem?" Amanda sounded so like
Jim that Christine had to blink back tears.
"The problem is that I'm
not good for him. Every time he tries to
help someone, they see me, and question his judgment, his ethics. He has a suspected traitor by his side,
Amanda. And he has to be above
reproach."
"My dear, I know how
badly Valeris hurt Spock. If he
believes in you--you who are so closely linked with her and with Admiral
Cartwright--then I know you must be 'above reproach,' or he would not be able
to bear having you anywhere near. I know
my son, Christine, and if he believes in you, then I believe in you."
Christine looked down.
"And Sarek feels the
same way. He and Spock may not always
agree, but he does believe in his son.
And in Spock's judgment when it comes to his friends."
"Yes, look how well he did
with Valeris. A woman of 'great'
character," she said, embellishing Sarek's favorite compliment.
"She fooled us all. All of us, Christine. Not just you and not just Spock. It isn't as if you were one or two in a crowd
of people saying, 'Beware Valeris.'"
Christine nodded, but she remembered
how Janice couldn't stand Valeris. She'd
always known...somehow.
"My son is in love with
you, Christine." At her look,
Amanda nodded. "I know him. I know the signs. And he is not trying to hide it from us. He cares deeply for you, and you are pushing
him away. It is most..."
"Ironic?"
"I was thinking more of
unexpected."
"One of Spock's favorite
words."
"Yes, well, he learned
it from me, perhaps?" Amanda
grinned. "He got something else
from me. His contrariness. The more you are denied to him, the more he
will fight for you."
Christine laughed. "If only I'd know that back when I was
making a fool of myself over him."
"It wouldn't have worked
back then. And you know what I'm talking
about. He's stubborn. You have been unfairly accused. Some are telling him that it is ill conceived
to associate with you. And now you are
resisting--it will only make him hang on all the more."
"I'm not sure he
should."
Amanda made a face. "You've never struck me as a
quitter."
"I'm not, but this is
Spock who's being hurt not me."
"If he doesn't mind, why
should you?"
"Maybe he's not thinking
clearly."
Amanda shook her head
gently. "He's a Vulcan, dear. And nowhere near the time when he might not
be thinking clearly. I doubt very much
that he isn't fully capable of deciding for himself what is right."
"You don't
understand. I could go be a doctor. Anywhere.
And they'd overlook my background--and my supposed treachery." She shook her head. "But being with Spock, I'm reminded
daily by those around us how I don't quite measure up anymore."
"Ah. Finally something that is about
you." Amanda's hand tightened on
hers. "Do you think I'm a stranger
to that? What do you think it was like coming
to this planet? To wed someone of
Sarek's status? Me: a lowly human, and not
a particularly brilliant one. And for
love? Do you have any idea how hard it
was to get from one day to the next?"
Amanda got up, walked over to a particularly hardy bloom. "Do you have any idea how hard it is to
grow roses in this soil? It takes
tenacity. It takes cussed human stubbornness." She bent to smell the rose. "And it takes love."
Christine looked down.
"If you don't love my
son, then go pack your bags, and I'll take you to the spaceport myself. But if you love him, Christine, then you need
to fight for him." Amanda straightened
up. "The way I did for Sarek all
those years ago."
Christine looked over at
her. "Did he ever waver?"
"Never. Only I did, when I got tired and afraid. I know you've been through a lot. I know you are tired--and that you're
afraid. You're safe here. And you're welcome." Amanda walked toward her, reaching down and
setting her hands on Christine's arms, shaking her a little. "Spock is like his father, you know. Once he chooses, he does not
waver." She frowned for a
moment. "Well, Gol aside."
Christine laughed. "Let's consider that an aberration."
Amanda nodded. "I'll tell you a secret. It gives me a little thrill seeing my
half-Vulcan son choose to love a human."
She grinned, the expression a little twisted. "He hasn't done so well with the
full-Vulcans."
"You're so sure that
he'll do better with me?"
Amanda nodded. "A mother knows these things." She cocked her head, as if hearing things in
the thin Vulcan air that Christine could not.
"Spock and Sarek are back.
Perhaps you should go reassure my son that you have not vanished into
thin air?"
Christine smiled and got up. It was very difficult to fight this woman.
"You should reassure him
well, Christine. The rooms are quite
soundproof." With a wink, Amanda
left her alone.
Christine bent down and
smelled the rose that Amanda had touched.
It was lovely--strong, and sweet, and smelling of Earth. She sighed, then hurried into the house.
-----------------
Spock heard the door to the
courtyard open and rushed out of his room.
"Mother? Did she come
back?"
"She never left,
Spock." Amanda smiled as Christine
came into the house, through the courtyard door.
"I was...concerned,"
he said.
Christine didn't meet his
eyes. "I know." She pushed past him, into her bedroom. But she left the door open.
Following her in, he gently closed
the door. "Are you all right?"
She nodded. She seemed to be holding herself tightly, too
tightly. The way she had at the
detention center when he'd come to get her out.
"You can't always save
me, Spock," she said, as if she was reading his mind.
He moved closer. "I was not aware you required
saving."
"I don't." She turned, and he was surprised to see that
she was crying. "You need saving
from me."
"I do?" He let one eyebrow go up, was grateful when
she laughed through her tears.
"You do." She tried to push past him again, but this
time he reached out and stopped her progress, pulling her close.
He could feel her emotions
thrumming into his skin wherever he touched her. So many emotions warring inside her: love, fear, pain, grief still, and
guilt. Letting go of her with one hand,
he brushed back her hair, his fingers lingering on her lovely non-pointed ears.
"Why do I need
saving?" he asked.
She still would not meet his
eyes. "Because I'm bad for
you."
"I do not think you
are."
"You're not exactly
objective here."
"No?"
She shook her head.
"And why is that?"
She frowned, her mouth
turning down as if she was angry with him for having asked that particular
question. "You know why."
"I do not. Please tell me."
She tried to shrug out of his
grip, so he pulled her closer.
"Christine?"
"You want me."
"That is
correct." He nearly smiled. It was quite easy to tell her how he felt
when she did the talking. "What
else do I feel for you?" His tone
was too light; he saw that immediately by the way she tensed.
"This isn't a damn
game."
"It is anything but a
game, Christine." He pulled her
closer, until their bodies touched in places that normally kept a respectable distance.
She moaned, and he smiled,
pleased at the reaction. It mirrored his
own, even if he had not given voice to the shock he'd felt as her body rubbed
along his. He forced her chin up so he
could see her face. By the way she was
still not looking at him, he realized she was not going to fill in the blanks
any longer.
"I care about you,"
he said. "Deeply."
She swallowed hard. "Don't."
"Why not?" The barrage of emotions slipping through his
fingertips increased. "Do you no
longer love me?"
Closing her eyes, she leaned
into him, her mouth lifting up to his in what he thought was an unconscious
move. He felt irresistibly drawn to
touch her lips with his own. The kiss
was chaste--for a moment. Then she
opened her mouth to let him in, and he did not try to temper what he felt, what
he wanted from her.
When he finally pulled away,
they were both breathing harder.
"You did not answer my question, Christine."
"You know I love
you." She pulled him back to her,
kissing him with a passion he'd only ever seen in Valeris's memories. Now, this was his. Now, this was only for him.
"As I love you," he
murmured, pushing her back to the bed.
He did not intend to lose
momentum with her. She might try to run
again if he hesitated. He pulled off her
shirt, pushed down her pants. She looked
up at him, surprise in her eyes.
"I will stop if you do
not wish to continue."
"That's okay." She smiled suddenly, a brilliant
expression. "You can keep
going."
"Perhaps, some
assistance on your part...?"
She began to tear his clothes
off, and he knew that if she had looked up, she would have seen a very
satisfied glint in his eyes. He made
short work of her underthings, could feel her doing the same to his. Then they were on her bed, skin to skin,
kissing like mad things.
He had never kissed Valeris
this way, although he was fairly certain Christine had. He pushed her to her back, kissing her places
he'd seen that she liked in her own and Valeris's memories. She moaned, her hands grasping him in a soft
way that became harder the more he touched her.
When she bucked under his mouth, her cries echoing in the bedroom, he
felt a surge of satisfaction--and also relief that his parents had been so
insistent on soundproofing when they'd remodeled the house.
Then she was pulling him up
and he did not resist, kissing her even as his body joined with hers as if making
love was something they had been doing all their lives. He did moan then, the feeling one of
completion and rightness. Had he been
meant for this woman all this time? What
life had they missed because he had run from her for so long?
She was smiling, her eyes
half lidded as she kissed him again.
"Christine...I know...it
has been difficult...for you." He
found it hard to talk, hard to do anything but move over her.
"I had you," she
said, her nails digging into his back.
Closing his eyes, he
abandoned conversation, but moved his hands to the meld points, then hesitated. The meld would enhance the sex, but it might
also be too much, too soon. Sometimes
insight could destroy, not bring together.
He did not want to know that
he was not pleasing her the way Valeris had.
That she was comparing him to her or Jim or any other lover she might
have had.
He started to lift his
fingers away from her face, but she pushed them back down. He opened his eyes, saw her watching him, her
smile growing.
"Do it." She looked so beautiful lying underneath him,
her mouth opening for his again.
He pushed his mind into her, heard
her gasp at the possessive way he'd done it.
Not like before, not like the gentle meld he'd used to find out the
truth when she'd been in the detention center.
This had been him claiming her.
He let his mind wander, braced himself for truths he might not want to
see.
But there was only her
pleasure and her love for him beating down around him. He could feel the ghosts of the
others--Valeris, Jim, more others than he'd expected. He could hear her chuckling.
"You weren't
interested. Did you expect me to be a
saint?"
"No. Of course not."
She laughed again--they could both tell that he had expected exactly that.
"I love you," she
said, and there was a lilt in her voice and in the emotions spilling into him
that had not been there before.
"I love you," he
said mind to mind, and with his voice, letting his lips follow up the theme as
he kissed her, moving faster over her.
He reached the peak, felt himself beginning to fall and could feel her
holding him.
"Let go," she said.
And he did. Riding her almost brutally, he felt no fear
from her, only exhilaration--she too had feared that he would compare her to
Valeris.
He and Valeris had
never...not like this. He opened his
eyes, saw her grinning.
"Welcome back," she
said, kissing him softly.
A sigh was his only answer. He eased off her, felt her moving so she was
cuddled against him. Pulling her closer,
he wrapped himself around her, suddenly wanting to protect her, needing to
protect her.
He did not realize the meld
was still active until she whispered, "You can't protect me, Spock. But I love that you want to."
"If you were to marry
me, they could not say anything against you."
"Yes, they could. They just wouldn't." She kissed his chest. "I won't hide behind you."
He felt a surge of emotion. "You do not wish to marry me?"
"I didn't say
that." She laughed softly, a bit
sadly. "But not yet. Not if it looks like I'm running away from
something."
"I
understand." He turned his face
away, felt another emotional barrage from deep inside him. He was disappointed?
She pulled him back so she
could kiss him. "Ask me again. When the talk dies down. If you still want me then?" She stroked her hand over him, making him
jump. As if reminding him why he might
still want her then.
"I will still want to
marry you," he said.
She laughed.
"Something is
funny?"
She nodded. He tried to read her expression, but her head
was against his chest, and he could not see her eyes.
"Us. We're funny, Spock." She burrowed more firmly against him, and he
realized she was crying. "All this
time...and now..."
Stroking her arm gently, he
enjoyed the feel of her skin against his fingers. Soft, she was as soft as he had imagined her
all those years ago--when he had allowed himself to imagine what it might have
been like with her. "It is..."
"Unexpected?"
He allowed a small smile. "I was thinking of ironic."
She began to laugh, and he
was not sure why what he had said was funny.
"Ironic is the better
word," she said, then she pulled away from him and met his eyes. Tears were bright in her eyes, and she
blinked, letting the tears fall down her cheeks.
He kissed them from her
face. "We will be fine,
Christine. In time, everything will be
fine."
Smiling, she eased down next
to him. "Has anyone ever told you
that you're a Pollyanna, Spock?"
He knew the reference. "I am a pragmatist." He tugged at the spread, somehow managing to
get it over them despite their lying on top of it.
"Right." She began to move her hand lower, lower, and
then-- "You're very
sensitive," she said, her voice low and throaty.
He touched her in a similar
place, felt her jump. "As are you,
Christine." He knew that his eyes
were unusually tender when he kissed her, not letting go of her, making her
jump again. And again.
She didn't let go of him either,
but she did bat his hand away from her long enough to kiss her way down to
where she was causing so much trouble.
Laughing, she did something with her mouth that Valeris had never done.
And he was glad she never had.
When she came up from under
the covers, she was grinning.
"Mine." Her voice was
triumphant.
He nodded. He was hers.
What she had done to him was hers.
It was all hers.
He pushed her to her back,
resumed what he had been doing.
"Mine," he said, in exactly the same tone she had used.
"Forever,
Spock."
Then she gave herself over to
him. His. She was his.
It was ironic and unexpected.
And wonderful.
He felt some part of him that
had been in pain for a very long time finally settle down. Could sense that some part of her also relaxed--the
brittle, hurt part that had risen up in the detention center although it might
have been created long before that.
"We'll be fine,
Spock," she said, whispering back his own words, as she curled against
him.
"Yes," he said.
She had said he could not
protect her, and she was right. But he
could watch over her. As she drifted off
to sleep, he stroked her hair and kissed her cheek. Then he just watched her for a long time
before he finally let himself sleep too.
---------------------
Christine looked across the
negotiation table at Spock. He seemed to
sense her eyes on him and looked up, his expression lightening enough for her
to see his tenderness for her. Smiling,
she bent back to her padd.
"You two need anything
else?" Rand asked, peeking into the conference room.
"We are fine,"
Spock said.
"Okay then. We'll be at Caviosta in twenty-two
hours." She grinned. "I'm hoping you'll be ready for a break
before then? I'd like to steal Christine
away from you, if you don't mind?"
"You will give her
back?" Spock asked, his eyes bland as he looked back at Rand.
She didn't seem to know what to say.
Then she burst out laughing.
"I promise."
"Then I do not
mind." He went back to his padd.
Christine turned to look at
Rand, winking at her.
Rand mouthed, "Oh, my
god," to her, then left them alone.
"If you didn't want her
to know about us, I'm not sure that was the way to keep the secret."
"Why would I wish to
keep our relationship a secret, Christine?" He did not look up at her as he spoke.
She smiled. If he did not feel the need to look at her,
it was an issue he considered not a problem.
Just a statement of fact.
"No reason," she murmured.
"Did you wish it to be a
secret? Perhaps you wanted to forego
sharing a bed tonight?" His tone
was light but there was something else there--something just a little bit
uncertain.
"You mean I might want
to throw you over for Hikaru?"
He didn't answer, but he did
look up at her.
"I think I'll stick with
you."
"You have not grown
tired of our relationship?"
She smiled broadly. Was it possible to get tired of several
months of astoundingly good sex with a man she was crazy about? A man who appeared to be just as crazy about
her--even if he expressed that a bit more diffidently than she did.
He seemed to almost smile and
looked back down. "I shall take
that as a no."
"You do that,
Spock."
They read in silence for a
while. Then he said softly, "Have
you read the section on Caviostan agriculture?"
"Yep." Caviosta was one hell of a fertile
planet. Their grain production alone
could feel half the quadrant.
"What did you make of
it?"
She took a deep breath. "I only know what I've learned from
you--and picked up from the experts we had in ops, but..."
"But...?"
"But I'd call that a bargaining
chip, wouldn't you?"
He nodded, a look of deep
satisfaction on his face as he met her eyes.
"I would indeed."
She grinned. "I'm getting good at this."
"You have been quite
skilled at this for some time. You are
becoming confident."
She shot him a leer. "Wonder why that is?"
He appeared to be blushing
slightly, and she was charmed. Just when
she thought she knew him, he'd do something else that would make her heart
melt. "I would not know, Christine. Why is that?" But he subjected her to a very thorough once-over,
at least of the parts he could see.
She felt herself blushing. "Stop it
or we won't get any work done."
"I did not start
this."
She laughed, found herself
channeling his mother--Amanda was incredibly adept at refereeing between Spock
and Sarek. "But you can be the one
who finishes it."
He shot her a glance, and she
laughed.
"I think Janice is with
Hikaru now." Christine smiled at
his expression--it was almost relieved.
"Then I wish them every
happiness."
"I bet you do."
He looked up at her. "You doubt my sincerity?"
"Not at all. I doubt your motives for that sincerity."
He nodded, looked pleased
again. "You see, another diplomatic
skill evidencing itself. Assessment of
motive."
"Don't try to distract
me, Ambassador mine."
He smiled slightly at the
unexpected endearment, then forced his lips to curve back down. "Christine, you must concentrate."
"I know." She studied him as he went back to the
padd.
He seemed happy with
her. Not that anyone else could probably
tell. There was nothing in his posture,
or his expression, to give it away. But
she just felt it. He was happy. With her.
Even months later, it still
struck her as ironic.
-------------------------
Spock watched Christine walk
along the beach, the sun shining on her hair.
She looked tired; he imagined he did also. But he had promised to bring her here if they
were successful in their latest--and most arduous--mission. And they had been, so here they were. Even though they were both exhausted.
It was impossible to tell
from where they were standing that halfway around Kappa Upsilon, a terrible war
had raged for decades. A war they had
just helped the combatants end. With
talk that had led to arguments and walk-outs and finally--after two months of
histrionics and posturing--to understanding and peace.
He walked out to join her by
the water. She didn't turn but held her
hand out for him. Taking it, he felt her
squeeze gently.
"Are you as tired as I
am?" she asked.
"I am."
"No, you're probably
more tired. This time, you did all the
work."
It was not true. She had supplied him with vital
information--facts, figures, and some data he'd been surprised she'd found for
him. "Did you call in favors for
the order of battle information?"
Her data had varied considerably from what either side or his initial
Starfleet contacts had provided.
She smiled. "Maybe."
"Ops?"
She smiled again. "Maybe."
He touched her hair. "Thank you. It was crucial."
She didn't wave him off, just
nodded. "I know. I was glad I could help."
She leaned against him, and
he wrapped an arm around her, not caring if anyone saw.
"Wow," she said,
"you must be tired if you're going in for public displays." Turning to look at him, she kissed him.
"And you are not above
leveraging that for your own nefarious purposes, are you, Christine?" He kissed her back.
"I am not." She seemed to sag against him. "As much as I'd like to take advantage
of this new spirit of openness, do you think we could go back to our rooms and
sleep?"
"Yes." He held her hand as they walked back to the
shuttle, let her go only when he had to pilot the little craft back to the
capital.
"You know, with this
work, you're doing something good, Spock.
Truly good."
"We are both doing good."
She did wave him away this
time. "But I was thinking of you
for a reason. You're still young. You have a lot of life ahead of you."
He looked over at her. They had never spoken of this.
She smiled, the expression
both proud and sad. "I like thinking that you'll go on doing good
things. That you'll go on making a
difference."
He reached over. "I will do them with you in mind."
She smiled, squeezed his
hand. "That's nice." Then she sighed. "I'm going to get old, and you
won't."
"I will age also."
"But not as much. You'll still be vital. Just like Sarek will be, even as Amanda gets
older."
He did not like to think of
his parents this way. Found it more
unsettling for some reason than considering the same fate for him and
Christine.
"I'm sorry. This is depressing on our victory day."
He shook his head. "It is the way things will be between us
some day. It is good that we talk
now. Because you must understand that I
will never stop loving you."
"Right till the end,
huh?" She smiled but the expression
was off.
"Yes." He put everything he felt for her into the
word.
"I love you,
Spock." She leaned over, kissed
him.
"I thought you were
tired."
"I am. But parts of me are interested." Smiling, she touched his hair, smoothing it
down in the way he found soothing.
"Maybe before we sleep...?"
"If we must." He said it as if she was asking a great deal
of him. Then he looked over at her.
She laughed. "We must."
"Then we
will." He forced his attention back
on the shuttle. It would not do to crash
on their way back. It would make it very
difficult to make love to her if they were dead. He opened the throttle up a little, suddenly
in a hurry to get back to their rooms.
----------------------
"You seem happy to be
back on Vulcan, Christine?" Amanda
looked over from her roses.
"I am happy to be
here." Christine sighed, letting
out any lingering stress. She closed her
eyes in the slight breeze--a breeze that blew hot and dry in the twilight. "Spock and I just spent two weeks on an
icebound asteroid negotiating mining rights.
Believe me, this heat feels great."
Amanda smiled. "My son seems very...happy."
Christine just smiled and was
surprised when Amanda put her shears down and walked over. Laying a hand on Christine's cheek, she said
softly. "Thank you."
Christine laid her hand on
Amanda's. "For what?"
"For loving him."
"I'm the one making out
like a bandit. While poor Spock is stuck
with me."
"You know what I
mean." Amanda laughed and let her
go. "Did you learn that trick from
your friend Leonard? Making a joke
before things get too serious?"
"Like when you realize
you're carrying around your best friend's katra and it might not come
out?" McCoy had been full of jokes
then. Of course, he'd also been half nuts, so the humor hadn't really worked.
Amanda nodded.
"Yeah, I might have
learned it from him."
"When Spock first
brought you here, you weren't joking about much of anything."
"No, I
wasn't." Christine laughed. "I think I have him to thank for that."
"I think so
too." Amanda went back to her
roses. "How long will you two stay
this time?"
"Long enough to warm
up--and barely that. Starfleet wants us
on Cardassia by the end of the week."
Amanda frowned. "I was hoping longer."
"Next time we'll come
back for a longer visit."
"Good." Picking up the blossoms she'd cut, Amanda
walked toward the door. "Stay out
here as long as you wish, dear."
Christine closed her
eyes. She wouldn't stay that long. If she did, she might never leave.
--------------------
They were just leaving the
shuttle from Cardassia, when Spock sensed Christine tensing next to him. He looked over, saw that Admiral Michaelson
had gotten on the spacedock lift with them.
"Sir," Spock said
evenly.
"Captain,"
Michaelson said, ignoring Christine.
"Ron." Her voice dipped dangerously, making two
syllables out of his name.
He smiled, the look full of
malice and turned away.
Spock gave Christine
credit. She waited until the young
lieutenant sharing the lift had exited on a middle deck, and the lift had
resumed, before saying, "Computer, hold lift, authorization Chapel Echo-Omega-Alpha-four-five-four."
The lift jerked to a halt.
"What the hell do you
think you're doing?" Michaelson said.
She didn't smile, didn't react
in any way. "It's time to talk
about this."
"Not in a lift."
"Why? You claustrophobic?" But she moved back, as if giving him room.
"I know you've had a lot
of successes working with Captain Spock here.
But that won't take it away."
She sighed, then she looked
up at him. "The taint of him? Of Matthew?" She moved closer, one step, then another. "You're right. It won't.
He's all over my career. He
helped mold me into what I am. And you
know what, Ron?" She practically
spit his name at him. "He helped
mold you too. And you hate that. That you owe your career and where you are to
that fact that a traitor pushed for you."
"He was scum."
"No! He was not." She advanced on him, and Michaelson stepped
back, until he ran into the lift wall.
"He was a good man. He
backed the wrong cause, that's all. He
hurt people, and I won't excuse that.
And I don't know why he did what he did.
I don't know, and I'll never know.
Because he's dead, and he can't tell us why he did something so
goddamned stupid as lead that conspiracy."
Michaelson started to speak,
but Christine didn't let him get a word in.
"He's a traitor. Matthew
Cartwright is a traitor. But I will not
say he was not my friend. And I will not say he was a bad man at the core, or
that every thing he did in his career meant nothing. And you can't make me. And you hate me for that."
"That's not why I hate
you."
"You know,
Ron." Christine smiled, and Spock
was struck by how much like Jim the wolfish grin made her seem. "You need to lighten up. Take some time off." She shook her head, as if in pity. "You need to get a life. Computer, resume lift."
Then she turned back to
Spock.
"This isn't over,
Chapel." Michaelson was almost
sputtering.
She smiled at him
sweetly. "Yes, Ron. It is.
For me, it is. I'm done worrying
about you. But if you want to make it
your life's work to destroy me, then go ahead.
I can't stop you."
Spock felt this had gone far
enough. "I believe, however, that my family can."
Christine glared at him, but
her hand bumped up against his, her fingers touching his.
"Admiral," Spock
said, "with all due respect, it is long past time to get a
life." As the doors opened, Spock
urged Christine out of the lift.
"Good day, sir. May your
journey be without incident."
Christine led him to the
transporter to Earth, not looking back.
"He is not following
us."
"Oh, thank god. Spock, what the hell was I thinking? He could bring me up on charges."
"I do not believe he
will. This will not show him in a flattering
light, after all."
She seemed to be trying to
take long, deep breaths.
"Christine, it will be
fine."
She nodded, but she still
looked a little panicked. Then she
started to laugh. "As impassioned
speeches go, I think I gave Jim a run for his money."
Spock nearly smiled, caught
the expression before it got out.
"I would concur."
She took another deep
breath. "Let's go home,
Spock."
Home. Her place, or his. He was ready for it to be theirs, for it to
be just one apartment to return to. He
glanced over at her, wondering when, if ever, she would be ready for that too.
---------------------
"Here we are again, home
temporary home," Sulu said, as he showed Christine her quarters. "Not that I think you'll be using these
quarters much."
She smiled slightly, and Sulu
grinned.
"Is Janice using hers
much these days?" She shot him a look and was happy to see him trying to
keep his grin from getting much wider.
"You're happy?"
He nodded.
"I'm glad."
He moved closer, touching the
side of her mouth softly. "This
turns up a lot more than it used to. Funny
to think we have a Vulcan to thank for that."
She laughed. "The Christine Chapel of long ago would
never believe how this is all going to turn out."
"No, I'm sure she
wouldn't. None of us back then would believe how our lives will change."
"That's for
sure."
"Well, I'll let you
sleep." Winking, Sulu walked to the
door. It opened to Spock, hand raised to
ring the chime. "Captain Spock."
"Captain Sulu. Am I interrupting anything?" Spock sounded a little put out, as if he
thought he might be.
"Just two old friends
catching up." Sulu's smile was
easy, hiding nothing.
Spock didn't look entirely
convinced. "Good night then."
"Good night." With a last smile at her, Sulu was gone.
"My. You're territorial tonight." She walked toward Spock, was surprised when
he pulled her close, held her in a tight hug.
"Wait a minute. Are you
sniffing me?"
He let her go, his eyebrow
going up. "Vulcans do have an
extremely acute sense of smell."
"I don't want to
know." She moved close to him
again, kissing his neck. "Do you
smell him on me?"
"No."
"Would you if he and I
had hugged?"
"I am unsure." He gently tugged her chin up so he could kiss
her lips. "But if you and he had
done other things, I would most certainly know it."
"I'll keep that in mind
for the future," she said with a gentle grin, hoping that he took it as a
joke.
"See that you do,"
he said sternly, but his eyes seemed to twinkle.
"Let's see what we can
do about getting your scent all over me, shall we?"
He eyed her bed. "The bed in my quarters is infinitesimally
larger."
"Your place it
is." She let him lead her down and
across the corridor. The room was larger
than hers, and it had a sitting room.
The bed, however, appeared to be identical. "Spock, this isn't any bigger."
He was already pushing her
down. "Yes, it is. But only slightly."
"Define slightly."
"One point two three
centimeters."
"You just wanted to
order me around. Drag me off to your
lair and all that."
"Quite
possibly." He kissed her, his
tongue rough and hard.
She pulled away. "I never loved Sulu. Not that way." She stroked his face, holding him back when
he would have kissed her again.
"I am not jealous."
"Uh huh."
He sighed. Not an almost-sigh, a hearty, slightly fed-up
sigh.
"What?"
"I am weary of
pretending we do not share a room. I am
tired of squeezing together on small beds.
If we were married, we would be assigned quarters more amenable to two
people."
She grinned at him.
"Do not make fun of
this, Christine."
"I'm not." She kissed him, loving the way he was
handling her uniform, as if he couldn't wait to tear it from her body. Loving what he did to her once he had it off. She hoped to hell the Excelsior was as soundproof
as his parents' house--Spock was definitely overachieving in bringing her
pleasure...and in taking his own.
When they finally lay
quietly, cuddled together so that the bed would not feel so small, she said,
"So, you want to marry me solely for your own convenience?"
"I have other motives
for wishing to formalize our union, Christine.
But yes, I am finding the idea of larger accommodations to be a great
incentive."
She smiled. "So this isn't to protect me?"
"Well, it is to protect
you from falling off the bed." He
moved slightly, causing her to rock backwards.
If he hadn't been holding on, she'd have toppled off the bed.
"No need to illustrate
your point, Captain. I believe
you."
He almost smiled.
"Could it be a small
ceremony?"
He shot a look at her, as if
shocked she was discussing it. "It
could."
"I mean, virtually no
ceremony. Just us and family...maybe a
few friends if we're feeling daring."
"That would be
acceptable."
She smiled. "No Vulcan royalty or peers or whatever
you are."
"Nobility."
"Right. None of that."
He kissed her, his arm going
around her more tightly, as if to keep her safe from falling--ever.
She sighed. "Okay.
I'll marry you."
He nodded. "I shall inform my parents."
Kissing him, she said with a
laugh, "That has to be the most unromantic proposal ever."
"As the end result was
most satisfactory, I am not unduly disturbed by that."
She laughed. "I guess I'm not either."
He touched her mouth the way
Sulu had and said, "You smile often now."
"You make me smile often
now."
His eyes were extraordinarily
tender as he said, "I am...glad."
"Yes, you look like the
picture of happiness." But she knew
her own eyes were soft.
"I love you," he
said, his tone so sweet she wouldn't have traded him for a thousand Romeos.
"I love you too,
Spock."
He kissed her again, softly
and slowly as if he was making sure she'd meant what she'd said about marrying
him. Then he pulled her in close
again. "I believe it would be
prudent to marry as soon as possible."
"I'm sure you do."
He shot her a look--stern and
not amused. She just laughed at
him. Cuddling against him, she let
herself go, felt herself getting drowsy.
"Whenever you want,
Spock," she said, her voice half muffled by his chest.
"Soon."
"Okay."
She wondered if the old
Christine Chapel had any idea of the hell she was in for. And the strange surprise that waited for
her--Spock would love her. Spock would
want to marry her. Spock would damn near
badger her into marrying him.
It was too rich. Or just rich enough to make up for what she'd
gone through, what she'd lost. What
she'd given up, or had yanked away from her.
Or never had at all--Valeris had brought them together. Christine didn't hate the woman anymore,
couldn't hate her, not when she had Spock now because she'd had Valeris first.
Sighing, she turned her head
so she could kiss Spock's neck, under his chin.
He reached over and stroked her cheek, softly.
"Thank you for rescuing
me." She didn't mean just from the
detention center.
She could tell he
understood. "You rescued me as well,"
he said. "I
was...floundering."
"You didn't look like
you were floundering."
"Nevertheless, I
was." He moved so he was on his
side, pulled her in closer, his arm and leg wrapping around her, pulling her as
close as she could be. "Rescuing
you saved us both."
"I'm glad." She kissed him.
"As am I." He rubbed his nose gently against hers, a
strangely sweet gesture, one that brought a lump to her throat.
She nestled more comfortably
against him then let herself relax in his arms, secure and protected--not that
she needed protection anymore.
But it was nice to know it
was there if she did.
FIN